#(and i felt even better)
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its baffling seeing people on here being all shocked about how other ppl didnt have sex or do drugs or drink or go to parties etc etc in high schools like. sorry i was too busy getting bullied to do all of that stuff i guess. why are you surprised that there鈥檚 losers on the cringe loser website
#like yeah i WISHED i could do that sort of stuff#but i felt so completely isolated from everyone else at my school bc ppl were so nasty to me#its fine cos im doing all the stuff i missed out on now that im in university#but some ppl dont even get that chance#maybe its not that serious but. idk. just dont be a dick#but also ppl who didnt do that stuff acting like theyre better than ppl who did is fucking annoying and also a dick move. btw#馃摷
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I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.
I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:
Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)
Getting the d茅cor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' d茅cor section and I adore it)
Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often
Eat dessert first
Celebrate well, and often
Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)
Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.
Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate
Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)
Walk without having a specific destination or goal
Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.
I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.
#mental health#mental health support#positivity#if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them!#i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all..#...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in...#...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air...#...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life...#...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with...#...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it...#...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it#i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive#unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better
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Offering lil doodles of them bc my eyes have been opened
#genshin impact#furina#clorinde#furinde#furina's character story 5 and her voicelines about clorinde has left me so mentally ill in the head#THE WAY FURINA FELT THAT SHE WAS NO LONGER WANTED AND ALMOST IMMEDIATELY CLORINDE POPPED UP TO INVITE HER TO A LIL GATHERING AMONG FRIENDS#NOT TO MENTION THAT CLORINDE IMMEDIATELY OFFERED TO PAY FOR HER TO HAVE BETTER LIVING CONDITIONS#EVEN WHEN DECLINED SHE STILL HELPED FURINA TIDY UP HER NEW APARTMENT BEFORE THEY WENT OUT FOR DRINKS TOGETHER#the way clorinde was no longer bound to any sort of contract but still went to visit furina and help her out of her own volition is so?????#AND the fact that little miss stonefaced 24/7 clorinde actually SMILED at furina???? chewing on aluminum foil#oughhhh they scratch at my brain so nicely#ALSO!! ALSO!! THE LONGING IN FURINA'S VOICE WHEN SHE SAYS HOW MUCH SHE TRUSTS CLORINDE AND MISSES HER IS SO!!!!!!!!!#crawling on the walls and howling as we speak#4.2 had made me already so deranged about furina to the point where she shot up from being just a funky lil guy to straight hyperfixation#I just thinjk;;;;;;; she deserves to be happy for once in her life (and have her lil emotional support bodyguard gf w/ her to smooch)
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Fellow Chaggie shipper, here and I wanted to ask you a question. Could you please do an analysis post on the Chaggie argument from Hello Rosie. I know this will sound weird but I can't get over the level of icy anger Charlie had towards Vaggie or how despite everything going on, Charlie is more hurt from Vaggie not being honest with her. Just angst all around.
Oh yeah sure I'd love to!
I'm not sure there's a lot I can say about that argument that isn't already super obvious, so I wanna talk about Charlie's anger because of something my brother said as we watched episode 7. He loved that episode apparently because "When they're separated, it's even more obvious that Charlie is the one who's more quick to lose her cool." Which, looking back, is actually true!(To an extent)
Vaggie and Charlie are both quite quick to anger. Charlie is just better at hiding it because she's a chronic people pleaser. Although Charlie wouldn't immediately show her anger at a person being a jerk to her specifically, she's immediately summoning fire and brimstone over anyone who hurts/insults her friends or the cause she's fighting for.
Love this lil bit in "You Didn't Know". How Vaggie is the one telling Charlie to calm down, as if she knows what's about to happen. She knows that if she doesn't at least try to reel in her girl Charlie would be spitting literal fire at a goddamn seraphim.
It would seem like such a surprising role reversal, but if you look at all the times Charlie would lose it whenever Vaggie's not there to tell her "babe, chill", then it makes sense.
But then when their fallout happens, Charlie's short temper is even more apparent. She calls Alastor an asshole to his face even though she considered choosing his support over her father's. She openly glares and rolls her eyes at Rosie when she jokes that her and Alastor look like an item even though she still kept things cordial with Valentino after he licked her arm. She flips the bird at some old lady even though she didn't take visible offense at all the demons that inserted their crude and rude selves in "Happy Day in Hell." While she was cold and subdued even when upset with Vaggie, she was explosive and in ur face when she was pissed at everyone else.
