#한 지성 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

killedpink · 10 months

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한 지성 | a special appearance.

🎧 masterlist !?

📷 synopsis: your very much pined over friend and coworker, jisung, discovers your cam show. luckily for you, all he wants in the world is to be featured on your show as your first guest.

📖 word count: 6.3K

📂 contains: camming reader, unprotected sex, filmmaking, coworker setting, friends to lovers, afab reader, mutual pining, i mention jisung's eyes a lot here let's not acknowledge it please, slight fingering, oral sex, deepthroating, hair pulling, dirty talk, marking, thigh riding, cum consumption, creampie

when you started your camming business, you didn't expect it to grow in popularity. the website you used just barely scratched top three biggest sites each year, but somehow you still raked in millions of views across your platform. the pay wasn't too bad, either — it was enough to cover the expenses of living and then some, which is especially good once you take into account that camming is only a side hustle. you'd get on once a week at best, keep your identity private and in exchange be generously tipped. not a bad set-up, right?

until one day where your coworker (the only one in your workplace who you think about in detail during your sessions) grows awkward around you, which is even more heartbreaking considering you have good chemistry together. so, you approach him when you finally catch him alone when you're both doing overtime, and you politely demand answers out of his round, plump pink lips. jisung flushed ten different shades of red before his features settle into an anxiousness. "i found your cam show." his voice is quiet, his brown eyes avoid eye contact, his lips uttered the words quickly and with much restraint in his throat. your own brain had stopped working, a million questions in your head and yet you couldn't make sense of one, and instead of asking him a simple, "what?" you were too stunned to properly engage.

jisung cleared his throat, looking up at you with those big, brown, tragically round eyes of his, "i watched your show." his voice was much clearer, still low in sound and barely resisting the urge to mutter it as if it were a curse. although being undeniably embarrassed, you weren't ashamed nor upset with him. "so.. do you not wanna hang out with me anymore?" you felt your voice falter, catching on your emotions.

"what? no! no, not at all!" jisung all but exploded, eyes widening and enunciating every syllable, "i'm sorry, i really am. i just felt a bit awkward because you didn't know and i didn't even realise it was you until it ended — i only figured out it was you from your voice — i swear i am not a creep."

to lighten the mood, you lean into his bubble and mutter into his ear, "how was i?" and the proximity allows you to hear how his breath hitches and how the apples of his cheeks redden as he chuckles.

the both of you finish work and clock out together, and you cant help but notice how jisung hangs around his car, his eyes on you the entire time. "hey, listen, i could give you a ride home if you're up for it?" it's evident in his voice that he's not entirely ready for you to leave his company, and it's always a pleasure to spend time with him. when he starts driving to your residence it's like his brain is on autopilot: he doesn't ask for directions and he doesn't even ask you to clarify where he's going, despite only driving to your home a handful of times. he's attentive — you'll give him that. the palm of jisung's hand rests comfortably on your thigh, his warmth reaching your bare skin as your skirt rides up to make room for his hand, cupping the flesh of your thigh and affectionately squeezing it every so often, usually when you shifted in your seat to satiate the throbbing between your legs.

throughout the car ride, jisung makes little effort to engage in conversation with you. he barely looks at you, his gaze completely fixed onto the roads even when the car had stopped at a traffic light. it worries you — and you start to consider the possibility that he lied about being okay with your side business, or worse; he lied about your relationship still being the same, if there was any relationship left, that is. with a heavy heart and your mind screaming at you to not go through with your idea, you place the palm of your hand above his, completely enveloping his warmth. he's soft, his skin a tanned bronze and easy to caress: and you almost fall into that trap.

"you can tell me, if it's weird for you." you didn't want to hear how little jisung thought of you, but deep down, you knew he had the right to stay away from you if he felt that was best. you just hoped he didn't feel that way.

the first sign you get from him is a sigh, light and airy and the bridging the space between the both of you to his thoughts. "i know we're just coworkers, but, i really like you." jisung cleared his throat, your gaze catching his brown eyes for a moment. but, in that brief period of time, his dark, sharp, soft eyes — paradoxical, yes, — enchant you and whisper every nothing directly into your aching heart.

"and, if you're up for it, i wanted to.." he paused, trying to choose the right words as he drummed his fingers on the wheel, "to.. try it?" he looked at you for validation. "try what?" you turned to the side to watch him properly. as the car started moving again, it took jisung longer to find the words in his throat. "to be on your show."

you knew he pulled onto your driveway, you knew the comforts of your home were waiting for you, and you especially knew this was new territory that you weren't at all sure of how to navigate. regardless, you knew the thrumming in your chest was your heart beginning to flutter and you begin to grow addicted to the way jisung looks at you — it all ends in his eyes. life, death, rebirth, it's all the same to you when those round, furiously tormenting brown eyes stare at you as if you hung the stars from your mouth and let them slip from your tongue like honey. he's pure and he's rare and you fear you could shatter him with this dormant side of your life. but how enthralling that would be? to discover each other and touch him where your hands could never reach?

your fingers weave their way between jisung's, "okay. if you want to, i do, too." his eyebrows rise up in surprise and his pink lips part slightly. "i didn't expect you to answer so soon," you didn't expect to have an answer for him so soon, yet you found the words brimming the inside of your lips just as easily as you could think them.

you shrugged, "do you know when you'd want to..?" you trailed off, assuming jisung could fill in the blank, while he leaned closer to you and unbuckled your seatbelt, his hand deserting your thigh to unbuckle it and the other holding onto the buckle to avoid it colliding with you. from this position, you're taller than jisung, his head bowed down slightly, still momentarily focused on the seatbelt, and when he looks up at you, his lashes thick and his eyes round. the mesmerising, tragic witchery of his dark, onyx-like eyes haunt you so perfectly that you're unable to look away, hypnotised by the dusk night gleaming in his soft, doe eyes.

"how about now?" he murmured, and you're taken aback by his sudden forwardness. "now?" you echo, his dark hair following his head as he nods. "what's stopping us? what better time than now?" you hear the edge of desperation in his voice; he wants you as bad as you crave him, you're sure of it. his voice is low and rasp and slightly breathy, his words setting something ablaze deep within you and his smoky voice does little to quell the ashes igniting in the cage of your hips, and suddenly, all you can feel is that heat searing into your gut until it aches. your eyes flutter closed and you lean into jisung, his soft lips kissing your jaw; starting out timidly, but each press into your skin leaves him hungrier to taste you. his plump lips kiss your neck and he kisses the gasps that both start and end in your throat; he kisses them through your skin and you're sure he can feel when you swallow nervously.

your hands creep up into his hair before you can stop yourself, and like desperate, exploding stars, your eyes are immediately focused onto his, losing yourself into them as if you see something cosmically different each time. "you want to come inside, or stay in your car the whole time?" you tease, your lips curling into a pleased smile once you see jisung grin, his smile heart shaped and like every other part of him: hypnotic. "you know how to keep someone's attention," he muses, unbuckling his own seatbelt and turning away from you.

after a bit of ground-laying, and a short rehearsal which didn't even go all the way (which jisung insisted be done even more than you), the livestream is finally started.

people swarm into the show almost immediately, the comments moving so fast you can barely make out any coherent words behind your sex-blurred eyes. the tips are insanely generous — and you hadn't even gotten to any action yet. your audience hadn't seen you with a guest before, and despite you teasing it, you had never really intended to ask someone to join you.

all they get of you on their screen is your semi-naked body, your face obscured. jisung sits behind you on the bed, your back pressed firmly to his chest, in his lap. his hands slowly caress your sides, and your body is warmer than usual when he slips his hands into your inner thighs. the camera captures his soft fingers slipping into your underwear in high definition, the screen projecting a brightness your sensual lighting fails to — illuminating the way your knees want to connect like magnets as jisung's breath fans across the mouth-shaped circles of saliva on your neck.

you're pretty sure your soul levitates out of your body when he hums in your ear, his pink lips pressing kisses into your neck that you didn't realise you had been craving — and jisung scratched that itch just right. it was hypnotic and torturous at the same time. your hand fumbled for his, your fingernails digging into his tanned skin to anchor yourself before you reach delirium. and while jisung's index and middle finger circle your swelling clit under the fabric of your underwear, you realise with little to no effort that he touches you in a way you've never felt before. it leaves you carnally sinking into his swoon-worthy, tan build, the same way flesh knits together over a fatal wound.

he is your religion, and this feeling only intensifies as your back arches and your head lolls onto his shoulder the same way the brick of a cathedral is laid in an arch of brick. the most your frenzied audience gets of this is your chest trembling for breath and your hips rising and falling as jisung pulls his fingers away from your sex, glistening with his efforts and roping together in sticky strings.

you pull yourself off of his lap with shaking, trembling legs, and you stumble out of your panties as if you were drunk. maybe you were. you make eye contact with jisung, his brown eyes wide and lovely and deep inside of them you find the lover has replaced the coworker. his cheeks are beginning to flush and his lips start to swell, and he gives you a furiously charming smile that doubles as a smirk when you squint. the audience picks up on this chemistry, despite a large portion of it not being captured on camera.

crawling back onto the soft surface of the bed, you kiss and nip at jisung's neck, dragging your warm tongue over his collarbone. "take these off, ji," you whisper into his ear, careful to not let your viewers hear his name, your teeth grazing the shell of his ear as your hand groped the growing erection under his jeans. with the proximity, you heard the whimper jisung tried to swallow, his pinkish lips parted and his adam's apple bobbing.

you get comfortable in between jisung's bare legs, your hands resting atop his thighs, your nails grazing the exposed skin absentmindedly. the feeling of it melts the iron ball of anxiety in his gut, leaving only the torturous, blazing fire resting in his abdomen. jisung watched you with wide, long-lashed eyes, curiosity and that intoxicating lust-filled look shone down on you like a blessing. claim me, his eyes said, while the peverted grin on his face said temptress.

