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flowerflowerflo · 3 months

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girl's guide to academic success: part 1 ⊹˚. ♡

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ organisation

first off, have something to organise ur academic life with! i personally use notion (which i'll add later) but u can use anything as long as it's cute, convenient, unique and accessible to you, your life and your schedule specifically. especially as a visual learner, i like to have somewhere i can dump literally everything regarding a singular area in my life, so i do this for almost everything along with school and i highly recommend this <3

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ recognition of talents & improvements

analyse your strengths and weaknesses. think back on tests, exams, marks, and analyse which ones you got highest and lowest on. dont beat urself up for it, obviously; it's just to check which subjects you're doing good in and which ones have room for improvement. for example i love science but im not the best at it sometimes and we had an assessment recently and i didn't get as high as i'd like so i wrote down a little list on a piece of paper in my pencilcase for the topics i got the least in for me to study on my own to practise later.

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ laying out goals

set down specific goals; i like to do this week by week accustomed to my schedule that week in my school notion page along with images and vision boards based on the term/semester, but you can do it for the week, the month, the year, anything as long as its helpful to you

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ productive planning

plan accordingly based on ur time energy. when creating any to do list or productivity plan dont pile a ridiculous amount onto it that just leaves you stressed and overwhelmed because that defeats the entire point; this works the same for academic plans and goals and lists etc.

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ extra credit

put extra work in to the subjects you know will help you in the future. for example, for my personal aspirations i need to excel in english, history and textiles so i always try my absolute hardest and put my all into those lessons and do extra studying for them in my free time where i can. school is to prepare you for the future so take advantage of that

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ asking questions

please don't be shy to ask questions! that's what teachers are there for and you won't have them forever so take advantage of it while you can! you can even do it in that little window of time just after class if ur too nervous to ask in class. for example, on my last english exam i went to my teacher after class and asked about what i needed to improve on to get the marks i missed next time, and he told me i added too much detail and some other things so i wrote it down and am keeping a note of it to remind me to improve on that next time! (i got top of my class though so i didnt mind. still kind of pissed i added too much detail though)

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ participation

participate! ok im saying this as someone who still struggles with social anxiety a fair amount but if u wanna get higher marks and get on good terms w ur teacher i 100% recommend this. i don't do this in every class but i do it where i can and when i'm confident in my answer, and it's really intimidating at first but what i did is i did it first in the classes i felt most comfortable on and continued from there. it gets easier every time i swear, and nobody's judging you; they'll forget about it after five minutes. plus, what would they be judging you for? being smarter than them?

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ prioritising ur health

this is mentioned a lot in these types of posts but if you're tired or burnt out or overworked or just feel like you need to take a break then do. do the best you can and compromise like i said earlier if you need to, just make sure u are prioritising yourself over anything. <3

inspo ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

my notion ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

i also really recommend this layout by @honeytonedhottie, she's amazing go follow her

lots of love! <3

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bumblingbabooshka · 4 months

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Context: Transporter Accident Species Swap Kathryn. C'mon. Patreon | Ko-fi

Episode where Janeway and Tuvok have their species swapped by an accident or entity and while everyone's figuring out how to undo it they expect Tuvok to be the one acting different but he's generally the same* meanwhile Janeway's newly Vulcan brain is terrorizing her with nightmares and violence 24/7. *He has trouble with his human body more than any emotions. Like, he keeps burning himself on things he'd normally touch without thinking. He can't stay up and stay focused as long as he normally would (two days straight) and he isn't as strong as he was before. Anyway, Janeway's sort of suffering with both. She has telepathic abilities that would be normal for a Vulcan of her age and this along with the intrusive thoughts and overwhelming emotion are...a lot. Tuvok: Have you tried meditating? Janeway: I'll rip your throat out. Sorry. Sorry. I've tried. Tuvok: Allow me to assist you. Janeway and Tuvok have a conversation about how she's not a bad person and Tuvok has to struggle with and control these sorts of intrusive, violent thoughts all the time. What makes someone a bad person? To what extent are someone's thoughts 'them'? What does a 'true self' mean? Basically Tuvok's like "These Human emotions have literally nothing on me" meanwhile Janeway's getting the shit kicked out of her - DAMN! These Vulcan emotions have hands! They also retain their personalities because they're still the same people. Janeway doesn't suddenly become stoic & logical and Tuvok doesn't suddenly become more outgoing. Tuvok also does not immediately turn into 100-year-old dust because it's a star trek episode and certain things are handwaved. In the end Janeway's like "Well that was absolute hell but in some ways it was interesting to get an up close and personal look into the Vulcan mind and I feel closer to my good friend Tuvok!" whereas Tuvok learned that he actually likes rum raisin ice cream. The B plot of this episode is that there's a certain light that keeps flickering in sickbay and everyone keeps passing off the task of fixing it so eventually the doc tries to fix it himself but he ends up causing a black out (which effects the A plot) and at the very end of the episode Harry's like "THERE. It's fixed."

