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#(You maybe think I'm mentally insane) It's true.
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The issues & beauties of German music
(70s Kraut Rock )
Here, NOT ONE SINGLE SOUL talks about Krautrock 🌿 it seems like dead & forgotten (except CAN)
which is sad about this phenomenon :/ the only ones paying attention are prog magazines and music connoisseurs
Everyone talks about the Scorpions and Rammstein (in fact it's quality). Sometimes Boney M but... it's always the same: good music is too elite for the masses.
Even the band Eloy. Prog fans love them- the most listeners come from other places of the earth but not their origin country. Often a fault of the music industry, critics as well as the radio stations which really neglected these now in modern times.
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The rhymes & language, pronunciation
Sure, worse languages exist. But to be honest, can you relax, with the German language? There's no flow at all, nothing like Italian or, you know, English. It's a popular opinion and what speaks against it?
Depends on the way someone sings and per region there is a difference but some harshness is always there.
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Sung in English example: Eloy (again)
Some people are totally fine with the accent (their whole discography is in English sung by Frank Bornemann!!) others have problems getting into this band. Depends on the listener.
What often happened was that the groups had a British singer...
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Old fashioned names
For example British rock: someone asks you, you say your idol is some random Jeff or Pete or whatever their names are. What about German musician's names? They're called Dieter or Jogi or Herbert or Udo
"Who's your favourite musician?" - Jürgen xy (sorry shouldn't sound mean)
People make jokes about old fashioned names, then why blaming yourself and getting sideeyed.
This is all a matter of coolness, let's move to the music...
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A few information
Okay don't judge (seems extremely stereotype now) the people, musicians of the 60s and 70s were the first generation after WW2. You can imagine. The children of ex- patriots. They wanted to change something. BUT!! They were BOUND in the roots of their country.
There was a scene and later with many students and discotheques. There were artists from all over the world. The music is innovative and you can hear it even clearly. You can also hear their protest, spirit and the diversity of sounds.
There is nothing you can call THE Kraut. It's practically impossible to sum the sound up. Actually it's not a genre. That one word represents all the music made in Germany
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An example.
You hear the instruments? The bass, drums, hard guitar, organs, saxophone EVERYTHING WORKS. SO FINE MUSIC.
Listen to it, create your own opinion.
Notes
1. So many songs by this one group called Lied des Teufels? Yeah. They're not known at all. That singer sounds like imitating Ian Gillan- Everyone can TRY to copy but they do it in their own style which is not copying, it's storytelling. (Kind of)
2. THE WHOLE THING SHOULD NOT MAKE ME SEEM PASSIONATE OR SOMETHING BECAUSE I DISCOVERED KRAUT LITERALLY YESTERDAY
3. Probably it's something that gets boring really fast
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So...
Skillful musicians w/ ability to express themselves and the problems of their country. Wether the singing style is something for you or not- there are countless of other groups.
We HAVE TO speak about these forgotten acts again & give it a chance
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mothmanchronicler · 2 years
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everyone is arguing abt bughead vs jabitha today but i'm pretty sure he loves both of them (in a most unfortunate way)
incoherent thoughts abt this in the tags but the conclusion is that tabitha deserves a happy ending
#sometimes you literally cannot help the emotions someone drags out of you !!!#i have an ex that can still make me feel the grief of our break up years later#i'm not in love with them anymore and i'm happily dating my fiancé but like ??? sometimes pain and love are seared into your essence dude#also i think it's a better narrative choice because it creates a very emotional/intense choice for tabitha to make#and maybe this is wishful thinking with the rvd writers but jabitha choosing to stay together in the end would be ...#bittersweet? realistic?#a true picture of loving someone so much that you choose them even when it hurts both of you?#and on the flip side- if bughead got back together? WOOF#i won't stand here before you and lie that i didn't enjoy bughead (it's fun to watch tender loving toxic relationships sue me!)#and yeah i'd enjoy the whiplash insanity that a bughead reunion would bring to the show for the drama#but i think bughead is not good for either of them!!! at least where they stand as individuals now#specifically thinking abt jughead lying to his loved ones still#and betty's refusal to like face her traumas with open vulnerability ?#and also both of their for some fucking reason life long aversions to therapy#but there's def more reasons that bughead not matter how much they love each other are doomed to an unhealthy relationship unless#there's a major shift in both characters (not even pretending to hope that rvd will ever explore mental health in a good way lol)#and you know what? i would love to watch that but for jughead tabitha is the chance of a healthy relationship imo#long story short betty and jughead both lack a sense of indentity in ways that hurt themselves and each other#i can't elaborate on that yet but i know it's true lol#all of this ignoring that i'm almost entirely convinced that jughead's love will be tabitha's literal demise#tabitha loves this broken little man with all of her heart and i'm wondering if that's a healthy relationship for her#i want to know more abt what jughead envokes within tabitha that she feels makes him worthy of such love#actually i just want to know more abt tabitha's life before riverdale#i'd like a list of her exes as well thank you#just!!! her devotion to jughead#i really want to know more abt it and her own relationship to that devotion#i'm very high and i'm thinking VERY hard abt the canon ships#don't even get me STARTED on barchie and varchie#ps jughead is gay i'm just thinking and saying words for fun
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httpsserene · 5 months
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𝖍𝖙𝖙𝖕𝖘𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖓𝖊'𝖘 1𝖐 𝖘𝖕𝖊𝖈𝖎𝖆𝖑
welcome to the table of contents for my one-thousand followers special !
i'm baffled at the amount of love and support from all of you; in under the two-months i've been writing on this blog, i've managed to have good enough writing to convince you guys to save my blog. i started writing f1 ff's with the sole purpose to provide more black!reader based content, and i never imagined that i'd have a thousand eyes reading my delusional scenarios lol. thank you, truly, from the bottom of my heart :)
as promised, the special event is a continuation of the first upload of my f1 kinktober series. those of you who were desperate for a part-two of the corruption kink with charles leclerc / max verstappen / black!reader--here it is, in abundance. a five-part series (including the f1-ktober upload). merry christmas, loves xxx
if you would like to be added to this series' taglist, send me an ask or leave a reply.
all episodes uploaded at 12 PM EST on their release date.
posts tagged as # httpss :// 1k special.
all works can be found in my table of contents (m.list).
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𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐬
𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: max and charles don’t mind receiving a five-second penalty for slipping past your boundaries. seeing a black and white flag doesn’t scare them in the slightest; not when you're performing so well under their guidance. 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: charles leclerc / max verstappen x fem!black!reader 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: multi-chaptered series.
view playlist? ↴
pilot: corruption kink w/ charles leclerc and max verstappen
innocent and virgin !reader has never touched herself before. she knows how to, in theory, but whenever she tries, she chickens out. her tried and true way of receiving pleasure is failing her. she thinks that maybe it's time to allow her relationship with her two respectful and experienced boyfriends, to reach the next step. and she'll find that they're very willing to teach her a few things.
episode two: 𝗿𝗲𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝘃𝗼𝗿 | handjobs | 12/9/23
slightly less innocent, virgin!reader has had her view of pleasure shifted. her libido has increased to insane levels after she finally allowed her boyfriends to fix her…dry spell. charles and max have no issues with helping her ride out her newfound sexual appetite, and figure that she may be ready to take the next step. or, more accurately, take the next hand.
soundtrack - gun • doja cat
episode three: 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝘃𝗲 | fingering | 12/11/23
tainted, virgin!reader is growing tired of grinding against her boyfriends. she’s never touched herself before—no toys, no fingers, no fondling—the friction from a pillow used to be enough. but, maybe having something inside of her isn’t as terrifying as she believed. charles’ pretty pianist fingers don’t look too scary, and they way he raves about how talented max’s daunting thicker fingers are; well, she could be convinced to see what all the fuss is about.
soundtrack - pressure • ari lennox
episode four: 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘄𝘁𝗵 | oral sex | 12/15/23
soiled, virgin!reader is well aware of her boyfriends’ desire to eat her alive, sorry, to eat her out. from the way they can’t resist drinking her wetness off their (or her own) fingers, to the way they can’t stop running their mouths about getting their mouths on you: they’ve made how desperate they are, very clear. for some reason, she can’t get past her mental block to allow them to feast between her legs, or to taste what’s between theirs. max figures she just needs a demonstration to quell her fears; charles is a more than willing participant.
