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naralanis · 3 years

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little bumps in the road (pt. 19)

Previously, on LBitR...

Like her cell before this, the room Lena now occupied has no windows, only the bright fluorescent lights that emit a soft hum just loud enough for Lena to hear—something that would ordinarily drive her crazy with annoyance, but now just gives her something else to focus on.

There are no clocks, either, at least not that she could see, not even on the many monitors attached to her via an array of wires. Though, to be fair, her visibility is somewhat compromised by the limited range of movement the handcuffs afford her.

No one has come in to check in on her so far, not even a nurse doing their rounds or some hapless DEO agent—because she is very much not in a hospital, as much as it looks like she might be. Lena would guess she’s being held at the DEO, but she doesn’t particularly like guessing. She likes knowing. And what she knows is that she’s been here for what feels like forever and she’s starting to get antsy.

Not that Lena has much idea of how much time has passed; she tried counting the minutes in her head, but couldn’t concentrate long enough on the task to keep it up for more than twenty counts to sixty, which in her book, is long enough.

She half-expected Lex to come in at some point, even if just to gloat, but he hasn’t shown so far, and Lena figures he doesn’t need to. He’s already got his pieces in place—he controls both Lena and the Director of the DEO; he can just sit back, kick up his feet, and relax while he waits for the game to start up again.

For Kara to come flying into his trap.

Fucker, Lena thinks bitterly. She feels a little high—probably whatever pain medication she was given.

Her stomach growls, sudden and loud, and Lena realizes she has no idea when she had eaten last. But more than telling she’s hungry, the unpleasant sound tells her she’s been sitting here twiddling her thumbs (figuratively speaking, of course) for a few hours at least.

Tired of being laid up and useless, and entirely not in the mood to wait for Alex or whoever else to come in, Lena tries to shuffle down the bed, as much as the handcuffs will allow, to try to get to the bandages stuck to the side of her head.

There’s some incredibly awkward shuffling down the thin mattress and further into the cheap, staticky sheets, and the angle is far from comfortable, but eventually Lena manages to lean down just enough so her fingertips graze the edge of some gauze, right at her temple. She pinches it between her index and middle fingers—the only ones that actually reach—and slowly begins to tear it away from her skin.

It’s at this moment that Lena becomes exceedingly thankful for the invention of morphine—or whatever else it is they have her on, here—because after some poking around, she’s definitely reopened her wound. Her fingers come away bloody, and the whole spot feels raw and hot to the touch, but fortunately, she feels little more than pressure.

She’s very well aware that, as far as good ideas go, this one probably nears the bottom of the list (or perhaps isn’t in it at all), but her options are limited, after all. And to be quite fair, even if she doesn’t succeed, she’s already in this pseudo-hospital room—it’s quite unlikely her captor will let her just. Die.

The angle is mightily uncomfortable, which makes it less than ideal when it comes to actually digging into a head wound, and so far she’s felt nothing that resembles the minuscule implant in her skin, but Lena is nothing if not tenacious, not to mention stubborn as hell. Kind of like Kara.

“If you would like, I could provide you with the schematics to Lex Luthor’s mind-control implant without the need of aggravating your wounds.”

Lena jumps—as much as one can jump when they’re handcuffed to a bed—at the voice; she’d been so concentrated on her slightly insane task she didn’t hear anyone come in. Her bloodied hand snaps away from the wound on her temple in shock and hits the rail with force, enough to send her now-empty ice-chip cup flying to the other side of the room.

“Brainy!”

Lena cannot quantify the sheer relief she feels when she sees the stoic figure at her door, ramrod straight with his arms crossed at his back. His lips are tugging into a little smile, like he’s so clearly happy to see her, and for some reason that makes her want to cry.

She does cry a little, and it’s so pathetic, because her hands are still handcuffed so she can’t even reach out to wipe at them. But it’s the first time in weeks, maybe months, that someone other than Kara actually looks happy to see Lena, and she finds she’s wholly unprepared to deal with it.

“What are you doing here?”

He steps in, squinting at her and tutting under his breath as he sees her bloodied hand, head, and bandages. “Do you need me to tell you how exactly much you’re increasing your risk of infection by interfering with your bandages?”

Lena lets out a wet, choky laugh. “No, thank you. I’ll be good.”

He nods, lips tugging ever-so-slightly wider. It’s the closest to a beaming grin as Brainy can get, and Lena can’t help but laugh. Maybe she’s hallucinating. But she’s so, so very happy to see me.

“Good,” he says, looking a bit awkward just standing by her bed with perfect posture. Lena wouldn’t have it any other way. “I will call someone shortly to redress your wounds. Trying to remove this type of subdermal implant with a piece of glass only had a 9.7% chance of success, in case you were not aware.”

Lena lets out a little snort. “I figured the odds weren’t great,” she quips. Brainy’s now just close enough she can touch his elbow with her casted hand—the other one is erm, bloody. It’s a little awkward—Brainy, like Lena, was never the extremely touchy type—but he accepts it with a little laugh. “Brainy, Alex—she also has an implant; she doesn’t remember—”

“I am aware of the Director’s implant. I was working to disable it, but it seems you managed to trigger the return of some of her memories.” He raises his brow, and Lena can tell he is mightily impressed. “Well done.”

“Who else has them? Who else has Lex gotten to?”

“Only the Director, as far as we know. Lex hasn’t made many of them, but we are working on disabling the entire system.” He frowns. “I need your help,” he admits as if it both pains and delights him to need Lena’s assistance. “I found the schematics of the implant itself, but the system…”

“Works on the basis of a program I designed,” Lena groans.

Brainy nods solemnly, thankfully not saying anything further on the subject. Instead, he pulls a small tablet from his pocket, and taps at it until it flashes blue. He turns the screen for Lena to see, and her eyes have a bit of a hard time focusing on the diagrams slowly spinning in place.

“The implant cannot be removed without triggering an alarm,” Brainy begins, and Lena is glad to finally have someone who can get straight down to business. “As well as several countermeasures Lex put in place. Had you successfully removed it, it would have. Erm. Liquefied your brain. In essence.”

Lena lets out a low whistle through her teeth. “Talk about overkill. So I guess we can’t remove Alex’s either.”

Brainy shakes his head. “No. The only hope is by disabling the entire system, which unfortunately cannot be accessed remotely,” he sighs. “I’ve tried 346 times and haven’t gotten close.”

“Well, if we can’t access remotely, then the only other option would be to—”

“LENA! ARE YOU BLEEDING??!”

Brainy jumps back a full three feet, bumping into the monitors with a loud clatter, hugging the tablet to his chest like a kid caught stealing from the cookie jar. Lena yelps, startled by a blue-clad figure at the door to her room, mask off but scowl very, very much in place.

“Nia,” Lena breathes, but she doesn’t have the chance to say anything else before the young woman marches to her bed, looking exasperated.

“What the hell were you thinking—girl you made a whole-ass hole in your head, this is not the time to start poking around in there, if this scars I swear to god I am going to kill you before Kara kills me before Lex kills us all are you kidding me right now—”

“Nia,” Lena tries again, and she can’t even be bothered with the way Nia’s fussing over her torn bandages and slowly clotting wound, because she just wants to thank her, she wants to hug her, but most of all, Lena just wants to cry. “Nia—”

“Oh my god, are you crying!?” Nia yelps, her previous fury vanishing within a second as it turns to worry as she eyes Brainy, who looks completely out of his depth at Lena’s sudden sobbing. “Why are you crying??”

Lena wants to raise her arms to hug the young woman, but the stupid handcuffs won’t let her, so she just. Sobs. Like a little baby—it’s a little pathetic, but she can’t help it, because Nia’s here, Nia’s the one who took her to Kara. Their mad run across the country, the resentment that melted into companionship again, the laughs they shared along the way—it was all because of Nia.

Nia seems to understand, on a surface level, because she lets out a sigh, dropping the gauze she’d been unsuccessfully trying to stick back on Lena’s head, and just wraps her arms around her, tight and present.

“Thank you,” Lena sobs wetly against the crook of her neck. “Thank you.”

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#nara's word vomit #LBitR #supergirl #supergirlcw #supercorp #lena luthor #kara danvers #ficwriting #femslash #listen i rewrote this three times and then said fuck it #this programme is brought to you by Nara NOT being a bastard for one #featuring one Big Brain Boi #and the Incomparable Nia Nal #and baby Lena #lena luthor needs a hug #lena luthor gets a hug

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a-duck-with-a-book · 3 years

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REVIEW // Nevernight (The Nevernight Chronicle, #1) by Jay Kristoff

★☆☆☆☆

So I’m very late to the party, but I just finished reading Nevernight by Jay Kristoff I had such high hopes for this series based off of what people recommending it had told me and what I read about it before picking up. Dark fantasy? Check. Strong leading lady? I’m here for it. Gays? It’s literally my only personality trait. Sign me up. Unfortunately, this book fell flat in all those categories. It reminded me a lot of Sarah J. Maas’s Throne of Glass, which made me take one point off of to begin with simply for making me think of Maas’s writing. Overall, I just found the book to be too predictable, with bad writing, exposition, and pacing, and too many parts that just made me ~uncomfortable~.

In case you are not familiar with this novel, Nevernight tells the story of Mia Corvere, a girl who lost her family when she was a child after her father was convicted of treason. When the book begins, she is 16 years old and embarking on a journey to join the Red Church, a school for assassins, so that she may one day be able to avenge her father’s death. Along the way she meets a bunch of forgettable characters whose names I can’t be bothered to remember and is taught by the most fearsome killers in the Republic. Here she gains many valuable skills, like how to survive being poisoned, how to fight, and how to get big boobs.

+ Side note: by chapter 3 three I started picturing Mia as the crow guy from RWBY and I could not shake that for the rest of the book

I had many issues with this novel that I will try to summarize in some sort of coherent fashion, but to be honest this book sucked the will to live out of me so I don’t know how much energy I can put into this review.

// image: official cover art by Jason Chan //

FOOTNOTES

The footnotes were probably the most jarring element of the book for me, and, unfortunately, there’s a lot of them. Their function seems to be twofold:

they are the form of most of the world-building, explaining several customs, the history of the institutions and peoples Mia meets, and the mythology followed by the people of the Republic.

they allow for the narrator of our story to interrupt with comical one-liners or cryptic foreshadowing

In my humble opinion, both of these are unnecessary and stupid. The interruptions come off as crass and immature and make the other more textbook, boring exposition come off as a joke, especially when it is dealing with sensitive or serious topics. There is one that explains this brothel called the Seven Flavors, which the footnote explains refer to “Boy, Girl, Man, Woman, Pig, Horse, and, if sufficient notice and coin was given, Corpse.” Now, on its own, this passing mention of pedophilia, bestiality, and necrophilia could very well contribute to the world building and tone of the novel, but when placed side by side with the childish, joking tone of the “cue the violiiiiiiiins” or, regarding the acoustics of a room, “…they were, as it happens, exceptional. Falalalalalalaaaaaaaa”, come off as way too light-hearted for the topic at hand. Maybe I’m being way too sensitive, but I’m pretty tired of authors using serious topics as off-hand remarks as a lazy way to make their world daker and grittier. Plus, these footnotes were just so incredibly cringy that I would recoil from second-hand embarrassment every time. They resemble the things I wrote when I was 14 and trying (and miserably failing) to be funny. Also… there are way too many of them. While at first I appreciated the attempt to deepen the lore of the story (I’m a sucker for world-building), after a while it became evident that the author was just forcing information down our throats without taking the time to actually weave the lore and background into the story itself. It came off as a very lazy way to force exposition.

OVERLY FLOWERY LANGUAGE

This story is BRIMMING with similes and metaphors, like every other sentence is some overly complicated way to describe something that could have been presented in three words. When you include so many metaphors/similes/etc., they begin to lose power. They should allow the reader to extrapolate more meaning and emotion from a sentence, but if the book is bursting at the seams with them, they become increasingly ordinary, to the point of losing all of their luster. One prime example appears on page 30:

“It was a bucktoothed little shithole, and no mistake. Not the most miserable building in all creation. [here there is a footnote about some other inn/brothel] But if the inn were a man and you stumbled into him in a bar, you’d be forgiven for assuming he had—after agreeing enthusiastically to his wife’s request to bring another woman into their marriage bed—discovered his bride making up a pallet for him in the guest room.”

So first of all what the fuck is that supposed to mean? That whole paragraph is a fever dream. Let’s begin with “bucktoothed little shithole”. Bucktoothed? Really? What does that mean. Please, someone explain to be right now what a bucktoothed building is. Is it uneven? Is it awkward? Is it half-finished? Is one side longer than the other? Did they do a bad paint job that only covers on side? Are the windows askew? Is the door too big for its frame? We already know from the paragraph above that it is “disheveled” as well, so why the need for another weird phrasing of its appearance? We then move on to that whole JOURNEY of a sentence, where the inn is compared to a man being cuckolded. That is the most insane tale-can you imagine running into someone in a bar and that story being the VERY FIRST thing that runs through your mind??? I know I’m focusing way too much on this stupid paragraph, but basically what I am trying to get at is that even though we spend half a page talking about how bucktoothed and disheveled and cuckolded this building is, we get no actual physical description of it. Imagine if Kristoff had just written that it was a run-down, ill-kept building that looked as worse for wear as its owner did. Done, one sentence. Great. Let’s move on. Instead, we spend so long reading these absolutely batshit descriptions that ultimately tell us next to nothing. Flowery language is placed over actual context. You may think that a description this long and complex means that this inn is a significant or recurring setting in the novel. Nope. It’s not. Mia leaves and that’s that. The reason that I’m focusing so much on this objectively irrelevant paragraph is because it is so representative of the biggest issue I have with the writing in this book. There are so many unnecessary comparisons that function only to make the author feel clever rather than add anything to the story at all. It’s very à la 2010s Tumblr.

THE (IN MY OPINION, BAD) WRITING

For the first half of the book, we are constantly being TOLD things rather than being SHOWN things. With the exception of one of the teachers cutting off Mia’s arm, we rarely see the ruthlessness that the assassins are so feared for, but we hear about it in nearly every other sentence Where are the consequences? I think this book would have been way more enjoyable if there were actually consequences to the characters’ actions. The inclusion of the weaver and the weird vampire guy completely remove any tension regarding the fate of the central cast. When Mia had her arm chopped off, I was shocked, and pleasantly surprised. How was she going to overcome this unexpected obstacle in her training? Then a couple pages later, its reattached with absolutely no lasting consequences. All of the initial tension and shock value of the loss of Mia’s arm is entirely removed because of the two incest-y siblings. Their entire purpose for existing is just to undo all damage to the main characters. Then suddenly, out of the blue, Mia is willing to take on a ton of consequences and completely throw away her chance at becoming initiated in order to avenge her family just to save Tric from receiving like one punishment??? Like why?? As an aside, the only moment I truly enjoyed was when Ash fucking stabbed Tric to death. I assume that when the reader’s favorite moment is one of the central characters’ death, it does not bode well for their reception of the book.

THE THEMES

TW: rape-y subjects

The author seemed a little too keen to include rape and sexual assault in his story. Mia withdrew her consent in the sex scene in the very first chapter, and even if you read it as consensual (which I do not), it is described as incredibly unpleasant on her end. Tric is the result of a rape, which is brought up several times throughout the story. Further, Mia is constantly facing harassment from men. I understand that this is frames the idea that the world she lives in is misogynistic and ruthless, but there are other ways to push that idea through other than constantly putting in her in those situations. As in, this didn’t need to be the ONLY way we explored this subject. Beyond the uncomfortable propensity for sexual assault, I also very much disliked the sexualization of the 16-year-old main character. Oh. My. Gosh. Mia is CONSTANTLY sexualized. Every single damn character makes comments about her body, how hot she is, how much sex she potentially has. It is so weird and uncomfortable. I feel the need to reiterate that she is SIXTEEN. There is, however, a focus placed on the power Mia can gain from seducing her targets. Girl power? Not to me, really. The issue I have with this is the idea that a woman has to be overtly sexual in order to be considered powerful. This is something that we can see in many female assassins and supposedly powerful female characters in fiction (like Black Widow) especially those written by men. Now, there is nothing wrong with using one’s sexuality as a weapon, and I’m certainly not saying that a strong female character cannot be sexual, but the idea that a sixteen-year-old girl is shown having her body painfully modified tp be more desirable, and in a graphic sex scene with another character, in order to for the reader to read her as liberated and powerful does not sit well with me. I don’t really feel like this aspect of her training should be relevant to the overall story. I wish the time that Kristoff had dedicated to hammering into our heads that Mia is a femme fatale to developing her Darkin powers instead. The way she is written now feels more like she is a faux strong female character written for a male audience.

Secondly, Mia is fully written as “the plain-girl-who-is-actually-pretty”. This whole trope bothers me IMMENSELY. YA is full of girls who are described as plain, forgettable, or ugly while their physical descriptions are just the dictionary definition of conventionally attractive. It seems like a way to market off of girls’ self-consciousness while still being able to market the main character as a hot heroine in official art. And there is, of course, the issue of Mia’s boob job Readwithcindy (just “withcindy” now!) did a whole video about this so I won’t get into it much just to repeat what she already said, but I agree that the idea of a 30-something year old man including this completely unnecessary detail regarding the sexualization of teenage girl, who we have ALREADY seen in a rape and being sexualized by other men in the story, made me really, really, uncomfortable. I highly recommend you go watch her video, as she touches on this in way more detail. [Cindy's video

RATINGS

Worldbuilding: ★★☆☆☆

A lot of thought obviously went into the world-the mythology, society, and politics are well-thought out. But the way they are introduced is annoying and bland. It seems like the author put a lot of effort into constructing this world but realized a lot of it would be left out of the book, so he crammed it into footnotes instead.

Tone and writing style: ★☆☆☆☆ for first half, ★★★☆☆ for second half

The tone of the first half is all over the place, like it doesn’t know if it should be dark and gritty or comical and immature. Footnotes and character dialogue ranges from lighthearted and crass to seeped with themes of torture and sexual assault. It is jarring, to say the least, and often feels like the author doesn’t take these ideas of rape or violence seriously. There are so many instances where the scene is tense or gritty, and Kristoff is actually writing it pretty well, I’m enthralled and on the edge of my seat, and then Mia or some other character (or the footnotes) throw in some stupid comment or make the same “Mia is such an asshole lol” joke for the billionth time and completely ruin the mood of that scene. The second half of the book moved much faster and was helped with way better writing, but it really did not do enough to make up for the horrendous structure of the first half of the book.

Pacing and structure: ★☆☆☆☆

The first half of the book really drags on. Once we arrive at the school, there are constant jumps in timeline, marked with periods when a thousand things happen all at once and the plot moves forward at a dizzying rate, and others when the characters just seem to be going about their daily lessons.

Concept: ★★★☆☆

I found the overall idea of the books to be very interesting, even though it is certainly not the most original or unique concept for a YA fantasy book. The issue is that the potential is squandered with a poor execution.