#bea art tag #st voy #st voyager #star trek voyager #Tuvok #Janeway #Kathryn Janeway #there is rambling under the cut #fake voyager episodes my beloved #Tuvok: (free of violent intrusive thoughts) Logic is actually even easier than ever before now. This reminds me of kolinahr studies.#Janeway: If Chakotay keeps SITTING there I'm gonna kill him. I hate how he's sitting. I'm gonna blow up this whole fucking ship.#Tuvok: -sneakily eating rum raising ice cream- Captain please try meditating. -tries to lift something that would be easy before but is #now too heavy- ah.........the difficulty.#There is a brief moment of collective tee hee hee-ism where Janeway just lifts a whole bunch of heavy things up #including everyone on the bridge (not at once)#Doctor: =_= Guys. Guys. Guys. This is SERIOUS people!!!#<- they can't hear him over the fun

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lesbianwithchainsaws · 9 months

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Annie Edison is already one of the characters of all time and, if the writers hadn't kept trying to give her a romance with Jeff, she'd be even more the character of all time

#i love annie so much and every day i am mentally fighting the writers for the jeffannie-isms #i feel like there could have been so much to explore with her outside her romance w jeff #shes smart. she wants to be taken more seriously. the study group is her found family. she chloroformed a guy twice #and was ready to do it again #she's absolutely insane and i love her and she's such a great character #and i feel like there could've been more of those moments if there was less jeff and annie stuff #nbc community #annie edison #community

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kuroartsdotcom · 2 months

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My sweet baby boy- you did what you could, rest in peace ✦

#art study #alnst ivan #alien stage #ivan alien stage #black sorrow #kuro arts #digital #pro #stars #space #fanart #furthering Ivan's Joonghyuk-isms by referencing Black Box art of YJH

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rcgecore · 2 months

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" YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST WAKE UP ONE DAY AND DECIDE WHO YOU WANNA BE? "

mutuals may like & reblog.

#✡ / asset study : visage / appearance.#✡ / asset study : isms / type.#✡ / asset study : musing / vibes.#guns tw #death tw #murder tw

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kermits-cup-of-tea · 8 months

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when the male performs exceptional, its expected. when the female performs exceptional its the exception.

#studying anthropology and man the -isms are so fucking thick its like wading through tar #everything is so fucking tainted #anthropology #the foundational texts are so so nasty towards anyone non-white male cisgender and straight #thats at worst at best those voices arent even included or given thought

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voidwritesstuff · 4 months

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Long Way To The Truth

Cw:misgendering (accidental).

Summary: Lucas makes it to Colorado and helps a young kid with their identity.

->chapter 4: Colorado.

By Next morning he was already in Colorado, as he has breakfast in a small cafeteria, he thinks back on last night. In hindsight,he feels like he just pulled a Wheeler and acted as the guidance counselor of three 20 Year olds. And it didnt bother him one bit.

For lunch, he stops at a small family owned restaurant. Its really quaint with its ochre colored walls, the plants growing from the pots placed infront of the blue framed Windows.

He steps through the double Doors made of some dark brown wood, and the smell of spicy,home made food greets him. He relaxes a little, Rolling Back one of his shoulders instintctually to then take off his army baseball cap.

As he joins the line,he sees a young kid going out to take the trash that Belongs to the stablishment. They have long dyed purple hair in box braids, tied up by a yellow and white bandana, they drag the heavy trash bag as they walk down one of the back area halls, the door to said Hall is Open which is why Lucas can see the kid.

--Thanks son!--Says a male voice from the kitchen. The kid seems to scowl and mutter something under their breath before resuming their walk.

Lucas orders once its his turn, as he eats hes contempt to watch the news since hes written down his entry of the day during breakfast. The news show how in a few months,a New ship was going to be comissioned by Mayer, the SS Thanatos.

"Kind of an edgy name,isnt it " he thinks,munching down on his chili. The spiciness of it all Burning his tongue,but he doesnt seem to care." Though, its interesting,why would mayer comission a New ship? What are they bringing?".

Hes quick to Scribble down his thoughts on his Journal in a small spot between his Many little doodles he had done during a particular terrible traffic jam on the way here.

--Ive told him so Many fucking times-- he hears the kid from before say-- its not- its not son,goddamnit-- Lucas perks up at the voice,filled with anger and sadness. Theres this look in their eyes of feeling misunderstood.

He watches them walk away and outside the restaurant through that Hall they went down earlier. Theres a slight suspicion in his mind as to what the kids discontent had to do with, bit he knows its none of his business.

"This ain't a song for the broken-hearted

No silent prayer for the faith-departed

I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd

You're gonna hear my voice when I shout it out loud"

As the News didnt show anything interesting after a while, the owner changed the channel to MTV. Where Bon jovi's "its my life" was playing.

