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restlesswritingss · 5 months

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In which Astarion's confession doesn't go as planned

WARNINGS: Angst, normal warnings for talk of Astarion's backstory ie sexual abuse and talk.

Astarion wanted to be honest with you. You deserved honesty. You were wonderful and you deserved something real. He wanted things between you two to be real. But when he went to tell you all this, he'd cut himself off before he could get to that part. The hurt on your face had made the words die in his throat. Tears welled in your eyes and he could only watch in horrified silence as the realization that he had used you set in.

"I am so sorry," was all he could get out.

You let out a shaky sigh and turned your gaze to your feet, "I'm sorry as well that I made you feel like you had to put yourself through that for my protection. I shouldn't have been so bold in my desires for you. You've always been more than that to me and you owe me nothing."

Astarion wanted to vomit at hearing you blame yourself for his betrayal. Sure, your eyes had practically been hearts upon first glance at him and that had made it easy for him to choose you as his target, but that wasn't your fault. You'd had a crush and he'd used it against you.

"Tav, I," he reached out for you but you flinched away from him.

His hand hung in the air.

"It's ok Astarion. I'll be ok. I just need to be alone right now, if you want to feed from me once I fall asleep feel free. I still just want you to be safe and happy," you still wouldn't meet his eyes and that hurt the most. The fact that you didn't trust him to see your tears anymore.

He tried to speak again but you finally met his gaze and the pain he saw in it knocked the wind out of him.

"Thank you for being honest with me, please don't think this means I want you out of the camp. Please stay with us, I promise to get over myself and not bother you anymore with my feelings," you said.

Your voice was steady and you thanked whatever god you could think of for it. You couldn't let Astarion leave just because you were an idiot who couldn't control their romantic desires for him.

Astarion was in awe of your selflessness. He'd just broken your heart and all you said was that you hoped he stayed with the group. You should have screamed at him, slapped him even, gods knew he deserved it. But this, this kindness, was something he didn't deserve. He didn't deserve you. So he held the words he'd rehearsed over and over back. I want us to be real. You deserved real with someone better. Someone who wouldn't hurt you like this.

You'd turned away then and gone off somewhere in the forest. When Karlach had asked him he'd just said you needed some time alone. You didn't come back all night. Astarion took watch and spent the entire night staring into the fire wanting to burn himself alive. The shame was killing him. This wasn't something he'd done because Cazador had ordered it, he'd manipulated you over and over of his own free will. He'd listened as you opened up to him about your own issues with intimacy and past traumas from awful partners. He'd made you feel safe and loved with him, all just so you'd protect him. You hadn't deserved that. No one truly did.

The next morning you were back at camp cooking breakfast as it was your turn. Ever the dutiful leader. You were much quieter than usual and everyone glared at him for it. You two hadn't been exactly subtle about your budding romance and now you could barely look at him.

After giving everyone their food, you'd excused yourself back to your tent with a mumble about not sleeping well. It was an obvious fact due to the major bags under your eyes.

"What did you do?" Lae'zel spat with her fork pointed menacingly at him.

He tried to avoid everyone's gaze, especially the hope and glee that filled Gale's. It was also no secret the wizard had a crush on you and the idea of him finding pleasure in the demise of your relationship made all the goodwill the two had built up dissipate immediately. The girls were just glaring at him with friendly protectiveness but he still knew any of them would take the opportunity to jump your bones.

He seethed under it all, "We aren't together anymore and that's all the rest of you need to know." Nosy bastards.

"So you broke up with her," Halsin chimed in without taking his eyes off his breakfast like the calm annoying asshole he was, "her eyes were filled with too much passion for you for it have been her to break things off."

That instantly cooled Astarion's anger and want to lash out. Did you really look at him with love so obvious? All your other companions just nodded along to the druid's statement.

I hadn't wanted to break up with her, I'm just not ready for . . . whatever this all is.

Karlach gasped dramatically and he jumped up at the realization that they had all heard his thought.

"Get out of my head you bastards. Who I have in and out of my bed is no one's business but mine. Tav and I had our fun but now its run its course," Astarion spat at them all before stalking off into his tent.

The rest of your companions gave each other a knowing look.

"I just want them both to be happy!" Karlach cried.

Gale shook his head, "Well maybe they will be happier apart."

They all glared at him knowing the ulterior motives he had behind the statement.

You were trying your hardest to just be normal. Everyone had given you sidelong glances as you attempted to just pack up camp and move on with your adventure, but no one pushed you to talk. Astarion hadn't left his tent the whole time which had made it slightly easier to ignore the change in your relationship. But now, he was still inside it while everyone else was basically ready to go.

You stood outside his tent flap regretting becoming the de-facto leader of this group because it meant that it was left to you to get his ass out. Before his prissiness had been annoying but amusing. Now you were just annoyed since it meant you had to face your ex not even a full 24 hours after he'd told you in no uncertain terms that your whole relationship was just a lie.

It wasn't the first time you'd been used and discarded but it'd hurt more. It'd hurt because it wasn't his fault. All Astarion had known for 200 years was torture and manipulation, of course he'd perpetuate that cycle. You should have seen it. Why would Astarion ever want you anyway?

You took a deep breath in an attempt hold back the tears and tried to muster up the courage to knock on his tent post. But he scrambled to the entrance before you got the chance.

Astarion opened up his flap the second he realized you were standing outside his tent with a pathetic urgency and hope. He'd been meditating and had been too distracted to be fully aware of his surroundings. His chest squeezed at the knowledge you'd been reluctant to enter his tent. You were still welcome and wanted in his space anytime.

You raised your brows at him clumsily tripping over himself.

"H-hello Tav, what brings you over?" Astarion tried to save his dignity by standing up straight but the stuttering didn't help.

You frowned, face filled with concern at him being so off-kilter, "I just came over to let you know we are ready to head out whenever you are. Let me know if you need anything."

You internally kicked yourself for seeming like such a partner. You should have said any of you would help. No wonder he felt so obligated to play into your affections, you couldn't even turn it off when he'd explicitly told you he didn't want it.

Astarion could see you getting in your head about everything you said. He wanted to reach out and wipe away the crease in your brow and kiss the tip of your nose like he would've done just yesterday. But today it wasn't his place. He'd thrown that away.

Instead he just cleared his throat and said, "Thank you my dear. I'll get my ass in line quickly."

He tried to smile but it didn't reach his eyes. You flinched at the term of endearment, nodding and quickly turning away before you could truly react to it in front of him.

Astarion watched you walk away, only turning to pack up his things once you'd gone out into the forest yet again.

The continuous trek to Baldur's Gate was even worse now that you didn't have a cute rogue in your ear entertaining you. Instead now you had a know-it-all wizard practically breathing down your neck.

You'd known Gale had a crush on you but it'd never felt real. You hadn't even considered him before Astarion joined your group because it felt like you were just a stand in for Mystra. Gale didn't really want you, he wanted a partner and was trying to force you to fit his ideal version of that.

But then again, maybe you weren't the best judge of these things. Everything had felt real with Astarion. Even when he dissociated during intimacy, you'd felt able to pull him out of it and remind him that he could refuse you. He'd made you feel loved and wanted, but now you knew all of it had been a farce.

Gods he was a good actor and you were a fool.

Astarion seethed behind you as Gale pathetically vied for your attention. Gale barely even knew you yet he'd convinced himself he loved you. It made Astarion sick. Astarion had actually taken the time to speak with you, making him feel more justified in his own pining. Guilt stabbed him again as he remembered that he'd taken all the knowledge he'd learned of you to twist the knife further into your back. Even though his intentions had been nefarious, the end result of all his time spent with you left him in the same place as the wizard. Hopelessly in love with you.

At lease his love was based in reality though. That still made him better than Gale.

"Gale, leave our leader be. Her mind is already too clouded with her unrequited feelings for the vampire spawn," Laezel spat at the oaf. It made Astarion like her both more and less at the same time.

Gale turned around to glare at her while you kept your eyes forward to avoid seeing said vampire spawn's reaction.

Your shoulders slumped and you sighed exasperated, "Thank you Laezel for your tact and care when it comes to personal matters."

Everyone was now looking at Astarion, everyone but the one person he desperately wanted to as your head never even turned.

He scoffed and kept moving forward. That was all he could do. Speaking would have betrayed too much.

The rest of your day went by without a hitch or another awkward comment. You came upon an abandoned town with not much left to loot, but with intact houses that would provide protection for a night.

