#( baby baby * hanbyul )
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After the Applause (Ch. 5)
Header and linebreaks by @awrkives
Single Dad Jimin x Female OC
SUMMARY: Jimin doesn't know how he would have made it this far after the shattering of his world without the support of his thoughtful, generous, helpful neighbor. Hanbyul has lived next to hottie Jimin and his adorable daughter for years now, long enough to remember the wife he was so devoted to and lost far too young. With each safely ensconced on their side of the brick wall of the Parks' grief, it will take an enterprising little scientist to set the stage for a second chance at love.
CW/tags: grief, prior loss of spouse/parent, comfort, explicit sex, secondhand embarrassment, sort of love triangle/web/rat's nest, fluff, cursing, dating apps, fuckboy friends, dancer Jimin, stubborn dad Jimin, stubborn pre-teen daughter, miscommunication, pining
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“So now you’re ghosting him.”
“No! I’m not ghosting anyone,” Hanbyul insisted, burying her face in the shredded throw pillow on the couch. Despite Hudu’s lifelong grudge against all throw pillows, she bought new ones every time her family came to visit in an effort to make her place look nice, only for him to shred them within days.
“You had sex with him and then you never talked to him again.”
“It’s only been a few days!” Hanbyul defended. “He’s only messaged me once.”
“Because he’s waiting for you to respond because clearly he abides by the proper messaging etiquette. And before you even say that he took a week before, didn’t his mom die or something?”
“She didn’t die, she was just in the hospital… I have family too. I’ll just say you had the baby…”
She could practically see her sister’s aggrieved sigh as she snarked, “Yes, lying, great foundation for a relationship.”
“But I can’t have a relationship with him.”
“Why not? Jimin’s not waiting for you.”
“Ugh why are sisters such….” Hanbyul trailed off, not wanting to actually call her a bitch even jokingly but perfectly happy to let her sister fill in the blanks. Leave it to Sobyul to take nothing away from Hanbyul’s whole sordid tale except he’s great at sex and loves his mom? Lock it down.
“I’m just honest because I love you. So Kim Namjoon and Park Jimin know each other, so what? They don’t seem to be close friends anyway, so what does it matter? And even if they were, there’s nothing between you and Jimin that you need to protect. He’s not your boyfriend or your ex, he’s your neighbor.”
“Correct, but it still feels… weird.”
“Nobody knows about your crush but me. It’s not like they know by looking at you. Crushes come and go. You’ll get over it. It’s not a reason not to pursue something with Kim Namjoon, who you do like, right?”
“I… do…” Hanbyul rolled onto her back. And then onto her front. And then onto her back again, restless and uncomfortable. She didn’t know how to explain any of this. She didn’t want to make herself look even more pathetic to Sobyul by admitting that she thought her feelings for Jimin ran much deeper than a crush. She didn’t want to make her sister realize she was stupid for not being so sure about her feelings about Namjoon. He was objectively an amazing guy, but was she really into him? Or was she just lonely? Or desperate to fall for someone who wasn’t Jimin, who actually had an interest in her. That sounded awful! But even worse, she couldn’t bring herself to voice that naive little dream: what if Jimin changed his mind about me and did care about me someday? Would he date someone who had dated his friend?
She was mortified by her own thought, and yet she couldn’t let go of it. At least she ought to mention to Jimin she was seeing a friend of his, right? As a courtesy? But then she ought to also mention she and Jungkook still talked in the app sometimes. Just sporadically. And that when she’d run into Taehyung on her way taking Hudu out yesterday he’d walked her for a little bit. To get a coffee, actually. Which he had insisted on paying for.
No, she knew she didn’t need to disclose these things. Maybe a secret part of her wanted to, wanted to see if Jimin would be bothered. If he cared at all.
But he wouldn’t. It wasn’t fear of rejection that kept her from admitting it, because rejection was a certainty; it was that she didn’t want reality to squash the fantasy once and for all.
“Just tell him,” Sobyul said, as if she’d been reading Hanbyul’s mind.
“About Namjoon?”
“Tell Jimin that you have feelings for him, and see what he says,” Sobyul insisted. “It’s the only way you’ll ever know.”
Hanbyul felt that familiar pang of horror at the idea, but slightly dulled this time. Rather than making her want to hide under the bed, this time it made her grit her teeth. Yeah, she would know then, wouldn’t she. There would be no more mystery. No more hope. No more guilt. And if he didn’t, she was free to date any of his friends, right? He might feel weird about it for her to move onto his friend, but whatever, it wouldn’t be his business anyway, right? If he was a gentleman, he wouldn’t mention her confession to his friends. He would admit it maybe someday in the far distant future. As they confessed all their remaining secrets the night before their wedding or something.
Unless he thought she was being creepy and only dating them to be close to him…
“Why does something like this have to happen to me?” Hanbyul sighed. “Why can’t it just be easy?”
“Should have fallen in love with someone else.”
“I didn’t say I was in love,” Hanbyul stammered out as her sister just laughed and then groaned and shifted the conversation into a rundown of her pregnancy symptoms. As if she wanted to dangle in Hanbyul’s face this path she might never have. Namjoon’s profile had said directly that he wasn’t interested in having children. Hanbyul loved children, but was not so set on it that it would be a dealbreaker not to, so it hadn’t stopped her from answering his message.
Although maybe that was only because she had Sun-young in her life. While she was in no way a mother to Sun-young, the girl was so precious to her, maybe it fulfilled some of that for her. It also made her realize how incapable she would be as a mother. How did anyone figure out how to raise a child?! If she didn’t ever have children, she wouldn’t need to. But maybe she did want them, and someday when Jimin met someone and Sun-young didn’t need Hanbyul so much, maybe then she would regret if she had chosen a relationship that wouldn’t provide the opportunity. It all felt so unknown. She knew she adored Sun-young, but a child of her own in a life she couldn’t imagine just seemed… fake and unimportant.
She ended the call with Sobyul not long after and flopped her arms and legs further askew on the sofa to really wallow. Did she really want children or was she just trying to find ways in which Namjoon wasn’t right for her so as not to confront the possibility that Namjoon was great and her only real reason not to continue dating him was due to her unreciprocated feelings for Jimin?
Hudu lifted his paws to the side of the couch and slapped at her arm, whining.
“I already fed you,” Hanbyul sighed. He did it again, not the bells that meant he needed to go outside, he just wanted attention or food or treats. “Go get your toy. I’ll tug. Go on.” He whined again and she began to think he could actually understand her conversation with Sobyul or read her mind and was trying to drag her out of her own wallowing.
A knock at the door made her think instead that he had predictive powers. Hanbyul sighed and pushed up from the couch. She needed to go grocery shopping anyway and if it was someone she didn’t want to deal with, she could use that as an honest excuse. She wasn’t great at lying otherwise, which made her whole situation that much more dire!
Sun-young waited on the other side of the door, her little face eagerly upturned as she begged, “Can I stay with you today?”
“What’s going on? Sure, but I do need to go grocery shopping. Want to come along?”
“Ok, can you ask Appa? He doesn’t know I snuck over here.”
“Sun-young, you’re going to get me in trouble,” Hanbyul teased, but let Hudu slip around her so they all walked together back to the Park apartment. Jimin seemed to have just realized Sun-young was gone. His panic shifted to relief and then apparent frustration in the span of a second at the sight of Hanbyul and she wasn’t sure what to make of it.
“Sunnie, you can’t keep inviting yourself over to Hanbyul’s place. She has a life of her own.”
“It’s ok. I don’t mind if she tags along today, I’m just grocery shopping.”
“My friend Jungkook was supposed to take her all day but he had something come up this morning, so she’s going to hang out at the studio with me until he can get her.” Jimin turned away and Hanbyul could see the stress squeezing his shoulders as he gathered things into his bag. Hanbyul wondered if Jungkook’s delay came from partying a little too hard at the concert he went to last night; he had mentioned the show to her in one of their casual chats but he hadn’t invited her and if she was supposed to invite herself, she had missed the memo. It wasn’t very admirable if he’d been supposed to take Sun-young and had to bail because he was hungover.
“Ok…” Hanbyul said slowly, because she didn’t want to undermine Jimin’s plan but she also really didn’t mind. She tried to convey this with her expression, but he just tilted his head and looked concerned. “Um…” She glanced at Sun-young, then went close to Jimin and whispered, “I don’t want to interfere, but I really don’t mind having her with me. Jungkook could pick her up from my place later.” When she glanced over her shoulder, Sun-young was a painting of someone pretending not to know what was going on, meaning Hanbyul’s whisper had not been quiet enough.
Only as Jimin responded did she realize she had remained uncomfortably close to him and shifted quickly away. It might have looked like a small jump.
“I don’t want to keep taking advantage of your generosity. You don’t have to keep babysitting my daughter. Or at least let me pay you.”
“I’m not a babysitter and I don’t want to be paid,” Hanbyul argued. “I’ll put her to work. She can earn her keep by helping me with my groceries.”
Sun-young nodded eagerly and agreed, “I don’t mind helping!”
Jimin caved with a sigh, “All right, fine. But this is the last time, and I’ll buy you dinner in exchange. Is it ok for me to give Jungkook your number so he can meet up with you later?”
“Yes, sure, of course,” Hanbyul nodded because for a moment his offer to buy her dinner had trailed across her field of vision in a bolder, italicized font.
Except he didn’t mean for a date.
And just as quickly, she realized that Jimin giving her number to Jungkook might prompt his friend to off-handedly mention they’d been talking on a dating app, and she didn’t want to look like she’d been hiding it, so awkwardly she blurted out, “I’ve met him. I mean, we talk sometimes.”
Jimin froze, obviously confused.
“I thought you didn’t know him?”
“Since I said that. I mean, I don’t know him well, we’ve just talked a few times. A week. I mean, sometimes we talk about… things.” Good, Hanbyul, really normal. Sobyul would be shaking her by the shoulders if she could see this.
“Oh. You mean here in the building? Or… you already have his number?”
“I don’t have his number,” she clarified, but didn’t stop herself in time. “We just message on a dating app we’re both on.”
“Oh.”
“It’s just casual. Casual conversation, I mean. But we haven’t traded numbers…”
“Um… ok… you know what, maybe I’ll just come back to check on Sunnie and I can hand her over myself, I should be able to take a break around that time.”
“That seems like a lot of trouble. It’s not a problem for him to get her from my place.”
“Ok, yeah,” Jimin nodded, equally as amenable to this, like they were both trying to politely open the door for the other one and no one would walk through the door. “I’ll tell him. And I’ll tell you when I know what time, maybe like two? Or maybe I’ll be able to swing back. I’ll let you know either way. Or maybe he’ll message you directly, I don’t know.”
“Ok, but it’s really fine either way.”
Sun-young suddenly took Hanbyul’s arm and said pointedly, “Bye, Appa. See you tonight.” Hanbyul let herself be pulled from the apartment, but made it to her door before realizing Hudu hadn’t followed them. Jimin came not far behind, bags over his shoulder and Hudu in his arms.
“I wish I could take him to my dance clinic today,” Jimin laughed. He already seemed more relaxed. He accepted several kisses from Hudu, handed him over, and waved at Sun-young, who gave her appa a big hug since she’d won.
Hanbyul still didn’t understand whether Jungkook was going to call her or just show up or if Jimin was going to insist on coming for some reason. It seemed clear he was surprised to learn she and Jungkook had been talking on a dating app and the fears Hanbyul had that Jimin would feel betrayed or upset about it grew larger. But he didn’t have a right to be against it, so he must just have been surprised? It wasn’t like she was dating Jungkook! But she had gone on four dates and slept with Namjoon… The coffee with Taehyung hadn’t been a date though… right?!
As soon as her door closed, Sun-young slid her backpack off and said with all the gravitas of a child of Park Jimin, “It’s time, unnie. I need your help.”
Jimin teetered sideways in his chair, laughing so hard his chest ached. The guilty party –Taehyung– sipped his water and tried to play it cool as the rest of the table crumbled around them. Yoongi covered his face, Young-geul rubbing his back and wiping her eyes. Jungkook showed off the roof of his mouth, head thrown back. Namjoon pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head and tried to play it cool while Seokjin slapped both their knees. Hoseok curled up, bright smile swallowing his face.
And Sun-young sat on her knees in her chair and demanded, “What is it? What’s so funny? Tell me!”
“No no no.”
“Ah, when you’re older…”
“It’s just a joke about babies,” Jimin assured her. “You’ll get it after the baby is born.”
Sun-young pouted, playfully annoyed at being left out, but not for long. She leaned against Young-geul’s arm and asked her if she could feel the baby kick yet, even though that was months away. Yoongi and Young-geul’s announcement had brought everyone together at the noodle house tonight, closed early for the ad hoc celebration. Even if she didn’t understand most of the jokes, Sun-young was happiest of all, the sweet sunshine princess basking in the attention from her uncles and aunt while also openly thrilled about “not being the only kid soon.”
“Maybe more of you should have babies,” she said, crossing her arms and quirking her eyebrow in a way that felt too grown up as she looked around the table. It set them all off again.
“Jiminie, your daughter is bullying me,” Jungkook laughed. “Just because I’m not married!”
“You aren’t married because you date too much!” Sun-young said. It didn’t actually make sense, and probably she didn’t really understand what she was saying anyways, but it succeeded in getting the laughs she’d been angling for. Jimin couldn’t believe he’d made such a funny kid. She was really in rare form tonight. He didn’t think she’d been in this good a mood in… well, he couldn’t remember since when, except for the concert.
“When did your daughter turn into an ajumma?!” Seokjin laughed. “No, don’t look at me, you hellion! Don’t come for me next! I have a serious girlfriend, she’s just working right now!”
“I haven’t met her yet so is she real?” Sun-young demanded. Seokjin crumpled into laughter, insisting she was real, he promised.
Her eyes slid over Namjoon next and he defended, “Me too! I’m sort of seeing someone! But I’m not going to have kids, Sunnie-girl, I’m just happy to be an uncle. Who could ever compare to you?”
Sun-young was pleased by this and stopped bullying her uncles, which of course Jimin would never have interfered with. At moments like these, he felt less terrible about his choices as a father, because whatever mistakes he might make, Sun-young actually was surrounded by love. The loss of her mother was grievous and maybe he was cruel to not let his parents have more of a hand in raising her, maybe having a bunch of his player, unmarried friends around all the time as her uncles wasn’t the traditional way you raised a daughter, but she was so immensely loved, and she knew it.
“So this someone you’re seeing…” Taehyung prodded Namjoon and wiggled his eyebrows. Jimin was curious too; none of them had heard of Namjoon dating someone.
Immediately he clammed up and waved them off, “It’s early, it’s not serious or anything yet. She’s nice but, you know, I’m not in a rush to get anywhere and she works a lot too so it’s just– oh, actually, she lives in your building, Jimin.”
“Really? What floor?” Jimin asked, mostly to be polite, because it was a pretty large building. But actually he did know a lot of the residents, at least in passing, because he tried to always be polite and friendly to the people who lived around him, so maybe he did know her.
He didn’t get his answer though, because Jungkook had so urgently needed to show Taehyung something on his phone that he knocked a drink over, the Cola forming a river across the table around the boulders of their bowls and plates.
“Wha, what are you doing that for?”
“Hey, are you a kid?”
“Hey, I’m a kid and I didn’t spill anything!” Sun-young defended. “How embarrassing, Uncle!”
“Sorry, sorry, I’m so sorry,” Jungkook laughed, not looking very sorry about it as Taehyung read something on his phone. Jimin desperately wanted to know what it was; clearly something not ok for Sunnie’s ears because Taehyung laughed and passed it to Hoseok, who passed it to Jimin, and slowly it made the rounds.
[dan]: hey had a great time at the concert last week but I left something at taehyung’s but I don’t have his number
Hoseok seemed to know what it was because he was laughing but Jimin’s mouthed question “what did she leave??” just had Jungkook and Taehyung both gesturing that they’d tell him later. Something naughty. Jimin laughed but felt a twinge of envy. Sexcapades. Oh, to have them. Not that he wanted to actually re-enter the dating world and meet people and do that whole thing. But the two of them, Namjoon, Hoseok, they all did what they wanted, when they wanted to. Were they young for their 30s or was he so old?
He wasn’t being totally fair. He knew they’d each gone through their own heartaches and crushed dreams. He’d heard the drunk confessions when he and Subin were so happy, how they envied him his wife and child and stable home. Taehyung had been engaged and she had not given back the ring he’d spent a year’s savings on. Hoseok’s divorce had been rough and not even a little amicable. Jungkook seemed to have permanently given up on serious relationships after discovering his long-time girlfriend’s long-time infidelity. Namjoon seemed to waver on whether he wanted anything serious or liked independence more, but ten years ago he’d been so serious with a guy that Jimin and Subin had taken bets on whether they’d come back from their Seychelles vacation married. Instead they’d come back separated and Namjoon never had given the details of what happened, at least not to Jimin.
