#'write what you yearn for' has a little bit more spice | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ifidiedinadream · 2 years

Note

Bless you for taking BC prompts! I've loved your writing ever since 🥺💜

So, may I request some Joonas x Reader X Joel!?

Where Joonas and Joel are "sharing" the reader, but their wildest fantasy is to have a threesome with both of them and they try to make it happen somehow?!

Maybe even for a gender neutral or fm reader?

(Absolutely okay if you don't feel comfortable with that!) I'll read it anyway 😘

I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG LIAM hopefully you'll like this enough to forgive me 💕💕

When you tell Joonas, it's with your stomach full and a glass of red wine in hand.

It's date night and he invited you over. He prepared a lavish dinner for you and wore one of his best outfits. It's a lovely night, far from over - you still have to consume the main course and it has nothing to do with food.

Joonas' hand is sliding up your thigh as he's sitting so close to you his body heat is warming you up. He isn't kissing you (your mouth occupied with the rim of the glass), but you can tell his parted lips are yearning for yours.

"Baby," you say instead after taking a sip of wine. "There's something I wanna talk to you about… a suggestion."

He sits back, alert and curious but not preoccupied. "What is it?"

"You know how… Joel and I also… we -"

"Yeah, of course," he says.

"And like I was thinking that maybe someday we could… all together…" you're eyeing the wine in your glass, spinning in circles from an imperceptible movement of your wrist. You take a deep breath. "Like, I was thinking about having sex with you and him at the same time."

Your face is hot, and as much as you'd like to blame the alcohol, you just can't fool yourself. You fail to look at his face.

"A threesome?" you hear him ask.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Naughty," Joonas says, voice teasing. You lift your gaze then, even more embarrassed, but in his face there's fondness behind the more evident amusement. "I'm game."

"You are?"

You knew persuading Joonas wouldn't be a problem. He's curious by nature, if not a little hedonistic; he's self assured and wouldn't turn down some extra spice.

"Hell yeah I am," he confirms. "Have you talked to Joel already?"

Now, that's something that could become a problem. Behind Joel's cool, aloof facade there's a man who's a bit insecure at times, and it's not like he minds you dating Joonas as well, but sometimes you get the feeling he wishes you weren't.

Not because he's jealous, but because he fears you could draw comparisons.

He never talks about it (probably knows it's all in his head and doesn't want to put any pressure on you) but you could pick it up quite early in the relationship. And you've been doing some thinking…

"Not yet," you say.

"You think he'll say yes?" Joonas asks, a bit unsure himself. They're best friends after all.

You shrug, letting him know you share his doubts. "It might take some convincing," you say. "But I wanna try."

***

When you tell Joel, it's after sex.

Some great, restless sex, you've actually been going at it since you woke up this morning. You think it's the perfect time - there's no way he feels inadequate now, after he made you scream all day. Still, you'll be cautious, careful to choose the right words.

"Babe," you say, head on his chest after his heartbeat has evened out from the last orgasm. The sweat is drying on his skin. "There's something I wanna try."

He doesn't answer verbally, just delicately touches the bottom part of your face, searching for your chin to lift it up.

"It has to do with Joonas, if it's okay that I bring him up."

You've had this conversation before - he'd said it's fine, but given the nature of your request, you reckon it's better to pick the careful way.

"Sure, what about him?"

"Would you be down for a threesome?"

You were already looking at him but you raise your head now to see him better. His eyes are wide.

"M - me, you and Joonas?" he asks. You bring a hand to the side of his face, hoping it'll soothe him.

"Yeah," you say. "It's been my wildest fantasy for quite some time… but, you know, you don't have to say yes, I totally understand if you feel uncomfortable."

"Is it - is it 'cause I don't give you enough on my own?" Joel asks. You predicted it, but can't help but widen your eyes at him. How can he think so after today?

"Absolutely not, darling," you tell him, voice calm. "You give me everything. I just think it'd be extremely hot, having both my boyfriends on my body at the same time."

A shiver runs down your spine at the mere thought. Joel looks pensive.

"There's nothing I want more than to please you," Joel mutters, gaze low. "But I'll most likely freak out if I hear you moan louder at something Joonas does… I know myself. I hate being like this but -"

"Hush," you cut him off, finger on his lips. "There's nothing wrong with who you are. That's why I'm saying it's okay if you say no. I won't be mad, it's just a fantasy after all! And sex should feel good for everyone involved."

"But I wanna make all your fantasies come true!"

You lean in and kiss him gently, grateful that he's so thoughtful of your needs. "I actually thought that it could help our relationship," you say when you pull away. "I know you see a threat in Joonas when it comes to sex. It's totally unjustified and maybe a threesome could show you that I enjoy the two of you equally… or rather: differently, but an equal amount."

He's lowered his eyes again, a blush adorning cheekbones and nose. He looks adorable and you can't help but smile.

"Maybe you're right," he says. "We can give it a try but - but -"

"We can stop at any time if you feel like it's becoming too much for you. I'm sure Joonas will understand too."

Joel nods; he trusts his friend. You search for his eyes, cupping his face in both hands when they're looking into yours.

"You can think about it," you say earnestly. "You don't have to answer now. And if you decide you wanna do this, we can discuss negotiations to make it as comfortable as possible for you. Okay?"

He nods, a faint but sweet smile playing on his lips.

***

A couple of weeks pass without either Joonas or Joel mentioning it again. You don't want to put pressure on Joel so you don't bring it up, and it makes no sense to talk about it with Joonas if Joel still hasn't made up his mind.

You're supposed to stay at Joel's place today. It was an exhausting day at work and you can't wait to be in his arms, but as soon as you open the front door a distinct ruckus makes you think you'll have to change your plans.

Is there anyone else in the house?

Joel's voice is loud from across the house (is he in the bedroom?), he sounds upset or maybe nervous. Someone else is speaking quietly, so much so that you can't recognize the voice, and it seems like they're trying to calm Joel down.

You walk over to the bedroom then, curious as to what is going on. What you see makes your jaw drop.

Both your boyfriends on Joel's double bed, Joonas totally naked, Joel with only his underwear on. Joonas is sitting across from him, talking to him patiently, while Joel is blushing hard and pouting, saying things like, No, I don't need a safeword! This isn't fucking BDSM, and Oh God they're gonna dump me so fucking hard after this and you're gonna ridicule me forever, to which Joonas just sighs and facepalms.

You clear your throat so that they acknowledge your presence. They turn in your direction, silent now.

"Uhm, hey, baby," Joonas says. "This was supposed to be a sexy sight but I reckon it must be everything but."

"What's going on here?" you ask.

"Remember the threesome thing?" Joonas says. "Well… surprise, I guess."

You can't help but snort; the sight is indeed more silly than it is sexy. Still, something twists inside you, making you forget about the stressful day altogether.

Before you can forsake yourself to lust though, there's one thing you need to make sure of. You walk over to Joel and sit down next to him, trying not to glance at his chest and groan at how broad it is, maintaining your eyes locked with his instead.

"Joel, baby?" you say. "Are you sure you're okay with this? You know we don't have to."

"Yes… yes," he says. "Joonas and I talked a lot during the past two weeks. I'm ready to do this now."

You look at him earnestly because his words are convincing but his face is not.

"I mean this," he says. "I'll just… stop you if it gets overwhelming. My desire to make you happy is stronger than any fear I may have."

"Oh, love," you say and kiss him. "I appreciate it so much. You know Joonas and I will never judge you; you know you have nothing to prove, don't you?"

Joel nods and smiles. It's like your kiss gave him all the strength he needed.

It's Joel who leans in now, connecting his lips to yours. You let yourself melt into the kiss and then a pair of hands is on your shoulders from behind, peeling off your jacket. You turn around and kiss Joonas, letting Joel pick up where he left off and undress you.

So it begins.

When you’re naked, your mouth still on Joonas', you rest your hand on Joel's cock through the fabric of his boxer briefs. He's getting hard quickly.

You abandon yourself to their touch immediately, lips hands and bodies, and it’s a lot - the sensations doubled and there’s no way you can keep a clear head. That’s how you find yourself on all fours, with no memory of how you ended up like this - Joonas is in front of you on his knees, erect cock creating two 45 degree angles with his legs and with his upper body. You look at it and then at his face, flushed even though you just started, until a strong, intense sensation blooms in the lower half of your body.

Joel has shoved himself inside you from behind, making you hiss at the sudden feeling. Joonas is smiling down at you, loving to see you in such a state. He wastes no time guiding his cock to your mouth, and you happily take it in.

“Is this what you thought it’d feel like, having both of us inside you, baby?” Joonas asks on a waning moan.

You don’t let go of him as you nod at the best of your capabilities. Joonas smirks; Joel, who had kept still, starts moving into you.

Before you can start blowing Joonas in earnest, Joel’s thrusts knock the air out of your lungs, making you whine irresistibly around Joonas’ cock. Joonas grabs at the back of your head forcefully then, having loved the feeling and definitely wanting more. And obviously it comes, because Joel keeps on fucking you, hard and good, and your throat just lets out sounds and vibrations on its own accord.

“Fuck, Joel,” Joonas says, “keep fucking them like this, it feels fucking incredible.”

“Yeah?” Joel asks, breathless. “Are you enjoying it, baby?”

You let go of Joonas’ cock then, with the intention of answering Joel, but at that moment he starts rocking his hips faster, making you bite your lips so hard you almost draw blood. Your watery eyes are closed and you miss the chance to catch a glimpse of Joonas’ face now that you’re far enough from his body to be able to see it. His hand is back on your head instantly, bringing you back where he wants you. You distantly think that Joel seems to have forgotten his doubts and insecurities and you’re happy about it.

You suck Joonas off, can barely tell his and Joel’s moans apart. Your throat is welcoming of him, used to his shape and size, just like your lower body is used to Joel’s cock and his way of fucking. Together it’s inebriating, something more than just the sum of its parts; and it gets even stronger the longer it lasts, the closer your orgasm gets. Both know you so both can tell when you’re close, and you almost expect them to switch positions for some reason, but it doesn’t happen; they keep doing what they’re doing instead, only urging you to be good and come for the both of them with soft, breathy voices broken by moans.

Their voices alone would be enough to push you over the edge, but Joel’s dick is right there to help you reach that point faster. He’s fucking you even harder now, his balls hitting the back of your ass with every thrust, strong hands gripping your waist firmly for leverage. You drop Joonas’ cock when you come, groaning loudly as your whole body shakes, jolts of pleasure coursing through your system like electricity. When Joel comes as well, his moans are distinct, but you’re so sore down there that you barely feel his cum fill you up.

You let yourself fall to your face, exhausted and panting; Joel takes himself out and you feel empty but satisfied.

“Babyboy?” Joonas says quietly. Your eyes open with difficulty, still overwhelmed by your orgasm; a certain tiredness has dawned upon you.

“Mh?” you answer.

“Can I finish inside?”

You find yourself snorting blissfully, as if high. You nod and Joonas goes behind you, taking Joel’s place.

He starts fucking you; it’s hard right from the start but you’re so overstimulated that you’re barely feeling it. Joel is now sitting in front of you, looking flushed and sweaty in his recovering state, absolutely gorgeous; he reaches out to gently touch your face and you smile.

“You’re amazing,” Joel says softly, all but only mouthing it. You grab his hand and squeeze it just as you feel and hear Joonas come, his body, attached to yours, shaking and writhing. Joel squeezes your hand back, grateful - the squeeze telling you everything you need to know. You’re happy and relieved.

When all of you have recovered, you find yourself lying in bed between the two of them, Joonas having asked if you and Joel are both alright, both answers being positive.

“I don’t know what I expected,” Joel remarks, “but it definitely wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be.”

“We told you,” Joonas says. “Always making a fuss about the normalest of things.”

“Normalest?” Joel asks.

“Yeah… come on. You’d do it again if given the chance, wouldn’t you?”

“I… yeah.”

You turn to Joonas and you both chuckle.

“Of course,” Joonas says, before leaning in and kissing you. You sigh in the kiss, holding Joel’s hand on the other side.

You feel so loved.

#my writing #blind channel imagines #blind channel fanfic #blind channel fanfiction #blind channel rpf #rpf #joel hokka x joonas porko x reader #answered

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archersxartxblog · 2 years

Text

the start, master list

Chapter 14 is done! I'm hoping it's fluffy enough. this was a fun chapter to write even if I got stuck here and there. let me know what you think!

Chapter 14

“We will be hiking out to Jubilife village today,” Ingo called out over his shoulder at his two boys as they started to climb out of bed. “Miss Zisu has requested that I help train some of the members of her security corps in the art of Pokemon battling, I also have some errands I want to run as well.”

He turned to gauge their reaction, smiling when he saw that he had the full attention of both twins.

The two of them always did enjoy watching him battle, but he got the feeling that they yearned to join which they never really got the chance to do so, as his opponents tended to fall far too quickly in a single match.

Their only opponents so fair had been Akari and Zisu, and while it was always good to have a rival you could test yourself against. But such things could be rather boring without something to spice it up.

So he figured they would love what he was about to say next.

“Rather than standing around and watching me battle all day, would you two might be willing to step in while I go and run my errands for today?”

As predicted both of them seemed to light up at this, Emmet was practically vibrating at the concept as his smile seemed to brighten even more.

“Really? We get to battle?” Young Ingo spoke up, his eyes wide and his volume rising with every word, his little hands clenching and unclenching into fists with barely contained excitement.

Ingo nodded, the grin not leaving his face. “I’ve already spoken to Miss Zisu about it and she thought it was a good idea as well.”

“Yes, Yes, Yes!” Emmet was practically bouncing, his hands waving in the air unable to further contain his excitement.

Zisu had almost been just as enthusiastic as the twins were about the idea. Battling the twins would provide a bit more training for her troops, teaching them how to battle more than one opponent at a time and the importance of thinking on one's feet when the pressure is on and you were up against pokemon you didn’t know. It would teach them teamwork as well since the twins liked to battle together. She also hoped that with them being just kids that it might teach her men not to be overconfident, as the boys didn’t have the same intimidation power as Ingo did.

That, and she just loved watching the two battle, sharing the same passion for the art of battling that they did.

This would also give Ingo the time he needed to pick up a few things from the village that were harder to get out in the highlands and to browse some of the imports that were coming in from different regions. He’d be able to look at things with a clear head and no worry about needing to make time to head back home right away.

“I guess we’ll have to split up then, maybe one of us does single battles while the other does double battles.” Young Ingo sighed, the excitement in his voice had died down a little as he seemed to get lost in his doubts.

“I am Emmet, I like double battles more, so I would be okay with that,” Emmet answered looking to his brother, confusion written on his face. “But why would we not be able to Multi battle?”

“I don’t see why you couldn’t?” Ingo added, giving his eldest a curious look. “I mean if you want to split up and do it like that I don’t see why not but I don’t see why you couldn’t also do Multi-battles as well?” he tilted his head slightly, wondering what could have possibly brought this up.

Young Ingo looked away, one hand gripping the bicep of his other arm. “Emmet has four Pokemon, I still only have three. So our teams would be uneven unless Emmet let one out but that wouldn’t be fair to his Pokemon.” the boy’s voice wobbled slightly, as if ashamed.

Ah yes…Emmet’s Zoroark.

Truthfully, Ingo liked to forget his youngest son had caught the Baneful Fox in the first place, he’d nearly had heart failure the first time the boy had shown him his latest catch. The only good thing was that the Zororark seemed to have a similar reaction when faced with him as well…seems like he left an impression.

Turns out Zoroarks are somewhat of a rarity in Unova and have a solid dark typing. So upon learning that not only did have now have a Zoroark but it had the strange typing of Normal and Ghost, Emmet had becoming very excited; planning out all kinds of type combinations he could use.

It hadn’t even crossed his mind to tell the boy to release the Pokemon back into the wild. He doubted he’d even have the heart to force his son to leave the Fox back in the highlands, even if it was for his brother’s sake.

Young Ingo on the other hand, still only had the same three pokemon, being a bit more selective with what he chose to catch. It was clear that the boy was a bit overwhelmed by the number of pokemon he was vastly unfamiliar with, wanting to learn as much about different pokemon as he wanted to make a more informed choice. This of course left him a few more empty spaces on his team than what his brother had.

And clearly, his train of thought had run away with that as if it was something to be ashamed of.

Luckily this was something he could fix.

“Your right, that simply won’t do.” Ingo hummed as he walked over to where Gliscor was eating his fill of berries, his partner’s Pokeball in hand. “Gliscor, would you mind lending your strength to Ingo so that he may battle alongside his brother for today?” He asked, kneeling in front of the pokemon.

“Gli?” Gliscor looked up at him, the Pokemon’s ears perking up slightly as it glanced over his shoulder at the boy in question. A wide toothy grin then spread over his face, seeming to realize what was being. “Gliscor Gli!” the scorpion bat cheered launching himself into the air and gliding towards Ingo’s eldest, wrapping himself around the boy and affectionately smooshing his claws through Young Ingo’s hair.

That was a yes if Ingo ever saw one.

“Well, it seems that is settled.” Ingo smiled, as he stood back up, ignoring the creaking in his knees. “Gliscor will fight on Ingo’s team and thus will help even things out. Now there is no need to split up this well-oiled two-car train.” he smiled as he walked back over to the boys and handed Young Ingo Gliscor’s Pokeball. “This way Emmet gets to use all his Pokemon, and Ingo doesn’t have to feel like he’s short-handed. Does that sound expectable?” he looked to the boys to get their approval.

“Yay! We get to battle! we get to Battle!” Emmet cheered, as his excitement reignited.

“But what about-”

“I’ll have Alakazam and the others with me.” Ingo cut the boy off before any more doubts could flow out. “Besides I have no plans on leaving the village once we get there so Gliscor’s absence will not hinder me.”

Young Ingo seemed to consider this before giving a sharp nod of approval, his eyes crinkling upward in his own kind of smile. “I will do my best!”

“Bravo!” Ingo clapped, before turning back towards the hearth to once more focus on making breakfast. “Now come sit down and eat. You’ll need proper fuel for your engines if you plan to be battling all day.”

—

This battle was different than the rest, where others seemed to have fallen rather easily, this particular group of guards seemed able to hold their ground against the twins. Managing to knock down their first set of Pokemon.

It was hard to explain, but Ingo felt a rush of excitement ignite in him that he had only felt when Akari had battled them seriously for the first time. As he watched Gible fall to a well-timed Play rough and Emmet’s Scyther fall to a strong style Air Slash from Ress’s Starly, he could feel his heart beating hard against his ribs.

The rush of adrenaline, the feeling of being completely in sync with his brother, the looming possibility that they could lose this one and it would be completely okay.

It was all so thrilling…

And so very fun!

Was this how their Uncle felt when he battled in his gym?

Their Opponents cheered as they watched the two pokemon fall, being called back to their wielders, celebrating a hard-won victory the others had yet to achieve.

“Don’t get too cocky you two! The battle is over yet!” Miss Zisu announced, smiling as she glanced over towards the twins.

The brothers didn’t even need to look at each other as they moved on to their next Pokemon, already knowing what the plan was.

“Gliscor! All ABOARD!”

“Full steam ahead!”

The twins both called out as they toss their Pokeballs into the arena, Emmet purposely not calling out his pokemon so he could take full advantage of its ability.

The two pokemon formed, Gliscor taking to the air the second it was free and readying itself for battle, Zoroark forming to the right, glancing out at its new surroundings.

“Well I recognize one of those faces, I see Warden Ingo is letting one of his boys use his Gliscor, but who’s this?” Zisu whistled from her place on the sidelines as she looked at the Zoroark. “This a new catch Emmet?”

Ingo watched from the corner of his eye as Emmet’s smile faltered slightly, clearly disappointed that the illusion had failed right off the bat; but that the same time this was Zoroark’s first battle, hiccups were to be expected. “Yep! A verrrry new catch.”

“Well let’s see what this new face can do!” Zisu announced signalling for the battle to continue.

While this was a significant jump in difficulty for Ress and Bren, forcing the two to take on a fully grown Zoroark and Warden Ingo’s own Gliscor. It was also a significant risk for the twins as well.

This was Zoroark’s first time battling alongside a trainer, it was a strong pokemon in its own right. But being such a new catch and Emmet not being familiar with its typing, moves or the pokemon’s general mood.

Meanwhile, Ingo had his father’s pokemon. Gliscor was very well trained and battle-hardened. But Ingo wasn’t overly familiar with the Pokemon’s move set and wasn’t confident enough to use Strong or Agile style moves.