You all agreed to camp out there for the night to recharge before the next inevitable fight you'd encounter. It was your turn to gather firewood, a fact that made Astarion nervous as none of you had fully scoped out the surrounding forests. Everyone else had tasks or their own selfish reason for not volunteering to go with you, so it was left to him. He wanted to feel burdened or annoyed but there was excitement at being alone with you again flowing through him where blood would be.

It'd only been a day since your disastrous conversation and yet he felt the hole your absence left as if it'd been centuries. He was pathetic.

He came up behind you loudly so as not to sneak up on you just as you were about to head out.

"I suppose it goes without saying that you need a companion to explore the woods," He began trying to seem put out but the moment your gaze fixed on him his voice dropped and he finished quietly, "please let me accompany you."

Your brow furrowed again and it drove Astarion crazy. He wanted to comfort you when that look crossed your face, not be the cause of it.

"I appreciate the offer, but please don't feel like you have to," your voice was strained as you tried to give him an out.

"I want to."

You sighed obviously not believing him but not having an argument in you, "Ok."

With that, you turned and headed out without glancing back him. He kept close, closer than necessary but not as close as he wanted to be. It only took him a couple minutes of silence to break. As soon as you were out of ear shot of the group, he grabbed your elbow to get your attention.

You stopped abruptly and spun directly into his chest. His arms came up to catch you as you stumbled, and for a moment you relaxed into his embrace. But then your mind caught up and you pulled away.

"Sorry," You blushed and went to turn back to your task.

"Tav we need to talk," His voice was shakier than he wanted, but he couldn't hold himself back. He was going to be selfish despite his best efforts.

Your gaze snapped to him, panic coloring your features.

"Please don't leave the group, I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable," You spat out quickly, desperately.

Astarion hated hearing you beg for him in this way, as if you did anything wrong and didn't deserve his companionship. It was something he could never wrap his head around.

"Tav, no I wanted to talk about our conversation yesterday. I didn't leave it exactly where I wanted. There was more I had to say but I couldn't get it out after hurting you the way I did."

There was that damn crinkle in between your brows again. He was resigning to spend the rest of his life ensuring you never worried again. Granted you would want him around for the rest of his life.

"I also didn't say everything I wanted to," you began with a voice soaked in guilt, "I know I already apologized but I cannot express enough through words or actions how sorry I am I made you force yourself to sleep with me. I'm not an idiot and I knew you wouldn't have looked twice at me unless there was something in it for you. I'm sorry I let my personal feelings cloud my better judgement. It was obvious you were playing me and seducing me not out of want or desire, but I just wanted to believe you returned my feelings."

You took a deep breath after your word vomit, then opened your mouth to continue but he cut you off with a yell.

"I took advantage of your affections, and you beg me for forgiveness? I have to contradict you my love because you are in fact an idiot. You did nothing wrong," he was exasperated with your self-flagellation, "I'm not made of glass! I wanted to fuck you and I enjoyed it too! Which is the entire problem! As I said, I had a nice simple plan but you had to go and fuck it up by not only being a good lay but also the first person I've ever truly cared about! And how could you assume I would never want you! It's absurd! Especially when you are all I have wanted since our first meeting in that damned bush! You don't get to put words in my mouth and assign feelings to me that aren't mine. I didn't manipulate or sleep with you because you eyed me up everyday, I did it because I wanted your protection and I saw an easy way to get it."

He huffed, tired from his emotional outburst but added one last thing, "I'm the villain here. Not you. It was never you."

You were stunned, every word he said floating around in your brain but latching onto one vital thing, "Wait you enjoyed the sex we had?"

Astarion huffed again and threw his arms up, ever the dramatic one, "Of course I enjoyed the sex we had! You're a vision, and you're so much more than that. It was the first time I'd ever truly felt connected with someone."

"I, I just felt so awful thinking that it hadn't been what you wanted but what you'd forced yourself to do," tears were falling at the realization that you hadn't hurt him in that way.

Astarion realized what had really been eating away at you, he hadn't wanted you to ever feel guilty on his behalf. The fact that you did warmed him in an unnamable way.

"Our time together meant everything to me and I just couldn't bear that it had been at the expense of your suffering," you sighed.

Astarion scoffed, "Being with you never caused me suffering. Except, well, the guilt that ate away at me for manipulating your feelings."

You tried to interrupt him but he held up his finger.

"Ah ah ah, love. You don't get to say that I wasn't. I was. I saw your attraction to me and it made you an easy target. I chose to seduce you and manipulate you for my own game. My plan was simple. It was easy, instinctual. 200 years of habit kicked in. So imagine how stupid I felt when I genuinely started to feel something for you."

That seemed to knock some sense into you. Relief overwhelmed you at the knowledge that he returned your feelings.

Seeing the relief and pure love in your eyes for him made Astarion's brain go haywire. He immediately cupped your face in his hands and pulled your mouth to his in a way that was more aggressive than he ever wanted to be with you. He devoured your mouth. He always tried to be delicate with you even when he was still telling himself you were just a means to an end, but in this moment he couldn't hold back his own passion for you. The feeling terrified him but the feel of your body kept him grounded.

Finally you pulled away for air and he cursed your human dependencies. But it gave him a moment to remember what else he had wanted to say.

"You deserve something real, I want us to be real. I just, don't know what that looks like. I've never been with someone who I wasn't going to bring back to my master for their gruesome death and I know things are different with us. I will never let him touch you, but it still all feels tainted," He breathed the words onto you face, not being able to bear another moment without your touch. One day was long enough.

You rubbed soothing circles onto his lower back where your arms had wrapped around him during your embrace.

There was nothing but devotion and pure love in your eyes as you gazed up at him, understanding the part he couldn't voice out loud and never pushing him beyond his limits.

"That's ok, we can take this as slow as you need if you even want to change it all. I meant it when I said that you are so much more to me than sex. I'm content to just be in your company," you breathed back at him still recovering from the kissing.

He loved leaving you breathless.

He then groaned dramatically and buried his face in the crook of your neck as he mumbled, "But I do so want to make Gale listen to me ravish you all night."

You laughed loud and boisterous, Astarion's favorite laugh of yours that was only his to hear unencumbered by your normal reservations to be quieter around others. He kissed under your jaw but wretched himself away.

"I want to work up to us being intimate together again. I want you so desperately it quite literally hurts, but I am just not there yet. Please don't give up on me," His voice faltered at the end as he met your eyes and saw tears once again filling them.

This time though you let him see them and he let you see him in all his damaged glory.

You just kissed him hoping to convey into it all that you felt. You were never giving up on him again.

Author's Note: Alright ladies let's fucking go, new hyper fixation on a white haired man unlocked! I may write more for Astarion (or Gale hehe) if people want. I haven't played the game myself bc my pc sucks and is only built for rune factory and stardew valley so I'm sorry if this isn't fully game accurate I've only seen playthroughs. As for DND lore wise, I am going to be taking liberties bc it's MY maladaptive daydream and I'll do what I want!

#astarion x reader #astarion x tav

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zootopiathingz · 1 month

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If you really think about it, the ship where Alastor would be involved in that would most likely be canon so far would be Charlastor.

I mean, he despises Lucifer and sees Vox as not worth his time, so he's not gonna be throwing himself all over them anytime soon. Nearly everyone he interacts with besides the three women he's friends with, he's either indifferent, respectable or hostile to, but towards Charlie? This man has allowed her to touch him without permission, stated multiple times that he has faith in her beliefs and even handed her his source of power. Twice.

I'm aware he's doing all this with some underlying motive, but you can't deny he won't do all this for just anyone. I really can't imagine him all comfortably curled up in Angel's bed or getting handsy with Lucifer (He wipes his hands after touching him, man really doesn't like him at all). I support all ships with Alastor but if we're looking at this at a canon perspective, Alastor interacts with Charlie the most and will continue to interact with her as the show goes on, it's more possible to happen in a sense with Alastor.

Plus with all the romantic cues the show has (Unintentionally?) given so far, with the part where both Charlie and Alastor are laying on the heart shaped pillow but Charlie falls off the bed while Alastor remains on top off it, it seems that there could be a very small possibility that there might be an unrequited crush on Alastor's part.

Yeah, it's a stretch, but hey, he didn't have to lay in that bed. He could have stayed standing, looming over Charlie to show that he might be helping her but he still sees himself as above her and in control of the situation. But! Someone still animated him on that bed! They still animated him on that heart shaped pillow right beside Charlie! They didn't have to, but they still did and my minds still reeling after that fact.