Selfishly, Jimin was thrilled Yoongi and Young-geul were having a baby. For so long, he’d been alone as the parent of the group. He looked forward to giving smug advice and compassionate support as they navigated those brutal first years together. He hoped he could enjoy it through them and not feel renewed grief at the partner no longer with him, at the ache of those hazy memories of a time when they’d been young and exhausted and happy beyond belief.
Now said cause of that exhaustion rocked in her chair and giggled at Taehyung spelling something out, pretending she wouldn’t be able to understand it.
“I can spell,” she cried. “I’m very smart!”
“Oh yeah? What am I spelling? F-O-W-V-N-E-T-R–”
“That’s not even a word.”
Jimin grinned at the close way Yoongi and Young-geul watched Sun-young, obviously now envisioning their own futures more clearly. He was happy for them.
But it was also getting on closer to bedtime, and so as much as he loathed to break up the family dinner, he needed to get Sun-young home so she’d have time to do her homework and get some solid sleep before another week. Who knew what new battles would arise? Jimin was already tired. He’d eaten too many noodles. Happiness let him set down his burdens for a moment and it was hard to pull them back up. He didn’t want to.
Sun-young remained the source of all energy as she hugged everyone goodbye, and skipped along beside Jimin for the first few minutes of the walk home. But her energy seemed to drain the closer they got to home, and Jimin could practically feel the storm brewing. He didn’t know if it was better to ask her if something was up or just wait for her to speak first. He hoped she was dreading homework now, or maybe just sad the fun dinner had ended.
“A new baby in the family is going to be fun, huh?” he asked as they entered the building.
“Do you want more babies?”
“Uh…”
“I mean did you want more than just me.”
“I never thought more about it,” Jimin mentioned. “You were so perfect, I hadn’t thought about a second child yet.”
“Did Eomma want more?”
Jimin felt the question like a jab in his chest but answered evenly, “Maybe. We hadn’t decided.” The answer was too cruel to confess right now: yes, Subin had wanted another, and they had only just begun to talk about it when…
Jimin figured those thoughts were the source of Sun-young’s tamer movements as they arrived home and slid into their evening activities. Jimin had the boring part of his dance studio to address: checking and confirming schedules for the next month, looking through any flags from the accountant since he farmed that work out now, familiarizing himself with the overall breakdown of last quarters’ finances. He had tomorrow morning to get it done but it would be nice to get ahead, especially since Sun-young would be working on her own homework anyway.
They set up their work stations at the kitchen table, which Jimin thought was sweet because lately Sun-young took her homework to the desk in her room and only emerged if she needed help with something. Begrudgingly.
He hadn’t even opened the calendar software on his laptop before Sun-young stood from her chair, spun her school laptop to face him, and cleared her throat.
“You need help?” he asked. Maybe he wasn’t going to get any of his own work done tonight after all. The way they taught math now had changed and nothing made him feel stupider than having to figure out this new math way and teach her to get the same answer he could have gotten without a thought using his own method.
Sun-young pointed to the laptop, where the bright purple screen had white text that read: Science & Your Daughter, Why You Should Allow the Pursuit.
Jimin stayed very still except for his gaze sliding to Sun-young. She swallowed, clearly nervous, and pressed a button on a small black clicker in her hand. The slide advanced.
“10 Facts about Women in STEM,” Sun-young read out loud, her voice wavering nervously. “One: STEM stands for Science Technology Engineering and Mathematics.”
“Yes, thank you.”
“Two: About 30% of scientists in the whole world are women and most of them are in life sciences. The higher you go in achievement, the fewer women there are. This is because science fields and the patriarchy make it hard for women to feel welcome or like they can advance in a career like this. Do you want to be like that?”
Jimin bit back his bemused grin and asked, “Do you know what the patriarchy is?”
“It’s a system of oppression where men are the standard and women are inferior and mainly good for having babies and taking care of the house.”
Jimin’s eyebrows raised and his lips pursed, because he had not taught his daughter that, and now felt a deep guilt that he probably should be talking to his daughter about patriarchy.
“Who gave you that definition?”
“Please save your questions for the end,” Sun-young said and this time Jimin had to press his hand to his mouth to keep from laughing. But it wasn’t at her. The desire to laugh came from a deep churning mixture of pride and awe.
“Three: A study in the United States in the 90s showed that around middle school girls start to think boys are more intelligent than they are. The study thinks this is because boys show better uh… spatial… um, the ability to like, look at and learn about objects. This is because little boys are encouraged to build and climb and break things, while little girls are encouraged to play with dolls or play house. And to dance.”
She waited. That was clearly supposed to be a big beat. Jimin nodded to show he was listening.
The rest of the ten facts were not necessarily anything he didn’t know, about the numbers of women in Korea dropping out of STEM programs, the fact that programs were underfunded especially at co-ed schools, and a slide listing famous female scientists and their achievements. Marie Skłodowska-Curie, Chien-Shiung Wu, Ada Lovelace, Katherine Johnson internationally. Cho Yoon-kyoung, J. Sook Chung, Kwang Hwa-Chung, and more, domestically. Jimin was embarrassed to admit he didn’t know any of the names except Marie Curie. When he asked why her name was different, Sun-young excitedly told her that it was better to use her whole name “because of something about Poland and where she came from or something… I don’t know, it’s history, we’re here to talk about science, Appa.”
“How long is this presentation?” he asked when she clicked to the next slide: Science In My Life.
“Shhh,” she shushed him, and then walked him through a few slides with more pictures than text. Pictures of children in a science classroom, or at a science fair. “The science club meets twice a week after the final bell to learn more about different types of science and to do experiments. There’s also a science fair in the autumn where we can do projects to compete for prizes. We don’t have much money to buy the materials for our science experiments and there’s also a science summer camp that we want to do but not everyone can afford it and we don’t want anyone to miss out so we need to raise money for that. I had a lot of ideas and there’s a meeting with parents this week to decide which one to do.”
Jimin opened his mouth because he thought that was the point Sun-young wanted to discuss, but she continued to the next slide, a picture of her and her friend Boyeon posing in the classroom with their arms around each other and a bunch of rocks on the table in front of them.
“I want to be in the science class because I like science. It’s all about asking questions and finding out the answers. Sometimes nobody in the whole world even knows the answers yet, or sometimes we thought we knew the answers but then someone else discovers a new thing and it changes everything,” she explained and Jimin watched with amazement at the passion that poured from his daughter’s mouth. “I like how science teaches you how to find out the things you don’t know. It makes it less scary not to know things.”
“What about the things that no one knows? Like… are there aliens?” Jimin asked. He immediately regretted the teasing, but it was because his mind was overwhelmed right now.
“Well maybe I’ll be the one to figure it out!” Sun-young fired back and Jimin couldn’t stop the automatic nod. Yes. His daughter could be capable of something like that, he could see it now.
“What kind of science do you like?” he asked, even though she’d told him to hold questions until the end.
“I don’t know. I like rocks,” she admitted. “But I like the reactions too.”
“Chemistry?”
“Yeah, seeing how when you combine things they make something else or do something else. The volcano was really cool. But space is cool too. And so are animals and dinosaurs. That’s called um… paleontology. I don’t know what kind of science I like the best but that’s why it’s a good idea to let me do science club now because I can explore a lot of things and then I’ll know what I want to do as I get older.”
Jimin nodded with this, almost feeling like he was having an actual adult conversation with his daughter, and pointed out, “But that’s exactly my concern. You’re young to already make major life decisions. You’ve worked so hard at dance. If you quit now, you’ll be behind if you change your mind.”
Sun-young clicked to the next slide: What about dance? Jimin laughed, he couldn’t help it, and Sun-young gave him a more confident smile.
“As you can see on this slide, Science Club meets on Tuesdays and Thursdays. That would mean I can’t make it to my ballet class and my hiphop class.”
“You wanted to take that hiphop class.”
“But Uncle Hobi teaches the same hiphop class on Wednesdays.”
“Which is when you have your progressing ballet technique class.”
“I don’t want to do ballet,” she said, pointing to the bullet that said this on the slide. “It’s my least favorite dance and it takes the most time. Auntie Young-geul is a great teacher and that’s why I’ve enjoyed my ballet classes at all but I know it’s not the style for me. I don’t want to be good at ballet. I do like hiphop, and my jazz class is ok too.”
Jimin listened to this. It wasn’t a surprise to him though. He was the one who had pushed Sun-young to take the advanced ballet class, and she’d done it because she liked to be good at things, and she liked to make him proud, but he’d known for a long time her heart wasn’t really in it. Ballet would be the hardest one to catch up in if she changed her mind, and there would come a point where she wouldn’t be able to, she would miss the physical changes that ballet wrought in dancers before puberty. Her turnouts would never be quite as good, her flexibility would be slightly behind, no matter how hard she worked. That had been exactly Subin’s regret about ballet. She had started too late to ever be great, as much as she loved it, as beautiful as Jimin knew she’d danced it.
At the same time, ballet required so much. Those same physical changes that made dancers beautiful to watch left them with aches and pains behind the scenes. It required such massive physical commitment to succeed, and here was Sun-young saying not for the first time that it was not what she wanted for her life or her body.
Jimin felt his eyes prickle with tears. Sun-young was still so young, but wasn’t she old enough to make some decisions like that for herself? She sounded so mature right now. So certain. Jimin wanted what was best for her, but how could he tell her she had to do this, and in ten years, twenty, she’d still be unhappy and in pain, all because he wouldn’t listen to her when she was nine?
“Hoseok teaches the same hiphop class on Wednesdays and Thursdays,” Jimin pointed out. “If you dropped the PBT class, you could do hiphop Wednesday instead.”
Sun-young’s mouth dropped open and her eyes lit up. It was impossible to miss.
“Isn’t that what you were proposing with this powerpoint?”
Sun-young clicked to the last slide, which read Time for discussion and collaboration.
“Unnie said the best results are when we work together,” Sun-young explained, and slid into her chair like he was relieved to be through the presentation. “Do you think he’d let me switch to the other class?”
“I do… Are you asking to quit all dance or just ballet?” Jimin asked, slow and careful in an effort to really hear her this time.
“I want to do science most of all. That’s Tuesdays and Thursdays and sometimes the weekend. But if I have a science thing on Saturday then you don’t have to worry about me at all while you’re working. And the summer camp. But you don’t have to pay for camp, that’s why we’ll do the fundraiser too!���
“And dance…?”
“I like dance and I like that I tried a lot of different kinds. I like hiphop the most, and jazz is fun. I don’t really care about tap or ballet. But it’s like a science experiment where I got to try a bunch and work really hard at them and learn what I like,” Sun-young said. “I know you’re worried I’ll regret quitting. If I keep doing a little dance, then it’s less change all at once.”
It was such a smart observation from his daughter and Jimin felt himself floating again with pride. He couldn’t say she wasn’t thinking about this, she clearly was thinking about it a lot. He was amazed, actually, by just how maturely she was thinking about these things.
“So if you did Science Club on Tuesdays and Thursdays… we’ll have to figure out a way for you to get to the dance school afterwards because I’ll be teaching my classes so I can’t pick you up after your Club. Then you do the hiphop club on Wednesday. And still jazz/tap on Friday?”
Sun-young had the air of an adult as she said, “We can try it and if it’s too much, I don’t mind dropping jazz/tap.”
“Ah, I see.”
“And I’ll still go to the studio with you all the time,” Sun-young continued. “I can do my homework there like I already do when you’re working and help clean up after your classes.”
Jimin leaned back in his chair, thoughtful. He hadn’t fully realized that part of his fear until she basically said it. It wasn’t just that science was a step away from what he knew, it was that she’d be spending less time at the dance studio too. She wouldn’t have as many or maybe any numbers in recitals. The dance studio had been the center of their family for so long, and the idea Sun-young’s world would no longer center around it –and him– was terrifying.
She might change her mind in a year or two. She might regret this. She might be angry he let her walk away.
“It sounds like you have thought about this a lot,” Jimin said.
“I did! I know it’s not a small thing to stop doing something I’ve worked so hard at. But I want to do science and I don’t want to do dance as my whole life like you do.”
“Like your eomma did too.”
Sun-young’s gaze fell to the tabletop as she answered, “I know.” Jimin felt bad to have made the comment, it was just what came into his mind. This was a connection with Subin too. That made it even harder to let Sun-young loosen it.
“You talk about rocks the same way she talked about dance,” he said to soften his accidental jab. “Your face lights up the same way, you look just like her.”
“Really?”
He nodded, “Yeah. She didn’t know anything about science or math, even less than me. She always knew she wanted to dance, even younger than I did. The only studio near her when she was a little girl was ballroom and she begged her parents to let her do it. She was really good. In middle school they let her start taking the bus to a dance studio the next village over that had ballet and jazz.”
“Do you think she’d be upset if I quit dance?” Sun-young asked, her voice so quiet and uncertain. The fire of a moment ago faded.
“No,” Jimin admitted, because he felt like it was true. Maybe the real Subin would have been, maybe she’d have had the same reaction and dilemma Jimin had. Maybe she would have a hard time letting her daughter quit the thing she herself had fought so hard for. But the Subin who, in his mind, had lived and grown with them in the years since Real Subin’s death, was full of nothing but love and support for their daughter, and she would be proud of anything Sun-young did. “I think she would be proud of you for seeing something that you want and being so insistent about it, even when I told you no. I’m proud of you for doing that.”
“Really?”
“It wasn’t right of you to sneak around or lie to me and… I’m sorry I made you feel like you had to. I can understand that science is something you really want to pursue and when you win the Nobel Peace Prize, I want you to thank me, not say that I was someone who stood in your way with the patriarchy.”
Sun-young’s smile grew. She leaned closer to him, her little hands resting on his arm.
“I worry that if I let you quit dance, you’ll regret it, and resent me later for not pushing. But I think you’ll resent me if I don’t let you pursue your interest in science too. So the choice is yours, Sunnie. If you want to quit ballet, or tap, or hiphop, or all of it. And I’ll still love you and be your appa forever, even if we don’t have dance in common–”
“Appa!” Sun-young shrieked and threw herself at him, arms around his neck, her little body fully in his lap. He realized she hadn’t done that in a long time; he couldn’t remember the last time she’d sat in his lap, but he was glad now that it hadn’t been the last time. That he hadn’t missed it. He was grateful she’d chosen that moment to hug him, so she wouldn’t see the tears that finally spilled over, overcome by the gravity of this moment in their life, in her life and whatever the future of it held, in their relationship that would hopefully forever be a big part of it.
This was going to be a big change. Change was inevitable. Maybe not all change had to be bad.
Jimin fidgeted in his seat. In a sea of business suits and trendy peacoats, his youthful ripped jeans and fuzzy-collared coat stood out, his blond hair as strange as a foreigner’s. He’d seen several askance looks in his direction from other parents. Often before that had made him feel some kind of way, to know they so quickly dismissed him. He’d had comments before, plenty, about his hair, his profession, his single father status –as if that was something he chose. Despite the front he put on about it for Sun-young so she wouldn’t grow up worried what others thought, it often did impact him beneath the surface. Sometimes it was hard to ignore the fear that they could see deeper, that maybe the distance of her classmates parents wasn’t based on appearances but because they could see his fears to be true: that he wasn’t a good father, that he didn’t know what he was doing, that he didn’t belong here with the other parents.
Today, though, he was unbothered. Sincerely. He did belong here, because Sun-young belonged here. He watched in awe as she took her turn explaining her fundraiser idea.
“I think we should do a bake sale and a science demonstration,” Sun-young explained, standing at the front of the classroom in front of all the other kids and parents in attendance. So many of the other children had mumbled, or whispered their ideas for their parents to share, or said nothing at all, but when Miss Kwan called on Sun-young she had marched right to the front of the classroom with all the confidence she had displayed on the stage at dance.
“What do you mean by demonstration?” Miss Kwan asked.
“I mean… not every kid can join the science club or maybe they don’t even know what the science club does. We could present the kinds of things we already do in Science Club or in science class but do it next to the table we’re selling things at. We can take turns leading experiments and invite people to join from the audience sometimes. That way people can eat their cookies or rice cakes while learning about the science stuff we think is so cool, and maybe they’ll realize they think it’s cool too. That’s what I think. We could even present some of the work we did in class so we don’t have to do brand new projects so it’s not too much work. That’s my idea.”
She bowed her head, then walked casually back to her seat, grinning ear to ear even before Jimin leaned down to whisper, “Your idea is amazing.”
“I know.”
Several other students and parents put forth ideas too, many of which Jimin thought were far beyond the means of a science club with only twelve members ranging from seven to ten years old. He wasn’t surprised at all when Sun-young’s idea floated to the top. She perched on the edge of her seat as students got sidetracked from the other ideas to instead brainstorm the science experiments they could do as a demonstration to fill a couple of hours for the bake sale.
