red carnations [dazai x reader]
cw: 1.5k wc, alcohol, one mention of dazai's suicide book
“Oh, shit,” Dazai laughed, stumbling over his own feet as he stood.
You paid no mind to him, digging your face further into the couch to shield your eyes from the sun's glare. Groaning, you squinted through the daylight to peek into the kitchen, where Dazai tried his best to fill up a glass with water from the sink.
“How did we end up out here?” He asked, rubbing his eye with his knuckle and taking a sip from the cup as he walked back toward you.
“Pretty sure it was Kunikida’s cheap ass rosé,” You said, face twisted in disgust. “Why did you make me drink that again?”
You took the glass from Dazai’s outstretched hand and ignored him when he jumped onto the couch beside you. His hand circled your thighs and brought them onto his lap, his fingertips rubbing softly on your skin.
“If I recall correctly,” Dazai puts his forefinger in your face. “You were the one who forced it down my throat. I took no part in stealing Great Kunikida’s favourite alcoholic beverage.”
You shook your head, sipping water from his glass and raising your hand to run your fingers through his messy hair. “Never let me steal it again.”
“Mhm,” He dismissed you with a wave of his hand, tilting his head into your touch. “It’s hard to sway you when you’re set on something.”
You rested your head on the back of the couch and looked at him. His cheeks were still tinted deep red from when you last saw them last night, but you were unsure if it was from the hangover or something entirely different.
“Are we gonna clean the candle wax off the shelf?” You mumbled, eyes flickering between his dark irises.
Dazai sighed loudly, turning his face forward, breaking your staring competition. “Nah, we’ll clean it up next time.”
You raised your eyebrows, nails grazing the top of his bandages at the back of his neck. "You'll clean it up next time."
Dazai glanced at you, fingers running higher up your leg. If he wasn't so entranced by you, maybe he would've declined.
“Have you heard from Dazai lately?” You asked Yosano as you walked into the ADA.
Yosano turned to face you from her desk, eyebrows knitted. “Yeah, he was just here, like, 20 minutes ago.”
Your mouth opened slightly in disbelief. “Really?” The question came out in a whisper, and you were too caught up in your thoughts to notice her calling your name.
“Why?” Yosano asked, now standing in front of you with her arms crossed. It seemed everybody else in the office was out, so it was deathly quiet while you contemplated what to say.
Nonetheless, you felt your face heat up at the memory. “He came over on Sunday night, and we–“
“Don’t tell me you–” Yosano shook her head, eyes locking onto the fading maroon bruise on your neck.
“No!” You gasped, body tingling with embarrassment. “No, just let me explain.”
The universe only gave you 12 minutes to explain your current predicament before Atsushi and Kyouka walked in, confused looks on their faces when they saw you waving your arms around.
“What’s going on?” Atsushi asked, placing his black gloves on his desk.
“Where’s Dazai?” Yosano inquired, raising a single eyebrow at the younger boy.
“Oh!” Atsushi looked at Kyouka, who turned away and pretended to shuffle papers on Kenji’s desk. “Uh, he’s… around, you know how he is.”
“Uh, huh,” The physician nodded, tongue pressing on the inside of her cheek. “Kyouka?”
The teenager paused her hands, dropping the documents. “He’s downstairs.”
Atsushi groaned softly while you and Yosano shared a glance. “Thanks.”
Dazai had always gotten a kick out of begging various women to die with him; that much was true. And you didn’t mind – why would you? You weren’t exclusive, and he could go after anyone he wanted. At least, that’s what you told yourself when you saw his cheeks were still burgundy – you could see that much. But what you couldn’t see was the face of the waitress who sat with her back to you.
The pain on your face must’ve been obvious because it was enough for Yosano to call his name, venom dripping from her words.
Dazai popped his head up at the sound, a smile spreading across his cheeks when he saw you. “Belladonna!” But his expression then morphed into one of panic. “You need to leave!”
You were taken aback. “What?”
The brunette stepped around the waitress and walked toward you, eyes bouncing around the room. He finally stopped before you, hands reaching out to take yours, gaze locked on the woman beside you. “Yosano, take her upstairs.”
“Dazai–”
“Please,” His dark eyes were pleading, yet they twinkled with something close to mischief. “I’ll let you know when to come back down.”
“No, I don’t want to go upstairs. Tell me what’s going on,” You argued, snatching your hands out of his.
“I’ll tell you later, okay?” Dazai added.
You tore your gaze away from him and fought against the tears in your eyes but let Yosano guide you back to the office anyway, a look of abrupt understanding on her face that you couldn’t begin to comprehend.
Upon returning, Kyouka looked regretful, and Atsushi had his head in his hands.
“Get over it!” Yosano announced, rolling her eyes when the pair jumped in surprise.
You were at a loss for words and tired. “I’m just gonna go home.”
“No!” Atsushi sprung up from his chair, clearing his throat when Kyouka glared at him. “I mean,” He coughed. “Just stay here a while. I’m sure everything’s fine.”
But you shook your head and grabbed your bag from the floor where you’d left it when you arrived. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”
A knock at your door was the last thing you wanted to deal with. Covered with two blankets and a tea in your hand, you grumbled when the knocking didn’t stop.
So, you got up, paused the episode you were watching and opened your front door.
Your breath hitched when you recognised Dazai’s shoes on your doorstep, a bouquet of red carnations covering his face. “What do you want?”
Dazai violently shoved the flowers to the side, his face visible now. “What do you mean ‘what do you want’?” He pushed past you to enter your apartment and placed the bouquet on the kitchen counter. “I’m here because you left the office.”
Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, irritation simmering in your veins. “I’m going to ignore the fact you just invited yourself in.”
“Whoa!” Dazai taunted, shrugging his coat off his shoulders. “What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong with me?” You questioned mockingly. “You!”