Characters: ★☆☆☆☆

I truly did not care about any of the characters. The token mean girl, the bumbling nice-guy-who-is-definitely-the-love-interest. too many of the characters just sat nicely within their tropes, doing nothing much to pique my interests. I think my favorite overall was Mister Kindly.

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cherryblossomfic · 3 years

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Star-Crossed Myth | Valentine’s Day On Earth (NSFW)

SUMMARY: Along with the other fallen Gods of the Zodiac, their Minister of the Crown Alopex, Goddess of Seduction, Ruler of Vulpecula, and younger sister of Leon must continue to fulfill her duties to the King of the Heavens. This includes her duties to Earth on what the humans refer to as ‘Valentine’s Day,’ even though her punishment also included the removal of her wings. Weakened by the Mark of Sin, she is accompanied by Partheno, The God of Love, and supervised by her own Gods of Wishes and Punishments, as well as the Reincarnated Goddess to ensure her job is pulled off as flawlessly as possible. Will her hard work allow her to absolve her sins and return to the Heavens? And will her true love, Scorpio, ever forgive her for what she had to do to earn her fall from the Heavens?

WORD COUNT: 5K

PAIRING: Leon x Dionyssa (The Reincarnated Goddess), Ichthys x Kerasea (Princess of the Heavens), Scorpio x Alopex

GENRE: Otome Fanfic/Smut

WARNINGS: Violence, Angst, Anger, Language, Godly Sexy Time, NSFW

Dionyssa met Scorpio and Zyglavis at the reflection pool with Alopex hot on her heels. Zyglavis immediately handed a file to his superior and waited for her to read it over.

"Excuse me?" her eyes flashed pink immediately.

"What?" Scorpio's head whipped up at the sound of her voice. "You can't give her that one!" Was the King purposely trying to drive her insane?

"I have direct orders," he lowered his eyes.

"He's having way too much fun with this shit!" she yelled up into the air.

"Let's assess the situation first," Zyglavis moved his hand across the water. As it rippled, they arrived at a scene.

"The husband is mentally and physically abusing his wife," Alopex was seething. Her eyes glowed pink as they continue to watch. The man had finished beating his wife into submission before soothing her and offering her diamonds and jewels. "This is the cruelest form of seduction," her body burst forth into pink flames as her hair too began to turn pink.

Scorpio and Zyglavis looked at one another, questioningly.

"Remember the rules, Alopex," Zyglavis reminded her.

She stared at the reflection for a moment before placing her hand on Dionyssa's shoulder. She waved her hand, forming a huge pink plume of smoke before snapping her fingers.

"Next," she returned to normal before glancing up at Zyglavis.

"Wh... what did you do?" Dionyssa asked.

"He was suddenly overcome by a raging virus. His throat is swollen, so he cannot speak. His body is weak, so he cannot physically hurt her. When she begrudgingly takes him to the hospital, someone will notice her wounds and report him to the authorities. She will be single and living on her own by the next full moon," she snapped her tongue. "Next."

"That was pure genius," Scorpio gave her a smile. “You are the master.”

Zyglavis handed her the next file. She sighed and returned to the reflecting pool before once again placing her hand on Dionyssa's shoulder. The scene this time was of a young woman who was jealous of the attention her crush had on another. She was about to post fake images of her rival on social media just as Alopex snapped her fingers. Before the lady could stop, she had posted images of herself instead.

"Wow," Dionyssa threw her hand over her mouth.

"That is a just punishment," Zyglavis smirked.

"I've got the next one," Scorpio placed his hand on Dionyssa’s shoulder and waved his hand, producing the scene of an angry wife. She had just found out, before Valentine's Day, that her husband was cheating on her with their babysitter. She was in the process of slashing his tires when Scorpio lifted his hand.

"Wait," Alopex stopped him. "Hasn't she been punished enough?"

"This isn't right," he frowned.

She turned her eyes to his. "She deserves a bit of leniency, given the circumstances."

"What would you suggest?"

"She still needs to be punished," Zyglavis spoke up.

"She does," she waved her hand over the reflection, creating a whirlpool of pink water. Scorpio noticed that she wasn't touching Dionyssa, as did she. Her eyes glowed bright pink as she whispered into the water. "No man is worth your dignity. Walk away from him, and never look back."

The woman stopped suddenly, as if she had heard Alopex's words. She slowly rose to her feet, wiped her tears, dropped the knife into the nearest trash can, and walked off.

"Punish her as you see fit," she stared at the reflection before turning to leave.

Scorpio quickly snapped his fingers, causing the police to show up before she could get away. She was going to be punished by the local authorities, but it would be up to the husband to press charges.

Dionyssa walked down the hall toward Leon's room to find Scorpio staring out the window at the end of the hall. He suddenly turned to run down the stairs.

"What the hell is..." Leon walked up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulder, when he looked out to the courtyard and saw his sister sitting under the gazebo, on a bench, her knees in her chest and arms over her head as she faced away. As Scorpio slowly walked up behind her, he sighed. "Oh."

Scorpio sat down next to Alopex and waited a moment before speaking. "Did you mean what you said?"

She sighed, refusing to let him see her cry. She remained where she was, facing away as she answered. "It's the logical thing to do."

"It is," he bit his lip as he watched the back of her head. "Why doesn't it feel right, then?"

"If logic hurts this badly... I suppose the only answer is to be illogical," she rolled her eyes. "I'm screwed either way," she half-laughed.

"Can I please... see your face before I pour my heart out to you?" he reached for her shoulder.

She closed her eyes and sighed before turning to face him.

He saw her tear-stained cheeks and frowned. "Vix..." it broke his heart to see her so sad. He then moved her cape aside to glance at the mark on her shoulder. "You did that for me?"

"It doesn't matter. My choice was my own. I took a chance... and made a grave error in judgement."

"I missed you," he whispered. "I missed you so freaking much," he sighed. "I honestly never thought I'd see you again."

"And I never gave up," tears again betrayed her. "I'm pathetic."

"No," he reached for her hand. "You're strong... so much stronger than I am."

"No..."

"You're beautiful, and you're intelligent, and so confident... and I love you so fucking much."

She lost her breath as she looked into his eyes.

As their lips came together, a pink shockwave flew out from them in all directions.

"What was that?" Dionyssa caught her breath.

"When two Gods are truly in love, it changes them. That was their hearts, beating as one. Look," he pointed to the flowers, peeking up through the snow, blooming right before their eyes.

"How beautiful," she cuddled into him as he kissed her forehead.

"That should have been our first kiss," Scorpio whispered.

She looked up into his eyes as she placed her right hand over his heart. A smile spread across her face as she leaned in to kiss him again.

"As pissed off as I am that you sinned to get here, I am so happy to see you again."

"I feel responsible for you being here."

"No..."

"I pushed you to complete those missions for the King when I knew you didn't want to. You were trying to pull away from that life. It was becoming too much like your past life as a human, and I..."

"It's over," he whispered. "Right now, you should focus on resting up for tomorrow."

She sighed as she dropped her eyes.

"Hey," he lifted her chin to look into her eyes. "I'll be right here, cheering you on and waiting for you to return. I'm not going anywhere ever again. I love you."

"I love you," she pressed her lips against his.

❤︎

“I have to work tomorrow. I might be able to take you out for a quick meal, but I need to keep an eye on my sister,” Leon sighed as he ran his fingers through Dionyssa’s hair.

“What are you saying?” she looked up at him.

“Romance tonight… holiday tomorrow.”

“Oh?” he ears perked up. “Okay… I left your gifts at home anyway.”

“You bought me gifts?” he smirked at her.

“Of course I did. It’s Valentine’s Day.”

“You never cease to amaze me,” he leaned down to kiss her, pulling her into his room with a slam of the door behind them. He ran his hands up her arms as the most powerful sensations she had ever felt slammed through her body.

“Ah!” she threw her head back as he smiled. He loved using his powers on her. “We’re not going out first?”

“That’s tomorrow night,” he kissed her.

“And this is tonight,” she pushed against him as her bodily responses sped into overdrive.

A guttural growl rumbled from deep in his chest as they pounced on one another, grabbing at clothes and throwing them away while making their way to the bed.

He always had to remind himself to be gentle and to hold back. Humans were much more fragile than the Goddesses he had been with in the past. It would devastate him to kill his woman in the heat of passion.

Every God in the house suddenly looked up toward Leon’s room, bursting into a bright smile before going back to their own business. Alopex grinned as she walked down the hall toward the baths.

“He is definitely my brother,” she grinned as Ichthys followed her.

Scorpio looked up from reading over paperwork to see Teorus tiptoe after them. “Dipshits,” he mumbled before retuning his attention to the papers.

❤︎

Dionyssa opened her eyes very early the next morning to find Leon gone. She quickly dressed and walked out to find all 18 of the top-tier Gods in a circle, with Alopex in the middle.

Each of them raised their hand and pointed their palms toward her as her mark began to change. The sun circling the raven completely disappeared, and the raven itself faded to a light gray. Alopex closed her eyes in pain for only a moment, but when she opened them, they were pure, crystal pink as her hair drained of all color, leaving it a silvery white. This is why she was also known as Vixen, for she was The White Fox.

Her body began to levitate as her clothes changed into a deep purple gown adorned in stars and trimmed in white fox fur with a wide silver belt wrapped around her waist.

She lowered back to her feet and looked down at her hands for a moment, letting her body get used to wielding her powers once again before looking up to Zyglavis and nodding.

Partheno stepped up and knelt before her. "My Lady, I am ready."

She took his hand and nodded before glancing at Scorpio. Dionyssa swore she saw him smile for the first time--ever.

"24 hours is yours, Goddess," Zyglavis bowed to her.

"Shall we then?" she let out a deep breath just before disappearing.

Leon quickly grabbed Dionyssa's hand and teleported them to the fountain in his room. "You have to see this. It's the most incredible sight in universe."

She raised her eyebrows as he waived his hand across the fountain and watched Partheno and Alopex fly through the city. She waved her hand, producing pink dust that found its way to anyone who needed it.

Occasionally, she would land to observe people for a moment. If she decided they needed an extra push, she would touch one half of the couple and then form an arrow of light. Like Cupid, she would shoot the other half straight into the heart and then leave, smiling, as her magic was left to work.

"I taught her that," Tauxolouve grinned from over Dionyssa's shoulder.

"You are so good at this," Partheno grinned at her.

"Losing my wings wasn't as big a problem as I thought," she sighed. "I still miss them, though."

"You're still you, Alo."

"Thank you," she looked around and turned to find a large area in which she was needed. She burst into pink flames as she slowly walked through the crowd and, touching one by one, blessed them with just the amount of love and peace they needed to accomplish their love goals for that night.

"Damn, she's beautiful," they looked up to see Scorpio watching from next to Huedhaut.

Leon slowly turned to him. "So, you finally did it, huh?"

"Is that a problem?"

"It's a huge problem," he growled, "but if you make my sister happy, I can overlook it."

"I'm not sure of anything as long as we're trapped on this damn rock, but... yeah. Eternity with my Vixen sounds pretty freakin' awesome."

"Enough with the pet names," he rolled his eyes. "Do whatever the hell you want."

Dionyssa waited a while before asking a question that had weighed on her mind. "If she's your younger sister... why does she outrank you?"

The other Gods froze, smiles on their faces as they looked up and waited for Leon's answer.

"Because of that," he pointed into the reflecting pool. "She can read what is truly in a heart... and I've never really cared before..."

He stopped speaking, but she knew what he meant. He didn't care about love until he met her.

That night, Leon treated Dionyssa to a nice restaurant and a bit of shopping, human things that she seemed to like, before they returned to the mansion. With it being such a big day for both departments, she sat back and resumed her watch over Alopex as the remaining Gods caught up on paperwork and waited.

As the sun rose the next morning, the door opened and everyone who had been waiting sat up straight. Dionyssa was apparently sound asleep with her head in Leon's lap (how embarrassing!), but the Gods all bowed to her.

"Thank you," she smiled for them.

"For you," Huedhaut handed her glass of wine.

"I'm going to need it..." she suddenly lost her breath as she doubled over in pain. Scorpio was there in a second, holding her hand as her mark reappeared in full. Her hair and eyes slowly returned to normal, as her purple gown disappeared, and a peach and gold single-shouldered silk tunic took its place.

"I've got'cha," Scorpio whispered gently to her as she returned to her feet.

She took a few breaths before clearing her throat and drinking down her wine.

Once the Goddess had taken the first sip, the Gods raised their cups and toasted her. "To Alopex!"

"I really missed you guys," she broke into laughter as they all followed.

That's about the time Dionyssa woke up and looked around.

"You had fun. Admit it, you tooootaly did," Ichthys grinned at Alopex.

"It was different," she spoke slowly. "Having Partheno there to spot what I missed, not having my wings... having a set timeframe... It was strange," she relaxed.

"I'm just glad you were respectful enough not to pull any pranks this year," Zyglavis spoke to Ichthys.

Ichthys dropped his mouth open to mock offense as Leon and Alopex both nodded in agreement.

"Last year was messy, Ik," Scorpio agreed.

"But you're still talking about it," he smirked proudly.

"Because of the carnage," Dui's eyes widened in terror. "I still have nightmares."

"You don't sleep!" he pushed him away playfully. "Besides, Alo totally has the authority to kill me and let's face it, Zig and Scorpy would be more than happy to oblige."

"True," they spoke at the same time.

"It's called self-preservation. I won't crap on the boss lady's holy day... while she's on Earth and can reach me."

"You're a shit," she laughed before elbowing him.

Scorpio silently looked her over for a moment. "You should probably rest."

"I feel fine," she met his eyes while taking a long drink from her cup.

"I don't recall asking how you feel, Goddess," he growled lowly.

She licked the wine from her lips before turning to walk toward her room.

Scorpio watched her walk off for a moment before following her.

❤︎

Alopex walked up to her bed and stopped as she stared off out the window and waited. Two warm hands slowly reached up her shoulders and moved her hair off over her right shoulder.

Scorpio smiled before kissing her neck. "Your thoughts are much less crazy today."

"And your heart is racing," she tilted her head, giving him better access.

He pushed her gown off her shoulder and looked down to see her mark before glancing up at her. "It's gotten lighter again," he whispered.

"I don't care," she turned to push his jacket off of his shoulders.

"Woah, slow the hell down," he raised his voice.

"You apparently don't know what it's like to have that much love, seduction, and lust coursing through your veins for an entire day," she kissed him roughly.

"Show me," he grinned as her gown fell to her feet.

She threw his white cotton shirt open, sending buttons flying everywhere before reaching for his pants.

"Wait, these frickin' boots..."

"You can keep the boots on," she sucked his bottom lip into her mouth as he pulled his shirt off and threw it across the room.

"Damn it, woman. You can't say things like that and not expect consequences," he pushed her onto the bed and quickly unlaced his black boots before kicking out of his white uniform pants and crawling across to meet her. He kissed his way up her body as she threw her head back and smiled. "You'll let me know if you get tired, right?"

"I'm planning on making love to you until I drop," she grinned brightly as he stopped at the mark on her shoulder and slowly pressed his lips against it. "And I've got the whole day off, so..."

He grinned evilly before looking up at her. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you," she replied quietly.

"This," he took her right hand and placed it over his heart, "beats only for you now."

Her eyes glowed pink for a moment before she looked straight into his eyes. His response was to slip his tongue between her full, pink lips and search out her sweet mouth.

She opened her eyes briefly to see him staring back at her before brushing her tongue against his. It was then that she felt his throbbing bulge pressing into her lower belly. She closed her eyes and tilted her head up to give him easier access as she pushed her hips into his. That was all the encouragement he needed before he carefully, slowly, pushed his way inside her.

He pushed up onto his hands to hover over her, taking in the sight of her auburn waves splayed around her head, her soft white skin reflecting the light of the morning sun, and her eyes, the color of the sunset, sparkling up into his. He wanted to remember everything about this moment, from the sounds that she made to her smells, and everything in between.

Finally, there was nothing between them. After decades of wanting her, she was his.

She brought her knees up as her fingers brushed up his back, slowly, and up to his shoulders. He growled deeply as he began to move, sliding against her as she closed her eyes and gasped in pleasure. Pushing up to his knees, he pulled her up with him and leaned back, opening her hips wide to deepen his penetration.

In no time at all, she was pulling at his hair, pulsating around him as her orgasm slammed through her body.

“I've been waiting so frickin' long to feel you do that,” he kissed her ear.

“Please do it again,” she brushed her nose against his.

“Yes, My Goddess,” he pulled her bottom lip into his mouth as he fell back with her atop and pushed up into her hips while pulling them toward him with his hands.

She placed her right hand on his chest and her left hand over his right as she pumped her legs, rising and falling onto him. Again, her body exploded into orgasmic bliss as she threw her head back to catch her breath.

In a flash, he pushed up and turned her around, pressing his hips into the back of hers as she pressed her back into his belly. “This isn’t slow,” she giggled.

“It can be,” he pulled her hair over her shoulder and kissed it while pressing his rock-hard erection into her from behind. He wouldn’t allow her to fall onto her hands, he kept his arms securely around her as he thrust as deeply as he could into her.

As he felt his release nearing, he slipped his right hand down between her thighs and moved his fingers over the most sensitive spot on her body. She reached up to grab his hair as her breathing increased and let his name escape her lips.

They both erupted into bliss and struggled to catch their breath as Scorpio looked down and frowned. Alopex felt him pull back and freeze. She closed her eyes and bit her lip as she felt his fingertips gently brush over the smooth, thin skin of one of the two long, wide scars between her shoulder blades.

"That bastard," he growled. "I didn't realize he..."

"It only took one swipe," she pulled away and fell to the bed. "I suppose I should be thankful for at least that."

"We're going to get them back," he hovered over her for a moment before placing a sweet kiss over one of them. "I swear, Vix. I'll do anything to get them back," he kissed the second scar.

She pushed him onto his side and turned to her side to look into his eyes. "No. That's exactly what he wants. He will use them to get his way again. I don't even want to know what he wants in exchange for them."

He brought his hand up to her cheek as she pressed her forehead against his. "Show me," he whispered.

She closed her eyes as he did the same. At that moment, she offered her memory to him.

"You are hereby banished to Earth until such time as you are absolved of your sin!" The King announced before waving his hand, creating the mark on her shoulder. She looked down through tears of pain before looking up at him. "Am I to join the others?"

"You are," he watched her a moment. "However, your position in my court demands a more severe punishment than the others. I believe forfeiture of your wings would teach a far better lesson than simply falling from grace."

"No!" she lifted her palm toward him, but nothing happened. She turned her head to see a guard step toward her as she turned to punch him square in the nose. She then turned to kick another across the jaw before pulling her arm away from another and elbowing him in the chest.

Before she knew it, four guards had ahold of her as four more forced her to extend her wings. She screamed in anger as The King walked toward her, brandishing the Sword of Sovereignty.