“We could even sell baked things at school on a Thursday and tell people to come see the Science Demonstration and more baked goods on Friday,” Sun-young suggested. “Clubs don’t meet on Friday so people will have time.”
Jimin couldn’t say anything. He was too gob-smacked just watching his daughter take on such a forward role in this room. She’d always been a confident little girl, not shy even among adults. He supposed that came from growing up so free around adults, and maybe, he liked to think, from being used to an audience from a young age. But what he hadn’t really witnessed first hand until her powerpoint presentation was just how intelligent and thoughtful she was in an academic setting, too. Sitting beside her at this meeting in which he said nothing except to support her, Jimin felt his decision to let her choose for herself solidify.
Sun-young was only nine, and still learning and growing in many ways. But she was a smart, good girl. She was going places, and it was his job as her father to help her get there, not to direct her where he wanted her to go. She had cited all those daunting statistics about how few women worked in science and the obstacles they faced. Different obstacles than her mother had faced when she’d decided to pursue dance against her parents’ wishes and open her own dance studio, and yet similar. He had married a powerful woman and they had made a powerful daughter and Jimin choked up watching Sunnie in action. She was already so much more than he and Subin could ever have dreamed of.
After the meeting –where Sun-young’s idea was agreed on as the best fundraiser option– Miss Kwan approached Jimin while Sunnie chatted with her science club friends.
“I’m so glad Sun-young is able to join the club,” Miss Kwan told him. “She’s such a bright child and so eager to learn. As a teacher it can be hard to get the class enthusiastic about the things I need to teach them, but she’s always leaning forward and I think it’s motivating for her peers.”
Jimin had already felt emotion rising and had to blink it away quickly as he thanked her, “I’m proud to hear you say things about her like that. She’s incredible, isn’t she? I think she already knows more than I do about science subjects. I’m going to have to work to keep caught up!”
“I’m sure she appreciates your support no matter what form it takes. That’s a mark of a strong foundation at home, she’s really a testament to what a loving supportive family you have,” Miss Kwan told him. “I did want to confirm though, she did just sign you up for baked goods… and given the miscommunication before… is this all right with you?”
Jimin laughed and looked at the clipboard in Miss Kwan’s hand, where Sun-young had written: “Park Sun-young and Park Jimin, Rice cakes, we make the best.”
“She’s right,” he chuckled. “We really do. My parents own a rice cake shop. I never expected my childhood making rice cakes would raise funds for my daughter’s science club…”
Miss Kwan’s smile felt particularly bright as she remarked, “Isn’t that wonderful? We can never predict what comes next except change, but history can help us in ways we didn’t expect.”
“Don’t tell me you’re starting a history club too…”
“No no,” Miss Kwan laughed. “Teaching and science club are enough to fill my time! Not that those are the only things I do –and I do love them dearly. I do other things in my free time besides science… but history is not my strength…”
Jimin leaned in just enough to seem conspiratorial as he confessed, “Mine either. It’s mainly dance for me these days, although I do brush off my math skills when I have to run payroll.”
“Yes, Sunnie mentioned you own your dance studio. That’s… impressive.”
“An impressive amount of work,” he beamed. “Thank you.”
“Miss Kwan? Perhaps we can see the sign-up sheet…?” another parent asked. Miss Kwan apologized to both the mother and to Jimin, and left his side to show them.
The meeting otherwise over, Jimin called for Sun-young to head home. In a show of support, he had asked Hobi to cover his evening class tonight so he could attend the parent meeting. It felt strange to just head home. Almost as strange as it was to realize Sun-young didn’t fuss a bit about having to leave, or walking next to Jimin, or the way he playfully tugged on her braid.
“Your teacher said a lot of good things about you,” he told her.
“I know, I’m a really good student. She said being curious and eager is better than getting top marks.”
“Both are good,” Jimin teased. He caught Miss Kwan’s eye over Sun-young’s head as they left the room and quickly turned away. The eye contact tied him back to their discussion a few minutes before.
Was Miss Kwan flirting with him? He didn’t want to think it, ashamed that his brain thought an attractive, unmarried woman would automatically be flirting. They’d been talking about his daughter, and Miss Kwan was her teacher. But she’d also remarked on things she did outside of school… was that a hint?
Miss Kwan was young and beautiful and intelligent, all wonderful traits. She was pleasant. But he hadn’t meant to flirt back, if that’s what she thought; it hadn’t occurred to him at all to think of her as a potential date. He worried if he’d given the wrong impression. He wasn’t thinking about dating anyone right now. His daughter wanted to be a scientist and was dropping most of her dance classes after the recital. Wasn’t that enough change at once?
It felt like an overwhelming amount of change and yet he was swept up in it. Sun-young continued to talk about Science Club, now onto an experiment they were doing growing crystals with different kinds of minerals, including salt and sugar, to see what formed. It was interesting, but more interesting was listening to the way Sun-young spoke. As an experiment, he took her hand, and she did not pull it away.
Jimin felt those emotions well up again. Had all the acting out just been a symptom of Sun-young’s unhappiness? He hadn’t understood her, and so she’d pulled away, and now that he was listening she could be close again? It had taken him too long to figure it out. That was a great cause of shame to him. He hoped he was doing the right thing now. He was doing his best.
Subin would have figured it out more quickly. Subin would have listened. Miss Kwan had said Sun-young was a testament to a loving home, but was that true? He thought Sun-young was remarkable despite his fumbling. He hadn’t realized how important this was to her even though she’d directly told him.
This thought hung over his head as they wrapped the evening up at home. Sun-young did her homework without complaint and went to bed easily, with a big happy hug before he turned her overhead light off.
Once he was sure she was in for the night, Jimin sat on the sofa and cried. Too many things hit him at once: his own failings with Sun-young; the guarantee that he would fail again in the future as he struggled to navigate her adolescence; the loneliness in that; the injustice that his partner wasn’t here for it; the injustice that Sun-young didn’t have a mother to guide her; the tragedy that Subin didn’t get to see the incredible young woman her daughter was becoming.
What was wrong with him? This had been a happy day. A wonderful evening with his daughter. But suddenly old familiar grief and guilt crashed down on him and he felt like he was drowning. He was too alone. It was his own burden to bear, he couldn’t call someone about it, he wouldn’t know what to say anyway, but he felt like he was drowning in it.
Then someone knocked at the door.
***
Hanbyul wasn’t going to wait long if nobody answered the door; she knew it was late and likely Sun-young was already asleep and possibly Jimin too. They definitely would already have eaten, but she thought if she gave them the dish tonight, they would have it to heat up tomorrow. Besides, she hadn’t seen Sun-young since Saturday and knew the parent meeting had been this evening but didn’t know how the conversation between father and daughter had gone. Hanbyul might owe him a big apology for overstepping…
The door swung open and Hanbyul stiffened in surprise at the pink hue to Jimin’s face. It looked like he had just splashed water, but his eyes were red, so she was pretty sure he’d been crying. He looked like he’d been crying.
“Are you all right?” she asked, stepping forward with unbearable concern.
Jimin cleared his throat and nodded, “Yeah, yes. Just washing my face for the night.”
“Oh. Well, I won’t interrupt long, but I made extra and thought you could enjoy it tomorrow. I put instructions for how to heat it up on the post-it.”
“Ah, you didn’t have to do this,” he said but took the dish from her. “You’re too good to us.”
She grimaced and admitted, “I thought it could be something of an apology too, in case i overstepped with Sun-young…”
“Did you?”
Hanbyul froze, realizing that maybe Sun-young hadn’t actually gone through with the powerpoint after all. The hesitation must have clued Jimin in.
“Oh, you mean the powerpoint. Do you want your clicker back?”
“If you have it…” she said with another grimace. “I’m sorry if I overstepped. I had suggested before that she speak with you about it when you were both calm –about Science and dance I mean– and she asked if i could help her make a presentation like I do for work.”
Jimin motioned for her to step inside as he carried the dish to the kitchen, asking over his shoulder, “She talked to you about all this? That I was being unreasonable?”
“She didn’t say that. But she knew this was a big… change.” His hands were full, so she reached around him to open the fridge. It was distressingly empty inside. Obviously Sun-young was well fed and well cared for, but Park Jimin did not keep a well stocked refrigerator. “She wanted advice on how to show you’ve thought something through and have a discussion about it.”
“We had a discussion about it,” he nodded. “She had a well researched presentation. And now, she and I are on the hook to make rice cakes for the Science Club’s fundraiser. Which was also her idea. Both of those things. She is full of ideas, that daughter of mine.”
Hanbyul wasn’t surprised to hear that; Sun-young had told her the idea as well, asking for feedback.
She didn’t bother to hide her endeared smile as she agreed, “She’s a smart girl, Jimin. She’s really amazing.”
Jimin leaned against the counter and nodded, but looked away from her. The sniffle gave it away. He laughed as he wiped a tear from his cheek.
“She really is, isn’t she?”
“Oh. Um…” Hanbyul felt electric with panic. She hadn’t meant to make him cry, but aso guessed that if he had been crying before she came in, it wasn’t her fault. Why had he let her in then?! Now she was here though and didn’t know whether to offer to stay or offer to leave. “Um, is everything all right? Or…?”
“Sorry. I’m sorry, I…” He rubbed his forehead and gave her a helpless look. “It just hits me sometimes.”
“Was it a hard day?” Hanbyul asked, not sure what else to ask. She didn’t know what he meant by it and didn’t want to say the wrong thing.
Jimin sighed, “No. It was a great day. It would make more sense if I fell apart on a bad day, huh? We’d been having a lot of those, as you unfortunately know –but now I hear myself say that, and what the fuck is wrong with me? I want to complain about too many bad days? Subin would kill to have more bad days with us.”
Hanbyul felt her heart drop into her stomach. Maybe she ought to have guessed that by it Jimin meant grief, but he’d never really spoken to her about it before. He’d mentioned Subin, sure, and alluded to grief about losing her. But he’d never said anything so raw and vulnerable as that, nor so tragic.
“I’m so sorry,” she murmured. “It’s not fair. But it’s also ok to recognize a bad day…” She didn’t know what she was saying, and worried it was just going to be offensive. Her heart throbbed to see him so upset and she felt desperate to find the magic words to make it better, but obviously no such words existed. She couldn’t fathom the kind of loss he had endured.
He nodded, and sniffled, like he was really making the effort to hold himself together. Hanbyul wondered what he would do if she let him know it was all right not to. He could cry if he wanted. She could stay or go. He didn’t need to hide himself on her account.
“Today was a good day,” Jimin said. He swallowed, like he could shake off the bad feelings. “Sunnie and I did talk about her presentation. We agreed that she’s going to drop most of her dance classes after her recital and explore her interest in science because it’s what she wants to do. And I can’t deny her that, not when she’s so excited talking about science club, and dance is… is my thing. It was Subin’s thing. Maybe it’ll always be a part of Sunnie or maybe it won’t, but forcing her to dance won’t keep Subin here and I know Sunnie and I can find other things to connect us. I’ll make sure of it. It’s a huge change but I’m making peace with it. I can learn to make volcanoes!”
“I’m glad it went well,” Hanbyul said softly. She wanted to support. She didn’t want to interrupt. She could actually see the tears come back into his eyes, giving them an other-worldly shimmer.
“Sorry,” he laughed, sadly, and swallowed hard again. “I didn’t expect to get hit with it today but watching Sun-young and seeing how well she’s growing and changing… Someone told me that grief is like a ball in a box and there’s a button in the box, and every time the ball hits the button, you feel the grief of loss all over again. In the beginning it’s constant, there’s never a break, but over time the box gets bigger, so the ball bounces around and it doesn’t hit the button as much. But sometimes it still does, just out of nowhere.”
Hanbyul had heard that too. As far as she knew, a woman on Twitter had made the analogy, Lauren Herschel, and that the ball got smaller, not the box bigger, but she wasn’t about to correct him. The idea was the same, and she understood, even if her experiences with grief were for elderly grandparents and a pet rabbit. The grief of those had still felt like they would swallow her.
“But I don’t feel like I’m a ball in a box, I feel like… Sometimes I feel like grief is a swarm of bees inside of me. Sometimes they’re asleep but other times they’re buzzing and banging around and trying to escape, and if I even open my mouth they’ll come pouring out and I’ll just fall down, an empty husk, so I have to keep these bees inside of me even though the buzzing makes me feel like my skin is going to tear apart. But what if the grief is the only thing holding me up?”
Hanbyul’s eyes widened. It was such a tragic and visceral mental image. She didn’t know what to say, but knew her, “Woah,” wasn’t enough.
He continued anyway, “And other times grief feels like a pile of boulders rolling onto my chest, a new one with each breath, each one making it harder to draw the next. The guilt…”
“Jimin…”
He blinked and wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand.
“But who am I to complain about grief? Because I get to be here, I get to see Sunnie grow, I get to drink my coffee with milk and run through the rain and sit in a warm window, and see how my favorite dramas end. I get to stub my fucking toe on the bookcase –it’s still purple!-- and get annoyed trying to change my phone plan with a very unhelpful agent and worry about… about the weather and climate change and what planet I’m leaving my daughter to grow up in and whether it was even the right choice to have a daughter into this world and yet I can’t imagine my life without her…” He choked on his sob but the words somehow squeezed past anyway. “It’s selfish of me, isn’t it? I just grieve what I lost. I lost my wife, my first love, my partner. But Subin lost all of this, the good and the bad. And Sunnie lost her mother –and that’s not fair to her. She needs her mom, she needs her mom so much more than she needs me–”
“That’s not true,” Hanbyul said. “It’s awful she lost her mother, but the opposite wouldn’t have been any better and that’s not fair to you or her. She needs you too.”
“I know she does, I know you’re right and she does, but she shouldn’t have only gotten one of us. Every time things are hard I think about how much easier they would have been with Subin still here. I’ve spent three years now trying to accept the fact that she’s never going to be there beside me when I wake up, I’ll never fall asleep next to her again, I’ll never get a text from her asking me to grab more milk or toilet paper. I’ll never argue with her about who lost the remote, or whether a trip to Disney Tokyo is worth the money and how old Sunnie should be if we go. I won’t get to vacation with her, or see Sun-young off to college and wonder what we’ll do with ourselves– I lost my wife and I lost the future I dreamed of with her.”
“I’m so sorry, Jimin.”
“But it’s selfish. Because at the end of the day, I know I can still do those things. I can meet someone new. I’ll never stop loving Subin but she’s gone and I know there are amazing people in the world and maybe I can find that joy and love again but she can’t. Why do I care so much more about my own pain than I do about all the things she’ll never get to do?”
Hanbyul hated to see him eaten up with guilt like this. This was beyond her, but she couldn’t stand for him to berate himself for such understandable feelings.
“It’s not that you care more, you just feel your own loss. She’s not worried about those things now. She’s at peace, and maybe she’s watching you and Sun-young from somewhere else, whichever you believe.” He gave her a look she couldn’t understand, so she added, “Ok, and she’s probably pissed because it sucks. It’s not fair. All of these things can be true at the same time but I don’t think you need to hold onto guilt. You didn’t choose to lose her and if she loves you and Sun-young as much as I think she did, she would want you both to chase joy with open hearts. Even the joy of taking things for granted, or being frustrated or annoyed or happy or sad.”
“I feel like I’m starting to forget her,” Jimin admitted in the smallest, quietest, saddest voice. “The Subin I think of when something is hard –oh, she would think this, she would react that way… I don’t think it’s the real Subin anymore. Sunnie and I are growing and changing but Subin ended then and this idea I carry forward of her… it’s not her. I don’t know how she would have reacted to Sunnie wanting to give up dance. It feels like one more way we forget Subin, when I already feel guilty for thinking about… I mean, that I don’t just keep a constant vigil for her. That I’m living without her. I’m doing it even though it felt impossible three years ago. It’s another step away from the family we used to be and I know that has to happen but… it’s just…”
Hanbyul dared to reach for his hand, and hoped it wasn’t inappropriate. She hoped he didn’t read anything into it, or feel uncomfortable, this was not in any way an attempt to push her own feelings. But right now her friend was grieving and needed support and she didn’t know the words to say but hoped by holding his hand, it could help.
He looked down at their hands and nodded and let out a shallow, shaky breath, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to break down like this in front of you. It was a good day.”
“Please, it’s ok! I don’t mind at all. I’m honored that you know you can share your feelings with me. I’m honored to be here for them. I just wish I had a real way to help it not hurt so much.”
“Time,” he scoffed. “That’s all there is.” Then added, “But you do help in a real way.”
“You don’t need to reassure me–”
“No, I mean, you really do. Thank you. Thank you for being someone my daughter can talk to when her appa is struggling to listen. Thank you for helping her with the powerpoint and taking her seriously.”
“You don’t have to thank me for that.”