soundtrack - super freaky girl • nicki minaj
finale: 𝘂𝗻𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘀𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿 | vaginal sex | 12/17/23
tonight, innocent and virgin!reader will be defiled, deflowered, tarnished—whichever word you prefer. from the moment she told them she was ready to lose her virginity, they’ve been carefully planning out a special night, for her. and shockingly, there’s not an ounce of fear, anxiety, or doubt in her mind—max and charles have gained her complete trust. they haven’t given her a single reason to believe that they wouldn’t treat her right. she couldn’t have asked for better men to take her virginity—if this is corruption, she’s delighted to experience it.
soundtrack - wet dreamz • j.cole
current taglist: @saintslewis @cherry2stems @lorarri @inloveallthetime @mindless-rock @biancathecool@barnestatic @my-ylenia @katekipshidze @darleneslane @lovingaphroditesworld @smoothopz @vetteltea @dreamingofautopia @jayswifee @megatrilss1885 @nanamilkbread @sophia12345678 @benstormy @userlandonorris@xxniallxxsworld @starfusionsworld@hangmandruigandmav @spicybagel14 @ggaslyp1 @idontgotopartiesanymore @woozarts @yourlilitha @smartstupyd @itsmiamalfoy @ineedafictionalman @everythingabby101 @valent1na-ferrari @vetteltea @dark-night-sky-99 @svinzlec @angelfreckless
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© httpsserene2023
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pianokantzart · 7 months
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Do you think Luigi actually has anxiety? Like, I know people portray him as like anxiety riddled or a scaredy-cat and my least favourite, a "coward".
But do you think Luigi actually has anxiety, such as Generalised Anxiety Disorder? Him being scared of most things and maybe even sometimes overthinking a bit too much.
Absolutely.
I'm a long time believer that Luigi has Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and one of the main pieces of evidence I point to is his sleepiness. Fatigue is known to be one of the main symptoms of GAD. Anxiety is exhausting, physically and mentally, and can completely mess up your sleep schedule.
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But Luigi also exhibits other symptoms, including…
Being easily startled
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Exhibiting strong physical reactions to fear (trembling, twitching, sweating, shortness of breath, etc)
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Difficulty regulating emotion
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Second-guessing and self doubt
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... And, sometimes, (particularly in the Mario and Luigi games), he is shown to be a little messy and inattentive, and you know what’s also a common symptom of GAD?
Difficulty concentrating (thanks in part to the fatigue)
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I think he has learned the coping mechanisms necessary to handle his GAD in day to day life, but when it comes to legitimately dangerous situations the triggers can be a little too intense for him, especially if he doesn't have his brother around to keep him grounded. But Luigi is definitely not a coward. Far from it. The fact that he goes out and faces his fears despite his anxiety makes him both insanely brave and highly admirable in my book. A true hero, through and through.
Sources:
Generalized Anxiety Disorder Overview: X How To Recognize if You Have GAD: X Tiredness and Anxiety: X Evidence of Emotion-Related Deficits in GAD: X
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illuminoia · 3 months
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6. You smell like the sun
note: please note that the place jing yuan and reader are in are hinted to be cold. like enough to wear a coat and scarf and all.
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You tuck just a little bit more into your coat, evidently warming you just a little bit in the harsh cold, and your nervousness that's running fullforce in your veins.
The sounds of hushed conversations inside the café bouncing off of the walls. The sound of the cashier tapping in orders with a smile.
(You think you must have really gone insane.)
Your eyes linger for a moment on him. He's there, ordering the both of yourselves the coffee you recommended. He's there, hair pulled up into a neat ponytail, patiently waiting for the barista to finish making the drink.
When Jing Yuan turns to you, a smile on his face and the cups of coffee in hand, you almost shiver. It's the eyes, you think. Those clear-cut, gentle, warm eyes. Topaz gemstones that encompass you like a warm embrace of the sun.  
The two of you exit the cafe, and settle to walk towards the park. There's rarely anyone there, and since Jing Yuan isn't familiar with the area, it would be a good place to go.
"Thank you." you offer a small smile, trying your best to keep your eyes on his, instead of shying away from his gaze when he draws close to you, taking your cup from his hands. Your fingers brush against his when you take the drink, and he only hums in response.
God, even his voice sounds pretty.
You fluster at your thoughts. Drink your coffee in a slight panic when his brows buoy, bunching in concern. You hit yourself in the head mentally. You're not acting like yourself. 
"Are you alright?" He asks. He tips his head, trying to check if you were alright. His eyes bore into yours. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have suggested to make you accompany me."
Jing Yuan's tone is light, but concern seeps through it. It makes you feel sad and a little happy, just a little.
This is new for you. Different. It's sadder than you'd ever imagined yourself to be in. True concern and worry coming from another person outside of your friends, much less a man you've barely known, is jarring. A stark contrast to the toxicity you tolerated for yourself for months.
Ah, forget it. No use being negative right now!
"I'm good." You say, enjoying the taste of the drink lingering on your tongue. "If I was uncomfortable, I wouldn't even have replied to you, you know?"
His lets out a chuckle, sipping his own coffee.
"That's true, I did DM you quite abruptly." He says. There is a softness in his eyes when he looks at you, one that you can't place, but it makes your pulse race. 
"Are you sure you're alright?" He asks again, this time leaning closer to your space. You didn't realize you were staring. 
"Ah, it's just that you smell like the sun, is all." You hastily blurt out whatever you thought of. You flush red at your own words.
(That charm and looks of his really make for a deadly combination.)
"Mm, yeah," he chuckles again as he straightens his form, this time almost teasing. His presence is comforting. His free hand hovers on your back, guiding you away from the stranger passing in a hurry. "That would be my cat's fault."
"Your cat?" You ask excitedly. He chuckles. Cute.
"Her name is Mimi." He says, pulling up his phone and showing you a couple of pictures. You almost coo at how adorable his cat is.
"I wish I could hold her." You murmur.
"Maybe next time." He tells you, and you think your inner self is dying at the implication, but before you could overthink it, your phone rings.
It was Himeko, asking you if you could come quickly to a venue for an emergency shoot. She's already sent a car to pick you up, since you did tell her your whereabouts before going out.
You look at him sheepishly when you end the call, and he laughs.
"It's alright, I know you're busy." He says with a smile. "You should prioritize it first. We can always have the next time you're free."
Before you could reply, however, the vehicle assigned to pick you up already arrives, waiting for you.
Talk about timing. First the call, and now the car.
The cold breeze passes, and you shiver. Jing Yuan's brows furrow. His hand tugs against the scarf from around his neck, and wraps it around your own. "I should have done this earlier. It's quite cold, so this should help you keep warm even by little bit on your trip."
Your brain short-circuits.
"Thank you for today. It was nice." He says, expression soft. "Stay safe."
"You too." You muster out a reply, and you almost melt again at his smile.
You enter the vehicle, and watch as he slowly fades from your view, slowly.
Your coat doesn't quite compare to how gentle, warm his own scarf made you feel.
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previous | masterlist | next
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note: i took some liberties and made mimi a cat. poor reader if mimi was a lion.
also wanted to add more messages and some thoughts reader was having before they met but decided against it bc tumblr. anyway, it still comes across so hopefully its not too bad.
enjoy :)
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gh0stbeeee · 5 months
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Rise of the Guardians/The Guardians of Childhood is low-key my Roman Empire.
Like, specifically in the movie verse, there's just... so much that was never elaborated on. It's one of the unfortunate side effects of being kid's media, things get dumbed down for no reason.
Like, Jack Frost in general as a character. He died. DIED. He DROWNED in a pond saving his sister and??? Nothing. The entire moment when he remembered became "Oh I'm the fun guy that had a family and saved my sister!" AND DIED. Very important part that is completely glossed over other than the idea of sacrifice. Like, the other guardians were "chosen," did they not die too? Did Jack lose his memories because he died, but the others were chosen while alive, chose to leave their lives and remembered?
And just, what were his early years? For a very long time, at least a decade, he probably thought he was totally invisible, that he could never have a true conversation with another person, because I doubt that he stumbled upon another spirit/legend for a while.
Like, that would have driven him INSANE. There's no way he wouldn't be super socially awkward from the isolation, much less just totally mentally well. Are spirit's brains built different? They'd have to be, but I don't think they should be able to withstand that level. Like what was the mim thinking??? Seriously just abandoned a TEENAGER he resurrected with no memory or possibility of support, that's wrong.