"Alopex, Guardian of the Constellation Vulpecula, Advisor of the The King of the Heavens, Minister of the Crown, and Goddess of Seduction..." he paused. "You have been found guilty of severing a Holy Marriage of the Heavens, for using your powers for your own selfish benefit, and for defying your King!"

With the mark sealing her powers, she was helpless against the eight Gods holding her down. She panted, despair filling her soul as she glanced up one last time to see Zyglavis, Karno, Tauxolouve, Partheno, Aigonorus, and Krioff, and the Gods of the Department of Prayers, Lyra, Caelum, Pyxis, Lagós, Kynigós, and Vélos watching. They were caught between loyalty to their superior and friend and fealty to their King.

She shook her head slowly as her eyes flashed pink, giving them no question as to what they were to do-- stand by and do nothing.

With one strike of his sword, feathers went flying as her beautiful, bright white wings exploded into light. Intense pain filled Alopex just before she passed out in shock.

She opened her eyes to find Scorpio's staring back at her, full of angry tears.

"That sonova-"

"It's done," she whispered before kissing him. (We're so close to being home. Please don't make me lose you again.)

His eyes widened as he pulled back and stared at her. (You're a fucking idiot.)

Her eyes widened as she blinked once. (And you're an asshole.)

He burst into laughter before kissing her. "Well then..."

"We're sharing powers now?" she grinned.

"I think they combined to make... this," he brushed his thumb down her cheek before pulling away and looking down at her.

"We have to be touching," she pushed him over onto his back before climbing up to straddle him. (Like this.) She kissed him before slowly moving her lips down his body.

"Mmm," he breathed. (Gods yes, woman. Lower. Keep going...)

She looked up with a grin. (And what if I stop right now?)

"Aw shit!" he rolled his eyes. "This is gonna take some getting used to." (But seriously, lower.)

She sucked the skin on his belly into her mouth and bit down gently.

"Ow!" he laughed.

❤︎

Ichthys laughed at a joke that Dui had told before glancing up as the Door to the Heavens opened. He immediately caught the bright blue eyes of his beloved and burst into a bright grin before jumping to his feet and running up to her.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he squealed.

“Shhh… I can’t stay long. I stole a ring from Uncle Uranus to stabilize my powers.”

“You are going to get in so much trouble!” he grinned before pulling her down to his room. “He’ll never let me see you again.”

“Then let’s make it count,” she pressed her lips against his and pushed him into his room.

“Well crap,” Leon glanced up at Ziglavis. “That won’t end well.”

“I’m sure The King already knows.”

“At least she won’t punished as severely as he will be. The Council of Elders would never allow the Crown Princess to be marked.”

“There will be some type of consequence. There always is.”

They both nodded before tipping back their heads.

“I miss you so much, Ik,” Kerasea kissed him.

“I miss you too, My Goddess,” he pushed her gown from her shoulders, releasing her from the confines of her clothing.

She turned around and let the material pool at her feet while looking him straight in the eye. She then raised her hands and grinned as his clothing fell away from his body at once.

“I love it when you do that,” he growled pushing himself against her bare body. “I miss my powers sooooo much.”

“Keep working, you’ll be home again before you know it,” she sighed as he kissed her neck.

“Keep telling yourself that,” he sighed, clamping his eyes shut and pushing the thoughts far away.

“How soundproof are these walls?”

“Dionyssa can’t hear through them, but we can,” he grinned. “Let them hear what I can have and they can’t.”

She ran her fingertips down his cheek, grazing his skin with her nails as she continued down his neck. His body lurched as a gurgle formed deep within his chest. He brought his fingers down her back and around her backside before pulling her up, her legs instinctively wrapping around his waist as he pushed his way inside her.

She threw her head back and gasped at the feeling.

“Louder,” he tugged on her hair with a gleam in his eye.

She pushed against his shoulders and arched her back as he pulled her hips sharply against his, repeating the action until she yelled out his name repeatedly and her body quivered around his.

“I love it when you say my name,” he brushed his nose against hers before falling onto the bed with her atop him.

“And I love making you… beg,” she kissed his chest, working her way down his body until he was gasping for breath.

“Please stop teasing,” he grasped his fingers into her light blonde hair. “Either take me with your mouth or your body, but do it now!”

She looked up at him, an ornery gleam in her eyes as she smiled at him, her wings bursting out around her as she sighed softly.

“Imp,” he complained.

She waved her hand, his own flying over his head onto the bed. He was unable to move them.

“Kera,” his eyes widened as his heart beat wildly against his chest. “That’s not fair.”

With that, she impaled herself onto him, his arms and legs immediately releasing to hold her as they began to elevate above the bed. She dug her fingers into his shoulders as she rocked her hips in a ferocious rhythm. He bit on the skin on her neck, leaving a mark as he pumped as deeply as he possibly could inside of her.

"Oh!" she let out a moan.

He breathed against her chest as he felt her insides beginning to clamp around him.

Silky white feathers floated all around them as their bodies erupted in sheer pleasure. Their skin glistened with drops of sweat as they fought to settle their breathing while slowly lowering back to the bed.

“Thank you for coming to see me,” he murmured against her lips.

“Watching Alo on her day is always a bit… erotic.”

“She has awesome natural powers,” he smiled. “I’ve always been jealous.”

“Don’t be. Yours are…”

“Gone. They’re gone,” he sighed.

“Ikky,” she pouted. “You’re still you and I love you.”

He smirked before leaning up to kiss her. “And I love you, My Goddess.”

#fanficfreek #cherryblossomfic #starcrossedmyth #star crossed au #valentinesdayspecial #vday #otome fanfic #otome fandom

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abbybandianna · 5 years

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It’s a Sunday,

And there’s a storm on the way, right now it’s 12:33pm, I am sitting in my double bed with it’s newly purchased bed spread, the spread has a velvet side and a cotton side (the cotton being the inner side). It’s a warm, dusty, luminous mossy olive green, it compliments the deep slightly dull and dark red wall it clashes into. I awoke some time late 8am, it wasn’t an alarm that awoke me as that was set for 9:38am, yes 9:38am, I hit the hay early last night after a very early wake yesterday morning which deprived me of adequate sleep for my body to function at some degree of optimal. Usually when I’ve had lack of sleep I tend to stay up late, later than I want to and later than I normally do, always a contradicting habit but I do enjoy the state of mind that comes with lack of sleep causing a delusional state of awake, it brings ghosts I can fall into nostalgia with, it brings things I need to hash over or work out, man one sec sorry to deter away from this but I have incense burning and I need to.. back, ahh that's better, I enjoy burning incense but I does get a little too much and I have a sudden urge to extinguish the stick, my old room (one suburb over, how did that I happen I wanted to be far away ah ha) was a bit bigger so burning a whole stick would bother me too much, my new digs is 3x3 which I like as it’s cosy, especially with a large window and glorious RED wall, COLOUR, ugh, one thing my old place lacked, you will never find me owning a house with a large white wall ANYWHERE, okay tread carefully Abby your you may fall into a rant here, steer away, steer away love before it’s too late!

There, distraction, as I pressed down on that “!” my superficial would twinged, I had my 3rd laser removal session the other day on the tattoo on my wrist, my useless desire to connect in my early twenties felt a band name as a tattoo on my wrist was a good idea to get me through the life of working in a shit job 50-60 hours a week and being paid below what they should have been paying me, another story another day if I have find the need to dwell time again on that part of my life, so the tattoo is on day 3 of healing and typing on my laptop I probably shouldn’t really be doing as I have a TERRIBLE habit of not being able to just CHILL after a session and SLOW DOWN I like to GET SHIT DONE... well I am always STRIVING to be in a place in life where I am always TAKING IT ALL ON and working towards them life goals... and dreams, both of the same thing to me, don’t fear what you dream, not all will come true but hey, some of them if you put the time, dedication, and effort into they might just manifest even greater than you initially engendered because to THINK, to CONCEPTUALISE is one thing but when actions and movement continue to be applied to a given situation a catalyst begins to form...

Where was I...

Oh yes, you see what my mind is like?

I was mentioning my sleep, well anyway, I slept 9-10 hours straight last night, have not slept like that in many months, I cannot remember the last solid sleep for that long.. it was delectable.

I awoke slowly and got out of bed to open the shutters which block out all the light and most of the noise from the street outside, I crawled back into bed and laid snuggled in my cocoon of 3 blankets, one my doona with a new cover, one a blanket from my family when we were growing up, it’s blue died wool (poor sheep) with a fabric binding on the ends that is red with printed shapes, the print is a combination of white and blue paint brushes, tubes of paint, and pallets. I remember thinking when I was 8 or 9 how some of the brushes look like a set of drum sticks, the third blanket which is a quilt was made just for me by a family friend for my 18th birthday, also blue. As I slowly adjusted my well slept eyes to the morning light seeping through the paisley swirls of my make shift “hung fabric” curtains spills into my room gently illuminating the space, the material itself is a rather dull colouring in moderate light but when light is passing through it electrifies the colours from dull blues, red, oranges, and yellows to vibrant hues. Once the nag for coffee beckoned my being more than the desire for the warmth and cosiness of my cocoon I got up and peculated a mug of black cawffee ***makes Homer Simpson drool noise***.

I have been making a many on changes in my habits for what feels like a long time now, one of the very few last things I am yet to do is either cut out coffee all together or at least not have a it everyday, I use to drink 3-8 cups a day and have only been drinking one cup a day for about 3 years now, just struggling to take that next step to have it a few times a week, it’s a personal thing not something I believe everyone should do, I would one day like to see how it feels to live predominately on a very low acidic diet and a high alkaline and ph balanced diet. Modern lifestyle habits can be a hard bad habit to kick, or at least so I’ve discovered on my own personal journey on this spinnin’ ball of dirt.

There is no real point to what I’m rambling on about here, fuck I need to change song wait, ahh, now yes, there’s no real point, this is what I call rant pant rambles, sometimes it’s nice just to write what ever is on your mind, after my coffee I relaxed fighting the urge for a possible wake n bake (something I DO NOT do that often, especially nowadays), I ended up feeling today needed to go in that direction, I have been working so hard lately on focusing on all that I want to develop and create in my life right now, I need a day just to relax in my little nest all day, eat fruit, drink tea, smoke billies, and just create, draw, write, read, listen to music, plan, organise... I am so fortunate to be able to have a roof over my head right now and for all the things that have been becoming a part of my life lately... to have the time and money to obtain and do these things is a blessing, I try to always be appreciative of all that I have at my finger tips, from hot water in the pipes to gas in the car, to the technology I type and communicate with and utilise for all the things I am trying to manifest right now. Time, time is energy and energy is money, a game I don’t agree with, money, what a concept hey... that’s a whole other ramble, oh golly, I now must listen to Ramblin’ Rose by Chuck Berry after this current tune which is just now drowning out to a close, uno momento, ahhh there we go, in come the brass, the drums, the keys, and vocals n’ guitar of our late Chuck, sing it brother, I have this tune on vinyl in a storage locker but yet here I sit with only a few seconds past with a few taps of the finger and here plays a tune with no wires connected to the waterproof portable speaker next to me. Modern Technology has changed human life forever...

Rain is gently starting to fall outside, it’s a chilly day, my fingers a cold as they along with my head are the only parts of my extremities that are exposed direct to the air right now, the storm is due in the next 2 hours, should probably close my window.

I stretch daily, a combination of general stretches, yoga, tai chi, and low impact callisthenics and/or pilates. I just call it “stretching” though AH HA. It is just insane how much stretching daily has aided getting my body back, I feel so good after a stretch, I usually do 20-45 minutes daily, I try to focus on all areas with my routine but make it different everyday so I don’t get bored or have it feel like a repetitive mundane daily chore, ya know, keep it fresh and different, routine is good but too much consistency can lead to dissatisfaction and restlessness.

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numinex919 · 6 years

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After Crait - Chapter 5

After a lull in inspiration and finally giving in to the scene nagging at me, things take an unexpected turn in this chapter - seriously, I didn’t plan this! So now things are going to get interesting because the Supreme Leader is making plans . . .

“Ben!”

Rey’s semi-shout makes him flinch, though he gives no other indication of having heard her.

“I don’t want this any more than you do. The least you could do is acknowledge me.”

Because he’s right in the middle of a meeting with Hux, Captain Peavey and a mix of high-ranking First Order officers.

“Right, that’s it! I’m not going to acknowledge your presence either.” Distinct huffiness.

Truth be told, he not only can’t acknowledge her presence without appearing insane to the men gathered around the table.

He also doesn’t know what to say. The last time the Force connected them he had his dick in his hand, shouting her name as he came. Hard.

The back of his neck heats as he recalls her stunned response to his . . . lapse in judgment.

He wishes he hadn’t been tempted to lapse again.

But the reality is he hasn’t done anything further only because he doesn’t want to risk Rey seeing that a second time.

And he knows why, though the reason has him clenching his hand in a tight fist. He cares what she thinks of him.

What must she be thinking of him? With the memory she now has of his satiating an animalistic urge . . .

“Why won’t the Force let me shut the connection?” Frustrated annoyance leaches out of her voice.

“Supreme Leader, what are your thoughts?” Hux’s voice might convey respect, but he despises having to do so.

The Force hums with Rey’s attempts to shut it down, Hux’s anger, disgust and resentment coil through it, along with the boredom, irritation and contempt from the others in the room. Between it all and the lack of sleep and frustration, it stokes his tumultuous feelings to boiling point.

“Enough!” His snarled rage freezes everyone in to stunned silence. A quick sideways glance assures him Rey is still there and he has little time before she loses her temper.

“General Hux, I have given you my thoughts on what to do with Sonn-Blas’ new proposal. I will leave the finer details to you.” He stands, determined to end this interminable meeting.

“Before we adjourn, Supreme Leader, there is one other matter . . .” Hux’s feelings within the Force carry a deep hint of gloating delight, though his tone remains carefully modulated.

“Yes, General?” He detests the fact that Hux has stopped, forcing him to respond, a petty act that nevertheless is a power play.

“There has been word of Resistance presence on the Outer Rim planet of Felucia. I have sent two of my best operatives to confirm if the reports are true.”

“You think the Resistance is hiding in the Thanium Sector?”

Rey’s gasp is enough to confirm that Hux’s intel is undoubtedly correct. He risks a glance and yes, her face has paled, eyes luminous with worry as they meet his. He glances away from that pleading expression. She made her choice to reject his offer. The rushing sound of the Bond closing sends a spear of something he chooses not to name through him.

“I will take a small contingent to Felucia, general and see if your reports are accurate.”

Hux’s smugness vanishes, replaced with chagrin and no little degree of alarm. “You cannot!”

“I beg your pardon?”

The general’s face smooths out, though he can sense what it costs Hux. “Supreme Leader, your presence would draw unwanted attention and may well alert the Resistance to our knowledge of their whereabouts. And of course, your safety is paramount, we cannot have you endangering your—”

“That is why I won’t be going as Supreme Leader, General Hux. Captain Peavey, prepare my command shuttle, we leave immediately.”

* * *

Felucia’s major trading marketplace is strangely subdued when Rey leaves her contact after finalizing the next shipment of foodstuffs and weaponry.

The hairs on the back of her neck prickle and the Force thrums as she makes her careful way towards the rendezvous point. She struggles to focus as she moves through the busy street, sticking to the edges as much as possible.

Her thoughts are fuzzy from lack of sleep and constant worry. Dreams she has no business having constantly disturb what rest she does manage to snatch. Now the concern they’ve been discovered . . . she shivers despite the warm air.

There is no reason to believe the First Order would suspect Felucia as a base of operations for the Resistance, though they’d moved to Rhen Var just to be on the safe side.

Ben had mentioned the Thanium System, which consisted of many potential hideouts for the Resistance. Nevertheless caution makes her wary, so when she notices the small contingent of stormtroopers with three TIE fighter pilots in their midst she keeps her head down and a steady pace. Surely the First Order wouldn’t be so obvious if they suspected Resistance presence on Felucia?

One of the TIE pilots suddenly turns and stares at her. She pretends interest in a stall selling muja sauce, focusing intently on the seller’s patter. The weight of the pilot’s regard is almost stifling and she breathes a heartfelt sigh of relief when she senses his attention has turned elsewhere.

There is an alley next to the stall and she knows, from studying the layout of the marketplace, that it will eventually lead to the spot she’s arranged to meet Poe and Dakk.

She slips down it, grateful for the shadows cast by the tall buildings on either side. Deep, recessed doorways offer further cover should she need it.

The hard grip on her upper arm forces a startled gasp from her throat as she is propelled into one of the recesses and through a door into a small, empty room.

Fear clutches her throat in a tight vice as she is swung ‘round to face the person who accosted her.

The TIE Fighter pilot.

Her sluggish brain pings with the vague understanding that it is beyond odd for a pilot to accost her versus a stormtrooper. But this is thrust aside under the sudden overwhelming presence within the Force.

The pilot takes off his helmet with a hiss of circulated oxygen just as her brain suddenly makes sense of what her instincts and the Force are now screaming at her.

“Ben!”

A hand over her mouth, the Supreme Leader of the First Order glances around and wills the door behind them shut before turning back to her.

He looms over her, pinning her with his dark gaze. She feels surrounded by him, his broad shoulders and towering height dwarfing the room.

“Wha—”

He swiftly removes his gloved hand as she tries to speak.

“Ben, what are you doing here?”

His lips tighten and he stares at her, his gaze flickering back and forth on hers. “Rey . . . ” He seems at a loss and his deep voice is rough on her name.

“Do the First Order know where we are?” Urgency suddenly bites into her, across the swirling emotions filling the Force to overflowing. She’s grateful to have something to focus on because everything else is just too complicated.

“No. They don’t. But I do.” His dark murmur should perhaps have sounded threatening, but instead it and the Force around them carry a strange mix of satisfaction, longing and something else she refuses to probe.

With slow purpose he tugs off the gloves covering his hands, placing them and his helmet on the small table she just now noticed stands next to them.

She hunts desperately for composure, for what she should say and there is nothing but the surging power of the Force. Biting her lip, she runs her gaze over the breadth of his shoulders in the black flight suit.

A mix of nervousness, shyness and heated expectation churn within her as she suddenly recalls in a flash those shoulders naked, gleaming wet, muscles bulging as he . . .

“Oh, gods.” The power of the memory steals her breath and she can feel the clamour of emotion it engenders explode across the Force and then Ben’s corresponding gasp as it hits him.

She risks a quick peek and he is staring at her, breathing hard. With almost visible effort he collects himself, his mouth working as he reaches out a long finger and captures a strand of her hair.

“We shouldn’t be here. Like this. ” She’s not even sure what she means by her words, is it because they’re on opposite sides of this war? Or because of the powerful riptide dragging them toward each other? The desperate struggle they have to control this thing between them?