Vaggie reigned in both the girl in Charlie who dreams a little too big and the demon who's waiting to lash out in flames. It really makes me wonder if there's a difference in the kind of person Charlie used to be before Vaggie. Before she had friends to be angry on behalf of and a person to calm her down. And then, in the wake of their argument, Charlie is left with a lot of anger that is easy to ignite.
But I love love love that despite all that anger, Charlie can't bring herself to deny that she loves Vaggie with all of her hurt heart.
This little moment is one of my favorite parts in the series. My brother mentioned that this episode and episode three were his favorites because he liked the beats the dialogues followed. So he looked back--
(the man literally paused the episode to check the opening credits of ep 7 and 3. I was a little annoyed because I just wanted my Chaggie dammit! We'd make terrible youtube reactors with all the pausing and discussing mid-episode that we do...)
--and was satisfied to see that it was written by the same person, Ariel Ladensohn. Apparently she's in a sapphic relationship too and projected her own experiences whenever she wrote Vaggie and Charlie, and it must have paid off because the moments she wrote with them felt so real.
Charlie expressing her fear that even Vaggie's support and love could also be part of the lies she told was understandable considering the betrayal she felt. But immediately following that she goes "Oh that's a horrible to thing to think!" which I love even more. Even when she's understandably mad she thinks about how Vaggie would feel over Charlie thinking that of her. Because although Vaggie lied about who she is, Vaggie was always sincere about how she felt for Charlie. Vaggie's past may have been a lie, but the things she did for, to, and on behalf of Charlie were very real and held dear in Charlie's heart.
I dont have anything smart to say to conclude this. Sorry, I'm not even sure where I went here. Let's all just appreciate the smile Charlie has on her face when she thinks about Vaggie even when she's under a lot of stress I guess.
#asks#hazbin hotel#chaggie#truly love charlie as a character#i dont agree with people who say that charlie didn't feel like the main character of the show#she is still very much the heart and star of the story#if they felt more drawn to the male characters that isn't fully the show's fault#Alastor didn't even have as much screentime as i thought he would have#which is good!#he's entertaining but better in certain doses
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In the world I love
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In a different world
#vanitas no carte#vano茅#doomed yaoi save me...save me doomed yaoi#play on the opening song + visual sequence + the fact that vanitas could only ever be happy in an alternate universe also#+ the other fun little fact we learn about him from episode one#i have complex feelings about this anime#its pretty damn fucking good#but im a leeeeetle iffy about the way it developed the female characters.....they had potential and i was actually excited to#to see some good solid female characters even the respective romances with their l/i's felt good at the start#not jeanne obv. they fucked up a perfectly good woman and her whole dynamic with v could have gone sooo well without the reall#really forced flirting behaviour.... i liked the more serious relationship they had it made me actually not hate what they had at the start#but yknow. whatever. sorry about going off about another ship on this but im just....i love jeanne a lot. i wish they didnt do her so dirty#my girl deserves better than this asshole#you want white/black dynamics??? let her get married to domi and then we can talk#i enjoy this show and i enjoy vanoe a lot#very yuriyaoi if you ask me#my art
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"See you tomorrow"
MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 4 [prev parts]
#better drawn mdzs#MDZS Disco Elysium AU#mdzs au#Lan wangji#wei wuxian#yiling laozu#Happy Belated Halloween!#digital art#Thank you all for your patience as I drove myself into a madness only known by those lost at seas alone.#I put a lot of time into this one! It's not perfect but I am very happy with it + I am so happy to put down the tablet pen.#Digital art has some nice features but I'm sticking with traditional! I need a month to recover from the 2+ weeks of torture.#Okay lets talk about the AU and the comic now#Disco elysium has some of the best existential-horror-dream sequences I have ever seen.#The dialogue here is heavily inspired by The Final Dream - A scene I'd love to talk about more were it not so heavy with spoilers.#My AU is a lot more complex than a simple character swap but I really felt like LWJ + YLLZ fit this scene.#The final dream is about being unable to move on from a lost love. From something You made holy. From something You ruined.#It is about realizing that no matter how smart you are or what you offer or how you try to change -#You will never be able to turn back time. You will never ever be able to fix what is broken. That you also have been broken for a long time#You are a fuck-up who worships the nail covered ground of someone who did not want to be holy. And even though it hurts-#You cannot let this nightmare go. The pain keeps the love close. It is worse to forget. You promised to remember.#WWX died thinking LWJ disliked him. LWJ lost someone he thought was revolted by his love.