No because you’re absolutely correct here.

Out of any of the characters in the series for Alastor to end up with, if he were to have a romantic subplot of any kind, it would be Charlie. They have the most potential together as a pairing and there have been so many little hints and visual cues that I’m honestly shocked that a romance plot isn’t where their relationship is going.

I genuinely cannot see Alastor ever engaging in anything romantic or physical with Vox or Lucifer in any way. And whenever I say that people like to excuse me of hating gay ships (which I clearly don’t. I am queer, and I love seeing queer ships that actually make sense and have good chemistry, and not just because they’re gay). It’s because he canonly hates men and is much kinder towards women—except for Vaggie lol. Yes, ship Alastor with whoever you want. It’s not my place to tell you if your ship is bad or not. I honestly don’t care because it’s your opinion and as long as you’re having fun with it, that’s all that matters!

But like anon is saying here, if we’re looking at it from a canon viewpoint, let’s think about it. Again, Alastor clearly doesn’t like men and can’t even be bothered to shake Lucifer’s hand without being disgusted. There have been three women who could be potential love interests. First is Mimzy, which I can see there may have been some flirtation here and there in the past, or even an unrequited crush on her part. But with her basically using him to get her out of trouble all the time, I can’t see them going beyond their on-and-off friendship. Then there’s Rosie, who he’s obviously very comfortable around and lets her touch and grab him as she pleases—which he wouldn’t let slide with any male characters in the show. And the Radiorose ship is cute I admit, but to me they’re a pair of gossip buddies who would maybe pretend to be in a relationship if needed, but otherwise their feelings don’t go any further than platonic.

And so that leaves us with Charlie. When I first watched the pilot I absolutely assumed they were going to have some kind of slow burn, not only because the idea of the princess of Hell and this feared Radio Demon falling for each other is so intriguing, but generally just the way they acted with each other. In like a span of eight minutes they were happily dancing together, with Alastor calling her one of a kind, tossing her around and making improvements to her dream hotel.

You can imagine how surprised I was when I found out they weren’t canon and weren’t going to be in the actual show. Like, I was legit going “🤨🤨🤨” and this was before I was even in the fandom lmao

And thank you so much for mentioning that scene in her bedroom because…

What is this. What do you mean the mfs making this show drew out this scene, carefully looked at every detail for the final product, and went “yup👍” if there wasn’t supposed to be something more going on here???

Like seriously if you’ve never watched this episode and you saw these two frames, what exactly would you assume is going on here? Be honest with me

But ya know, charlastor “isn’t canon” (so they say🙄) so the animators here were def trolling us lol

#long post #hazbin hotel #hazbin ships #charlastor #radiobelle #asks #anon ask #lady luxo asks

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sentinelpri · 3 months

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Just A Prank

James Wilson finds himself flustered as he leans against the wall of the diagnostics conference room with two pairs of eyes piercing right through him; one dark blue and one dark brown. Chase sits on the edge of the large table while Foreman sits in House’s spinning chair. Cameron, who would usually put a stop to what is currently going on, is out sick with a stomach bug she caught from a patient, and House is… Well, House. It’s over half past noon but Wilson figures House will show up some time in the next hour

With the rare dynamic of just Chase, Foreman, and Wilson, odd things are bound to happen; such as Chase suggesting that Wilson randomly kiss House as some sort of… Prank. Were it anyone else being asked to do this, Wilson might encourage it. House isn’t used to any displays of affection these days, let alone used to being caught off guard by them, so someone walking up and kissing the guy without any warning would elicit a pretty good reaction. But Chase is insisting that he, James Wilson, be the one to do it- not Cameron or Foreman or Chase himself, because apparently, that would be wrong. No, it just has to be Wilson.

“And I have to be the one to do this because…?”

“Kissing someone without their consent isn’t something that most people take kindly to,” Foreman points out.

“And you think he would take kindly to me doing it?” Wilson asks. “Also, I have to point out that it’s really not fair or correct to lump House into the category of ‘most people’.”

“I don’t think he’d ‘take kindly’ to it, per se, but you two already treat each other like that all the time,” Chase argues with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Weird pranks, crossing boundaries, doing things to each other that would normally be friendship ending… It’d just be a normal Tuesday for the two of you.”

“That… Is still totally inappropriate. I mean, romantic fraternization with other hospital employees. It’s technically against hospital policy. Everyone might’ve encouraged the date with Cameron, but that’s a little different than me just going up to the guy and kissing him,” Wilson continues, his face burning bright red.

On a normal day, he’s not so easy to read or so easy to embarrass, but he’s never been able to help it when it comes to House. The thought of kissing the man he’s been in love with since 1999 makes his head spin. He shouldn’t even entertain the thought, but with the ‘prank’ that Chase is suggesting, he does sort of have an excuse…

“What, like he’s gonna report you to Cuddy? If you don’t wanna do it, that’s fine, but at least make your excuse a believable one,” Foreman scoffs. “You know as well as we do that the man wouldn’t report someone to her unless they stole his Vicodin. Anything else is fair game to House.”

At that, Wilson stumbles over himself and nearly hits the floor. He doesn’t know what to say. With a sharp breath, he sits in the chair across from where Chase is on the tabletop and crosses his arms over his chest.

“That may be true, but-”

“And c’mon, it’ll be priceless!” Chase laughs with a mischievous grin. Part of Wilson wants to laugh along with him. The other half of him wants to reach across the conference room table and smack Chase in the head for coming up with something so stupid (and so tempting). “Don’t you want to see his face?”

“I can’t imagine how pissed he would be, so no, not really,” Wilson crosses his arms. He can feel his own gaze darting around the room, probably to avoid making eye contact with Foreman and Chase. “Where the hell did you two even get this idea?”

Wilson nervously paces the room, running his hands through his wavy brown hair.

“It wasn’t my idea,” Foreman quickly spits out, dark brown eyes shooting to Chase, who offers a shrug in return.

“What can I say? I was thinking of more ways to screw with House and it was something that came to mind. I’d argue it’s one of my best ones yet.”

Wilson wants to do it. He’s been looking for an excuse to cross that line with House for years. He shouldn’t, because once he does it, there’s a chance he’ll never be able to go back. Better yet, there’s a chance Wilson will kiss House only for the older man not to give a shit anyways. That’s arguably the worst case scenario. Wilson knows that, if it were to happen, he wouldn’t be able to look House in the eye afterwards. Then, House would know. It would be a nightmare.

No matter how badly Wilson wants to grasp at this opportunity, he’s well aware it could backfire. He gathers what’s left of his willpower to refuse.

“No,” Wilson says, shaking his head.

He hopes that’ll be the end of it. Chase, however, remains persistent.

“Look, if Foreman and I aren’t enough to convince you, how about this? I’ll cover your clinic hours for a month.”

“I’m not House- I don’t mind working in the clinic and I’m caught up on my hours. It’s actually a nice reprieve from my day to day.”

With a sigh, Chase reaches into his wallet and pulls out two bills. He holds them out to Wilson. Foreman holds his head in his hands with an exasperated expression.

“...If covering your clinic hours isn’t enough to convince you, how about two hundred dollars?”

Wilson is an oncologist who makes hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. His debt from medical school is already paid off and he lives a comfortable life despite the three divorces and subsequent alimony payments he’s wracked up. Yet, with Chase so determined to convince him… No one can say he jumped at the opportunity to do this. House will probably just laugh it off- find it hilarious- love that someone was playing him at his own game by pulling a prank so inappropriate and controversial. It’ll be fine, and if it does go to shit, he can just pin the blame on Chase for coming up with the idea in the first place.

So, against his better judgment, Wilson agrees.

“Fine.”

He reaches out to take the money from Chase’s hand and shoves it into the front pocket of his white coat.

“Where do you think he’s at, anyway? He’s usually late, but not this late,” Foreman stands and gestures to the clock on the wall. It’s already almost one in the afternoon.

Knowing him, he’s probably in the cafeteria. He doesn’t have any cases today, so he showed up late to avoid clinic duty and made sure to time it so he wouldn’t get here until the start of his lunch break. He’s just using it to find out where Cuddy is so he can avoid her for the rest of his shift since she can’t make him work during his scheduled break,” Wilson explains. “If I were you guys, I wouldn’t count on seeing him much today.”

“Oh, I know we don’t have any cases, I didn't want to see him for work purposes. I’ve just gotta be there for the big moment,” Chase says while excitedly gathering his things so he can stand and head towards the door. “Well? What are we standing here for? Let’s go; to the cafeteria!”