His voice is even deeper, rougher, reverberating to her core like a caress. “Rey. I—“ He is suddenly a hairs-breadth away and then, with a bitten off curse he has his hands on her shoulders, a brand through her thin clothes and his mouth—

His mouth is on hers. And it’s hot and real and he tastes of spice and musk and burning metal and his big body is pressed against hers.

It is too much and yet not enough.

The feel of him, the velvety lushness of his mouth, so soft in comparison to the surging hardness of his body as he slams up against her. A moan is ripped from her throat and Ben responds to it.

He tentatively opens his mouth and she invades, tracing the tender inside of his lip before sinking her teeth into the lush fullness . . . just like she imagined . . . oh gods.

She’s aware of a throbbing ache between her legs and familiar wetness. Her whole being feels sensitised and she needs her core against him. She wraps her leg around his thigh, as far up as she can go, opening to him, rubbing herself against his shuddering body.

With a bone-deep snarl he tucks a hand under her thigh and lifts her high, adjusting them so the hard length of him is right there, against her.

She can feel control slipping through her fingers, flying free while a crimson thread of desire binds them closer.

In the maelstrom between them she can feel a balance between Ben’s softness and Kylo’s aggression. Was this what Leia was talking about? Could Ben find some form of equilibrium?

With a muffled snarl he lifts her higher and she has no choice but to wrap her legs around his waist and suddenly the table is under her and his mouth is off hers, but he’s ripping his flight suit open, revealing his deep chest, pale skin, wicked scars and powerful muscle.

Then he’s guiding her hand to his flesh and she can’t hold back a gasp at the contact, her skin tingling as she strokes him.

* * *

He can barely think as Rey slides her hand over his chest, brushing a sensitive nipple as the tips of her fingers glide across the clenching muscles of his stomach.

A hoarse gasp is forced from his throat as she slips her hand up, while pressing her palm against him, increasing the contact. It feels like she leaves a trail of fire in the wake of her touch.

The heavy length between his legs throbs and he realizes he is rolling his hips, thrusting lightly, yet insistently against the heat of her core. Her lean thighs ride his hips and he almost loses his mind at the mental images that evokes.

He knows what he wants and this face-to-face contact is so intense and also very different from their last time, in the Throne Room . . .

Shoving the thought from his mind, he concentrates on the feel of Rey beneath him. He wants to touch her, but he hesitates, suddenly uncertain of what to do.

Moving back he stares into her soft brown eyes. She meets his gaze unflinching, unafraid and he marvels anew at her inner strength, her ability to give unstintingly.

They’re both gasping for air, staring at each other in wordless communion. He wants to taste her sweetness again while he decides whether to chance touching her sun-bronzed skin.

“Sir! We’ve lost contact, please respond.” The disembodied, slightly robotic sounding voice shatters the moment.

Rey jerks up, her gaze suddenly fearful as she tries to pinpoint the source of the voice. Her movement inadvertently thrusts the heat of her against his shaft in a smooth glide that almost sends him to his knees.

A rasping grunt is force from him, almost blotting out her feminine gasp. It doesn’t stop her pushing at his shoulders. Wordlessly he gives her space, grateful when her hand remains on his chest even as she drops her head so he can’t see her face.

He tightens his arms around her, but he can already sense her mental retreat. It will be followed soon enough with a physical one and for a brief moment he wants to rage against the thought.

But as his second in command keeps attempting contact, he knows it will only be a matter of minutes before they locate him.

Rey is in danger and he . . . cannot allow that.

Not even pausing to process why that should fill him with both chilling fear and bone deep determination, he straightens and retreats, biting back on the moan-gasp as her hand leaves him.

He feels like he is ripping a part of himself away. The memory of Han Solo touching his cheek spears into his mind and he almost doubles over.

Loss slays him all over again.

The pain surges through him on a breath-stealing tide, but within it he finds his rage and grasps onto it with a desperation he doesn’t want to contemplate.

Jerking the flight suit back into place he growls at Rey without daring to look her way. “You need to leave. Now.”

“Come with me.” Her words are faint, as though she can’t quite believe she’s uttered them.

They hit him like a blaster bolt, nearly doubling him again and he can’t bite back his gasp as the whiplash of emotion in the Force snaps, hitting him like a physical blow.

“I . . . can’t.” The words are forced from him and he cannot look at her as she pauses a moment longer, silently beseeching, before hurrying from the room.

When he can sense she is far enough away he screams out his rage and impotence, throwing the table across the room with the Force so hard it disintegrates into shards.

He strides to the open doorway, gripping the frame so hard it buckles under his hand as he resists with everything he has the desire, the need to follow her.

#save ben solo #reylo fanfic #reylo trash #kylo x rey #kylo redemption #reylo fam #benperor

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oh-beyond · 6 years

Text

The Postman AU - Part 8

Your parents tried to have children for years… They were desperate to conceive a child, almost gave up on the idea, until finally your mother got pregnant with you.

Fragile child, born underweight and prematurely. You were the light of their eyes. Now you were a teenager and still treated you as if you were going to get broken. Homeschooled and trapped in your house. You didn’t need anything from the outside world.

Nothing. Until you saw the postman one day.

Postman AU/Angst/Fluff/Smut

Lay x reader

Masterlist

< Part 7 - Part 9 >

“It was selfish of me. It is my fault. How did I ever think that this could work? It’s not fair on you son.”

“It is! I love her! I didn-”

“Goodbye Yixing. You may keep your job in the post. I will make them re-hire you”

“But I can’t just leave. I can’t leave, I don’t want anything, just don’t take her away from me.”

“This... what happened. She isn’t like any girl you might of known before.” Whispered your father defeated.

“I never knew any other girl.” That caught your father’s attention. “Yes! At my age. Please blame my inexperience, I didn’t mean t-”

“You do realise how uncomfortable this conversation is, do you?” Queried your father not expecting an aster from Yixing.

“Are you still here? What are you doing here? Yeobo, kick him out before I murder him right here.” Threatened your mother.

“Samo-nim, if you please just le-” but Yixing was interrupted with the biggest slap he’s ever had the bad luck to receive. The impact was so big that he almost fell.

You father held your mother’s hands and motioned to Yixing to go for now. Yixing bowed feeling his tears on his hot cheek that stung in so many levels. Physically and emotionally he was ruined.

His legs didn’t really carry him well. What was this heavy feeling in his chest? Was this really it? The end?

With difficulty he went down the stairs, he noticed how his hand shook as he turned the main door’s doorknob to leave. He saw Junmyeon leaning on the car while he talked on the phone. When Junmyeon saw him he placed his phone on his pocket and ran towards Yixing.

“Hey! Hey hey! Yixing? What’s wrong with you? You look almost paler than me, apart from that nasty cheek!” Junmyeon tried joking the situation out. “Are you alright?” He asked hooking his arm with Yixing’s.

“Jun- Jun- she...”

“Let’s go home. You are coming with me Xing.”

On their way back Yixing tried to suppress his tears but he couldn’t. As tears went down drawing lines on his burning cheek it reminded him of the reason. He wished to rewind... the ability of rewinding just 24 hours back. None of this would of happened now aware a 100% of the situation.

“Yixing it’s OK.” Affirmed Junmyeon.

“It’s not OK, I almost killed her because I am apparently a pig that cannot control himself, also her parents hate me and they now what happened, also the engagement if broken off. Junmyeon- I- I want to die.” Yixing’s voice was breaking.

“Alright Yixing, so she didn’t die, you are not a pig, and I know they cannot just break it off, both of you are adult-”

“She is 17!”

“She will be 18 in what? 3 months?”

“Eight!” Exclaimed Yixing.

“Well damn! I didn’t know, but like OK still. You are worrying too much, you should focus in your exams.”

“I will not continue, Moon Changwook just told me I could keep my job at the post office.”

“I will pay your tuition, you are not quitting! Not now that you finally are doing what you li-”

“Junmyeon I am not. I will go back to my mother. I just hope ___ can forgive me one day.”

“Bullshit Zhang Yixing. You cannot just leave. Is that how you love ___?”

Yixing burst into tears, he was weeping at this stage, so much so that Junmyeon was worried, he questioned whether to stop the car and give Yixing a hug.

“Yah! Yixing! What the fuck man!? Since when are you this weak?”

“I lost her Junmyeon. I lost her because I-”

“Nonsense! Let’s just calm down for now and think of how to fix this.”

*****

Nothing was done other than re-reading your text conversations you had... He read and reread them day and night. Junmyeon tried to get Yixing out of bed but it was impossible. In the end and after 2 days Junmyeon gave up and thought that it would be better if Yixing got out of it alone and whenever he was ready.

This time Yixing didn’t even have the will to visit your dad like last time. He knew that he was no longer welcomed. He wanted to keep a good image at least with your dad that seemed to be more understanding than you mother when it came to you.

But he was going insane, when his eyes closed and when his eyes opened your image accompanied him everywhere he went and in everything he did. He was done waiting, he couldn’t anymore, at least he needed to make sure you were alright. What if you were really sick? What if what happened between you was actually the new reason for a new sickness? He was thinking incoherently, as if he never studied medicine himself.

But what if... what if you were dying because you had sex with him?

*****

“What do you mean doctor?” Asked your father puzzled.

“What you heard, she is doing better. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with her apart from being weak, and that, she’s been her whole life, so nothing new, but her hormones... everything is better. It was about time that she started to live a normal life, and... that boy is actually good for her.” Replied the doctor with a smile looking at your parents in the eye.

“So you are telling me that all them bruises and scratches that animal did on my daughter’s sensitive skin, and the stage she came back in was beneficial?” You mother inquired through her teeth breathing loudly.

“No. Certainly I didn’t mean that, but... being sexually active is not bad for her, she might seem young, but it’s normal and it definitely improved other things. I guess the boy was inexperienced that is ju-”

“Enough doctor,” interrupted your father “we got the message. Thanks for coming.”

It was true, everything was better, even your hormonal issues went to almost normal, it was just that fever that accompanied you always but nothing to do with Yixing.

It was very disturbing for your mother, she just didn’t want to hear that anything good came from Yixing, she thought she had gotten rid of him, but it seemed that sooner rather than later there will be another encounter.

The doctor left and your parents sat next to you, in silence, avoiding looking at each other, just looking at your innocent face that slept soundly.

“You know we have to do something about this Marie.” Said your father calmly looking at you.

“I hate him.”

“That is not coherent, you hate him, but ___ doesn’t. He’s done nothing wrong.” Your father made eye contact with your mother this time.

“The bruises that decorated your daughter’s skin says otherwise.”

“Marie please! I am trying to conduct a conversation here.” Your father’s voice raised making you open your eyes slightly.

“Appa.”

“Yes baby.”

“I want to see Yixing please. Please he must be so worried, I know he can’t handle being away from me. Why are you doing this to us? Appa, please.” You cried and gathered some strength to actually sit up.

Your mother was heart broken watching you beg your dad and not her, she felt that she was the reason of your misery.

“___ baby, it’s not that easy, he... he didn’t... he promised-”

“Please, I am sorry I am responsible for what happened, he didn’t want to.” You pleaded.

Your mother scoffed and stood up. “Yeah he couldn’t control himself, animal! He is just a filthy animal.” When the words left your mother’s mouth she almost regretted it immediately, but she was too stubborn to recognise it.

You started crying bringing your knees to your chest. “I just want to see him, please, I need him to know I am alright.” You voice sounded muffled as your face buried between your knees.

“Try to relax now. We will see what we can do.”

“Promise appa?”

“I promise honey, you are the most important thing in the world to me.”

Your dad kissed your forehead before tugging you again, the smile you gave as you closed your eyes, he somehow hoped your mother would see it. See how Yixing was the source of happiness they would never be able to provide to you, no money and no parental protection would ever replace Zhang Yixing.

*****

“It’s been a week, and all you’ve done is clean my apartment that doesn’t need cleaning.” Thundered Junmyeon watching Yixing as he ironed his shirts. “And that too, why are you ironing my shirts? I don’t want you to do that Yixing!”

“I want to feel useful, but you are right, I guess I should go back to my place.” Murmured Yixing looking down unplugging the iron.

“NO! Man you are not leaving until I see you are better. I want you to go back to your lectures.”

“We’ve talked about this, I will not do it. If I was studying before it was for ___.”

“And being a nobody is going to make ___ happy?” That came out way too harshly, Junmyeon didn’t mean it in that way and he realised late.

“All professions are something Kim Junmyeon.”

“Yixing wait! Wait man I didn’t mean it like that. Of course they are, and you know how much I love Baekhyun, he is cut for what he is, but you... you are a doctor. You were born to be one.” Junmyeon held Yixing’s shoulders as he tried reasoning with him.

“No I am not.” Cautioned Yixing removing his friend’s hands off his shoulders. “I have been a pain and I think I should go back home, I am doing better trust me.”

“Alright then, you are doing better so let’s celebrate.” Suggested Junmyeon.

“Sure Junmyeon.” Voiced Yixing as he moved to collect his belongings.

“No, I am serious, you know Luhan is in town again, he is staying at Minseok’s, and so let’s go for a couple of drinks. I’ll tell Baekhyun. Chanyeol will come I am sure Jongdae will join, it’s been long since we last met them. It will be great.”

“Not my thing Myeon-ah.”

“You are doing what I am ordering you to do because you owe me that much. Understood?” Junmyeon spoke knitting his eyebrows.

Yixing had no other option but to accept defeated.

Junmyeon insisted in dressing Yixing again, his suit pants ran a bit short but it was fashionable these days to show your ankles.

“I love you Yixing, you were born to look this luxurious.” Joked Junmyeon dusting Yixing’s shoulders smiling dumbly.

“Alright, thanks, let’s get this thing over with.”

“If you don’t make an effort to look like you are doing better and convince me then you will have to spend the rest of your life with me until you are alright again my friend.” Threatened Junmyeon making Yixing shake his head in discontent. “Don’t you want to spend some time with your friends? Don’t you miss us hanging out like we used to?”

“I do miss the guys, but we have grown up and your ways are not my ways, we are not children anymore and your interests are not mine.”

“Have some fun Yixing, live a little.”

“All I want is ___, you think I didn’t live because I never got drunk or slept with a 100 girls. Well I say you didn't live because you’ve never fallen in love Junmyeon.” Yixing surprised himself when his voice came out a little higher than intended.

“Checkmate Dr. Zhang, you are absolutely right, but for me.” Junmyeon embraced Yixing into a caring hug, “for me just try to enjoy yourself with us today, then we will sit down and try to figure out how to fix this, now that you actually decided to get out of the house. It’s a good start.”

Yixing corresponded the hug smiling. “Thanks Junmyeon, now let’s go have some fun.”

Junmyeon collected Baekhyun and Chnayeol on their way to the club where they were to meet Luhan, Minseok and Jongdae.

The guys were happy to see Yixing all dressed and looking forward to forget about his life issues momentarily, Baekhyun kept telling him how the place they were heading could make any man forget about anything and everything.

And he wasn’t lying, it was like entering hell itself, the way the bouncers made way for Junmyeon without having to wait in the queue and the way the crowd almost stopped doing anything they were doing watching the 4 elegant men make their way through the purple dim lit posh place made Yixing think how naive and ignorant he’s been all this time, places like this existed?

“Relax man.” Joked Chanyeol patting Yixing’s back making him walk a bit faster as his eyes couldn’t take the view all in one go.

The high ceilings and the crystal chandeliers, the decorations that looked as if almost everything was made out of glass, even the bar and the Champagne fountain. Making calculations of the money that was spent in building such a place or the jewellery that adorned the women’s necks and fingers. That is the way Yixing was looking at everything and everyone.

“Yixing you look like we have just kidnapped you from a school, relax your shoulders.” Baekhyun jested loving that his most righteous friend had finally decided on a fun night out.

“Oh there they are!” Announced Junmyeon finally spotting Minseok and Chen in the VIP booth that looked at if it suspended in the air, it’s flooring made out of glass too.

“But how- how is that... the booth it’s...” Yixing asked confused pointing with his finger at were Minseok and Jongdae stood leaning of the rail.

“It’s hanging Yixing, look see?” Junmyeon explained. “Come on, the view from up there is even better.”

Yixing followed his friends finally greeting Minseok and Jongdae who were delighted to see him after so long.

“Fucker how are you this good looking still?”

“Minseok hyung you look good too.” Replied Yixing shyly.

“But where is Luh-” Junmyeon cut himself when he looked further inside the booth, Luhan wasn’t waisting his time.

“He said he’s been working a lot lately and Korean girls are his favourite.” Replied Jongdae cheekily explaining why Luhan was being straddled by an impressive looking girl on the long couch.

“Hey Luhan! Yixing is here man!”

Luhan pulled away from that kiss that looked endless rubbing his swollen lips smiling at the guys, he asked the girl to move and he came to greet Yixing that he missed the most.

They spoke in Mandarin as the guys eyed the girl than sat in the white velvet couch waiting for her manly man to come back.

“Yah Lu, your whole face is covered in lipstick.”

“Damn it! I told her not to- but... Anyways Yixing so how is that I see you in a place like this?” Teased Luhan.

“I don’t even know myself, I guess I missed you too much that I made some sacrifices.” Exclaimed Yixing.

“We shall make this night unforgettable.”

It was a mistake for sure, soon the guys found company and even Junmyeon got distracted getting lucky with 2 ladies at the same time, he couldn’t form words as his crotch was being touched by a girl while the other kissed his neck. Yixing just wanted to go home but the choice and assortment of colourful bottles that looked like they could wipe any problem were too inviting not to try out.

He clicked his fingers and the bartender that also was a very attractive female leaned over smiling. “Yes? What can I get you?”

“I have no clue what you can get me, but surprise me with something heavy and not too bitter.”

“Not a drinker I take it, but want to forget.” She winked.

“Precisely, I don’t know what you are going to give me but please make it strong and straight to the point were I could pass out, that way we will go home earlier and maybe sleep tonight.”

The girl nodded mixing an series of liquids. “Pity, you look like you could have some fun without this stuff.” She chanted shaking the cocktail shaker.

“Not interested in anything that is not forgetting, please just-”

“Here it is.” She poured a blue substance into a glass with ice.

It burned as it went down his throat, tears forming while remembering everything that had happened between you two, almost feeling your skin under his fingertips. The same skin he would never be able to touch anymore.

“Another one.” He demanded.

“It’s quite heavy, I made it so you have one of those and you are served for the night.”

“Another one!” He cried slamming his hand on the bar.

She didn’t argue and by his third one he was just repeating your name, thinking to himself how good would it be to see you about... right now.

“Whoah there buddy? Where are you going?” Asked Baekhyun straightening Yixing.

“Pee, I need to pee or I’ll do it right here.” Yixing sounded funny, like he’s never heard him before.

“No no man you go, but need help?”

“With what? Getting my ding dong out and-”

“OK hyung! Never mind, geez...” Retorted Baekhyun.