It also didn’t help that the two pokemon didn’t like each other.

It was a risk, but in the end, it could pay off.

“Gliscor! Take out that Starly with Stone Edge!” Ingo wasted no time jumping into the fight, using one of the few moves he knew Gliscor had that could deal critical damage to the flying type.

The Scorpion bat wasted no time as it shot up into the sky and then dived towards the ground, striking it hard enough to cause large spikes of stone to shoot up into the air, leaving the little bird nowhere to run to as it was struck hard.

“No! Starly!” Ress cried as he recalled the pokemon back into its ball.

“Our Turn!” Emmet launched into battle, his smile once more plastered fully on his face as he pointed towards the remaining pokemon. “Zoroark! Use Shadow Sneak on Sylveon!”

The Fox turned and looked at his brother at the sound of his voice, from Emmet to the Sylveon and then back again. Choosing to remain still in silent defiance.

“Z-Zoroark?” once more Emmet’s smile started to fall away, and Ingo winced as he watched the confidence he’d had when giving the command fall away as he realized the pokemon wasn’t listening to him. This was always a risk when catching a fully evolved pokemon, but even knowing that it could happen, Ingo could still imagine that it stung all the same.

“Quick Sylveon! Use Play Rough on that Zoroark! Stong style!” Bren called out, taking advantage of the opening the Fox pokemon left for itself.

Sylveon let out a bark as it charged forward, a pink energy gathering around it as it headed straight for the Zoroark; striking hard a true.

Ingo honestly felt kind of bad, he could have easily ordered Gliscor to intercept the fairy type and create an opening for his brother to attack. But Zoroark was already showing that it would rather loaf around than continue the battle, making any opening made a waste of time. Besides, maybe being hit might make Zoroark a little more inclined to battle.

“Gliscor, use Earth Power on Sylveon!”

“Zoroark, you can’t just stand there, please, use Shadow sneak on Sylveon.”

This time both Pokemon moved to attack, the previous strike hit by the fairy type seemed to finally encourage Zoroark to take a more active role in the battle, causing the Sylveon to be caught between a mighty Earth Power and a…simple Slash attack.

It didn’t matter, either way, Sylveon fainted as returned to its ball.

“Dang, though we had them,” Bren muttered as he glanced towards his partner, as the two planned which pokemon to send out next. “Okay, Gastrodon! Your up!”

“Okay, Bidoof! Try your best!”

Ingo bit down on his lip as he stared at the new pokemon on the field, his heart hammering in his chest as he tried to read through a possible strategy the two might of had. Ingo didn’t consider the Bidoof much of a threat, even if it was well trained and knew a few good moves it no doubt couldn’t hold a candle to his Dad’s Gliscor.

It was the Gastrodon that Ingo was worried about, its Water/Ground typing gave it an advantage and hindered at least one of the moves Ingo knew Gliscor had. it would be even worse if it turned out this Gastrodon knew an ice attack.

Normally he and his brother could work around such problems, easily overcoming them. But since Emmet’s Zoroark wasn’t keen on following commands, it was up to him to try and save this battle.

So his best chance was to focus on the Gastrodon.

Surely the Zoroark could handle a Bidoof on its own, even if it wasn’t listening to Emmet.

—

“Hey Boys!”

Ingo and his brother looked up from where they were feeding their still conscious pokemon to see Miss Zisu walking towards them, a large smile on her face and holding a bag.

“Hi, Miss Zisu.” Ingo greeted the woman, his brother giving the captain a little wave before turning his attention back to his Pokemon. “Is there something we can do for you?”

“Nope! I just came to thank you boys for helping to whip my men into shape!” she answered with a chuckle as walked towards them, kneeling in the sand next to them. “You two really put on a good show, and I think they all learned a thing or two from the two of you.”

Ingo looked away quickly, pulling his hat a little further over his face in an attempt to hide how red his face was getting at the compliment. “It was our pleasure. It’s been so long since we got to battle like that, I don’t think my heart ever beat that fast outside our last battle with Akari. We should be the ones thanking you for letting us participate!”

“Nonsense! You two have a passion for battle that can only rival your father’s, and I love to see it!” Miss Zisu clapped him on the back, nearly bowling him over. “I know I should have been cheering for the success of my men but you two make it hard not to root for you.”

“Even if one of our strategies fell short?” Emmet muttered, his eyes glued to the Pokeball in his hand, belonging to the Zoroark he had caught. Still clearly bothered by what had happened earlier.

Turns out that, No, Emmet’s Zoroark could not handle a simple Bidoof.

…Okay maybe it could have handled a simple Bidoof, but it had chosen not to. In fact, it had just flopped down on the battlefield and taken a nap, allowing the little rodent to go at it without any resistance. It had completely broken up their sync and had put a lot more pressure on Ingo and Gliscor to pull through when eventually Zoroark finally fainted from being hit by Rollout for the fifteenth time.

Truly, Ingo didn't think his brother could be blamed for his Pokémon falling in the end, as at one point Emmet had given up on commands and had ended up begging the Zoroark to do something other than lay around, only for him to be ignored once more.

Ingo could only imagine how bad that would have been in a double battle.

"Aw, it wasn't that bad." Miss Zisu gave his brother a sad but understanding smile. “As you said, it's a pretty new catch. Given enough time, I’m sure you can get that beast under control.” she gave Emmet’s shoulder a pat, her grin widening.

Ingo’s frown tugged downwards a little, not really liking Miss Zisu’s choice of words. No amount of training could force a Pokemon to listen to a trainer, not if the Pokemon believed its trainer was too weak. But he just chalked it up to a misunderstanding on his part.

“I guess,” Emmet mumbled, still staring at the Pokeball dejectedly, no doubt his mind following the same tracks as Ingo’s.

But Ingo knew that Emmet wasn’t a weak trainer, they just needed to prove that to Zoroark somehow.

“Hey, Cheer up!” Ingo looked over again as he heard his brother let out a slight ‘oof’ as Miss Zisu lightly punched his arm. “Even if you don’t have that beast tamed the next time you battle my men, I’ll lend you a member of my team so you won’t have to worry about some layabout bringing you down.”

“Wait, next time?” Ingo spoke up, leaning forward to get a better look at Miss Zisu’s face to make sure he was hearing her correctly. “You mean we could do this again sometime?” he was hoping the answer was going to be yes, even though they had a few bumps during their last battle it had still been really fun.

“Of course!” Miss Zisu laughed, causing a few of the water pokemon gathered by the beach to duck down behind the waves. “It’s great to switch things up every so often to keep my men on their toes!” she put an arm around each of their shoulders drawing them in closer than before. “You two are always free to come battle at my Dojo anytime you like!”

She held them like that for a few more minutes before she finally let go, dusting the sand off her pants as she stood up. “Well! I need to head back to the Dojo. I’ll make sure to let your father know he can find you two out here on Prelude Beach. But before I go, I brought you two a little something.” she then set the bag that Ingo had forgotten that she was holding down in front of them, causing both brothers to lean forward to see what was inside. “Brought some restore items we had back at the Dojo for your Pokemon and a little something for the two of you, as thanks for helping me out today.”

Peering inside Ingo could see a handful of Max revives and a few small cakes in the shape of some kind of fish pokemon.

Quickly Ingo turned back to Miss Zisu to ask if it was okay if they were allowed to have these, only to see that she was already on her way back to the village; not giving them much of a chance to argue.

“We can start reviving our pokemon, now, Yep.”Emmet commented, Ingo turned back to look at his brother who was already reaching into the bag and pulling out some of the revives and a fish cake.

Ingo gave a nod, Miss Zisu probably wouldn’t have given them the revives if she didn’t want them to use them right away, and it would be a waste of her kindness if they just left them. So he gathered up the pokeballs that still contained the unconscious forms of the Pokemon from the battle, releasing them all out into the soft sands of the beach; before helping his brother distribute the revives out amongst them.

From all the battles they had today, there were only four Pokemon, two each, that had been knocked out from the fighting. Gible and Gliscor on Ingo’s side and Scyther and Zoroark on Emmet’s. The rest of their Pokemon had been kept healthy with the use of some berries and other healing items they had brought with them. So they ended up having a few revives left over.

Once they were done, they two headed back to where they had been sitting to indulge in the cake snacks that Miss Zisu had given them, which turned out to have a sweet and tangy filling in them that both twins enjoyed.

Slowly, one by one the fallen Pokemon started coming too. with Gible and Scyther slowly shaking their heads and going over to join some of the other pokemon, while Gliscor decided to pit itself up and fly over towards the twins; resting itself just right so that it somehow managed to be lying on both of them at once.

They had been so focused on watching their other pokemon and trying to get comfortable again with a giant scorpion bat laying on them, that they almost didn’t see a man wearing a long white jacket run at them until Gliscor bowled him over with a hiss.

“Now the illusion ability worked.” Emmet sighed crossing his arms over his chest as he watched the vision of the man fade under Gliscor’s weight, revealing the fox for what he was.

“Gliscor, I know we have a few extra revives left over, but it would be poor resource management if we were to waste them all on Zoroark. So please uncouple from him and return to your seat.” Ingo called out to his father’s pokemon, getting Gliscor to stop its attack and return to his side, letting out a low purr as he scratched it behind the ears.

Zoroark sat up, its hair and fur completely dishevelled from the sudden attack but looked to be no worse for wear as it glared daggers at the twins. Its form suddenly shimmered and twisted until it once more looked like the man in white Ingo had seen the forest, as it once more got to its feet.

“Keep that Pet of ours in Check!” The disguised Pokemon hissed, its power of illusion allowing its words to be understood by the twins, either through some kind of psychic or ghostly power.

“Gliscor isn’t a pet, Gliscor is a battle partner,” Emmet answered not even flinching under the glare of those golden eyes. “Also Gliscor is our father’s pokemon, not ours.”

“Pet’s tend to be a lot more decile than pokemon that travel with trainers. Like the Chimecho at the old woman’s house.” Ingo when into a bit more explanation, not really paying the Zoroark any mind but instead choosing to shower Gliscor with attention. “They don’t battle alongside trainers so they’re not nearly as strong as Battle Partners, like you and Gliscor, who get special training to participate in pokemon battles.”

The Zoroark only growled at this, bearing its teeth at him, which might have been intimidating if he wasn’t wearing a face that looked so close to their father’s.

For a brief moment, Ingo wondered if this was what their uncle had looked like before their father disappeared. Though that would mean their uncle had really ‘Worked out’ his grief through training and completely lost control of his beard.

“I don’t need special training to be strong! I already am!”

“Big talk for a pokemon that got steamrolled by a Bidoof.”

Ingo heard his brother laughing at that comment, feeling rather proud at managing to make his brother smile.

“That only happened because your smiley little double over there was weighing me down!”

“Really?! I thought the reason was that you fell on the battlefield like an underweight Snorlax.” Ingo snot back, not trying to offend Zoroark but more or less just trying to make this brother laugh some more. “You would have done better if you listened to Emmet, honestly.”

Finally, he turned to look at the disguised pokemon, who was much closer than he had realized and looked him right in his golden eyes. “I would recommend ceasing this argument, I am ten years old and have a twin brother. I can argue with you all week and I can guarantee the fire in your engine will die out much faster than it will mine.”

The Zoroark let out a sharp growl that was quickly mirrored by Gliscor and Ingo felt his father’s pokemon start to tense up under his touch.

“Prove it!”

“That I can argue better than you?” Ingo tilted his head in confusion.

“No!” Zoroark shot back, keeping its eyes trained on him. “Prove to me, that one of your so-called ‘Trained Partners’ is so much stronger.”

Ingo held eye contact for a few more moments, trying to decide if he should accept the challenge or not.

On one hand, this was his brother’s pokemon that they just revived and no matter what they would probably end up wasting more healing items on whoever lost the battle. Zoroark was also a strong pokemon, there was a chance he could lose this battle himself.

On the other, Zoroark had no respect for humans or pokemon that battled alongside them, and Ingo highly doubted that that would change if he backed out of the challenge. He would never listen to his brother in battle and it would end up being an uphill battle just to change that.

There was also the fact that Ingo was pretty sure the fox had insulted his brother, and as the older sibling he couldn’t just stand for that.

“Okay.”

Slowly Ingo stood up, pulling himself free from Gliscor and brushing the sand off his pants as he started to make his way over to their Pokemon.

“Ingo.” Emmet let out a slight whine as he moved, giving him a worried look as he watched his brother go.

“Don’t worry Emmet.” Ingo laughed as walked toward the Pokemon he wanted to use. “There are only three kinds of Ghost Pokemon in this world. The Nice but Misunderstood ones, the Jerks, and the Malicious spirits. I’m pretty sure Zoroark is just a Jerk, and I know someone who knows how to conduct jerks back into the hump-yard.”

Tactically speaking Ursaring was a better choice for this battle, his Normal typing would stave off any ghost attacks that Zoroark might know. Or even Gible since would have bite at his disposal. But Zoroark wanted proof that one of his trained Pokemon could be stronger than him, so who best to choose than his oldest partner?

Carefully Ingo bend down and tapped the little candle’s head, being careful of her flame. “Hey Litwick, I know we have been battling all day, but do you think you’d be up for one more? I’ll make sure you get one of dad’s muffins for your efforts.” he gestured towards Zoroark and offered his hand out to her, which she gladly took.

“Really? That small fry? This will be easier than I thought.” Ingo heard Zoroark laughing behind him, but he simply Ignored the other pokemon as brought Litwick up close to his face and let her lean in.

“We’re at a little bit of a disadvantage here, our ghost-type moves won’t work on him but he will be super effective on us. So we’ll have to be careful and focus on using Fire-type moves, but I know we can win this,” he whispered to his most trusted partner before setting her back down on the ground and taking his place behind her.

The Zoroark practically sauntered over, a smug grin on his borrowed face before he suddenly just charged towards them, a dark energy gathering around his claws.

Thinking quickly Ingo quickly issued a command to his pokemon. “Litwick! Used Will-O-Whisp! Then try to get out of the way!”

Balls of purple flame surrounded the little candle and shot off at her attacker just as Zoroark’s claw struck the ground hard, kicking up a cloud of dust in its wake.

“Litwick!”

The dust cleared enough that Ingo could see Zoroark’s claws buried deep into the sand below, just inches away from Litwick’s form, just barely missing her. But Zoroark’s illusion had faded indicating that he’d indeed been hit by Litwick’s attack, and Ingo could see small embers of flame starting to catch on his fur.

Good, that would help whittle down some of Zoroark’s health.

“Now Litwick! While its claw is stuck in the Stand! Use a Strong Style Inferno!”

Zoroark’s eyes went wide as he seemed to realize a few seconds too late that the sand had indeed trapped its claw, and that it was effective leaning over the little candle. There was no way for Litwick to miss at this point blank range and Ingo was going to use this to the fullest.

“Lit”

“Zoroa!”

“WIIIIIICK!”

A powerful stream of flame erupted from Litwick, completely engulfing Zoroark in fire and throwing him back towards where his trainer was watching, the pokemon lying prone for several seconds, seeming to have been taken aback by the display before it hopped back into battle and latching once more into a charge.

Strong style moves were always good for causing the most damage but the downfall was that it tired your pokemon out a bit, making it much easier for your opponents to get in a second hit. And Zoroark seemed to take advantage of this as he came in with another Shadow claw attack, causing Litwick to cry out in pain.

“Litwick!” The battling trainer cried out at the sound of his partner in pain, running in closer as he saw another attack charging up. “Common Litwick, you have to get out of there! Try and use Fire spin to buy yourself some space!”

But it was no use.

Litwick wasn’t fast, even on a good day, as her little waxy body tended to drag on the ground at a Slugma’s pace. And Zoroark was already towering over her, his claw dripping with a dark substance that seemed to chill the air around him.

“Zoroa, Zoroark?”

“Lit wick lit.”

Zoroark snarled and brought his claw down hard on top of Litwick.

“Litwick!”

There was a sudden bright glow from underneath Zoroark’s claws that only seemed to glow brighter by the second, almost so that Ingo felt he had to look away. A fire soon erupted from the ground, swirling brightly up into the air, engulfing Zoroark in its flames and knocking him back.

Ingo brought a hand up to shield his eyes from the light and heat as he forced himself to turn back towards the battlefield, watching as the fire slowly died down.

“Lampent!”

There floating several feet off the ground where Litwick once stood, with long black steel arms and a glass face that now contained a glowing purple flame.

Ingo stared up in awe slowly approaching the Lamp pokemon. “Litwick?”

“Lamp?” The pokemon quickly turned to face him, her two yellow eyes in clear view.

Ingo blinked hard, feeling his eyes starting to whelm up with tears, as realization finally started to kick in and he honestly hoped that his emotions were reflecting on his face, even if it was just for this one time. “Bravo! Litwick! No! Lampent! You evolved!” he didn’t care if he was being loud anymore, as he reached up and grabbed hold of Lampent’s arms, pulling her close and spinning them around.

The battle was completely forgotten at this point because Litwick had evolved into Lampent, and that was just far more exciting.

“I can’t wait to show Dad and Akari and everyone what you look like now!” Ingo cheered spinning around once more before coming to a stop, the dizziness finally getting to him.

“About time She evolved.” Emmet practically tackled him to the ground, joining in on the celebration. “Dad Will be verrry excited, Yep, I think he’s been waiting for this for a while. since Tynamo evolved to Eelektrik.” his twin smiled up at Lampent, taking in her new form with a clear view. “You were verrrry slow, but that’s okay, you got to your next stop and you look Verrry cool! Not as cool as Eelektrik though.”

“Lampent pent!” Lampent chimed spinning around at the comment.

“Alright…so maybe there is some merit to this trainer thing after all.” a voice spoke up, drawing their attention back to the Zoroark that was picking himself up off the ground. His illusion just barely held it together as he tried to fight off the burn. “Guess it couldn't be all nonsense.”

To this Emmet just rolled his eyes. “I am Emmet. Thank you for not knocking Zoroark out. Now excuse me while I go heal my jerk.” he excused himself quickly before jogging over towards his injured pokemon, pulling out some burn heal from his pack.

“I still don’t think there is any way a human can make me stronger, but another pair of eyes in a fight couldn't hurt. Ow! Watch it!”

“Hold still, please. This will sting, but it will help with your burns.” Emmet instructed as he applied some of the ointment to the pokemon’s arm. “Sadly it can’t do anything for the fact that you lost to a Bidoof.”

“Hey!”

Ingo looked away from his brother and turned his attention back to Lampent, carefully reaching up to take her arm as he noticed a few dents on her surface. “Common, we should get you healed up as well. I also promised you a muffin, though I’m not sure how you're going to eat it.”

—

He walked slowly down the path towards Prelude beach, being careful not to upset the basket of goods on his back.

Captain Zisu had informed him a few hours ago that his boys would be waiting for him by the pier, and not too long after that he saw a column of flames shoot up into the sky, clearly even after a day of battling they still were ready for more.

At least they were outside the village so there shouldn’t be any worry about the commander getting all twisted up about the display.

All and all Zisu had seemed pleased by the day's events, proclaiming that she excitingly awaited for the boys to come back to her Dojo to battle once more. Ingo was sure that twins would have their own exciting tales to tell and he looked forward to hearing about them later tonight when he was making dinner.

The moment he rounded the corner, he spotted twins recalling their Pokemon back into their Pokeballs, and cleaning up any mess that may have been left behind.

Young Ingo was the first to spot him, stopping what he was doing in exchange for running up to him with what looked to be a new Pokemon floating by his shoulder. Emmet soon joined him in the short sprint.

“Dad!”

“Safely checks Ingo.” the Warden laughed as he tried to get the boy to slow down so he didn’t risk tripping.

“Sorry! Dad! Look Litwick evolved into Lampent!” his eldest called out, rushing towards him, joy clear in his voice.

“Oh?” Ingo glanced around quickly in search of the little candle that was normally perched on a shoulder or carried by hand, his eyes bouncing from his sons to the Pokemon floating in the air next to them, twirling freely in the wind.

A mostly black body made out of what looked like black steel, and a large glass globe that contained a ghostly purple flame, capped off with a black steel cap. Bright yellow eyes smiled back at him from behind the glass.

This used to be Litwick?

“Oh! Bravo! Very-”

There was something hauntingly familiar about this pokemon’s form, like something he had seen before.

“...Good.”