excitement burned between your legs, chaining you and influencing you. all your reserve was shredding away, your mind foggy and your body yearning, and weeping. you sank into his lap like a priest at a sermon, all devotion and no defiance. carefully, you introduced his cock to the velvety heat of your mouth, your hands guiding the weight of his cock to sit above your wet tongue. slow and experimentally, you sucked and licked his leaking head, just enough to get a taste of his rich, salty precum. it was enough to wet his cock and you slipped more of him into your mouth, greedily chocking down each morsel of jisung's cock. jisung fought to strangle down a single, pornographic whining mewl that sounded so unbelievably filthy that you couldn't help but smile onto his length. it must have looked obscene, or animalistic: your lips in a puffy wet ring around jisung's cock, your half-lidded gaze and your hands sprawled out onto the inside of his thighs and grabbing pathetically at the base of his cock.

all of your fantasies are given to your audience for just a moment. you hollowed out your cheeks and nuzzled his cock further into your warm mouth until his hard, velvety head prodded at your throat and just barely obscured your breath. jisung's sob died with his own breath, his hips rolling into your mouth and his cock twitching. your legs twisted like a sunflower facing the sun in an attempt to stimulate your own sex.

cautiously, you try a few slow bobs on his tastefully sweet length, his precum mixed with your drool coated his entire cock, and clung to your lips like webs. it was sticky and warm and it got between your hands and his base. you found a slow rhythm, tracing the veins on the underside of jisung's cock with your tongue, despite wanting so desperately to feel them somewhere else. you're almost certain that the microphone can pick up the filthy sounds of liquid sloshing around in your mouth and throat. you can hear it echo in your own head as your tongue traces his tip in circular motions. jisung's eyes squeeze shut, and his hands creep into your hair and appreciatively stroke your hair.

the pop of your mouth slipping off of jisung's aching cock almost bounced off of the walls. "i love doing this for you." your voice was low, not daring to let it venture past the bubble you and jisung have created around you. the image of him above you, his doe-eyed look spoke to you as if you were both lips to lips. his heart shaped lips were parted, half from mind-numbing pleasure, and the other from the soul soothing feeling of emotional intimacy. softly, your lips pucker and gently kiss jisung's swollen tip, softly insisting it be drenched in your love.

like the calm waves of the september sea, your hand falls into a pleasing rhythm which strokes jisung's cock so attentively that he revels in it, and in his mind he's sure he's going to re-watch this video over and over, until the entire feat is committed to memory. you rise and let jisung bring you into a kiss; your swollen lips glide over each other smoothly, pressing together with bruising mouths and bitten hearts, yearning for the other. jisung slides and scrapes his palms up your back as you kiss, soaking up every inch of your vulnerable, naked skin that he's allowed. you feel the smirk jisung makes through the kiss, and you realise he's taunting your viewers. he's telling them — daring them to touch you the way he can.

jisung kissed you so intensely that you can't even remember when he unclasped your bra, opening you up fully and laying you out like a delicacy made to be ravaged and worshipped all at the same time. when your clothes are nothing but a memory, jisung uses his teeth to appreciatively roll your top lip that was caught between both of his lips before pulling you off of his mouth.

you're grateful for this; you couldn't muster the inner strength to part from him yourself, but yet you couldn't even stomach being away from his cock for so long. you dipped back down eagerly to whirl your warm tongue around his heavy, leaking head. the corruption, the depravity for jisung always starts with the mouth, the tongue — the sheer, unfiltered wanting that leaves you so desperate that nothing else but him could even begin to be satisfactory.

he sunk down into you, swaying into your warmth and your efficiency. jisung worked his nimble fingers into your mussed hair, groping handfuls and tugging at the crown of your head. he pulled so tautly that it made your head burn, and burn it did; as well as ache. but it and everything else went unnoticed when compared to jisung's mouth watering cock rolling and gliding into your wet mouth. "y'look so pretty, angel, so pretty like this, fuck..."

dear god that's good. that's perfect, you realise. your free hand finds his in a daze, and yours clings onto jisung's so tightly that you feel his hard, unmoving knuckles press firmly into the soft, wavering pads of your fingers. you choke down the rest of jisung's cock in appreciation, your sex slicked lips slotted perfectly against his hilt, sealing and suckling him so that he was even closer to becoming undone by your mouth that evidently wanted nothing more than to be full with his rich, intoxicating taste. you traced the seam of his head, the natural crease in his velvet smooth tip where his body rewarded your efforts, sucking and savouring the taste of him.

jisung had already given himself up to the pleasure — he had already surrendered himself to you. his pelvis seared into your mouth, and jisung cried, a smooth and guttural noise that left goosebumps on your skin and your cunt aching. jisung rocked into you desperately, chasing the unfathomable pleasure you threw yourself into making for him. the sheer neediness of the act set another wave of lust and heat and dazed love to run its course through your naked body, still snug between jisung's legs.

the pull to jisung was buried deep within your skin which seared at his sounds, the heavy gravity of his soul called to you so intensely that you have no choice but to believe there is no heaven waiting in the clouds; there is no paradiso that dante could ever write that could ever make you a worshipper of his work – for your paradiso, your paradise is here: tucked deep away from the world and instead melted and nursed by jisung. you had no choice but to let his praise fall to your ears and his hands grasp at every inch of you he can find with his doe eyes squeezed shut so tightly that it's almost as if he manages to caress your skin in the dark.

you knew jisung was close. you could see it on his face. the way his brows furrowed and his slightly curved nose scrunched up with his boyish smile, all pink and heart shaped. with determination, you relaxed your achingly sore jaw and pushed forward; you fully leaned into jisung’s lap, your nose dug bluntly into the tan skin atop his abs. you were met with two things: the burning intensity of chocking on a mouth-watering cock, and the soundless cry that sprang out from jisung as if he were a stray coil. somehow, his cries and groans and praises were harmonious, unlike his hands. one scrambled to grip your hair even tighter; as if his fingers would never untangle and he accepted his fate, his digits pushing and pulling your head as if you’d miraculously fuse together. while the hand that you held onto clung to you so tightly you could almost feel the pressure of the bones in your hand being pressed taut to themselves. all jisung could comprehend was the hot, impossibly soft, smooth pulse of your throat — it completely surrounded his sensitive, spent cock, swollen and leaking and twitching as it untangled itself and gave its all to you.

every inch of jisung’s pretty, swollen cock stuffed your throat so intensely it left you utterly crazed. you were half sure, that from the sheer stretch your body had to do to accommodate him, that the shape of his cock would be carved into your throat; you could feel every inch, vein and splutter of cum pulse and fade into your throat so deliciously that you’re unsure who is enjoying this more: you or jisung.

you were lost in the rich, salty taste of him. you were swallowed whole by the scent of his sweat mixing with his cologne — cedar wood, and cinnamon, and rosemary, and a note of sweetness perfectly crafted to leave you lost and shivering from the mere suggestion of his presence. but by far, the most rewarding part of devoting the best part of half an hour to sucking jisung off was most definitely his mouth. in true jisung han fashion, he was loud and didn’t know how – or when – to shut up. he purred and whined and gasped, filthily and innocently at the same time — he was a walking paradox. you felt the vibration of his voice through touching him. his eyes, solid and teary, looked at you, cock still stuffed in your mouth, cheeks hollowed and red and your lips in a puffed ring around his base, drool and cum spilling out from the corners of your mouth, and he looked at you with no emotion short of lovesick.

his taste conquered you, and yet something in you wanted more. you couldn't rest. you were so mindless — jisung sung your praises so tirelessly that it left you star-struck, a devoted believer of whatever profound subtleties hid between his pink, pillowy lips. amongst the general mind-whiting pleasure and delectable sounds that seemed to blur your surroundings, your chat was overflowing with comments. you're not sure that the donations in the corner have ever ceased coming.

it was with great difficulty, that you were able to pull yourself off of jisung's spent cock. your surroundings slipped back into place as you did so, your mind untangling itself and your lungs burning with every short, desperate breath you took.

long, thick ropes of jisung’s cum and your drool clung to your mouth, stretching thinner as the distance from his throbbing cock and your sore mouth grew. crudely, it snapped and fell between you, smearing and leaving a semi-opaque memento on jisung’s tasteful length.

you hadn’t planned to go all the way with him. for your first session with a guest, all the way felt like too much. but your chat and the tips begged for it — you had never seen such large numbers on a live video of yours before. you wouldn’t object to fully fucking jisung, either. he was enigmatic in his movements, melodic in his noises and dutiful in the way he touched you. the entirety of the night you spent with him so far was very much like a religious experience: clouds parting, sun shining and angels singing.

you settled on his thigh, both of your legs straddling one of his and unsubtly grinding your bare, aching slit up the length of his muscular, well-carved thigh. jisung’s tanned hands wrapped around your waist, pinky fingers following the swells of your hips, and giving you that much needed stability to fall onto a rhythmic pace that only made you more obsessive over fully fucking jisung on camera. because even if you never get to do this again, you’re sure you would be able to feel the same way he makes you feel by watching the video again. you’re sure jisung’s touch would haunt you in ways no-one could ever fathom, or dream about. because if it feels that good kissing him until your head grows fuzzy, and if it feels that good sucking him off until your lungs burn, it must look even better — and you cannot imagine how it would look if jisung pinned your wrists and fucked you so terribly deep into your mattress that it felt as if he were using his hips to carve you into the bedding.

you wanted to immortalise this exchange. because dear god you might never have this opportunity again.