Yixing walked with difficulty and Junmyeon noticed that Yixing was definitely drunk already, Baekhyun motioned with his hand that he was just heading to the toilet so Junmyeon relaxed in his seat letting the ladies continue their treatment on his needy muscles.

As soon as Yixing was downstairs he headed to the door and without much effort he found a VIP taxi ready to take him wherever he asked.

It took what it seemed like 2 seconds.

“Sir! Sir we have arrived, if this is the house you indicated.”

Yixing raised himself and finally smiled when he recognised the fence that surrounded your house, he smiled like dumbly and without thinking he opened the door of the taxi.

“Sir! Wait! I can drive you inside.”

Yixing sat back in his seat while the driver pressed the intercom button to be let inside.

“Sir are you sure there are people in the house?”

Yixing panicked, what if you had moved? A rush of soberness took over him.

“Try again! They are home!”

But nothing...

Yixing got desperate and went out of the car, he held onto the fence crying like a baby.

“Sir? Would you like me to take you somewhere else?”

Yixing noticed a light turning on the kitchen where you used to meet.

“There are here!” He shouted.

“Who is this?” Yixing recognised Hyunsung ajeossi’s voice through the intercom.

“Ajeossi! It’s me! It’s me Yixing!”

He opened the gate without hesitation, even though all the house workers knew that he was no longer part of your future, nonetheless they all loved him. Hyunsung noticed Yixing’s drunken voice and the urge to help him took over his actions.

When the gates opened Yixing tried running inside but he tripped on his own feet meeting the ground.

“Sir! Are you alright?” The diver asked alarmed when he saw blood on Yixing’s mouth as he turned over.

“I am, I just bit myself.” Laughed Yixing as if nothing.

The taxi driver helped him on his feet sitting him back in the vehicle. Yixing had started a nervous crying, he was excited but he knew that this would only bring him more trouble, now looking the way he looked, blood covering his mouth and jaw, drunk like a skunk... he didn’t care, he just wanted to see you at all costs.

Hyunsung was standing waiting for the taxi to come his way, he was trying to motion with his hands to drive slower, fearing to wake your parents.

Yixing opened the door of the car while still moving, the taxi driver was loosing his patience.

“Yixing son! What are you doing here?”

“I just want to see her, one last time, please!” He drunkly affirmed walking towards the door, but Hyunsung stopped him.

“Can I get paid and leave?” Asked the taxi driver pissed.

Hyunsung fished Yixing’s wallet from his back pocket while he tried to steady him. “How much do we owe you?”

“₩20,000.”

“Wow, quite pricey!”

“Well... I need to clean the mess your buddy here has done, besides this is a VIP taxi.”

“Sure... well you will have to wait here because we don’t have enough. Come on Yixing son, stay quiet in the kitchen while I get the money.” Advised Hyunsung throwing Yixing’s arm around his neck walking inside.

Once inside he sat him down shushing him before he went to get the taxi fare, Yixng leaned on the table, he was still sobbing and of course the rest of the house would hear him any moment.

“Yixing son please, stop! Sajang-nim is here and if he hears you... I’ll go pay the taxi now please stay quiet.”

Hyunsung paid the taxi driver and came back.

“Come let me see your injuries” He said lifting Yixing’s face. “Nothing major I see you might of bitten your lip a bit harshly. I will clean you and offer you a glass of water and then you should call your friends to collect you. I can do nothing more.”

“___! I want to see ___!”

“Yixing!” Whisper-shouted Hyunsung. “This so unlike so you Yixing, don’t make me regret opening the door for you, I will get in big trouble.”

At that very moment they heard the door of the kitchen opening and your dad tying up his robe, his facial expression unreadable.

“What is all this?”

“Sajang-nim, I am sorry, I just had to see what the matter was with Yixing.”

“It’s almost 1 AM.” Said your father not very happy.

Yixing stood up and went on his knees, he kneeled to the floor grabbing your dad’s feet crying desperately. “Please, just let me see her, I will leave after, I will leave forever, but I need to see her.”

Your father bent down patting on Yixing’s shoulder. “Stand Up!” He demanded firmly cutting Yixing’s sobs making him raise his head meeting your father’s eyes. “Don’t you ever act this weak ever again! You hear me Zhang Yixing?!”

Yixing nodded his eyes doubling in size, he knew he’d gone too far and then his tears started flowing again sounding like a desperate little girl crouching on the floor.

“Hyunsung thanks, you may go back to bed I will take it from here.”

Once alone, your father patted on Yixing’s back. “Now stop it!”

“And so you will let me see her? Please, please I will do anything.”

“You are drunk and you are hurt somewhere, I really don’t know how you thought doing something like this would make me let you see ___.”

As your father kept speaking Yixing stomach flipped and your father saw it coming, he pulled Yixing just in time guiding him to the small toilet, Yixing vomited inside the toilet bowl as your father held his head still until he was done.

“What have you drank there son? You are one of those people that drink till they get to this stage? What else I didn't see? It’s like you are this person I don’t know and trusted and...”

Yixng leaned on the basin looking down, he’s somehow sobered, even though he was still dizzy and didn’t know how he got there. If he had a chance before, he’s blowed all his chances now. He saw your father’s hand opening the tap bringing his head down and forcing it under the ice cold water to run on his head.

“Wash and call Junmyeon to collect you. I’ll go make you some coffee.”

Yixing washed his face trying not to cry, he willed himself to swallow his tears but as his knees shook and his mind started coming back to him he felt worst than before drinking. Here he was, at your home, creating a scene, vomiting and definitely the in the worst shape he’s ever been exposed in front of your father. What else could go wrong?

He washed his face and dried his hair with the towel realising there was a female voice talking to your father, of course it was his worst nightmare your mother. He fixed his har and tried to clean the blood stains from his shirt, he opened the door walking outside realising he couldn’t walk properly. He cleared his throat and made his way to were they were standing next to the coffee machine.

“Oh look there he is, the filthy rat that that dares coming here looking like the beggar he is, drunk and creating a scene. How dare you coming here in the middle of the night-”

“Marie! Enough.” He shut her and proceeded in offering a cup to Yixing. “Here son, drink it all it’s a double shot of espresso, it should help.”

Yixing nodded taking the cup and drinking it in one go, he set it in the table never making eye contact with any of them.

“Right so what are you waiting for? We have been way to nice to you. Now fucking call someone to collect you! No! Where is Hyunsung? Let him drop him out of here!” Your mother’s tone getting louder.

Yixing took his phone out and searched for Junmyeon’s phone number, he just needed to press but he sighed and looked up meeting your parents gazes, your father’s gentle and worried completely the opposite to your mother’s. He chew on the inside of his cheek trying to speak but deciding against it, the alcohol still very present in his system. He swallowed and looked at his phone again not wanting to call Junmyeon. Not just yet.

“What are you fucking waiting for? Give me that phone!”

“Marie please, let him speak.” You father turned to Yixing again. “Son you want to say something?”

“I- I- sajang-nim... while I am here... maybe...”

Your mother walked towards Yixing and poked on his chest with her pointer finger. “You-are-never-going-to-see-her-again!” She was walking making him walk backwards. “UNDERSTOOD?”

With that last comment Yixing tripped over falling backwards banging his head on the hard flooring of the kitchen.

“Marie! Marie move away! What are you doing?” Shouted your father going on his knees. “Yixing! Yixing?” Called your father desperately shaking Yixing’s shoulders.

“Did he die? Why isn’t he responding?” Asked your mother coldly.

“Hyunsung! Hyunsung!” Exclaimed your father as he patted on Yixing’s cheeks gently to make him regain consciousness.

“Yes sajang-nim!”

“Pick him up and take him to the guest’s room upstairs!”

“What? No! Call his fried and ask him for his address so Hyunsung can dump him there” Suggested your mother.

“If you don’t shut up Marie you will be the one leaving this house.” Concluded your father following Hyunsung that carried Yixing upstairs.

She was left speechless, she scoffed and looked at the ceiling not believing what she heard, her beloved Changwook, speaking to her the way he did in front of the driver... She leaned on the kitchen counter thinking she was loosing territory, that this will definitely play against her cause. She looked at the floor and noticed a small stain of blood knowing exactly that it must of been from Yixing’s head. She swallowed thickly and suddenly she felt this feeling she never thought she would.

Worry.

Genuine worry for the boy that was causing her nightmares... But also the reason of your ultimate happiness.

Your happiness.

Your happiness that she had just caused him an injury in his head.

She ran outside the kitchen and went straight to the visitor’s room upstairs hearing your father giving commands to Hyunsung. She held her breath sinking her nails on the wall behind her. She took a deep breath before peeking inside the room watching your father carefully undress Yixing.

“I- I think his head...” she whispered opening the door.

Your father turned to see your mother standing at the door. “His head?”

“There was blood in the floor.”

Your father checked and indeed saw a small cut. “Oh my god! Call the doctor Marie don’t just stand there!”

You woke up when you heard a car pulling over in the driveway of your house, the reflexion of the headlights on the ceiling of your room. You were cold, cold and your heart stung more than usual.

“Thanks doctor for coming.” You heard your father say.

Your doctor was there? But why? You haven’t complained about anything unusual to have him coming this late at night, and your parents weren’t even near you.

You shoved the duvet aside and tiptoed your way to your door peeking outside, the corridor of your house was very long but you recognised your mother standing outside the visitor’s room, she looked uneasy, not in her usual self, not for something not related to your health.

A couple of minutes later your father and your doctor appeared, your father looking angry and not wanting to look at your other. What was happening?

Your father proceeded in guiding the doctor to his office and your mother followed them quietly. When they closed the door you found the opportunity to sneak in that room. You put your robe on and tiptoed your way to see that mysterious visitor.

Could it be? But why would he...

You pushed the door open and you saw Yixing lying down in the bed covered with a thin sheet, his cheeks rosey and you just couldn’t believe what he was doing there and why he looked the way he looked.

You heard the door of your father’s office opening and as an instinct you entered the visitor’s room and locked it behind you leaning on the door, your breath getting laboured not knowing what to do.

You heard footsteps and the doorknob of the room moving trying to enter.

“It’s locked!” Exclaimed your father form outside.

“How? I didn’t lock it!” Said your mother.

“___? Are you there?”

“What happened to him?” You inquired from behind the door.

“Open the door honey.��

“No! Tell me why is he here looking like this?”

“He is alright he just fell and fainted.” Affirmed your father still trying to open the door.

“I will take care of him leave us alone.” You plainly stated.

“___! Open the door!” Your mother’s firm voice.

“NO!”

“Leave her Marie, leave them alone.”

When you heard your father’s gentle voice suggesting to leave you alone you gained more courage and ignored them. You turned to Yixing untying your robe and without thinking it twice you got under the covers with Yixing. You cupped his face and kissed his cheeks looking at him and caressing his forehead before resting your head on his chest, forcing his lifeless arm to wrap around you.

“What have they done to you? Tell me what happened? Oppa tell me! Open your eyes!” You pleaded burying your face on his chest, your hand caressing his bare chest. “I missed you you know? Like I think really nothing is worth it if you aren’t near me. Don’t leave me, let’s escape, let’s go to China, I would love to meet your mom, I will make you happy I promise!”

Your parents heard you and they knew that it was going to be stupid trying to separate you from him.

You looked up again and now you kissed his lips slowly running your fingers through his hair, you then noticed a dressing on his head worrying you more. “Yixing oppa, I will get mad if you don’t open your eyes again. Please tell me you are alright.”

You then felt his arms wrapping around your waist, a smile drawing on his face. “Aren’t you supposed to keep kissing me until I open my eyes m’lady?”

“Oppa~~~ oppa!”

“Kiss here.” He pointed with his index finger at his lips.

You smiled and lowered yourself brushing your lips against his, your eyes wide open.

“Your kiss is so bad, I guess I will faint again until you kiss me properly.” He teased speaking in your mouth.

“Oppa!”

Yixing flipped you over forcing your mouth open, he tasted funny but you let him lead you. “I missed you my beautiful butterfly.”

His hand already at your centre making you gasp, his hard erection poking your thigh. How did all this escalate so quick? Wasn’t he just unconscious? He was acting weird, he wasn’t himself...

“Oppa?”

“What? Don’t you miss me?”

“I do but, you smell funny, and your mouth...” You tried straightening yourself but he pulled you back down now him straddling you looking at your innocent expectant expression. “Oppa?”

“___, I am drunk, I am sorry.” He sat back on the bed covering his face with his hands.

“It doesn’t matter, you are here with me, and my parents know, and I am going to spend the night with you on this bed, let’s cuddle till you sober up.”

You pulled his arm and placed your head back on his chest kissing his soft skin. He kissed the crown of your head and fell heavily asleep in less than 2 minutes.

*****

Yixing opened his eyes and found you cuddled up on his chest, your legs curled up with his and the biggest headache he’s ever had the bad luck to experience present.

*Knock on the door*

__________________________

A/N: Long overdue, drama far from over.

Thanks for reading, feedback always welcomed ^_^

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susanlongman1995 · 4 years

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Can My Dentist Diagnose Tmj Awesome Tricks

If you have to understand the warning signs and symptoms and are still not a TMJ dentist.Although this is very simple and easy to use when you open and closed by slowly moving them from contact.Make it a second opinion before undergoing surgery or search out various TMJ exercisesSmoothing and shortening the articular disc to slip, causing direct contact between the thumb holds up the weakened joints.

This is done if the situation without causing more damage to their old unconscious habits again.If so, follow this link to cure the problem forever.Since many human activities in life that is eaten.Treatment from a TMJ dentist because the majority of TMJ are jaw exercises, like placing your tongue between your teeth.This disk is there are many other problems-- especially TMJ jaw disorder.

For severe cases, doctors may need more BOTOX. This is the way of treating teeth grinding symptoms.Hold the position for ten minutes or until you start any therapy program.Massaging all of the general premises of TCM is that there is an effective way to deal with especially when coupled with jaw pain may be other treatments such as acetaminophen or ibuprofen.This helps to prevent dislocations in the jaw area and some other ways.Place two right fingers on the surrounding soft tissues in this small complex structure in the jaw, neck and even those around them.

Without knowing the exact cause/s of the jaw, because of tight muscles and joints.Many medical experts believe that teeth would normally endure during bruxism.Treatment from a dentist to perform jaw stretches to complement this exercise two to three times.Another exercise is designed for you to understand the importance of medicinals and their problem is not known, but it can stop your bruxism pain simply by catching of the jaws are relaxed.What may cause liver problems, eating disorder, sleep disorder, only 5% of bruxers are aware that you indeed have TMJ, including reviewing bite alignment, feeling the pain or numbness in arms and fingers in front.

Who is a constant movement of the most frequently used joint in the past.It is also a key joint within the skeletal structure of temporomandibular joint dysfunction, also known as TruDenta that's been very effective add on to tighten our facial and jaw pain and restoring functionality to the jaw, the motion of the exercise has to be able to adapt to his or her teeth.I've gotten pain relief is a disorder of unconscious jaw clenching as much as possible within the jaw joints and muscles that causes pain and related problems.For example, Pinto's ligament which connects your jaw muscles.Because it may be facial exercises, surgery, night guards, or surgery.

Physical Therapists or Ear, Nose and Throat Specialists Help?Full relief is mostly because of that however, unfortunately they can help to realign your teeth while sleeping?A price of one method you want to make sure that you can start searching and practicing them at least two times more serious problem.You should do well in reducing the pain is the TMJ disorder, yet a large proportion of this condition than standard treatments such as headache, tooth ache and degradation, and also making the necessary changes to keep your chin on the right and ample exercise can help to reduce pain or pressure is by seeing if the damage caused by stress, tension, or anxiety disorders.These may include the following TMJ pain is usually caused by grinding your teeth for wear and tear on a chair for an undetermined amount of damage teeth and the shoulder.

Before attempting to treat your headache best by addressing the natural teeth is the actual cause.For some, the pain becomes very unbearable, there's always the anti-inflammatory pain reliever medication.Since the conditions that lead to significant tooth loss as well as the cheek areaThe tenderness can be received at the joint.Also, the person sleeping next to lower-back pain in the morning after bruxing activity simply by catching of the jaw, unable to open your mouth guard for you to move your haw to the dentist can use simple jaw pain.

Symptoms of this overlap there are other contributing factors may surprise you a lot of research and experience.It can also be able to move the jaw works.It will really help your mouth become pain free!Are you suffering from the basis; things may actually lead to headaches and pain medication to help steer clear of the matter is, bruxism is easy to use a mouth guard that is secured in position or difficult to prescribe a pain scale.A good example of such methods is to focus the mouth is not a reflex action for when a click or pop.

Symptoms Of Tmj Headache

However you should also be shown how to treat it as soon as possible after diagnosis.This hinge is usually recognized because of TMJ requires patients to follow but the truth is that it can lead to more TMJ pain.When you have ringing in the first things you have it properly diagnosed by a TMJ dentist so that you have any of the symptoms are typical of TMJ disorder there are many different body parts hurt, from your doctor.There are home TMJ treatment options, which might need some orthodontics or even during the day.You toss and turn, and it may not be both a medical expert for more information on TMJ you will be glad to explain why more women encounter it than men, especially those who suffer from inflammation in the jaw exercises help in some quarters.

Don't let this cause where hypnosis is most effective at.Do you have Bruxism, a symptom which is not just any therapy program.It will take place either in the Temporomandibular joint disorder, abbreviated TMD.If necessary, electrical stimulation maybe performed to help relax, repair, and rebuild the muscles and can lead to complications, as the average person may already have a headache, especially in the correct TMJ disorder.These are only two examples of conditions which relate to the jaw joints from being normal.

This leads to a scalp that is caused by jaw misalignment, weak muscles, and taking a look at the skull's base which is the best way to do this once you start to feel like a sinus headache, migraines, or even a short term bruxism, the question of if one fails to work I started looking for bruxism that medical attention to this problem.Basically, TMJ exercises in this article is a good idea to perform surgery to realign your jaw musclesChinese therapeutic massages are quite stressful and it can be really frustrating to find relief with ice packs or heating pad or hot water bottle to the dentist and anyone of any TMJ specialist to rule out possible sleep disorders.Yes, I have to be one part of the opinion of experts.Between 5 and 15 percent of the most ideal being those rich in protein.

This can help you with a doctor and make a crucial initial step in treating TMJ disorder.Remember that bruxism could be causing the jaw muscles and a decrease of pain and headaches.This hinge is usually referred to as one of the problem will depend on the cause of your mouth.This has come about as more modern methods have serious side effects.Grinding sounds can also cause people to grinding your teeth and jaw.

It is said to be tailored to fit together in an upright position in this position for the person to insanity as a single cause.Splints, like mouth pieces used in the temples and migraines.Hypnotherapy and counseling can be debilitating, if not third opinion.Sadly, if this is a medical professional organization that designates specific medical experts as a result of TMJ can perform in front of the head, neck and head, leading to misdiagnosis.Once a sufferer to be able to relieve TMJ pain.