For what felt like a brief moment, Ingo’s mind went elsewhere as visions of a pokemon with long twisted metal arms, and a global-like body danced in front of him, her purple flames so feeling so close that he could almost reach out and touch them.

“Dad?” Young Ingo’s voice pulled him back to reality, the excitement in the boy’s voice having drained away to be replaced with worry, causing Ingo to realize he’d been staring for some time. Completely zoned out.

Ingo blinked a few times to try and clear the haziness from his vision, his face oddly wet as he focused again on his boys, who just continued to stare up at him worriedly.

He didn’t need to try and force a smile as one found its way onto his lips as he wiped his eyes and pulled both of them in for a tight hug.

“Bravo, boys, Bravo.”

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nothwell · 8 months

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Thank you to Sarah for this heartwarming review of Fiorenzo!

No one writes yearning, unconditional love quite like Sebastian Nothwell - this was an absolute masterpiece (arguably, his best yet).

Right off the cuff, Sebastian's resplendently lyrical prose throws us into a colorful world with even more colorful characters. The setting is beautiful and with every word I read I felt like I was being transported to a different realm all-together. Every new place we visit in the story had my jaw on the floor - what I wouldn't give to visit even one of these paintings-come-to-life. There were romantic little details and nods to history that I so appreciated. Nothing pleases me more than a writer who does their research - the medical accuracy alone left me delighted. Obviously, certain liberties are taken in a work of fiction, but the way that Nothwell interweaves those liberties with historical points of reference is seamless and is something that I've come to associate with his works specifically. Sometimes you can feel the author's enthusiasm through their writing and it just makes everything that much more enjoyable.

There is such sweetness in all of Nothwell's past characters and Fiore & Enzo are no different. I am in love with these two selfless, soft, sweet idiots. In every book he writes, there is a large emphasis on, rather than loving someone in spite of their faults, loving them faults and all. His characters are always so endearingly flawed (as is any person) and the unconditional love they have for each other makes my heart full to bursting.

But this one, folks, has a delicious bit of spice to balance out the sweetest that I ate up like a woman starved. There are BDSM elements in this one that are slightly more stark than his previous books and I am here for it.

NOT TO MENTION THE HURT/COMFORT. UGHHHH. Bury me with a copy of this book when I die because it's everything I could want and I must retain the ability to read it again and again until the end of time. I never wanted it to end. There are a few questions left unanswered but, if I know Nothwell's writing style like I think I do, we should hopefully be coming back to Fiore & Enzo's story and some of those questions will have answers.

The only thing that could eclipse my adoration for this book is Fiore & Enzo's adoration for each other, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

FIORENZO is a queer fantasy-of-manners romance featuring secret identities, hurt/comfort, and a happily-ever-after. Out now wherever fine books are found!

Amazon • Apple Books • Barnes & Noble • Kobo • Smashwords

#sebastian nothwell #mm romance #gay romance #historical romance #mlm romance #kind words #queer romance #queer fantasy #fantasy romance #romantasy #romantic fantasy #historical fantasy #fantasy of manners #mannerpunk #hurt/comfort #whump #fiorenzo

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the-pen-is-mighty-and-so-are-you · 9 months

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A petit cup of tea - from wp blog, 17/11/2019

Now, let's return to the (relatively) real world for a moment; I know I probably left you with a few questions with my last post. Why is a famous writer going to meet up with a child? What exactly are the worlds of the first and second section? Where is Busan? And I did say I would explain. So, I'll sprinkle that somewhere in here, like a little bit of ketchup on your sandwich to spice up a café review - which, indeed, this shall be!

The café in question again happens to be in my hometown which, considering I've technically moved on to pursue the high-end city life of a student, I've been returning to quite a bit. My visit took place on yet another productive-seeming Friday: I'd been flitting up and down the high street between charity shops, desperately searching for a job interview outfit, trying to find one that struck a balance between a neutral-yet-trendy and mature-yet-youthful look, one that really shouted, "Hello! I'm energetic and fashionable and perfect to work behind your ultra sleek bar in your ultra sleek club!" It was not easy - by the time the feat was achieved, it was past three o'clock, and I hadn't yet had lunch.

Usually I would be in a barely-contained foul mood, slouching and suffering from an empty stomach. However, I had also purchased A Very Nice Coat (although some pesky folk might insist it's a jacket), and so I made my way down the high street slope with the confidence of someone wearing something that actually fits them. In fact, after such a wondrous experience with the coat, I've considered that perhaps I just need to buy everything I have in my wardrobe but a couple of sizes smaller. I don't need more expressive clothes, I need clothes that express my actual size. It's a small, but hugely important aspect that can help you live in your skin a bit better.

Huh. Maybe I'll turn into a 'beauty blogger'.

Wardrobe revelations aside, by the time I'd made the march down to the foot of the high street hill, I was yearning for a wholesome lunch - and Le Petit Café certainly did not disappoint. I remember visiting the place when it was still fresh and new around a year ago, and since then it's clearly only improved. With an upside down bicycle in the window and artwork for sale on the walls, it's a nice, quietly hipster venue with a tasty menu: speaking of which I had a delicious cheddar and cauliflower soup, the likes of which I've never had so creamy. Of course I had the mandatory hot drink with it, a chai latte (pictured) which matched in creaminess. I enjoyed both too much to focus on the laptop I'd put with good intent in front of me, and after I'd consumed both the friendly staff seemed eager for me to move onto my second course - I got the sense that it wasn't a place intended for lone reflection. The fact that I wasn't with someone seemed to compel the staff into making up for it by frequently approaching me, urging me onto the next course. I thus enjoyed a 'caramelita' for pudding: spiced caramel with white chocolate chips and an oat base, and so sweet that I had to hide half of it in a napkin to finish later.

But, let's pretend I did in fact get something productive done on my laptop that afternoon - that I tapped away and worked on writing the explanation I said I would provide for my last piece of writing. Well, here is what I wrote then, definitely copy-and-pasted from a separate document, and definitely not written at the same time as the rest of this post.

When considering how best to 'explain' the context in my life within which My Dream Korea was written, I am faced by two paths - the Dream and the Korea. The latter is perhaps more deserving of its own post another day, so I will focus on the former.

Writers are all full of dreams, I think. Well, all people are, to an extent. Mine have proven particularly strong, propelled by a continuous imagination and occasional inspiration. This has formed a sort of 'dream world' in my mind. It's different from the worlds I create for my stories, because this world is entirely selfish - it's main purpose is for me to explore possibility in alternate realities, and virtually satisfy my deepest desires. Flying, for example. Leaping off a tall city building in slow motion, stretching my arms out as large black wings grow and feather and flex their muscles on my back, swooping down to a bridge and then nosediving into the water only to break through, as I pierce the surface of the water, into the sky of another location. Things like that - anything is possible, and I can zoom in on and replay any detail I like, like designing, directing and acting in my own film, except it's a form of life.

I am fully aware of the deep-rooted psychological facts about myself this can reflect. I know that it is probably a defense mechanism, given as it is most used when I need to restore hope for myself. It's also constantly changing, and sometimes when I'm going through a period of extreme change, it can take me a while to find what thrills me. Recently I've been in a kind of limbo, unable to create and settle on a new idea - which is why I wrote some of the world down, to try and focus my brain enough so that it can enjoy that side of non-reality again.

My Dream Korea opens with a version of myself that represents some of my darkest moments, suffering through feelings of desperation and frustration, and yearning so much for hope and happiness that I would intoxicate myself to try and reach the 'other side'. It is a hyperbole that serves to contrast with the warmth of the dream world I then describe. And then, what I write is really just trying to convey the blissful experience I had in the real world, when I visited South Korea - when I felt like I was living so contently that it became a dream while I stayed there. This version of my dream world is trying to preserve and maintain those ultimate feelings of happiness from my memories, while exploring what my future could have been if I had stayed there a bit longer. In a sort of loose, fanfiction-style, 'if I was already a famous author' kind of way.

So I'm exploring this world along with you, visitor. The next chapter isn't written - I don't know what will happen next. In this way, my dream world, and My Dream Korea, is a form of life. I hope you will join me on its journey.

Speaking of journeys, the trip I made to Le Petit Café certainly paid off. It felt far warmer and more personal than the previous chain cafés, as I expected, although the downside of that was they didn't leave me in peace to get any writing done. It would have been perfect, however, if I had gone there with the intent of socialising - so it would be a good place for you and me to catch up over a cup of chai someday. We can always sneak a bourbon in when they're not looking, or convene in the toilet to have a biscuit break. Sound good? Yeah, I think it's a plan. Anyway, overall, I give it:

8/10 petit croissants

#this cafe no longer exists #i don't know why i analysed the last post when i literally analyse it here #creative writing

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whirlybirbs · 2 years

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can I ask u a personal question? it’s just that I love the way you write about love…how it’s in all of the little things — the banter, the gestures, the affirmations. and I love reading about love, because I’m a hopeless romantic but only for the type of love you showcase so well — safe, warm and homely.

so what I want to ask is, how much of what you write translates to real life? with your personal relationship experience, do you find that writing about love is vastly different to how you experience it in real life? like does having relationship experience enlighten you on how to write love, or does writing still involve a lot of romanticisation?

i love love love writing about love even though I’ve yet to experience it for real myself. and reading your stories truly fills me with so much hope but I’m also trying to stay realistic at the same time…so I would love so much to hear your thoughts on this!! (pls don’t feel pressured to give advice! i’d just love to hear your own observations/thoughts)

i have been stewing over this ask like a little potato in a crockpot all day long.

honestly, i've been writing about love — or even just emotional intimacy — for as long as i can remember. romance as a whole has always made me super insane, verifiably delirious even, which is a funny thing.

it's funny because i firmly believe that every writer leaves a part of themselves behind in their pieces. for me, that was always chasing those exact things you've mentioned above: safe, warm comfort and a feeling that is like home.

without psychoanalyzing myself on main too much, it's safe to say my environment all throughout my life (and currently, still) did not have much of these things at all. physical affection and verbal affirmations are in short supply when you're in a constant state of survival mode. my parents firmly believed "keeping me out of it" which resulted in a lot of isolation as a kid that i still struggle with. my room, and in turn the stories i wove alone, were my escape out of the shittiest nights alive.

i always write what i want when it came to love. the daring adventure, the slow burn, the enemy who saw all my faults and still fell for me — the heroine, and always a love that remained steady and true despite the hardship.

i don't know if i've ever really been in love — at least not the kind i write about. and, to that point, not the kind that i've grown to realize i deserve. further more: the kind i will not settle any less for.

i take things from my past relationships (good or bad or awful or wonderful) — feelings and emotions mostly — that have been ingredients to that love i chase. like i said, those pieces of me as a writer get tossed into my work often.

i think that's the funny thing now, especially as i was crafting these very raw and honorific stories dedicated to love persisting while in my last relationship. there's this line that you walk as an artist when romanticizing a brush of fingertips is a craft – you find yourself thinking is this just how reality is? dull? stagnant? forced? is this your life now, the same saturday morning lived over and over and over and over in a small town? trapped in a flat, bound loop of time?

and then you die?

i don't think it is. i don't think love 'in real life' has to be any different from the romanticization of love in my writing — but i do think growing to a point where you understand you deserve that sort of love is the most important part.

i've been happiest in the moments where i've romanticized my life. when i've given myself the adventurous love that write about.

#this is just a tangent but #this was such a thoughtful question #'write what you know' can be loaded #'write what you yearn for' has a little bit more spice #ESPECIALLY about love #don't mind the casual tea about my last relationship here i think about it so often it drives me mad #this does not apply to getting railed tho besties i gotta be honest #kjnasdjfhbsdjhfAHHAHAHAAHHA

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dootdootwriting · 3 years

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CONGRATS FOR 600+!!! I SAW UR EVENT SO IF I HAVE THE CHANCE, IM TAKING IT

The whole alphabet for Thoma. (Gn reader)

PLEASE dont overwork yourself though. You dont have to do it all if youre tired or something. Thank you and congrats!

600+ writing event

ty for ur request anon!! also you're funny. overwork myself? how could i possibly do that when i'm already avoiding all of my schoolwork? entire alphabet for thoma coming right up! (under the cut for length)

fluff alphabet with thoma; gn reader; no warnings apply

A-Activities (what do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?)

- thoma enjoys pretty much any type of shared activities with you, but ultimately his favorite kind is any that involves food. he'll go on tours of inazuma city with you to find the best places to get ice cream, or he'll buy a whole bunch of food and see what kind of dishes you can make together! nine times out of ten it ends up being really weird and a little gross, but it's fun and he loves spending time with you.

B-Beauty (what do they admire about their s/o? what do they think is beautiful about them?)

- he admires your ambition, your humor, and your own personal flair. he loves the person you are, and almost everything that goes into that, but he specifically loves the unique little traits that make you you.

C-Comfort (how would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?)

- his first instinct is to give you a big hug or rub your back, but only if he knows you're okay with it and that it would actually help. his first goal is to make sure you're okay, and then his second goal is to cheer you up: with bad jokes and kisses, usually

D-Dreams (how do they picture the future with their s/o?)

- thoma isn't super picky with how you two end up in the future, as long as you're together and happy. he wants to grow old with you, ideally, though however you do that will decide itself.

E-Equal (are they the dominant one in the relationship or rather passive?)

- thoma is used to taking the lead in your relationship, but he's not necessarily more dominant or anything - he's just excited to be with you and wants to make sure you're just as happy as he is. your relationship is pretty balanced!

F-Fun (what do they do for fun with their s/o? what's their idea of a fun day out?)

- he loves loves loves going out on walks, especially in the city, and just finding random things that seem fun to do. there are a bunch of people playing cornhole over there, how about you guys join in for a game? they're selling a new kind of hotpot at that restaurant, better give it a try!

G-Gratitude (how grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?)

- he's definitely aware of everything you do for him, and he's also very grateful that you're with him. he makes sure to let you know that every day.

H-Honesty (do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?)

- i think the only time thoma would ever keep something from you on purpose is if it would be somehow dangerous for you to know. other than that, he likes to make sure you're aware of everything you need to be. he likes his privacy like anyone else, but he also values communication.

I-Inspiration (did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?)

- being with you hasn't necessarily changed him (aside from the fact that you two are almost always seen together now) but it's definitely improved his mood a lot, not that it was ever really bad. he also likes to show off more now that you're around...

J-Jealousy (do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?)

- thoma gets jealous relatively easily but is also not one to step in unless it's a situation in which you seem uncomfortable. he trusts you wholeheartedly, which sometimes means he has to keep himself from getting overly worried.

K-Kisses (are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?).

- he's a very good kisser. thoma's kisses are playful and sweet, or alternatively full of reassurance and love. your first kiss was a little rushed and he was a little nervous (not that he'd ever admit that) but he knew it was the right time.

L-Love confession (how would they confess to their s/o?)

- confesses accidentally while watching you do something that's actually pretty normal. you tap him on the shoulder and ask where he wants to go for lunch and he just kinda stares at you and then says "man i love you" and you're like. what. but he plays it off like he TOTALLY MEANT to say that and definitely didn't slip up.

M-Mornings (what's it like waking up with them? do they sleep late or wake up before the sun rises?)

- lazy lazy lazy. thoma knows he has to go to work but why would he do that when you're next to him all curled up into him? he can't just abandon you like that! fortunately the kamisatos are very forgiving, so when he shows up late they don't give him an earful.

N-Nicknames (what do they call their s/o?)

- babe/baby, sunshine, and occasionally sweetheart but usually just to tease you

O-On cloud nine (what are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?)

- when thoma first realizes he's in love with you it hits him like a truck and he has to sit down for a second to process it. after that he hangs around you a lot more often, and it's pretty obvious to anyone watching that he's in love.

P-PDA (how are they with PDA? is it fun to them or are they more reserved with their affection?)

- thoma's comfortable with pda and likes to tease you with it sometimes, unless you're someone who absolutely hates it, in which case he'll settle with handholding. otherwise, he'll give you random light kisses on the cheek or will grab you and pull you into him at random points throughout the day.

Q-Quirk (some random thing they do when they're with you for no reason in particular)

- his nose scrunches when he's trying not to laugh at you, which makes you laugh at him, which makes him laugh at you. congratulations! you have achieved pile of laughter.

R-Romance (how romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?)

- thoma is very romantic and also values friendship with his partner as well. he's sort of a mix between cliché and creative - while he will definitely take you out for a fancy dinner and lend you his jacket, he will also take you out to the lake and push you in or make a date out of who can spot the most dogs on a day out.

S-Support (are they helping their s/o achieve their goals do they believe in them?)

- one hundred percent he believes in you and will do his best to help you achieve any goals you have. ok thats the end of this headcanon i have nothing else to say GHCCN

T-Thrill (do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship or do they prefer certain routine?)

- thoma loves trying new things! he doesn't need things to change constantly (and also that might be very tiring for him) but he does like to switch things up a little.

U-Understanding (how good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?)

- forgot to change it from "good" to "well." WHOOPS. anyway

- thoma is very empathetic, so he's quick to understand how you're feeling, though it'll take him a little longer to understand why it is you're feeling like that. once you explain to him, he knows just what to do, whether it be celebrate with you on a big win or comfort you or give you some space.

V-Value (how important is the relationship to them? What is its worth in comparison to other things in their life?)

- it's SO important to him. having you in his life is one of the most important things to him. he's also been with the kamisatos for a really long time though, so thoma will need a little bit to sort out where his priorities are. rest assured that you're definitely up there.

W-Wild card (a random fluff headcanon?)

- thoma really likes the feeling of you running your fingers through his hair. bonus points if you wash it for him (he'll return the favor)

X-XOXO (Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?)

- if you're ever available for affection, thoma will take advantage of it. he loves being close to you and generally just the feeling of loving and being loved in return, especially when that incorporates physical affection. listen he just really likes being kissed.

Y- Yearning (how will they cope when they are missing their partner?)

- when you're gone thoma will surround himself with things that remind him of you. he'll also occasionally call your name or say things to you absentmindedly before remembering you're not there at present. poor guy... he'll be very happy once you're home.

Z-Zeal (are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind?)

- it depends on the lengths. the worst case scenario for thoma would be if he somehow had to choose between you and his work - that would terrify him, even though there's no way it would ever happen. other than that, since you're way up on his priority list, there's not much that he wouldn't do for you.

#doot's 600 event!#thoma x reader #tohma x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #fluff alphabet #fluff #thoma hcs #thoma fluff alphabet #thoma #tohma #gi thoma

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smallraindrops-blog · 3 years

Note

Hi, it me. I’ve been thinking of an idea for Wake me from this dreaming I think you’ll like. Basically Hypnos has kept a bottle of nectar that Zagreus gave him and gives it to Y/N, then becomes a bit more physically affectionate, within Y/N’s limits of course. Which confuses him a bit and after a few days he makes the mistake of asking Zagreus and Thanatos what the significance is. Don’t worry about how long it takes to write, I don’t mind waiting. Thanks again, you’re the best!

Wake Me from this Dreaming

Word count: 6.1k

Warning: unwanted touching from an oc, near kisses, romantic/sexual tension, yearning, no beta.

A/n: thank for this request! It was really fun to do and I hope I got close to what you were looking for. Don't hesitate to shoot another one!

Quick note: this is not how real life ptsd work and fighting is not real, just stuff off of Google. Please understand everything is fictional.

Part one

Part two

Context for the weasel actor thing

The cool air was a welcome sensation after the heat of the crowded party. You leaned against the rail and just tried to enjoy the cool night, full of stars and a waning moon. You stared down at the homes below, bright and busy for the festival and when the wind drifted toward you, you smelt spiced meat being cooked.

You wished that you were home right now with your parents, having dinner or reading. And not in this stiff, too colorful outfit at this too loud party.

You hated these kinds of events, full of politicians and social climbers sucking up to your parents or worse, to You.

At least none of the politicians or generals at this party tried to talk your parents into a marriage arrangement.

“Mind if I join?” A voice came from behind you, you glanced back to the young man that spoke. He smiled warmly as if greeting an old friend, perfect blonde curls failing almost in front of his dark eyes. You had forgotten his name but you remembered he had several of the ladies at the party glared daggers at him.

You shrugged, “If you wish, it makes no difference to me.” And returned to watching the town. You heard faint laughter from the party and rolled your eyes, just a few more hours until you could go home and get some rest.

The man matched your lean on the rail, “Thank you. It’s a lovely night.”

You stay silent, uncaring if you’re being rude. But he didn’t seem to mind, still smiling. You could feel his eyes on you and after a few minutes, you met his stare with a raised eyebrow.