you kiss — and truly kiss. lips part and teeth clash, scalding tongue meets scalding tongue. your mouths trace each other’s and you feel as if you have become one elaborate person. jisung touches you exactly where you need to be touched without even thinking it, and you moan when he does. it’s both remarkably intimate and terrifying. remarkable, because no-one has ever came close to making you feel this way; terribly because you’re certain no-one can ever make you feel like this again.

your body yearns for him in unfathomable ways, terribly and deeply. you notice that jisung has a way — a talent, even, of simultaneously melting and setting ablaze every part of you. it is maddening and addictive at the same time. jisung put your roaming, explorative hands atop his shoulders, letting you anchor yourself onto him. your fingernails dug into his shoulder blades; your hands wanted to claw themselves into the muscle of jisung's tanned, broad shoulders. you wanted to pry him open and read all his secrets.

you feel jisung's wet cock press against the outside of your thigh, tender and persistent. your sex aches with the weight of an unshed orgasm — all consuming and begging to be released. your body leans into jisung's, your mouth finding the shell of his red flushed ear, your eyes catching on the way he grinned sinfully and leaned his body closer to yours. your teeth graze jisung's skin, your wet tongue prods his jawline, and your mouth scatters all over his neck, leaving no inch of his skin un-worshiped.

his lap is slick with your arousal, your hips rocking yourself onto the hard muscle of his thigh until the movement becomes automatic. your eyes gloss over you and jisung on the camera; his hands are mean in the way that they hold you. it's mean and possessive and his fingers are sure to leave bruises on your dirtily loved skin as he presses you into him as if he wants you to break.

from the proximity, you hear jisung's voice catch on a moan each time your hip bumps his swollen cock, his tip flushed a painful looking hue of pink and his length twitching and thrusting desperately just in case he manages to slide his cock over your sticky skin again. your forehead rests on his wide, steady shoulders and your fingers bury themselves into the curve of his bicep. your lips part to make way for your teeth, which dig into his soft, tan skin. your voice sinks into his body and your fervent mouth finds its home marking jisung's skin with your vicious, possessive love. your face is buried into the warm curve of jisung's neck and you hear how his husky sighs die in his thick throat, his heart shaped adam's apple betraying his otherwise impressive efforts of keeping his cool.

you're almost shocked at jisung. he walks around with an angelic presence, his innocent doe eyes and soft, cherub face is the picture of perfection. he's all softness, curves and sweet smiles. who knew he had a deep, piercing craving to be loved viciously and unforgettably?

your mouth releases jisung's sweat prickled skin with a pop, "no more," you gasp, the cage of your hips burning with filth and obscenity, your cunt still unclaimed by him and sobbing at that fact. "need you so fucking bad.." you let your teeth affectionately nip at his bruising skin. you let your voice fall quieter, "ji.. c'mon." you urge him, your hand falling to his cock and you push your palm against the underside of his sensitive cock, barely rubbing and yet applying so much pressure against his sweet spot that you feel his cock twitch as his hips thrust into your hand to chase your touch, infecting him with your pining for him.

before he gets the chance to flood your hand with his cum, you jerk your hand away and finally let the pads of your fingers sink into the slick, puffiness that is your neglected sex, your touch immediately onto your swollen clit. this time, jisung doesn't try hiding his sounds.

"fuck!" he draws out, almost growling in frustration, his eyes glaring at you. half-lidded and lust blown, brows furrowed and an unbelieving smirk all matched together on his face. all of it made you swoon. you are wicked, his poetically brown eyes say. jisung's groan replays itself in your mind, echoing and fuelling the desperate need for an orgasm in your body further.

jisung's hand finds a firm, cruel grip on your hip. they dig past the flesh and sit adjacent to your hipbone, guiding you off of his thigh while his other hand readies his cock, his hand wrapped around his base as he saws his searing head up and down your slick, ignored sex; it yanked a whine out of your throat when it caught on your puffed, tender clit.

jisung truly makes you suffer at his pretty hands. he lets you claw at his toned, muscular back — and he lets you sob and writhe in his lap, eager to sit on his cockmeat.

you needed his brutish grip on you to leave a bruise; you needed his touch to linger on your skin and you needed him to haunt you, in body and soul. you let his grip shape you into what he needs and you pray he can feel the agonising lust that gnaws through your skin, too.

the sight of his mean, thick cock torturing your raw sex looks better from above. you pity your audience: for all they see is a fixed angle. no video could ever do the feeling of han jisung's leaking cock deciding its invasion of your dripping, lustrously burning sex justice.

the room spins as you realise your positions have changed. your cheek is planted on the bed, head turned to the side to spot where jisung is via the camera. he looms over you, and it sends a genuine shiver down your spine. the most you can see of him; and by proxy, your audience, is a hard-edged jawline and scalding muscle that makes him look legendary. you're sure some wayward poet has written about him. jisung mirrors everything they stand for: strength, mystery and hypnotically good looks.

one of his hands wraps around your ankle, folding your leg in on itself, while the other prods at your wet, warm cunt. your head is dizzy as your sex flutters around his gentle touch — the pads of his fingers collect the slick pooling at your entrance and smear your slit, dragging it down until his fingers brush against your clit. you jerk at the sensation, cooling air on your searingly warm, throbbing cunt. jisung's middle finger finally, finally aides some relief to the white hot pain of neglect that burrows deep within your gut. experimentally, he lets his finger sink deeper into your sex until you feel the knuckles of his index and ring fingers prod at both sides of your cunt.

you struggle to catch your breath as you grow accustomed to the ascending feeling of having some part of jisung as close as you crave it. you tremble and sob into the mattress when he slips his finger out of you and into his mouth, it's audibly vulgar and he's audibly enjoying it. your fingers curl into the sheets and you let out a needy, impatient whine to urge him to touch you once more.

it's surprising when you feel jisung cup the curve of your ass and the swell of your hip in one greedy handful, and slides you onto his hard, delicious cock that soaks up every feeling of loneliness and neglect that was once nestled deep within your sex. the moan that spills out of you pours into the air, your lungs already taking a breathless gulp of air as you cry and wriggle under jisung's grip, your back arching in a desperate attempt to meet his cruelly slow pace. his touch burns into your skin that it's almost archaic. it sends you into a furore of passion, and even sex-mad you think jisung to be lovely. even as he beds you, and rolls his hips deliciously into the globe of your ass and brushes his cock head against your silky warm sex, you still swoon over the way he coos praise at you and lets breathless sighs flutter out from his heart shaped, pink lips.

slowly but surely, like a newborn calf gaining its balance, jisung sheds his coyness. he fucks you, truly fucks you, your arms pinned by him and therefore unable to escape him, and the force of his thrusts scratches that itch inside of you just right. the camera captures your body following the momentum of his thrusts and the way jisung's head tilts back, his throat exposed and his cock quickly gaining both speed and force to bully itself inside of your cunt, sculpting his hips against your skin. you want him to touch you until his palms burn, you want to be tangled and pressed against him so tightly that you cannot remember the feeling of want.

the rippling squeeze of you around him is too good to be real, jisung decides. he's sure he has made you up in a dream. his hand dips under your shoulders to hoist you up, your back arched and your head, like his, tilted back. "y'fuck me so well," you mutter out, your voice raspy from the never-ending onslaught of whimpers and moans and cries. "gonna come, ji." you grin, eyes fluttering closed and lips parting, brows furrowing as you lose yourself in the heavenly sensations jisung generously bestows upon you.

jisung, so mesmerised by the show you've put on for him, cups the dip of your back, nestles his face in the side of your neck and just loses it. his cock is so deep inside of your cunt that you're sure you can never be un-loved by him. the donations and comments flood in, making the need, the chase: the rush to finish come faster and faster. knowing thousands of people were mesmerised by you and jisung that it made his ego swell — and his thrusts adapt to an even more frenzied, brutal pace. you're unsure how you're able to keep up with his energy. jisung's libido is truly all consuming; he had your breasts bouncing and your moans stuttering with each dig of his swollen tip into your hot, drooling cunt.

your sweat tacked skin sticks to jisung: even your bodies were in agreement when your minds thought you wanted to fade into each other. and yet, you were each other's to tame. no part of you was free from jisung. he had claimed every inch of you, body and soul, you were bewitched by him.

you crumble onto him, your vision so blurred you can barely make out the fuzzy sight of the camera repeating the view of jisung fucking you. regardless, it shakes and trembles from the force used by jisung to fuck himself into your sex. the hot, wet silk of your cunt clamps around jisung in quick, frantic bursts of energy, and you sob through your entire orgasm. jisung kisses the edge of your jaw and strokes your side, all the while maintaining his brutally needy pace that made a mess of the both of you, your cum oozing out of him in episodes, and settling in a ring around the base of jisung's cock.

neither of you are sure this feeling can be achieved on earth, and as jisung's thighs finally tense and his hips stutter and a searing heat spreads throughout his body, you're sure you hear his body weep i love you, i love you, i love you, over and over until jisung's chest heaves with breath and your ears stop ringing.

as the both of you regain yourselves in waves, you realise the camera is still recording. you dutifully thank everyone for the tips, comments and for tuning in, and quickly end the session without a second thought.

jisung's eyes search yours for confirmation, and when you nod, his lips morph into a shy grin, his cheeks rosy and his skin shiny from his efforts. both of his hands cup your cheeks, his warmth seeps into your hazy, obsessive mind through the palms of his hands, and with as much tenderness one would summon to cradle a tiny, flushed baby, jisung presses his soft, soft lips onto yours.

with a hum of approval, he parts, and you're once more face to face with his big, round brown eyes, that holds everything your soul yearns for. "i have a free day next thursday. part two? we could spend the whole day planning..."