And on that note, let me reiterate that Jack died. In front of his little sister. Who had to go back home and tell her family what happened. Did he have a father too? More siblings? Friends and family? They had a funeral no doubt, mourned him. Because he died.
The worst part? He was right there. The whole time. Jack came back to that pond and settlement for hundreds of years, even when it became Burgress. He probably watched his funeral not knowing what was going on, saw his family mourn him without knowing it was for him. He was there when they died, not knowing who they were to him. Did he realize later on? I can only imagine the devastation.
The worst part is Manny probably had to take his memories, because Jack would have been DEPRESSED. He would've tried everything to make them believe, and they probably never would. His parents would probably never see him again, they were adults. His sister was plausible, but she's still mortal. She would have died, Jack would have seen his little sister grow old and die while he stayed eternally young. He might've not ever recovered from that, mim taking his memories distanced him from the pain for when he remembered 300 years later.
But he also could have moved on, grown and loved her descendants and honored her. The mim took that choice away, and that's pretty fucked up.
Then yeah, 300 years of pretty much no acknowledgement. Going into live blind with no guidance or memories, trying to figure yourself out but being ignored by the once who brought you here. Jack would realistically be a little nutty, because wow. It's shown the even other spirits didn't really talk to him, he made them acknowledge him by playing pranks and pissing them off till they confronted him. Maybe it's in spirit's nature to be recluses, but it's not in Jack's. He wanted attention and to be seen, but no one wanted to or could give it to him.
That's why Jamie seeing him for the first time always makes me tear up. This is the first time for HUNDREDS of years that a human has acknowledged him, not an out of touch spirit, but a regular person Jack can connect with, that chose to see him, to believe. That's beautiful, and special.
There's just so many layers to this story that we never got to see, and I'm forever sad DreamWorks abandoned the franchise.
(If anyone has any good fics that explore topics like this, especially Jack's family, please share)
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hugheses · 19 days
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love your scholarship 🥸
do you know anything about their school/college days - ie if they liked school/had favourite subjects/took particular classes? if Quinn and Luke declared majors at mich?
also if they’ve ever said what they read? think I read that Jack says he likes to read (sports books maybe?) in his spare time and one in of Ellen’s interviews she talks about reading (to them?) and somewhere else about how she was super involved in their academics
The teacher in me is fascinated!
quinn was enrolled in the school of kinesiology and majoring in sports management.
in 2021 he said
If you weren’t a hockey player, what else might you be doing? — Veronica X. I don’t know, I love golf. I’d probably be golfing a lot. I’d be in school somewhere … I’d be a senior right now so I’d probably be getting my degree in the next couple of weeks. Maybe business or sport management? That’s what I was looking at at Michigan for two years.
luke's intended major was also sports management. he was taking a business management class and fumbled his part on a group project when he signed with the devils. he took a greek sports history class and talked about how he doesn't love school but he likes history here (worth listening to imo) and he also enjoyed history of college athletics. luke actually took an online college class before officially starting at umich
"I'm taking an online chemistry class to get it off my plate. I wake-up and do two hours of that and then I go and work out with [trainer] Brian Gallivan and then I skate and then just chill by the pool and hang out. It's been nice."
here's a snippet from quinn about books
Hughes has become an avid reader to expand his knowledge and make better use of downtime. He recently completed “The Boys in the Boat” historical epic that was made into a movie directed by George Clooney. “I buried it, it’s done,” Hughes proudly stated Tuesday after practice. “I finished it three weeks ago. Great book. Page turner. I’m reading ‘Moneyball’ now.” “Boys in the Boat” is a riveting and true account of how the Depression-era University of Washington junior varsity rowing team stunned the world by overcoming immense odds to capture gold at the 1936 Olympics in Berlin. Joe Rantz was a driving force for the eight-man crew. A strong rower with an unshakeable disposition sounds a lot like the driven Hughes. “I thought Joe was just a hard worker who did his job and was a quiet guy,” said Hughes. “He appreciated everything that came his way. He pretty much raised himself from the age of 10 and was a very outdoors person.”
he apparently is "reading a book almost weekly to try to improve his brain" and he also was spotted reading Stay Sane in an Insane World: How to Control the Controllables and Thrive
jack likes reading sports books as said here, specifically Eleven Rings: The Soul of Success and Three-Ring Circus: Kobe, Shaq, Phil, and the Crazy Years of the Lakers Dynasty. The Mamba Mentality: How I Play was on his reading list in high school. he also talks about books here
Craig: The other thing that (Williams) said was reading. He said you’re asking for book recs. We’re looking for book recs. We’re big readers. Jack: Yeah, you guys got any? I dunno. (I’m tired of) everything on my phone, social media, things like that — and I never went to college, so you gotta get smarter somehow. Craig: Are you a fiction guy? Are you a self-improvement guy? What do you find yourself gravitating towards? Jack: I read a lot of sports books. “Eleven Rings,” by Phil Jackson. Also, “Greenlights” by Matthew McConaughey. Those are my favorite ones I’ve read recently. It’s important. We’ve got a lot of down time on the road, so it’s good stuff.
as for ellen, she said this in the cammi & aj podcast
So for me, you do things that you enjoy or you- you teach them things that you feel like you can teach them, Right. So it's kind of a slight on me that I wasn't more worldly and wanting to take them to museums. Or maybe like I felt like I had do those things because like, ‘Oh my God, what am I teaching them?’ But you tend to do the things that you - you're trying to find activities. Jimmy was off coaching a lot, I had three young boys that were really close in age. So what do I know? What can I do to pass time and keep them active? It was kicking a soccer ball. It was throwing a ball, it was doing rollerblading, it was passing the puck, it was taking them skating. So for me, those were mommy and me activities, right? And then every once in a while I'd be like, you know, I'd be like, ‘uh, we got to do Kumon, we gotta do like - we gotta read.’ You know, academics was really important to me because I felt like I was so driven the other way that like, I didn’t want to miss out on the other. So for us, it was never this grandiose plan, and I'm sure you guys were the same way. It was more like, ‘be the best at whatever it is you're doing, work your hardest at whatever it is you're doing.’ Working the hardest didn't mean scoring the most goals. It was playing the right way, whatever it is, being a great teammate and working really, really hard and we always felt like the other would come.
other potentially interesting notes, jack was an honor roll student in 8th grade, and quinn agreed he was the best at school when they were younger, so it's funny he's the one who didn't end up going to college. ellen's brother is actually the president of denison university and they have some pretty academic cousins also.
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yuri-is-online · 2 months
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omg... we talk about yuu here?? we love yuu here???
I could talk about yuu forever, they're infinitely more interesting than any of the boys to me (not sorry). I know for a lot of people yuu is just kind of their pawn for this epic fantasy world and they don't even think about the ramifications, but me personally I would descend into insanity if I got isekai'd into magical teenage boy hell. deep down I know this freak is traumatized to the nines and likely severely depressed.
one of the most important things about yuu's character is that they feel helpless. they can't perform magic in a world that's almost completely reliant on it, for one. as you've pointed out, they have no true autonomy. they have no government documentation, no family, nowhere to go, hell, they're not even a full student. they have no real hope of going home, and most of the nrc boys don't even seem to particularly care about that (if anything, I assume a lot of them would selfishly want yuu to stay, regardless of yuu's own wishes). the rules of this world are still unclear to them, and people don't really seem to acknowledge that.
can you imagine how lonely that existence would be? sure, people like yuu. they have friends. but as you've pointed out, no one (with the exception of adeuce, maybe) really seems to care about how things effect them specifically. yuu is manipulated, exploited, physically hurt and almost killed like, a bunch of times, bullied, harassed, and on top of everything, completely helpless to it. despite having friends who supposedly care about them, no one really seems to think about yuu's feelings on magic and the multiple life-threatening incidents they've experienced in their short time at nrc. as someone who has ptsd, I can't imagine that yuu would walk out of all that completely mentally unscathed.
as you've pointed out before, yuu is treated like any other student. their experiences and circumstances are never really taken into consideration, and they're expected to just... go along with things like everyone else. sure, equality is nice, but that doesn't really help yuu's case. yes, realistically, yuu is not totally helpless but good lord someone needs to help them out. someone needs to empathize with them, and defend them, and at least try a little to help them navigate this terrifying reality they've been expected to... just adjust to with no help. with their lack of autonomy, they're pretty much at the complete mercy of the people around them. yuu is lonely and I stand by that.