“Me?” He tilted his head.
“Yes, you!” You stepped in his direction, skin heated and blood pumping quickly. “You told me to leave the cafe, so I left! Dickhead...”
Dazai treaded slowly toward you, palms facing upwards. “I told you to stay in the office until I called you.”
“What am I?” You laughed bitterly. “A dog?”
Dazai sighed and shook his head. “You know what, you’re right. I shouldn’t have phrased it like that, but you didn’t have to leave.”
“You’re impossible, Osamu.”
Dazai raised his eyebrows in shock at the use of his name. “Oh, okay. I’m the impossible one.”
“Yes!”
“What if I said I asked you to leave because I was planning the best date of your life in the cafe?”
This made you pause. “Huh?”
Dazai took your hands in his, but you wouldn’t pull away this time. “I wanted to ask you out properly. But, someone had to open her big mouth and ruin the surprise.”
“Kyouka did nothing wrong,” You laughed. “You should’ve just told me.”
“Do you know the definition of a surprise? Or should I get the dictionary for you? Perhaps send you back to first grade?”
You slapped Dazai’s bicep and twisted your lips in thought. “Were you really going to ask me out?”
“Do you think I would subject myself to a florist for fun?” Dazai joked, nodding his head back at the flowers on the counter, placing his hand delicately on your cheek. “Of course I was! I like you.”
“Oh, Dazai,” You mumbled, voice thick with emotion.
And for the first time in the entirety you’d known him, Dazai was speechless, awaiting an answer that you’d soon give him. He chewed on his bottom lip, never fearing drawing blood because the thought of rejection was more painful than anything he’d ever tried from his book of suicide.
But when you smiled, pinching his pink cheek between your thumb and forefinger, Dazai knew it would be okay. “You’re so cute.”
“Wha–What?” He pouted. “I’m bearing my soul to you, and that’s all I get?” Shaking his head, Dazai let a smile slip out. “Lord, give me strength.”
“Shut up!” You laughed, hand on the back of his neck to pull his face closer to yours. And when his nose bumped yours, his hands found home on your waist. “I adore you, Osamu.”
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I love the Joel not having sex for a while blurb bc you know he’d feel guilty about it and reader would promise him that it’s okay (and genuinely mean it too) and then they would eventually start getting intimate bc my man can’t beat it forever and it would make him feel closer to reader though he’d never admit it bc she feels even more like his wife and I’m not well
the blurb
something that would be extra fun is if when they finally do have sex, it’s so good that it leaves them both craving more 24/7 but reader thinks it was a one time fluke and Joel feels like he didn’t do a good job the first time so they’re both yearning for the other in complete silence
so joel gets more desperate, his sensitivity gets worse. you’re both eating dinner or something and these tiny little things start to turn him on.
you seat him at the head of the table, you made his favorite meal (we’ll say it’s steak) even though he knows it’s hard for you, you pour his beer into a cup just so you guys can be matching, you ask him to cut your steak for you, and constantly check to make sure he’s enjoying his meal.
he’s leaking into his boxers and all over his thighs before you guys are even half way through the meal.
and he doesn’t realize it but although his desperation isn’t obvious to you, physically. you can see a change in the way he looks at you, you just can’t pinpoint what it means. so you’re squirming hotly under his gaze but you have no idea what his gaze means.
the way you catch him staring more often, the way it used to embarrass him, he’d turn from you immediately but now he holds your look, keeps you staring at him with a soft smirk before you’re the one shyly looking away.
he begins to linger around you more, letting his tall frame tower over you as a soft presence behind you. sometimes if he’s watching you long enough, he’ll lose himself in his thoughts and slowly press himself against you, just his chest in stomach as not to alert you to his issues but it makes your brain go haywire.
you try and stand there calmly, maybe giggling before asking him what he’s doing, or just selfishly basking in the intamacy of the moment, the arousal it brings you even though you know he means it in a more romantic, non-sexual way.
ooo maybe he gets more depraved. like in his need for more of you, it gets harder for him to get off without you. so maybe he becomes just a little bit of a perv. he’ll tell you that he has some work to do in his office but then find himself in the doorway to you guys’ room, watching you do whatever you’re doing with his fist flying over his cock.
he’ll say he has to go shower whenever you tell him your going to start dinner so he watch you dance around the kitchen, muttering little things to yourself in your adorable little apron.
his thoughts begin to shock him.
while he’s watching you in the kitchen he can only think about what you’d look like bent over the counter your standing at with his body towering over you. or sitting atop the counter with him on his knees for you, or him leaning against the edge with you on your knees for him.
the thoughts are a bit too much for him and his orgasm tears through his body much sooner than he was expecting. he has to turn his body into the hallway where you can’t see him and dig into his lip painfully, eyes shut tight as he cums all over the wall.
he usually times himself better, he’s able to cum into his hand or the tissue in his pocket.
he groans internally as his cock spews out it’s last few ropes. he wipes down the wall with the tissue he was supposed to cum into and goes to actually take a shower.
but later you see a little streak on the wall that looks like… no but it can’t be. “what is this?” you scoop it onto your pinky and it’s already a bit thicker than you suspected. so maybe it’s not what you thought it was… or maybe it’s just old..
joel rounds the corner and you see a pause in his pace for half a second, seemingly shocked by your discovery. “uh—! don’t— i don’t know but-“ he grabs the bottom of his shirt and immediately starts wiping your finger. “don’t go touchin’ random- uh- random substances, baby.”
“mm.. you’re right.” you just watch him as he frantically wipes your hand, waiting for him to look back at you. when he does there’s a underlying look of panic that has a spark lighting in your stomach. this may really be what you thought it was…
maybe you question him after that. and the big guy was never good at lying to you so..
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