Lucas drums along to the rythm of the song as he walks out of the restaurant. He gets approached by the owner of the restaurant,tall,dark skin and warm brown eyes, he looks worried.

--Hey,Sir. Excuse me- have you seen my son? His-their name is Juniper-- he asked,cleaning his sweaty hands on his apron-- about yay high,purple hair?

It takes him a moment to pinpoint the kid as he puts on his army baseball cap-- uh yeah, why?

--Hes been missing and he hasnt been replying to my calls-- he explains-- he seemed a little annoyed and I wanted to ask him where he was

Always the Smart one, the ex soldier nodds-- yeah,saw 'im by the parkin' lot-- he replied ,gesturing to the opposite side of where the kid had actually gone. The Dad runs away in a panic, and he takes that opportunity to go the actual way the kid left.

He knows he shouldnt have lied,but from experience he knew that sometimes parents would make things worse. And it looks like Wheeler rubbed off of on him because hes on his way to adopt yet another child.

Now that the owner wasnt there,nobody paid him any attention as he snuck into the Hall that the kid left through, it leads down an empty sort of backyard. Theres a small half broken concrete wall that seemed to be the wall that acted as a barrier to a previous,smaller, Back yard and the outside world.

Through the cracks and missing chunks of the wall,he can spot a set of purple hair blowing in the passing breeze. He sighs inwardly and tries to channel Wheeler as he leans on the Fallen wall and says.

--Yer dad's lookin' for ya

The kid gets startled, throwing a small pebble sized Chunk of Fallen wall towards him. He barely ducks out of the way and adds-- nice aim

--Who are you and what do you want?--The kid asks, pressing their knees against their chest. Their locks fall to cover half of their face since the bandana is no longer restricting them.

--'m the guy who told yer dad to go the other way so he didnt piss you off further

The kid looks at him and then looks away, growling-- good. I wouldve ripped his face off.

--Can I at least ask whats pissin' you off before I leave you alone? You look like yer either gonna hurl a piece of debrie at yer old Man or break down cryin'

--You wouldnt get it-- they reply,looking away

--kid, you'd be surprised at the ammount of shit ive seen. Try me

The kid sighs loudly and gets ready to throw another pebble sized chunk. But its not at Lucas, he throws it at a nearby tree stumpt And misses it by an INCH.

--So...so i dont really feel like a boy,or- or a girl-- they start, grabbing another pebble-- I asked my folks recently if they could use well- gender neutral words for me- but they Keep forgetting, especially my dad

"It's my life, it's now or never

I ain't gonna live forever

I just want to live while I'm alive"

God,how loud was the TV? He could hear it all the way from here.

Lucas nodds,folding his arms over his chest-- n 'm guessing thats what pissed you off?

They nodd-- its not that hard-- They followed up-- and it hurts when they dont do it- I call 'em ma and pa but they cant use the words I like?

--I get that kiddo-- he replied,looking at the tree stumpt,littered with previous atrempts of hitting it. His eyes narrow as he calculates the distance between them and the stumpt.-- parents can take a while to accept New things 'bout their kids

--How would you know?--his companion asked, throwing the pebble and missing,again,by an inch.

--well,kid-- the ex soldier grabs a pebble and throws it at the stumpt, hitting it dead in the middle--im Bisexual,and a soldier with PTSD,from a family of soldiers who also had....issues . So I'd get it

When the kid sees Lucas hit the stumpt,they look up at him and ask-- HOW DID YOU DO THAT?

he chuckled-- permission to approach?

--Uh,permission granted--They followed along with the joke,a small excited smile.

Lucas sits with them and grabs another pebble,handing it over. Now up close he can see that their eyes are puffy and a little red,and he softens his gaze-- keep your pulse steady-- he starts,showing them how to fix their aim.

His companion tries again and they hit the stumpt dead in the centre. They look all happy and they smile wide.

--Yknow,your old Man worried about you. Even corrected himself when he messed up your pronouns. -- the ex soldier added as the kid tried again.

--did...did he?--They ask,Setting down the pebble.

--Yup, do you go by juniper?

They nodd enthusiastically-- he even remembered my name?

--Yeah

Juniper smiled and stood up, all happy and with a Pep in their step. Lucas noticed the bon jovi black shirt and raised an eyebrow internally. They tie their yellow and white bandana around their purple hair and dust off their black shirt, they flap their hands a little.

--'m gonna talk to him-- they said,walking past Lucas.

--Hey kid, just one thing. Tell yer dad that it makes you feel bad when he doesnt use the right words. Otherwise he wouldntve known I think, but also know that not all parents Will understand New things

The kid puts their hands inside their pockets-- and what If he doesnt understand?

--Well...-- he trails off and points to the air,as if hes pointing at the music hanging on the breeze.