and on top of all of this, they have a massive amount of responsibility dumped on them constantly. yuu is a sort of mediator. they solve problems, usually ones that other people create, and never really by their own will. they arguably live in pretty shitty conditions and have no way of making money. they have to not only babysit grim (bless him tho), but also literally everyone else, while also trying to keep their own shit together. I mean, they're still technically a student. and a mini-housewarden. and crowley's errand runner. and they just got here a few months ago. psh.
yuu feels helpless, but they aren't treated as such, and so no one really extends a helping hand without ulterior motives. as much as ace and deuce want to help, they're also teenage boys and have their own tiny worlds to attend to. while people can be nice, no one seems to really want to understand, or care, about yuu's mental health.
anyway. I love the boys but in my heart I know that my yuu wouldn't be able to handle all that. me irl already deals with feelings of loneliness and crushing responsibility and misunderstanding and helplessness. twst is not a choose your own adventure type game and the tiny choices yuu gets to make don't really affect the story (which is oddly symbolic).
but like, listen. if I was zapped to another universe where I'm completely alone at a school full of teenage boys, most of which who couldn't care less if I lived or died, and one day I was sent on a trip to a city that painfully reminded me of home and some catholic-coded freak started being really considerate and empathetic to me for no other reason besides just liking me and genuinely being appalled at my circumstances, I would help him destroy magic. idc. I wouldn't even think twice about it. I stand by the idea that rollo feels some kind of affection for yuu. this would affect all of the diasomnia book because I would literally not want to leave and they'd have to drag me out of fleur city screaming and crying and clawing at the floor. poor malleus would be crushed.
anyway. haven't caught up to diasomnia yet so I may be way off. feel free to answer this or not! sorry for my weird english byebye!! love your posts
Yes we talk about Yuu here! They're the goat and I am so sorry I took forever to respond to your ask! Your English is wonderful you just had so much to say I had to really think on it σ( ̄、 ̄=)
>deep down I know this freak is traumatized to the nines and likely severely depressed.
I think this is a very reasonable assumption to make about Yuu. While how well they take being isekaid to "magical teenage boy hell" (that's such a funny way to put it) is something up to each player's interpretation I like to write Yuu as being prone to bouts of longing for their own world, if for nothing else than wanting to feel something familiar to them. Which you point out in the rest of your ask!
I think one of the reasons people loved Rollo so much is that he was finally someone who acknowledged all those little things about Yuu's situation that we wanted to see talked about. He is someone we can realistically sympathizing with Yuu's situation and would treat them with a degree of care the other boys might not notice they needed. I have... played around with some AU stuff for him in my spare time and the conclusion I have come to is that I think he would try to avoid asking for Yuu to help him in his plan to destroy magic. He wouldn't want them to be implicated, and his plan is a sort of personal penance for his inability to save his brother. The idea that someone would want to help him, let alone someone as perfect as Yuu, isn't really something that would cross his mind. Besides, I don't think he would trust Yuu to help him immediately, he doesn't know them all that well at the start of GloMas.
Mental health tends not to be something focused on in isekai stories. I do think that our limited choices (i agree it is fittingly symbolic) have shown a Yuu who is slowly starting to feel the lack of control they have over their situation and are starting to feel stress over it. Ace says that he wants Yuu to be able to go home, as does Deuce, but I do think they both would be equally as happy if Yuu got to stay. They enjoy their friendship and love them a lot, if the story happened in more of a vacuum I could see both Ace and Deuce picking up on Yuu needing the extra support, but with how many things have happened over our school year they haven't had much time to sit and think to themselves about... much of anything really. But that doesn't exclude Yuu from feelings of loneliness or isolation; some of the most painful types of both is when you are surrounded to people and yet still feel unable to scream.
As for Malleus... well these aren't Diasomnia spoilers but if I understand his platinum jacket card correctly he can't stand seeing other people be happy when he isn't so. If Yuu were genuinely happy in Fleur City and he was left alone... oh he'd be so unhappy about that he would be beyond crushed.
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reposting one i read on reddit that got removed but i just need to know what tumblr thinks:
AITA for finishing in my girlfriend during the full moon, thinking it was not possible for her to be fertile?
I know the title sounds weird, but I promise this isn't a shitpost, metaphor, or a joke. I (20M) was raised by a single dad, never knew my mom who left me as a baby, and growing up I didn't really have many female (or male, tbh) friends.
The reason I say this is that I don't know all that much about female anatomy; yes, I had sex ed in school, but seriously don't remember anything except "wear a condom", basically.
I met my girlfriend "Beth" (21F) in college and she's the best. It's my first relationship, her second. We've been together for a little more than a year now, and had sex for the first time about half a year ago. After the first couple times, Beth told me that she has a really regular and average period that she's been keeping track of with an app since she was literally 14, plus in the last few years she also started taking her temperature to get even more accurate results; I didn't understand exactly how this works, but she was so reassuring and confident I didn't question it.
Ok, now this is where I might start sounding like an idiot... So she told me her period is an extremely regular 28 days, and she has literally only strayed from this pattern once since she was 14. I also am aware that moon cycles are 28 days. (Correction here: since this incident, I Googled and it's actually about 29 days... but that's besides the point I guess.)
Women tend to be associated with the moon, like Artemis; I truly, deeply believed that the moon phases and all women's menstrual cycles were inherently connected, but just like, different women had their more fertile days with full moons whereas for some it corresponds to a different moon phase, like the new moon, and this is why women differed.
So the reason Beth told me about her period being super regular is that she was confident she knew when she was or was not fertile, and told me she wanted me to finish in her on safe days. We've been having sex like this for the last four months where she tells me the window of time she's safe, she's happy, I'm happy, it's working fine.
I started noticing that the moon tends to be really full and bright every time we have unprotected sex, maybe not necessarily always on a "true" full moon, but definitely around that time. I made a mental note that my girlfriend is a "fertile during a new moon (when you can't see the moon)" sort of girl. If you're wondering why I never just outright asked her about this, it just seemed really obvious to me and I didn't see the point in talking to her about something potentially a little embarrassing for no reason.
June 3rd was the most recent true full moon, and I decided to sort of surprise her by inviting her to my apartment and just pouncing on her wordlessly as soon as she came in. She was into it, we had sex, I finished inside her, she didn't complain or stop me at all.
While cooling off, she remarked that she didn't remember telling me about her safe days in a while, so I must be tracking her period, which she actually thought was sweet lol. I said, "well of course it's a safe day, the moon is so bright". She asked me what I meant, and I said something like "I know you can't possibly get pregnant during a full moon".
She seemed really confused and started getting a bit tense, questioning me more, and I, also confused, started explaining to her about the moon cycle thing I fully believed up until that moment.
This is where she freaked out completely, jumped up and asked me if I was a complete moron. She started yelling at me and freaking out about how insane and irresponsible I was for finishing in her. I was truly shocked I had no idea what to say, especially because it WAS still truly a safe day, but she actually just grabbed her stuff and stormed off before I could do anything.
Well, after she left I googled a bunch of stuff and yep, turns out I'm completely incorrect. That being said, it WAS still a safe day for Beth and she wasn't actually upset about me finishing in her or anything, just the reason I did, I guess. So, AITA?
So generally I don't want to rerun posts from reddit unless it's your own story, but we'll make an exception just this once
What are these acronyms?
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markrosewater · 2 months
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Echoing what that other guy said, I have felt a rise in complexity recently. With so many new cards that not only make you read and remember what they do, but what the tokens they make do, then what the tokens that that token makes does, it really adds to the mental load. Some examples would be Ring Tempts You, daybound/nightbound, initiative, Venture into the dungeon, stickers, attractions, and many more.
For instance, had a vindicate, and was debating between killing Frodo, sauron’s bane and Nahar, selfless paladin, I would have to read a total of 6 cards. Each of the original creatures, plus the 3 dungeons and the Ring card. And this problem gets worse the more effects you add on, many of which don’t go away as the game continues. If someone introduces the initiative, I now have to worry about nahar exploring the underdark. This scaling complexity as the game continues now means there’s an insane amount layers of the game, which while fun, is also very daunting, and somewhat of a headache.
If nothing else, I’d really like if “reading the card explains the card” was true, not “reading the card, then the three different extra cards that it makes explains the card”
I do appreciate your listening, and generally a lot of the new stuff has been cool. However, this push for many “outside the game” mechanics is not great for paper play, and I would prefer less of it.