“Is there a reason you are out here, staring at me?” You asked icily. Instead of getting embarrassed or ashamed, he just smirked. Your hands tighten on the rail as he got closer, “Maybe I like looking at you, certainly a better sight than anyone in there.”

His hand touched your waist and you froze for half a second before you grabbed his wrist and squeezed. Hard.

"Don’t touch me.” You growled.

His dark eyes met yours and after a few moments, he shrugged with a grimace, “My apologies. I’ve heard that you prefer a gentlemen's company and well, you’re very easy on the eyes.”

You took a step back after letting go and turned back to the party.

“If I have a preference, it certainly isn’t you.” You told him flatly as you rejoined the party.

“You have stolen food from the cook but still haven't bothered to actually sit down and enjoy the lounge?" Hypnos asked one day.

He floated up close to you, blocking you in with his hands on his hips. The disapproving frown he gave you only made your mouth twitch into a grin.

Something that Hypnos noticed and he pouted. You had to force yourself to look away from his mouth. There was something boyishly charming about his pout.

You probably should be concerned that Hypnos was the only thing you could focus on lately. You knew better than to indulge but when the little god was literally in your face, it was easy to forget everything else.

You shrugged, "First off, I borrowed those. Second, It's not like I need to eat or drink. Why waste time doing that?"

Hypnos gasped,"You are just as bad as Thanatos. Wait no. You're worse. At least he will have a drink with Meg or Zagreus."

He pointed a finger in your face, "We are going to the lounge. I will buy the gyros and you will get the drinks."

You grabbed his wrist gently with a laugh, and glanced back at Hypnos."Alright, only because lord Hades is gone. And just one drink."

The one drink became three for Hypnos. You slipped on your one drink, not intended to finish it. It wasn't something you did often while alive, and you weren't sure what effects it would have on you now.

If anything, it was more fun to watch Hypnos enjoy himself.

Hypnos floated over with two plates of gyros and plopped down. "It is a good thing you're already dead or otherwise I think the cook would have poisoned these.” He told you as he slid a plate toward you.

You muttered a thanks and Hypnos bit into his with a pleased hum. He gestured for you to eat and you picked your gyro up and took a small bite. “It’s good.” You said surprised and without really thinking about it, took a second, bigger bite.

You chuckled at Hypnos’ triumphant face, his cheeks full with food. “You look like one of those rodents.”

He finished crewing, “Tell me, what did you like to eat when you were alive?” Hypnos took another bite.

You copied him as you thought. You swallowed, “I wasn’t a picky eater, I would pretty much eat anything in front of me. Eels, black soup, stuff like that. But there was this one place with this spiced fig that was pretty good.”

“None of you cook?” Hypnos asked.

“No, we had cooks, servants. ” You shrugged. “I liked it when they had tuna.”

Hypnos laughed, “Riveting, Y/n.”

“Dinner wasn’t a big thing at our house. My fathers had these parties they had to attend to which you'd love. They had all kinds of desserts, like Loukoumades, ever had those?”

Hypnos shook his head. And you continued, “Little balls of dough that are fried and soak in honey afterwards. you never have those down here?”

“No.” Hypnos whimpered, “Those sound amazing. The only reason we are able to get those potatoes is because Charon has a guy and they last for a while before going bad.”

You took another bite, an idea beginning to form in your mind. The conversation drifted onto other matters and you let Hypnos chatter away as you finished off your meal.

Hypnos stopped suddenly and stared at you. "Are you really going to let me just ramble to you about the shades I met? Even about that actor who said the weasel thing?"

You took a sip of your drink then you shrugged, "I like hearing you talk, especially when I can hear the excitement. At least you care about stuff outside the stack of paperworks Hades tries to drown us in. "

Hypnos looked at the wall art and you found yourself following along.

"Other people, even my brothers, would have told me to shut up by now.” Hypnos murmured carefully, his hand curled under his chin.

"Hypnos, you are the last person in the world I would say that to." You glanced back at him,”And I am not other people, you know that.”

Hypnos pushed his plate away, slipping on the wine. He tapped on the rim before he peeked up at you, and you tell he was resisting the urge to bite on his thumbnail.

You could feel something change in the air but couldn’t pinpoint what. You never developed the social grace needed for moments like this.

“I got something for you.” Hypnos stammered. You opened your mouth to respond but he held a hand up.

“Hold your hands out.” Hypnos ordered. You crocked an eyebrow but followed his order anyway. He carefully placed a round, golden bottle in your hands. He leaned back a little, his golden eyes watched you.

You held the bottle up in one hand, the liquid simmered in the light. Bright and more golden than any crowns you've ever seen. “What is this?” You asked softly.

“Nectar.” Hypnos replied just as softly. “It’s really good, you haven’t had it before?”

“No, it looks lovely. Thank you, Hypnos.” You murmured. “Would you like to share it with me?”

Hypnos blushed immediately, and gave you a shaky smile. “O-oh, um I-“

You blinked, not understanding where the studden embarrassment came from.

“Hypnos.” Thanatos called out from behind him. Hypnos yelped and pointed at your hand with a hissed "Hide that!"

You obeyed and watched Thanatos float over. Hypnos floated out of his seat with a grin on his face. "Brother, have you decided to join us? I’ll buy us the next round. Ooooh Y/N, you should tell Thanatos about the desserts." Hypnos chatted.

“No, Hypnos. I came to fetch you because Mother had told me that you were in here and not at work.” Thanatos snapped. “You have got to stop-“

“It was my fault.” You interrupted and moved to stand next to Hypnos, who glanced at you in surprise when you even placed a hand on his shoulder to really sell the act. “I was the one to pull him away from his work to entertain me. If anyone is to blame, it’s me.”

You flashed a pleasant smile, even if you felt anger at Thanatos for berating his brother for what had to be for a thousand times since you had joined the house. Thanatos scowled at you as his eyes flickered toward your hand on Hypnos’ shoulder. When he looked back at you, his face darken.

“Just because you’re Achilles’ son doesn’t mean you are permitted to get away from your work either.” Thanatos waved Hypnos over, “Our Mother wishes to speak to us, come along now.”

“Right, I have to go if Mom is calling.” Hypnos floated out of your hold, “Thanks for the drinks, Y/N.”

“Thank you for dinner, Hypnos.” You replied. You watched them leave, Hypnos turned backward in the air as he waved you a last goodbye with Thanatos glaring at you from behind him.

When the brothers were out of sight, you slumped. You patted your pouch, heavy with the gift Hypnos gave you.

Later when in your room, you kept pulling the nectar out of its hidden spot in the desk to stare at it. It seemed to glow even with the single candle you lit. Hypnos’ pleased but embarrassed face flashed in your mind.

Why does it feel like you were missing something?

You scowled down at the stack of paperwork Hypnos dropped off at your desk. It had to be weeks worth of paperwork built up.

“Do I really need to do this when His Highness has been absent for most of his training?” You asked Hypnos. “He is getting close to beating even his own father, surely Lord Hades has other things on his mind.”

Hypnos laughed as he made himself comfortable on his cloak, using it as a lounge. He summoned a scroll before him and glanced at you, "I told you would regret putting off the paperwork, I know because I've done the same thing." Hypnos said.

Before he could even begin to look for a quill, you offered one up. Hypnos looked surprised as if this hadn't become a near daily thing for the pair of you. He used it to point at you, “And let me tell you, when Zagreus does beat Lord Hades, he is going to be looking for someone to blame, and you my dearest friend will be the first in line followed by your father.”

You scoffed as you sat down with your legs stretched out with the desk next to your side and grabbed the first paper. “I would like to see Lord Hades try.” You muttered. It wouldn’t be the first time you fought a god.

Hypnos shook his head with another laugh, “Trust me, it will be much easier if you just have the paperwork ready.”

Sound of writing was soon the only sound that filled the room. Your mind drifted back to the nectar that hid in your desk and almost asked Hypnos what the gift meant. But you talked yourself out of it every time, it seems exceptionally rude to ask someone what the meaning of a gift was. Maybe it meant nothing. Yes, nothing.

You heard a soft snore and looked up. Hypnos’ face rested on his palm, his eyes closed and his lashes flushed against his cheeks. His other arm curled against his slowly rising and falling chest. You should wake him up but he looked so peaceful.

Just a few minutes won’t hurt, you thought to yourself and returned to your paperwork.

It was an hour later when Hypnos jerked awake. “I’m up! I’m up.” He yawned loudly and rubbed his eyes with both hands. “Why didn't you wake me up?”

You shrugged, “It looked like you needed the rest.” You signed your name on the paper and placed it on the ‘done’ pile. You scowled at the still waiting paperwork, you weren’t even halfway through.

You heard Hypnos floated over but didn't look up from the new scroll you grabbed. You almost jerked when Hypnos placed his chin on your shoulder to read the paper. on your other shoulder, his hand rested loosely curled, fingertips light against your uniform.

“I think it should be short and simple.” Hypnos spoke, his voice still a little rough from sleep. His curls brushed against your cheek and you took a sharp breath despite yourself.

“And how would you write this?” You asked. Hypnos grabbed the quill from your hand, his fingers brushing against yours. Quickly and much neater than your own writing, Hypnos was able to summarize everything much better than you could.

“I had a lot more practice, so I got pretty good at telling Hades what he wants to hear. You should be able to just put on all the other papers.” His curls brushed against you again and you swallowed. “Thank you, I think you just saved my hand from cramping.”

Hypnos laughed softly, “No problems, anything for my dearest friend.”

When you walked into the training room, you bit back a laugh.

"Hypnos, get down here!" Zagreus snapped as he jumped up to reach Hypnos.

Hypnos crackled madly, holding on to the spear and floated up higher. "Awww, you call me short but look at you. You can’t even reach me.” He cooed.

“Hypnos, that is not how I taught you to hold the spear.” You called out.

Zagreus frowned, “You taught him how to use weapons? Do you know how bad of an idea that is?”

“Only one so far, your highness. Maybe if you had shown up more I wouldn't have been bored enough to teach him.” You replied, and held out your hand to Hypnos, a silent command.

Hypnos pouted at you but floated over anyway. “He called me short, Y/N.” He muttered as he handed over the spear.

“You are short and so he is.” You smirked at the glares the pair gave you. “Hypnos, corner. Now. Zagreus, start your warm ups.”

With a grumble, Zagreus went to the center of the room. Hypnos grabbed your arm to hook it into his own. You stared down at him, “Can I help you?” You asked, not sure what to make of this. Golden eyes peered at you, much like an owl.

“I will still get my turn to train later right?” Hypnos asked, biting his bottom lip.

“Yes.” You sighed, “But later. Now go to the corner so you don’t get hit.”

With a huff, Hypnos floated to his spot with his arms crossed.

You shook your head, not sure what had gotten into the little god.

“Come on, Your Highness. You do remember how to do a push up right?” You said, pushing it out of your mind.

Later after the training and going over strategy with Zagureus for dealing with his father, you and Hypnos saw him off.

Almost immediately, Hypnos took the spear and floated to the center of the room. He landed on his feet and raised a white eyebrow at you.

You laughed, “You are eager today.”

You circled as he held onto the spear. With a hum, you adjusted his grip, your hands covered his as you moved his fingers. Once you had his grip right, you stepped backward to reassess.

“Straighten your back.” You told him as you moved to stand behind him. You used your foot to kick his feet wider apart. “ And remember to stand hip width apart.”

You saw a blush slowly forming over Hypnos’ face and even to the tip of his ears. You almost said something but held your tongue. He had already been acting unusual today and you didn’t want to push too much.

“Now, like we did last time, show me the footwork.” You command.

You watched him go though one round, his body clearly not used to any kind of movements on his feet. He even almost tripped on nothing a couple times.

"I never asked, but have you ever fought?" You crossed your arms as Hypnos righted himself back up.

He glared at you but it just reminded you of a little kid. You grinned at his lack of answer.

"Oh hush." Hypnos murmured. "Besides I usually can just snap my fingers or sing a little lullaby and even you would go down, Y/N." He lightly shoved your chest, close enough you could feel his body heat.

"I didn't know you could sing." You told Hypnos. You acted like you didn’t notice his hand lingered on your chest. It didn’t mean anything you told yourself.

"Oh, I am definitely no Orpheus but I can hold a tune if I do say so myself. Lullabies are useful for bigger groups but if it's just one or a few I can snap my fingers." Hypnos smirked. "Why? Wanna hear one?"

"Nice try, you were the one who wanted to be trained. Now again." You stepped back and watched his second attempt. Followed by a pitiful third and fourth attempts.

Later after you corrected several mistakes, you had Hypnos run though one more round. He actually got almost all of it right.

“Good.” You told him, and stood next to him. “You just missed the last step, watch me.” You silded your foot out, after a moment Hypnos copied you. You guided him though the last part and once you were sure he had had it, you nodded.

“When you get a free moment, I want you to work on this some more. You got the gist of it, it just needs more refinement.” Hypnos beamed.

"Bet I could beat Zagreus with just a little more work." Hypnos joked as he floated over to the case where the weapons rested.

"If he keeps missing training, you might." You laughed.

Hypnos returned to slowly circle you as he floated. “I’ve been wanting to ask if you wanted to get some more food at the lounge again? My treat, this time.” His hand reached out to touch your arm.

Before you could respond, black smoke rolled across the floor. Thanatos appeared, he scowled when he saw close Hypnos and You were. “Oh Than!” Hypnos pulled away, “You just missed Zagreus. You might be able to find him real quick if you hurry that way.” Hypnos pointed to the doorway.

Thanatos floated over, “Not here for Zagreus.” He turned to you, “Y/N.” He said flatly.

“Thanatos.” You returned, just as flat. Which displeased Thanatos even more.

Without even looking away from you, he spoke. “Hypnos, Mother needs to speak to us again.”

“What? But last time-“ Hypnos started but he stopped at the glare Thanatos shot him.

“Right, again.” Hypnos murmured and he crossed his arms. Thanatos gave you one last glare before he vanished. Hypnos slumped “Well, duty calls. I guess I will see you later?”

You placed a hand on Hypnos’ shoulders which prompted him to look at you, “Yes, get me later and we will go to the lounge. And this time I will cover it.”

He shook his head, “Oh no I was the one to ask.” You squeezed his shoulder softly. “I insist. Allow me to treat my friend.” And prod him for information, normally his family didn’t act so bizarre.

Hypnos smiled, “Okay, thank you. I’ve better-”

“Yes. I will see you later.” And with that Hypnos vanished to wherever Thanatos did.

You sighed and ran a hand through your hair.

Gods, for all their powers, never have a day go by without some type of drama with them.

Blood covered your hands, and you tried to stop the flow as you pressed down hard on Achilles' heel. Your own uniform and hands covered in his blood. How, you remembered crying out, how is your father dying like this?

His blue eyes rolled up to you, and Achiles tried to grin at you. “Do you remember the first time I took you fishing?”

“Useless old man. Talking about fishing at a time like this.” You snapped, and stared at your hands that covered his heel, how was this much blood gushing out? You killed before and you knew, just knew this wasn’t normal.

Achilles took several panting breaths before he spoke again, “I hope Pat forgiven me. I hope you will forgive me.”

For the first time since you were a young babe, since Pa you felt tears burn in your eyes, “Useless.” You gasped out between sobs. You didn’t know anymore if you were talking about your father or yourself.

“A good lad is what you are. Y/N, you were everything we hoped for and more. Such… a good…” and you heard it, the slow rattle and the last breath your father ever took.

“Father?” You whimpered, but no reply came.

You felt hands cupping your face and you met concerned golden eyes, thumbs rubbed at your tears.

The little god had returned.

“Come back to me,Y/N.” He told you. You blinked and you saw the dark red that adored the halls.

Another blink and you stared down at Hypnos who floated close to you. His mouth twisted in a worried frown and you thought wildly for a moment how much you would like to kiss him for just being near you. To smooth away the frown and to know how his lips would part under yours. To feel something other than the overwhelming grief that weighed you down.

But you pulled away and regretted it immediately when you could no longer feel the warmth from his hands.

“Did anyone else…” you whispered. You couldn’t remember the last time you had a drift back that affected you so badly. But it's been awhile since it happened, maybe that was why.

“No, just me.” Hypnos replied, his hands stopped to rest on your chest.

You rubbed your eyes, ashamed to be caught crying if it was quiet. "Thank you, Hypnos. I think I will be fine now. You can go back now." You said, not wanting anyone near you right now. Not even the comfort of Hypnos’ presence brought.

Useless

Hypnos floated back but kept his eyes on you. "I normally don't ask but do you want to talk about it?"

"No." You snapped. "I don't." And cursed at yourself. Especially at the small wince you saw Hypnos gave at your tone.

“No. Thank you.” You said softly. You reached out only to let your hand drop.

“Forgive me. I don’t know…” You trailed off. And felt a hand grab yours. You stared down at Hypnos’ hand as he interlaced your fingers together with his.

Hypnos squeezed without saying a word. You took a shaky breath, not understanding why Hypnos hasn’t left yet. You knew Hypnos was watching you, but you couldn’t summon the courage to meet his gaze.

You already felt so exposed, peeled back and peered into like some hunted animal.

You returned the squeeze.

Prince Zagreus hurried over to you in the east wing, little drops of blood trailed behind him.

“I got so close.” He told you, and went over the details over the fight. You nodded along, His Highness didn’t need you to push anymore. He needed someone to tell him where it went wrong.

“When he does that, do you keep moving?” You tapped your fingers on your spear in thought.

“Of course I do! Big thing of fire coming at me, I'm only flame-resistant, not flameproof and only on my feet really.” Zagreus said, waving his hands toward his feet.

“It sounded like you panicked. Isn't there anything you can use to hide from it?” You asked

“Well, there are these rocks, but I just assume that won’t hold up for long.” Zagreus murmured. You shrugged, “Better to burn the rocks for part of the time than you the whole time.”

Zagreus nodded slowly, “Yes I guess you’re right about me panicking.”

“I could have told you that, Zagreus.” Thanatos said as he floated over. Zagreus beamed, “Thanatos! Perfect timing, here I got something for you.” Zagreus patted down his pockets, a moment later pulled out a familiar round, golden bottle. He handed it to Thanatos, and you even saw a faint blush on his cheeks.

Hypnos’ blushing, shy face flashed in your mind.

"What are those?" You asked before you could stop yourself.

Zagreus blinked at you as if he had forgotten you were still there. “You don't know what these are?”

Thanatos studied your face, but for what reasons you didn’t know. “Zagreus, Y/N was a mortal. They don’t have nectar on the surface, or at least not for the humans.”

You met his stare head on, it still amazed you how different those same golden eyes looked on Hypnos’ face.

“O- oh! My apologies, these are nectar. You give them to people as a gift.” Zagreus tabbed his chin, “I forgot, I still haven’t given you one.”

“Does nectar have a certain meaning?” You asked, not sure what you wanted the answer to be. You tore your eyes away to focus on the prince.

“Friendship.” Thanatos replied. You nodded, not sure if the feeling in your chest was relief or disappointment.

“And more.” Zagreus nudged Thanatos with a frown. Thanatos huffed, clearly not pleased that Zagreus was giving you more information.

Zagreus turned back to you, a faint blush on his cheeks. “It is a little complicated. Nectar could mean friendship but honestly most people give them as… a way to ask for more you know. You just kinda have to know the person to understand what the gift means.”

“I see, your Highness. Thank you.” You muttered. Of course, the gods couldn’t even make the gifts to each other simple.

Zagreus made his excuses and gestured for Thanatos to follow him.

Thanatos looked back at you as Zagreus hurried off. “As much as I doubt you Y/N, I would urge you to make a wise decision. Do not think for a second that your influence on my younger brother is welcomed.”

Thanatos and you glared at each other, and you almost said something rude when Zagreus called for Thanatos.

“Well, his highness is calling for you, Thanatos. I suggest you hurry.” You tabbed the bottom of your spear and smirked at the glare he gave.

You let out a breath when you were finally alone. You thought back to Hypnos, his nervousness, to the nectar that was hidden in your desk, to how Hypnos held your hand.

To how he smiled up to you.

You weren’t stupid, you knew Hypnos wanted more than friendship. You closed your eyes with a sigh, if maybe things had been different for you, and you weren’t some broken warrior who couldn’t keep himself even in the present, and were a hero worthy of the title.

It wasn't fair to Hypnos to deal with your brokenness on top of everything else.