“You know if he figures out you’re behind this, he’s going to have you covering his clinic hours and shining his shoes for the next year, right?” Foreman chuckles.

“Wait,” Wilson’s eyes flicker between Foreman and Chase, who are now standing by the door and peering back as if they’re waiting for him to join them. “You- you want me to go do this right now?”

“Yeah, duh,” Chase answers. “Now let’s go!”

Chase and Foreman both leave the conference room. Wilson, too stunned to respond, takes a moment to catch up and follow them to the cafeteria. When they arrive, it’s easy to spot House. The man is six foot two and gorgeous, so Wilson manages to pick him out of the crowd in seconds.

House walks by himself in the middle of the cafeteria with a tray of food lazily held in one hand and his cane in the other. His narrow shoulders are adorned with one of the many t-shirts he’s stolen from Wilson and his favorite leather jacket. Wilson’s heart skips a beat when House smiles. The man is probably thinking about some interaction he’s had today where he’s fucked with someone- just for the fun of it. Wilson hates that he’s so in love with that antagonistic side of House, hates that he’s head over heels for House despite years of the older man meddling in his personal life, pulling shitty pranks on him, teasing him, and generally screwing with him at each and every turn.

Maybe this prank isn’t such a good idea. But, as nervous as Wilson is, even he can admit that House deserves to be the one being messed with for once.

“Oh, do you see him?” Foreman says.

“I do,” Chase pipes up and nudges Wilson’s side with his elbow. “Well, what are you waiting for? That money wasn’t for nothing- go for it!”

“Yeah, yeah, okay. You owe me twice as much if he starts beating me with his cane for pulling this crap while we’re at work,” Wilson grumbles.

He breaks away from Chase and Foreman and goes up to House, who catches his eye and offers a smile. Wilson forces himself to smile back as House meets him in the middle of the cafeteria with his tray still in hand.

“Hey, Wilson,” House greets, a twinkle in his icy blue eyes. Wilson swallows the lump in his throat and stares back at his friend, who shamelessly eyes him up and down. “What, cat got your tongue? Or did you swallow sandpaper? Seriously, the face you’re making right now makes you look like a constipated-!”

Before House can finish, Wilson goes for it. He places his hands on House’s shoulders, screws his eyes shut, and gently presses his lips into House’s. The other man’s mouth tastes like coffee and Vicodin. It’s a bitter and terrible combination, but it’s House, and Wilson realizes that this may be the only chance he gets to experience it. He commits it to memory, savors it, loves it as if it’s the man himself.

Wilson expects House to pull away. It doesn’t happen.

Fine enough- he figures it’s out of shock, and that House will pull away in a few moments. Wilson is proven wrong when he hears House’s lunch tray clatter to the floor. Surely then, House should retract to pick up the mess. Again, it doesn’t happen.

His cane falls right after the tray, and Wilson gets ready to move, but he finds himself frozen in place when House grips him by the collar and drags him in to deepen the kiss. He moves his mouth against Wilson’s, chapped lips consuming the oncologist’s softer ones.

Wilson is snapped out of it when he hears gasps and whispers in the cafeteria. He jerks back so he can look up at House. There’s no mirror around, but if there were, Wilson is sure he would see that his face has paled with horror. He can’t so much as make eye contact with House.

And for a moment, House appears smug; shit-eating grin, raised eyebrows, and that familiar darkness that takes over his gaze when he feels like he’s won something. However, that smugness is quickly washed away when House scans Wilson’s face.

“It-” Wilson stutters, unsure of how to explain what he was doing or why he was doing it. Unsure of how to react to House kissing him. Unsure of why House kissed him back at all, but especially unsure of why House kissed him back so fast. He barely manages to force out the breathless words his brain jumbles together in its panicked state. “It was just a prank. Chase, he- he thought it would be a good way to mess with you, paid me two hundred dollars. I’ll give you the money, if you want…?”

The initial disappointment that laced House’s expression just seconds before transitions into hardened anger; the kind of ice-cold rage that he so brilliantly displays whenever he feels like he’s been betrayed by someone he trusted. It makes sense. Even in his anxious state, Wilson is thinking rationally enough to know he deserves it and should’ve expected it. After all, House has never taken well to any form of embarrassment.

Without saying so much as a word, House retrieves his cane and swiftly turns to exit the cafeteria, leaving Wilson to pick up the mess of his lunch tray while everyone else stares holes into him.

The next day, Wilson is an anxious mess. He went to House’s office multiple times after lunch yesterday and couldn’t find the man. He called and sent multiple texts, and each and every one was ignored whether it was to House’s office phone, flip phone, or pager. He hasn’t been able to find House in any of the clinic rooms, in the conference room that the diagnostics team uses, or in any of the staff offices including his own, but he knows House is there as the team is apparently working on a new case. House has just done a masterful job of avoiding him specifically.

Wilson quickly comes to the conclusion that House is angry; justifiably so. On top of being kissed in a group full of their patients and colleagues, Wilson also accidentally rejected him in front of said people by jerking away from House’s kiss as if it were the plague and loudly announcing that his initiating of the kiss was just a prank. It’s a miracle the man didn’t quit on the spot and move across the country following that kind of humiliation, because Wilson knows he would have if it were him.

Wilson feels awful about it. All he wants to do is get a hold of House so they can talk in person and clear up this misunderstanding. House put himself out there by kissing Wilson back, pretty much confessed his feelings as eloquently as he could without using actual words, and Wilson went and fucked it up with his panicked response.

The brunette is sitting in his office stewing about the kiss; partially wishing he hadn’t done it in the first place, partially praying for it to happen again. He has a thousand things he should be doing instead; writing a speech for an upcoming conference, emailing patients, looking at lab results for said patients, scheduling consults. Sadly, all he can focus on is House and how badly he wants to find the diagnostician and confess his feelings before this situation can get any worse.

Poor Cameron returned to work today and is clearly uncomfortable with the tension, Chase is amused by the whole thing to an annoying degree, and Foreman is so clearly fed up with all of them. Wilson wishes things would go back to normal- or at least not be like this any longer. It’s only been one day and he’s already exhausted by it.

He has a lunch tray sitting in front of him with a bag of chips and a scrambled egg bowl that he’s hardly picked at. In front of him also sits his laptop, which is opened to show his emai inbox. Before Wilson can start sifting through said emails, the glass door to his office is slammed open so hard he’s surprised it doesn’t shatter and break. He looks up to see House, who angrily hobbles in.

If the situation weren’t so tense, he’d find the whole thing comical; House’s evident anger, House’s childish avoidance of him, the fact that they kissed in the middle of the cafeteria.

“So, it was just a prank,” House says, his tone accusatory.

“Uh,” Wilson nods, takes a sip from his water bottle, and clears his throat. “Yeah. Why did you kiss me back?”

“Well,” House scoffs, eyes darting around the room. He stands in front of Wilson’s desk and impatiently taps his cane against the floor; something he does when he’s trying to come up with an excuse for something. As per usual when he’s been rejected or perceives a discussion as a conflict, he goes on the defensive. “Obviously, I was just playing into the bit. That’s all it was, right? A joke?”

“House, you don’t have to lie. The cat’s out of the bag for both of us now so it’s honestly kind of embarrassing for you to-”

“Now give me the chips on your tray,” House huffs and walks behind Wilson’s desk to stand right next to where he’s sitting. He snatches the chip bag off of the lunch tray in front of Wilson but remains standing so close that Wilson can smell the sandalwood laundry detergent he uses wafting off of his outfit. “I’ve got a case to work on, and this one isn’t a cancer patient, so it has nothing to do with you.”

“But I-” Wilson objects in hopes that House will listen to him enough for them to talk this through, only to quickly be interrupted.

“One more thing,” House pauses.

Wilson is optimistic that they’ll finally get to talk like he’s been wanting. Instead, House puts the chips down, grabs Wilson by the tie, and yanks him up for a kiss. Wilson barely has the time to register the taste of toothpaste and breath mints prior to House pulling away and taking the chip bag back from the desk.

“What the hell-”

“Oh, sorry about that! Try not to get your hopes up or anything,” House says in a mocking tone and feigns a pitying expression as he briskly heads towards the glass door with his cane in one hand and Wilson’s stolen chip bag in the other. “After all, it was just a prank.”

And then, House is gone.