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If you keep drawing ronnie bigger I wonder how big he鈥檚 gonna end up??? 馃憖馃憖馃憖馃憖 what鈥檚 the fattest you鈥檇 be comfortable drawing him?
Nothing drastic, for now >:)
#ask#anon#idk if it's a common experience for artists who draw characters they see themselves in but#I used to get extremely embarrassed drawing ronnie#especially as fat as I actually wanted him to be#I remember drawing the curve of his belly the first times felt illegal 馃槶馃槶 like I had to take breaksss#Never held back with my girl characters tho#The size he's at now fits him better#He's not just lazy now- his gut is actually pinning him down this time >:)#p.s. thank you for sticking around even if I'm not as active as before
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I remember Garrus complains a lot in the third game when you take him to an ice world but I forgot he would complain about this even in the first game.
Put on a sweater, bird boy.
Liara profusely apologised after the mission thinking she had made some MASSIVE social mistake and overthinking it until she was in a state of anxiety. As is ME1 Liara's way.
#Mass Effect#Mass Effect 1#Garrus Vakarian#Commander Shepard#Liara T'Soni#Opold#I didn't feel like drawing their guns so just pretend they're there lol#I need a better art tag#For some reason this one took so fucking long#I don't even know why it just felt like it took foreeeeeever#the previous ones I could knock out in like 2 or 3 hours#This may shock you but I don't have a size chart to work off of#No size chart we die like men#Mass Effect comics
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So I've had this wip sitting in my folders for months now and decided to ressurect it to satiate the urge to draw these two again
#I actually finished a wip after abandoning it for so long alright iconic moment for me personally#this is them in the cab coming back from the warrens after getting their asses handed to them by all the szlachta#she handled herself a lil better but vincent is squishy and almost died like. 10 times#vtm#vtmb#the fledgling#brujah#oc.vince#oc.pepper#ship: viper#sleepyscribble#she looks a lil sad bc yk she nearly lost the dude and she starts realizing she liiikes hiiiiiim teehee#she legit doesn't know what she would do if she rlly lost him#but she doesn't think she's in love ofc ofc it's just that yk he's the only person she really feels like she can trust#and the only one she feels really good around and who she feels she could tell anything to#and tbh she hasn't felt this way with anyone else in a long long time even before she became undead and had to deal w the other kindred#but that's normal for a friendship yk this is just a really strong friendship why ruin it with romance right that's stupid#no she wasn't watching him take his shirt off with her eyes almost popping out of her skull the other day shhh that didn't happen#she doesn't even remember he has freckles on his back and a scar on his shoulder. the left one. she doesn't remember she wasn't even lookin#ANYWAY no lust no feelings she's fine don't worry abt it 馃憤馃徎
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this old world may never change and sometimes i wonder: do you ever think of me?
#my art#ok to rb#christopher moltisanti#when that wizard cursed me and i felt indebted to his soul#sketchbook tour#sopranos#sopranos fanart#christopher your violent delights will undoubtedly have violent ends (are they even your delights to begin with?)#these are like 6 mo old now. at least the first two#i could prob make these look better if i edited them for longer but i cant be fucked. only uploading these now bc i figured if its been 6#months i probably wont ever go scan these with the heavy duty 800 dpi scanner. this works good enough#i dont really draw like this anymore it got really exhausting#i miss watching sopranos so bad i felt like i was feasting on it for days every time i watched an episode. took so long for me to watch#bc anything that makes me feel that high couldnt be good for me. had to space the episodes out by a few days
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The absolute biggest thing I've learned as a trans guy: there is nothing more masculine and manly than not caring about looking or acting masculine or manly. Growing your masculinity or manhood takes time and care - you have no obligation to let the world water your garden when you can do that just fine (and you can, even if it doesn't feel like you can!)