“I do. I can’t be everything for her, no matter how much I love her. Subin can’t be here and most of our close friends are young single guys who don’t know anything about being a girl growing up. But I shouldn’t be crying about my dead wife to you and I can’t just call you every time she has a girl question I don’t know how to answer.”
“Sure you can,” Hanbyul argued. “Why not? I’m just down the hall. She’ll probably come ask me anyway, and I’m glad.”
“It’s not your job–”
“Because it’s not a job. I love Sun-young. I’m here for whatever she needs. And whatever you need, listening or dinner to reheat or a dog to cuddle.”
“What I need…” He trailed off, and shifted his position but didn’t drop her hand. They were still standing in the quiet kitchen. Hanbyul loved kitchens. It felt like a place of safety and warmth to her. She could understand why Jimin would unburden himself in one. “I have a hard time thinking about what I need. How can I think about meeting someone new when I’m like this?”
She hadn’t realized he was thinking or talking about someone new, she had just meant what he needed as a friend, and it made her choke on her words a bit, “Like what?”
“I don’t know when the ball will hit the button. I don’t know when the bees will escape. It feels like it’ll always happen. I don’t think I’ll ever be a whole person to give to someone else,” he said.
“What does that mean, be a whole person? You’re a whole person.”
“It doesn’t feel like it. I’m… fractured. I’m missing pieces here and there.”
“Then you’ll find someone who loves you even with those missing pieces,” Hanbyul insisted. “You’re wonderful, and your grief is just a part of you because your wife will always be a part of you and Sun-young. I really don’t think you’ll have a hard time finding someone who accepts that too, when you’re ready.”
“It’s so complicated to even think about that kind of thing. If I want to open myself up to that, if Sun-young deserves someone in her life, but sometimes I’m still going to have a day of grief… I feel like I have to wait until all my grieving is over, but will that ever happen?”
“I don’t know what I’m talking about,” Hanbyul admitted. “I’m not the right person to give advice but I just think that you and Sun-young deserve to be happy, in whatever way makes you happy, and still recognize how important your wife was in your lives. I’m not saying you have to rush into dating or anything,” she said, proud of herself that she could be the kind of friend she wanted to be for Jimin as they talked about it. Her compassion for him made her invulnerable to any of her own feelings right now, those were tucked away. This wasn’t about her and she didn’t feel the need to make it about her. “I just think the heart can hold a lot of things and people at once, even love and grief. Even how wonderful your life was with your wife, and how wonderful the future with your daughter will be.”
Jimin nodded, still holding her hand, his other scratching his neck and tugging on his ear. She hoped he didn’t notice how clammy her hand was. Maybe she should separate from him and wipe it off before he noticed. Was she awful to be excited to hold his hand right now, even just in a friendly way?
He reached for her other hand and squeezed them both.
“There was a time I couldn’t even imagine having more good days than bad,” he said. “You remember me back then, I think.”
“I do.”
“And now I have more good days than bad, and I don’t spend every day crying or consumed with survivor’s guilt. I thought I knew what the future looked like, and then Subin died. But I didn’t actually know what the future held anymore than I do now. It can’t be known.”
Hanbyul nodded, following and not quite following at the same time.
“I’m lucky to be here. I’m lucky to have such an amazing daughter.” Hanbyul nodded her agreement. “And I’m lucky to have such a good friend too. Thank you.” He squeezed her hands again and then dropped them.
Hanbyul instantly flushed at the simultaneous praise and distancing. Not that she had thought he was alluding to her with his mentions of maybe finding someone, but she saw the vulnerability now as proof that he saw her as a friend and nothing more. And yet she was also flattered to be a friend now, no longer just ‘neighbor Hanbyul’. The heart could hold many feelings at once.
“You don’t have to thank me. You both are easy to love,” she assured him.
“I’m sorry my daughter and I both leaned on you in the same week–”
“Stop that.” She glared and he grinned.
“You deserve the world. Thank you for the food. I’ll bring you rice cakes when we make them.”
Hanbyul agreed that would be wonderful, and didn’t linger a moment longer as she felt Jimin needed privacy now. It was incredible he had shown her so much of his grief. Called her a friend. She was genuinely warmed by it all.
I’m not asking for the world, she thought. She ought to take the advice she had given Jimin: recognize that her feelings for him might always have their place in her heart, but she couldn’t spend her life living for someone who wasn’t able to be that for her. Hadn’t she said exactly that?
But for tonight, she could hug Hudu and feel a little sorry for herself alongside her compassion for Jimin as the ball hit the button in her own box. It was a different box than Jimin’s grief for his wife, but it was Hanbyul’s and she held it close.
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#jimin ff#jimin x oc#park jimin fanfic#dad jimin#bts fanfiction#bts fluff#jimin smut#jimin fluff#jimin fic#jimin fanfic#single dad jimin#after the applause
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if you dm me askingg, who are the fcs of the first gen of allume?
no problem! here they are from left to right!
Kunimitsu Shoo formerly of S.E.S
Lee Junghyun, soloist.
Park Hanbyul, actress.
Sato Ishiara, actress.
Lee Heejin, formerly of Baby Vox
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what are the top 5 most used apps on your phone?
“spotify, melon, youtube, all for catching up with the newest music features honestly. i like to see what other artists are coming up with. i do also watch cooking youtubers too. i’m always trying to figure out new easy recipes but honestly, it’s hard finding time nowadays, so i usually use all the other delivery apps too. i don’t have a specific delivery food app, more like a variety of 4 or 5. i know it’s obnoxious but we’ve got to do what we’ve go to do to survive when we’re on the go. that and... messaging, i guess. i prefer messaging over calls. but again, i’ll do what is required of me for the job.”
what is the most random note in the notes app?
“it’s not that random. i don’t use the notes app all that often, so you have my perfect recipe at coffee shops that i like to order. there’s two but the weirder one is... eight scoops of matcha, vanilla syrup, latte but no foam, no water, oat milk, the largest size they’ve got. but honestly, i don’t use the notes app so it’s not as interesting as what others might have to say...” he’s actually quite surprised, there’s only a total of 4 notes. “the rest of them are all ‘what i need to buy from the store’ so i don’t forget. i hate making multiple trips.”
what was the last message or call you’ve received and who was is from?
“my last call and text is from... my little brother. and it’s both a call and text because apparently i completely overslept one day, and had to rush off to where we were supposed to meet at. i usually wake up early, but lately i’ve been so exhausted. i think i might be coming down with a cold, because i have no problems waking up to my alarm. anyways, i didn’t mean to stand him up, it’s an honest mistake. we just rescheduled to meet later in the afternoon. it’s been a crazy busy season anyway with all the concerts. i should get a little slack for that.”
what were the last 5 songs that you’ve listened to?
“i’m in my big, ‘oldies but goodies’ era. not even that old, but the last decade. songs like... ‘g-dragon - butterfly’, ‘big bang - we belong together’, ‘blazing - abracadabra’, and then i jumped into the recent release from fabula. their music has a different concept this comeback, and it was unexpected but pleasant. i know you guys think that we may get spoilers because the idols are close, but i’ll be honest, i got zero spoilers and was pleasantly surprised. so far i’ve only heard ‘illusion’ and their title, ‘how you like that?’ which had a nice beat.”
what were the 5 most recent online searches?
“hahaha, don’t kill me, but my most recent search is ‘hanbyul shin dating’, for obvious reasons. i’m sure you looked it up too, don’t lie.” he opens up his searches. “i also looked up ‘most comfortable dance shoes’, because i’m looking for a new pair. i feel like my last pair has worn out through all the practice for the concerts. ‘cheap bluetooth speaker’. i want one i can bring around the entire dorm, to the practice rooms, and to the bathroom and kitchen. everywhere. i live on music. and lastly, ‘musicals near me’. i was hoping to catch newsies before they stop running, but if not, another musical too. it’s a near and dear to my heart excursion that i miss participating in, but that doesn’t mean i can’t support musicals.”
**BONUS** FOR IDOLS : what are your contact names for all of the group members?
haru - maknae
jiho - leader
it might be a bit impersonal but i feel like yushin always jokes around and calls haru the baby, and jiho their leader more than even by name, but yushin rarely puts people in his phone by name...
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plot call
ok so i’m finally here to plot for my baby jaesun. i’d love to get some non-event threads going for him but they may have to be backdated seeing as he is on tour and not in seoul at the moment ! i also have a million and one drafts saved from years ago, so i will just go ahead and drop everything except for the thread with @lgcjiho since that one was more recent. apologies for dropping the ball on the other threads but i’m always happy to start new things !
EVENT THREADS
CONCERT PREPARATION: @lgcdaeho ( happy to take on more if anyone needs )
FREE TIME: @lgcnathan and open to at least 1 OTHER LGC BOYS MEMBER
NON-EVENT THREADS
your muse needs help with a choreography sequence and seeks out jaesun for help
your muse is afraid of jaesun and always runs away when he gets close ... jaesun finally approaches your muse to ask why you always run away
jaesun catches your muse crying and being the busybody that he is, comes to ask you if you’re alright
and i’m all out of ideas but i’ll stalk some other people’s plot calls to see if other ideas might work for this kid or hanbyul
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(Jang Hanbyul) Used To This // 210115 Music Bank
#jang han byul#jang hanbyul#hanbyul#ledapple#led apple#jason jang#music bank#used to this#*gifs#ceohan#he still has such a baby face and looks the same as when performing on music shows w/ leda ;A;#he looked like an actual child tho during leda days and he's born in 1990 so he was in his early 20s then LOL#*hanbyul
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baby, baby
for all intents and purposes, minjun wanted to go ahead with the second season of babysitting services. he missed that opportunity though—found himself a bit too preoccupied that he had completely forgotten about signing up. he doesn’t want to do the same this season, although he knew he’d be rather busy this trimester already he wants to experience the fun he had last time when he was paired with king and jueun. this season seems to be slightly different though. whereas they were asked to take care of children while their parents were away, this time around they were tasked within a daycare.
whether it’d be easier or not, minjun isn’t sure. but when he hears the sounds of wailing, a sign that a child is in clear distressed, muffled by the rowdy screams and shouts of the other children playing around—he feels a growing headache. he doesn’t regret this, of course he doesn’t! he’s just chastising himself for being underprepared.
as luck would have it, he isn’t alone with this. giving ( @lgchanbyul ) a sheepish smile after they took a quick scan of they’re current predicament, minjun wonders if they’ll be able to make it out of this ordeal alive. “it’s quite... lively around here, isn’t it?” he blurts out, unsure what else to comment on. with a small sigh, he tries beckoning the crying child over to the both of them. “i wonder what happened... did someone steal your toy? come here, we can play together!” it’s a little hard talking to the child when the other kids are zooming around the room, but he tries his best.
#( baby baby * hanbyul )#{ para. }#lgc:babysittingservices#lgchanbyul#( this is.. so long overdue im so sorry omg )
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FATALE & JERICHO // the twins.
"do you think the universe fights for souls to be together? some things are too strange and too strong to be coincidences.”
born together. interwoven into each other. trusting no one. she’s overprotective, he’s codependent; the moon twins have each others backs through thick and thin.
#surprise this is why hanbyul had to be updated!!!!#baby boy got himself a twin sister who would probably literally kill someone for him#avfatale#the prettiest sibling duo i've ever seen tbh#lol i've had this made for a few hours now but waited until she was officially accepted to post it#moodboard
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youtube
[드림노트TV] 드림노트 안전문 (DreamNote "An Jeon Moon")
#miso is so kfdlksjdflsklf#nd hanbyul is babie..#lara ? beautiful talented fun .#dreamnote#even apart from these 3 theyre such a good group i love them !!!!!!!!
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Bless Hanbin for giving us so many shirtless broadcasts.
#so much torso today so much tattoo#and his room i love how he decorated it#all the hanbyul pics too ahh my heart#were those baby shoes his or hers i need to know#so lucky i checked twitter when i did since i missed the others#today is a good day#:)
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CRYSTALLIS’ ASTRID • PUBLIC PROFILE
STAGE NAME: Astrid
GROUP: Crystallis
POSITION: Main dancer, main vocal
DEBUT DATE: 22 February 2022 (Crystallis), 15 June 2020 (LGC Girls)
FANDOM NAME: ALIZE (앨리스)
BIRTH NAME: Min Soyoun
BIRTHDAY: 4 April 1997
BIRTHPLACE: Okcheon, South Korea
BLOOD TYPE: A
HEIGHT: 165cm
WEIGHT: 45kg
ZODIAC SIGN: Ox, Aries
MBTI: INFJ
COLOR: Dark Pink
EMOJI: 🌸
FAVORITE MOTTO: “Let’s get it! Skrrrt!”
RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ASTRID:
Astrid has two younger brothers.
Astrid graduated from Ewha Women’s University with a degree in Fashion Design in 2020.
Astrid’s hobbies are drawing, painting, dancing, designing clothes, Pilates, yoga, and sleeping.
Astrid’s stage name comes from the book “Crazy Rich Asians”.
Her roommates are Yura, Jasmine, and Youngwon.
Her nickname in Crystallis is “universal girlfriend” because she jokes that she’s all the members’ girlfriend.
Her celebrity friends include Fabula’s Lilly, actresses Lee Hanbyul and Shin Jieun
She can imitate Pikachu and a cat.
Astrid is a fan of BoA, DBSD’s Bae Siwoo, BLAZing’s Park Haemi and Song Hanui.
She wants to make friends with fellow celebrities born in 1997.
Astrid’s ideal type: “Someone who makes me laugh and supports me in everything I do.” Among celebrities, she likes DBSD’s Bae Siwoo
She painted Bae Siwoo for a painting competition in high school and placed in second. She gave the award-winning painting to Bae Siwoo.
APPEARANCES/PROJECTS:
IDOL CAREER:
CRYSTALLIS - DEBUT: FEBRUARY 22, 2022
LGC GIRLS - DEBUT: JUNE 15, 2020
LGC Girls
LGC Girls Japan
LGC Girls Summer
DISCOGRAPHY:
LGC Girls
Violeta
Dun Dun
Rollin’ Rollin’
Girls Gotta Live (LGC Girls Japan)
Breakthrough (LGC Girls Japan)
Crimson Dress (LGC Girls Japan)
Tiki Taka (LGC Girls Summer)
Jungle (LGC Girls Summer)
Scream (Future Dreams S4)
Can’t Stop Me (Future Dreams S4)
CRYSTALLIS
See Crystallis Discography HERE
SOLO
Villain - Bullet Inquiry OST (Opening Theme Song)
CONCERTS:
LGC Family Concert 2019
Project Origin Fanmeeting Tour - solo at Manila stop (Atlantis Princess)
LGC Family Concert 2020
LGC Family Concert 2021
LGC Family Concert 2022 (Newark, Chiba, Seoul stops)
To Alize, With Love: 2023 Crystallis Asia Tour
LGC Family Concert 2023
MUSICALS:
Project Origin: The Musical
SURVIVAL SHOWS:
Future Dreams S2 - Team Violeta
Future Dreams S4 - Team Scream
Future Dreams S6 - Mentor (Noh Areum)
TV DRAMA:
Kim Family - Lee Soyoun (Guest Role)
Search: WWW - Cha Hyeon’s senior in judo club (Guest Role)
WEB DRAMA
Cram School - Jeon Eunjoo (Guest Role)
VARIETY SHOWS
LGC Date Lottery
LGC Babysitting Services
LGC Masterchef
Knowing Bros (210117, 220319 episodes)
Sixth Sense (220415 episode)
2 Days & 1 Night (220619 - 220703, 240114 - 240128 episodes)
Running Man (220904 - 220918, 20230312 - 20230409 episodes)
Hangout with Yoo (221203 - 221217 episodes; fixed cast member 09/16/2023 - 06-24/2024)
CFS/ENDORSEMENTS:
Innisfree (Vivid Cotton Ink): - 2020-2022
Caribbean Bay: 2020-2023
Vedi Vero: 2021-2023
Timebox: 2022
8x4: 2023 - present
Hausing Company: 2023 - present
Passion5: 2023 - present
FASHION SHOW GUESTINGS:
Paris Haute Couture Fashion Week 2022
Hanacho Studio Seoul Fashion Week S/S 2023
Julien Fournié Paris Haute Couture Fashion Week F/W 2023
Maison Rabih Kayrouz Haute Couture Fashion Week 2023
V-LIVE SHOWS
100 Songs with Soyoun (Host)
House of Art (Host)
RADIO SHOWS
MBC Standard FM’s Hanwoo’s Radio (20221114 - 20221212, 20230109 - 20230211)
COMPANY EVENTS:
LGC Sports Festival 2019
Give Love 2020
Charity Day
Year-end Ceremonies 2020 (as a member of LGC Girls)
LGC Wedding Bells
Year-end Ceremonies 2021 (as a member of LGC Girls)
YOUTUBE VIDEOS:
Naughty Dance Cover (with YURA)
Baby Don’t Stop by NCT Dance Cover (with YURA)
Monster by BLAZing5 Dance Cover (with ICHIKA)
Seonny SideUp: GUEST
MAGAZINES:
Star1 July 2022: Cover + Spread
MUSIC VIDEOS:
I Wouldn’t Look For You - Kim Jaehwan
AWARDS:
2022 Melon Music Awards Best New Female Artist/Rookie of the Year (Crystallis)
2022 Melon Music Awards Top 10 Artists Award (Crystallis)
2022 MAMA Best Dance Performance Female Group (Crystallis)
2022 Korea’s Music Awards Rookie of the Year (Crystallis)
37th Golden Disc Awards Rookie of the Year (Crystallis)
2022/2023 Korea Brand Awards Female Idol Variety Star
2023 Melon Music Awards Top 15 Artists Award (Crystallis)
2023 Asia Artist Awards New Wave Artist (Crystallis)
2023 Japan Record Awards Best New Artist (Crystallis)
2023 Seoul Music Awards Dance Performance Award (Crystallis)
38th Golden Disk Awards Performance Award (Crystallis)
38th Golden Disk Awards Digital Bonsang Award (Crystallis)
NOMINATIONS (BUT DIDN’T WIN):
2023 MAMA Best OST (Villain for Bullet Inquiry)
2023 MBC Entertainment Awards Rookie Award (for Hanwoo Radio)
2023 MBC Entertainment Awards Excellence Award (for How Do You Play?)
YEAR END GOALS:
Win Rookie of the Year with Crystallis
Get a Daesang
To become a fixed cast member in a variety show
Get to show off her dancing more
Improve on her skills
Be an even better member of Crystallis
Contribute to the creative input for Crystallis (either by designing the members’ outfits, styling, or designing the MV set)
MOST MEMORABLE OR FAVORITE EVENT: Debuting with Crystallis is Astrid’s most memorable, as well as her favorite event because it’s validation that all she had given up for this dream was worth it. She had been through a lot to get to where she is now, and unlike debuting with LGC Girls, Crystallis feels more permanent, which is a lot more reassuring, considering her age. Although Future Dreams S2 is in close second, because that’s where it really all began for her.