Wilson slumps down into his office chair and lets out a long, heavy sigh. As tempting as it is, it’s best not to chase after House in the middle of the hospital- the jackass will embarrass him someway, somehow. His dark brown eyes land on his now half-empty lunch tray, and then on his open laptop.

“Fucking breath mints… He planned to catch me off guard by coming in here and pulling that, didn’t he? …God, I’ve got so much to do.”

Another day passes with no progress. Wilson was hoping the situation would smooth itself out naturally, but it seems as if House is still equally as pissed as he was the afternoon Wilson kissed him in the cafeteria, so he decides he’ll simply have to find House and sort it out himself.

Wilson knows better than to try and do this honestly. House raged and ran out on him at the hospital the other day, and then avoided him and treated him like shit yesterday. Every call and every text from Wilson has been ignored while House’s team says he’s still responding to them as usual.

So, Wilson brings a box with him to House’s apartment complex. He knocks on House’s door, sets the box down, and quickly hides a few feet away to avoid being seen through House’s peephole. The moment House opens the door to retrieve the surprise ‘package’, Wilson approaches. House quickly scoffs and tries to retreat inside to shut the door, but before he can pull it all the way closed, Wilson blocks it with his foot.

“Nice trick, Jimmy. If I weren’t filled with such unbridled rage and disdain for you right now, I might be impressed. Did you forget you have a spare key?”

“Okay, House,” Wilson starts. He doesn’t bother acknowledging House’s quip about the spare key that was, in fact, forgotten on his keychain. “You’ve been avoiding me and I think we’re just a tad overdue for a nice, long talk about this.”

“What’s there to talk about? You kissed me and I kissed you back. You’re not stupid, Wilson,” House rolls his eyes. Realizing that Wilson isn’t going to give up, House swings the door open and stares down at him. Wilson shrinks into himself. While House’s face doesn’t betray his emotions, his hands certainly do. One of them is gripping the doorknob so hard that his knuckles are burning white, while the other is braced against the wall his cane is propped up on. He’s upset; angry, still. “You know how I feel now. There’s no need for an exchange of words.”

“W-Well, I-”

“I can’t even be mad at you, you know. That’s the worst part,” House rambles. Without any indication that he’s going to do so, he storms into his living room, leaving the door wide open. Wilson takes it as an invitation and slinks into the apartment where he shuts the door behind him and takes his shoes off at the entryway. House continues his rant and plops down onto his brown leather couch. “Going and kissing someone as a prank- if I would’ve been in your shoes with Chase telling me to do something like that, I would’ve done it to fuck with you without getting paid. I would’ve jumped at the idea, reveled in it, found it fucking hilarious!”

Wilson blinks, still standing awkwardly in the middle of House’s entryway.

“Then why are you so mad?”

“Because I loved it! I stood there and made out with you like a teenager in the middle of the cafeteria,” House pauses, shakes his head, and pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and finger. “...And I loved it. You know I haven’t been able to solve the case we got yesterday morning because of you? Chase solved it before I did! All because I’ve been letting my brain rot by using it to replay that moment over and over again, thinking of what I could’ve done differently to save myself that kind of embarrassment. I kissed you back, only for the whole thing to be a fucked up joke. Do you know how that feels?”

“You’re saying all of this as if I didn’t also enjoy it,” Wilson spits. To his utter dismay and frustration, House’s icy blue eyes narrow in suspicion. The damn idiot doesn’t believe a word he’s saying; the kiss, the prank, it’s broken the trust that they so blindly had in each other before it happened. It’s turned their entire world upside down. “Seriously, House, you think I would’ve kissed you for enough money even if I really didn’t want to do it?”

“I don’t know what to think,” House whispers, low, almost as if he’s talking to himself. He crosses his arms over his chest and stares down at the ground. His cane is haphazardly dropped on the floor in front of his bare feet. “I never thought you’d kiss someone at your job like that, much less me, and yet…”

“I’d kiss you in front of just about anyone if you’d let me. Maybe I just like you that much,” Wilson offers. He manages to muster up a smile along with the courage to look House in the eye again. As House stops to process what he’s just said, Wilson slowly walks over and sits next to him on the couch. “And… Maybe the prank was an excuse to kiss you, just to see what it’d be like. I never imagined you’d reciprocate. I panicked and didn’t know what to do because I was caught off guard. Before I did it, I mulled it over and came to the conclusion you’d find the whole thing hilariously disgusting, assume it was just for the money, and we’d never talk about it again. I guess I only got one of those things right.”

“Your deduction skills aren’t the best. They never have been,” House snarks. The anger seems to leave his body as he deeply inhales and exhales. His arms fall into his lap, and much to Wilson’s relief, he smiles back. “At first, I hoped it was a genuine gesture. It’s out of character for you to act out something so dramatic in public, but I’ve felt this way for such a long time that I got my hopes up, so when you panicked… Well, I’m sure you get it.”

“Yeah,” Wilson nods and reaches out to hold one of House’s hands. Surprisingly, it’s the first time they’ve done this, but House intertwines their fingers as if it’s natural for them. Wilson could get used to the warmth that comes from House’s calloused thumb gently stroking the back of his hand. “I think I do, but… It was wrong of me to agree to do that in the middle of the cafeteria for my own selfish reasons. I should’ve manned up and told you how I felt on my own instead of using that stupid prank Chase came up with as an excuse to kiss you and gauge your reaction.”

“I’m not going to deny that. Still, though, are we going to sit here and pretend like I didn’t deserve it to some extent? I know I’ve run you through the wringer for a long time, Wilson,” House laughs and leans back into the couch, eyes now trained on the ceiling above them. “I’m sure the sadistic part of you that you refuse to admit is there got some sort of satisfaction out of making me miserable for a day or two.”

“Not really,” Wilson chuckles. House is staring at him now. It looks like he wants something- maybe like he wants Wilson to say something specific- but Wilson isn’t sure what it is. “I wanted to shock you, maybe, not make you scorch-the-earth pissed for two days. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”

“Well,” House smirks, icy blue eyes flickering to Wilson’s lips and then back up to meet the brunette’s gaze. “I do have one idea, but I’m afraid you may not be comfortable doing it without an audience; say, a cafeteria full of our patients and coworkers.”

Wilson scoffs and rolls his eyes, a fond smile taking over his face. He scoots closer to House and places his spare hand on the man’s thigh.

“Fortunately for you, I’m afraid you’re wrong- and yes, you are capable of being wrong.”

“Really? Then prove it.”

“Fine.”

With that, Wilson leans in and kisses House once again, the two men struggling not to grin against each other’s lips.

#james wilson #greg house x james wilson #gregory house #james wilson x gregory house #hilson fanfiction #hilson #house fanfiction #house x wilson #housemd #house md #oneshot #oneshots #drabble #drabbles

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eyesofshinigami · 2 months

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Three Little Words

Rating: T

CW: none

Tags: Established relationship, tiny bit of angst, kisses

Prompt: For @quinns-shadowy-arts "Love is saying 'I love you' even when you're scared"

WC: 1091

Written for @steddielovemonth Day 21

Three little words.

Three little words that burned like acid on his tongue when he tried to say them. Three little words that he knew he felt, every single time his heart beat in a rhythm of Steve, Steve, Steve, but he couldn’t make himself say. It was just three little words. Three little words that he knew his boyfriend wanted to hear more than anything.

They both bore scars from those three, simple little words. Steve’s parents used them in a lofty, detached sort of way, trotted out for appearances just like the nice china. Eddie’s parents wielded them like a weapon, his father using them as an excuse for why he behaved the way he did. The old “I only do this because I love you” that Eddie learned very early in life had absolutely nothing to do with those three little words.

It had taken Eddie a very long time to even be open to the possibility of saying them to someone else. Even with Wayne, his father in everything but blood, never got to hear them out of his mouth. Wayne didn’t say them much either, had other ways to show it than speaking it out loud.

The problem was, Eddie really wanted to say them out loud. He wanted to croon them in Steve’s ear when they were pressed together in bed, or whisper them into his mouth during a good night kiss, or even whisper them into Steve’s skin when they were both shaking in bed from nightmares of the horrors they’d seen. His chest ached with it, but his stubborn mouth refused.

So, he threw himself into showing Steve. Night drives together, cuddling in the van, making love in one of their beds until neither of them could stand it, falling asleep together after… all of these things painted the picture of what he wanted to say, but he knew it wasn’t enough.

He needed to say them. He just didn’t know how.