Here's the core problem. A huge part of Magic is that we keep making new cards. When we do that, the audience wants new mechanics. (Market research shows again and again that one of the biggest draws to new sets is new mechanics.) We're thirty years in. We've made a *lot* of mechanics, so we have to go to new spaces to make new things. It's not as if there's lots of simple, elegant, non-complex design space that we're actively choosing not to do.
What this means is if you want to play constructed formats that don't rotate, complexity will rise with time. There's literally no way around this. Every new card we create, every new mechanic we make, every set we put out adds complexity to the system.
So if you're finding the mental load too much, there are ways to play Magic where this isn't an issue. Limited formats and rotating constructed formats limit complexity. Or you can choose to build your decks such that you focus on less mechanics you have to track.
That said, I don't think there's a way for me to do my job (aka keep designing new things) that isn't going to raise complexity. We can look at how many things we add to any one set. Maybe slow down the rise in complexity a little. But can we do so in a way that the audience is getting what they want? I'm not sure.
One of the mechanics I get asked most to bring back is mutate, and that's confusing even without the rest of Magic, so there are many forces pulling in different directions.
I do like hearing the specific things that cause you all problems, because it's possible I can figure out the style of designs that cause people problems. But the idea that we just stop making mechanics that reference things not on the card is a tough one given where Magic design technology is currently at.
I do appreciate all the input, and I hope the dialogue helps me better understand what specific things are causing problems.
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lollytea · 1 year
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hunter baby fever haver so true. guy who is mentally furnishing a nursery before even having his own place. baby name book addict. hes comparing & crossreferencing BI & earth names as soon as children start to be a possibility
Fr I don't think he even particularly cared about kids at all until a certain point. Like his lukewarm reaction to little Philip in Hollow Mind, before he actually realized who he was? He was all like "Hm. Yes. That certainly is. A Child."
But then he starts his apprenticeship under Dell and suddenly he's exposed to kids every day. And he's put into situations where he needs to talk to them and understand them because it helps with the palisman carving process. And he was pretty awkward at first cuz he has barely had any interaction with children before this (King was the only child he knew, who happens to be very mature for his age) and kids are weird and bizarre and unpredictable and Hunter is a little out of his depth. But he gradually get accustomed to it and even warms up to being around them, even finding them endearing. So at that point he's like "Hmmm....maybe....maybe I'd like kids one day. Maybe....."
But then, but then, but THEN!!! But then he's at work one day and somebody lets him hold their baby and its all fucking over for him. It awakens the beast. He's not normal anymore. How can he possibly be normal??? How??? How can he continue to exist and live an indifferent life when babies are so fucking SMALL?????? WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!! And then it just gets worse and worse and worse over time. He gets more and more comfortable with kids. He holds more babies. Now he's just insane about it.
And the thing is. Hunter knows he and Willow are too young for a baby. He knows neither are emotionally mature enough. He knows they still have so much growing up to do. He KNOWS okay he knows. So he's not begging for a baby. He has no intention of trying to have a baby right now. But that doesn't stop him from being in AGONY over the fact that it's gonna be several years before he can have a baby. His primal instincts are like. WANNA HOLD BABY!!! WANNA SQUISH BABY!!!! WANNA SMOOCH BABY!!!!!
Man is sighing wistfully over little baby clothes at the market and Willow's kicking herself for leaving him unattended cuz now he's gonna be in one of those moods tonight where he's whispering potential baby names in her ear when they're cuddling and she's had ENOUGH of it. She already wakes up every morning to twelve video links from Hunter of toddlers eating lemons and making funny faces or some shit because its usually in the middle of the night when his fever is the most potent.
Willow wants kids one day too. But she's also in very deep in her Flyer Derby thing. So while Hunter's idea of having children is the aftermath, Willow's mind immediately goes to the pregnancy part. And like. She has no intention of taking a pause from her athlete life yet. She's thriving.
Tho in fairness she does think it's kinda funny just how much of a menace Hunter is over this. He's just. Listen. If Hunter was never supposed to be a father, fate wouldn't land him with so many hobbies that could be utilized for future fatherhood.
An avid bookworm with an insanitable curiosity? He's 19 years old and reading parenting books for fun.
A tailor? He can sew, knit and embroider. He can MAKE little baby hats and mittens and booties and blankets. He'd probably be so excited to do so actually.
Woodcarver? He can build little wooden baby toys. He can make a mobile with little dangling palismen. He can build the goddamn crib itself and carve patterns into it of all of his and Willow's favourite flowers.
Like. He's spent a decade preparing. He's gonna be so ready when the time comes. But also you know that when the time DOES finally come and Willow tells him the exciting news, Hunter's euphoric celebration lasts for a total of four and a half minutes before he's like "Oh Titan....oh Titan, Willow, what if I'm a horrible father?"
He's a mess of a man.
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horde-princess · 11 months
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Nimona's origin story - or lack of one - is so important to me. like first she lies to you, then there's a weird metaphor that may or may not have anything to do with her, then finally at the very end there's a real flashback which clarifies. almost nothing?? EXCEPT perhaps it leads you away from the possibility that she's being possessed. personally my thinking is that she was born as a "regular" shapeshifter and became this colossal monster after she was "lab-modified." but i can't say that with any confidence, maybe the monster was part of her all along and the trauma just brought it out. maybe nimona herself doesn't know.
as frustrating as it felt to read at times, the ambiguity is the whole point. it's a commentary on how society (specifically christianity) will look at something it doesn't understand and try to stuff it into boxes it just doesn't fit in.
the whole "gloreth's beast" metaphor is so insane to me because it confuses you as the reader and makes you wonder if maybe nimona IS actually this satanic creature, or possessed by him. despite all your good intentions and your fondness for nimona as a character, there's a part of you which wonders if it might be true, because the author himself is implying it to you. it's only at the end that nate hints otherwise but still he leaves it up to the audience to wrestle with their own interpretation of what they've just read. i don't think i figured it out until the part where it says nimona's parents believed a monster had taken the place of their daughter.. i was like oohhhh i see what you did there
i've heard it said that nimona is a commentary on how society views lgbt+ people as a threat and i do think that sums it up nicely but. it's a story about how religion views queer people as a threat, how conservative christians stay in power by labeling us as the enemy, and how they get us to internalize this queerphobia so that we lose the will to rebel against them. it's about how oppressors have no say in how people take their stolen freedom back.
ITS ABOUT bipolar disorder and mental illness!!!! and the prejudice & discrimination & outcasting this community endures, which intersects uniquely with queerphobia and is still used today to characterize being gay and trans as mental disorders, as if that somehow justifies the hatred in their minds.
it's about addressing the fear & confusion surrounding the existence of queer people - "are they born this way? are they possessed by satan? are they mentally ill? are they a product of childhood trauma?" and Nimona is essentially like, sure. all of the above. or none of them. who cares? i'm here and i'm a human being - you don't have to understand me to treat me like one.
idk how/if the nimona movie plans to handle the ambiguity of her origin but its so so important i hope they're able to honor the spirit of it 😭🙏
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blue-grama · 21 days
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A little Film/Jam requeim
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Upon the news that these two are not planning any projects together in the future, I was pondering Thai actor pairings and why I liked this particular one. First let me say I'm very in favor of actors not getting joined at the hip forever -- I doubt that's why anyone gets into acting, and while I get the financial reasons this happens in Thai entertainment, I'm generally in agreement that it tends to limit creativity, since the brand often has to come before the story. My only gripe is that now they're off doing lakorns that will never get subbed in English and it's not fair and look, I need to see The Empress of Ayodhaya ok?? I don't think it's a bad thing to have actors with great chemistry appear together in multiple shows, however, and I wanna say that I think these two used that opportunity right. Look, we have Tian:
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Utter cinammon roll, too pure for this world, total sweetheart. He's a little scared and a lot beaten down, but he still has a burning spark of respect for himself that he doesn't let extinguish. He spends 73% of this show in the throes of a mental breakdown but still manages to take control of his narrative in the end. It's actively insane that the murder glitter show has such fantastic characters.
And then you have Charn, who is...
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... also beaten down by this world, but evil about it. It's all manipulation, manwhoring, and complicated smiles belaying his real feelings with this guy. Refreshingly, he only has to reform himself a little bit to get his happy ending.