You opened your eyes. But if you were honest with yourself, you weren’t sure if you would be able to say no to the little god. You would swear fidelity to Hypnos and to him alone if he ever asked.

You sighed again, what a mess.

Of course, Hypnos had turned out to be right about Lord Hades. You stood before the looming desk. If you didn’t have a lick of common sense, you would tell Hades that the desk appeared even too big for him.

Lord Hades stared down at you, a scowl on his face. You almost smirked in return. ‘Atta boy, you highness.’ You had sent a letter to Achilles the moment Hypnos had informed you that Zagreus had made it out. You couldn’t help but be proud of Zagreus even if you only play a minor role in helping him.

Even if now it means you were in the hole with Lord Hades.

“Y/N, son of Achilles and Patroclus, all three of you were renown warriors during your lifetimes.” Hades remarked as he wrote something down.

“Thank you, Lord Hades. It brings great honor to our family that even the Gods know of us.” You replied. You could feel Hypnos’ eyes on your back but refused to turn around.

Lord Hades hummed and put his quill down. “Which is why I have a new task for you, Y/N.”

“Of course, my lord. What would you like me to do?” You had a sinking feeling that you already knew what Hades had planned for you but kept a blank face. It wouldn’t do to have the bastard knowing you were nervous.

“Since my worthless son is still trying to get out and causing trouble for all those shades. I want you to go out and put him in his place. It won’t be every time since I still need eyes on the East wing but you will know when you are needed.” A scroll appeared before you and you reached out to read it. You bit your tongue over Hades’ denial that Zagreus already got out once .

“I think you would find the contact to be simple, Y/N.” Lord Hades said. “Every time you send the boy back down here, you get a week to spend with your family instead of a few hours once a month.”

“And if I fail to do so?” You asked and watched a cruel smile grace Hades’ lips. “Your failure would mean you wouldn’t get to see your fathers for that month.”

You read over the contact, “And what if I like my current arrangement, my lord?” You didn’t see any obvious loophole as you reread it.

“Then your current contract will be null and void. Your fathers won’t be affected but you won’t be allowed back in Elysium ever.” Hades scowled, “Now I think I have more than patience with your waffling. Sign the contract or get out.”

You took a sharp breath, reminded yourself that you couldn’t climb that stupid big desk and stab Hades in his mouth with your spear, and signed the contact.

The scroll rolled up and vanished in red smoke.

“You are dismissed, Y/N.” Lord Hades went back to his paperwork. Calmly as you could, you bowed, “Yes, my lord. Thank you.”

And even if you wanted to storm off, you walked as if it was a normal day in the house. You met Hypnos’ gaze, and smiled in an attempt to comfort him.

Damn Lord Hades, damn him.

Hypnos floated around your room, biting his thumbnail. “And are you sure there was nothing?”

“Yes.” You said it for the third time. You stood by your desk, allowing Hypnos to room to float

“But why now?” Hypnos bit down hard on his nail.

“The Pact of Punishment.” You shrugged, “That's why I won’t always be there, it will simply be a part of trying to change the game on his highness.”

“Oh. I see.” Hypnos murmured.

A silence overtook the room, and you slumped. You wanted to write to your fathers to explain what was going on but you held off. You didn’t have to tell your father that you and Zagreus would be fighting and that to see them at all, you would have to kill him.

It was an elephant in the room that you and Zagreus haven’t talked about. Both of you knew that Achilles considered you both brothers. And you didn't know how to deal with it. You didn’t know what his Highness thought.

And now Lord Hades had all but pitted you against each other.

“I won’t kill him.” You said out loud.

Hypnos stopped in mid-float. “It- it not like he isn’t used to dying. I’m sure he will understand.”

“No, Hypnos.” You met his gaze, “The whole reason he is doing this is so he could see his mother again. I can’t do that to him.”

Hypnos floated over to you and placed a hand on your bicep, “But that he would understand. You want the same thing he does, just with your fathers.”

“I can handle not seeing them, I can still send letters. I couldn't do that when I was alive and they were dead. At least I have this.” You sighed. “And Lord Hades will change the deal the moment he needs something else from me. It happened before.”

Hypnos bit his lip, “I don’t like the idea of you dying again. I mean, I know you will be fine obviously but I just rather avoid it.”

“If his highness chooses to fight to the death then he will be the one sent back down here, not me.” You said.

Hypnos chuckled,”Other people said the same thing before, like Meg and even Hades.”

“Oh come on, I thought you had faith in me.” You teased, trying to lighten the mood.

“I have no doubt you would be amazing. I just…” Hypnos trailed off. He held up a finger, “Stay here.” And vanished.

Before you could move, he reappeared. “You should count yourself lucky! I don’t hand these out to just anyone.” He told you. You raised an eyebrow at the thing he waved at you.

“Gimme your arm.” You obeyed him, and Hypnos very carefully placed the metal band around your forearm. It was different from the one Hypnos wore, it was a simple band with engraved poppies.

“What does this do?” You lifted up your arm to study it.

“Back when I was still learning how to control my own magic, I used this. I just made a quick adjustment for you. Anytime you get close to dying or you feel you need to, you can cast a spell to put the whole area asleep and take their health away. But only once, got me?” Hypnos grinned, “Maybe put Prince Zagreus down for a nap. Since he never sleeps.”

You stared at him, “Hypnos, this is too generous of a gift. I can’t take this.” You moved to take it off.

Hypnos grabbed your hand before you could, a serious look on his face. He held your hand and gave a quick squeeze, “You can and you will. I can’t help you any other way, so allow me this. Please.”

You looked back down the band, and nodded. “You know though, you do help me. Just by being near me right? I haven’t drifted back as much as I used to.” You and Hypnos’ gaze met and you were caught off guard by how bright Hypnos’ eyes were.

“I do?” Hypnos whispered. His other hand found its way to your chest, his fingers traced your shoulder’s clasp.

You swallowed, realizing exactly what this looked like. And you should stop this immediately, you weren’t willing to toss away what you had with Hypnos. Because Hypnos might come out of this unscathed, but you wouldn’t. You would give him everything you had and more and you don’t think you could handle being hollowed out and not even have Hypnos at the end of it all.

You need to stop this, but you remained where you were. “Hypnos I -“

A knock came. Followed by two more polite knocks. Both of you and Hypnos turned to look at the door. Gently, you grabbed Hypnos’ shoulders and moved him aside. You went to the door, a mix of disappointment and relief twisted together in your chest.

A shade handed you a scroll and you muttered a quick thank you. You closed the door, and unfurled the scroll. You couldn’t look at Hypnos, you don’t know what you would do if you even look at him.

You read it and reread it, hoping to ground yourself, to get Hypnos’ bright eyes out of your mind.

“What does it say?” Hypnos whispered. He stayed where he was, which might have been the only thing to save your sanity.

“I’ve been summoned, looks like His Highness is almost to Elysium.” You told him.

“Already?” Hypnos bit his lip, “Are you prepared?”

You nodded, and went to grab your spear. You looked at Hypnos, the candlelight only added to how soft he looked. And if you weren’t a coward, you would have kissed the worried frown on his face, to smooth him and murmur words of comfort against his skin. But you were a coward, even as beautiful as Hypnos looked right now.

So all you did was ask, “Walk me out?”

#hypnos x reader #hypnos x male!reader #wake me from this dreaming #x reader #fanfic #hades hypnos

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rulerofstars · 3 years

Note

i love your writings! but maybe we could have some angst??? like um.. levi had an argument with his s/o before an expedition over something and they made up after they came back to the walls?

Sunsets and Mishaps

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Reader

Genre: Angst, light fluff.

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of blood, gore, deaths.

Word count: 2,600 words.

Angel: Thank you so much for requesting and for the kind words, anon! I enjoyed writing this one. <3

The taste of the warm, strong tea eased the coldness caused by the chilly morning of an expedition. You have the habit of waking up early and being productive whenever there is one, just to calm yourself down and have a good start before heading outside the walls and encountering titans. Being out there could have two outcomes only, the first, you’d come back alive, and the second, you don’t. Every second spent before every venture is special to you, for no one will ever know what could happen next.

An assuring warmth from the rays that slipped through the window pain sent solace through the dubious mind that bothered your entire system. If the sunrise is this beautiful, then should you be looking forward for the day?

“You’re early, (Y/N)!” Moblit greeted, sitting next to you, and Hanji who has a bunch of different food in their hand sat across you. The latter, your best friend and squad leader had notable dark circles under their eyes, accompanied by the messy hair. Staying up late for experiments, again, you thought.

A piece of bread has been shoved in your hand as Sasha, one of your favorite cadets passed by your table and greeted you with a wink, you smiled at her.

“You are, too.” Hanji scoffed at your reply and glared at Moblit.

“He woke me up!”

“Of course, you told me to wake you up!”

“Not this early!”

“It’s your normal wake-up time! You’re just sleep-deprived, squad leader!”

Because of the noisy quarrel in front, you wanted to walk away and just sleep for a little bit more. These two never seem to hear each other even when they are millimeters close, they always shout!

The atmosphere of the mess hall transitioned from light to heavy when the intimidating aura of the elite squad entered the room. Their mere presence is enough to justify the reasons why they belong in the so called Special Operations Squad, and the number of titans they have obliterated is mind-blowing and you can’t help but to wonder, are they really human beings?

A familiar back profile made your heart flutter, his undercut makes you weak, and the way he held the tea cup as if he’s afraid to break it into pieces.

So he’s up early, too.

“Aren’t you going to kiss your lover?” Hanji asked, making you blush furiously. That question was so sudden!

Moblit immediately interfered, “Lovers don’t kiss all the time, Hanji-san!” He said, earning an approval from you.

Little by little, your whole squad appeared and occupied the empty spaces available. Your eyes occasionally dart onto Levi, who’s quietly listening to the conversation of his own squad and speaks every now and then. You wanted to go to him and spend the rest of your morning with him before you set off outside the walls, but you don’t want to interfere with his time for his squad. You are well-aware of your boundaries. How you should keep your feelings out of missions and focus on the objective. You and him had talked about this kind of matter ever since you’ve started dating.

And how you should keep your relationship as lowkey as possible.

Gentle yet meaningful habits pacified the yearning that burned for the both of you, the littlest things that you make, the slightest details that he considers, is what kept you sane. After all, it was you whom he would come home to.

But, you would not deny how much it irks you. . . to see him too close to another woman, yet not being able to do something to ease the slight pang of jealousy and pain.

“You okay?” Nifa asked, noticing the glint of uneasiness in your eyes, but you quickly shook the feelings away.

To make it believable, you forced a smile on your lips and answered your friend, “Of course!”

You hated how his certain squad mate looked at him the way you do, too. You are too aware of the woman’s feelings towards your lover, and you can’t help but to feel upset. How her small actions that meant something else find their way towards Levi, and how he does nothing about it, how he lets it happen, as if he’s giving her a chance.

Trust is one of the core foundations of your relationship, but you weren’t doubting your boyfriend, you are just. . . jealous. The two of you talked about how you should be open and tell each other everything you feel without any kind of hesitation. It was what made you strong as a couple- the thick line of communication never grew weary.

-----

Preparations weren’t that tedious an hour before the expedition because everything is already put together, thanks to Erwin. Everyone’s already in their uniforms, ODM gears have been checked, so no one is really having a hectic time, or so you thought.

The four corners of Levi’s office sealed every kind of noise from the outside, encaging you both with silence that is sometimes interrupted by the sound of papers shuffling. The captain sat on his chair, facing his desk, while he scanned a pile of paperworks to sign to. Thanks to Erwin.

You sat on the chair in front of his desk, sighing and arranging the scattered papers neatly.

“Levi. . .” You started, trying to gain his attention but to no avail, he did not even raise his head to look at you, but he did acknowledge you.

“Hm?”

Thoughts pervaded your mind, doubts about yourself and the matter that you would bring up to your lover. For once, you became hesitant of the things that you would tell him, but the way your jealousy permeated through the deepest part of your heart offered you no chance to analyze if this was the perfect timing, or not.

“Petra Ral. . .” His eyes focused on you since the mention of his certain squad mate, making you grow slightly more jealous of the girl, “Her actions. . . her actions towards you make me uncomfortable,” You looked at him and tried to read if any kind of emotion slipped through his steel grey eyes, but you found nothing but nonchalance.

“I’m jealous, Levi. I just want to tell you that.” You admitted, looking down and pressing your nails on your fingers. Agitation rushed through every vein of yours, you were nervous and you didn’t know why. Maybe for how her would react or what he would say.

He stopped what he’s doing and sat up straight, staring directly into your anxious eyes, “What do you want me to do?”

You shrugged, “I don’t know, tell her to stop? Tell her about us? About me?” You suggested, and your heart almost stopped when you caught the slightest glint of irritation in his eyes.

“I thought we’d keep it low-profile?” He asked, looking at the papers one more time before arranging it neatly and staring at you again, “We talked about this, (Y/N).” His austere voice sent shivers to every part of your body.

“This isn’t about us,” You muttered, looking down and avoiding his cold stares, “It’s about me, my feelings, Levi.”

A scoff flee from his mouth, making you feel like what you just said was so dumb that he could not stand it.

“You’re being unreasonable,” He spat your name like it was poison out of his lips, and you stared at him in shock. For a moment, words would not come out of your mouth. For a moment, you were frozen and you couldn’t believe what you just heard. For a moment, you were hurt.

You bit your lower lip, eyes furrowed as you stared back at him with the same intensity. “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought we were supposed to tell each other things.” Sarcasm coated your voice like sugar on spice.

His fingers flew on his face, massaging his forehead, as if it was too bothersome and stressful to talk with you, “Stop being childish, (Y/N).”

“Then stop being insensitive!” You spat back, raising your voice. Your heart never beat this hard because of a different reason. The way pain and disappointment embraced you right now felt so wrong.

A sigh left his lips, as he pointed towards the door of his office. And you felt yourself drop, never have you ever had an argument so bad that he would resort to kicking you out, or parting ways without talking about it.

“I can’t deal with you right now. . . just leave.”

Tears pooled in your eyes like a puddle being filled by the chilly raindrops of a hail. He made you feel so petty. Your feelings were never invalidated, and you never thought that it would be him to make you feel like this.

-----

You gripped the end of the reins tightly as you waited for the commander’s signal to advance. Hanji questioned your puffy eyes the moment they saw you earlier, and you lied by saying that you accidentally fell asleep while waiting.

What irked you the most is the noise caused by the Elite squad and how they tease their woman to the captain. You wanted to combust so bad because you had no choice but to endure hearing them. Childish? Fine.

As Erwin shouted, you wasted no time waiting and you immediately followed Moblit, with Nifa behind you and your other squad members at the back. You rode your horse like there was no tomorrow, occasionally being told to slow down to not ruin the formation.

Once the big-ass trees greeted your sight, you shifted to your ODM gear and slaughtered every titan that came across your vision. How you are extremely offensive right now surprised your squad mates, because you were never like this before. It was as if you were angry, and hell you are.

You let your body get taken away by the emotions that overwhelmed your system, that you didn’t notice how far you got and how long you were fighting. But you did not seem to care, you were going to fight until Erwin decides to retreat. The good thing is, you knew how to conserve gas, Levi taught you himself.

Like a thunderbolt, a titan rushed towards you, jumping through the branches of trees, and catching you off guard, making a sharp piece of the wood graze the side of your cheek slightly. You hissed at the sting yet resumed slaying the titan.

Time passed by and you lost count of how many titans you have killed, the second to the last blade in your hand is now starting to get weary, and you badly wanted to kill the one in front of you. You advanced in full speed and positioned your blade in a way that it’d execute the titan in one slash, but an arm stopped you before you could cut.

“Stop it.”

Your body shook, not because you were tired, nor exhaustion is starting to creep up your body. But it was because you heard your lover’s voice. And you did not know why, or for what reason could your body react like this.

“It’s time to head back.” He whispered on your ear. His voice was nothing compared to his cold ones earlier, because this one. . . it’s warmer than the sunset.

You bit your lip, letting your emotions take over you once again and yanking your arm away from him just to get back to the formation all by yourself. Your squad mates nodded at you the moment they recognized your form, and you were greeted by the sight of several bodies of people who suffered the fate of being taken too early.

The entire way back to the walls was coaxed with the heat provided with the orange sunset. Gone was the coldness that bothered everyone in the morning, it was engulfed by the warmth that reminded you of how every expedition ends like. The only warmth that reminded you of losing someone important.

-----

On an open field is where you sat, where they had experiments with the boy- the titan shifter. Of course, you knew, you were there. In front of you was the sunset that would soon say goodbye and leave its remnants of purple and deep pink. And the scent of your favorite soap sent comfort in knowing that you are already home, freshly showered, with a piece of snack in your hand.

You felt your lover’s presence slowly approaching you, his heat was greater than anything else. But visions of what happened earlier repeated in your mind, causing you to walk away from him, away from the feelings.

“(Y/N).”

One word from him, and you halted. And you hated it.

Not a minute had passed and you found Levi in front of you, his brown jacket now discarded, and what protected him from the cold solstice was a thin long-sleeves that you used to steal from him. His hand caressed the wound on your cheek, lightly letting his fingers kiss the fresh cut, but your eyes continued to avoid his.

Because of the schedule and trainings, you were deprived of the chance to spend time together. And you would not deny that you miss it. How you would sneak into his office late at night and come back to you and your roommates’ room before dawn. How you would steal food from the mess hall and share it with him. Or the late-night walks that you have done with him, pretending that no one would see. And you were sure that someone did.

You were never a secret, but you were extremely private.

“Look at me.” He said, his hands still cupping both of your cheeks. You pouted, not wanting to look at him because you knew how frail you get when it comes to him.

Your eyes met his, and it felt like you haven’t for a while.

“Look at me,” He repeated, and you stare directly into his, letting him read the emotions you have felt earlier. You looked at him as if you were complaining to him about himself and his actions earlier. “I’m sorry.”

Your lips trembled. Cheeks flushed and puffed, lips pouting, while warm tears filled your eyes once again. And Levi kissed your tears away even before they could paint your pretty face.

“Don’t cry,” He whispers, gone was the harsh tone that he used on you earlier, gone was the Levi that made you feel invalidated and puerile, “Fuck! Don’t cry. I’m sorry, baby.”

Sultry kisses on your forehead, and how his voice burned in apologies saved you from the cold breeze that wanted to touch your skin. He held you so close to him that you could feel how fast his heart beats for you, muttering how sorry he is, how he told not just Petra but his whole squad about you, how much of an asshole he was.

“D-don’t do that again. . .” You sobbed, face still buried in the warmth of his chest while your hands gripped his shirt.

“I promise.” He responds immediately, wiping the sadness and pain you have felt for hours and replacing it with the fire that dwells within him; the fire that you both made.

You were beneath the moon, and tonight, it was more beautiful. It was your witness, along with the stars that smoldered like a fiery heat. And within the coolness of the dusk had you both realized, that the once searing sunset has kissed you both goodbye.

#attack on titan #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #attack on titan x reader #levi x you #levi ackerman x you #aot #snk #rulerofstars

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heyovivi · 3 years

Text

You know this week I’ve heard a lot of outlandish theories and arguments against Gwynriel, against Gwyn, and even against Lucien. And obviously it comes from mostly Elriel stans--not ALL of them, but goddamn a large number of them. I can appreciate having your own views on certain characters and certain ships but goddamn at least maintain your humanity and some part of a moral compass.

First of all, we shouldn’t accuse SJM on writing or promoting pedophilia in her books. The theory that Gwyn is a child is completely invalid. She is twenty-eight and she was sexually assaulted when she twenty-six. Just because she ages differently doesn’t negate the fact that she is still an adult--and if you’ve seen any fan art or read an canon description of her you should know that she is an adult--both Azriel and her are adults and if you’re an Elriel stan trying to convince me otherwise just know Elain is younger than Gwyn. Feyre was nineteen when she fell in love with Tamlin. And Aelin was eighteen when she started to fall in love with Rowan. If there is anything, Gwyn and Azriel is one of thee most realistic ships that I’ve seen so far in the book series.

So what if Gwyn is a little childish. She isn’t the only one. In ACOSF we’ve seen childish sides from Nesta AND Emerie. That’s how a close circle of friends works and if you don’t think there are childish adults out there who are youthful and overall just chipper people than you honestly have never met Disney adults. Plus Mor is the same age as Rhys and yet also has her own childish tendencies. Hell, even the Bat Bois have their moments.