UPDATED TO REFLECT FC CHANGE
PSD SOURCE
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4:23AM | drabble
–> Pairings: jimin x reader
–> Rating: R
–> Genre/warnings: established relationship!au; swearing; pwp basically, smut (grinding, explicit sex, exhibitionism, slight boob play, fingering, cunnilingus, oral sex – male and female receiving, cum swallowing, daddy kink, clothed sex, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms)
–> Word count: 2k
–> A/N: Happy Fathers’ Day y’all! Here’s a drabble to show some love for Daddy! Jimin~ btw, this is heavily unedited too jeezhus I just had to post this BECAUSE I FINISHED THIS JUST THIS MORNING ASFSIDFJASIF
bts m.list | navi
It’s freezing.
A shiver runs through your body, the goosepimpled skin of your legs rubbing against each other at the cold. You pull the duvet over you and the smaller person asleep beside you. Shifting your position on the bed, you turn to face your daughter, gazing at the little girl as light snores escaping her pouted lips snuggling her stuffed toy closer to her chest.
Your face crumples at the endearing sight. With a wide grin plastered on your face, you brush off a few strands of hair that had fallen across her face. She looks so much like your husband – pouty lips, round cheeks and all. As she shifts in her sleep, you see her giggle a little all the while mumbling incoherent words.
You leave your daughter be, rising from the bed and tucking your daughter under the sheets. Padding through the carpeted floor cautiously, you exit the room you’ve shared with Hanbyul for the night. As you close the door, your line of vision focuses on your husband who was currently sprawled out on the couch, back facing you as his arm is slung over the back rest and a leg dangling off the side.
There are clothes and toiletries strewn across the place, resultant of your late arrival at the hotel last night. In fact, the entire trip had been a major headache for you. If it weren’t only for Hanbyul’s excitement for her sixth birthday celebration at Tokyo Disneyland today and Jimin’s mutual enthusiasm for it, you don’t think you would have endured yesterday.
As you find Jimin’s wonderfully round ass particularly inviting, you join your husband on the couch, spooning him and looping your arms around his torso. You start planting tender kisses along his neck and across the expanse of his exposed collarbone due to the loose shirt he’s chosen to sleep in. “Mhmm…” Jimin groans against the couch, readjusting himself so he’s facing you.
Humming with delight, you let the pads of your fingers trail over his face, tracing his cheekbone down to his jawline. He’s so beautiful, even if he’s like this, half-asleep with a small grin etched on his face.
Jimin peels one eye open, blindly retrieving his phone from a nearby table and checking the time. “Baby, it’s 4:23AM. Look.” He twists the device in his palm to show you the screen, the white digits blending in with the background picture of the three of you taken during a recent holiday trip to New Zealand.
Frankly, time had never been an issue before when it came to both your private needs, but ever since Hanbyul came to your lives, you consider yourself lucky when you get at least five hours of sleep in a day. Having second thoughts, you decide that this probably wasn’t the best time for sex, so with a contented sigh, you turn your body over to the other side, letting him spoon you.
You close your eyes, letting your fatigue lull you back to sleep. Jimin pulls you closer using the arm slung over your waist until your ass meets his crotch – his rather…hard crotch. Your breath hitches.
Honestly? Fuck sleep, rest be damned.
Arching your back even more so your ass grinds against his boner, Jimin’s hands find your thighs, occasionally squeezing as they go trail irregular patterns on them. “Honey, I thought you said it was 4:23AM?”
“I know, love. But I didn’t exactly tell you stop, did I?”
Next thing you knew, you feel pillowy lips attach themselves on your neck, nipping and sucking on that sensitive spot just under your jaw. The action already has you whimpering, and Jimin takes this opportunity to let a cold hand travel under your shirt, squeezing at your breasts.
You likewise slide a hand between your bodies, grabbing at his already throbbing length underneath the confines of his sweatpants. Lust courses through your veins as you see his cock straining against the cotton of his Puma sweats, clearly wearing nothing else underneath. Ah, bless Jimin and his sleeping habits.
As you get on your knees on the floor, you adjust the faux fur rug under your knees so they won’t be too sore later. You tug on the garter of his sweatpants, Jimin lifting his hips a little so you can pull them down to his meaty thighs. Your mouth waters at the sight.
“How ‘bout we put that mouth to good use, hmm?” With one hand at the base of his shaft, he gently tap the tip of his cock on your lips, goading you to open them. “Be a good girl for daddy.”
“Yes,” you mewl, obeying in an instant. You replace his hold on his length with yours, placing kitten licks on the bulbous head. Ever so slowly, you take him in your mouth, his cock smooth yet hard and heavy on your tongue. Looking up through your eyelashes, you see your husband gazing at you intently, eyes clouded with lust.
His staring only encourages you further, taking more and more of him until he reaches the back of your throat, trying not to gag at the full feeling of your mouth enclosed on his. Jimin inhales sharply as you swallow. “Yes…fuck, baby girl, just like that.” Your pussy clenches on nothing at his words so you resort to rubbing your thighs together, hoping that the friction will help ebb your raging hormones.
It doesn’t. It never works.
You find your rhythm as you bob your head up and down his cock, swirling your tongue around his length as you do so. Jimin begins thrusting up to you as holds your hair, fingers forming a makeshift ponytail. “Shit, baby…I-“ Reaching one hand up, you take his balls into your palm and knead them sensually, making him come undone at your will. Soon enough, Jimin’s hips stutter, his cock throbbing inside your mouth.
“That’s right, swallow for me, kitten.” Rope after rope of cum travel down your throat as you comply, Jimin gently carding his fingers through your hair in praise as you milk him completely.
Jimin pulls you into his lap to kiss you feverishly, his tongue languidly moving against yours. Moaning wantonly, your hips undulate, grinding your clothed cunt against Jimin’s once-more hardening cock. “God, you’re so wet, baby. You’ve always loved sucking Daddy’s cock, don’t you?” You know he feels how drenched you are even with only the thin cloth of your boyshorts separating your sexes.
You only take your bottom lip between your teeth in approval, wanting nothing else but his cock inside you, now. Jimin coos at your evident desire, but he tells you he’s not going to fuck you until he gets to taste your pussy first.
He lays you down on the couch, tugging your underwear down, the cold air hitting your bare pussy making you shiver. Jimin’s mouth makes contact with your core, immediately assaulting you with his tongue. He slips the wet appendage through your folds and into your pussy, thrusting deeply.
Hooking his arms under your thighs, he pulls you closer to him, your cunt under constant abuse as he licks, sucks, and nips at your clit. You’re a writhing mess on the couch, cold beads of sweat starting to form on your forehead. The moment he lets a finger slip through your folds, you almost come undone, clenching all over his digits as that coil inside your stomach tightens. A fresh wave of pleasure courses through you when he adds another finger, body quaking as your orgasm hits you.
Just as you let your body fall limp on the couch, your husband places a chaste kiss on your lips, telling you that he’s not done with you just yet. Letting out a squeal in excitement, Jimin revels in your mutual eagerness, already lifting your shirt off your torso.
“No, no. Leave the shirt on.”
Swinging a leg over his lap to straddle him, you give him a reply. “Mhmm, kinky.” Jimin chortles at your comment, telling you that keeping your shirt on served another purpose, just in case your now-six-year-old daughter comes barging out of the room. You pause midway, surprised at how you totally forgot that your daughter was one door away from discovering how babies were made.
“It’s fine,” Jimin reassures you, rubbing at your thighs. He slowly guides you to bend forward for him, hands gently squeezing your waist. “It’ll be fine if you stay quiet. Can you do that for me, love?”.Placing the back of your forearms on the armrest for support, you brace yourself for Jimin’s girthy cock, ass wriggling in anticipation. As you nod your head, Jimin gets to work, grabbing hold of his cock and sliding it against your wet folds, lubricating his dick with your own essence.
“Daddy, p-please…” You’re starting to get impatient with his ministrations and before you tell him to fuck you already, Jimin plunges his cock to you in one smooth motion. You let out a loud cry at his action, eyes rolling to the back of your skull.
Your husband places a hand by your nape, bending you forward even more. This angle only allows him to sink himself deeper into your cunt so you cup a hand over your mouth, struggling to keep your moans at bay. Jimin thrusts languidly against you, each snap of his hips enough to graze the sweet spot inside.
The lewd sounds of skin slapping against skin resonates throughout the room, your cunt squelching loudly as Jimin relentlessly fucks himself into you. He bends forward in an attempt to get closer, deeper into your cunt. As he cups your clothed breasts, consecutively pinching and tweaking your hardened nipples over your…his shirt on you, Jimin maintains his pace, reveling at the sensation of your velvety walls tightly wrapped against his cock. You chase after your second orgasm, sliding a hand between your legs to play with your clit. Your elbows give in under the pleasure combined with Jimin’s weight on you. Body quaking endlessly, Jimin whispers praises by your ear, egging you to go one last time, as if to make up for the month-long drought you both had to endure.
Your husband flips you over with ease, muscles rippling as he hooks an arm over your waist, making you lie on your back. Cheeks flushed and hair a little matted with sweat, your tongue darts out to lick at your lips, delighted at the sight of your husband looking just as wrecked as you are.
Slamming into you once more, Jimin continues to toy with your clit, bringing you to another orgasm when you still haven’t properly recovered from how strong the previous one was. “Last one, baby girl. C’mon, cum one more time for daddy.” You hands find a throw pillow to hold on to for dear life, knuckles turning white as your grip tightens, just as tight as how your pussy clenches around his cock, completely milking him for all he’s got. Jimin stills as he reaches his climax, balls pressing heavily against your ass.
Your husband pulls out seconds later, breathlessly falling to your side. As you both lay there on the couch, chests heaving as you pant heavily after your climaxes. Your ears catch onto a soft thud coming from inside the room, signaling that your daughter had woken up,
“Chim, Hanbyul!”
Jumping in alarm, your husband quickly pulls his sweatpants back up just in the nick of time, while you cross your legs, pulling your shirt lower to cover the evidence of your intimacies, yours and Jimin’s cum now trailing down your thighs.
“How’s my little princess?” Jimin calls out with a smile on his face, standing to greet your daughter as Hanbyul sleepily rubs the back of her hands against her eyes. “It’s still early, darling. Why don’t you go back to sleep?” Jimin guides Hanbyul back to the room, before turning on his heel to face you. “Bath. Round 2,” your husband mouths, turning around again to lull Hanbyul back to sleep.
Despite the soreness you feel between your legs, you obey Jimin nonetheless, heading towards the bathroom with a spring on your step.
All rights reserved. hhyungz 2020
#bagtanhq#btsguild#btswritingcafe#btsgoldnet#ksmutclub#bts smut#park jimin#jimin smut#jimin x reader#bts drabbles
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SCHEDULE UPDATE
SCHEDULE TYPE: ONE TIME GIG
RESTRICTIONS: Only open to LGC GIRLS SUMMER, TYPE ZERO and V&A members
on SEPTEMBER 7, everyone from LGC GIRLS SUMMER, TYPE ZERO, and V&A are called to a meeting with KIM HYUNCHEOL. there is another staff member standing right next to hyuncheol and he lets the woman call out each individual’s name to hand them a packet containing all of the necessary information.
“i know all of you are busy with your own projects so i’ll do my best to make this as quick as possible. first thing is that i request all of you to open the folder and look through the first few pages.” hyuncheol explains while knowing that each group had their own set of schedules.
LGC GIRLS SUMMER
while the company continues to release more content about the show, it is noted that they will have to spend additional time working on their performances since all of them will be performing the following songs during this year’s family concert.
TIKI TAKA - BAEK HANNA, KOIZUMI TSUKI, LEE YEJIN, MIN SOYOUN, MOON SOMIN
BOOGIE UP - AHN JAEHWA, LEE HANBYUL, LEE MINJI, OH EUNHYE, SON NABI
ICY - GONG HYEJOO, HAN ALLIE, KIM MIA, PONGSAK ARINYA, SEO YURA
WE RIDE - GEUM DANBI, KYO MIYEON, SEO YUMI, YAMASHITA ICHIKA, YANG AERI
on SEPTEMBER 25, all of the girls except YUMI will be at the GOCHEOK SKY DOME early in the morning for rehearsals ( individuals who are participating in the special stages will be practicing there the day before as well ). during the concert, whenever the girls are not performing on stage, they will be in one of the backstage rooms watching the performances with the rest of the lgc girls summer.
TYPE ZERO AND V&A
( important note: because type zero and v&a’s missions aren’t due until SEPTEMBER 18, everything mentioned below is mostly to give everyone a sense of the timeline and ic reference. )
type zero will finish their music performances on the week of SEPTEMBER 12-18. during this time, they are required to continue practicing their title track song, “ONE (MONSTER & INFINITY)” along with “RESONANCE”, which they will practice with v&a. both type zero and v&a are also supposed to learn, practice, and record the following song, “GENIUS”, which will be one of their special stages for the LGC FAMILY CONCERT.
as for v&a, because their debut is coming soon, they will continue to practice all of their songs especially “HIGHER” ( VERSUS ), “BLUE HOUR” ( AGITO ), “RESONANCE” ( TYPE ZERO AND V&A ) since those will be the songs that they will perform in the lgc family concert. like type zero, they will be working on “GENIUS” ( SPECIAL STAGE ) as well. after the lgc family concert, v&a will release their songs on SEPTEMBER 27 and start their music promotions.
( ooc note: since the trimester change won’t be until october, please assume that v&a will be attending music shows for the next couple of days until the upcoming trimester update! )
for the LGC FAMILY CONCERT, the order of the songs will be:
HIGHER - V&A (VERSUS)
BLUE HOUR - V&A (AGITO)
ONE (MONSTER & INFINITY) - TYPE ZERO
RESONANCE - V&A AND TYPE ZERO
GENIUS - V&A AND TYPE ZERO ( SPECIAL STAGE )
during RESONANCE, there will be an introduction before the performance ( for a general idea, please refer to this video from 0:00-2:18 ). each member from type zero and v&a will form a circle and the camera will pan towards one individual at a time, followed by a line that connects the pair together. the sequence will be based on who joined legacy the latest to the earliest. for reference, that order will be:
HARU & SUBIN
ALEX & DAEYEOL
JIHO & YUSHIN
MINJUN ( NPC ) & YEONWOO
HANEUL & NATHAN
SHINHA & ISA
AKIRA & JAESUN
JAESUN will complete the order and the group will stand still as the instrumental is played. right after that, all of the lights will dim and it’ll transition to resonance playing.
during GENIUS, there will be photos and clips of the type zero and v&a members displayed on the screen for all of the fans to see. it’ll start off with their baby photos and gradually transition to their various appearances ( eg. variety shows, vlive shows, modeling gigs, etc. ) and behind the scenes ( eg. debut preparations ). at some point in the song, there will be a segment when the screen will switch to video messages and letters that were sent by their loved ones as a surprise to them. type zero and v&a members will be encouraged to turn around to look at them while singing the rest of the song.
on SEPTEMBER 25, all of the members will be at the GOCHEOK SKY DOME early in the morning for rehearsals ( individuals who are participating in the special stages will be practicing there the day before as well ). whenever one group/unit isn’t performing, they will be in one of the backstage rooms with the rest of v&a and type zero to watch the performances.