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Meanwhile, Jiu. Assassin, kind of a tsundere. Marshmallow center, obviously. I'll never be over how after he and Tian first had sex (under the influence of a beetle fungus, OBVIOUSLY), he got deeply hurt that Tian said it was a mistake and accused Tian of doing this to all the boys. Possibly my favorite Jiu moment. ANYWAY.
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There isn't as much distance between Jiu and Tinn as there is between Tian and Charn (from what I've seen, Jam maybe doesn't have quite as much range as Film, or at least hasn't been asked to demonstrate it). But Tinn is a more open and straightforward character, the moral center of Laws of Attraction versus a guy who assassinates several people with scissors without remorse in Khun Chai.
Point is, we don't always get this with repeated actor pairings. A lot of the time, you have an underlying dynamic that comes through in all the pair's shows, and it can't wander too far from its origins - I was thinking about this specifically with regards to Only Friends after listening to this excellent debut of the Part 5 (of 4) podcast, which talks about the way Force's Top turned into a completely flat character, possibly because "interesting" would conflict with the whole True Love ForceBook dynamic that GMMTV needs to sell. An appealing dynamic can be great -- hey, I read fanfic, I get the joy of putting the same guy in situations -- but I really liked how Film and Jam went with/were given quite different characters in their two projects together. This could be a lakorn vs. BL thing, but it'd be cool to see more paired actors take on more disparate roles together!
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My disappointment over no more shows from these two comes down to wishing I could see what else they might pull off. Jam as the rich jerk instead of Film? Both of them playing morally grey? It could have been fun.
Oh well; I'll just be over here lighting candles for English subs from One31, because at least this hot murderous royalty nonsense looks exquisite.
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And if you've read this far, please feel free to drop me recs in the tags or comments of other pairs that have played really different roles or dynamics with each other. I love seeing actors show their range!
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genericpuff · 4 months
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Hi! Maybe this is a difficult question with no answer, but as a fan of Rekindled who might want to start their own comic, what do you suggest to avoid burnout? Do you start wiht writting the script right away, you doodle a bit,..? Thanks for reading, I love how you draw big noses, makes me more comfy with mine!
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no fr my dark secret is that i've been experiencing burnout with my main original project that I've spent the last decade working on for literally a year now. this isn't the first long hiatus i've taken, the longest one i've ever been on has lasted two years, and it's undoubtedly not the last i'll experience because the lump of salt and fat and tissue that is my brain often overworks itself into exhaustion like a big dummy
rekindled has been my reprieve from the burnout. it has been my vacation from years of working on the same project, meeting the same deadlines, drawing the same characters, over and over and over again since before i was in college.
if there's anything working on rekindled has made clear to me, it's that i'm still capable of drawing comics. the comic-making isn't the problem. it's just that when you work on the same project for years and trap yourself in an uphill battle, eventually your climbing gear is bound to break.
if there's another thing that rekindled has opened my eyes to, it's the insanity that i put myself through prior to rekindled that led to my burnout in the first place.
i get people telling me that they couldn't imagine doing what i do, that even before i had my assistant helping me out, i was still able to put out 30-40 panel updates every week.
but before that, i was putting out 70-90 panel episodes of my original work. every week. full color. full spread action scenes. no assistant. very little financial gain aside from a couple patrons on patreon and one dedicated viewer on twitch, which i was also streaming on 2-3 times a week.
and now that i've been working on rekindled and even finding myself often crunched for time with that, i have zero clue, no idea, a complete lack of comprehension of how i pulled off 70-90 panels a week for months on end. there's a reason it resulted in burnout and i know that now. this comparison is not for the sake of a flex - this comparison is to make it clear that much of what i do isn't the norm and isn't exactly a healthy standard. case in point, i sneezed while sweeping up yesterday morning and it caused a muscle strain in my lower back/hips and i've been working out of my bed since, i'm in a lot of pain and it might mean i don't make any money this week if it's not better by the time i have to do my appointments at my day job on thursday. my need to create my personal passion projects is often at odds with my bad habits of not taking care of myself 。゜゜(´O`) ゜゜。
when it comes to tackling burnout, your guess is as good as mine. really it just comes down to rest. when burnout - real, true burnout - hits, it's not just "man i'm bored of working on this", it's "i can't even think of looking at this thing let alone working on it", it's basically akin to depression and it's an awful thing that i wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy (even with Rachel, I don't want to psychoanalyze her mental health but it does seem like she's possibly been experiencing burnout with LO for years now and that really sucks for her if that's true). so the solution is just as complicated as the cause, it's not something that you can just rest from for a week and come back from, it takes real long-term healing.
when I found my way out of that 2 year hiatus, it was in spring of 2019 and I decided to just work on a random comic page that wasn't even in the comic I was working on. and then suddenly it was like a switch flicked back into the on position and i didn't even finish what i was working on, i just went back to my original project and i kept working on it until it was finally finished at the end of 2021. as suddenly and randomly as it had set in, it was gone. but i can't just do the same thing this time, it just doesn't work that way.
that said, through all this, i've learned that my need to create is not restricted to any one tangible thing, i'm not doomed or designed to stick with the same words, the same faces, the same ideas until the end of time. while i do try to keep up healthy routines for myself to ensure i'm looking out for my future self and their deadlines and their upload schedules, sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants. and in my case, the heart wanted to take a break from the self-reflective psychological analysis dark fantasy weebo stuff and just draw some pink and blue characters a little less ugly. the self-reflective weebo shit will still be there when i'm done with the pink and blue stuff, and i'll surely have loads of new things to unpack through it once i return.
there are still times when i'm working on rekindled and i'm feeling the creeping hand of my routine destruction digging its claws into my back. the reality is that 30-40 panels is still a lot for someone like myself who's doing this entirely for free, but my definition of normal for a while was so insanely inhumane that even what's still considered a lot by most people's standards feels sane and normal to me after what i put myself through.
i've learned to be more gentle with myself, and to loosen my own expectations of what i'm capable of to ensure i don't do anything like that to myself, by myself, again. i give myself room to create without expectations or the pressure of eyes watching when i can, and i remind myself that even if burnout rears its head again, and again, and again, the will to create is not gone. it's just tired, and resting, and growing, and healing as i am.
anyways that turned into a self-reflective essay post, to answer your question about making stuff ahead of time, i find that's more helpful with just like, planning out a structured story (so you don't write yourself into a corner) but whether or not it helps with burnout kind of depends. because it can just as also easily be the cause of the problem because constantly seeing the stuff you wanna be drawing so far away can be just as much of a morale killer as a motivator. some of the stuff i'm super psyched to write and draw with time gate is years away and that timeline grows longer the more the burnout goes on which makes the struggle feel even more overwhelming and pointless and defeating. so plan ahead, but keep it all within your means if you can. i find what works for me is planning out just general beat-to-beat plot structures (to ensure i at least have a plot skeleton going on so i know where i'm going) then i leave the finer details to when the actual episode i've planned gets closer to fruition and i can get myself in the headspace to write it fully.
also remember that just because you're really excited and motivated to work on your comic doesn't mean you should work yourself into exhaustion - it's a good thing if you're going through the mundane of your daily routine and the whole time you're hyped af to work on your hobby/personal project/etc. because that's what will keep you moving forward, so don't spend all that hype in one place by working and working and working until you're exhausted, because that hype is REALLY hard to get back after you've spent it all.
long post over! hope that helps! best of luck in your projects! ( ´ ∀ `)ノ~ ♡
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cookiesupplier · 11 days
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Every Rose Has Its Thorns - Part Thirty-Eight
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pairing: Ricky Olson x ofc x Chris 'Motionless' Cerulli
warnings/tropes: slow burn, soulmates, strangers to enemies to lovers, betrayal, angst, fluff, smut, language, online bullying, panic attacks, stalking, mental health issues, conspiracy theories.
summary: In a world where soulmates inexplicably receive a tattoo that will match that of their soulmate the moment they turn eighteen years old, being famous and covered in very visible tattoos can make finding your true soulmate a questionable fate. For everyone involved.
author’s note: I'm struggling with my health, so motivation and writers block is hitting me, but, trying to keep up a little, enjoy!
To read from the beginning, check out the Masterlist Here!