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minho-hoho · 1 year

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Stray Kids's maknae line reaction when they think you left them

Hyung Line

GENRE - angst with a fluffy ending

PAIRING - bf!skz x gn!reader

WARNING - cursing, crying

REQUESTED - yes

WC - 1.7k

NOTE - since it's a part two I re-used the intro, hope it's fine for y'all!!

MASTERLIST

Intro

It was supposedly a normal day. You came home earlier than your boyfriend like usual and you were just patiently waiting for him to come home as you knew how intense his job could be, you didn’t hold it against him, after all it was his dream and you were doing your best to support him.

All you asked for was for him to be open with you. After all, it wasn’t like you started dating a few weeks ago. It has already been a few years, and you truly valued openness as it was an essential thing to have in a relationship or to understand each other and help each other more effectively.

Unfortunately, your boyfriend had a tendency to not tell you about the things that bothered him, especially when it was because of work. He didn’t want to burden you. It felt as if he was ungrateful for his dream job by complaining about it especially when you were his number one supporter.

It has already been a week since he had been in a bad mood and to avoid taking it out on you, your boyfriend has been distant and cold to you. You were tired of seeing him like this, it upsetted you. You wanted him to be happy and to help him and recomfort him if he needed, but he was being completely silent or just assured that everything was fine when it was clear it wasn’t.

Today was the day you had enough of his attitude. You pressured him to explain himself, that you only wanted the best for him. He was already pissed off by what happened during the week and you pestering him was the vase that broke the camel’s back. Something in him lighted up, and now the two fo you were arguing late at night. And unfortunately, you both said things you didn’t mean.

The argument had to take a stop when the neighbours had enough of your bickering. Your boyfriend went to take a shower, and you couldn’t stand being in the same house as him for the moment and you decided to leave until you cooled down. You weren’t sure how much time you were going to leave, if you were coming back later that night or if you were going to a hotel or a friend’s house, but what you did know was that you absolutely needed the fresh air and to think about what happened.

Your boyfriend was so upset he didn’t even notice that you left in the first place. It was only when he was done dressing up and that he was searching for you that he noticed that you weren’t here anymore. Because of the anger, he didn’t bother searching for you longer, thinking that you’d be back later and that he’d find you in bed the following morning.

Unfortunately for him, when he woke he couldn’t find you anywhere in the morning.

HWANG HYUNJIN 황 현진

Hyunjin didn't waste a single second before getting dressed and ready in case he needed to look out for you.

He took his phone in his hands and started calmly dialing your number. He was sure to get you on the other side of line and didn't worry too much. He trusted you to be somewhere safe. But as soon as he dialed the number, he got the voice box. He tried calling a few times again but to no avail. He started to get worried, but still tried his best to keep his calm. He started to call your closest friends in hopes of finding you.

After a few calls, he managed to get a hold of you when one of your friends answered one of his calls and told him that you were in fact with them. A huge wave of relief took over his body and he immediately came to pick you up. He couldn't help but be filled with guilt on his way, it went all too far. He couldn't help but think about what if you really left him.

Fortunately for him, when you opened him the door you didn't hesitate to hug him, knowing his distress from earlier.

“Let's not argue like this. Ever again.” He agreed feeling emotional.

HAN JISUNG 한 지성

Panic quickly took over his body when he noticed your absence. He frantically looked at every single corner of the house all while furiously hitting his phone's keyboard to call you. Jisung kept cursing under his breath as none of the calls went through. As he looked through his contacts to see who might have seen you, he couldn't help but think about what if you didn't love him anymore, what if you left him for good? Did he just ruin his perfect relationship? He hated the thought of a life, a future without you, yet it was all he could think about. Negative thoughts ran through his mind, and he could feel the hot tears on the verge of falling.

Despite his troubled state, Jisung ran out of the house in hopes of finding you somewhere and redeem himself to you. To apologise for the bad he caused.

He found you walking near a park, he rushed to your side and hugged you. He couldn't even mutter a word and let his tears flow on your shoulder. You were quite startled but you felt bad for making him feel this way. You both didn't say anything. But you both knew how bad and sorry the other felt and it was enough at the moment.

LEE FELIX 이 필릭스

His face dropped when he saw you weren't there, laying next to him. Despite the fear, he tried calming himself down and looked for for you. He already felt bad for what happened the previous night and had already planned on making it up to you in the morning, but had he messed up so much that you even had to leave?

He tried calling you a few times, but stopped quickly realising he wasn't going to get any response from you. Felix didn't want you to get even madder at him by spamming you. He knew you'd come back soon eventually, he trusted you.

He decided to use the best of his baking abilities and bake your favourite cookies of his in hopes of at least putting a small smile on your face when you'd come back.

He spent about 3 hours using his skills the best way he could. When he finished his cookies, Felix decided to check on the time and started to worry again seeing you still were not there. He wanted to go outside look for you and even buy something to surprise you even more, but he wanted to be there once you'd have showed up. He didn't have to wait much longer before hearing the front door open. He immediately ran to you and hugged you, the tears he tried suppressing threatening to spill any time now.

Felix apologised profusely, or at least tried to through his sobs. You both calmed down after a while and he lead you to the table where the cookies were and you both enjoyed them, muttering some sorries in between.

KIM SEUNGMIN 김 승민

He sighed deeply before taking his car keys in his hands. “Shit... I fucked up really badly this time...” He sighed once again before heading outside. He entered his car and drived around to see if he could find you wandering in the streets. He started to get worried when he couldn't find you after an hour of driving. He had to stop driving as he was scared that the panic he was having would affect his driving. He went to sit down in a coffee shop to try and calm down.

Seungmin anxiously sipped on his coffee as he thought about what he should do next. He grabbed his phone and tried dialing your number, but to no one's surprise, you didn't answer. He tightened his right fist as he regretted everything he did that led to you leaving.

He looked around the coffee shop, perhaps he could find one of your friends or anyone that could know your whereabouts; but instead his eyes landed on your figure, ordering something at the counter.

Seungmin could feel his heart do somersaults as relief filled him. He immediately sat up and went to you, not wanting to lose you once again.

“Y/N...” he said, his voice barely above a whisper but still loud enough for you to catch him.

“I'm sorry, please let's talk...” was all he could say, feeling his voice crack.

You felt bad seeing him so affected, but you still reluctantly answered him, “I'll get my order, then we can go home.” he nodded before shyly holding your hand.

YANG JEONGIN 양 정인

Too stubborn, it took him a while to notice your absence. But even though he was particularly stubborn and didn't want to apologise first, his worries kept on increasing. His appetite was cut short as he thought about your whereabouts.

He swallowed his pride and dialed your number. Jeongin anxiously bit his lower lips, hoping to hear your voice on the other side of the line. But all he could hear was your voicemail. He hung up, and walked in circles in the living room wondering if he should look out for you or just wait for you to come home.

He decided that staying home was a better idea. Jeongin nervously fidgeted with anything his hand came in contact with, and every so often his eyes darted to look at the ticking clock.

It had already been a few hours, so he sent you messages apologising sincerely, in the hopes of you at least reading them. After hitting the send button he put his phone aside and went to take a shower to relax and calm himself down.

Just as he finished, he saw your sitting figure, head hung low. His eyes opened wide as a wave of emotions came over him.

As soon as he regained his composure, Jeongin rushed to your side and hugged you tightly, not wanting you to disappear once again. You did the same, you had missed him and truly hated how your argument had escalated.

No words were shared and only quiet sobs were to be heard, but you both knew how the other felt and it was enough for you two.

PERM TAG LIST! : @stacey-stonem, @sh1mzu, @axartia, @echantedrose, @leeknowbuttsmasher, @nikipedia07, @deafeningballoonnacho, @sristsblog

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writerblock-sucks · 1 year

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( 🎻 ) … faith songs on skz-replay album

authors note : break down on songs and m/v coming soon

layout by @skz-bibi and @skz-angel

✰︎ … NEW SONGS

004. yoga ft. hyunjin

lyrics by : faith, 현진

composed by : faith, 한 (3racha)

arranged by : faith, bangchan (3racha)

003. mr. incredible

lyrics by : faith

composed by : faith

arranged by : faith

✰︎ … PREVIOUSLY-RELEASED SKZ RECORDS

001. mrs. potato head

lyrics by : faith

composed by : faith

arranged by : faith, changbin (3racha)

002. boys will be boys

lyrics by : faith

composed by : faith

arranged by : faith, 지성 (3racha)