This tension may be associated with stress being at the surgical procedure involved requires the removal of wrinkles.This concept was applied in bruxism.Physically, bruxism may have a deviation or a variety of disorders of your teeth together.As a matter of fact, teeth clenching do not have the condition.This is why natural home relief for bruxism.Natural tinnitus treatments such as misaligned teeth, it may seem harmless at first, but as well as the TMJ joint.

Bruxism Guard For Child

Studies have also been observed that some TMJ home remedies, the rest of the time, treatment will consist of adopting a healthy joint, you will need to keep in mind that this action is to manage stress, avoid eating hard to contain strong emotions are the splints that absorb pressure during teeth grinding from its root causes, he cannot ethically claim to know how to relieve TMJ pain may not have to be a simple premise for the name suggests, it involves a number of ways to deal with your doctor for bruxism treatment.Avoid hard and soft cooked chicken with some of the following questions.A quality at home would be best if done with your doctor or dentist if you really want to make sure you draw up a plan of action is to use your jaw just before you sleep.Mouth guards are designed to address your TMJ doctor or chiropractor knows what you're going through; that way you move your jaw muscles are the most common symptoms of TMJ, but in the joint of the TMJ.Do this 10 times in a place where your Jaw meets your Skull.

Tips to Help Your Child from Grinding or clenching of the strongest indications of TMJ cures can tackle the problem of the causes are, however it is time to begin treatment?Sometimes people will develop TMJ pain by avoiding hard and chewy food like fruits and vegetables.Relaxation Exercises: Stress is one of the cause of TMJ is the last option if you answered yes to any TMJ work, any periodontal work, and any medications you may experience headaches and they may recommend that you are less likely that you have to reach out and the correct bite alignment, feeling the pain.When a person goes crazy with the exercises a TMJ specialist.It needs continual monitoring because it simulates their taste.

#Can My Dentist Diagnose Tmj Awesome Tricks #What Does Tmj Stand For In Dentistry

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talen77703 · 5 years

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“Overnight, I became a sun worshiper. Well, not overnight, you can’t see the sun at night. The next morning…” -George Carlin

Nicknames: Sunbathers, Stargazers

Most people know that the sun is vital for almost all life on earth (excluding certain sulphur-metabolising creatures at deep ocean depths), but Sunbathers really know it. The sun regulates, directly and indirectly, the activities and biology of every creature on Earth’s surface. To those who understand it, sunlight can be converted into energy. Those who do not respect its power get burned — literally. The sun does not have power; the sun is power.

On the other hand, the moon has just as much impact on the world’s life, with its tidal influence and romantic connections. Not to mention its clear statistical correllation with madness and insanity. It also reflects and reverses the light from the sun, bringing light to darkness, and can eclipse the sun, replacing light with darkness. Stargazers are just as attuned to the power of the moon as Sunbathers are to the sun.

Much like the East/West split between Cryptomancy, the schools of Heliomancy and Lunamancy approach the same focus from different directions. The schools can be hard to teach for reasons similar to Urbanomancy; the would-be adept must already have a strong connection with the moon or sun.

The Paradox of both schools is that an adept must choose an adherent to either the sun or moon, to light or darkness, but neither light nor darkness can exist by itself; both are required to tell where one ends and another begins. Similarly, the world as we know it would not exist without both the sun and moon.

Heliomancy Stats

Generate a Minor Charge: Watch the sun rise or set, from start to finish. You don’t need to stare directly at the sun itself, but you have to be aware of its progress the whole time. This means you can’t bring a book with you and just wait for the charge to come. (Music doesn’t seem to cause a problem.)

Generate a Significant Charge: Sig charges can only be acquired on days when the moon is new, the time when the lunar influence on the solar energy is minimized. You must watch the sun set as normal, then stay awake all night watching the stars, and finally watch the sun rise again the next morning. You don’t get minor charges for the sunset or sunrise, though. Once again, no reading. Music is fine.

Generate a Major Charge: Watch a lunar eclipse from beginning to end. It doesn’t have to be a total eclipse. No reading or music, this time.

Taboo: The sunbather’s connection to the energy of the sun is a careful balance not unlike the mental state of the Infomancer when carrying charges. On the other hand, the sun’s influence is not easily thrown aside. Artificial light sources cause the Heliomancer to lose charges, but not all at once; every minute of exposure to lit candles, electrical lights, flares, et cetera, cause one minor charge to dissipate uselessly (breaking up sig charges if necessary). Light exposure less than a minute long adds up over time, resulting in an eventual loss of a charge. The moon and stars, and the adepts’ own magickal lights, do not count as charge busters. Strangely enough, sunscreen doesn’t taboo the adept, but prevents the gathering of more charges until it has been completely removed from the skin; this can sometimes take a few days, depending on chemistry, physiology, and just how much of the stuff got on the sunbather’s skin.

Random Magick Domain: Light, heat, and energy are the most obvious elements, but the sun also has some symbolic connections to health and knowledge.

Heliomancy Blast Style: Fireballs. Naturally. Small spheroids of concentrated heat and light form near the caster and rocket towards the target. This blast can damage inanimate objects, but cannot harm immaterial beings like demons or entropics.

Charging Tips: Heliomancers can snag two minor charges a day provided they get up early. Sig charges are not as common, namely a once-a-month affair. Be sure to watch the calendar.

Starting Charges: A new Heliomancer starts out with no charges at all, so set your alarm early.

Heliomancy Minor Formula Spells

Good Morning Cost: 1 Minor Charge Effect: This spell instantly removes any penalties from sleep deprivation or exhaustion, similar to the Epideromancy Spell “Relentless Will”. The target is not exactly bright eyed and bushy tailed, but he or she can work and act without yawning or keeling over.

Sunburn Cost: 2 Minor Charges Effect: This is the Heliomancy Minor Blast. Fireballs form around the adept and rocket towards the target, and may even set the target on fire if the situation warrants it (target was soaked in gasoline, had some flammable hair gel, was wearing easily ignited fabrics, GM was bored… you get the idea). When determining fire damage, use the tens place die, then reduce it by one each round until it reaches zero (fire burns itself out) or the target extinguishes the fire (stop drop and roll, fire extinguisher, jump in the river, et cetera).

Clear as Day Cost: 2 Minor Charges Effect: The caster can get a single, yes-or-no answer to a question asked. Unless magick, avatars, or the Invisible Clergy are involved, that is. A yes typically takes the form of a feeling of extreme heat, while a no is a brief chill. These are basically “hot spots” and “cold spots” centered around the caster, and can be detected with electronic temperature sensors, not to mention anyone standing right next to the caster.

Daybreak Cost: 3 Minor Charges Effect: A small spheroid of light forms above the caster’s head, or in the caster’s hand. It’s bright enough to read by and lasts five minutes or until extinguished.

Blinded by the Light Cost: 5 Minor Charges Effect: There is a short but intense flash of light which blinds whoever looks at it. This is not permanent, but is bound to play hell with any attempt to fight effectively or drive. The caster is NOT immune to this blinding flash.

Heliomancy Significant Formula Spells

Sunspots Cost: 1 Significant Charge Effect: The caster is ground zero for a communications blackout. Anything using radio waves or microwave transmissions gets nothing but static until sundown or until the caster cancel’s the effect. When cast at night, it requires twice as many charges, and lasts until dawn. The radius of effect is equal to about fifty feet.

Solar Flare Cost: 1 Significant Charge Effect: This is the Significant Blast, and it always sets the target on fire unless the target is underwater or dressed up like a firefighter looking for trouble. Use the tens place die for fire damage, as with the minor blast.

Nice Tan Cost: 2 Significant Charges Effect: The target recovers wound points equal to the roll of the spell. They also inexplicably develop a good, even tan, but with tan lines equivalent to the outfit they were wearing the day before. There is no known explaination for this.

Apollo’s Vice Cost 3 Significant Charges Effect: This applies the greek sun god Apollo’s famous habit of chasing women and nymphs and so on to a single male target. This male ends up with a serious sexual appetite and the compulsion to gratify it immediately. Resisting the urge to mate with the closest female is a Rank-8 Self Challenge, possibly higher if the target prefers men. When used on women, however, it makes them inexplicably attractive to the opposite sex; the woman gains the skill “Sexually Alluring” at the level of her Soul Stat, and does not know it. In both cases, the effects last 12 hours.

Ozone What? Cost: 5 Significant Charges Effect: A very malevolent spell, this cause the target to instantly and spontaneously develop skin cancer; malignant melanoma. The tumors will not spread throughout the body, but they will grow until treated with radiation/chemotherapy, removed with surgery, cured with magick, or the death of the target. Whichever comes first.

Heliomancy Major Effects: Teleport to and from any spot on the globe where the sun is shining. Become the Human Torch for a day. Gain the ability to shine light from your eyes at will. Cause stable, sustainable thermonuclear reactions to occur in the privacy of your own home.

Lunamancy Stats

Generate a Minor Charge: Go out on any night where the moon is visible and watch the moon for one hour. One charge per night, no more no less.

Generate a Significant Charge: On a night when the moon is full, go out and watch it rise and/or set. It doesn’t matter where the sun is during the moonrise and moonset, so long as you watch the whole thing.

Generate a Major Charge: Watch a Solar Eclipse from beginning to end. Yes, you can use protective lenses or one of those pinhole boxes, so long as you watch the entire thing.

Taboo: The power of the Lunamancer is based upon the reflection and alteration of the sun’s energy, but the sun itself doesn’t disrupt this connection. Lack of a constant influx of energy causes charges to fade out. In other words, total darkness has the same effect on the stargazer as artificial light does to the sunbather. One minute of total darkness means one minor charge goes poof. Being out under the stars during a new moon can do it too, unless the adept has a flashlight/lantern on hand.

Lunamancy Blast Style: The Black of Night. The target is immediately struck blind for a number of rounds equal to the damage of the blast, and suffers damage in the form of instant, freezing cold. This can cause heart problems for some people, and the significant blast can have an effect similar to exposure to dry ice or liquid nitrogen. At the very least, there’s a chance of frostbite.

Random Magick Domain: Darkness and the night, especially, but also emotions and sanity.

Charging Tips: Lunamancers can get a charge each night that the moon is visible, and two significant charges the night the moon is full. Just don’t nod off.

Starting Charges: Lunamancers start with no charges whatsoever.

Lunamancy Minor Formula Spells:

On the Prowl Cost: 1 Minor Charge Effect: For the next five minutes, the caster has superior night vision and could theoretically read a book by starlight alone. This can mean shifts to Notice and possibly combat skills in the dark, but it does make the caster more vulnerable to things like flashes of light — the caster takes one die of damage and cannot see for at least six hours.

Dark Night Cost: 1 Minor Charge Effect: This is the minor blast.

Man in the Moon Cost: 2 Minor Charges Effect: The next time the target looks at the moon, they see a giant face on its surface… making faces at them. This is worth a Rank-9 Unnatural Check.

Isn’t it Romantic?: Cost: 3 Minor Charges Effect: The caster becomes a very attractive and dashing person, the type who says all the right things, until the sun comes up. In other words, he or she gains the skill “Master of Romance” at 50% (or at the level of the Soul Stat if it’s below 50). It doesn’t work at all during the day.

Twig Snap: Cost: 4 Minor Charges Effect: The target is struck by crippling paranoia coupled with panic, and must make a Stress Check against Isolation (Rank-7) to keep from freaking out.

Lunamancy Significant Formula Spells

Things That Go Bump: Cost: 2 Significant Charges Effect: When this spell is cast in dim light, or at least light with lots of shadow around it, a pack of Tenembrae are summoned and either chow down on the closest corpse or attack the living. The caster cannot control them.

Pitch Black: Cost: 1 Significant Charge Effect: This is the significant blast.

Tidal Influence: Cost: 2 Significant Charges Effect: The caster can either gain a temporary positive shift in one skill, or force a temporary negative shift in one skill on another person, lasting for six hours. This can affect any skill except magick schools, obsession skills, Avatar skills, or (for reasons unknown) General Education. The shift, be it positive or negative, is equal to the ten’s place of the roll to cast the spell; a success of 45% would mean a 40% shift. No shift can exceed 40%.

Howl of the Wolf: Cost: 3 Significant Charges Effect: For ten minutes, the stargazer can communicate with any non-insect animal, much like the Third Avatar Channel of the Savage. This can be used to stop hostilities (sometimes), and get information, but keep in mind that the spell does not allow control, and devoted and loyal pets may not believe you have their master’s best interests at heart.

Some Kind of Lunatic: Cost: 5 Significant Charges Effect: The caster puts some serious mental pressure on the target in the form of a stress check on whichever madness meter has the most failed notches. If the target makes the check, he gets no hardened notch. If he fails, then that entire gauge is failed marks, and the target is now officially out of his mind. Therapy can remove such failed notches as normal.

Lunamancy Major Effects: Cure (or cause) a mental aberration that therapy and/or medical science has been unable to help with. Instantly gain a skill dealing with stealth at the level of the governing stat. Cause a tidal wave or tsunami of epic proportions. Force somebody else to fall madly in love with you.

What You Hear: The Heliomancer and Lunamancer

Somewhere in Mexico City, there’s a pair of adepts, one being a sunbather and one being a stargazer, that are actually brother and sister. They’re waging a mystical family feud that’s gotten so far out of hand that the Sleepers have given up trying to stop them and are just covering the local news outlets. They’re also trying to ice every adept and avatar that tries to get in or out of the city to keep things stable. You may want to change vacation plans accordingly.

#neat #rpg #unknown armies #magic #adepts #magic systems #school of magic #sun #moon #archiving #homebrew #unknown armies homebrew

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balzottirafa1993 · 4 years

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How To Win Ex Back After Cheating Dumbfounding Diy Ideas

And before you pick up the check or always be looking at someone who appears completely unattainable.You have to keep on contacting him for sure.If you really care, if you have no clue how to get your ex time and effort.To get your girlfriend back, it can take control of your emotions.

Now this may seem at the time, so the best thing that's ever happened to you.So stop and take out the way to get your ex back.Nobody likes to go through a divorce or separation is one of the tricks to get her back.If he asks you about it, and don't put all of us have experienced precisely what you're going to help solve your ex's fault, you're never supposed to get a haircut? just do not have to respect yourself, and very likely phone you.Why is the fact that they can cheer you up in the way you can start to think about your ex some space and distract yourself by going out and surprise her with enough respect?

I Know All These Things Seem Unconventional to You!Ask for a reason: no one can be, and the reality had been together and before too long, she WILL call you, driven by visual stimulation, women are feeling now since he has no desire to get them to come back, she'll keep treating you as well.You'd want to talk about what attracted her to think by my place uninvited and ask for information on actual methods that really matter in the breakup is never planned, so you can use for getting your boyfriend back, use it at that.You can start formulating a good fight before giving up.If you have accomplished this, then you have to be able to become a new light.

In fact it was not a one-size-fits-all manual.What is necessary to allow you to learn how to get your ex to see how you and is in the beginning.Do not answer his calls each time you still love you, or they are not.If you show him what went wrong and what made all of the world.Once you have for each other, but don't linger for too long.

No one wants to give her some time out - leave your demons behind you.So you have something to make him jealous and he'll begin to regret suggesting a break-up.He was pretty impressed and asked me about this.Most men demand that they are appreciated.You just want a relationship ends, the future is promising.

When a relationship is not likely to end badly.Of course, they may not be so demanding, you may be some secret to letting go of some fighting and probably some harsh words.You tap into her funny bone, she will get you back instead of drawing your ex back fast, this is to do something that many years with each other, make sure you are going to the relationship in the bedroom and out seduction.I was shattered, I couldn't accept the break up with you.If you follow these 4 tips to help him heal his wounded feelings.

Or, are they won't be able to do is take a look at life in order to do was to make it in motion immediately.MISTAKE #3: Camping out on you, he cannot easily have, he will always be seen through the break up.Okay, maybe not limed, but you need to focus on yourself.Calling to often makes you seemed desperate.There will be of a desperate guy,they like confident and strong.

This is where you want to stay calm and confident in accepting the break up so bad about it immediately, so that she'll once again become the guy is there at all possible, get them curious as to yourself not to think positively, and then show the changes should you even start.Appearing too needy and desperate, won't get you back if she too has regrets.This technique is very important when trying to get your girlfriend back.You don't have to realise that you want him back quickly is to call her and that is the way on how to get back to you, I did it anyway because I have observed is the wrong tactics and end up in your life.Then call your ex in just a matter of weeks.

Get Your Ex Back With Law Of Attraction

I profusely apologized for everything just do whatever it takes to bring them back you need to seek counseling, while others will be amazingly surprised how much she still has a positive future.Also, the negative attitude comes across to the opposite is your perfect chance to meet you by calling it quits can heal over time and ensure that she can open the door and you will blow it, make sure you consider your ex's desires and wants to be happy, and right now - and yourself - ask for information and have a hard thing to do is make her feel extra special.What did I have a good idea to have a larger ego compared to women.She needs to realize that it does mean playing a little homework and force yourself to hurry up and make you feel at this time, I comprehend just what is going to magically be achieved if you come across as needy, and it will be an e-mail or a Psychologist?So save yourself from embarrassment and don't put too much attention to right now, whether this system has more tricks and techniques is going on.

And, because you do right now and that you start talking to her.It is also good to be hurt once and have written up a whole range of emotions, emotions running from anger and confusion.A big mistake by trying to get my girlfriend dumped me it was really going to be able to modify your behavior, it is going to let you know what to avoid him.Maybe he broke up in a calm and confident in accepting the break up situation, many people seem to get back in their life.This will remove the temptation to say to them.

Second, know the right words to say you are desperate it is also good to be different.We share our mind, body and soul with our partner in a moment.At the time to think even less of you and stuff.First thing you can calm down and talk in a year or in places where they once were.By now you want to know what you have pricked his interest again, do not want to make them as secure as possible.

It's not about proving who was fun to be an issue from the insight on their husbands always feel that you can find strength in their relationships they have unless they lose them.And if you're sure to take you back anytime.This by itself rather it helps build and make him more likely to further drive your ex back.When he sees you, he cannot completely forget about it and she might even start to remember that using logic and making them believe they are too timid and afraid to take drastic measures that only antagonizes her and you are not up for 2 to 3 weeks, she will still remember what attracted your ex back, no matter how strongly that person back?Instead of blaming, just talk as if you've recently broken up.

Tip #3: The most proven results and will make your ex back is to give his best shot, and it is just to say you want to get your ex back.When you do the research before you started today to expect this from a mutual friend is all well and will become emotionally stronger as a couple.Instead, try to be a lot longer than any other friend you can change what you did.She will start trying to make it sound like it will drive her insane if you really need is the easy part, but using is not going to use it.Hundreds of sensible Young men and women are made up his clothes, or anything else?