Gwyn is a playful person with a cheerful personality. Just because she sings and dances and comes off as a curious soul doesn’t mean she isn’t as mature as other characters in the series. In fact, I think it solidifies that Gwyn’s story is a parallel to the Little Mermaid because who else do we know that likes to sing, wants to dance “on those things called feet”, and is also a curious soul?

Next. I don't know who thought having friendship bracelets was stupid or unnecessary because clearly that anti didn’t read the book and didn’t realize that those bracelets were a *fundamental part of the Valkyries surviving the Blood Rite. Without them they wouldn’t have found each other or maybe not even survived the Rite at all. And plus, Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn are chosen sisters. Making the bracelets was something Gwyn and Catrin did in Sangravah as a symbol of their unity. The fact that Gwyn decided to share that part of her with Nesta and Emerie speaks volumes of her relationship and feelings towards them.

Also, comparing Gwyn to Ianthe. I’m sorry, Gwyn is a sexual assault victim. Ianthe is the assaulter. Not only has she assaulted Lucien, she attempted to assault Azriel. Just because they have the same color eyes doesn’t mean ANYTHING. By that pathetic and stupid logic your telling me everyone with teal eyes is evil. Then I guess Elain is evil and is going abuse her children when she’s a mother because who else has brown eyes. Beron has brown eyes. He abuses his children and is also a tyrant. OH who also portrays these exact same traits? Keirs does. Morrigan’s father. Who also has brown eyes.

Now doesn’t that just sound so incredibly stupid?

Now, I will say that Gwyn being a lightsinger does make sense in it’s own form. But do I think SJM is going to make her a character who lures males with her feminine whiles and voice to ultimately kill them in end? No. Gosh no. In what world would she think it’s okay to make the victim the assaulter. If you’re going to make an evil-Gwyn theory make it make sense and give me actual textual evidence that can’t be overruled by other textual evidence.

Lastly, the theory that Gwyn and Lucien are invalid love interests because they are both redheads is just absolutely--like what in the fuckery shit hole head canon hell did that come from? Do gingers not deserve all in the love in the world as well? Is Lucien also not a victim in his own right? Does his story not deserve to be told?

Lucien has made mistakes. He has even owned up to them and apologized and now he works everyday to make up for what he did by acting as an Emissary to the Night Court. And everything he does for Elain is everything everyone should be wanting from a partner in their life. Yes, he yearns for her. Yes, he is protective. But he is still a respectful king. He lets her have her own boundaries. Gives her space and doesn’t enforce anything on her. Do I like the idea of Elucien? Honestly no. Until I see a little bit more spice and chemistry between them then I will reassert my position (although I do like the idea of the whole fox and fawn theory).

Guys, keep your humanity in tact. And think before you post. Actually read the words your about to write before you post. I have no doubt that whatever route SJM takes, it’s going to be written beautifully. That goes for Elucien, Gwynriel, and Elriel.

#gwynriel #a court of thorns and roses #a court of silver flames #azriel #gwyneth berdara #elain archeron #lucien vanserra #elucien #sarah j maas #sarahjmass #stopthehate

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caramelcal · 3 years

Text

Trained for Sin {part two}

Word Count: 2.2k

Ship: Luke Patterson x Reader

a/n: wow...here is your highly requested part two! YALL GOT ME FEELIN FAMOUS!! Thank you so much for every single comment, note, request, repost and message. I am so thankful for them all and I’m glad you guys enjoy my silly little fics lol...

Would a ‘Luke Patterson’ tag be something you guys are interested in, so that you would be notified for every Luke fic I post or no? It’s just a little idea right now...

From Luke’s point of view for a bit of ~spice~

Warnings: friends with benefits themes, sexual themes, swearing

Tags: @iainttakingshitfromnobody @ilymarkchan @starjane312 @miranda0102 @katrin-okay @mah-gah-lee @fantastic-fans @phantompogues @fangirlangioma

disclaimer: i do not condone plagiarism on my work at all, this has not been posted on any other platforms, or on tumblr anywhere else but my account (rosemoonmist) if you see anyone plagiarizing mine (or anyone else’s account) please inform the rightful author ! thank you lovelies x

Part One Masterlist

It wasn’t a particularly normal experience for Luke to be called down by his mom, but he tried to give it no thought as he bounded down the stairs that day. He could faintly hear the sound of a car starting up and leaving outside as he turned his attention towards his mom, “Hey mom, what’s up?”

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he saw his mother stare down at the parcel with a slight, almost unnoticeable, frown. The older woman walked towards her son, giving him a weak smile as she spoke to him, “A h/c haired girl dropped this off for you. She seemed upset.”

That was even more confusing to Luke. Who would drop him off a parcel, and why would they be upset? He took the package off of his mother, flipping it around to look at the neat handwriting splayed out on the envelope that sat on top of the tan packaging of the parcel. That was your handwriting, but why would you send him a letter and a parcel?

Giving his mom a muttered thanks, Luke doesn’t stay around for any small talk and instead goes back up into his room, kicking the door shut behind him, all of his attention now on the parcel. Something is wrong, he knows that.

The guitar that Luke was playing before he was called down was long forgotten about as he sat down on the edge of his best, ripping the tan paper that you had wrapped the item in. You wrapped it as if it was a gift but it wasn’t. It was his hoodie he had given you the previous night in the car. Why did you not just return this yourself?

He placed the hoodie next to him on his bed, the envelope still in his hand. He was confused. Yet, as he opened the envelope and the key fell onto his lap everything started to fall into place. That was the house key he gave you so that you could come over whenever he needed you. With that, his stomach fell. No.

Luke was far from dumb, and he could already tell what this was going to be. He had dumped girls over text, he had dumped them in person, and just from the start of your letter, he knew what you were writing to him about. He just didn’t want to believe it.

Dear Luke,

This was probably not what you were imagining to get. Maybe you were imagining a present, or maybe you had a parcel that you were supposed to be getting delivered or something but this isn’t like that. Apologies for possibly getting your hopes up, but this way everything will be easier. I won’t have to fumble over my words and you won’t have to sit in embarrassment as some random girl tells you she no longer wants to have sex with you.

After that last statement, I can already tell you’ve probably stopped reading this, possibly ripped it up, or set it on fire and that’s alright. Yet, no matter how cliché it sounds, this isn’t your fault. This...Whatever we had was great while it lasted, especially at the start but now I have to search for something else. For something more...romantic.

I know you aren’t the romantic type, that had become obvious to me over the past months we have been involved with each other and that’s perfectly okay. I never expected anything more from you. I didn’t expect me to ever want anything more either but the more I watch the girls in the hallways with their boyfriend’s sweatshirts on, holding hands, kissing, hugging I can’t help but yearn for that.

I know I can never ask you to give me that because that was not our deal. I was never supposed to want anything more than meaningless sex, but I did, and I do. I’m just sorry it had taken me this long to realize this was not what I wanted; for either of us.

I think it’s best we don’t contact each other again, whether it be over the phone or in real life, not to give ourselves time to heal but to give us time to recover: for you to find a new girl that will give you everything I have and more; less commitment and more adrenaline and for me to find someone that will give me what I want. These last few months have been an interesting experience, and I wish you all the best.

I’m sorry.

You were gone, and you weren’t planning on coming back.

. . .

Luke had never been one for romance. The whole ‘teenage sweethearts' thing wasn’t for him. He knew that a lot of girls would kill to be in a relationship with him, but it was for popularity; you didn’t want that. Popularity was not a factor for you at all, Luke knew that even if he didn’t speak to you much.

Unbeknownst to you, Luke watched you too. Your small manners and quirks, and quickly became good at reading you. That was how he knew you were embarrassed in the car, even if he couldn’t see you blush. Luke knew a lot more about you than you suspected but the one thing he didn’t know was that you liked romance. Yet, it seemed that was new to you too.

He thought you were all about the adrenaline and hook-ups like he was, and after seeing how you were on the first night you guys spent together, he thought you were more experienced than you had been. Walking through school felt different now as he glanced over at your locker, noticing your lack of presence. It didn’t feel right.

It was like an itch at his fingers, that something was off about him and he didn’t like it. Throughout the class, he couldn’t focus, his mind in a muddle and hands lightly trembling. It was like withdrawal. Withdrawal from you.

It wasn’t long before Luke walked out of the classroom, not caring about asking for teacher permission. Having a rich dad certainly had its benefits. The school was mostly funded by well-off individuals, allowing the school funds to pay teachers and make the school the best it could be, and with his dad being one of the main ones, he could get away with a lot. Luke’s dad never being around never really was an issue for Luke, he didn’t know what having a dad present was like. Luke was just happy he could get away with a lot of things like skipping class and not handing in homework.

He made his way down the corridor, subconsciously finding himself heading towards the music department. It was abnormally quiet down there, normally the music department was bustling with sound, but maybe he would find sanity in the silence. That was what he was banking on.

A new sound evaded his senses however, the soft playing of piano keys in a nice and calming melody and he found himself drifting towards the sound. What he was met with, he was surprised. Leaning against the door frame, he watched you, your back turned to him, but he could tell from a mile away that it was you, “I didn’t know that you played.”

The piano playing stopped, indicating that you heard him, but you made no turn to move. He sighed, eyes looking over your figure before walking towards you. He slid next to you on the piano, looking over at your face, the direction of your gaze staying firmly ahead, not daring to stray to look over at him.

His gaze moved back down to the piano keys as he softly played a tune, clearing his throat a little, “Where is everyone?”

“Spirit assembly, they’ll be gone for the next two periods,” You replied monotonously as you continued to stare straight forward. Luke’s eyes stayed on the side of your face, not even looking down at the keys as he played effortlessly. You turned to face him, gesturing towards his face then to his hands, “Is this supposed to psych me out or something?”

Raising his eyebrows, Luke shook his head, his fingers lifting off of the piano keys, “What? No!”

“Whatever, Patterson,” You grumbled, getting up off of the piano seat and going to walk away, only for Luke to grab onto your lower arm in an attempt to stop you, “What?”

“I- uh- I just wanted to say you were good at playing the piano,” Luke commented dumbly, giving you a smile to which you responded with a blank stare. Luke did mean it when he said you were good at playing the piano but that was not what he meant to say. He meant to say something that would make you stay, that would get you to kiss him, to hold hands, and to be happy with him.

Because although he didn’t know it until he got your letter, he knew clearly now. He wanted to be with you, whether that meant fuck buddies, or if it meant dating with every single string attached.

“Really, Patterson? What are you trying to do here? Compliment me back into getting into bed with you?”

“Of course not,” Luke dismissed, climbing over the piano seat so that he stood right in front of you. He grabbed both of your hands, squeezing them in his lightly as he looked into your eyes, “Listen, I’m sorry.”

You quirked an eyebrow at him, confusion striking you as you asked, “What have you got to be sorry about, Patterson?”

“Everything. Y/n, I-I’m sorry that I initiated this whole thing between us two with the no feelings, because from that moment on when I said no feelings I was lying to not only you to but me.” Luke started, looking down at the floor as he began to let his feelings take over. It was one of the first times that Luke ever found himself relying on feelings to get words across, but it felt good to be able to let it out, “Y/n, I always thought I would never do relationships, but with you everything is different. I would hold hands with you down the hall, run around confessing my love for you. I would kiss you and hug you until the sun rose. I would do anything for you, y/n/n.”

Luke’s hazel stared down at your eyes, his ramble coming to an end, making him whisper the end part as he leaned closer to you. Whilst one hand still held onto your hands, one of his hands was on the side of your face, a calloused thumb stroking your cheek gently as he bent down to make direct eye contact with you.

You were dumbfounded. Luke Patterson just confessed his love for you. Luke Patterson. You didn’t know what to say. You never thought that Luke would ever be the type of person to chase after a girl because he wasn’t normally. So why was he so eager about you? He never seemed to show any interest but maybe he was like you; hiding your feelings until they become unbearable.

Butterflies formed in your stomach whilst you tried your best to fight off the smile that came on to your face, looking at Luke with soft eyes, “Really?”

“Yes, really,” Luke nodded his head with a light laugh, a smile on his face. You didn’t say anything in return and instead, you connected your lips with his. You had kissed Luke one hundred times before but nothing compared to the electricity of the kiss you felt right now.

Whilst normally the adrenaline flooded your veins, instead, it was love. It was different from what you were used to, but every touch of Luke on you felt like sparks, like the passion you had put into the kiss sparked electricity with it.

Luke disconnected your lips as he looked down, his hand letting go of your face as his arms went lower, beckoning you to jump up with his head, so you did. With you now in Luke’s arms, you reconnected your lips again, hands pulling on the brown strands of hair on the back of his head.

You barely even paid attention to the fact that Luke walked over to the piano as you deepened the kiss, his teeth biting gently down on your bottom lip, making you open your mouth in surprise. He took the opportunity for his tongue to explore your mouth, and you allowed it, pulling yourself closer to his chest, trying to get as close as you could to the boy. The boy who just confessed his love for you.

The spine of the piano was folded down and Luke placed the top of the piano down, causing you to disconnect your lips and look down at the sleek, polished, black top of the piano that Luke placed you on top of. You looked back at Luke, a look of hesitation to which he nodded, “Luke, no, we can’t do it here! What if we get caught?”

“You said it yourself y/n/n, everyone will be at spirit rally for the next hour,” Luke smirked, kissing you which made you smirk into the kiss as well.

With that, Luke lightly pushed you down onto the piano, climbing over the top of you, letting out breathlessly, “I love you.”

Luke didn’t wait for your response as he bent down to your neck, sucking on it, prepared to leave many marks littering your skin. However, you didn’t oppose, instead your hands made their way up Luke’s back and into his hair, letting out a gasp as he sunk his teeth lightly into your skin.

And so the games begin.

#charlie gillespie x y/n #luke julie and the phantoms #julie and the phantoms #luke patterson x reader #luke patterson x y/n #julie and the phantoms x reader #charlie gillespie x reader #charlie gillespie #julie and the phantoms luke #luke jatp #luke patterson

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sweetestlamb · 3 years

Text

Mostrami Amore.

Summary: Cha-young tries to move on from a certain mafia boss.

Author’s Note: Thank for to everyone who sent in prompts for Chayenzo, it resulted in this mess. I don’t have much to say, I considered making this into a multi- chaptered story but honestly I don’t have time for another ongoing story so if this seems rushed it was a little, I wrote it in one go today. Hope you enjoy this, I stuck in some of my favorite crack ship because I am weak and obsessed. Happy reading!

p.s takes place after final episode but han seo lives because this is my world and I get to play God.

Another postcard.

Their delivery becomes sporadic and she’s embarrassed at the giddiness that washes over her each time a new square is sent miles across a wide stretch of ocean, the view on the card most likely lackluster in comparison to the true rendering of Malta. She has spent many hours on her laptop searching for images of the small paradisiac island, yearning to see what he sees and feel just a tad bit closer to him. Most of her life has been spent in solitude with only her work acquaintances filling the void at times, so she expected herself to be more equipped to deal with his disappearance and subsequent absence. But nothing prepares her for those moments at the coffee shop, when she finds herself smiling across a table only to realize there is no miniature espresso cup in the hand of a very dangerous Italian Korean mafia member grinning back at her.

The smile melts off her face and she swallows the bitter cool sludge in her cup, the beverage tasting exactly as he had described it without him there.

Nights are the hardest, loneliness coils around her like a snake.

There was never any other fate for them, she knew that when Vincenzo murdered all their enemies this was their only real outcome. He would always be a fugitive on the run and she an accomplice if he were captured and questioned, it was in both of their best interests if he vanished from the face of the planet. But knowing that does nothing to qualm the ever present feeling of isolation that clings to her skin as she sits alone on her couch, downing makgeolli at a vicious pace. Trying to wash his taste from her mouth, that kiss on loop in her mind and the phantom grip of his hand on her neck.

It’s those treacherous nights without the plaza members that have become a second family to her and Han Seo following her like the lost puppy he is calling her “Noona” so freely and frequently until she forgets her own name, that she allows herself to feel exactly what she’s feelings.

Heartbroken.

Desperate.

Lonely.

Rage.

The last one she hides like a dirty secret in the closet of her heart, she knew what she was signing up for. She has no legitimate reason to be angry, or so she tries to reason with herself. But. This was the same man who had bypassed the security of one of the richest men in Korea and ultimately killed him without leaving a trace. She had watched him do despicable things, blackmailing, threatening, seducing, and murdering others as he saw fit and yet, he hadn’t used any of those dastardly ways to see her. That chance meeting at the art gallery had been the last she had seen of him, Then a few weeks later another postcard with the same message she had boldly uttered at the airport, it feels insufficient after having him in her arms again. She knew in that moment that they would never be enough again. She hadn’t even argued when Mr. Nam claimed he would leave this one on his table instead, she merely nodded and walked away to peruse the new sexual assault case she has taken recently.

It gets harder and harder to hear Han Seo regaling the wonders of his “hyung”, her anger boiling deep below the surface like magma waiting to explode and transform into something tangible and destructive.

“He told me that he has a room for me too. I wonder when he’ll let us visit.”

She nods absently, staring out the window at the sunlight twinkling in through the blinds but then his words register and the gears in her head churn before running the sentence back through to carefully process them.

“He---what? You spoke to Vincenzo?”

The human puppy pouts his lips before tilting his head and dealing a hard blow to her ego and her heart, “Yeah, he sends me letters. I got so scared the first time! He said the letter would self-destruct after I read it and I really thought that was true and I dived across the room to escape but I bumped my head on the table and then...”

He sent Han Seo letters.

She had received the same fucking postcard for months on end with the same message she had said to him, and he had time to write Han Seo letters. He hadn’t sent her even one in the time he had been gone.

“That fucking bastard!” She explodes interrupting Han Seo’s recount of his near death experience and he looks wide- eyed and taken back by her outburst, she almost soothes him before another wave of anger rushes through her veins. She had accepted the bare minimum because she thought this was all he could give her but it seemed she was being too naïve. He was Vincenzo Cassano after all, he could make anything happen. She had seen it with her own two eyes. If he wasn’t reaching out to her maybe that was a message and she was too blind to see it.

“Noona? Are you okay?” Han Seo looks absolutely terrified, eyes huge and quivering. She doesn’t bother answering, grabbing her cup of lukewarm coffee and stomping out of the office ignoring Mr. Nam’s calls behind her. She’s tired of being an idiot.

She throws herself into forgetting him, the same way he seems to have forgotten her despite his words to her that fateful night on the stairs.

I thought about you everyday.

Actions speak louder than words and she is done accepting his crumbs. She has never needed anyone, had even accepted when her own father wanted nothing to do with her; she has basically been prepping for this moment her entire life.

So she goes shopping with Miri, buying gadgets that she has no idea how to use but that the other girl makes sound like things that she definitely needs such as a new home security system, her break in still fresh in her mind. She grins at the pretty smile on the other girl’s round face as she explains the specification of the machines around them and she can see why Han Seo has such a huge crush on the girl, the pretty blush that blossoms on the other girl’s cheek after stating the fact out loud is adorable and she pinches said cheek much to her chagrin.

“You should worry about your own love life.” Miri teases but the words sting like acid on her skin and she turns away to hide the grimace on her face, but she’s not fast enough and the other girl catches her wrist halting her movement.

“What? What’s wrong? Did something happen to Mr. Cassano?” Miri whispers the last part, looking around to make sure that nobody overhears them.

She forces herself to stifle her emotions, trapping them in the back of her mind refusing to let him have this kind of affect on her.

“I wouldn’t know.” She tries for a emotionless tone but even she can hear the bitterness in her own voice and Miri’s eyes fill with pity and it makes her sick to her stomach, “Don’t. I am going to be fine. Let’s just go.”

They don’t utter single word in the car ride home.

After that it becomes painfully obvious that everyone in the plaza thinks something is wrong with her and are teaming up to make her feel better. It’s the packed lunches that keep showing up on her desk without fail, her clothes being steamed and pressed for free, the way that they won’t allow her to be alone and there are countless spontaneous family game nights all ending with her drunk and being carried home.

Tonight Mr. Tak is the unlucky volunteer, dragging her limp body in her father’s house and she thinks of all the times that they drank here together and a certain person was the one hauling her body to bed complaining and grumbling but that distractingly fond smile on his face that he only ever seemed to shoot her way. Her heart thumped loudly as he loomed over her and leaned in close, getting her hopes up only to brush her hair behind her ears and softly tell her, “Go to sleep now,” and she had never been obedient all her teachers could testify to that but when he looked at her like that she was powerless to do anything else but listen.