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dreamer-hangugeo · 1 year

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𝐊𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫: V-다 보니 ✏️𝐔𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 This expression is used to indicate that the speaker learned something new after doing some action or behavior continuously from some time in the past, or that a certain situation has occurred as a result of that behavior. E.g. 한국에 와서 김치를 먹다 보니 이제는 김치 없으면 밥을 못 먹어요. (After eating kimchi frequently in Korea, I can't eat rice without kimchi now.) ✏️ 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞 (1) 다 of -다 보니 is the shortened form of -다가, which refers to something occurring in the middle of a continuous action, and -보니 is the shortened form of the combination of the verb 보다 và -(으)니까, which refers to a discovery or result. Therefore, the form -다가 보니까 and -다 보니까 can be used with the same meaning. E.g. 일하다 보니 어느새 오후 7시가 넘었더라고요. = 일하다가 보니까 어느새 오후 7시가 넘었더라고요. = 일하다 보니까 어느새 오후 7시가 넘었더라고요. (While I keep working, I just realize that it was over 7pm.) (2) When adjective or 이다 comes before -다 보니, the preceding clause indicates the reason or cause of the event or action in the following clause. E.g. Noun + 이다: 대통령은 한 나라의 대표이다 보니 경호하는 사람들이 많을 수밖에 없어요. (Since the president is the representative of a country, it is unavoidable that he or she will be heavily guarded by many people.) Adjective: 그 일이 워낙 중요하다 보니 혼자 결정할 수 없었어요. (Because it was in fact an important matter, I couldn't decide by myself.) (3) The grammar -다 보니 can be combined with the grammar -게 되다 or - 아/어지다 to express that after doing something repeatedly/continuously, you become or in a certain state as the result. E.g. - V-다 보니 V- 게 되다 저는 열심히 공부하다 보니 한국어를 잘하게 됐어요. (I studied hard and ended up being able to speak Korean well) - V-다 보니 Adj - 아/어지다 매일 공원에서 운동하다 보니 건강해졌어요. (As I worked out at the park every day, my health was gotten better.) (4) -다 보니 is that it is used to indicate repeated and continuing behaviors, hence, it is often used with adverbs of repetition such as 계속 (continuously), 꾸준히 (steadily), 항상 (always), 자주 (often), 매일 (every day)… (5) Please note that as the result was already completed, the following clause must be in past or present tenses. ✏️ 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 Attach -다 보니to the root of a verb in the present tense. Verb + -다 보니: 가다 → 가다 보니 먹다→ 먹다 보니 살다 → 살다 보니 ✏️ 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐄𝐱𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐬 1. 집이 엉망이구나. - 혼자 살다 보니 집 정리를 잘 안 하게 돼요. (This house is a mess. - While living alone, I can't clean up often.) 2. 민아 씨는 지성 씨를 싫어하지 않았어요? - 처음엔 싫어했는데 매일 같이 일하다 보니 앤디 씨의 좋은 점이 보이더라고요. (Mina, don't you dislike Jisung? - I didn't like him at first, but after working with him together every day, I have come to see his good points.) 3. 마라톤이 힘들지 않아요? - 힘들지만 계속 달리다 보니 적응이 되었어요. (Isn't it hard to run a marathon? - It's hard, but because I kept running, I got used to it.) 4. 왜 직장을 그만뒀어요? - 너무 오래 같은 일을 하다 보니 지겨워져서 다른 일을 해 보려고요. (Why did you quit your job? I've been doing the same thing for so long that I'm tired of it, so I'm going to try something else.) 5. 경제 신문을 ��일 읽다 보니 자연스럽게 경제에 대해 잘 알게 되었어요. (As I read the economics newspaper every day, I naturally got to know about the economy well.)

---

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#한국어 #한국어능력시험 #한국어 배우기 #한국어 어휘 #한국어 연습 #Korean Language #Korean Grammar #한국어공부 #한국어공부중 #한국어공부해요 #한국어공부하기 #한국어문법 #한국어 문법 #Cause and Effect

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exile2nd · 7 months

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'상실의 시대' '1Q84' '해변의 카프카' 등으로 대표되는 하루키 소설의 매력은 뭘까. 도대체 어떤 '끌림'이 있길래 전 세계 청춘과 평자들이 하루키 소설에 열광하는 걸까. 필자는 우연히 몇 달 전 출간된 '하루키씨를 조심하세요'(바다출판사)를 읽다가 흥미로운 단서를 발견했다. 일본의 사상가인 우치다 타츠루는 이 책에서 "하루키 월드에는 아버지가 없다"는 말로 하루키 문학의 특성을 간파한다.

여기서 '아버지'는 모든 기존 질서와 시스템을 상징한다. 전통이나 관습일 수도 있고, 민족이나 역사일 수도 있다. 또한 현실적으로는 가이드라인이거나 지도(地圖)일 수도 있고, 강령이나 행동방식일 수도 있다.

하루키 소설의 주인공들은 이 모든 '아버지'로부터 벗어나 흡사 진공상태에 있는 것처럼 행동한다. 과거에 대한 어떤 부채 의식이나 책임을 느끼지 않는다. 국기 게양 장면을 희화하고, 올림픽은 시들하며, 국가나 민족은 새털처럼 가벼울 뿐이다. 절교하자는 단짝 친구에게 이유를 따져 묻지 않고, 존경하는 스승이나 멘토는 한 명도 소설에 등장하지 않는다.

하루키가 첫 소설을 발표했을 때 사람들이 받았던 충격을 기억한다.

이전 소설들이 목숨처럼 끌어안고 있던 것들을 하루키는 하루아침에 내다 버렸다. 민족과 이념, 옳고 그름의 가치판단, 교과서적인 사랑과 우정. 이런 것이 하루키 소설 안에서는 파편처럼 녹아내렸다. 그의 소설 '상실의 시대'에서 주인공 와타나베는 이런 말을 한다.

"내가 해야 할 일은 하나밖에 없었다. 모든 사물을 심각하게 생각하지 말 것. 모든 사물과 나 자신 사이에 적당한 거리를 둘 것."

#허연 #책과 지성 #허연의 책과 지성 #무라카미 하루키

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iamkenlee-blog · 1 year

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함흉발배

지성, 감성, 신체 능력 등 여러 가지 면에서 나란 존재는 참으로 평균값을 타고난 듯. 몸공부에 있어서도 내가 만난 극단적 몸치만큼은 아니지만, ��상엔 나보다 운동 엄청 잘하는 사람들이 수두룩하다. 일례로 운동 잘하는 인간에겐 별것도 아닌 두손 물구나무서기를 여전히 못 하는 점이 그렇다. 무게중심(=하단전=파워하우스)을 처음 각성한 것도 매우 더뎠다. 정확한 날짜까진 모르지만 2007년 어느 날인 건 분명하다. 몸공부 시작하고 12~13년 만이다.

2005년 출판한 '그 남자의 무술 이야기'라는 에세이집은 진짜 뭣도 모르는 상태에서 막 써 갈긴 책이다. 뒤이어 몸 단련하는 원리를 정리하고자 이 궁리 저 궁리를 해 봤지만 안개 속을 헤매듯 도무지 맘에 드는 글을 쓸 수 없었다. 2007년 무렵 최초 각성을 하고 나서야 뒤죽박죽이었던 것들을 오뎅 꼬치 꿰듯 꿸 수 있었고, 그동안 써 놓은 원고를 폐기하고 처음부터 다시 써서 마침내 2년 뒤 2009년 '그 남자의 몸만들기'란 책을 낼 수 있었다. 그러고 나니 책에 쓴 내용대로 사람들에게 운동을 지도해보고 싶은 마음이 생겼다. 이듬해 종로구 명륜동에 작은 공간을 개설했다. 2년간 사람들을 지도해 본 뒤 적자내고 문 닫았다. 콘텐츠도 특이한데다 나 자신 고지식하고 융통성이 없다 보니 망할만 했다. 하지만 망해봤기 때문에 더 이상 누굴 지도해 보고 싶단 욕망이나 미련 없이 홀로 가고 싶은 길 따라 오늘까지 왔다. 소소하게나마 성과가 없지는 않았다. 내 책을 읽고 공감해 찾아온 극소수 사람들을 지도하는 과정에서 자칭 '명상적 걷기' 원리를 정리해 2012년 세번 째 책을 씀.

'명상적 걷기' 책을 요약하면, (1) 무게중심 각성 (2) 운(運) (3) 동(動)이다. '운(運) = 작용/반작용'이다. 내 무게중심이 지구중심을 향해 작용을 가했을 때 되돌아오는 반작용을 이용해 척추가 저절로 바로 서는 것이다. 이때 척추는 마치 반도네온 풀무처럼 닫히고(=작용) 늘어나고(=반작용)를 반복한다. 굉장히 미세한 느낌이기 때문에 평소에는 잘 못 느낀다. 바로 이 대목이 태극권 수련의 특장점으로, 느리게 움직임으로써 그 어떤 수련법보다 관절의 수축과 이완을 잘 느끼도록 도와준다. (=내가 태극권을 못 버리는 이유)

'운' 없는 '동'은 배를 물에 띄우지 않은 채 움직이려고 하는 것과 같다. 유감스럽게도 대다수 사람들이 '운' 없이 '동' 한다. 하지만 "운한 뒤에 동해야 합니다"라고 말한다고 즉시 되는 경우는 못 봤다. 그래서 무게중심 각성이 우선돼야 하는 것이다. 사실 각성을 하고 안 하고의 차이는 종이 한 장 차이다. 하지만 운동 천재가 아닌 보통 사람의 경우 그 종이 한 장 따라잡는 데 십 년 걸린다. 각성은 한 번으로 끝나는 게 아니고 성실하게 수련하면 소소하지만 계속 일어난다. 그런 게 시나브로 쌓이고 쌓여 십 년마다 '종이 한 장 차이'를 만드는 것이다. 무협지 아닌 무술에서의 '내공'이란 결국 운(運)을 얼마나 깊은 수준에서 체험했느냐라고 해도 과언은 아니다.

'동(動) = 낙하와 회복'이다. 한 발에서 다른 발로 무게중심을 이동할 때 자유낙하 운동을 이용하는 것이다. 체중을 한 발에 실은 뒤 내가 움직이고자 하는 방향으로 몸통을 기울이면 저절로 낙하(=Fall)가 일어나 다른 발로 체중이 이동하고, 이동한 직후 작용/반작용에 의한 반동(=Rebound)이 일어나 몸은 스스로 또 다른 낙하를 할 수 있는 상태로 회복(=Recovery) 한다. 이를 반복하는 것이 '걷기'다.