"It's my life

My heart is like the open highway

Like Frankie said I did it my way

I just wanna live while I'm alive

It's my life"

--I dont like the idea of my dad not understanding though-- Juniper adds, looking a little concerned. Their eyes go to the entrance of the Hall that they came out of.

--i understand but ive realized that well, if it makes you happy then its worth it. Parents be damned-- Lucas stands up,holding Back a wince as his back stings a little. But he manages and leans on the wall-- hell,im drivin' all the way from Florida to Washington

--Why would you do that?--his companion asked-- thats kinda weird --Theres a brief silence and they add-- right,because it makes you happy

--'m tellin' you this cuz when I was your age,I wouldve liked to know that i dont--he makes a pause,hands going to the dogtags around his neck-- that I dont need other peoples approval to be enough.

Juniper nodds,to then perk up as they hear their dad calling out for them-- thanks -- they reply, glancing Back at the ex soldier-- hey by the way,if you go all around over there-- he points at to where Lucas' Back is facing-- youll come out the other way. Just so my dad doesnt think anything weird if he sees you with me

He nodds-- ten four,much obliged-- he tips the visor of his cap like a cowboy would, making the kid laugh at his slight weirdness before leaving for the restaurant.

Lucas goes back to his van through the way the kid told him, and just as he hops into his vehicle, through the outside mirror he sees Juniper and their dad talking. The kid seems dead serious as they talk to their old Man,who nodds and gives them a big hug.

--There we go,happy thoughts kid-- he mutters,seeing a little of his past in the way the father and the kid hug things out. Whenever he would get into dumb arguments with Wheeler,they'd talk it out and hug it out.

He clears his throat,Trying to not get sappy this early in the day,and so he continued his merry way through Colorado.

Switching the radio on, he hears.

"This is for the ones who stood their ground

It's for Tommy and Gina who never backed down

Tomorrow's getting harder, make no mistake

Luck, it ain't enough, you've got to make your own breaks"

But as he drives he notices something in the rearview mirror,a black SUV following along a few cars away. He squints and decides to take an alternative Route he had mapped for ocassions like this.

Thankfully,he does lose them and by nightfall, he stays on a small inconspicuous motel on the outskirts of the state of Utah. Keeping an eye out on his van and resting in between watches

#in sound mind #ism #ism lucas #lucas cole #ism lucas cole #ism character study #in sound mind lucas cole

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deiscension · 6 months

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Starting a collection of images called 'Kill them with kindness? Wrong! WIND MASTER ATTACK 💃🕺' You think they need decorum and systemic sensibility to get the job done? No they just need a reason to flashbang you. Fuck you and your million dollar mansion I'm carrying Ming-xiong out of here like a sack of potatoes as if it were my given right. Boob attack!!!!! One million merits to the first person to tell General Pei to go bleach his roots.

#▌ ◈ SHI QINGXUAN ; ⌜ study ⌟#SORRY FOR THE NASTY COLLAGED PHOTOS i read tgcf using the physical books #I WAS SOBBING OVER THE FIRST ONE W/ TSUN EARLIER.#IT'S LITERALLY JUST 'breasts boobily at you (threat)'#im laughing but man ghost city/golden banquet arcs are such treasure troves for rlly seeing the heart of sqx #virtues and vices and isms and all #they're so smart when it calls for it but so deeply unserious #i just know one of swd's blood vessels comes dangerously close to exploding when sqx does any of this #much to be said about how it's a blend of sqx's roots as someone who wasn't high class #but also the privileges they've unknowingly been afforded #u don't REALLY have to worry about trouble and the systems of power when u have someone exempting u from them #but at the same time sqx would still defy it all regardless #(pointing at me getting meta in the tags) is that guy bothering u

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ofthesepulchre · 8 months

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The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.

Montparnasse jolted awake, chest heaving and sweat soaking his fringe so that the hair plastered itself to his forehead. In the darkness, his eyes struggled to adjust, searching around for a source of light as a reference of his surroundings. His hands reached up to push the hair out of his eyes, grasping to have something to hold onto while he stilled his hurried breathing. The cell was empty, just as it was before. His eyes had finally adjusted to the dark when he gazed around at the lonely grey stone, a single blue-white square on the wall opposite of him assuring him that there truly was a world outside the walls of the La Force.

“Just a few days, just a little vacation. You like that, don’t you?” Claquesous had mocked, laughing behind the mask as he- unlike Montparnasse- had disappeared into the night. The youth had often felt resentment towards the older man, but now it had grown into a dark hatred- imagine leaving one of your own there to be shackled and imprisoned? The betrayal felt sour, though Montparnasse had always had a sense that the masked one had no intention of staying loyal- no matter how much he bet his childish whims on it. He clenched his jaw- imagined himself sinking his knife into what he thought was flesh - though some part of him was still convinced he would stab into pure air instead. It was not the first time he had ended up here.