SPECIAL STAGES
before the meeting ends, the staff member calls AHN JAEHWA, AHN JAESUN, GEUM DANBI, GONG HYEJOO, JI HANEUL, KOIZUMI TSUKI, LEE YUSHIN, MIN SOYOUN, OH EUNHYE, OKAMOTO AKIRA, SEO YURA and tells them to stay in the meantime. the rest of them leave the meeting room along with hyuncheol, who has other matters to attend to.
“with the help of the coaches, we’ve selected all of you to be a part of our special stages. in the past, we usually had vocal, dance, and rap stages to showcase our artists and exceptionally talented trainees. this time around, because v&a and type zero will be our final performances, we’ve decided to include some of the lgc girls and trainees to be a part of these collaboration stages. with the way this concert is arranged, we’ve split the three stages based on the three recurring themes — past, present, and future.” the staff member regurgitates the information that was discussed with the other higher ups.
VOCAL STAGE ( AHN JAEHWA, GONG HYEJOO, JI HANEUL ): all of them will be performing “FALL AWAY” along with KANG WOOHEE, KIM HYUNBIN, and LEE SHINHAE. the vocal stage will be the first performance and during the PAST phase.
DANCE STAGE ( KYO MIYEON, MIN SOYOUN, SEO YURA ): all of them will be dancing to “CLOSER” along with KIM JAEHYUK, PARK HAEMI, and SEO HANEUL. the dance stage will be performed during the PRESENT phase.
RAP STAGE ( AHN JAESUN, GEUM DANBI, KOIZUMI TSUKI, LEE YUSHIN, OH EUNHYE, OKAMOTO AKIRA ): all of them will be performing “ALL IN” along with the original artist, YP. the rap stage will be performed during the FUTURE phase.
because the stages are co-ed, all of them will be participating separately in their groups ( so the girls will be practicing together while the type zero and v&a members will be practicing together ). it isn’t until FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 24 and SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25 when they will be practicing all together ( including the senior artists ).
when the woman is done explaining all of the details to them, she gives them a warning that even though this is one of the few instances when legacy has allowed co-ed performances to happen, everyone is expected to be professional and follow the usual rules.
REQUIREMENTS
unlike our typical events, the requirements for this one will be done differently to give the muns a break from doing event threads. you are not required to make the threads related to the family concert ( preparations, rehearsals, etc. ), but if you choose to do that, please use the hashtag lgc:familycon2k21 for anything related to that topic. there are two ways to fulfill the writing requirements so choose ONE.
2 THREADS with two different partners ( they must be people that you have NOT had a thread with and can be anyone who belongs in LGC GIRLS SUMMER, TYPE ZERO, or V&A ). each thread should have 6 REPLIES ( 3 per mun; minimum 8 lines ) in total.
OR
1 THREAD with one partner ( it can be someone that you HAVE interacted with before, but they must be in LGC GIRLS SUMMER, TYPE ZERO, or V&A and the thread has to be created sometime between today and the deadline ). the thread should have 12 REPLIES ( 6 per mun; minimum 8 lines ) in total.
once you complete the writing requirements, please submit the following form ONCE on the points blog before OCTOBER 9, 2021 11:59 EST. completing the task can reward you anywhere between 5-10 SKILL POINTS IN THE SKILL CHOSEN and +4 NOTORIETY, but the number of points won’t be revealed until after the deadline.
TITLE: MUSE NAME ∙ Q3 THREADS
THREAD: # OF POSTS WRITTEN [ LINK ] ( link both threads if you did two threads )
SKILL CHOSEN: ( skill that you want the points to go to. choose only one skill! )
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BABY HANBIN IS MY FAV dude literally him, his mom and hanbyul ARE THE SAME
#LOOK AT THE LIL BABBBBBYYYYYY#also the top right photo is finally complete when he posted that lyric vid..ugh shes so pretty#ask#mutuals
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Godfather
iKON Extra Member AU
Summary: Bao shares a piece of her life with the boys that she hadn’t shared with anyone else.
Warnings: swearing
Taglist: @hyunmijung @galacticstxrdust @kimonmars @soobinssmile
A/N: I’ve been trying to do some research on this to better write Bao, but I’m still learning, so bear with me as I try to educate myself. I just had Bao explain the basics in a very “Bao” way for now. Hope you enjoy!
Requests are open! Please let me know what you think.
iKON sat around the table in the back of a chicken restaurant. The group had finished their schedule for the day and were given the okay to take the rest of the afternoon off. Everyone split up to do their own thing, but they all decided to have dinner together then go back to the dorms and just chill. They were able to convince Hanbin and Bao to actually leave work for another day.
Bao had spent the afternoon with Bobby and his nephew, Raon. Bao loved it when Bobby took her to see his family. They loved her as much as she loved them. And contrary to popular belief, Bao was great with kids. Hanbyul would agree.
Bobby and Bao just watched over Raon as his parents took the time to get some errands done. They took turns carrying the baby and just talking and just playing with him. Time went by too quickly and Bao was sad to say goodbye. Jiun had told her to come whenever to see them and Raon, and of course Bao agreed.
Now they sat with the rest of iKON eating chicken and drinking beer, the best combination, in Bao’s opinion. Everyone talked about what they had done in their free time. Chanwoo had gamed, Jinhwan and Junhoe had spent the day walking around Hongdae, Yunhyeong had spent the day relaxing at the dorm, Donghyuk had been with a friend, and Hanbin had gone hiking. (Bao was a bit salty for not being invited.)
“You picked to spend the day with Bobby,” Hanbin defended.
“You could have still asked me,” Bao grumbled, taking a sip of her beer.
“Whatever,” he rolled his eyes and went back to eating his chicken.
About an hour in just sitting around drinking and eating, and watching the soccer game that was on, Bobby started to talk about how Raon had been crying today and once Bao held him he quieted down and just stared at her.
“I honestly don’t get it. How are you good with kids?” Junhoe asked through a mouth full of chicken.
“You suck with adults,” Jinhwan added, quirking a brow.
“This is true,” Bao said, nodding. “But you see little kids haven’t been trained yet, so you can’t blame them,” Bao shrugged like it was the obvious answer.
“They’re not dogs, Noona,” Chanwoo snorted.
“Whatever. You get the point,” she glared at the maknae. “Adults have these bad habits that they learned, while these smaller adults-”
“Kids. They’re called kids, B,” Hanbin said, mouth slightly upturned as he listened to her talk.
“Kids. These kids can still be taught,” Bao finished off, kicking Hanbin underneath the table.
“So, kids are innocent?” Donghyuk asked.
“Yes.”
“Okay, that explains why you like them, but not why they like you,” Junhoe said, chucking a fry at her. Bao grabbed it and shrugged, popping the fry in her mouth.
“I don’t know. They just do,” Bao said, then turned to Hanbin. “Why does Hanbyul like me?” Hanbyul was Hanbin’s younger sister and the sweetest and cutest kids she’s ever seen.
Hanbin paused as he thought about his answer. “She has said that you’re really pretty,” he answered, but went quickly to find another answer seeing as Bao wasn’t satisfied with his. “Um, she’s definitely told me that you’re really nice and cool, so maybe that? Honestly, I don’t know,” Hanbin shrugged.
Bao rolled her eyes, but accepted his answer. “I guess it’s ‘cause I’m less of a bitch when I’m with kids,” she shrugged, reaching for another piece of chicken. Junhoe barked out a laugh as the other chuckled.
“Must be it,” Bobby nodded, grinning.
“Are you going to have kids, Noona?” Donghyuk spoke up, looking up from his chicken.
Bao shrugged, taking a sip of her drink. “I want kids, but I can't have them,” she answered. And there it was. The table fell silent.
After about a few seconds, Bobby spoke up. “What do you mean?” Bao could tell that he was almost hesitant to ask.
“Well, I have endometriosis,” Bao said, picking at her chicken. She wasn’t scared or even ashamed to talk about this, but she could feel their eyes on her and soon the questions would come. She kind of wanted to skip over the pity.
“What’s that?” Chanwoo asked.
“It’s like- How can I explain this simply?” Bao asked herself. She pushed her glass aside, moving her hands as she spoke. “Okay, so I get really, like really bad period cramps, ‘cause of this tissue thing in my uterus that isn’t growing where it should. Ya know when I get my period and I can barely move, and I’m like super drugged up on pain meds?” Bao said, looking at them when she asked.
“Yeah,” Hanbin said, nodding from his place next to her. She could see the gears turning in his head. In all their heads.
“Well, to make the pain slightly more bearable, I’m on those pain meds and then birth control. It helps with the pain,” she added on when she saw the question in their eyes.
“So you can’t have kids ‘cause of this?” Yunhyeong asked, tilting his head to the side.
“I could, but it would mean surgery and a whole bunch of other treatments. And it’s too much of a hassle for me, especially as an idol. I can deal with the pain. It’s only when I’m on my period, so just don’t cross me on those days,” Bao said adding the joke at the end. She hated how tense the atmosphere got.
“Then how would you have kids? ‘Cause you said you wanted to, right?” Hanbin asked, looking up at her, and she was grateful to not see any pity. Hanbin knew her. He knew that she’d hate that, instead would prefer to just work through her problems.
“Adoption,” Bao simply answered. She smiled at the boys, who were trying to take everything in.
After a beat of silence, Junhoe spoke up. “I call godfather!”
“Like hell you’d be the godfather,” Bao snorted, shaking her head.
“Why not? Why can’t I be the godfather?” the vocalist whined.
“Her kids will grow up being a noise machine with you around,” Bobby chuckled, then turned to Bao. “I’d be the godfather, right?” he winked at her.
The Japanese placed a finger on her lips, pretending to think. “Let’s see. If any of you want to be my kid's godfather you’ll have to start earning your place now,” Bao stated, nodding her head once.
“Do you want more chicken?” Yunhyeong asked quickly.
Bao laughed. “Yes, but you gotta try harder than that,” she said as she watched him single a waitress.
“Thank you for telling us, Bao.” The rapper turned her head to see Hanbin with a warm smile. “I know you don’t talk about yourself a lot, so thank you for trusting us,” he said, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze.
He was right. Bao struggled with opening up. After years of knowing the boys, there was still so much she hadn’t told them, but like Hanbin had said, she trusted them. This was something she hadn’t actually seen herself doing, but she really did trust them.
“Thank you for always being there for me. It makes it easier to try to open up,” she said offering her own smile.
“Aw, Bao has feelings,” Junhoe said, wiping a fake tear.
“And now you killed the mood, idiot,” Jinhwan said, smacking the side of his head.
Bao chuckled then turned to the new plate of chicken placed in front of her, she took a look at her empty glass and heard the maknae speak up.
“How could you refill her chicken, but not her beer? Don’t half ass shit,” he said then went to order another round of beers for the table.
“Godfather material, right there,” Bao called out, pointing at the maknae who grinned at her when she said that.
“Suck up.” She laughed when she heard Junhoe mumble under his breath.
Bao’s Masterlist
#ikon#ikon au#ikon 8th member#ikon 7th member#ikon fanfic#ikon scenarios#ikon reactions#ikon oneshots#kpop scenarios#kpop reactions#kpop oneshots#female kpop additions#kim jinhwan#song yunhyeong#kim bobby#kim hanbin#kim donghyuk#goo junhoe#jung chanwoo
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☆— [six]
summary: Baekhyun is just a man who doesn’t believe in romance as much as Byul, who is trying to give herself to him. But day by day, he will soon realize that her fleeting actions are breaking down his cold-hearted brick wall, no matter if it takes her a million years.
warning(s): -
word count: 5.1k+
author’s note: please let me know what you guys think about this chapter!! if you would want to be tagged for next update, do tell me!! enjoy reading :)
tag list: @iloveagain @catboyseni @versaexact @xlxbaekhyuneex @nastybbh92
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“Come on, Baekhyun. Stop playing around so we can finish this assignment.” I request, sighing softly after seeing him procrastinate. Baekhyun plays around with his laptop for 10 minutes already because we’ve been trying to complete this project by tonight. Baekhyun and I have been at Starbucks for hours since at 8 pm. Now? It almost strikes at 12 am and our work hasn’t completed yet. And, I love how this place is open 24 hours so we can do our work conveniently.
“Chill, Hanbyul. We still have a week,” Baekhyun scoffs as he grabs his iced caramel macchiato and drinks it. I glare at him before rolling my eyes to the back of my head. My eyes start to feel sleepy, losing my focus on the screen of my laptop. I quickly slap my cheeks slightly to at leash freshen me up.
Baekhyun giggles silently once I start banging my head in the air with my eyes almost tightly close. A few seconds later, I place my head on the table and decide to get a short nap to reenergize back before continuing the project. I doze for around 5 minutes and get back to work. But within a few minutes, my legs and hands start to feel numb so I decide to lay my back by the chair and continue my dozing.
The moment I wake up from the short nap, I realised that my head was on Baekhyun’s shoulder. I glance at his face, he places his head on mine and also has his eyes closed. Suddenly, I feel so comfortable with this position, knowing that most probably Baekhyun just felt pity looking at me so tired. That���s maybe the reason why he offers his shoulder for my head to rest comfortably.
I scan his face slowly this time. From his forehead, his eyes, cute nose and to his pink pair of lips. I even realised he has a few numbers of moles on his face and I find them cute too. I’ve never seen him this close. Baekhyun’s face looks so serene when he is sleeping. Like, his masculine side has turned off and become a whole baby right now. Even though he's already 28 years old, he doesn’t look like that age at all. Still young, handsome and sometimes have that baby face.
My fingers trying so hard to caress his face right now but obviously, it would wake him up. I check the current time as it’s already past midnight. We’ve been dozing off for quite a long time and I think it’s better for both of us continue this later. Because I don’t think we’re able to finish this overnight at this state.
“Baekhyun…” I softly call him. But, he doesn’t budge.
I pat his thigh gently while keep on calling him, “Baekhyun, wake up. Let’s go home, hmm?” I suggest to him. Baekhyun wakes up, pulls away from me with a stretch. His eyes are barely open that makes me chuckle seeing him in this way.
I shut down his and my laptop, helping to clear the stuff because he’s still spacing out. He must be so tired nowadays. It makes me wonder what does he do besides attending classes because I realised, our schedules are not packed at all. Maybe, he just normally tired. Baekhyun continues his nap at this moment as I offer to prepare ourselves to get home. I don’t need to feel worried about my transportation since Baekhyun always offers to send me back home.
Once everything is pack, I try to wake him up again. Baekhyun literally whines a bit before he rubs his eyes and looks at me with his sleepy face. “What time is it already?” He asks. His legs were spread as he stares on the floor blankly. I chuckle and take out my phone to show him the current time. “12.15 am, mister. So, let’s get back home, shall we?”
He nods slowly and grabs his stuff together with him. We leave the place and head to his car. As both of us get into the car, Baekhyun turns on the engine and spacing out. Again. He’s spacing out, staring at his steering wheel without moving even an inch. Then, he sighs.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” I ask him with concern. Baekhyun makes me get to worry about him because he looks so blank. He turns to look at me, admiring me for a few minutes. Okay, double worry.
I slowly slide my hand to place on his lap, looking at him anxiously. “Baekhyun, tell me, please? I’m so worried right now.” I demand him to tell me. He brings his hand to hold with mine that causes me to shock a bit. Baekhyun caresses it gently, trying to calm me down.
“I’m so lazy to drive. Can you drive?” He asks.
“Nope! Plus, I wouldn’t dare to drive this hella expensive car.” I answer him but he only replies to me is a chuckle. Baekhyun still holding my hand as my cheeks flush but I’m grateful that it’s dark in the car. So, he can’t see me blush right now.
Suddenly, he turns on the light. Shit.
I bite my lower lip anxiously, trying to avoid his eye contact so that I would not blush chronically. Baekhyun tucks a strand of my hair around my ear and leans closer to me. I shift myself backwards slowly until my back bumps with the door. He looks at me, his lips curve upwards into a sweet smile.
“Nah, I’m more alive after seeing your beautiful face. Your home, shall we, Hanbyul?” He says as I pull my hand away from his lap, buckling myself with the seatbelt. Baekhyun still has that smile on his face before he starts to drive us back to my apartment first. Throughout the whole journey, my heart couldn’t stop beating and thank God he turns on the radio. He hums to all the songs that he knows while I am sitting quietly, stealing a few glances on him when he’s driving.