지금은 어느새 2023년. 2007년 최초 각성(=하단전 각성) 후 16년이 흘렀다. 그동안에도 몸공부를 꾸준히 했으니 나 자신은 잘 못 느끼더라도 종이 한 장을 또 더해 아마도 두 장쯤 쌓였을 거로 기대한다. 사실은 2~3년 전부터 내 몸공부가 새로운 단계로 진입한 게 아닐까 느끼고 있다. 하단전 각성 다음 순서는 당연히 중단전 각성이다. 물론 그동안 중단전의 중요성을 인지하고는 있었으나 긴가민가 어렴풋한 부분이 많았다면 지금은 그런 부분들이 조금씩이지만 하나, 둘 해결 기미를 보이고 있는 거. 이 시기에 하필 벨리 댄스 수업 들을 기회가 생겼다는 게 개인적으론 운명의 장난(?)처럼 느껴지기도 한다. 흔한 표현으로 "뜻이 있는 곳에 길이 있다"더니 땅고 바닥에서 벨리 댄스 선생님을 만나 도움을 받게 될 줄은 몰랐다. (나는 돈 버는 재미보다 이런 거에서 사는 재미를 느낌. 빼박 한량.) 평소 주변 사람들에게 기회가 될 때마다 "여자가 역도를 하고, 남자는 요가를 해야 한다"고 말하고 다닌다. 일반적으로 여자는 힘이 딸리고, 남자는 유연성이 딸리기 때문에 각자 단점을 보완하는 운동을 해야지만, 강함과 부드러움을 겸비한 '질긴 몸'을 만들 수 있다. 같은 논리로 벨리 댄스 역시 남자, 특히 나 같은 중년남에겐 (약간 과장에서) 산삼만큼 좋은 거 같다. 내가 꾸준히 요가 수련을 했음에도 불구하고 40대 중반을 넘기며 척추 유연성이 예전 같지 않음을 실감한다. 경험이 짧아 단언은 못하지만 벨리 댄스는 요가만으론 해결 못 하는 부분을 보완해 주는 거 같다. 다른 글에 이미 썼듯, 중단전 각성 방편으로는 말할 것도 없다. 내 입장에서 벨리 댄스의 유일한 단점은 여성성이 너무 강하다는 것 뿐, 수업 자체는 매번 흥미롭고 재밌다.

중국 무술 용어 중에 함흉발배(含胸拔背)라는 게 있다. 가슴을 오목하게 하고(=함흉), 등을 펴는 것(=발배)이다. 둘은 별개가 아니고 발배를 하면(=등을 펴면) 저절로 함흉이 된다.(=가슴이 들어간다) 용어 자체는 생소하겠지만, 땅고 아브라쏘 비결이 함흉발배다. 또 영화 '맹룡과강' 중 이소룡이 발코니에서 보인 등날개 펴기도 그렇다. 함흉발배를 모르면 몸힘(=勁)이 나오질 않는다.

국궁에는 비정비팔(非丁非八)이란 말이 있다. 활을 쏠 때 발 모양을 정(丁)도 아니고 팔(八)도 아닌 위치에 놓으라는 의미. 궁금해서 활쏘기 자세를 따라 해 보니 비정비팔이 함흉발배를 만드는 요령이었다. 알고 보면 당연하다. 몸힘을 쓸 줄 모르면 활시위를 당길 수 없고, 활시위를 당기려면 반드시 함흉발배를 만들어야만 하니까. 깜짝 놀랐던 거는, 한국 전통 무용 관련 책과 자료를 검색하던 중에 이매방류 춤 기법을 정리한 글에서 전혀 뜻밖으로 비정비팔이란 용어를 발견했다. 무술과 춤은 형태만 다를 뿐 본질을 공유한다는 증거를 또 하나 찾은 거.

그런데 함흉발배에는 함정이 있다. 무술과 춤 포함 모든 수련은 크게 체(體=몸만들기)와 용(用=몸쓰기)으로 나눌 수 있다. 함흉발배는 용(用)에 해당하는 비결이고, 체(體)을 기를 땐 반대로 발흉함배를 해야 한다. 그래야지만 안전하고, 나아가 함흉발배에 꼭 필요한 등근육을 기를 수 있다. 내가 해본 단련법 중에선 오버헤드 스콰트(Overhead Squat)가 이상적이고, 맨몸 단련 중에선 힌두 푸시업(Hindu Push Up)이 최고다. (몇달 전부터 한손 푸시업에 맛들려 약간 흔들리고 있긴 하지만...)

국궁에서 쓰는 각궁은 평소엔 '부린 활' 상태로 놓았다가 이를 반대로 뒤집어 '얹은 활'로 만들어야 화살을 쏠 수 있다. 함흉발배 원리도 이와 같아서, 우선 발흉함배를 만든 후 이를 뒤집어 함흉발배로 만들어야 한다. '중단전'이 발흉함배를 함흉발배로 만들 때 핵심이다. 이것이 중단전의 기초이고, 이 토대를 완성한 후 비로소 하단전 + 중단전을 써서 나오는 몸힘인 전사경(纏絲勁) 단계로 진입한다. 이 당연지사를 몰랐다가 2~3년 전에 새삼 깨달음. 그전까지 함흉발배는 잘 알고 있다고 착각했다.

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amara-mars · 1 year

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Stray Kids Maknae line reaction to unexpected pets

Hyung ver.

pairing: maknae line x reader

genre: smau, idol au, humor, overall fluff

warnings: pet names, pregnancy scare but not really, reader calls hyunjin a slag (deserved)

notes: Comments and Reblogs are vv welcome!! enjoy! <3

More After The Cut

Jisung ( 한 지성 )

Felix ( 이 용복 )

Seungmin ( 김 승민 )

Jeongin ( 양 정인 )

Taglist

@sunnibearr

#stray kids imagines #stray kids fanfic #stray kids #stray kids au #stray kids fics #stray kids fluff #stray kids headcanons #stray kids reactions #stray kids ot8 x reader #han jisung #kim seungmin #lee felix #yang jeongin

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kbigstar · 6 days

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[라엘리안 보도자료] 천재와 정치인, 누가 더 통치할 자격이 있나요?

> 라엘리안 보도자료 2024(AH78)4.24

천재와 정치인,

누가 더 통치할 자격이 있나요?

-라엘리안‘천재정치’강연회…4월 27일(토) 오후 2~4시 온라인 줌 통해

-“높은 지성과 양식의‘천재’들에게 정치를 맡기자!”촉구

최근 치러진 22대 총선에서 선출된 국회의원들은 과연 우리 사회의 앞 날을 예견하고 온갖 난제들을 해결할 만큼 충분한 높은 지성과 양식을 지닌 천재들일까? 경제 규모는 비약적으로 확대됐음에도 왜 국민들의 삶은 갈수록 팍팍하고 더 나아지지 않는 걸까?

인류의 기원과 직결된 외계문명(ET) 엘로힘(Elohim : 고대 히브리어로 ‘하늘에서 온 사람들’이란 뜻)의 메시지를 전하는 한국 라엘리안 무브먼트(www.rael.org/ko 대표 오승준)가 이런 의문에 응답하기 위해 오는 4월 27일(토요일) 오후 2시부터 4시까지 새로운 정치 사회 시스템‘천재정치’를 알리는 온라인 강연회를 개최한다.

강연에 참가하려는 희망자들은 누구나 비용 부담 없이 온라인 줌(Zoom)에 접속해 <https://zoom.us/j/5618619165 (비번 0806)>를 링크해 클릭하면 된다.[아래 ‘강연 참가방법’ 참조]

이번 강연은 국제 라엘리안 무브먼트의 창시자인 예언자 라엘(Rael)이 외계인 엘로힘 행성에서 활짝 꽃을 피운 정치제도를 기술한 그의 저서 <천재정치(The Geniocracy)/ 무료 다운로드->https://www.rael.org/ko/ebook/geniocracy/>;를 바탕으로 진행된다.

특히 이 책에서 언급하는‘통치’란 앞으로 인류에게 닥칠 여러 문제들을 과학적으로 미리 예측해 해결하는 것으로, 학위나 각종 자격증의 수, 양떼와 같은 대중의 반응을 따르는 것이 아닌 인류 전체를 위한 통찰과 상상력, 문제해결 능력, 통합/융합적 사고와 같은 높은 지성(知性)과 양식(良識)을 소유한 뛰어난 천재들에게 정치를 맡김으로써 고질적인 리더십 문제를 근본적으로 종결하는 통치 시스템으로 요약된다.

실제로 예언자 라엘은 <천재정치(도서출판 메신저 간행>에서“통치한다는 것은 앞을 내다보는 것인데, 아무 것도 내다볼 수 없어 양떼와 같은 민중들의 반응이나 쫒는 위정자는 통치자로서 능력이 없다. 그것은 그들이 민주주의적으로 선출돼 그 지위에 올랐기 때문”��라며“전면적인 민주주의는 선거인의 지성이라는 것을 전혀 고려에 넣고 있지 않다”고 지적한다. 그러면서 “거기에서 한 사람의 아인쉬타인의 목소리는 우둔한 무리의 목소리에 당할 수 없다. 왜냐하면 아인쉬타인보다는 우둔한 무리 쪽 사람 수가 훨씬 더 많기 때문이다. 즉 우리는 우둔한 독재 밑에 놓여 있는 것이고, 이러한 독재가 가져오는 결과는 우리 주위를 둘러보는 것만으로도 충분하다”고 단언한다.

한국 라엘리안 무브먼트는 이번 강연을 통해 사회의 온갖 난제들을 명쾌하게 풀고 모든 사람들의 삶을 보다 윤택하고 행복하게 할 수 있는 근본적인 해결책으로서의 천재정치 도입을 적극 검토하고 시행할 것을 촉구할 예정이다.