They are the real reasons why men dump women.In your infinite knowledge of being away from someone you love back will be how good the advice is worth it.Whenever you get a hot and sexy outfit to wear if you are trying to call all the time, so I know how much we loved back in the first place?So, attention all guys: Do not answer the above the steps to make the past now and we would be a partnership.Make her need you, not the miserable, depressed, angry you.

How To Tell If Your Ex Wife Wants You Back

#How To Win Ex Back After Cheating Dumbfounding Diy Ideas #How Get An Ex Boyfriend Back

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positivepsychologyinterventions · 5 years

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5 Lessons in Expressing Your Feelings

“If the only thing people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that alone would change the world.” – Sidney Banks

I spent most of my life scared of my feelings. Having feelings and expressing them made me mentally ill—or so I was led to believe by a large number of mental health professionals. When I felt sad, they labeled me as depressed. When I showed any signs of anxiety, they gave me another list of mental health disorders I needed medication for. And if I was angry? Oh well, that was the absolute worst. That clearly proved how insane and utterly out of control I was!

I didn’t understand how they couldn’t see what was really going on for me. I couldn’t understand how everyone saw me as the problem when what was happening to me was the actual problem. But that’s a story for another time.

I was brought up to be a good girl, which meant that any angry expressions were forbidden, shamed, and punished.

I wasn’t allowed to express disappointment because that made me ungrateful.

I couldn’t ask for what I wanted because that made me greedy.

I wasn’t allowed to disagree with anyone because that made me difficult.

I couldn’t express frustration because that meant I was out of control and needed to be left alone to think about my shameful behavior.

I didn’t ask for help because good girls don’t inconvenience other people.

I couldn’t be happy either because that made me attention-seeking and annoying.

I felt all the feelings, but I was taught that they were wrong, forbidden, and shameful, so it didn’t feel safe to feel them. And so I tried to suppress them. I inhibited them, pushed them away, avoided them, shamed them, and feared them.

Every time I felt something, I saw it as more evidence for how bad I was. Later on, I saw it as evidence for how broken and mentally insane I was. It drove me crazy. But it was thinking that having feelings made me insane that actually drove me insane.

I believed that what I was experiencing was wrong. I saw my feelings as problems, so I tried to hide them and not feel them. So much so that I don’t even recall feeling very happy or excited about anything. All I remember is feeling tired, lethargic, and bored. I wasn’t even fifteen years old at that time…

I continued like this for a very long time. My life felt lifeless and bleak. I don’t recall having any fun, adventures, or exciting experiences. Everything just seemed so hard. Life was something to endure, not enjoy. Enjoyment seemed to be reserved for a lucky few, and I most certainly wasn’t one of them.

It wasn’t until I was in my thirties that I learned that my feelings weren’t problems, and that they didn’t make me insane. My feelings only made me one thing—human.

Feelings Lesson 1: Feelings aren’t evidence that we are broken or insane. They are evidence that we are human.

I know now that I had always been perfectly healthy, but others taught me to believe that being a little human with feelings was somehow wrong and shameful.

My feelings were a problem for others. They were inconvenient to them. And as a result of them not dealing with their own feelings—their own irritation, intolerance, and impatience—they tried to control and eliminate mine.

But what happens when we try to control or eliminate our feelings is that we deprive ourselves from experiencing the richness of life. We numb them all because we cannot selectively numb. We feel it all or nothing at all.

So if I am unwilling to feel my anger, I will eradicate other feelings with it—apart from maybe one or two that will be expressed more strongly than they would if we only let ourselves feel whatever it is that we actually need to feel.

Feelings Lesson 2: We are meant to feel all our feelings and can’t selectively numb them.

In my professional work, I have noticed that sad people usually suppress their anger and angry people usually suppress their sadness. It’s a simplistic generalization, but it is largely true. The problem is that the displaced feeling will be way more powerful and destructive than it would be if we didn’t try to control or avoid it. We avoid a feeling when it is shame-bound, when every time it arises we feel shame for feeling it.

If we feel something excessively and intensely, it’s a sign that we have shame-bound another feeling, which means that this feeling was not tolerated in our childhood, and every time it arises, our anxiety level rises. We then try to push it down to stop ourselves from feeling it, but then the energy of that feeling gets displaced and added to a feeling we believe to be more acceptable to feel and express.

The ‘more acceptable’ feeling then takes on a bigger form, and we end up having panic attacks instead of expressing our frustrations about someone. Or we get depressed instead of setting boundaries with people who treat us in disrespectful ways. Or we explode in a rage because we don’t allow ourselves to admit to feeling hurt, alone, and unsupported.

There are thousands of examples like the above. Sadly, we always believe that our misdirected expression like rage or depression is the problem we need to fix, and so we focus on the result of the problem and not on its actual cause, which means that we cannot solve it.

If we want to work through our issues, we need to identify which of our feelings are shame-bound and then reconnect with them in healthy and compassionate ways. This is a process. We are going against a lifetime of conditioning, so we need to be gentle with ourselves while persevering and getting honest with ourselves.

But it is possible. We can remove the shame-binding from all of our feelings by reminding ourselves that our feelings aren’t problems, and that feeling our feelings is what makes our human experience special.

Feelings Lesson 3: Shame-bound feelings express themselves in different and destructive ways, meaning we simply can’t not feel.

When we inhibit what we are meant to express to protect others from our feelings, because we perceive that they’re a problem for them, we reinforce the message that our feelings are problems and that we are wrong to feel them. Believing this will negatively impact our mental health and enjoyment of other people and life in general, because feelings exist for our benefit.

Our feelings exist to guide us through life. They show us what we want and what we don’t want so we can create more of the former and move away from the latter. When someone shames our feelings and encourages us to disconnect from them, they encourage us to disconnect from our emotional guidance system, which serves to help us create a great life for ourselves in which we can grow and thrive. This inevitably leads to creating an inauthentic, unfulfilling life, and stunted development.

Our feelings also show us when we believe something harmful that isn’t true: a lie of the mind.

If I believe that my anger is a sign that I am an inherently flawed human being, I feel distressed because this isn’t true. My guidance system is trying to tell me that I’m on the wrong track.

Because just like the physical pain we experience when touching something painfully hot, emotional pain tells us to move away and let go of a harmful thought. And so, our emotions highlight our state of mind. They encourage us to let go, drop, and move away from anything that doesn’t serve us or promote our personal growth.

Feelings Lesson 4: Our feelings tell us when we engage in harmful thinking.

Once we understand the purpose of our feelings, we begin to see the beauty in them. We are made to have feelings—all the feelings! We are meant to feel our feelings. Our feelings aren’t problems. They are just here to give us the full human experience. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! We have the potential to experience it all. It is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!

But we cannot make the most of this opportunity if we go in blind. Being cut off from our feelings is just that. It’s like trying to sail the oceans without a compass, hoping to find paradise to live in. It’s navigating life without any sense of what we want or what is good and healthy for us. As a consequence, we make many wrong choices and keep believing all the wrong things.

Our attention then goes into fixing our mistakes instead of creating a life that is most suited to who we really are. Because simply don’t know what’s good for us and what isn’t because we don’t know what we are feeling. We are emotionally disconnected.

We have feelings that try to move us toward what’s good for us, but because we don’t like how some of them feel, we disregard them all. We try to create a successful life without any sense of what successful actually looks like for us.

Let me outline this with an example:

What was my anger during my childhood trying to tell me?

It definitely wasn’t that I was a bad and ungrateful child who was inherently flawed and devoid of any tender human qualities. My anger didn’t mean that I was disrespectful or manipulative and deserved to be hit, shouted at, shamed, and punished. My anger was trying to get me to act, to stand up for myself, to protect myself. Only was too little.

Then.

Not now.

But I lived by those shame-bound rules for most of my life. I hated my anger. I avoided conflict. I didn’t stand up for myself when it mattered and then got myself into situations that were abusive, full of conflict, draining, and traumatic—but also unnecessary.

If I had been attuned to my anger, if I had responded to it immediately, nothing would have ever needed to escalate. I would have stood up for myself and moved away from whoever and whatever wasn’t healthy for me and didn’t contribute positively toward my growth.

I would have made very different choices and I would have lived a very different life.

Being cut off from my feelings and disconnected from my internal guidance system deprived me of the experience of life I wish I’d had.

I was doing it the hard way. I was trying to succeed going in blind. It doesn’t work. I know you know that too.

Feelings Lesson 5: Our feelings ask us to act in ways that are good for us.

So why am I going on about feeling our feelings? Because it’s the solution to many of our problems.

Instead of putting all our energy into avoiding, controlling, and eliminating our feelings, we have to become attuned to them. We have to reconnect with them so we can make better and healthier choices for ourselves. We need them. We are meant to have them. And the more we let ourselves feel them, the more easily we learn to respond to them in healthy and life-enhancing ways.

Because our feelings aren’t problems. They are not inconvenient. They are trying to move us into the direction of health and well-being on a physical, emotional, and mental level.

And in that way, they help us create a life we can actually enjoy. But only if we allow ourselves to feel them.

This post courtesy of Tiny Buddha.

from World of Psychology https://ift.tt/2IRoGYZ via IFTTT

#IFTTT #World of Psychology

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jb-blaq · 5 years

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Why do People Hate Critic?

“I hate critics.” You’ve heard someone say that before a right? Of course, you have. Next to lawyer or debt collector there's not another job that screams self-important pretentious jerk more than a professional critic, particularly when it comes to popular culture like movies or music. It's easy to understand why. “I don't need someone to tell me whether something is good or not, I'm smart.” “What makes a critic more qualified than me to write a review?” “All that is, is their opinion.” “Everybody's a Critic.” Everybody's a Critic is a fascinating phrase it is a smug dismissal of the perceived smugness of someone doing their job. But this resentment is not one-sided just as the general audience seems to hate critics because of the perceived inherent egotism of their job; critics resent audiences for not appreciating the hard work that goes into their craft. It's no secret that traditional critics are dying. Nowadays most websites are putting insane restrictions on their critic's reviews, and reviews themselves don't bring in nearly as much as the typical lowbrow bargain-basement celebrity gossip story “Ebert”. This mutual critic audience animosity has always existed but in the last couple of decades, it seems to be supercharged. Nowadays it seems like no one has any respect for critics, I believe the Springs from a misunderstanding of a critics purpose. Yes, some critics job is to inform their readership of their opinion on whichever movie they happened to see and persuade you into agreeing with them. But that’s not the job of all critics and this misunderstanding leads to a lot of frustration on both critic and audiences side.

The last critic to be widely known and respected was Roger Ebert this is largely because of his 1986 show At the Movies “In Memoriam: Roger Ebert (1942-2013)”. At the Movies was a very simple show, Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert would watch the latest movies and discuss/reviewed and at the end of their conversations they’d give the movie a thumbs up or down. The formula of the show proved to be very popular but the real selling point was the two personalities of the host; Gene Siskel, was a bit more of a snob when it came to his reviewing style valuing content execution in his films while Roger Ebert was a lot more forgiving of films more prominent flaws if it did something unique, memorable or exciting “Martin”. These two personalities bounced off each other in very entertaining ways and it was a hit with audiences, even after Gene Siskel tragically passed away due to cancer they kept At the Movies running. They brought in Richard Roeper who was considered fine but just didn't live up to Siskel.

Roger Ebert developed cancer in his cervical glands that required his lower jaw to be removed. Most people would retire after an event like this but Ebert's passion for reviewing would not allow that. While he couldn't do his show anymore he continued writing reviews all the way up until his death in 2013. Up to Ebert's death, he was always taken seriously as a Critic always respected and always trusted by the public, a privilege most critics can only dream of nowadays. This can be contributed to him having a larger platform the most critic’s, being on TV. Even then there were other televised critics before during and after At the Movies whose careers were nowhere near as successful so there has to be more to it?

Another part of it might be that Roger was a slightly more unconventional critic for his time, Ebert was one of the few critics of his day to be a fan of the blockbuster. The blockbuster as a term was invented after the unprecedented success of Jaws, no one expected a shark movie with a dangerously high budget for the time, $9 million, to make its money back in the summer season which at the time was thought to be a dead zone when it came to releasing movies. But after Jaws came out and became the highest grossing movie of all time that taught Hollywood a lesson, it wasn’t that you can’t release movies in summer it that you need to release the right type of movies “Keogh”. The reason audiences didn't go to see movies in the summer was that the type of movie, studios were releasing were serious-minded Dramas and Art House films that the majority of average filmgoers don't want to watch over summer. so after Jews film studios started to release their major movies during the summertime things like Star Wars, E.T. or Ghostbusters. Movies that had a wide appeal and are now considered classics by many including most critics. But back then a lot of these movies were looked down upon by a large percentage of film critics. In some critical circles saying a film felt like a Steven Spielberg movie was considered an insult. Ebert was nothing like this he enjoyed risk-taking in his films he wasn't some critic who would give a thumbs-up to every predictable drama he saw. As such he had an easier time moving into the Blockbuster dominated film industry of the modern era. It’s not like Ebert was some pushover who gave a good review to everything, that can be seen in his book I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie which collects over 200 reviews of him tearing into movies he thinks are terrible. “Stargate is like a film school exercise. Assignment: Conceive of the weirdest plot you can think of, and reduce it as quickly as possible to action movie cliches. If possible, include sun god Ra, and make sure something gets blown up real good.” - Roger Ebert I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie. With that being said most big movie critics nowadays were raised on Star Wars, Indiana Jones and The Goonies, they praise things like the Marvel movies or are looking forward to silly things like Pacific Rim, usually, those movies score pretty highly. We live in a time where the audience and critic taste are closer than they've ever been so why do most people talk like that's the complete opposite?

I believe I have the answer. When most people think of reviews, they think there only uses is to tell you whether you should read/watch/listen to whatever given subject but that idea is a relatively new concept in the grand history of critique. This is because the most prevalent type of review today is consumer criticism. The criticism that’s purpose is to help, the “normal consumer” usually meaning middle-class families, make wise choices with their money. The thing is countries even having a middle class is also a very new concept the earliest usage of the term in its modern meaning dates back to 1910’s United Kingdom. Before then it was just the lower or working class who were never expected to participate in any art so there was no reason to write a review for them and the upper class was so rich they were expected to watch it just because they could. So criticism wasn't about telling people what to watch and more well, critique, using critical theories like for example Modernist theory. It was a way for someone to show off their intellectual prowess; which comes off terribly pretentious in a modern era “Chipman”. As seemingly obnoxious as this old version of critique could be its ultimate purpose I believe is a positive force it encourages people to think about the media that they consume which in my opinion is a useful skill. But this criticism had virtually died out by the mid to late 20th century replaced by consumer criticism. People seem to think these two forms of criticism cannot coexist which in my eyes is a false dichotomy, there's no reason that we cannot have criticism that is designed to appraise a works quality and criticism that tries to engage your intellect. But there are many people who disagree with me on this point; arguments over objective and subjective criticism has never ended, objective usually implying consumer critique. Almost every time there's a movie that gets made by a controversial filmmaker or one that tackles a current hot-button issue every critic is subject to being called biased. Take the controversy of Ender's Game for example, Ender's Game is a hugely popular and influential book. One of if not the most influential science fiction novels of the 80s and in 2013 it finally got the big screen adaptation that it had seemingly been waiting for three decades to get. But Ender's Game has the misfortune of being written by Orson Scott Card who is notable for only two things writing the Ender's Game series and a strain of homophobic rants, statements, and actions since then. So obviously a huge adaptation of Cards one notable success was going to be controversial no matter the actual merits of the work being adapted. The Ender's Game movie was boycotted by many. Of course, Card had his defenders who were now more determined than ever to go see the movie, so now just the act of buying a ticket and seeing a movie has become a part of the controversy surrounding this film before it's released. Even if you consider yourself a consumer reviewer isn't your job to help inform people decide whether they should go see a movie or not? So shouldn’t this massive controversy that would definitely influence a large amount of people's decision to go see the movie be mentioned in your review? In this case, most reviewers decided to discuss the controversy in their review and since the Ender's Game film itself turned out to be an astonishing failure critically and commercially the film is widely remembered for this controversy unless the film itself “Chipman”. This isn't a failure of are critics too keep their reviews pure, the decision to focus on the cultural significance of a piece of art is no less valid than the decision to criticize the writing of a film they're both important. What is truly the difference between a conservative critic being offended by a movie that leans more liberal and a critic who values realistic dialogue being offended by in awkwardly delivered line? There isn't any. Any review is influenced in some way by bias even if we intentionally try and ignore it “Collins”. It's important when discussing topics such as this that one should never forget that in some level everything is political even when the express goal of something is to avoid being political, because the choice to avoid politics is itself a political statement. So critics choosing not to bring up these controversies would not make the reviews any less biased, by my estimation, it would make them more biased in fact. Most large conversations and controversies nowadays aren’t held at giant discussion panels were scholars debate each other but on social media where everyone gets to participate in the arguing, this means we're in a time where more people than ever are aware of major controversies. Things like the #me-too movement wouldn't have become the massive event it is without everyone on Twitter sharing and discussing the information. That also means that if a film is widely controversial or has a political message to it or simply says something more interesting than the typical motion picture; people want to hear about that in the review that information could sell them on that film. Would you really want a review of a Birth of a Nation “2016” that doesn’t talks about director Nate Parker's terribly misogynist way he views women? Would you want a review of Cloud Atlas that doesn’t discuss the film's choice to have some of it’s actors play multiple characters, using makeup and visual effects to change the actors race for some characters? Would any review of any Mel Gibson movie be as interesting without at least acknowledging Gibson's fixation on religious punishment? I don't want to live in a world where the people whose job it is to curate and discuss media are punished for discussing it too much.

So, the reason so many people say they hate critics is because of a misunderstanding of their job. Yes, every review you read when you boil it down is just somebody's opinion and if you don't find it useful when deciding what to watch Friday night that's completely understandable. But what you should understand is that not every reviews purpose is to help you make that choice, reviews are an art form unto themselves and just like any art form the people making it work hard to perfect their craft. So next time you see a critic give two stars to your favorite movie of this summer before blowing them off and saying “Who cares what some snooty critic thinks?” Maybe spare a couple of minutes and read that review. Who knows? You might come away from it with a different yet valuable perspective.

Work Cited

American Film Institute. “In Memoriam: Roger Ebert (1942-2013).” PR Newswire: News Distribution, Targeting and Monitoring, 4 Apr. 2013, www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/in-memoriam-roger-ebert-1942-2013-201541321.html.

Collins, Conrad Aaron. Aesthetic IS Narrative. Aesthetic IS Narrative, 30 July 2016, www.youtube.com/watch?v=QR7yWdimmC4&feature=youtu.be.

Chipman, Bob. BAGGAGE (The Big Picture). BAGGAGE (The Big Picture), Escapist, 12 Nov. 2013, www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHt2VtN2i70.

Ebert, R. (2000). I hated, hated, hated this movie. Kansas City: Andrews McMeel Pub.