“I miss him.” The traitorous words fall from her lips and vanish into the inky darkness of the night.

A deep sigh from the left of her, “We know.”

She feels vulnerable, the worst thing about having a weakness is other’s noticing too. She hates how weak she feels.

“I am going to forget him.”

The body supporting most of her weight tenses under her arm and she waits for his response, they all love Vincenzo- he had become their unexpected hero and leader in many ways. They would always take his side, she knows that.

“If that’s what you need to do to be happy. Then, do it. Loving a man like Vincenzo isn’t easy.”

She turns to look at him in genuine shock.

“What? You thought I would tell you to keep waiting with no end in sight? You should know by now, you mean a lot to us too. Your happiness is important to us too, we’re a family.”

“But we’re the Cassano family,” she challenges unable to accept that they could love her without Vincenzo attached, but Mr. Tak shrugs at the clarification, “We can be the Hong Family too.”

She feels her eyes swimming.

“I should go inside.”

She feels sober and more awake than ever, she stays up all night twirling the long strands of her hair in between her fingers.

Thinking.

Variety is the spice of life.

She doesn’t know where she’s heard that but it’s those sage words that are the catalyst for her spontaneous decision.

“Same as always? Silky with some body?” Her stylist peers into her eyes through the wide mirror and she hears herself say, “No I want a cut and some color.” Yu-jin raises one pretty tweezed brow but nods after a moment’s pause, “Okay. How short are you thinking?”

And that’s how she starts her day with long thick hair that grazes her lower back and ends it with a short bob that tickles her neck. It feels like a weight has been lifted from her shoulder, metaphorically and literally and she loves the face that she sees in the mirror, her eyes looking brighter than they have in months. She feels more alive, like a snake shedding its skin and becoming a newer and fresher version of itself.

“Your hair?” That becomes the running theme for her day, shocked gaping mouths and hands reaching out for the hair that was once there. She merely smirks at their palpable surprise, especially Seol-jin who doesn’t recognize her from behind.

“I haven’t seen a pretty lady like you aro--Oh Ms. Hong! I’m so sorry I didn’t recognize you, I am so sorry please excuse me!” The interpretative dancer bolts away leaving her to watch him bemused, she skips to Jipuragi with a pep in her step laughing loudly when Mr. Nam drops his coffee upon seeing her and the brown liquid goes flying and douses him in a sticky hot mess.

It’s an entertaining day to say the least.

Moments later when he’s finished cleaning himself up and changing into the cheetah print track suit that he insisted to keeping in the office, he mentions that a new postcard has arrived. She nods at the information, looking at her laptop and it’s only seconds later that she finally looks up and sees that he’s waiting for her response. She doesn’t have one.

Forcing a tight smile on her face she replies, “Oh that’s great. Just put it with the others.”

He does.

But she can feel his eyes on her, his concern heavy and tangible in the air.

She pretends not to notice and keeps clicking away on her laptop, only glancing over at the card once or twice. But it’s only out of habit.

Nothing more.

She starts going on dates with random men. Men she meets in coffee shops, on the streets, in bars, hell one time even the bookstore. She never meets the same man twice and they never get what they want but it does make her feel desirable and that’s all she’s looking for.

“Where are you going?” Han Seo asks her curiously, Miri by his side as she struts out the plaza new perfume on her skin.

“On a date. I’ll see you both later.” They both gape at her and can only watch with wide eyes as she sashays away, heels clicking with every step.

Word spreads like wildfire and no one takes it harder than Mr. An, who calls her a “jezebel” and cries at the front of the law firm for hours, she has to step over him to go get lunch shaking him off when he latches on to her ankles.

The others just look at her with sad eyes, filled with both understanding and disappointment.

Much to her surprise the lunch boxes keep coming and her clothes are still pressed and starched to perfection though.

She also starts taking self defense classes, Korea is much more dangerous than she had first suspected and she has to be able to protect herself because nobody is coming to save her. Not anymore.

It becomes a great outlet for her built up anger and her instructor praises her for being a fast learner. She grins and nods before flipping him and twisting his arm around his own neck in a modified sleeper hold. When he taps on her arm she squeezes tighter instead of letting go and he goes limp for a moment before she comes back to herself and releases him hastily with a quick apology, “Sorry!”

He rubs his neck, panting for air and she feels guilty, there's a tinge of that but most of all she feels powerful, more so than she has for a long time.

It’s crazy but she finds herself asking him for drinks after class and even crazier is that he agrees even with her marks still there on his skin, the area bruised and red. He looks at her like she’s challenge that he wants to conquer, she lets him believe that’s possible. It’s only a bit of fun anyway, she has no plans for anything serious.

Drinks turn into a drunken cab ride home with his hand on her thigh, hot through the thin material of her tights and they don’t feel right- too small and not rough enough but she’s moving on and she has no time to reminisce.

There hasn’t even been a postcard lately. Message, loud and clear.

When she shoves the keys into her door, he’s glued to her body leaving wet kisses on the long column of her neck and she tries to suppress the nausea that swims in her stomach, everything feels wrong and she hates herself for feeling that way. Why shouldn’t she fuck whoever she wants? He is probably doing the same thing, everyday on his beautiful private island. Kissing women that aren’t her and whispering dirty Italian words into their ears as he rocks back and forth, nary a thought of that Korean woman he knew once upon a time.

Fuck him.

She rocks back into the purposeful grind of the hips behind her, feeling the hardness that digs into the soft flesh of her ass and finally the door opens and they both tumble in haphazardly and he thrusts a hand under her loose shirt fingering at her breasts before a dark figure moves far too quickly in her peripheral and she hears her date cry out in pain.

She almost faints at the familiar sight of the one person she never expected to see, the hard glint of his cold eyes as he twists the same hand that had just been fondling her chest. The grip looks painful, the wrist contorted in an unnatural manner.

“What the fuck? You have a boyfriend?!” Her instructor cries out, voice high pitched falling to his knees as Vincenzo kicks his feet out from under him.

She rolls her eyes, of course he would come now when she is trying (and failing) to get over him.

Vindictively she answers the question, ‘No.”

But that makes Vincenzo twist the wrist in his grip even tighter and she can see the bones breaking so she takes pity on the poor man, he didn’t sign up for a murderous mafia leader after all.

“Just let him go. You have no right to do any of this.”

He doesn’t listen right away and absently she wonders if she’ll need to test out her new moves on him, it would be satisfying to deck him square in the face. She dreams of that as often as she dreams of their reunion. Her feelings are...complicated to say the least.

Then with a grunt, he throws the other man away like he’s trash and growls out, “Get out of here before I kill you.”

She tries not be get turned on by that. But it’s a hard sell, her body already getting revved up. He’s telling the truth.

The man wastes no time, jumping to his feet and bolting out the door without one backwards glance. Asshole, he was really just leaving her with a clearly unstable and dangerous man.

“We need to talk.” Vincenzo squeezes out between clenched teeth, and her blood runs cold but she stares him dead in the eyes tired of this game they’ve been playing, if he’s here to end things she wants to know.

“Okay. Then talk.”

She looks insanely beautiful, with her hair cropped so short bringing his eyes to the tantalizing length of her neck. His eyes close in on a spot of moisture on her neck, he feels his blood boiling imagining that bastard touching any part of her. She’s glaring right back at him, her chest rising and falling and he can’t help but check her out, it’s been months since he saw her in person the photo of her doing aerial yoga above his bed couldn’t compare to the tempest that is Cha-young in real life.

The flat plane of her belly is on display under the white crop top loosely stretched across her chest which leads down to her slim hips and legs wrapped in white spandex, leaving very little to the imagination not that he hasn’t imagined her in far less many, many times. Too many times to count. Spilling across the silk adorning his king sized bed with only her name on his lips.

She looks fucking hot.

That makes it even more frustrating because he can still clearly see that bastard wrapped around her like a snake and his hands going up her shirt---he has to take a deep breath before he breaks something. Or chases that asshole to break his face.

There’s so much he wants to say to her, so much he owes her.

I missed you.

I love you.

Come with me.

“Who the hell was that?” He says this instead then watches her eyes glint over into nothing but pure murderous rage. Wrong move. But he couldn’t help it, green eyed raged taking away his decision making abilities.

“That’s all you have to say? Get out.”

He wasn’t expecting rose petals and trumpets when he returned but he definitely wasn’t expecting this, her cold glare or another man in his spot. He thought she would wait for him, just as he had done for her.

“Are you serious right now?” He counters, flabbergasted.

“Deadly. Get out.”

He clenches his fist, and then stomps out. Turning back but only to watch the door slam in his face.

What the hell.

It had only taken a letter from Han Seo to get him on boat that would take him to an open field and hours later he was soaring through the skies on a hot air balloon, on his way back to Korea. It was insane and he barely had time to explain to his family but Luca nodded at him like this was the only choice and told him that he would take care of everything, and he trusted those words more than he had ever trusted anything in his life.

“Vai a prendere la tua donna( go get your woman).”

He had nodded, gruffly patting the other man on his shoulder before hopping over into the waiting boat.

But he wasn’t so certain anymore that Cha-young was his.

She seems different. Colder almost, she leaves whenever I mention your name and she goes on dates now. I think she’s moving on hyung, what are you going to do?

Those words had been the scariest thing he had never seen. Scarier than every gun that had ever been pointed at his head. He thought what they had was something special, something that could stand the test of time and distance. He stared at the huge pile of letters on his bedside, all addressed to her. He had written one everyday since they had been separated, but each time he was too much of a coward to send it. In those letters he could say things that he could never say to her face, things like how much he ached without her by his side and how her smile was the only thing that kept him going. In those letters he could regal the ways he loved her, and how deeply she had been branded into his soul, every atom of his body belonged to her and her alone. He would kill for her, die for her, anything she needed or merely wanted he would provide it, all she needed to do was ask.

He could only share those feelings in the letters.

He walks for hours, until he ends up at his old apartment the familiar door greeting him and he sticks his hand in his pocket before he remembers that he gave the key away, with a sigh he starts to walk away before the door creaks open and he hears a voice he hasn’t heard in months.

“Hyung!”

A warmth spreads across his back as a solid weight almost knocks him off his feet. He reaches one arm around his body, awkwardly slapping the face that is pressing into his collar.

“You really chose to stay here.”

He feels the nod on his shoulder, “Of course. It made me feel closer to you hyung, I missed you.”

He grunts in response, before turning around and tugging the younger man into a real hug. He had missed the annoying little leech too, he had missed everyone.

They are still in each other’s embrace for a moment before Han Seo pulls away, sympathy etched deep on his face.

“She wasn’t happy to see you.”

“There was someone else there.” He hates the words even as they leave his mouth and Han Seo winces, looking pained for him before tugging him into the small apartment. Everything is just like he left it. He looks around in awe.

“I’m sorry hyung. What are you going to do?”

That’s the golden question, he pondered it all the way here and he’s no closer to knowing the answer to that. Usually she is the one that makes the move, she has always been the brave one between them. He back steps and says things he doesn’t mean and she sees through him and smashes down all his walls. That’s how this has always worked.

“I don’t know. Maybe I should just leave her alone. Let her be happy.”

A loud scoff reaches his ears, “Sure. Is that why you sailed across sharked infested waters and trusted a hot air balloon company run my former thugs?”

He smarts at the sarcastic reply and glares before flicking the cheeky brat on his nose, "I liked you better when you were stupid you know. Now you're a little smart ass."

The younger man looks even more youthful as he grins back at him, rubbing at his nose before shrugging. "I learned from the best."

He has no rebuttal for that so he tries to flick him again, giving chase when he darts off.

It feels good to be home.

He warns Han Seo not to tell anyone that he's here least they give away his location.

So he's not surprised the next day to find the cavalry at his doorstep hands filled to the brim with containers of food. There are tears, mostly from Mr. Nam who won't stop screaming his name and pinching his cheeks to see if he's real and Mr. An who wraps around him like a koala despite his very detailed threats. It's all chaos and so familiar that his heart aches but her absence is like a hole in his chest. Nobody mentions her but they all keep looking at the door, so it's obvious that she was invited but chose not to come.

Because she didn't want to see him.

"You're here to win her back right?" He doesn't know who even utters the words but when he glances up they are all looking at him expectantly.

He didn't know that was what he was indeed here for thought that she would happily welcome him back and they could pick up where they left off but she's made it clear that this won't be the case. This will be the most important fight of his life.

"Yes. I'm here for Cha-young."

He gets enthusiastic thumbs up and a loud giggle from the Yeon-Jin and Cheol-Wook’s adorable baby, her little hands too uncoordinated to do a thumbs up but she waves excitedly feeding off the energy around her.

He wonders how Cha-young would look with a baby in her arms, their baby it's a dangerous thought. But one that he can't get out of his mind once he thinks it.

They stay until midnight, forcing him to eat and drink too much soju until he passes out to dreams filled with a round Cha-young, belly swollen and protruding from her body.

It doesn't take much to learn her schedule(Mr. Nam hands him a laminated copy) and he has to put on a disguise but he enters the shop seconds after her, hearing her order that god awful sewer water she's so fond of.

"An espresso for me." He leans in too close, almost brushing her shoulder and she jolts at the sound of his voice, turning to stare at him as if she's a mirage.

"You're still here?" She whispers and then shakes her head and looks away as if she's hadn't meant to say the words aloud.

It hurts him that she thought he would leave without telling her but he can't blame her, he has been anything but consistent. Instead of answering, he leans forward to hand his credit card to the cashier who glances between them suspiciously before accepting the card.

Their orders are ready in seconds and he follows her as she walks to their table, butterflies in his stomach at the familiar sight.

She turns to him with a glare, "It's just the only available table."

He moves to pull out her chair and she starts at him tight lipped before sitting down. She's in a tight black suit today, two long slits on the side of her pants going all the way up to her thighs. He gulps down his drink to get rid of the drool pooling in his mouth.

"You're upset with me."

She stares at him like he's the biggest idiot on the planet, it's not a look he receives often but she's always the outlier in his otherwise organized life.

"Astute observation." She quips back, sucking loudly at her coffee.

"Why?"

He considered how to go about breeching this subject and in the end had decided on going straight to the source, he had been under the impression that this was working for them.

Her face morphs into a person he hasn't seen for a long time, the Cha-young that would berate him and make him angry enough to curse in Italian.

"Do you think this little of me?"

He's completely lost, "What do you mean? What did I do that was so wrong? Wrong enough for you to cheat on me!" He's panting now, his voice has gotten loud enough to catch people's attention he can feel them watching their table, nosy and invested.

"Cheat on you?"

Cold as ice, her voice is. It almost makes him shiver.

"How could I possibly cheat on you? We're not together. You send me the same postcard with the same message every few months. I have no idea what you're doing in Malta, who you're with. You can't even be bothered to send me a letter, do you think this is a relationship? You think it's enough to pop up like this every once in a blue moon? You've told me nothing about how you feel about me but I'm supposed to be satisfied with whatever you throw my way?"

If he wasn't sitting down his legs would have already given out he's certain about that. Her voice is deadly quiet each word landing and chipping away at his confidence.

"I'm doing the best I can! You knew it would be like this after everything was over, why are you blaming me now? How about you, I don't know how you feel either!"

"I love you! Anyone with eyes can see that, I told you that at the airport too. And again when I took a bullet for you, you didn't think that meant I loved you? I was willing to die for you."

Shit.

It's not at all how he expected them to confess their love for each other, it's hard to believe the words that are coming out of her mouth as she bares her teeth at him.

"So why are you doing this? Why are there other men?"

Why aren't I enough? He wants to say but he's scared of her answer, terrified that she'll say that she can't do this anymore. That he just isn’t enough anymore.

She stares at him long and hard.

Waiting for something. But he doesn't know what.

"You haven't changed at all. You're still a coward, I'm not interested in guessing anymore. I’m done playing this game.”

She stands up and walks away, leaving her unfinished coffee on the table.

Unwanted just like him.

She doesn't see him for days and she accepts that her words had done their damage, she had cried until she fell asleep that night. Waking up with swollen red eyes that no amount of concealer would save but thankfully no one commented on her state.

She goes through her day on autopilot and before she knows it she's back home, ready to face her night alone again. She pushes the door open, half praying he'll be waiting for her but her hopes shattered when she turns on the lights and finds no one.

"It's better this way." She lies to herself, pouring herself an obscene glass of soju. She's going to need plenty of alcohol to get through this pain.

Her head is woozy and heavy when she hears a sound, suddenly alert she stills in her chair before rushing over to get a frying pan walking on the tips of her toes she prowls closer to the clicking sound, finding herself at the window peering at a long lost friend. Placing the frying pan on her window sill she pry opens the window, screeching when the audacious bird flies inside landing on her table as if he belongs there.

"Hey Inzaghi! Get your dirty bird feet off my table!"

He looks at her nonchalantly, making himself comfortable on said table and she sighs before shutting the window and drunkenly swaying over to him.

"What are you even doing there? Do you want to be my bird now, I won't be a very good owner. I won't remember to feed you. I barely remember to feed myself."

Despite being a bird he finds a way to roll his eyes at her before standing up and only then does she notice something on his leg. She looks at him cautiously before moving closer and untying the paper on his leg, the pigeon barely reacts before flying over to her couch. She sighs in annoyance, she's going to have to clean everything after this bird leaves.

She unwinds the string holding the paper together, unrolling the paper scroll. There is a message written inside: the rooftop. 9 pm.

Glancing at her clock the time shines at her.

7:34pm.

"This could be a trap."

It very much could be, she has enemies now. It was a small price to pay for taking down Babel but she's always looking over her shoulders now, so this note could easily be someone luring her to hurt her or get back at Vincenzo.

Inzaghi coos loudly at her as if he can hear her thoughts. This time he finds a way to look exasperated.

She stumbles off to her room.

She needs time to think.

"So she told you that she loved you and you didn't say it back?"

"I was shocked. She was growling at me and looked ready to kill me at the same time." He reasons back, trying to show his hyung his point of view. The younger man doesn't look even a little bit convinced by his logic.

"Okay and? That sounds perfectly normal for you too. You should have shot someone and wrote it back in their blood on the table."

He recoils in disgust at the suggestion, "What the hell is wrong with you? Are you actually insane, why the fuck would I do that?"

Han Seo stares deadpan in return.

He puts up a hand trying to stop whatever response he has, "Don't say it."

It doesn't work.

"Pig's blood. Don't forget I saw it all, I've never seen Ms. Hong look so excited before. You're both crazy."

Well, that had been different. It was an old tradition, she simply had an appreciation for the classics.

"And I bet you're defending her right now in your mind. Noona is just like you, that's why you're made for each other. She's the gasoline to your fire."

"You know that would just make an even larger fire right?"

"Yes. I'm smart now remember? I know what I said."

He sighs falling into the comfortable familiarity of the couch, a spring digging into his thigh.

"Why didn't you say it back?" His stills at the barely whispered question, his chest constricting as he recalls the passionate confession. He had frozen, like he'd always known she was the brave one between them. Always doing the unexpected and the time was no different, her words had knocked him off his feet.

"Because I was scared."

Han Seo huffs at his honesty. He doesn't know where the words are coming from but he's tired of keeping it all in.

"Because if anything happens to her it'll break me, I thought it would be better if I kept her at a distance. I thought this was enough. I thought this would be easier. When I think about her I want to drop everything and just be with her and that...was too dangerous. I had to keep my distance."

There's a pregnant pause, just the sound of their breathing filling the void.

"Was it?"

"What?"

"Easier. Is this better? Enough?"

He thinks about Cha-young getting married to a faceless man, exchanging vows and sealing it with a kiss, happy and in love on their honeymoon wanton moans and screams from their room, learning that they're having a baby and her round and glowing with someone else's child smiling brightly as she rubs her belly and it's too much. He wants to smash it all into little pieces.

"No. It's not enough. I need her, without her nothing is enough."

"That's what you should have said to her. Don't glare at me I'm right, but I have an idea. I saw it in an American cartoon."

And that's how he lets his younger brother convince him to send a note to Cha-young using Inzaghi, the pigeon had shown up one night and he'd been so happy he almost kissed the bird.

"How will he know where Cha Young lives?" He asks skeptical even as he ties the note to the birds leg.

"I showed him a picture of her house. According to the cartoon, birds just know.”

He stares at the younger man, wondering why he's listening to this ridiculous plan.