Montparnasse had spent many a day of his life within these walls, awaiting the release that would eventually come once one of his patrons had heard the news and managed to send a letter- assuring that he was just a wayward youth- he would improve and “oh you mustn’t be so cruel to him!”

A wayward youth- corrupted. After all, was he not just that? Was he not just a lazy idler, a beast of burden in the team of Hell, as the old man once had told him? The speech had lingered for longer than Montparnasse had thought it would, the words burnt into his head that he will enter young and rosy- yet come out broken bent and wrinkled - his vain desires for finery and luxury creating a path he was unlikely to break out of if he did not address the desires for idleness and comfort. “The hardest of all work is thieving.”

What did he know of that, anyway? Besides, Montparnasse’s desire for finery was only the product of yearning for what he had never had, the thrill of doing what was undesirable- an act of rebellion against a world that had cast him as unwanted. After all, he had never known his father, hardly knew his mother. Perhaps that is where it had gone wrong? It was never of his own doing that he had become this way, he had argued to himself- no, it must be the world that was wrong. Or perhaps he was wrong himself- though he found that his own philosophy of idleness had worked far better than anything he had been told by any priest. No, the resentment of the hypocrisy of the church fuelled him more than anything else. He fed into each of the seven heads of the sinful beast that resided within him, rebelling against the rigid systems that had decided for him how and what he should be.

Montparnasse held no conscience that came to gnaw on his roots, saw no fault within himself, rather felt the fiery burning passion of hatred and resentment that had been sown by the seeds of his position grow into vines that twisted and bound themselves to him. All his acts of rebellion were justified, for they were acts upon which he showed himself as Lucifer speaking up against a God that never truly loved him. His eyes cast up at the fine light shining in from the moonlight. His lips had curled into a snarl following his train of thought and his brows had furrowed.

Now he sat there, much like a sour child, gazing hatefully at the light which in his mind represented the higher power that had obviously cast him here.He had fallen. He had fallen yet he welcomed the fall, for it was his own doing- and Montparnasse always had control- he always had the upper hand (so he believed), so they could take their words and their rituals and shove them up where the sun didn’t shine. The shackles placed on his wrists before he was tossed into the cell had reminded him of the imprisonment that was him inside his own mind, trapped in the labyrinths of thoughts and consciousness. He was writhing and fighting against the shackles placed there by the morality and the consequences of his fall into idleness, the morality that held him in place and was there to make him compliant. He had rebelled against it- fought against the shackles and broken free- it was his own doing! All he did was himself, and nothing else - the choices made were for him- and him only. A virus preying upon society.

If they wanted him to be this- had branded him to be this- so be it. He knew that he would be back again - no matter how many times they tossed him in. The sound of footsteps broke him out the rush of resentment that had imprisoned his mind, and Montparnasse averted his gaze to the door. A rustling of keys, keys entering the lock, turning - and the door opened. One of the prison guards with the sour face of a man who’d clearly never known the pleasures of flesh unless it was paid for under the table looked at him for a second.

“They are letting you out. Again.”

A smirk broke out on the youth’s face. The cogs began moving again, churning, turn⁷ing, watching Montparnasse leave the prison with easy steps, sauntering down to the sewers with the moonlight tracing the brim of his hat. Something that Claquesous once had said to him echoed within his mind, lines from something he never had read himself, though the words had burned into his consciousness: “And, when night darkens the streets, then wander forth the sons of Belial, flown with insolence and wine.”

#{ moi. }#drabble; character study.#montparnasse #les miserables #c'est la fuckin' vie; | isms.#This was written hastily so im dropping it here before I forget #Enjoy!!!!

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fuckedprophet-arch · 11 months

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don't ever mistake dallas as the type to walk away when he loves you. he isn't the bigger person being like they'll be better off without me -- they can do better. no he's selfish, he's vile and cruel and would destroy the other to keep you. if he loves you he isn't the tragic hero giving you up, he's the villain burning the world to keep you.

#//. study #//. isms #like he yes you can do better #but you chose him and he chose you and fuck the rest

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fuckedprophet · 9 months

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I’ve said it once and I’ll say it a fuckin gain, Dallas is a good parental / older sibling figure when it is called of him. He is kind to children and wants them safe, he never plans on being a dad but if he becomes one he is trying his best to be a good one. Dallas even at his cruelest and most vile won’t harm children or animals. He refuses. But everyone else is fair game.