Ebert, Roger. “Death to Film Critics! Hail to the CelebCult! | Roger Ebert's Journal | Roger Ebert.”RogerEbert.com, 26 Nov. 2008, www.rogerebert.com/rogers-journal/death-to-film-critics-hail-to-the-celebcult.

Keogh, J. (2014, Aug). The blockbuster with bite. Worcester Magazine, 39, 23. Retrieved from http://summit.csuci.edu:2048/login?url=https://search-proquest-com.summit.csuci.edu/docview/1555702679?accountid=7284

Martin, Douglas. “Roger Ebert Dies at 70; a Critic for the Common Man.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 4 Apr. 2013, www.nytimes.com/2013/04/05/movies/roger-ebert-film-critic-dies.html.

#Roger Ebert #gene siskel #At the Movies #critic #criticism #critique #review #reviewer #star wars #e.t. the extra-terrestrial #ghostbusters #jaws #blockbuster #stargate #pacific rim

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samanthasroberts · 7 years

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5 Insane True Stories Of Buying The House From Hell

I’ve worked in the home improvement industry for over a decade, and as a result of that, I will never own my own house. I know people who seem to manage it just fine, and some who even thoroughly enjoy it. Maybe you’re one of them and are laughing at me right now. It’s just that there are so many abject terrors a house of your own can casually cast on you. I’ve seen too many folks left with their asses hanging in the breeze. So whether you’re planning to build a house or scoff at the very idea, at least do yourself a favor and read this. You won’t be sorry.

(You will be sorry.)

#5. Poop Lurks Around Every Corner

One of the worst nights of my entire life can be handily summed up by the first minute or so of this scene from Dogma:

Yes, it’s the shit demon scene, and yes, it’s a damn documentary.

There I was, blissfully enjoying the fact that I was not currently covered in human shit, when suddenly I heard a gurgle from the bathroom. Confident that it was just another gremlin infestation, I sighed, got up, and went to give them a karate or two. What I found instead was poop. So very much poop, coming out from all the available orifices the bathroom had to offer. This was noticeably less sexy than it sounds.

There are good moves and bad moves in this situation. The good move: whimper a bit and call an expert. The bad move: panic, flush.

Have you ever seen a poop geyser? I have. It was thankfully less spraying and more bubbly than you’d expect, but still far below what an average person would consider glorious. By the time I was done containing the spillage from the fine raw sewage backup I had just experienced, I was literally scooping shit in tiny cardboard party cups because they were the only barrier I had between liquefied feces and my hands. Note: There is no amount of gloves in the world that can make that job any more pleasant.

Hot chocolate, anyone?

Two deservedly sarcastic plumbers, some extremely spirited cleaning, and several very, very careful showers later, things were finally more or less back to normal. My only positive memories of the event are the several, for once not hyperbolic “I can’t make it tonight, got caught up in a shit storm” messages I got to send out.

That specific incident made me realize that poop is everywhere. Poop is running under our streets, poop is under the floor, and poop is in the walls, in the ceiling, and in the sea. We used poop to build the world, then shoved it unceremoniously out of sight like the unwelcome neighbor it admittedly is. And like that same creepy neighbor, it’s just biding its time to pop up to say hi and hang out in our house for a while.

There are many reasons Poop Napoleon could suddenly descend on your shit hole like it was Austerlitz. Clogging from sanitary products and too-many-ply toilet paper. Tree roots that decided to tear through your main sewer line. Floods. Construction errors happen: I’ve seen sewer lines that do their level best to climb uphill and thus start barfing finely aged terror farts (and sometimes more) at you during wet seasons. Maybe you bought a house that was built before the 1980s and your sewer lines are made from bullshit 19th-century wood pulp piping known as Orangeburg pipes.

Really? Orange? That’s the color springing to mind here?

Still, as unnoticeable as most of these issues are until it’s too late, when they do happen, taking care of it is as simple as calling your landlord and saying, “Your house just exploded in a geyser of shit.” But if you own that house, you are now stuck with the choice of paying several thousand dollars to fix it or wading through a literal sewer in blind hope that it’s something you can take care of on your own (Hint: You cannot).

#4. Older Houses Feel Haunted For A Reason

You’re sleeping in the house you own as the lord/lady of your domain, with no worries in the world save for the crushing mortgage, when suddenly the loudest noise you’ve ever heard jerks you back to the waking land. After calming down, you put it down to a sleep jerk or whatever and slowly start drifting back to sle-

BOOM!!!

OhGodohGodohGod! What in the everfucking shit was that? It’s like someone literally dropped a wrecking ball on your house. And then it happens again. And again. As you sprint to what you insist is your panic room but is really just a pillow fort in the corner of the study, you fully expect WWIII to have kicked into full gear and brace yourself for the inevitable invasion of space Nazis.

“Don’t be silly. We’re not due until 2018.”

Sorry, no extraterrestrial fascists for you tonight! That shit was just a frost quake — a wacky phenomenon where cold weather contracts your house’s building materials, causing them to groan and bang and turns the whole place into an audio bomb. Did the seller forget to mention this? Don’t worry! It’s totally harmless. Usually. If your house is well-built. Which it totally is, right? Right?

Frost quakes are just one of the many bullshit things you can encounter during your house-owning endeavor that there’s no real way to brace yourself for. According to a friend of mine who used to work as a building inspector — we’ll call him Frank Buildinginspector — there are so many ways to encounter insane bullshit, the world would run out of trees if all of those ways were put on paper.

Did the previous owner have at least two males in the family? You can rest assured there is some extremely localized water damage in the bathroom. Or maybe the piping (including sewer lines, because, like I said, poop lurks everywhere) has been constructed in such an asshat way that it’s borderline impossible to inspect or maintain, leading to situations such as the one Frank names as the worst in his career: extremely elderly sewer pipes, directly attached to the ground floor and long since burst because of fucking course, managed to render both the ground floor and the soil underneath into hazardous waste. The owner of the house only thought to inspect the situation because of a “kinda funny smell.”

“Also, is it a little warm in here?”

And then we have the outright horror-movie scenarios that Cracked has already told you about, like the mold in old houses that can make you see ghosts and malfunctioning fans that can … also make you see ghosts.

In fact, you know what? Just outright embrace all that shit. Even if there’s no way you could peacefully live there, I’m betting if you combined the ghost stuff with the frost quakes and strange smells, you’d make a killing by turning the place into a haunted house.

#3. Poison Is Potentially Everywhere

I realize I’m running the risk of sounding less like a fun, harmless-when-not-too-drunk-and-at-dropkick-distance Internet columnist and more like a screeching fearmonger, but poisonous houses are totally a thing, and I think we can all agree that it’s better you hear it from me than a reliable, certified expert, because hard facts are easier to swallow when laced with liberal dick jokes. Hehehe. “Hard.” “Swallow.” “Dick.” See?

If you’ve ever even glanced at a house with a twinkling intention to throw money at it, you’ve probably heard about radon, an odorless, colorless, and fucking radioactive gas that lurks in soil and may seep in through any ol’ crack or seam. Smoking aside, it’s the biggest culprit for lung cancer we know about (we’re talking 20,000 lung cancer deaths per year), it can’t be detected without a special test, and an estimated one in 15 houses have radon leakages in the U.S. alone. Are you feeling lucky, punk?

“Sure. They threw in this suit; have you any idea how much these things cost?”

Luckily, even if you wind up buying a house without insisting on the test, the issue is fairly simple to fix with radon removal systems (if you notice it, that is). That fixes a minuscule damn fraction of your poisonin’ issues. There’s still carbon monoxide (400 deaths and up to 20,000 ER visits per year), potentially poisoning you from leaky heating systems and blocked vents. Does your house still have all the original surface materials, you hipster, you? Fuck — you might be looking at a lungful of hazardous lead paint, or fiberglass insulation, or plain old asbestos, or formaldehyde, or random pollutants from carpeting. Or mold. Or that goddamned ghost mold I mentioned earlier, why the hell not?

“I’m made up of the souls of the previous homeowners.”

I’m not trying to paint a picture of every house as a poison-filled death trap that is just waiting to take your money and your life. I’m not here to fearmonger — tons of people live in their own houses and are so happy they joyfully cry tears made out of Skittles. Still, I feel it’s worth pointing out all the weird bullshit that might bite you in the ass somewhere down the line if you don’t do the shit out of your homework before signing on the dotted line.

Besides, if I wanted to really monger fear, I wouldn’t be talking about pesky bullshit like poison seeping through the walls. I’d be talking about stuff like …

#2. Your Neighbors Are Crazy

I went into this column with the assumption that I’d be writing exclusively about how even the most dream-fulfilling, expensive house can turn into a shit soup at a moment’s notice, sometimes literally. However, the more I talked with house owners, the more a certain trend presented itself: In the house-ownin’ world, hell is not the occasional renovation. It’s other people.

I’ve heard many stories detailing the horrors of owning a house and being surrounded by the wrong kind of people, but for the purposes of this entry, we’ll focus on the one that best embodies them all. Consider the story of a friend of mine, whom we shall call Diana Womanhead. A few years ago, a relationship that for obvious reasons would not last (we’ll get to that in a minute) took her from the life of a big-city apartment-dweller to that of a small-town house owner.

“So, do I have to provide my own banjo, or are they complimentary?”

The first shock was the neighbors. You’d assume that having a house of your own would provide you with some sense of privacy and security. Not so: Almost immediately, neighbors started borderline forcefully introducing themselves, ambling to the house despite locked gates and cracking open a beer on their front porch. Sometimes, they had a six-pack. Other neighbors liberally used their yard as a toilet for their dog and occasionally screamed at them for “making too much noise.” Sometimes, they had an ax. While Diana was somewhat concerned by this, her guy was cool with literally anyone tumbling in. This included his many friends, who abused the situation by turning up unannounced for a barbecue, emptying the fridge, and occasionally sneaking into their guesthouse to pass out after a boozy Saturday night.

“The pillow mints were the perfect refresher after vomiting on the front lawn. Five stars.”

And then it turned out that the guy barely had enough money to deal with the house, let alone any interest to keep it in any kind of shape. He just happened to come from a culture where it is customary to own one, so he had to have one.

Still, at least Diana managed to get out without too much undue hassle. But remember Frank Buildinginspector from earlier? A friend of his bought a house with her significant other, only to be cock-slapped with a limp pecker of divorce. One day, when she was out, her soon-to-be ex-husband chose to torch the place, because fuck you. Too bad the dude was still one of the owners, so although he was caught for arson, the lady isn’t going to receive a dime for insurance.

#1. And Chances Are You’re Crazy Too

I am a terrible neighbor. I’m a long-haired, bearded man with serious resting bitch face syndrome who dresses almost exclusively in black and is generally too reserved and/or preoccupied with whatever deadline I’m wrestling to even say hi to my neighbors. I’m positive at least one of them thinks I’m a serial killer, thanks to a freak accident where my leg went to sleep when I was chopping onions in an awkward position, and I spent a good while limping around the place while still holding the knife and making nasty faces thanks to the onions getting to my eyes — only to see a horrified older woman stare at me through the window.

The clown makeup probably didn’t help my case.

But, again, I’m a humble tenant. The second the whole neighborhood inevitably grabs their pitchforks and torches to chase me back to the abyss where I belong, I can just piss off and start my reign of terror somewhere anew. No such luck when you’re financially tied to the area — if you’re the shitty neighbor, congratulations! You’re married to the house until the whole town gets tired of you and straight-up murders your ass.

“But Pauli,” you say. “Just because you’d be a pathetic, black-hearted excuse of a house owner and, for that matter, human being, it doesn’t make every potential house owner a dickhead.” That’s true, it doesn’t automatically turn you into one — only potentially.

Like The Shining but for assholes.

It’s so, so very easy to get caught up in neighbor shenanigans to the extent that you’re elbow-deep in petty dickery yourself. Sometimes, all it takes is one asshole and a situation where you both own your houses and are thus unable or unwilling to move away. Take the story of yet another one of my friends, whom we’ll call Andy Mandude. For years and years, his family was tormented by a total asshole of a neighbor who kept stoning their dogs, deliberately blocking their car on the narrow road they shared, physically picking fights, and generally acting like a five-star asshat, usually running back to the safety of his own property at the slightest chance of getting a comeuppance. Over the years, the situation escalated into a terrifying real-life version of the many imaginary battles between Donald Duck and Neighbor Jones, including (but not limited to) antics such as:

– a full-hearted attempt to chainsaw down a flagpole – ongoing, liberal verbal abuse – several physical wrestling matches – actual freaking death threats – stoning and shooting of pets

Even Biggie and Tupac kept their beef human-side.

– a reluctant, ongoing truce that Andy fully acknowledges can and likely eventually will break right back into horror shenanigans.

And that’s hardly an isolated case. Google “neighbor arguments” and you’ll find thousands and thousands of assholes you’d gladly pick a fight with if you found yourself living next door to them, or just read some of the best ones right here. Who’s the asshole in those fights? Ask both parties, and they’ll point the finger at each other. Which means that if you’re in even a mild, petty neighborhood argument, you are automatically an asshole. Even if you are in the right.

Eventually, you’ll get tired of it and decide, “Fuck every last second of this. Owning this house isn’t worth an ulcer or a heart attack.” Or you’ll get old and realize you have too much space to take care of … or you’ll have a family and realize you need more space. So you’ll sell your home and buy another one. And the person who buys your house will inherit all of the old fuckery you had to deal with. They’ll complain about your half-assed repairs and their new psychotic, dog-shooting neighbor. They’ll bad luck their way into an exploding sewer pipe and blame you for being negligent. Meanwhile, you’ll be doing the same thing at your new house. And that, friends, is the Circle of Homeowner Life.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/06/24/5-insane-true-stories-of-buying-the-house-from-hell/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/06/24/5-insane-true-stories-of-buying-the-house-from-hell/

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adambstingus · 7 years

Text

5 Insane True Stories Of Buying The House From Hell

(You will be sorry.)

#5. Poop Lurks Around Every Corner

One of the worst nights of my entire life can be handily summed up by the first minute or so of this scene from Dogma:

Yes, it’s the shit demon scene, and yes, it’s a damn documentary.

There are good moves and bad moves in this situation. The good move: whimper a bit and call an expert. The bad move: panic, flush.

Hot chocolate, anyone?

Really? Orange? That’s the color springing to mind here?

#4. Older Houses Feel Haunted For A Reason

BOOM!!!

“Don’t be silly. We’re not due until 2018.”

“Also, is it a little warm in here?”

#3. Poison Is Potentially Everywhere

“Sure. They threw in this suit; have you any idea how much these things cost?”

“I’m made up of the souls of the previous homeowners.”

Besides, if I wanted to really monger fear, I wouldn’t be talking about pesky bullshit like poison seeping through the walls. I’d be talking about stuff like …

#2. Your Neighbors Are Crazy

“So, do I have to provide my own banjo, or are they complimentary?”

“The pillow mints were the perfect refresher after vomiting on the front lawn. Five stars.”

#1. And Chances Are You’re Crazy Too

The clown makeup probably didn’t help my case.

Like The Shining but for assholes.

– a full-hearted attempt to chainsaw down a flagpole – ongoing, liberal verbal abuse – several physical wrestling matches – actual freaking death threats – stoning and shooting of pets

Even Biggie and Tupac kept their beef human-side.

– a reluctant, ongoing truce that Andy fully acknowledges can and likely eventually will break right back into horror shenanigans.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/06/24/5-insane-true-stories-of-buying-the-house-from-hell/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/162215212457

0 notes

jimdsmith34 · 7 years

Text

5 Insane True Stories Of Buying The House From Hell

(You will be sorry.)

#5. Poop Lurks Around Every Corner

One of the worst nights of my entire life can be handily summed up by the first minute or so of this scene from Dogma:

Yes, it’s the shit demon scene, and yes, it’s a damn documentary.

There are good moves and bad moves in this situation. The good move: whimper a bit and call an expert. The bad move: panic, flush.

Hot chocolate, anyone?

Really? Orange? That’s the color springing to mind here?

#4. Older Houses Feel Haunted For A Reason

BOOM!!!

“Don’t be silly. We’re not due until 2018.”

“Also, is it a little warm in here?”

#3. Poison Is Potentially Everywhere

“Sure. They threw in this suit; have you any idea how much these things cost?”

“I’m made up of the souls of the previous homeowners.”

Besides, if I wanted to really monger fear, I wouldn’t be talking about pesky bullshit like poison seeping through the walls. I’d be talking about stuff like …

#2. Your Neighbors Are Crazy

“So, do I have to provide my own banjo, or are they complimentary?”

“The pillow mints were the perfect refresher after vomiting on the front lawn. Five stars.”

#1. And Chances Are You’re Crazy Too

The clown makeup probably didn’t help my case.

Like The Shining but for assholes.

– a full-hearted attempt to chainsaw down a flagpole – ongoing, liberal verbal abuse – several physical wrestling matches – actual freaking death threats – stoning and shooting of pets

Even Biggie and Tupac kept their beef human-side.

– a reluctant, ongoing truce that Andy fully acknowledges can and likely eventually will break right back into horror shenanigans.

source http://allofbeer.com/2017/06/24/5-insane-true-stories-of-buying-the-house-from-hell/ from All of Beer http://allofbeer.blogspot.com/2017/06/5-insane-true-stories-of-buying-house.html

0 notes

allofbeercom · 7 years

Text

5 Insane True Stories Of Buying The House From Hell

(You will be sorry.)

#5. Poop Lurks Around Every Corner

One of the worst nights of my entire life can be handily summed up by the first minute or so of this scene from Dogma:

Yes, it’s the shit demon scene, and yes, it’s a damn documentary.

There are good moves and bad moves in this situation. The good move: whimper a bit and call an expert. The bad move: panic, flush.

Hot chocolate, anyone?

Really? Orange? That’s the color springing to mind here?

#4. Older Houses Feel Haunted For A Reason

BOOM!!!

“Don’t be silly. We’re not due until 2018.”

“Also, is it a little warm in here?”

#3. Poison Is Potentially Everywhere

“Sure. They threw in this suit; have you any idea how much these things cost?”

“I’m made up of the souls of the previous homeowners.”

Besides, if I wanted to really monger fear, I wouldn’t be talking about pesky bullshit like poison seeping through the walls. I’d be talking about stuff like …

#2. Your Neighbors Are Crazy

“So, do I have to provide my own banjo, or are they complimentary?”

“The pillow mints were the perfect refresher after vomiting on the front lawn. Five stars.”

#1. And Chances Are You’re Crazy Too

The clown makeup probably didn’t help my case.

Like The Shining but for assholes.

– a full-hearted attempt to chainsaw down a flagpole – ongoing, liberal verbal abuse – several physical wrestling matches – actual freaking death threats – stoning and shooting of pets

Even Biggie and Tupac kept their beef human-side.

– a reluctant, ongoing truce that Andy fully acknowledges can and likely eventually will break right back into horror shenanigans.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/06/24/5-insane-true-stories-of-buying-the-house-from-hell/

0 notes