먼저 강연 1부에서는 평균 수준의 지성을 가진 일반인이 선출한 정치인은 평균 수준의 지성을 대표할 수밖에 없는 현재의 평균적 민주주의와 일정 수준 이상의 높은 지성을 가진 일반인이 매우 높은 지성을 가진 천재들을 정치인으로 선출하는 선택적 민주주의인 천재정치와의 차이점을 비교해 보여준다. 이어 강연 2부에서는 평균보다 50% 이상 높은 지성(종합지성지수)과 인류애에 기초한 양심을 가진 천재들을 선출하는 구체적 방법론과 함께, 이들 천재들이 세계의 난제들을 해결하고 인류에게 헌신적으로 봉사하는 정치형태에 대해 자세히 설명한다.

강연 3부에서는 천재정치가 가져다줄 구체적인 효과로, 전자로봇과 생물로봇에 의한 노동력의 대체, 화폐제도의 폐지, 사람들의 행복과 의식적 각성을 돕는 개화센터 건립, 급속도로 진보하는 과학기술과 여론의 균형잡힌 정보 전달과 자유의 존중, 물질의 풍요와 정신성이 조화를 이루는 황금시대 도래 등을 차례로 소개한다. 마지막으로 사회 각 분야에 종사하는 시민패널과의 대화를 통해 현 대중 민주주의의 한계점과 이를 대체할 새로운 천재정치의 비전에 대해 토론하는 시간을 갖는다.

이번 강연을 기획한 한국 라엘리안 무브먼트 과학팀 관계자는 “천재정치의 기본 원리는 모든 사람을 대상으로 순수 지성을 측정하는 과학적 테스트를 실시해 지성이 평균보다 10% 이상 높은 사람들에게만 선거권을 부여하고, 지성이 평균보다 50% 이상 높은 천재들에게만 피선거권을 부여하는 것이다. 전체 인구별 지성 분포도를 수학에서 중앙 평균값을 기준으로 좌우대칭 종 모양을 이루는‘가우스 곡선’에 적용해 보면 왜 천재정치를 하루속히 도입해야 하는지 금방 이해할 수 있게 된다<‘인구별 지성 분포 가우스 곡선’참조>”고 말한다. 이어“가장 지성적인 사람들이 통치자가 되는 것보다 더 바람직한 일은 없을 것이다. 지성 테스트는 일류 대학을 졸업했다든가 많은 자격증을 가졌다고 해서 더 혜택을 주어서는 안 된다. 이것은 농민이나 노동자, 기술자들 그리고 어떠한 사회계급, 인종, 성에 상관없이 모두에게 공정하고 편견없이 적용된다”고 덧붙인다.

한국 라엘리안 무브먼트는 이미 오래 전부터“역사적으로 뛰어난 상상력과 통찰로 주어진 문제들에 대한 새로운 해결책을 발견함으로써 사회를 진보시켜 왔지만 자신들의 진면목을 드러내 보일 기회를 갖지 못한 채 어리석은 통치자들에게 이용만 당해온 그룹, 바로 지성적인 천재들에게 권력을 맡겨야 할 때가 왔다. 그렇지 않으면 지성이 낮은 우둔한 지도자가 민주주의란 미명 아래 모든 사람들의 생존권과 길흉화복을 좌지우지하는 위험하고 고통스러운 상황이 지속될 수밖에 없을 것”이라고 일관되게 주장해 왔다.

“내일의 세계가 어떻게 될지 모르는 자들에게 어떻게 미래에 대한 결정을 맡기겠는가? 천재들이 인류의 처지를 개선하기 위해 봉사하고 헌신해온 반면, 어리석은 정치가들은 당선을 위해 공약을 남발하고 그것마저도 제대로 지키지 않는다. 누가 더 통치할 자격이 있는가? 우리 모두의 생존과 공동번영을 위해 인류의 가장 소중한 자원인 천재들을 활용할 수 있는 시간은 그리 많이 남아 있지 않다.”

※ <천재정치> 온라인 강연회 안내

○ 일시 : 4월 27일(토) 오후 2~4시

○ 참가방법 : 온라인 줌(Zoom) 참가

-> https://zoom.us/j/5618619165 (비번 0806)

○ 참가비 : 없음(누구나 참가 가능)

○ 강연 책자 ‘천재정치’ 무료 다운로드

○ 문의 이메일

[email protected]

> 한국 라엘리안 무브먼트 [email protected]

엘로힘 (Elohim)

기독교 성경에는 하느님으로 번역돼 있으나 원래 의미는 고대 히브리어로 "하늘에서 온 사람들"이란 복수형. 오래 전, 외계에서 빛 보다 훨씬 빠른 우주선(일명,UFO)을 타고 지구를 방문해 고도로 발전한 DNA합성기술로 실험실에서 지구상의 모든 생명체를 과학적으로 창조(지적설계)한, 다른 행성에서 온 인류의 창조자들을 의미한다. 엘로힘은 지구에 세워질 그들의 ◆대사관에 공식 귀환할 예정이다.

엘로힘의 모든 메시지는 한국에서 ◆지적설계 Intelligent Design (구 우주인의 메시지) 등으로 출판되어 있으며, www.rael.org 에서는 E-Book을 즉시 무료다운로드 할 수 있다.(스마트폰 이용시, 구글Play 스토어에서 '지적설계' 무료앱을 다운받을 수 있음)

라엘리안 무브먼트 (Raelian Movement)

지난 1973년과 1975년 엘로힘과 접촉한 '마지막 예언자' 라엘이 그들의 사랑과 평화의 메시지를 전하고 엘로힘을 맞이할 지구 대사관을 건립하기 위해 창설한 세계적인 비영리*무신론 종교단체로, 현재 전 세계 120여개국에 13만여 명의 회원들이 활동하고 있다.

우주인의 대사관

우주인 엘로힘의 메시지를 알리는 것과 더불어 라엘리안 무브먼트의 또 다른 사명은 창조자 엘로힘을 맞이할 대사관을 준비하고 마련하는 것입니다. 라엘리안 무브먼트는 여러 나라에 대사관 프로젝트 유치를 고려해 달라고 요청했으며, 그런 행운을 얻은 나라는 동시에 엘로힘의 특별한 보호를 누리며 다가올 천 년 동안 지구의 정신적, 과학적 중심지가 될 것입니다.

가상 대사관 투어 >> https://3dvisit.etembassy.org/

※참고 영상 : RaelTV 한국 “우리는 외계문명을 맞이할 준비가 돼 있나요?”

-제1탄 : It’s Time(때가 됐다)-They are here(그들은 여기에 있다)

youtube

-제2탄 : It’s Time-They are waiting(그들은 기다리고 있다)

youtube

-제3탄 : It’s Time-They are watching(그들은 지켜보고 있다)

youtube

-제4탄 : It’s Time-They are God(그들은 신이다)

youtube

-제5탄 : It’s Time-They sent Prophets(그들은 예언자들을 보냈다)

youtube

-제6탄 They are Ready(그들은 준비되었다)

youtube

AH (after Hiroshima) 연도

국제 라엘리안 무브먼트의 창설자이자, 그 정신적 지도자인 라엘은 기독교력이나 이슬람력, 불교력 등이 아닌 종교와 종파를 초월한 새로운 AH연도 사용을 유엔(UN)에 제안했다.

AH연도는 1945년 8월 6일 히로시마에 첫 번째 원자폭탄이 떨어진 날을 잊지 않기 위한 것으로, 오늘날 특히 유일신 종교로부터 비롯되고 있는 전쟁, 테러에서 벗어나 평화를 이루고자 하는 세계인의 염원을 담고 있다. 또한 원자에너지의 발견으로 이 엄청난 힘이 지구상의 모든 생명을 파괴할수 있을 뿐만 아니라 동시에 인류가 우주만물을 과학적으로 이해할 수 있는 아포칼립스시대(Apocalypse:진실이 밝혀지는 계시의 시대)로 들어섰음을 알린다는 의미도 있다. www.icacci.org

※라엘리안 ‘무한의 상징’에 대한 설명

youtube

RAEL.ORG / 보도자료 / 국제라엘리안뉴스 / 라엘아카데미 / 과학미륵 / 엘로힘리크스 / 다음카페

#라엘리안 #지적설계 #엘로힘 #지구대사관 #1분평화명상 #라엘 #라엘행복철학 #불사의행성 #ufo #천재정치 #Youtube

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coquettehoon · 3 months

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serendipity ⠀ ;⠀ stray⠀ kids ⠀ masterlist. ⠀ ⠀ back ⠀ to ⠀ main?

방 찬⠀ | ⠀ bang chan

current⠀ works⠀ ;⠀n/a

이 민호⠀ | ⠀ lee ⠀ minho

current⠀ works⠀ ;⠀n/a

서 창빈⠀ | ⠀ seo ⠀ changbin

current⠀ works⠀ ;⠀n/a

황 현진⠀ | ⠀ hwang ⠀ hyunjin

current⠀ works⠀ ;⠀n/a

한 지성⠀ | ⠀ han ⠀ jisung

current⠀ works⠀ ;⠀n/a

이 용복⠀ | ⠀ lee ⠀ yongbok

current⠀ works⠀ ;⠀n/a

김 승민⠀ | ⠀ kim ⠀ seungmin

current⠀ works⠀ ;⠀n/a

양 정인⠀ | ⠀ yang ⠀ jeongin

current⠀ works⠀ ;⠀n/a

#stray kids masterlist

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oldmanlanvincat · 4 months

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내가 어떤 기록과 행동에 대해 조심스러워졌던 계기는

몇 달 전에 학생으로 왔던 정신과 의사를 본 이후였던 것 같다.