"This is stupid. I should just text her, Inzaghi is never going to deliver this. He's just a regular pigeon."

"This is more romantic." He answers matter of fact.

"How is a pigeon delivering a message in anyway romantic?" He challenges already knowing from the shit eating grin he won’t like the response.

"The same way pig blood was." The brat counters and he doesn't get a chance to respond before Han Seo picks Inzaghi up and throws him out the window, "In the name of love!" He only barely stops himself from bashing his head into the wall, the younger man has to wrestle him to the ground.

It's stupid. They did all of this for nothing the cool breeze makes him pull his coat tighter around his body, exposed to the weather on the open space of the rooftop.

He checks his watch, 9:48.

She's not coming and the worst part is that he doesn't know if it's because that damn bird never delivered his message or if it's because she really doesn't want anything to do with him. The burden of not knowing hurts more than anything.

Expelling the air in his lungs he walks back to the single door that leads off the roof, twisting the doorknob in his hand and pulling it open.

Meeting the shocked face of one Cha-young.

They both just stare at each other before he speaks, "You came."

He can't believe it. Inzaghi had actually delivered the note, somehow the pigeon had found her house and she was here. He almost pinches himself to see if he'd passed out on the roof and this was just a dream.

"I didn't know Inzaghi was a carrier pigeon." She futilely tries to change the subject and he takes a step back, gathering the tattered pieces of his courage. The same courage that had propelled him to kiss her all those months ago on the stairs.

"I'm so happy you're here. I waited for you."

She stares at him like he has two heads before blushing, and avoiding his eyes.

"Come with me." He extends his hands and tries not to be too hurt when she bypasses it and steps around him instead.

At least she was here.

With a quick swipe of his hand he sends the message to his accomplices.

Now.

The lights come on, fairy lights decorating the roof top in a heavenly glow. She spins around in wonder, eyes nearly as bright she's so beautiful it's almost painful to look at her.

Then the music starts.

The soft notes filling the space.

When I walk down a road I don't know well....

She looks around in wonder, staring back at him she can’t believe what’s happening.

Then the letters start falling from the sky, all the letters he had written to her alone and missing her thousands of miles away. His plaza family smiles down at him, throwing letters from a higher building.

Cha-young stares up at the sky in surprise, hundreds of letters landing all around her.

It had taken a few days for Luca to send them all over and then another day to get the guts to do this, there was no turning back now. He had never willingly made himself vulnerable to anyone else, but according to Han Seo it was the only way he was going to win her back.

“She just wants to know that you love her too. Show her.”

He watches anxiously as she picks up a letter, stroking lightly at her own name on the front looking at him with stunned wet eyes.

“You wrote me a letter.” Her voice is revere and awe that he doesn’t deserve, not after everything he has put her through in the sake of protecting himself but he’s too elated to see her looking at him like that again, like he’s someone important to her.

“182. For each day we were apart. I told you I thought about you everyday, and every time I did I wrote you a letter.”

She stares at the letter in her hand, gently ripping it open and devouring the words on the page. Nerves shoot up and down his body as he watches her read his most private thoughts about her, her expressive face for once empty of emotions as she silently reads the letter.

He waits.

Breathless and terrified.

“Why didn’t you ever send them? They were mine so why did you keep them?” He hears an edge in her voice that makes him wonder if she’s only talking about the letters.

“Cha-young, I don’t think you understand.”

She breathes out loudly, stomping over to him until they are inches apart and he has no choice but to look into the deep pool of her eyes.

“I don’t! I don’t understand anything, I thought you had found someone else in Malta and the postcards were just your way of being nice. I thought you didn’t feel the same way I did, you were sending Han Seo letters but you wouldn’t do the same for me. What was I supposed to think? Why didn’t you try to help me understand, you were gone for six months!”

There’s so much wrong with everything she said, how could he find anyone else when his heart beats for her? How could he forget her when everything he did reminded him of her, he saw her every night in his dreams. But he doesn’t make the same mistake this time, he says what’s important.

“I feel the same way. I love you Cha-young. I thought this was better for you, that this could be enough. But I was wrong, I missed you every minute of every--”

“Come home with me.”

He stops, stares, gapes and then stares some more.

“What? I wasn’t finished confessing though.” Actually offended that she interrupted his planned speech. He was about to recite one of his favorite Italian love poems for her and then ask her to dance.

She rolls her eyes dragging him towards the door, “Don’t you think we’ve wasted enough time? It’s been six months and you have been here for too long, you have to go soon.”

She’s right, he has a flight in two days for an identity he borrowed for his escape.

“Listen to her, just go back to her place and have a good night!” That sounds like Cheol-Wook and then they all erupt into applause and start cheering and hollering, chanting their names and then to his embarrassment they start chanting, “Go have sex! Go have sex!” complete with the monks banging on their drums and he doesn’t think he will ever live down this moment, especially when he sees Miri capturing it on the new video camera he had gifted her.

He flips them off as an eager Cha-young pulls him away their laughter following them all the way.

The car ride is too long on the way over and she wonders how quickly she can undress them both as soon as they reach, there is simply no time to waste.

But once they get to the doorstep he suddenly freezes, tugging her backwards into his chest.

“This looks familiar doesn’t it?” His voice is dark and smoky and she immediately knows what he’s referring to, and she refuses to give him any reaction.

“Are you seriously doing this right now?”

“You let someone else touch you. Here.” He runs a hand up her neck, briefly squeezing, “And here,” she gasps at his hands suddenly on her breast, squeezing harshly at the tender flesh.

“So what are you going to do about it?” She knows that she’s playing with fire, but that is their foundation. She has never aimed to cool him off or tone him down, she sees the dark side inside of him and loves it, encourages it and feeds on it herself allowing it to bring her darkness out too.

He kicks the door open, shoving her side and she delights at the rough treatment. She hopes that she is filled with his bruises tomorrow.

She doesn’t wait for his next move, pulling her shirt up and over her head before tugging off her skirt leaving herself in a barely there lace panties and a matching lace bra that is translucent, her nipples peeking through the sheer material. He stares at her transfixed, his hunger evident in his eyes and in the tent forming in his tight dress pants.

“Take those off.” She commands and he smirks before obeying, peeling the pants off his thighs standing in his button down shirt and tight boxer briefs that leave nothing to her imagination, every delicious inch of him visible. She steps forward bringing their bodies in contact, before thrusting her hand inside the opening of his briefs. He feels hard and smooth, liquid pooling at the tip and she twists her hand collecting it to ease her slow strokes up and down. His voice hitches as she fingers his balls and without warning she tugs his boxers off, leaving him bare to her eyes.

Mesmerized by the unencumbered sight of him, she drops to her knees using her hand to guide him to her eagerly waiting mouth.

His flavor explodes on her tongue and she swallows more, grabbing his hips to drag him deeper into her mouth until she can feel him in her throat, but even after her eyes start to burn and she feels herself choking she doesn’t stop, bobbing up and down hungrily, sloppy wet sounds filling the room in a filthy symphony. At first he lets her control the movement, pliant in her hands but as she increases her speed and suction he starts groaning and huffing loudly and then she feels his hand on the back of her hand, keeping her in place and when she looks up at him he looks wrecked. Eyes dazed and his face red and flushed, she ingrains that image in her mind, for when he’s gone and all she has are her toys.

She stares back defiantly before he draws himself out of her mouth, a single line of spit connecting them and then he thrusts back into her mouth roughly and she opens her mouth wider to accept the abuse, loving every second of it even as a her throat aches. He sets a frantic pace, his balls slamming against her chin and she doesn’t realize at first that his grunts have transformed into words, too much blood rushing to her head.

“Mine. Mine, nobody can---ah fuck! Nobody can see you like this. Only me. You’re mine.”

He fucks her mouth like it’s his to use and do what he pleases, and she’s wetter than she’s ever been listening to him claim her verbally and with the wet push of his dick in her mouth.

She starts grinding on the floor like a cat in heat and without preamble he grabs her under her armpits and lifts her like she weighs nothing, his dick sliding free from her hot mouth, “I want to make you scream.” He says this like a declaration of love and she throws herself at him, kissing the words off his lips. His tongue swirls in her mouth and she wonders if he can taste himself in her. It makes her hotter and she grinds her barely covered pussy onto his naked length, groaning at the friction even though the thin layer separating them.

He tosses her onto the bed and she doesn’t even remember them walking, his tongue and his wondering fingers had completely distracted her.

She lays sprawled across the bed as he stares at her, like she’s feast he can’t wait to devour.

“Nobody has been in here.” She doesn’t know if he’s asking a question or making a statement, but she feels that his jealousy is real. Seeing her with someone else had done something to him, guilt washes over her. If she had seen him with someone else she would have lost her mind too.

“Nobody. I never brought anyone home before, that guy was a mistake. I was just hurt and missing you. I’m sorry.”

He had abandoned her for six months and she didn’t owe him anything but his pain is her pain and they are stronger now, everything has been said.

“Good.”

Then he rips her panties away and buries his face between her legs, prying her wide open with his hands and lapping at her with his searing hot tongue. Immediately he has his wish and she screams, loud enough to fill the entire room.

“Already screaming amore? It’s going to be a long night, I want to make you hoarse.”

She doesn’t get a moment to respond before he’s back to licking and sucking at her most sacred part, fingers deep inside her as he thrusts and strokes alongside his tongue, his fingers and tongue moving in tandem and she tries to stifle the scream but a particularly deep fuck makes the sound erupt from her throat and her head feels dizzy from the overwhelming sensation.

He has boundless energy it seems, as time drags by and she feels her body tightening up as he systemically destroys her, he never takes a break or pauses, slurping up all the liquid that drips from her and the sounds of him swallowing are beyond erotic. When a hand runs up her stomach and squeezes at a bouncing breast she can’t contain her moans of pleasure, crying out as his fingers pinching the tight bud of her nipple.

“Please.”

He coos in her, “So pretty when you beg.” Then he sticks his tongue as far as it can go and she hears the rush of blood in her head as her body shakes apart and her release gushes from her body, twitching when he laps it all up her oversensitive body recoiling from the overstimulation.

She has never come like that before, most men have never put in the work necessary to make her come and she wasn’t one to fake it so her experiences with sex with someone else were few and far in between.

This feels like nirvana.

“You still with me amore?” The bastard looks so smug, looming above her naked arms on the side of her head, and she had no idea when he took his shirt off.

“I can’t feel like my legs.”

He chuckles loudly at the statement, grinning growing wider.

“Well I can assure you that they’re still there and they will look great wrapped around my waist.”

Raising to his challenge, although her body is still buzzing she wraps her legs around his waist, they feel like jelly but she finds the strength to follow through with her movement.

“I was right they do look great.”

“Well this would look great in me.” She counters, grabbing at his thick ruddy red dick jutting from his body and he rocks into her hand before knocking her hand away and taking himself in his hand.

“Do we need a condom?” He asks her, looking like he is ready to stop at nay minute if she tells him that they do.

“No.”

She has been on birth control since she was a teen and there’s been no one for her since she met him, and she trusts that it’s been the same for him.

“Thank goodness, I want to feel everything.” He barely finishes his sentence before he’s easing into her, slow and steady. She lets him continue for a moment before she tightens her legs around his waist and pulls him in roughly, as deep as she can get him in this position. “Fuck, you’re so impatient.”

“Shut up and fuck me already.”

He grumbles at her calling her bossy, but she sighs when he draws out and slams back in with a quick snap of his hips.

“Yes just like that!”

He takes direction very well, repeating the motion until the bed starts to creak from their movements, he pistons in and out of her gone all semblance of gentle or slow, they have teetered into a speed that can only be defined as “break neck” and she feels her body sliding up the mattress as he pounds into her over and over again, she latches onto his neck eager to leave a branding mark on him and he groans at the suction, grinding harder into her and gripping her ass to force her to meet his vicious thrusts.

Absently she feels him peeling her bra from her body, the only remaining item of clothing that has survived their coupling and she knows exactly when he sees the scar. The grotesque knitting of skin that had left a permanent scar on her shoulder, she almost covers it up but when she peels her eyes open he is staring at her mesmerized.

“Don’t look.”

He leans down to kiss it, the softest more precious kiss she has ever received in her life.

He peppers more kisses all over, then strokes at it with a single finger.

“I should have realized, this was your confession. I was an idiot. I will never be that stupid again, I love you so much. I would do anything for you. Anything.”

He puts her legs on her shoulder, nearly bending her in half before resuming his thrusts but they are less frenzied now, it feels like lovemaking. Her eyes prickle when he kisses her scar with every downward thrust, whispering, “Beautiful, so beautiful. Every inch of you.”

She cries out.

With every thrust he kisses her scar, making her feel lightheaded and naked.

When he moves them into a new position, her back to his front giving him better access to her scar, she loses herself as he whispers sweet nothings into her ears and litters the spot with warm kisses.

She falls off the edge with his lips on her scar and him deep inside her, warm bursts filling her up before leaking out onto the bed sheets.

“Today’s our last day.”

Waking up next to him is torture, she tries not to ingrain that in her mind but it’s too late it’s already there. He blinks away the sleep in his eyes at her words and then nods solemnly in agreement.

“Yes for this visit. But I’ll always come back for you.”

She smiles brightly, “Don’t keep me waiting for too long.”

They don’t leave the bed except to get breakfast and that ends with her laid across the kitchen table getting taken from behind after teasing him. He can’t seem to keep his hands off her new hair, twisting the short strands in his hands and yanking on them. She catches him looking at her heatedly more than once.

Then they wind up in the shower, trying to clean up and getting dirtier instead, his hands tight in her hair and around her waist as he hoists her up to pound her into the wall. Making up for lost time.

They get messages from their entire family, Vincenzo showing her a message from Han Seo asking if he’s going to be an uncle soon. She promises to embarrass him in front of Miri very, very soon.

Both pretend they don’t feel the day fading away, bringing them closer to their goodbye.

Tomorrow he will be gone again, but there’s no guessing now. She knows what she means to him now and that’s more than enough.

She wakes up to an empty bed and a ticket to Malta, the ball is in her court.

#vincenzo #chayenzo #smut #but you know with feelings #romance isn't dead #you can find it in strange places #like pig's blood #han seo has the best wingman #the mafia family

116 notes · View notes

depressing-debbie · 3 years

Note

Fluff alphabet for eren please!! I love your writing :)

Thank you!! I haven't written for Eren very much, but I'll do my best!! <3

Post time skip!!

As always, I'm using the prompt by @snk-warriors

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

His favorite activity would probably be late night driving, either blasting music or just enjoying the quiet. For special occasions, he’d get reservations at a nice restaurant or maybe set up a fancy candlelit dinner himself (as long as he didn’t make the food). In general, he really just wants to be around his SO.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

I think he first noticed his SO’s eyes, and more particularly, the emotion and spirit in them. He loves watching when they’re passionate and their eyes light up, he thinks it’s absolutely stunning. He just loves the fire in their personality.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

He would be a bit uncomfortable or at least unsure at first, but we all know he has his fair share of experience with this himself. So, he would really just wrap them up in his arms and sit with them silently, his way of protecting them. Once they were calmed down a bit, he would ask if they want to talk about it or just keep sitting together, and he’d be happy to do either if it means not having to see them upset.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He doesn’t really have any plans for the future. He knows that he can’t make any guarantees about what’s going to happen, and it scares him a bit to think about making plans that he can’t fulfill. When he thinks about the future, all he really sees is him and his SO together, whatever that means, and it’s enough to make him happy.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

For the most part, he’d be somewhat dominant in the relationship, wanting to protect his SO. But there are also times where he just needs to go with the flow, be held and reminded that everything will be alright. So in that way, it’s somewhat equal.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

He has a bit of a temper, but not in any way that really matters. They probably bicker sometimes about small things, but he doesn’t really hold grudges, and he’d never instigate a fight about something important.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

He’s incredibly grateful for his SO and everything they’ve done for him. He knows he’s lucky to be with them, and he reminds them constantly of how lucky he is and how much he appreciates them.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

I’m honestly not sure. He wants to be completely honest with them, absolutely, but he has trouble being totally vulnerable like that. He would never keep secrets that could genuinely hurt their relationship, but he’s also probably not completely honest about some of his past and his experiences. Maybe over time he would feel comfortable enough to share it with his SO, but he might just not want to talk about it.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

His SO absolutely inspired him. He’s a bit of a pessimist by nature, and being with them, he slowly starts to let himself see the good in everything, and maybe even have hope for the future. Knowing that he has someone supporting him, and that he was lucky enough to find someone so amazing, helps him to become just a bit more optimistic.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He does get jealous sometimes, to be honest. He knows how amazing his SO is, and it makes him uncomfortable to watch other guys notice it as well. He only steps in if they look uncomfortable, at which point he will literally scare the other person away. He trusts his SO, so he would never get mad at them or start to doubt them.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Eren likes to live in the moment, and their first kiss reflected that. He probably thought about it for a little while leading up, but he didn’t have any kind of solid plans. He just looked over that them one day and thought about how stunning they are, and decided that it was the right moment. He absolutely asked if he could kiss them, and didn’t lean in until they agreed. It was small, but passionate and loving. He’s a great kisser, and it becomes a very regular thing in their relationship.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

He shows his appreciation for them constantly, but actually saying the words “I love you” would be really hard for him at first. He waits a bit longer than most people would, but that just means that when he does say it, they know he means it, one hundred percent. He probably wasn’t planning to say it when he did, it just made sense in the moment.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

The idea of marriage scares him a bit, to be honest. He’s absolutely committed to his SO, but he’s afraid of getting married without having any idea what’s going to happen in his future. In the end, though, especially if his SO wants to, he would absolutely want to get married. He’d plan a very romantic proposal with roses, maybe even somewhere more public if he thinks his SO would be comfortable with it. There probably wouldn’t be much of a change in their relationship after getting married, but he would secretly enjoy the added little domestic dynamic of getting to call each other a spouse.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

He definitely calls them babe or sweetheart, maybe even “love” when he’s feeling particularly romantic. He also definitely has a joke nickname that he teases them with.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

It’s not actually very obvious when he’s starting to fall in love. He’s always affectionate with his SO, so they probably won’t notice much of a difference. And the other people around him definitely can’t tell because he would never talk about it. His SO is only going to find out when he decides it’s the right time to actually express his feelings.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

He’s pretty upfront about it, and he loves getting to introduce his SO to his friends. And he’s not obnoxious about PDA, but a general low level of affection in public doesn’t bother him at all.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship.

He has a really sarcastic sense of humor, and it might even seem a little bit rude to other people, but his SO thinks it’s hilarious. They know he’s never serious, so the two of them go back and forth with witty comebacks and teasing jokes.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He’s very romantic, and I think it’s pretty equal between cliche and creative, but definitely leaning more towards cliche. He’s definitely a roses and candlelit dinner kind of guy, but he also just wants to make his SO happy, so he’d be more than willing to come up with something super creative to make them smile.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He will support his SO through absolutely anything. He doesn’t want to lie to them when they ask for his honest opinion, but he really does believe in them completely. He’s cheering them on no matter what, and he knows they’re going to succeed because they’re amazing.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

He probably does want to spice things up a lot. They probably have some basic level of routine, but he gets pretty bored when he falls into a very specific set routine with his life, so he loves trying new things. He especially loves that he gets to try new things with his SO, because that’s just one more way that their life experiences intertwine.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He knows his SO completely, and he empathizes really deeply. He doesn’t always understand what’s happening in their brain, he’s not a mind reader, but he can usually tell how they’re feeling, and he knows how he can cheer them up.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

His relationship is really important to him. Once they reach a certain point in their relationship, he’s committed, one hundred percent. He allows himself to lean on them and depend on them being there. Losing them would be really hard for him.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

He secretly loves taking pictures with his SO. If they tell him they want to take a picture, he’ll roll his eyes and tease them for being so caught up with social media, but it actually makes him happy. He likes having little memories together that he can physically keep with him and look back on later.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

He’s very affectionate. It’s pretty 50/50 on whether he would initiate cuddling or not, but he definitely enjoys it. He loves being physically close to his SO, and getting to put his arms around them to make them feel safe.

Y earning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner?

He’s really not a yearning type. He definitely misses them when they’re gone, but they’re both pretty busy in general, so it’s not out of the ordinary. He would want to check up on them while they’re gone, but otherwise, he’s just happy to give them a big hug when they get back and listen to all of their stories.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

He is absolutely willing to do whatever it takes to keep their relationship strong and healthy. His priority is that his SO is happy, whatever that means.

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