#. study #. isms #I’m sorry your grandma ? gone #your sister? is she over twenty? gone #like you better be praying you can pass on the kids eat free cause if not #ya dead #if he don’t like you #or got a bone to pick

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carpeomnes · 1 month

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tag drop

#IS THIS INSANE? AM I INSANE? ; ( musings )#TAKE IT ALL! ; ( isms )#DOES MY FACE LIE? ; (face )#AND BY THE WAY... I FUCKING HATE GOLDFRAPP ; ( memes )#MAYBE NOT A CALABASAS GIRL ; ( about )#OR DID SOCIETY MAKE ME THAT WAY? ; ( character study )#TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE HAUNTED BY ; ( meta )#TEENAGE? YEAH. JOKE? NO. ; ( answered )#THIS IS WHEN THINGS HAPPEN YOU KNOW? IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT ; ( aesthetic )#FOUR OUT OF FIVE DOCTORS AGREE THAT I AM ACTUALLY INSANE ; ( headcanons )#PRETTY PLEASE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP? ; ( wish list )#NOW IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP ; ( out of character )#WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? WORSHIP ME! ; ( self promo )

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rcgecore · 2 months

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" YOU LOOK TIRED . . . NIGHTMARES AGAIN? "

mutuals may like & reblog.

#✡ / asset study : visage / appearance.#✡ / asset study : musing / vibes.#✡ / asset study : isms / type.#how her therapy goes most of the time tbh.

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fuckedliar · 9 months

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you can tell liz's mood for the day by what color scrubs she wears to work. they usually range from pink, lavender, blue, and a mint green -- but if she's pissed she wears either navy or black.

#|[ isms #|[ character study #|[ about #like easily when she gets out her car her friends are clocking her oufit

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voidwritesstuff · 4 months

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Long Way To The Truth

->cw: angst,mentions of ptsd, your usual Lucas stuff.

->chapter three: Arkansas pt2// Oklahoma.

->reblogs over likes.

A little weirded out,he packs up his stuff and leaves. The road before him its still pretty wet,so he drives slowly and taking Wheelers advice.

He could afford to take the day slow,to relax,just this once.

Most of the trip across Arkansans is pretty calm, just towns and towns. Some nice people,some mildly annoying ones,but its as normal as his trip could get.

The most interesting thing he had during the trip was while he was taking a break from Driving. The heat is not that bad at that moment, hes sitting on the floor of his van with a guitar in hand.

Said guitar wasnt his,it was Wheeler's. He was going to be their band's guitarist,it did go to wheeler's head for a few days, and he was a goddamn menace about It. He spent days bragging about how he would get all the chicks and leave the others with none. (To which Lucas would reply that the jokes on him because Lucas himself is Bisexual).

Regardless, he sits on the floor of the van,leaning Back on some of his bags and boxes and he starts to strum what few chords he remembers.

The strumming continues for a bit as his thoughts swirl to the beat of the song. Hes composed a few of songs before,kept them all to himself.

But around him theres not that Many people only the passing cars of the road, no-one is paying attention to him.

So,it Beggins in a humm,tuning his voice to the chords. He takes a deep breath and...

--See me and the boys

We got plans for what comes later

After the war

Got names for a band

And jobs for each other-- he sings,looking at his Journal,Open beside him where he has a picture of him and his Friends.

He was the youngest of his team, the platoon's Child that Wheeler fawned over like a mother hen. Even if his captain denied any favoritism, it was clear as day that if anything happened to Lucas,Alphonso wouldve totally commited a few war crimes.

--so,do you have any children?-- Lucas asked Alphonso once while they Ate lunch.-- you seem like ya do

--Nah,me n my Lady are waitin' for me to come back home to try. Ion wanna lose my baby's first steps or words. --Wheeler answered, eating a bite from his food-- but honestly I think at this Point we might as well adopt you

Lucas chuckles,a little embarassed but moved, he clears his throat trying to play it off-- c'mon Man,dont Rob me of the experience of being the cool uncle

--Fine fine I wont. On one condition-- his captains eyes had that look in his face, that mischevious glint that meant that he was going to thoroughly embarass him by being cheesy and sappy-- I get to be your best Man when you get married

The younger Man nodded-- deal,you better not embarass me infront of my future spouse though

--Cant make any promises,kiddo-- Alphonso replied with a teasing smirk.

God,those were the days.

--It feel really good, whoa

I'm crashing, I'm crashing down

Everyone's crashing

But as long as we're together-- he keeps singing, the memory sitting like a weight on his chest.

Maybe after this,he should check on Wheeler's wife,she was in a retirement home in Tennesee, he visited her during the anniversary of Wheeler's death and during the holidays,hes taken her to some of his family gatherings before.

To this day,she maintains that hes the son she and Alphonso never had, Hence why he has Wheeler's guitar and some of his memorabilia.

Anger,regret, sadness and grief pour from his voice as he sings each word,a little shaky and weak--Ooh, and the drummer plays

A beat too long and the whole damn song

Starts to fall apart

Ooh, by show of hands

The group disbands, and they won't be back

By popular demand

"Im with you,every step of the way. Keep going,kid"

Those words echo in his mind, and it almost feels like Wheeler is showing him New chords he didnt know with the way that his fingers press down on different parts of the guitar's neck. They just sort of come to him.