Baekhyun stops by at the petrol station to fuel up his car. He leaves me behind in the car as he’s gone to fuel up the car. I’m staring at the car’s interior design even though I already ride his car a lot of time. His phone suddenly rings. I peek at Baekhyun outside that he is still waiting to fill the tank. I don’t want to pick up the call because it would be called as invading his privacy. But, the name appears as ‘Sohyunnie’. And now I’m wondering who she is.
As soon as the rings end, Baekhyun just finishes off his business and gets back into the driver's seat. He turns on his engine but before he continues to drive, he checks his phone. I keep myself together and peek at him. Baekhyun probably calls back that Sohyunnie back because he wears his right Airpod plug into his ear.
“Hey, why are you calling me in the middle of the night?” Baekhyun asks the caller as he continues to drive to my apartment. I listen quietly to his words even though I try hard to ignore him calling that person. He talks to the caller for a few minutes later and he laughs, chuckles plus smiles a lot too. This is another side of Baekhyun being so happy because I’ve never seen him this way before.
“I’ll be back soon, okay? Sleep tight and I miss you too.” He ends the call and drifts the car on the empty road.
Who is it? I let the question lingers around my mind because I will never have the answer.
After Baekhyun sends me home, I head to my apartment and straight to my bedroom. Since I already informed Soomin that I will come back home late, she already asleep in her room. I just don’t want her to worry about me because I told her that I’ll be doing my project together with Baekhyun. She told me that even though it’s him, I still need to be careful since we don’t exactly know his background in deep. But, I assure her that Baekhyun is a good guy and he wouldn’t hurt me or even kidnap me.
My routines are the same; shower, skincare and sleep. As I hop on the comfy bed, covering myself with the duvet and have my phone in my hands. And Baekhyun gives me a text as usual.
[Baekhyun]: I arrive home safely but I’m too lazy to take my shower.
[Byul]: Go and get a shower, you stinky.
[Baekhyun]: Can I just go to bed without getting one?
[Byul]: Eww! We’ve been staying outside for hours and you insist to go to bed at that state? You’re crazy, Baekhyun.
[Baekhyun]: I am, huh?
[Byul]: Yes! People tend to hate someone who doesn’t take care of themselves.
[Baekhyun]: So, if I get one, you will like me?
[Byul]: Stupid question. Of course, I will. I hate people who stink so much
[Baekhyun]: Teehee! I promise I’ll get one before I go to bed.
I chuckle reading to his replies. He’s acting like a child right now for sure.
[Baekhyun]: Wanna go out tomorrow?
[Byul]: Where? And when should we continue the assignment?
[Baekhyun]: I’m trying to ask you for a date and you’re here asking me back about the assignment? :(
[Byul]: Oh come on, Baekhyun. Okay fine. Where do you want to bring me out tomorrow?
[Baekhyun]: Looks like someone anticipates going out on a date with me *grin emoji*
[Byul]: I did not, okay. Say it or I’ll go to bed. Goodnight, Baekhyun.
I lock my phone and place it on the bedside table. My phone rings a few times and I assume he keeps on calling me so I wait for a little longer, answering his call. “What is it?”
“Are you mad at me?” Baekhyun asks me with his low voice.
“I’m not. I’m just tired and want to have my sleep now.” I answer him sternly.
“Hanbyul, I’m just playing around with you. Don’t be mad at me,” He tries to coax me as I only reply to him with a few hums.
“I’ll treat you tomorrow. How’s that sounds?”
“Be my credit card for the whole day and also my chauffeur throughout our hangout.” I request.
Baekhyun chuckles. “I can do anything for you. You name it sweetheart and I will.” He continues saying with low voices.
My whole body starts to heat up until I need to uncover myself from the duvet. I place my palm on my chest, feeling my heart beats rapidly. This is the first time ever, Baekhyun calls me ‘sweetheart’. I know it’s pretty normal but the way he says it, it’s really different. I’m like spacing out for a moment because that pet name effecting me.
“Hanbyul, you still there?” Baekhyun asks. I cough a bit to make it less obvious that I’m feeling so hot by only hearing to that name.
“Yeah, I’m here… So, tomorrow is it?”
“Yup. I’ll confirm it back later the time but be prepared, okay?” He tells me and I only answer him with a hum. A sudden long yawn escape from my mouth and Baekhyun obviously can hear it at the other side.
“You’re cute when you’re yawning.” He chuckles again.
“Nope. That’s a lie.”
“I’m not lying. It’s the truth.” Baekhyun denies my judgment.
“Whatever, Byun Baekhyun. Goodbye.” I bid goodbye.
“Goodnight, Hanbyul. Can’t wait to see you again, sweetheart.” Baekhyun bids his goodbye after wishing me goodnight. We end the call right away and I prepare myself to bed. I didn’t realise that during the whole conversation, I was smiling so wide just because of Baekhyun.
Sleep tight too, Baekhyun.
I wake up the next morning feeling so alive and happy. Baekhyun gave me a good impact on my sleep last night. I was having difficulties to get to sleep nowadays but last night was different. After weeks of knowing him, I already consider him as my close friend. The way he treats me as a friend, as a woman is unbelievable. I know it’s kinda weird but I really anticipate our next meeting because I just want to meet and hang out with him. He’s a crazy guy with weird personalities despite being a mysterious guy. But no matter what, he is Byun Baekhyun that I met at the cafe in a good appearance that caught my eyes.
When I leave my bedroom, I see Soomin doing business at the kitchen. “Woah, you woke up quite early today, Soomin.” I mock her before having a seat at the dining table. Seems like she’s cooking us breakfast and it’s a rare view seeing her cooking. She has a bit of talent in cooking but she’s too lazy to even steps to the kitchen.
“Can you stay still and appreciate this beautiful view of Soomin’s cooking?” Soomin turns to look at me as she rolls her eyes annoyingly before continue to prepare the food. I laugh hard, holding my tummy because I love to make her mad. Since both of us are too busy with the project, we rarely spend time together even though during the weekends. Because I prefer to just stay home and rest when I don’t have any work shifts. While Soomin on the other hand, Sehun loves to bring her to his house and spend their lovey-dovey time.
“Fine. Do you need any help?” I offer but she shakes her head. I walk and check on her. Soomin’s trying to cook kimchi fried rice and looks like she’s kinda struggling to read the recipe. The ingredients are all prepared on the island but she seems confused. As for now, Soomin wants to chop the kimchi but she couldn’t figure out how much she needs. I chuckle softly after seeing her doing the work diligently.
“1⁄4 kimchi from the container would be enough for the two of us. Have you cook the rice?” I ask her as she answers ‘no’. I offer myself to help her by cooking the rice first. At least, they would already when Soomin wants to fry it. Then, I help her to prepare the basic ingredients such as onions and chillies while she cuts the raw chicken into small sizes. Both of us work together to cook the kimchi fried rice because working together, it would make the food extra delicious. This is our masterpiece. We finish it up within the range of 45 minutes and I end it up with giving a high five to her.
“Good job!! Have you taken your morning shower already?” I ask her when she’s busy transferring the fried rice onto the plates. Soomin nods her head a few times.
“Okay, gimme 10 minutes for a quick shower please?”
“5 minutes,” Soomin says.
“10 minutes and I’ll treat you ice cream,” I beg her with my puppy eyes. She rolls her eyes before nodding her head. I jump excitedly on the same spot, ruffling her hair and run back quickly to my bedroom. Because I make her pretty annoyed with me in the morning. I rush myself to have a quick shower and wear a plain pink t-shirt with short pants. When I go back to the dining table, Soomin already set up everything including the hot tea. I sit across her and both of us start to eat kimchi fried rice. We make a unison satisfied hum, indicating that the fried rice that we both made is delicious.
“Are you planning to go anywhere today?” Soomin pauses for a moment and turns to look at me while questioning me. Now, I’m agitating. Would it be weird if I say Baekhyun wants to bring me out? Or is it not?
“Kinda? Baekhyun wanna bring me out somewhere,” I answer. Her pupils dilate after hearing his name. I start to play with the rice using my spoon because I’m nervous about what will she say next.
“Byul, do you have anything with him though? I’ve seen that you’re so close to him now,” Soomin lets out a statement. I start to fluster because she thinks I have a relationship with Baekhyun.
“Obviously no! We’re just friends plus why would he date me though? I’m just a normal girl with nothing,” I explain, sounding a bit of disappointment. It’s kinda hurt that my whole life doesn’t have anything special with it. I used to grow up with loving parents but it ended up with no happy ending. Even though mom already happily married to father, I’m just grateful to have the people who I can call a family.
“Gosh, Byul. Can you stop saying that you’re nothing? Come on, you’re beautiful and a smart ass person. Always look at the bright side and please,” Soomin stops for a second, grabbing my hand and caresses it. “-go and find someone that can make you happy. Inside and outside. Someone’s that worth to you and treats you like a real woman. I swear love can change everything in this life. You just need to try and take a risk for it.”
I swear, we’ve never talked about guys and I’ve never heard Soomin saying about a relationship this serious. Now the realisation hits me when both of us already turned 26 years old and within a few months before the new year, we’re turning 27. How time flies so fast that shows the way I’m growing out my youth and adult age with Soomin. No one can replace her spot as my best friend. I’m so grateful to have her but kinda sad knowing that she will leave me anytime by getting married with Sehun. It’s a relief that both of them are seriously in love with each other and I’m just hoping happiness for both of my best friends.
“Let’s finish this food first before I tear up,” I say to her and continue eating my food. Soomin just smiles and nods her head as she continues too. We both savour the kimchi fried rice and right after we’re done eating, I offer myself to do the dishes while Soomin can clear up the dining table. At least, we can finish this fast and continue our girls talk at the living room comfortably.
After we’re done having our breakfast, Soomin settles down on the couch while I run swiftly to my room, grabbing my phone in case there are any important notifications. Then, I plop myself right besides her and get ready to proceed with our previous conversation. Soomin suddenly becomes so quiet and that makes me worry about her.
I bring my hands to hold with hers, caressing them. “Hey… Is there anything that disturbing you right now?” I ask her softly, didn’t want to sound like I’m forcing her to answer it. Soomin lets out an audible sigh and shakes her head.
“It’s not that important but- Nevermind,” She resists to answer. I look at her with the softest smile that I can with a worried face. She sees me and giggles as Soomin shoves my face away to stop me making that kind of face. Finally both of us easing the tense situation.
She releases a final sigh before continuing, “Sehun proposed me to marry him…”
“WHAT?!! You’re not joking, right?” I shout loudly that cause her to cover both of her ears.
“I’m so happy for both of you!!” I say but she’s only plastering me with a smile. “Anything wrong with that?” I ask her this time, trying to dig deeper into this conversation.
“Byul, you know I love him so much right?” She asks me as I nod my head. “-but marriage is going to be a big responsibility to me, to Sehun. We’re going to commit a risk and I don’t think I’m ready despite me and Sehun to have been together for 5 years.”
“Then, what if he finds me boring after we get married and just leave me alone behind?... I’m just… scared to lose him.” Soomin explains more about it as she sounds like she’s going to tear up. I lift her head to look into my eyes, wiping the tears that escape.
“Soomin, Sehun is an incredible man and we both know that he never loved anyone else except you. Being scared in a relationship is normal but the most important thing is the trust in each other. Sehun would never leave you behind because he’s crazy in love with you, Soomin. It’s obvious! But, if you’re not ready to commit a new responsibility, talk to him. He will listen and understand. Trust me. Sehun is the same guy that we knew back in previous years. He’ll never change. Believe in each other and you guys will be forever to eternity.” I try to put everything in words, hoping she will understand everything and accept it. Soomin pauses for a moment without blinking her eyes then suddenly she pulls me for a big hug, tearing up. I caress her back up and down to calm her down. It feels good to know that she finally bursts out all her worries to me because at least we could share different opinions.
“Oh come on, don’t cry. You’re being a baby. Pfft.” I snigger but she still hugging me. When she starts to calm down, she breaks the hug and wipes her tears as her lips curve upwards. Suddenly, my phone rings at the wrong timing. I try to decline the call but Soomin insists for me to answer it. So I did. I look at the caller name and it’s finally Baekhyun.
“Hello! What are you doing? Did I disturb your sleep?” Baekhyun greets as he asks me.
“Baekhyun it’s like 10:30 am and you think I’m still sleeping?” I say and I can hear him chuckling.
“I’m going to pick you up at 1 pm so we can have our lunch together.”
“Alright. See you later then?” I say and he hums. Before I get to end the call, Baekhyun gets to continue, “See you, beautiful.”
I end the call with my heart’s fluttering but I put away my phone on the coffee table. Soomin has calmed down completely and waiting for me to say anything regarding the call. “Byun Baekhyun, is it?” She questions me and I can only nod my head.
“He’s going to pick you up?”
“At 1,” I say shortly.
“Take care then. Don’t let me kill him if he ever breaks your heart,” Soomin finally speaks the most important part and I can only laugh at it.
“We’re just friends, Soomin. Nothing more than that.” I confess to her the truth but she only glares fiercely that makes me throw a pillow on her. Within a few seconds later, we start a pillow fight in the living room. It’s good to have this quality time with her because I don’t even know when’s the next time.
I get myself to wear a beige turtleneck shirt in long sleeve and a long brown skirt to pair with it. Since it’s getting cold outside, at least I have the initiative to keep myself warm throughout the hang out with Baekhyun. After I bid goodbye with Soomin, I head straight to the lobby using the lift and wait for Baekhyun to arrive. Then, the same familiar black Audi car stops in front of me so I get into the passenger seat and greet him with a wide smile. Once I buckle up myself, I realise that the car doesn’t move at all and Baekhyun is busy admiring me.
He smirks silently and starts to drive the car with his one hand on the steering wheel. Baekhyun being extra annoying yet attractive nowadays. I think my heart needs to be stronger whenever he tries to make it beating like crazy.
“Where are we going?” I curiously ask as I turn to look at him.
Baekhyun stealing a few glances from the road, “COEX Mall. We’ll get our lunch first and we can roam around the mall. You can shop too if you want,” He suggests to me.
“Have you been to any cinema recently?”I ask him. Baekhyun shakes his head a few times.
“Then, can we watch any movies after we have lunch? It’s been months since the last I step on the cinema though. Pretty please?” It’s my turn to suggest but I didn’t realise that I sound like a begging child. Baekhyun lets out low chuckles before he nods his head. I squeal softly in excitement because he allows me to watch a movie. And I couldn’t wait to watch the movie with Byun Baekhyun for our first time. Together.
“What are you going to do during our first-semester break, Baekhyun?” I question him and savour a spoonful of spaghetti. I ordered spaghetti carbonara while he, on the other hand, ordered lamb chop. He forces me to eat at the western restaurant so here we are right now. It’s quite fancy but Baekhyun offers to treat me but I opted the less pricey food for my lunch meal.
“I don’t know? Probably staying and chilling at my house. And, playing video games I guess?” He answers while looking at me eating.
“Only playing video games? Sounds so boring. Boo~” I mock him as I giggle that makes him chuckle.
“Okay. At least, my holiday will become so hectic with my work shifts and might only get home only to sleep.” I finish my last bite and wipe off my mouth with a clean cloth. Baekhyun nods his head, hearing me diligently while trying to finish his food up.
“I’ll visit you often. No worries because I think I’m going to miss your coffee if I don’t get any during the break.” He confesses that he loves the coffee drinks that I make so much. After hearing his confession, I only able to chuckle softly.
I’m about to ask further about where he lives now and is he staying alone or with his family. But, Baekhyun makes me cancel my plan because he calls the waiter to ask for the bill. Once the waiter comes with the bill, Baekhyun doesn’t check on it but instead, he straightly gives his credit card. Now, he makes me more curious about his background. Maybe, he was born in a rich family so I don’t doubt that from the way of his living.
“The cinema, shall we?” He asks and I say ‘yes’ straight away.
We head straight to the cinema as we stare at the current movies showing on the monitor screen. “What are we going to watch?” I move to stand in front of him as I ask. Baekhyun is obviously taller than me because my chin is approximately at his shoulders but our height differences are perfect. He looks down to face me, staring into my eyes differently.
“You can choose anything that you want to watch, Hanbyul. Because I’m going to look at you during the whole movie,” He answers. I hit his chest lightly because he’s trying to be cheesy and it’s not good for my heart’s health. Baekhyun breaks into laughter and pushes me to the counter. “Go and choose anything. I don’t mind.” He says.
I roll my eyes and finally choose a movie; Five Feet Apart. It’s a melancholic romance movie and I’ve been anticipating to watch it. So, this is my chance. He is willing to pay the tickets because he keeps repeating that he already promised me to pay everything for today. And I couldn’t stop him. Once we’ve got our tickets, I excused myself to go to the ladies’ room while waiting for our movie hall.