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tags: @tearfallpixie @cncohshit @jordynyingling0219 @faceless-mirror @nyxthedestroyerofworlds @wild-child-7747 @witchyweeb34 @black-damask1999 @jilliemiw86 @ilovesamkiszka @lyschko666 @lacktoesandtoddlerants @bngurngheart @collapsedglasshouses @laurpartyprogram @sunsshinesunny @malerieee @talialovesmiw @shilohrosechicken @thatchickwiththecamera @tamtam-elizabeth
Tag List is Open, please let me know if you would like to be added to it or in general.
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What the hell was happening?!?
Chris was staring at his phone and trying not to freak out. Breath, just breath. What was he going to tall Ricky and Talia? This, this was, this was… what the hell was this? Let's be real, he didn’t know what to tell Ricky and Talia because he had no idea what the fuck this was himself! It wasn’t just beyond confusing. It was insane! Forget about not using that word because of the sensitive issue about the fact both Talia and himself had been committed, he had been trying to be careful about saying, thinking it.. But push come to shove, right now, this felt utterly insane. A man he had been getting to know for years, that he had had intense philosophical conversations with, conversations that changed how he saw the soulmate bonds completely at times, just seemed to completely, what.. What the fuck?
Nothing made sense about what had just happened. Micah wouldn’t have turned on him, because that was what it felt like, Micah turning on him almost, somehow, just, a little bit. Or was that all in his head, was he over thinking this? Was, was he just imagining things here? Was he paranoid in that phone call because of the changes with his tattoo and reading too much in what had just happened? Maybe Micah was having a bad day. Still, what was wrong, what was happening? Why couldn’t he call that number anymore, this was all just so very, deranged.
“Hey Chris, have you heard back from that scientist guy yet? Because I was just think-”
Rick walking into the kitchen he stopped in his tracks taking one look at him, maybe it was the look on his face, or the fact he had been in the middle of making his lunch and had stopped cold, and it was all out on the counter forgotten. Something very unlike Chris. Leaving food out and risking it spoiling when he had to deal with enough finding decent vegan food in the past, and literally taught himself to cook to make his own, Chris didn’t just randomly leave food out. Ricky knew that, everyone that knew Chris well enough knew that.
“Okay, what’s wrong?”
Shit shit shit.. But honestly, Rick already had second thoughts about the scientists with his insistence on the testing elements, that much was obvious, and was getting the worst feeling now.. What was he supposed to say to him? Chris looking over at him after a moment, he swallowed, he didn’t know what to say, what could he say, that the hope he had for some answers had just gone down the drain.
Yes, they could wait and see if these tattoos could work themselves out on their own, but what if they didn’t? Would they be living with these effects for the rest of their lives? How would that work, at any moment it could affect them. Any moment, after what Ricky said he’d felt just from Chris kissing Talia, imagine Talia being in the middle of a tattoo and feeling him kissing Ricky out of the blue. That could have massive ramifications for her, and her client. 
“I, ah, heard from Micah, my scientist fr- guy.”
He wasn’t sure, were they friends right now, it made him feel sick to question it, when Chris trusted someone enough to call them his friend, it took a lot these days after everything. So to question it now, that hurt, and he hated himself just a little bit for it.
“Oh yeah? I'm guessing, from the look on your face, the news wasn’t great.”
Chris frowned, his brow furrowed slightly as he stared at Ricky for a moment, trying to figure out what to say, how to explain that conversation when he didn’t even know he could explain it to himself. So he decided to just say that, he didn’t know.
“I don’t know what it was. He got, cagey.”
“Cagey? What do you mean?”
Chris sighed, back to how to explain, start from the top he guessed.
“Well, I didn’t want to tell him about Talia, or you, because I didn’t want to risk anyone getting pulled into anything, so I spun a story about random soulmate stupid theories, and started sprouting off different random theories. All different ones, bits and pieces from other theories Rick, throwing this one into the mix. I didn’t even mention tattoos causing strange sensations, just changing, after, well, a soulmate died. Instantly this guy I’ve been talking to for years, that I’ve sent Christmas cards to, even birthday cards to his kids, starts getting fucking weird and cagey.” As he explained it, Chris went from being worried to actually being annoyed. Because, what the hell, what was going on?!
“Considering I was sufficiently freaked out by the time he was asking me if it was my tattoo that was changing, there was absolutely no way I was telling him, I hesitated. I might as well have screamed yes at the top of my lungs, of course.”
“Of course.”
“Now I feel completely fucked because then it got even creepier when he goes.”
Chris imitates a low raspy faux villian voice, they both know how good he is at changing his voice, it sounded nothing like Micah, but that was not the point of why he was using it. He just wanted to be anything but himself right then.
“Chris, whatever you do, don’t call this number again, I’ll be in touch. and then just hangs the hell up. What Ricky, what? Next thing I know, you're walking in. I trusted this man, what, what am I supposed to do, what if, shit, what if there is some conspiracy-”
“Hey, I’m the conspiracy-nut here, leave that job to me.”
Chris couldn’t help rolling his eyes at that with a scoff.
“This isn’t the time to joke Rick, I’m scared, my tattoo is changing, and someone I thought I could trust to ultimately listen and help me figure out what is happening to me eventually just-”
“Hey, hey,”
Swallowing, feeling Ricky’s hand on his arm.
“You know, whatever happens, I’m not going anywhere.”
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Ricky squeezed his fingers around Chris’ arm. There was no way he was going to walk away from Chris dealing with this, not now, not ever, not even if Talia wanted to go home. She might be his original soulmate, but Chris was his best friend, and he’d already been through hell and back. Besides, while he couldn’t guarantee it, not by a long shot, he didn’t think Talia was the kind of person that would just talk away. Not if Chris really needed her. Yes, it was just a tattoo to most people, but theirs was affecting them on an entirely different level, he was sure if anyone could appreciate that, Talia could after what they’d already gone through. What she’d already been through. Considering Talia for that matter, 
“Would you like me to call Talia, we can disc-”
Before he even finished what he was saying, just thinking that they could talk about what they wanted to do from here, Chris’ phone suddenly alerted them to a message, causing the taller man to startle out of nowhere. They were really going to have to do something about Chris stress level. He had always been a perfectionist, but he was not dealing with any of this very well, and Ricky was starting to get worried about him going over the edge from all of this.
“For the love of-”
Waiting while Chris checked the message, a groan coming from the man.
“Well, that’s just the icing on the cake, look at this.”
Chris practically shoved his phone over to Ricky for him to take.
“It’s a message, from Micah, it's an unknown number, but that’s how he signs off all his texts.”
“Okay.”
Well, that, was curious. Considering the only part of the message that made any sense whatsoever was the end where Micah had signed it off according to Chris, it was interesting to say the least. The rest was some kind of jargon, the entire thing was written in some kind of code, letters, numbers, and for the life of him, there was something familiar about it. 
“Do you have a notepad and pen anywhere?”
Rick wanted to write this message long hand so he could work it out other than on the tiny little screen of the phone. Obviously, it had to be something that Micah thought that Chris might be able to figure out, or at least, hoped he would be able to find a way to be able to. If he wanted him to at all. Chris could be right, it could be a conspiracy, this could just be a wild goose chase that they were about to be sent on. There might be every chance that Ricky was about to jump down the rabbit hole pointlessly, or, alternatively, Chris had a friend that was trying to actually help him, and was honestly trying to warn him away. Ricky, while had been very pessimistic lately for Chris’ sake, was willing to hope on the latter.
At the very least, he wanted to know what this damn message meant.
Even if it was just a rabbit hole.
With Chris handing over a pen and notebook, Ricky sat down at the kitchen table while the singer went back to work on finishing making lunch, only this time he set to making something for both of them. Ricky sat there, muttering to himself over the numbers, and letters, working through the different combinations, and possibilities, and while he could be going online to look up different cyphers for codes, he didn’t want to risk it. This wasn’t some random puzzle, this was Chris’ life, this was their life, and if he couldn’t figure it out, then what was the point of the code at all?
Having finished their lunch, and multiple cups of coffee, Ricky was looking at Chris suddenly, blinking…
“Could it be that simple?”
Murmuring to himself, and ripped yet another piece of paper from the notebook and scrunched it up and tossed it to the bin.
He missed.
Again.
The utterance however seemed to have gotten Chris’ attention, looking up from his phone that he had been looking over. Ricky hadn’t been paying attention to what the other had been doing, just engrossed in the message.
“What is it?”
“Just a minute.”