Its like he can almost hear him say "Like this- no youre doing it wrong,that finger goes here. Atta boy"

--Believe it now, believe it then

As long as you believe it when

It comes knocking, it comes knocking for your friends

Between the times we used to spend

And now the feeling never bends

I noticed and I notice it again-- he sings,pouring his feelings into the dragging of the words. The strumming becomes a lot more fluid,Like an actual song hes played over,and over again.

He even gets a small Disney princess moment because a few of the critters like birds and squirrels get closer to him to hear what hes playing

But putting his feelings into words is really good for his anguish,it makes him feel a lot lighter and at ease with that constant maelstorm of unresolved issues. He eventually does put away the guitar and grabs his Journal,as much as it stings him je writes down a little item that says "get a therapist ( a good one)".

The only reason hes considering seeing a therapist again is because of Wheeler, he needs to take the reigns of his mental health somehow. The worlds huge,this country was huge, there has to be at least one therapist that Will hear him out.

Right after that,he resumes his Driving. And by nightfall hes already in Oklahoma,which does help him quite a bit with his anxiety.

During the night, he found himself a nice parkinglot to park,a little in the shadows of the streelights. Hes currently writing down on his Journal before going to bed.

"Diary entry #200.

Already in Oklahoma,im so sick of Driving so much. Theres still a few days until I reach Milton-Haven, but I also find myself enjoying the trip, havent been outside for this long in a good while.

It feels just like the hunting road trips me and my dad would do every year when I was a kid.

I think im going to find a room for the night tonight, despite the fact that I might need to sleep on the floor. But it would be great to not half freeze my ass for one night.

Regardless, heres my to do list for when I get to MH.

•find a place to stay.

•find a job (prefferably a quiet sort of job)

•research about Mayer and possible facilities they May own. (Visit town hall)

•find documents about AR.

• find a therapist (A good one)."

After that,he closes the Journal and goes to bed. Lately,as hes been able to think about his past and process it, hes had less run Ins with bad dreams and his PTSD related. He low key hates how actually confronting his emotions helps.

But regardless of that,his sleep goes uninterrupted, and Next morning he continued his trip after getting breakfast.

Nothing of note happens thruought the day. The night however does bring Lucas something interesting, as he entered the bar, he noted the stage was getting ready for a performance.

And as he eats dinner he can hear the supposed band members argue over him

--Goddamnit,He cancelled?--A guy asked,sounding exhasperated.

--Its the third time this week!-- a girl added-- explain to me where are we getting a damn drummer now?!

--We cant cancell this gig- I cant afford it-- another guy says.

Lucas sighs,scratching the back of his neck. Was he really going to do this? He could just nope out,not his circus not his monkeys. It would be exposing himself to a large crowd,there could be some goverment agent in there and-.

--I dont get why we even made this band in the first place! -- the girl said-- stupid fucking- I cant fucking belive it. Its a waste of damn time

Fine,fuck,guess hes doing this.

After he eats dinner,he goes to talk with the band. Telling them who he is and that hes good at drums,and in their desesparation the band accepts.

--Im isabell--says the girl-- im the vocalist of the Group, this is Leon, hes the bassist and this is Jay the guitarrist.

Lucas wouldve Flinched if he heard that a few days ago,but for some reason now hes a lot more at ease when the memory of Alphonso pops out.

--Nice to make yer acquaintance, what song are yall playin'?

Isabell scratches the back of her neck-- we're uh playing the Trooper by iron maiden

A smile appears on the face of the ex soldier-- neat,I know the chords to that song. I really like it actually

--Oh thank god-- the main singer exclaims-- de can go fix up the Seat for you n all, we gotta get ready anyway

--Sounds great, lets do it then

Lucas cant help but look at the main three of the band as they get ready and tune their instruments. He can tell theyve been Friends for a while because of the way they interact, he smiles fondly at the sight,wondering if him and his Friends wouldve been the same way if they ever did manage to form that band that they wanted to form.

Before the show,Isabell seems a little anxious as she warms up her voice, It makes him feel for her as she sits on the steps to the stage as she looks down with this fearful look in her eyes. on a whim he decided to sit with her and talk, see if he could help.

--Hey, whats up?-- he asked,putting a hand on her shoulder.

--Ah nothing- stage Fright. I always get it before every show- theres a lotta people in here and it makes me nervous-- she explains, passing her hands across her face-- the owner said that if we do good tonight, we'll become The Band of the bar. Its huge for us you know?

He nodds-- yeah I get that, seems quite daunting-- his hands reach to Grab the dog tags hidden underneath his flannel-- but yknow after a lifetime of well, war, i-ive realized something. No matter how scared you are- its better to just- just do it rather than running away

--How did you deal with the Fear?--She asked,eyes setting on the dogtags. She seems a little distracted from her anguish.