“How do you tell someone you… you know…” Eddie asked one day when he and Wayne were sitting outside, smoking together. It was a warm, clear night, the stars winking above them.

Wayne raised an eyebrow. “No, I don’t know. Mostly because I have no idea what you’re trying to ask me, son.” He took a drag from his cigarette. “Is this about Steve? Are you trying to break up with him?”

Eddie spluttered. The very idea made his heart feel like it was going to fall right out of his chest. “What the fuck, no! The opposite! I want to tell Steve that… you know…” Just say it. It’s right there. Just say it, you fucking coward.

“Ah. You want to tell Steve you love him,” Wayne said after a moment.

Eddie swallowed. “Yeah. I just… you know… can’t. I try to say it but it’s like my brain won’t let me.”

Wayne let out a sigh and stubbed his cigarette out in the ashtray by the bench. “I get it. Sometimes it can be hard, especially after what you kids went through.” He sighed, rubbing his chin. “But I think you should just try. Steve’ll get it.”

Eddie nodded, but it didn’t stop the angry swirl of his stomach or the burn on the back of his tongue.

–

He waited until the next night, after he’d picked Steve up. They grabbed some fast food and drove out to the quarry, parking and opening up the van. It was another nice night, the half moon blazing bright in the night sky. Perfect night for a little romantic rendezvous.

“This is nice,” Steve said, pulling out their burgers and fries. “It’s nice to be able to hear myself think after being around the kids all day.” He popped a fry in his mouth and then leaned over, pressing a greasy kiss to Eddie’s mouth.

It should have been gross, but all it did was make that feeling in his chest grow stronger, the need build higher. Fuck, it shouldn’t be so hard, but Eddie was terrified. What if Steve didn’t feel the same? What if he used it against him, just like his dad had? What if, what if, what if…

“Eds? You okay?” Steve asked, breaking Eddie out of his spiraling thoughts. His brow was furrowed and the corners of his mouth were turned down. “Do we need to go?”

Eddie shook his head, trying to gather every ounce of courage he had. Three little words. That’s all it was. “No, I’m good. I just… I really need to tell you something.”

Steve kept frowning, sitting back. “Okay, I’m listening.”

“I just… Steve…I…”

“If you’re going to break up with me, can you please just get it over with?” Steve said sadly, folding his arms across his chest.

“Why does everyone keep thinking that? No, Steve. I love you, why would I break up with you?”

It got so quiet, Eddie was pretty sure he’d be able to hear a pin drop. That wasn’t quite how he’d planned to say it, but now it was out there. Nothing he could do now. “Steve?”

Steve looked back at him, pretty mouth dropped open and his eyes sparkling, just like the stars above them. “You love me? You mean it?”

Eddie felt his whole body soften. He could still feel them there, burning in the back of his throat, but that feeling was being overtaken by the way his stomach fluttered, how pretty Steve’s blush looked under the moonlight. “Of course I do. I just… those words are hard to say, you know?”

Fingers entwined with his own and pulled him close, Steve breathing against his mouth from where their foreheads were pressed together. “I do. Thank you for saying them. I thought so, but… you know I love you too, right?” At Eddie’s nod, Steve continued, “I didn’t want to say them first, either. The last time, it kind of blew up in my face, but… I’ve felt it for months now. You’re kind of it for me, you know?”

“I do,” Eddie replied, grinning so wide his face hurt a little. “I’m sorry I was scared to say it.”

“I was too. But now we don’t have to be. That was the hard part.” Steve closed that last little bit to kiss Eddie again, deeper and sweeter than the last one. It felt good. It felt right. It felt like nothing was ever going to be the same again, in the best way.

It felt like those three little words.

#steddie #steddielovemonth #les writes things

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sleeplessdreamer123 · 10 months

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Fanfic Idea! (Lucemond, modern-ish au, where the dominoes fall)

Aemond wasn't coming home tonight. Again. Lucerys felt stupid for even thinking Aemond would remember their anniversary. He quietly blew the candles he had lit and re-lit hours ago and placed the food in the fridge. He looked in the mirror, seeing himself dressed up in a beautiful green dress with a surprise lingerie underneath that Aemond would have no doubt loved, wearing the soft make-up Aemond told him he adored. He felt stupid all over again.

So to make the sting hurt less, he opted to open the bottle of the expensive wine they were given on their wedding day. It was strong, a bit sweet with a bitter aftertaste. He ignored the glasses and just chugged a quarter of it down straight from the bottle before stopping, the burning was strong from his throat to his chest. He sat on the floor of their bedroom next to their bed, well, just his bed most of the times. He honestly didn't know what to do anymore.

Like most couples, they weren't immune to fights and disputes and problems, and one of their more recent fights happened when Lucerys asked him to take some time off his busy schedule and be with him, go in their beach house, relax back home in Driftmark. Apparently, that set off a bomb, because Aemond snapped hard and an argument ensued. Yes, Lucerys knows that the project was important to Aemond since it was the first time Viserys ever entrusted anything of that importance to him. Yes, he knows that Aemond needed to prove to his family that he can manage such a project, that they could trust that he do well with the opportunity given to him. Yes, he knows it might be the only chance he gets to have a shot at being given at least a portion of the company. But what about them, their relationship?

They haven't seen each other in weeks, almost a month, Aemond too busy to even return home at times, and Lucerys, also dealing with the affairs of his own company. Both are tired, barely even saying anything to each other, other than a few I love you's, good mornings and goodbyes. Lucerys misses his husband, and thought he needed a break. Apparently, Aemond took it as Lucerys not believing he could do it. Lucerys knows of Aemond's insecurity issues, and did his best to show him that no, he knows Aemond can do it, that he was already doing great so far, it was just that Lucerys wanted both of them to feel relaxed and happy, to have some time for themselves.

Aemond was still frustrated, telling him that he wouldn't get it, that he was given everything in a silver platter and didn't need to fight for what he has. That offended Lucerys, who had to make sure everything was running smoothly because he can't afford a mistake, lest Vaemond uses it as an example of why he didn't deserve the company. Round after round of arguments, silent treatments, and when they finally did talk, they both apologized, the words too heated, both were tired and it was a slip of the tongue, and Aemond did tell him he, too, missed being together, just the two of them enjoying each other's presence, without work in their minds.

So they compromised, and everything seemed to go smoothly. Aemond even got what he wanted, moving up in the company and getting the praise Lucerys knows he deserved. Then he began overworking again, then Lucerys calls him out with the amount of plans he had to cancel because Aemond had work to do, and they argue. Then they apologize, make excuses, fix their schedule, and so on and so forth, the cycle neverending.

And it seemed Aemond decided to break his promise again. Lucerys knows it's not fair of him to think Aemond would drop everything to be with Lucerys all the time, especially since he has a lot to lose, just as Lucerys does, but he was able to do it, to prepare in advance, to finish his work early, to come home and prepare dinner, to dress up nicely and to set the mood for a romantic night. Just to be stood up again.

And honestly, he was getting tired of it. Tired of having to plan for special days only to have to cancel it, tired of feeling excited only to be met with disappointment when met with the usual text (or lack thereof). He was tired of spending too much energy trying to keep their relationship a happy one, only to be met with the "I'm busy's", and the "next time's". Honestly, it was foolish of him to think their anniversary would be different, I mean, he didn't even come to his own private birthday party, and Lucerys had to embarrassingly explain to both their parents and siblings why the birthday celebrant wasn't able to make it to his own birthday party, even after learning how to bake the cake, prepare his favorite meals, and even brought out a couple of movies Aemond enjoyed watching after. He forced himself to enjoy the party, and gave most of what he made to his family, insisting that they won't be able to finish it all anyway. Most of the family seemed to be showing varying degrees of pity, even Alicent, who really disliked their marriage, seemed to hesitate saying anything negative towards him that day.

As Lucerys drank away his blues, he can hear the rustling of keys. He was surprised Aemond even decided to return home. He can hear the door opening, knowing it revealed petals guiding him to their dining table with the unlit candles and the untouched dinner plates. He heard the quiet curse, before the footsteps got louder. Then the door opened, and Lucerys glanced at him, red faced, office clothes a bit untidy, most likely from running, with what looked to be flowers in his hand, and a box of cake he knows would be lemon cake on the other.