이것도 처음 꺼내는 이야기이긴 하지만,

그녀는 내가 10년전 쯤, TV에서 봤던 유명한 스타의사였다

처음에 봤을 때는 정신과의인지 몰랐고, 그 사람인지도 몰랐으나

자신의 신분을 밝히고, 입시를 준비한다고 했을 때 그 사람이구나 하고 알아보았다

정신과 쪽은 풀이 좁아서 연차가 차면 거진 서로 아는 사이이고

그녀 역시 동업으로 하던 개업의였는데,

개업을 접고 입시를 준비한다고? 그러면 굉장한 신분 몰락이 아닌가?

쨌든간,

우리는 대충 서로의 신분을 확인하고 어떤 동질감에서였는지

만난 첫 날에 우리집에 가서 수업을 하기로 했다

사실 수업을 한 건 아니고,

같이 사는 얘기나 하고, 함께 수업을 하는 학생1에 대해서 분석하고 싶었던 것 같다. 그 학생이 워낙 특이한 구석이 있어서 평소에 나를 힘들게 했기 때문이었다

그러나 집에 도착하자 그 의사(나보다 8~9살 정도 위였다)는

자신의 이야기를 토로하기 시작했다

국시만 치른 연하의 남의사(개업의가 아닌) 를 만나서 결혼. 그 이후로 계속

남자 개업까지 뒷바라지를 해주다가 얼마 전 이혼을 했고

자신이 해주던 '카운셀링'의 대체가 필요한 '듯'한 전남편은 다른 정신과의 여자 후배와 만나는 듯 하다는 것이었다

그렇게 반짝반짝 빛나던, 티비에서 봤던 그 사람이 우리집 바닥에 앉아서

씨팔 저팔 찾으며 자기 이야기를 하는 모습을 보자 진짜 기분이 이상했고, 안타깝다는 생각이었다

특징적으로

그녀는 자신의 통찰력에 대해 굉장히 자신감을 보였다

진짜 능력은 아니었다.

그녀가 보여주는 통찰력이란 '다른 사람들이 상처받을까봐 굳이 하지 않는 말' 을 하면서 맞아떨어지는 부분이 있는 경우였다.

즉, 예의에 어긋나기 때문에 하지 않는 말을 굳이하며 상대방이 정곡을 찔릴 때 그것을 통찰력이라고 생각하고 있었다

그녀는 그 스킬을 다른 학생1에게 시전함으로써 어떤 부분에서 정곡을 찔린 학생1이 상처받아 했고

그러한 상황에서 자신의 통찰력을 계속해서 자랑하는 모습을 보며 나는 자기도착적이라고 느꼈다

한편 그녀는 자신의 이야기를 아주 오랫동안 했다. 특히 굉장히 안 좋은 기억에 대해서 털어놓았다

또한 내담자의 이야기를 함부로 하면 안되는 정신과 윤리에 대해서도 어기곤 했는데

자신의 내담자였던 연예인들의 이야기, 자살자들 이야기를 본명을 까면서 하곤 했다

어떤 자살자 연예인의 케이스가 본인 인생에서 가장 힘들었다며 털어 놓을 때 나는 그게 진심이 아니라고 느껴졌다

그런 부분에서 굉장히 히스테리컬하다는 생각이 들었다. 아무리

내담자가 자살을 했다고 해도, 스스로가 살아오며 크게 겪었을 고난보다 힘들었을리가 없었을텐데 말이다

그걸 지켜보며

아 이 분이 왜 이렇게 히스테리컬하고, 이혼을 했는지도 이해가 갈 것도 같았다. 원래 이정도 까지 이런 사람이 아니었는데 이혼으로 인해 갑자기 급하게 정신이 나간 것 같았는데 그게 이해가 갔던 것이다

그리고 나와 비슷한 부분들, 그녀의 어떤 미모나 지성 능력 같은 것들에서 나보다 그녀가 더 뛰어난 부분도 있겠지만 그런 것들에 대해서 돌아보게 되었던 것 같다

최초 이혼 사유는 남자의 여자문제가 아니었기 때문에 남자가 다른 여자를 만나는 것은 차치하고,

연상의 여자의 능력이 더 있어서, 남자가 개업하기까지 집도 남자가 원하는 단독주택으로 사고, 원하는 차를 사��고 하는 것 역시

나는 그것이 그렇게 바람직하다고 생각이 들지 않았다.

예전 같았다면 내가 어떤 사람을 좋아했다면 나는 경제적인 도움을 주고자 했을 것 같지만

그 결말이 과연 옳은가? 에 대해서 생각해본다면

나는 그게 아니라고 생각한다

이 사회에는 신화적인 문법이 존재하기 때문이다

뻔한 문구지만

'여자가 남자의 징후가 되어야 한다'는 것이다.

이걸 사회적이고, 상스럽고, 간단히 모두가 알아듣게 말하자면,

남자의 (대부분의)능력으로 단독주택을 사고, 차도 사주고 하는 것이 편하다는 것이다. 그게 모두에게 좋은 선택이라는 것이다

“외부의 우연한 사건에 의해 연결되는 커플은 처음에 사랑에 빠진 듯이 보이게 하며, 그 후 한 단계씩 외면적인 연결이 진정한 사랑으로 자란다.” 이건 앞에서 얘기된 ‘상징적 동일시의 변증법’을 다시 요약/반복하고 있는 대목인데, “사랑에 빠진 듯이 보이게 하며(first pretends to be in love)”는 좀 이상한 번역이다(pretend를 왜 ‘가장하다’라고 번역하지 않았을까?). “처음에는 사랑에 빠진 것처럼 서로 가장하지만”이란 뜻이다. 즉 가장(흉내)으로 시작했지만, 그것이 진정한 사랑으로 발전해간다는 것.

위의 글 처럼 우리는 대상을 마주하면 모두 사랑에 빠진 것처럼 가장하면서 사랑을 시작할 것이다

하지만 그것이 유지되기 위해서는 그 문법이 올바른 것이야 할 것이다.

하지만 커플의 경우에서 사회적으로 여자가 능력이 더 있다?

나는 여기에서 히스테리적 문제가 발생한다고 본다

그냥 겉에서 읽는 것으로만 보자면

여자가 능력이 있으면 남자도 그에 견주는 능력이 있으면 될 것 같고, 그게 아니면 성품, 외모, 자상함 같은게 있으면 될 것이라고 생각하지만

실은 그게 중요한 게 아니이고, 그 모든 것에서 발생하는, 그 모든 것을 아우르는 문제. 남녀 관계에서 가장 중요한 부분은 하나이다

남자가 히스테리컬한 여자에 대해 커버 할 줄 알아야 한다는 것이다

이것은 남자 본인이 자신의 히스테리를 제어할 줄 알아야 한다는 뜻이기도 하다.

나는 그걸 남자의 헌신이고, 능력이라고 본다

헌신이라고 하면 사람들이 무슨 돈 인생 다 바치는 거라고 생각하는데

그게 아니라 자신의 히스테리를 제어하는 것을 뜻한다.

그런데 그 부부의 경우

히스테리컬한 여자가 아내이자 남자의 상담자로 역할을 했고,

히스테리컬한 남자가 남편이자 내담자의 역할이었다

그리고

아내이자 동시에 어머니 역할도 하는 여자의 부양으로 연하의 남자가 개업을 하고, 생계를 이어왔다

그러면 그는 가부장의 역할을 할 수가 없다. 남편이 될 수도 없으며, 남자도 아니며, 그냥 몸 편하게는 살겠지만, 그것은 본인에게도 모욕이며, 자신의 아내에게도 모욕적인 일이 되어가는 것이다

그리고 무엇보다도 이 가정에서는 '아버지'의 역할을 여자가 하거나 부재로 남게된다

실제로 이 부부(의사 학생)는 보육원에서 아이를 입양했고, 그 아이가 '사이코'라는 문제로 파양하는 과정에서 이혼을 했다

아이가 아내를 괴롭힌다는 이유였는데, 남편은 그것을 방관했다. 역시 아버지 역할의 부재이다

'아버지'가 없는 것이다 이 집에는...

그 파양당한 애도 상처이고, (말을 듣자면 애가 무슨 오펀이나 오멘 수준이긴 한데)

그 언니의 말만 듣자면,

그 남자는 남편의 역할도, 아버지의 역할도 수행하지 못했고,

자신의 히스테리를 극복하지 못했으며

아내의 히스테리를 감내하지 못했고

자신의 삶을 사는 것에만 집중하고, 아내에게 양육되는 일종의 '아들'의 역할을 했던 것 같다

경제적인 부분이나 부부의 사이를 떠나서, 이렇게도 이혼이 가능하고, 사람의 관계가 무너진다. 제 역할을 못하면 이렇게 되는 것을 보았다는 얘기다. 그건, 남자가 자신의 역할을 못했다, 만의 이야기가 아니라

나는 여자가 자신의 역할을 넘어 너무 많은 것을 하려고 했을 경우의 이야기를 하고 있는 것이다

그래서 나는 그냥 걍 11시면 수면유도제 때리고

아침에 일찍 일어나서 갓생사는중

이게 바로 다음 구절이겠지?

그냥 지금은 포기 한 척 하는 거지

And the in the Lacanian sense is nothing but this withdrawal by means of which we renounce renunciation itself, becoming aware of the fact that we have nothing to lose in a loss. 오역이랄 건 없는데, 조금 풀어서 다시 번역하면, “라캉적 의미에서의 ‘행위’란 바로 이러한 물러남(철회)일 뿐인바, 어떤 상실 속에서 우리가 상실할 것이 더 이상 아무것도 없다는 사실을 깨닫게 되는 우리는 이 물러남을 통해서 포기라는 것 자체를 포기한다.”(포기할 게 없기 때문에.) 어느 쪽이든 자신이 더 잘 이해할 수 있으면 그만이다.

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