When I leave the ladies’ room and head back to Baekhyun, I’m seeing him talking with a woman. She has her hand on his shoulder as she was kinda close to Baekhyun. But, he doesn’t budge at all. I walk towards them as when Baekhyun realises I’m back, he calls my name.
“I’ll see you later. Goodbye, Baekhyun oppa and enjoy your movie!” She bids goodbye and Baekhyun just plasters a smile.
“Who is it? Your friend?” I curiously ask him.
“Yeah,” He simple answers. Suddenly, our hall has been called. “Let’s go in already.”
I follow him from behind and walk to our hall. There are only a few people in the hall as I sit comfortably besides Baekhyun. We wait for the advertisements to play before the movie starts so I already open the popcorn and start munching. As I tilt my head to offer the popcorn, Baekhyun stares at me.
“Popcorn?” I offer and he suddenly opens up his mouth. Is he expecting me to feed him? What should I do?
I give the whole popcorn to him, “Feed yourself, big boy.” I giggle when I can see him pouting even though the hall is currently dark. He scoffs softly and digs into the popcorn, munching them. The movie starts as I have my full attention on the big widescreen. While busy eating and drinking, I feel kinda uncomfortable. I slowly turn to face him, Baekhyun’s currently looking at me.
“Why are you staring at me?” I go closer to him and whisper because I don’t want to get scolded by the others from talking loudly.
“I already told you that I’m only looking at you.” He says. My heart stops for a second.
“Come on, Baekhyun. It’s a great movie!” I partially beg and force him to watch the movie as Baekhyun chuckles softly before averting his gaze to the screen. I continue to watch the movie when I confirm that he will not stare at me because he will make me go all flush. And I couldn’t focus on the movie afterwards.
After the movie ended, I have my eyes swollen with tears because the movie got me wailing hard and Baekhyun can only offer his napkin to me. We leave the hall and I still have my red eyes. He has his hands keep in the pocket as he chuckles.
“Are you laughing at me, Mr Baekhyun?” I stop in my tracks and glare at him. Baekhyun changes his expression from a happy to normal face. I ignore him, leaving him behind as an act of revenge. He chases me from behind.
“Where do you want to go next? Shopping?” Baekhyun walks right beside me while waiting for my answer.
When I was about to do so, someone calls my name. “Hanbyul!”
“Oh my god! Kim Jongin!” I jog to the person and hug him into my arms. Baekhyun was left clueless at behind, witnessing me hugging a guy right in front of him.
#exowritersnet#exo#baekhyun#exo smut#baekhyun smut#exo romance#baekhyun romance#recent#baekhyun imagines#exo imagines#baekhypnotized#nothing more#exo scenarios#baekhyun scenarios#baekhyun fluff#exo fluff#baekhyun angst#exo angst#exo fanfiction#baekhyun fanfiction#fanfiction#baekhyun x reader#byun baekhyun#kpop imagine
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Interlude: No More Drama | Part 2 | Kick It
Interlude: No More Drama Masterlist
Word count: 2,796
Warnings: SMUT, EXPLICIT SMUT!! who mess up with my daughter agenda by Mark Lee
Part 2 | Kick it
“The new worlds that will spread in front of me will come into me as if I can grab them”
Prev • Next
The sound of Seojun’s shoes rapidly tapping the floor started to tick Hanbyul off.
“Do you mind?” Hanbyul said to him, in a sarcastic tone.
“What took her so long? All she needs to do was to grab a bag, I thought she said she’s already halfway done? Did she fucked with some–yeowch!!!” Seojun screamed, unable to finish his sentence due to the flying slap you landed on him.
“I don’t fuck around with just anyone Seojun, unlike you. I bet you told them that you would drive Soyou back just to get laid.”
“That hurts!” Seojun grunts, hurt from both your speech and your action. “It’s not my fault to start doubting you when you’re taking rendezvous upstairs… wait, you’re alone?”
You’re making sure nobody noticed that you just took a gulp before answering him, “If only our friends can take care of their libidos. Don’t expect Soojung and Yerim to come home with us, I bet they’re still making out upstairs. As for Junhoe… he’s always the odd one, isn’t he?”
You don’t even have to finish your sentence because all of them share the same sentiments, laughing especially at your last sentence. After giving them Soyou’s bag, you told them you’ll go upstairs again to grab your own. Hanbyul and Mingyu are ready to accompany you when you told them to just go back home.
“I’m not a bitch, [Y/N], what kind of friend I am to let you go back there alone?! You even just told us that Junhoe is the odd one! Who knows what kind of thing he would do to you!”
“Pfft!” You replied with a dismissive attitude. “One, we all know Junhoe is all over the moon for Yerim. Second, you are equally as drunk as them. So be a good girl and just go home, ok? Mingyu, can you please be a gentleman and make sure my friend come back home in one piece?”
Hanbyul nags and nags but eventually give in after Mingyu starts to tell her that she’s actually taking your time. They said goodbye to you and while they walked towards Mingyu’s car, you make your way to the elevator. You pretended to wait for the elevator, and standing next to you was the man you just made out with. After you heard two cars, Seojun’s and Mingyu’s, respectively, passed by, you finally let go of a sigh of relief.
“Here,” He said while giving you your purse, in which you took while not making any eye contact with him.
You’ve never done this before. Lying to your best friend, specifically for something as big as this.
You don’t fuck around with just anyone, huh, [Y/N]?
You thought to yourself, slowly fidgeting on the chain of your purse, refusing to see him in the eyes.
It is as if he knows you’re nervous, he asked you gently, “Hey, are you ok?”
And with that, you finally locked your gaze with him. The alcohol in your system has made you an emotional person, putting your feelings on your sleeve. Tears of wary started to form in your eyes, while you still trying to smile at Jaehyun. He can’t help but letting out a soft chuckle, dimples on full display, as he saw that you’re feeling very unsure with all of these. He stretched out his arms, asking you to embrace him in which you did. He hugs you tight, and you can smell his fine fragrance, like a jazz club. You can smell bourbon out of him (so that’s what he’s been drinking), mixed with hints of tobacco scent. It’s not even two hours in, but you oddly felt very comfortable in his clasp.
“I promise you, I’m not a serial killer or some sort.” He said while stroking your head, and starts to coyly cradle you. You giggled in return, looking up at him and finally made another eye contact.
“It’s just… I’ve never done anything like this before. I probably drank too much and we might regret this the next morning. Hell, why do you sound so trustworthy when I barely even know you?” You said while burying your face to his chest.
He laughs, but the soft tone that he owns changed almost instantly.
“Look at me.”
You flinched at the sound of his baritone, dominating voice. When you meet his eyes once more, his previous soft gaze is nowhere to be found. His brown eyes set into a darker shade, and that excites you, leaving a tingling sensation, making you wanting more.
“I don’t give a damn whether you’re experienced in this or not. What I can assure you is that I want you, and I know you want something more, too.” His deep, low voice invites you in.
“Let me introduce you to something new.”
Your body freezes, not out of fear, but out of gush of adrenaline that your body produces over each word that has left his mouth. You know he’s not forcing you, but he lures you and it’s working. You’re aware if you’re going to back out, this is your final chance and he would probably understand. Then again, it seems like running away was not an option. You can’t really explain it, but you just know.
You finally nods, followed by his smirked in triumph.
“Good,” he said, as he searched for his car key in his pocket. “Wait here, I’ll grab my car.”
He practically skipped his way, finding his way to where he parked his car. Feeling victorious.
And there goes your chance to run away from Jaehyun.
–
He definitely didn’t take his time to let you admire his apartment. He immediately searches for your lips, missing how it feels on his. You welcomed him, scrunching his hair and messing it up without any care in the world. You know he’s been exercising by the way his body feels when you made out at the elevator, but you didn’t realize how strong he was as he suddenly lifts you up and pushed you to the wall in the hallway. You clung over his neck, begging for more. His kisses became more and more animalistic, he desires you. You’re not sure whether you are intoxicated by the alcohol you guys have consumed, or because you’ve been consuming one another.
He finally separates his lips from yours, only to give you a sweet whisper, forehead rested on yours.
“You’re gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous.” He hissed, continues to leave wet kisses on your jawline.
“Wait,” you stopped him from continuing while catching your breath.
“At least let’s do it in bed.” You’re asking him a favor. You opened your eyes, meeting his who’s currently indulging you.
Jaehyun does not feel like obeying other’s requests at the moment, he simply replies, “Not after what you’ve done to me, baby. I want you, and I want you now.”
He starts to grind his hips to yours, for you to feel his growing member. You welcomed his movements with a moan, only to excite him in return. The layers of clothes in between you guys surely in the way, but you can feel the firmness of his cock, making you moan in pleasure.
“Jaehyun, put me down.”
“I want to make you feel good too.”
For the first time in the night, he listens to you. You started to unbuckle his belt, unzip his pants to expose his shaft, stiff from all of the stimulations. The tip is bright red, glistening from his pre-cum as if it is a signal for you to kneel and start kissing his cock.
“Fuck,” he lets out a groan, only making you doing more.
“Who taught you this, baby girl? You like taking my cock in your mouth?”
Normally you wouldn’t like it when a man talking down a woman like that, however, all those words just dampen your underwear even more.
You bob your head, occasionally let out a small gag sound as his cock reached your throat. Every time it does, his cock twitches, desperate as the walls in your mouth coil around him.
“Shit, [Y/N], you’re going to make me cum like this.”
“Then cum for me, baby.” You said to him as you continue to lick him.
After your approval, he becomes more ruthless with each of his thrusts. Your tongue dances inside, only making his moans louder. He curses and curses before letting a low groan, tilting his head back as the warm liquid starts to fill your mouth.
“Fuck, you’re so good at this.” He said while still holding your head, finally looking down at your direction.
You sucked all the remaining cum before swallowing his seed, making him raise one of his eyebrows, impressed.
“I thought you never done anything like this, but you’re a swallower? Damn.”
You licked your lips, “It’s your fault for tasting so good, sir.”
You didn’t regret your choice of words. You know from the first time that Jaehyun loves to be in command. You know by making him the dominating one turns him on almost instantly. Igniting the beast inside him.
He pushes you, now both of you are on the floor. He begins to undress you, trailing every nook and crannies of your skin. His soft lips landed on your neck, and whenever his soft lips touch your skin, you can’t help but whimper in pleasure. He plucked every article of your clothing, leaving you only with the lacy black bra with matching black thongs.
“Fucking beautiful.” He murmurs. His hands found his way to your breast, pulling the fabric down and exposing your twin. Again, he praises your body like you’re a piece of art before helping himself and sucking your right breast, kneading your left.
“Oh God, fuck,” your moan started to mix with your heavy breathing. You’re gasping in pleasure, messing his hair as a sign that you beg for more.
“What is it, baby love?” He took a peek on you, teasing you hard while his lips are still busy playing with your nipple. “Do I make you feel good enough?”
You want more.
“More…” You said softly, all he did was to tease your breast but enough to make you drown in indulgence.
He suddenly bit your nipple. It took you off guarded, making you lose all of your reasoning as you arched your back.
“You gotta beg better, babe.” He said in a husky voice, you turning on because of him clearly turns him on too. Making his cock grows bigger. “Come on, beg for me.”
You yearn from him. You want him to fill your core.
“Fuck me, Jaehyun, please.”
He gave you a smug smile. You thought he’s going to fill you deeply, except that he lifted your hips up, making you rest on your shoulder.
“Not yet, baby girl,” he said while tugging your legs on his shoulder. “I’m not done prepping you yet.”
You jolted when you can feel him beginning to taste you. Your mind went blank. It’s like he’s been fasting for days and you are his first meal in a long while. The sound of him sucking you mixed with your love juices filled the room. He licks every inch of your fold, and your juices flow even harder when you felt his thick cock rubbing your back. You’re twitching inside, and he could sense that. He proceeds by entering both his two fingers into you and causes you to moan even harder, kicking the air mindlessly.
“Shit, [Y/N], you’re so wet.” He said while spreading your inside, making you racking your hip back and forth.
“Do you want me that much? You can already suck both of my fingers”
“Yes, Jaehyun, yes!”
“Tell me, what do you want me to do?” He said in a mocking tone, demanding an answer as his digits move even faster than how it already is.
“Oh God Jaehyun please fuck me, I want you inside me!”
He didn’t waste his time, ripping the condom he had on his pockets, swiftly putting it on his cock, finally entering you. As he slowly rips you open, you can’t help but to swear and continuously call his name.
“Fuck,” he lets out a low howl, “You’re so fucking tight, baby. Fuck, that feels so good.”
He continues to thrust deep into you. He pulls out his cock slowly, every time he does it is always followed by him entering you harder. You start to feel numb, feeling like Jaehyun is about to tip you into two. Each time his cock reaches your core, you feel the knot in your stomach begs to be untied.
“Baby I’m close, fuck, Jaehyun, I’m about to cum.”
He moves closer, kissing your swollen lips sloppily, missing your touch. “Good. cum for me baby girl, I’m almost there too.”
His movement becomes rapid, repeating your name with strained grunts. You never got fucked like this before, you don’t know how he is able to make you undone with every thrust. As the walls from your pussy begin twitching, wrapping his cock, his pace becomes even wilder. “Fuck, Jaehyun, fuck!”
With his approval, you finally let go of your built orgasm. You’re on cloud nine, never know how pleasurable intercourse could give you. Your nails dig deep into Jaehyun’s skin, desperately holding onto him as your hips continuously flinched due to pleasure. You feel Jaehyun stalling inside you, giving you few thrusts as a signal for him finally spurting his cum inside, refusing to take his cock out even though he’s done.
“That was awesome.” You caressed his hair, trying to mend the mess you’ve made to his hair. You guys are both panting heavily while trying to catch your breath, with him holding your back making sure your skin does not touch the cold wooden floor. You can feel his ribcage breathes in and out, and now that you guys are touching skin-to-skin, you can feel how well-defined his abs are.
He finally looks at you and smiles, showing his signature dimples as he refuses to let you the connection you’ve made with him.
You tucked his bangs that cover his forehead, wanting to see all of his facial features. “One of my best one yet.”
He suddenly stares at you, quietly. He suddenly picks you up and carries you, while his cock still lingers inside you. You’re shocked by how his junior feels bigger again.
“Wait, you’re not done?”
The devilish smirk.
“What do you mean yet? I don’t think anyone else can make you feel this way except for me, [Y/N].” He said while lifting you up, forcing you to hold onto his neck while making sure he is still connected with you down there.
“W-wait! Jaehyun! I just cum!” You desperately negotiate with him, clearly because you’re still sensitive all over from the waves of your orgasm.
“Let’s go to bed.” He said while kissing your temples, breathing your scent that is now mixed the scent of your sweat. “It’s not enough. Hold on.”
“You’re going like this?! Jaehyun, wai-!!”
You’re unable to continue your speech as every step he made just thurst his cock even deeper to your core. You began to clenches, jolting at his every movement.
“Fuck, J-Jaehyun…” You shudder. “Take… it out…!” you meeked as you plea, panting at the side of his ears.
He grabbed your ass, mischievously squeezing it so it’ll send more pleasure to you. Your visions turn blur, drowns in him.
“No,” He said while opening his room, “I don’t want to stop. Not tonight, baby girl. Oh, do you also realize that you’re twitching around me? Naughty girl, I know you want this too.”
He slumped you to his bed. You tried to finally catch your breath, already missing his presence inside you while he’s tying the used condom and took a new one from one of the cabinets on his side table. You finally had time to admire his apartment. It was clean, with no unnecessary items. It’s a very minimal room, you must say. Before you can scan the room even further, Jaehyun’s figure is already on top of you, ready to have more of you.
“Ah…!” You unintentionally let out a loud moan, when all he did was to spread your legs open, sliding his cock on your clit.
Grabbing one of your legs while the other hand supporting your back, Jaehyun looks at you, satisfied with the state of the mess you are. All because of him. He starts to grinds, cueing the beginning of another round.
“Baby don’t forget,” he then leans forward to kiss you, and then his hands start to moves, teasing your clit. “This is mine, all mine. Now, come into me.”
A/N: Did I cringed a bit when I wrote let me introduce you to a new thangs? I PROBABLY DID ASJNABJHBDJHS I’m not sure whether I’m good at writing smutty things but I tried guys honestly I have to close my laptop back and forth because I was very shy when I wrote this? lol anyway I hope you’ll appreciate the tiny lyric placements here and there lol this is so hard BUT WHEW at least it was hot on my head lollllllllllll
#jaehyun scenarios#jaehyun smut#jaehyunxreader#jaehyun fic#jaehyun angst#mafia!au#jaehyun#interlude no more drama#fic jaehyun#angst jaehyun#nct scenario#inmd#neo zone#kick it
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