--beside just doing the damn thing even if I was shittin' myself internally?-- he asked, and at that she laughed and nodded-- had really good Friends-- he nodds towards her bandmates-- for..-for me it was my captain -- he takes a deep breath as he considers what hes about to do-- for you? Its leon and Jay, im a pretty observant guy and ive seen the way yall act together. Im sure those boys would follow you to the ends of the earth if you just asked. So dont be afraid to reach out- here,gimme your hand

A little curious and quite moved,she offers his hand as he takes off his dogtags and places them on her palm-- hopefully this helps, I have one of the tags of my captain on that chain. And since yer singing The Trooper, its only appropiate you have something army related.

Isabell smiles,putting on the dogtags. The weight of the metal is oddly soothing-- Thanks, Lucas.

He smiles and pats their back-- s'nuthin.-- he stands up and dusts himself off-- c'mon kid,lets get the show started -- he helps her up and smiles reassuringly.

Soon,the show starts. Lucas hits the drumsticks together, marking the beat of the song before he starts playing,leon and Jay join in and so the instrumental begins.

The vocalist presses her hand against the dogtags as she gets ready to sing, she feels the warm metal against her palm, takes a deep breath and looking upon the semi crowded room begins singing.

--You'll take my life, but I'll take yours too

You'll fire your musket, but I'll run you through

So when you're waiting for the next attack

You'd better stand, there's no turning back-- and damn, shes quite good at it. She follows along to the melody with no issue, her voice doesnt break or falter as the lyrics flow in the air like mist.

Lucas gets a smile on his face that grows bigger and bigger as the Group gets more and more into the song.

And he cant help but laugh internally at how impressed the crowd looks at the performance of the band. One dude looks particularly impressed, and he wonders If thats the owner of the gig.

--The horse, he sweats with fear, we break to run

The mighty roar of the Russian guns

And as we race towards the human wall

The screams of pain as my comrades fall-- isabell has put her soul into her singing, as if a siren was the vocalist of a metal band.

Theres a catharsis in the way theyre playing the song, especially for Lucas who can relate more than most to the lyrics. He doesnt hold back either and he plays as if nobody is watching, all he can hope for is that he doesnt break the drum set.

By the end of the show the crowd is a mess of cheering and screaming, Jay and Leon pick up their vocalist friend and sort of throws her up to then catch it again.

Isabell is all smiles as she talks to a man afterwards, the one he correctly guessed to be the owner.

In that moment he gets ready to leave, but as he makes his way to the van, the band stops him.

--Lucas hold on!--says Leon, running up to him.

--Hey yall, whats up?--He asked.

--Two things-- the vocalist girl says,outta breath, taking off the dogtags-- these and-

--You wanna be part of our band?--Jay asked Straight up,gaining a glare from his friends-- what?! You two were going to make a whole fanfarre over it. So id rather just ask

Lucas shifts his gaze between the three of them,pretty amused. He puts on his dogtags and answers-- ah im sorry,I cant. Im on a sort of moving to Washington,gonna visit an old friend while im at it and 'm already runnin' late.

--Shame-- Isabell answered, a little dissappinted-- but-but thank you,you literally saved us-

--S'nuth--the ex soldier doesnt finish his phrase before Isabell gives him a big tight hug. He hugs back a little confused but endeared.

--This band has been her dream-- leon explains once the girl pulls back from the embrace-- means a lot to her- to us. Even if we dont have any names for our band yet

--Well see that I can help with-- Lucas said with a smirk-- yall remind me of me and my war buddies, we talked about a band once and we wanted to call ourselves "the ragtags" 'cuz we came from all 'round the US. Since that bands never happening,i leave it up to yall youngsters to Carry the torch for me- us

The three look at eachother and nodd enthusiastically-- Will do,take care dude-- says leon,shaking Lucas' hand, so does Jay.

--You too,all of you -- he replied,to then adress isabell and say-- and you have one hell of a voice, by the way.

In that instant,isabell goes red as a tomato, to which Jay rolls his eyes a little. -- a uhm thanks, hey do you uhm m-

Jay and leon Grab their friend and slowly drags her away, she kicks and complains trying to get out of their grasp. --YOU ASSHOLES I WAS GONNA ASK FOR HIS NUMBER.

--Leave the guy alone!--Leon Shouts.

--HES GODDAMN CUTE. --isabell yells back.

Jay looks thoroughly embarassed and exclaims a quick-- SORRY--at Lucas before dragging her into the bar.

Lucas stands there mistified, a little flustered. --Yep,still got it-- he mutters with a smirk before grabbing his keys and getting into his van to drive to a motel nearby.

#in sound mind #ism #ism lucas #in sound mind lucas cole #in sound mind lucas #lucas cole #character study

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