Ricky was already scribbling away furiously on the fresh page of the notepad, a whole new set of the figures as he glanced back to the code that he’d written out cleanly still beside him on the table. So far it was working, so far, the new page, it was making sense. So far, it really was that simple, and he was kicking himself for having not considered it before. Of course, Micah being a scientist, he’d gone for that side for, idiot. Sighing, he shouldn’t have been focusing on the science, he should have been thinking like Chris, like himself, like a musician.
“He has sent instructions, basically, buy a burner phone, call this number, and only call it at a certain time of day.” Ricky flipped the paper around so that Chris could read what the message had said,
“And a warning, not to talk to anyone else about your tattoo changing.”
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Looking down at the scrawled message on the paper. So Micah was trying to help him, that, terrified him even more, that someone out there could be out to get him. Maybe not just him, but what if they came for Talia and Rick too for being connected to him now? 
“Shit.”
Reading over the message that Micah sent for him, so he guessed he was going to have to go buy a burner phone. 
“Looks like I’ve got a trip to the store ahead of me.”
Glancing at his watch,
“And about an hour before the first chance to call, I’m going to go now.”
He was not going to waste time. Chris wanted to find out what the hell was going on here, why Micah had suddenly started freaking out on him, otherwise he was going to be a mess all night and he knew it.
“I don’t think I can handle another day of spy games.”
Standing up from the table, he didn’t trust just sending someone else to grab a phone for him when it came to this. Chris swallowed as he glanced at Rick when he immediately followed suit, standing right alongside him.
“I’m coming with you. Don’t look at me like that, Talia is safe at Vinny’s, and if anyone is at risk from whatever the hell could be going on, on the other end of that phone call, it's mostly you, Chris. So I’m not letting you out of my sight until we know what's happening.”
Chris sighed,
“Alright, but I’m driving, Road Kill.”
Smirking as Ricky rolled his eyes, he was never letting that go.
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Dividers by @saradika-graphics
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blu3haw4 · 2 months
Text
Sneak Peek
I've been saying for this Clexaweek, I'll try to write for last year themes as I make my way updating my WIP's.
I have a headache that's killing me, so instead of posting the full chapter for today's update, i'll give you a sneak peek of what I have so far, this is probably like... less than half of the entire chapter I have planned out and I'm keeping the plot point to myself 😌
So here it is, For day three: Fake dating
Guess we'll have to work it out (Arranged Marrige from Clexaweek 2022)
Here's a little summary:
Clarke and Lexa live in a relatively small town and are forced to get married after Clarke's mother caught them hooking up. The problem? It was a one-night stand and they know nothing about each other.
And here you go, happy Clexaweek everyone, this one is spicy 😈
"Are you insane?!"
"I will be good for you, honey. Don't act like it's the first time I've picked your date for these events"
"Mom! Don't you realized how different this is?! Are you aware that the shit you pulled is some next level stalkery?!" Clarke exasperated into the phone, she had gone out to grab lunch and as usual called her mom for their weekly updates.
She was still trying to process the events of Saturday morning and her mother not having an ounce of touch when it came to social manners. Clarke had decided, though still shaken, to let it go and move one, that was until Abby brought up the gala and her recently arranged date. And all the trouble she went through to make it happen.
"Oh don't be dramatic. I've known Agustus for years, this is no difference to the Desai"
'Gustus' Clarke corrected in her head, because of course she remember such a stupid detail "I had never met Ryker before!" she hissed, because she knew how to pick her battles "I never hooked up with him before!"
Her mom tasked on her phone and Clarke almost snapped "Look, darling, I have a surgery soon, okay? I have Lexa's number and I think you should call her, you know is not as simple as showing up, so maybe arrange a date to get your stories straight" Clarke couldn't believe her mother, she was just handing out instructions as though it was a gift, something for her to be thankful of, for having such a thoughtful mother.
It shouldn't surprise her anymore, but it felt like each time Clarke thought Abby had reach a limit of craziness she just went and outdid herself, as thought it was her mission to prove to Clarke she could be worse and then act as thought every other parent -or person- acted the same.
Clarke took a couple of deep breath trying to come up with a coherent thought that wasn't finding a way to put her mother in a mental hospital and keep her there until she died. At her lack of response Abby spoke again "Sweetie you know the drill, this galas are just to help you showcase your name with a pretty and successful young adult in your arm. This people have expectations of what success looks like and you know showing up with your friends isn't it"
And of course it was true, most of the millionaires and billionaires that showed up at hospital gala's went there under the disguise of wanting to help, to share their grant of salt for the sake of medicine and people's well being. In reality they were there to inflate their egos even more, to have successful people of all ages kiss their asses to convince them to help their cause. They're expectations were for those people to have their lives figured out, to have a life plan that they could prize themself in supporting with donations, being single didn't fit their parameters.
So of course it was Clarke's braking point; in her own way, her mother was just trying to show her how much she cared. Her entire life she had gone above and beyond to support her; her passions and dreams, she paid for all her education only asking for her happiness in return. Even if often she pulled up crazy things like inviting her one-night-stand to a very elite event, or calling her ex boyfriends to ask why they had dumped her, she always had the best of intentions.
With a sigh, Clarke agreed "Okay. Can you text me her number? I'll call her soon and I'll coach her for Sunday"
∞·∞·∞
"Fuck! Don't stop!"
And for the third time in the past two hours Clarke thanked her past self for agreeing to her mother's crazy idea. Feeling Lexa's walls shudder around three of her fingers, hearing her breath fasten by the minute as her moan grew louder and louder, more desperate each thrust of Clarke hips.
Lexa was face down on the bed, her leg parted so wide that her hips were barely lifted from the bed, Clarke had a hand trapped between their bodies, her hips helping her trust deep into Lexa's cunt, as her other hand had come around Lexa's abdomen to tease her clit. Clarke was fully leaning over Lexa's back, nibbling and licking at her shoulders and neck, occasionally sharing a desperate messy kiss before Lexa's moans interrupted them. Lexa had a hand on Clarke's wrist keeping her hand from wandering away from her clit, and her other arm was stretch towards the headboard where she occasionally held from.
A call on Tuesday afternoon -because she needed a whole day to prepare- lead to a coffee date on Thursday. They rode off the indicial awkwardness and got down to business -no pun intended- Clarke explained to Lexa as best she could all the things they should prepare for and they planned out some fact about a fake relationship should people potentially ask them.
One flirty joke about their hypothetical sex life turned into a round of back and forth about their night together and before they knew it they were making out in the elevator up to Lexa's apartment. Neither cared that it was a weeknight when Clarke unbuttoned her shirt and Lexa helped her out of her bra, they couldn’t be bother about noise complaints when Clarke got down on her knees after backing Lexa to the nearest wall and devoured her as though it was her last meal.
Lexa didn't let her catch her breath before she had her pinned to the couch getting fingered down with a vigor that had Clarke wishing she hadn't left her strap on at her ex-girlfriends' place, never to be seen again. They made it to Lexa's room by common agreement that they needed more space and now here they were, making Clarke wish she still had the strap on for a different reason.
"Clarke! FUCK!"
All she could do was smirk into her shoulder and continue her rhythm, she knew Lexa wanted - needed- more; faster, harder, anything, but she wanted to stretch the moment, Lexa felt too good around her finger, under her, she was so vocal and loud and Clarke loved it. She also wanted to see how long it would take for Lexa to beg, or if she would refuse to. In the end it was Clarke the one who gave up, not realized how much she craved to hear and feel Lexa come for her, she quicken the pace of her fingers over Lexa's clit as she thrust harder into her, grunting into Lexa's back.
"Cla-rke!" the guttural moan with which Lexa came was everything Clarke wished for and she couldn't help but smile a genuine smile into Lexa's shoulder. Clarke kissed the ink on her spine as she helped her ride down her orgasm; she moved her hand grabbing Lexa's in the way, and made sure to pull out slowly, only after Lexa's breathing was back to normal -or close enough- holding her close, Clarke turned them so she was laying behind Lexa and spooning her.
Lexa sighed, eyes closed, her fingers intertwined with Clarke's, one pair of hands around her middle and the other up against her shoulder, her head resting over Clarke's bicep, her nose hiding in the underside of Clarke's flexed elbow. She felt safe, if was a feeling that should unsettle her given she had met Clarke less than a week ago and this was the second time they were seen each other. She embraced it instead, for once in her life letting her guard down.
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