If it was the past, Lucerys would just laugh and gladly accept the obviously last minute preparation, now Lucerys just stares at him oddly, before drinking straight from the bottle again. He stood up unsteadily, took the flowers and the cake, and lead them to the sad dining table. Aemond tried to grab the lighter to re-light the candle, but Lucerys just told him it wasn't needed. Lucerys didn't bother getting their dinner out of the fridge, saying they should just skip to dessert. He cut the cake and placed two small pieces on their plates. Aemond tried talking, making excuses, and Lucerys just hummed, not really listening anymore. They soon stayed silent and finished up the cake. Lucerys couldn't even taste it, he just ate mechanically.

Aemond volunteered to clean up, and Lucerys just nodded, the wine making him sleepy. He just went to the bathroom and wiped off the make up, stripped and changed the lingerie to more comfortable sleepwear. By the time Aemond was done, Lucerys was already in bed, looking away from Aemond's side of the bed.

He silently changed and laid down next to him, seemingly hesitated before hugging him. Lucerys does nothing, neither accepting nor rejecting.

When Aemond whispered a "Happy Anniversary", Lucerys quietly allowed tears to fall, letting his tired self succumb to sleep.

--------

Exams were brutal, therefore 'tis time to make it everyone's problem😌

#lucemond #aemond x lucerys #lucerys velaryon #aemond targaryen #lucerys x aemond #aemond one eye #married lucemond #problems rising #they're both tired of two different aspects of their life

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aldryrththerainbowheart · 11 months

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May I?

Note: First of all, I want to apologize to @okaywwaitwhat (if it's you who send the request) because I lived under the impression that I've posted your request and now as I've scrolled through my blog it was nowhere to be found. So again, sorry if you thought I forgot about you. Even with delay, I hope you nejoy it 😅

Second, I don't know who this beatiful piece of artwork belongs to, but Tumblr ran out of decent vhd gifs, so...

prompt no. 14 “You smiled! I saw it, so no denying it.”

prompt no. 19 “Oh, your smile is so beautiful I would love to see it more often.”

D watched your hands sliding over the blade of the sword. Its handle rested in one of your palms while the other ran an oil-soaked cloth over it. The task was performed with almost religious reverence. Your eyes were trained on the blade so you didn’t notice D watching your every move. How you acquired the Blade of Alucard was still a mystery to him. However, he did not ask you how the sword found its way into your hands, and neither he told you about its origins. That fact still burned at the pit of his stomach, but he knew he made a good decision at leaving it in your care. After all, you needed a suitable weapon to defend yourself with when traveling with him.

„Zippy? Can you hand me the other rag? The dry one.“ You extend your arm towards him without raising your eyes from the sword.

Ah, the nickname you gave him. He remembers how you decided on it like it was yesterday. You insisted he gave you his real name, thinking it was some sort of nickname. When he told you that’s all he’s ever been called, you frowned and told him one letter is not a name and he should have a real one. Shortly after, you came up with the cheeky title Zippy. D wasn’t sure it was even a word. Just another one of your peculiarities. The teasing nickname stuck and now whenever he hears it, he accepts it as his second name.

His name was another thing you’ve claimed as your own. Before he met you, he was just a test subject D, but now he was Zippy. Despite himself, D found a sense of pride in it, no matter how silly the name was. A year ago, he would be annoyed if you’d called him that. Now he felt a strange warmth every time he heard it. There was no use to fight it. You’ve wormed yourself inside the vampire hunter’s heart and there was no coming back, not that D wanted to return to his old, lonely days. Human lifespans are so short, they are like the blink of an eye compared ti his. He wants to cherish the time he has with you while he still can. To hear his name spill from your lips again and again.

„D? Don’t be a slacker.“

The hunter’s shoulders jerked. He got so lost in the thoughts of you, his hands remained still in your burlap. With warmth on his cheeks, he pulled the cloth out of the bag and handed it to you. He made sure your fingers brushed, running the pads of his fingers over your palm, much warmer than his. D noticed he’s been doing that often lately. Finding all the smallest ways and excuses to touch you. At first, he tried to justify these actions to himself as well.

The space is too small, he can’t help it. He told himself as he pressed closer to you in a cleft of a mountain you’ve hidden. Your pulse needs to be checked often, you are sick. He told himself as he held your hand while you were sleeping away the illness. He needs to make sure the breastplate fits you perfectly. He told himself as he ran his hands over your arms and sides. So on and so on. And you, sweet and ignorant you, are so assured he could never, ever see you romantically, or anyone for that matter, that you let him do whatever he wished.

His latest temerity resurfaced when training you in swordsmanship. Unbeknownst to you, he showed you all the tricks and stances taught to him by the Great Ancestor himself. You were a quick learner, and D was proud of your progress. As he guided your hands into a proper position, D put his hands over your hips as he told you to go looser in the knees. Then, he use one of his legs to spread yours more apart. By the time he realized what he was doing, you were already looking at him with bewilderment in your eyes. Ugh. The shame.

„There! All done. What do you think?“ Thankfully, you ripped him from his flustered musings. D lifted his head from behind the dark curtain of his hair and inspected you closely. You were holding the golden sword in front of you with the utmost delicacy, the blade glinting in the autumn sun. Each nook and crevice was expertly polished and D nodded with a pleased hum. He would never think that a playful trickster like you would take your sword fighting lessons and the artillery maintenance this seriously.

„D, you’re smiling.“ He could hear the laughter in your voice. The vampire hunter winced, he hadn’t realized that a small smile was forming on his face. D looked away in embarrassment. You don’t need to make a deal out o fit. „Nonsense.“ The more he denied it, the more he felt his mouth twitching. „You smiled! I saw it, so there’s no denying it.“ You set down the sword and crawl on all four toward him. Meanwhile, D crawling backward to escape your inquiry. That effort was quickly squished down when his back was met with a stone wall. Before he had a chance to roll sideways, you slid between his knees and brought your wide grin toward his face. Your happiness was contagious, so D gave up on trying to fight it, and closed his eyes whilst letting a small smile form on his lips. Truly, you live to tease him, don’t you?

„Oh, your smile is so beautiful I would love to see it more often.“

When he opened his eyes in surprise, you had this soft, warm look instead of your usual cheek. Your face was so close, you were radiating life and warmth and life like the sun itself. And just like the sun, you had the ability to bring him to his knees. The vampire hunter was so lost in the depth of your eyes that he hadn’t even noticed one of his hands inching towards your face. You noticed it sooner than him but were so shocked that you kept still. The moment is akin to wild deer making its way toward you. Slowly, D’s knuckles slid across your cheek, a whisper of a touch, while he haven’t taken his eyes from yours.

The only movement on your body was the wild beating of your heart, which was thumping so fiercely against your chest that you suspected it wants to jump out of your chest and into D’s arms. Painfully slowly you raised your hand and grasped the dhampir’s one still resting on your face, simply clutching his appendages with your smaller ones, keeping your eyes trained on his.

The first one to snap out of this weird trance was D. He jerked his hand away as if it burned him and stood up.

„Ahem- That’ll be enough training for today. Get some rest, I’ll keep watch.“

Without waiting for your answer, the hunter put the hat on his head and stomped away. All you could do was watch him as millions of thoughts swirled inside your head. Did that really just happen??

#vampire hunter d x you #vampire hunter d x reader #vampire hunter d bloodlust #vampire hunter d #d x reader #d x you

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fruitsbasketcase · 1 year

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This will probably be an unpopular opinion and that’s fine. I want to start off by saying that Moxxie’s dad, Crimson is a very shitty father and person in general. There is no excusing the way he treated his son and wife.

That being said… a part of me kind of see’s where he was coming from with his parenting style. At least in the beginning.

I think that when Moxxie was little, Crim truly did love him in the only way he knew how. Moxxie was his son, his heir, the one to take over the business and follow in his footsteps. That in itself is the problem though. To be the boss, you need to be tough. You need to be able to handle yourself and fight your own battles. Be respected.

Mox can’t cut the steak on his own, and sure, Crim could help him but in his mind that’s not the right thing to do. In his mind you have to let him figure it out on his own, so he won’t be co dependent. In my opinion, both parents are handling this situation the wrong way.

Crim leaves Mox to figure out how to cut it on his own while his mother cuts it for him. The mother is wrong in doing this because he isn’t learning. She is doing it for him and if she is there to do it for him, why would he need to learn to do it on his own? The right thing to do would have been for them to sit Moxxie down with his knife and fork and show him step by step how to do it, while still having him do it with his own hands. It teaches him and he will be able to do it on his own next time.