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#trans advice#got a stereotypically 'feminine/woman' piercing and. i feel like a man *inverted shania twain riff from man! i feel like a woman*#nothing affirms my manhood more than not caring about the genuinely toxic imaginings that the world has about manhood and men like me 馃憤#yes it can be a struggle ESPECIALLY if you're somebody who actively has to defend your masculinity/manhood...#...it's hard for me too sometimes. i had to not only build my manhood but jealously defend it from the 'phobes...#...but i am all the better for it because this is MINE. i have never truly owned something in this way...#...i don't own other people nor my cats nor even my material possessions - not in the way i own my manhood...#...i own it like a tiger owns his territory and i defend it similarly...#...i do not WANT to own my loved ones or possessions the same as i own my manhood and masculinity. this is special to me#my manhood was *made* for me to be owned anyway. i feel that applies to every trans person who hasn't felt able to own themselves#this is in the same vein as learning to cast aside the cissexist views of bodies&experiences that can make dysphoria worae
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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
-
(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#tumblr polls#hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today#still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual#They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully#it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec#fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since#I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm#ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos#or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things#I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming#over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY#I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb#e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about#different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see#stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I#can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone#said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects#the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm
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Wholeheartedly
#(but not willingly)#they makr me insaaaaaaane bc its like.#wanting to be who you used to be. wanting to go back to when things didnt hurt all the time#ignoring the fact that even back then things were still bad#it was bad and it still is bad but now its bad and also painful constantly#and just bad is better than pain#but its not possible to go back bc ur not that person anymore#and 'that person' is now seperate from you#and he doesnt know anything#and all you want anymore is to join with him so you can both be the 'you' that was sad and lonely and abused#but at least you werent in pain#this actually doesnt have much to do with the art itself i just felt like rambling about vanitas bc hes fucked ip#and deserves therapy for *gestures vaugely* all that#vanitas#ventus#vanven#in spirit#kingdom hearts#kingdom hearts birth by sleep#kh#kh bbs#art#my art#xanders art#digital art#fan art
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like we were so fucking robbed of seeing perez in the wake of saw vs events I want to see her getting out of the hospital and flipping tables and pointing a gun in ericksons face after being told that strahm is the lead suspect. I want to see her having a breakdown after strahms fingerprints come back dead. I want to see her hand twitching over her gun everytime she sees hoffman. I want to see her fucking losing it and desperate to avenge her friend and partner and to clear his name. I want to see the thought process that lead to her inviting known serial killer mark hoffman to the basement lab just so she could torture him psychologically before she had a legitimate excuse to shoot him. I want to see more of her and I want to see how strahms death impacted her the way the reverse impacted him.
#lindsey perez lindsey perezzzzz#we did not see nearly enough of her#she was so overshadowed by strahm in iv and then didnt even get to be a main character in vi#she showed up. psychologically tortured hoffman. and then she died (again).#realistically she's way better at hiding her insanity so I think she wouldn't lose it nearly as bad as strahm did#but I want just one little moment where she's on her own and she fucking loses it#forced to let your boss tell your best friend you're dead. he goes missing. is declared a suspect. turns up dead. no body to bury#more of her pov on these events please. please. please.#it would be so sanity inducing cause she KNEW it was hoffman. her last words to strahm was hoffmans name#and she knew him so well.... she must've known strahm went after him in the wake of her 'death'. the fucking guilt she must have felt#espeon cries#saw#i am so so sick in the head about her today
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Halsin would tell you to go touch grass but mean it 100% sincerely.
#BG3 Musing#Halsin Posting#Halsin#go touch some grass and maybe you'll calm down#and someone just reacting so negatively to that like well you don't need to be sassy#and halsin is like ??? i'm..i'm telling you to go outside and it'll make you feel better?#i keep imagining halsin sneaking out of the elfsong to go hide in the park because it's the closest he can get to feeling#even remotely comfortable in the city and you just find him on his back staring at the peeks of sky and he looks so much better#than he did when his shirt collar was choking him and the pavement beneath him felt like a death sentence#i feel like people really get on his case for being so upset in the city and criticizing it but like...the man is literally wilting there#he's suffocating - it's like...well...like putting a bear in a cage#and expecting him to perform for you#he will be angry and wounded and try to escape#and only when you've completely throttled him into submission - broken him completely - will he stop fighting you
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you know i got halfway through this before realizing i probably subconsciously ripped the concept from an old tumblr post sorry
#and then keith would say something rude and they would get into an argument for 3 hours#klance#vld#voltron#art#my art#ok guys we're in the tags time for my character debrief that no one asked for or cares about#i imagine this as like. far enough into their friendship that lance doesnt IMMEDIATELY come to blows#but keith feels the immediate need to make his emotional constipation everyones problem. and instigates a fight.#obviously that fucker would have to be on his actual deathbed in order to speak from tjhe heart#BUT if he somehow felt the motivation to fess up before then. it would be. such. an ordeal.#lance would be scratching his head like. why is keith insulting me out of nowhere 3982 times this week. i thought we were doing better#little does he know every time is just a try and fail on keiths part#because he needs an emotional miralax.#bless his heart.#if youre writing keith and he isnt dragged kicking screaming and dyiing into his feelings#are you even writing keith?#anyway this one goes out to katie klanced#hopefully you approve
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