Not to play the generational trauma card, but I believe Crim thought he was doing the right thing for Moxxie because his father probably raised him the same way. It is the FAMILY business after all. Dog eat dog, better to burn than get burned, kill or be killed. He wants Moxxie to know from the jump that you have to become strong and fight your own battles to survive in this business and this world. The way his mother over protected him was enabling him from fighting for himself.

Now, here comes a most likely even more unpopular opinion. Millie enables Moxxie from reaching his full potential.

Are they stronger together? Hell freaking yeah they are! That doesn’t change the fact that Moxxie never gets to fight for himself or defend himself.

He started to stick up for himself at first, and I was so freaking proud of him in that moment. A part of me wonders if deep down, Crim was proud of him too for finally fighting for himself. Of course, it didn’t last long and Millie had to come to his rescue.

I love their relationship but it doesn’t change the fact that Millie doesn’t let Moxxie fight for himself, even for the littlest things. She’s quick to jump to his defense, kill anyone who even breathes wrong in his direction. That’s romantic, sure, but that hurts Moxxie as a person. Like his mother, Moxxie uses Millie as a crutch. “I don’t need to do this myself, Millie has it covered.”

Like with his mother, it is too much on the other side of the argument. They need to find a good balance. Moxxie needs to save himself for once, and I hope the next time we see Crimson, Moxxie will be the one to take him down. Not Millie. Not Moxxie and Millie. Just Moxxie.

#helluva boss #helluva moxxie #helluva millie #helluva crimson

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apples-and-heartbreak · 3 months

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I feel like when I’m reading or watching something, for me to like a hero, they have to

1) have ambition about anything

2) not be annoying

3) not excuse their shitty behaviour with their shitty childhood

4) not be so self-righteous they don’t see their own flaws

For these reasons I hate with a burning passion Jace Herondale, Clary Fairchild, Eli Ever, Tiberius “Cal” Calore VIII, Dean Winchester, and Legend/Dante Santos

Jace is constantly doing something shitty in every book and people don’t care and they just put up with it for some reason. In CoG he belittles Clary because he wants to push her away but keeps coming back to her. He also keeps coming onto Clary when he thought she was his sister and said that cursed sentence in CoG that I need to bleach from my brain. I know if he said that shit to me I would’ve punched him in his stupid face cuz who does he think he is? He mocks the werewolves after they lost a child in their pack, he’s just awful to Alec at times, he doesn’t seem to understand there are consequences to his actions and just does shit because he wants to. He had the emotional maturity of a dried up pinecone.

Clary also does so much shit and people don’t call her out because she’s the protagonist and she just lets Jace do whatever to her because he’s hot. Girl please get a grip. She slut shames Izzy because apparently women aren’t allowed to have a sex life or wear revealing clothing 😒 girl you kissed someone you thought was YOUR BROTHER!! She dated Simon to get over Jace and then kissed Jace in the Seelie Court, and repeatedly thought about Jace in a romantic sense WHILE she thought they were SIBLINGS! I can’t.

Eli is so self-righteous, annoying and hypocritical. He uses God and religion as an excuse to kill innocent people which is just disgusting. Like I get that he thinks being an EO changed a person because Victor became different but he is an EO himself and he just takes it on himself to murder innocent people for simply existing.

Cal has no desire to do anything, at least up to the beginning of King’s Cage he doesn’t (where I currently am). He knows how poorly the Reds are being treated and he doesn’t want to change anything because (and I’m paraphrasing) there would be outrage among the Silvers and a war would break out. Bitch you are already at war! He’s the reason why so many innocent young Reds have lost their lives fighting in a war they have no say in. He sees the Scarlet Guard killing Silvers and he doesn’t try to stop them. He sulks and whines but doesn’t take any real action, which he could if he actually wanted to. He stalks around the camp like Mare’s dog and thinks he’s better than everyone.

Dean Winchester is an abusive asshole. He locked Sam in the cellar when he was addicted to demon blood when he knew the withdrawal could kill him. He shit on Sam for being manipulated. He’s made horrible perverted jokes about women, might I remind y’all of the high school episode (he was at least 26 at the time). He guilted Sam for leaving him in Hell and Purgatory when he did THE EXACT SAME THING when Same went to the cage. He threatened Kaia, a teenager at gun point for his own selfish purposes. He abused Jack til the very end, yelling that he wasn’t family when Jack had sacrificed his soul and life for the Winchesters, and made Jack hate himself for being born. He was shitty to Cas in so many seasons and didn’t care that Cas just went through seeing his son die and wasn’t able to save him. He violated Sam’s body by tricking him into letting Gadreel in which led to the death of Kevin and had the audacity to think he was wronged.

Dante is shit. Julian, his brother, lived with him for centuries, followed him wherever he went and loved him unconditionally. All Julian asked was for Dante to love him back, which he never did. When Julian finally found someone who loved him, Dante made fun of him. And then in the next book he gives up his immortality for Tella, a girl he has known for literal months at most. He didn’t love his brother, who has been with him since the beginning, enough to give up his immortality but he loved this random girl he has known for a couple months at most to give it all up?? Tella should’ve left him in the dust just like she did Jacks and went off on adventures by herself and met someone that wasn’t a twat.

#great poison talks #anti jace herondale #anti clary fairchild #anti clary fray #anti jace lightwood #anti jace wayland #anti cal calore #anti eli ever #anti dante santos #anti legend #anti dean winchester #supernatural #spn #the mortal instruments #vicious ve schwab #caraval #dante santos

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meowzilla93 · 5 months

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omg wait i need your thoughts on the sheer angst of baxter not asking mc about a fling/getting rejected by them but the two start to fall for each other during the summer nonetheless but say nothing. knowing mc might confess to him on the last day, he breaks their heart 🙈

I AM SO SORRY I HAVE BEEN DELAYED DUE TO LIFE WORK AND JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS TOO MUCH!

we cannot catch a break with this man I swear

he also cant catch a break with us because we just cannot let him be happy until he realises his mistakes

lets go

Lets go with you met Baxter before at the soiree, you had your little dance, and its that textbook fairytale thing and you have a little crush on him for years later

Because come on, that’s pure Victoria slow burn romance right there and of course it features Baxter

You reunite with him 5 years later, and wow okay somehow that crush lasted because you got butterflies just remembering that dance, and you want to get to know him better

He invites you out to go sightseeing, you have a brilliant time and at the end, he asks you to date him

But you aren’t into flings, dating is something serious to you, its meaningful

So you decline him, albeit with a heavy heart

But he is understanding, still wants to keep a friendship with you

And so you start hanging out more often, chatting via sms, he send you photos of where is he and you send them back

(please for the love of everything we are in the age of technology I refuse to believe there wasn’t solid amount of contact and photos being sent around)

Baxter is open with his physical affections, even platonically, and so you kinda take advantage of that and just become that sickly sweet pair of friends that just hang off each other

People tell you both to get a room and you both give them the same excuse

“we are in a room, its called outside” you know, just being little shits

But.

Baxter seems to be more free with his physical affection with you than anyone else

And, wait, did you manage to fluster him buy hugging him sweetly at the fireworks?

Did he just blush when you went to grab his hand after a serious Deep and Meaningful TM to let him know he is doing fine?

You both were stealing glances at each other when either of you didn’t think you were looking when you went to the lodge

He really didn’t want that night to end

And so you think maybe, just maybe this could be more? Maybe you should’ve thought more about rejecting him

The party planning happens, you bake cupcakes into the wee hours in the morning and, wow did he seriously just lick that frosting on your lips with his thumb?

This has to mean something right?

You cant stop the fluttering of your heart, the heat rising to your cheeks, and it seems like he feels the same way

Baxter never blushes, he teases as easy as breathing but right now its like he didn’t even think about what he did, but doesn’t seem to find it in himself to regret it

Why oh why did this have to happen when he is so close to leaving

You refuse to let him leave without even having a dance, and chance for some sweetly romantic time with him

And wasn’t it just so sweet

He couldn’t believe what you did for him, where willing to do, and finally he just lets himself be with you, holding you close, leaves a kiss in your hair, like you are both in your own world and no one can enter it whilst you hold each other like that

It feels like the days after the party are melding into one with how fast they seem to go

Baxter is due to leave soon, you know you cant stop it but for some reason it just hurts knowing you could’ve had something and now you might never have that chance

The beach get together was bittersweet, the time has come to start with your new life, uni and work and all the scary things, its time to start that adventure

And there you are

In the middle of the street with Baxter, saying your goodbyes

Arms wrapped around each other, wishing you didn’t have to let go

But you just cant, you cannot bring yourself to say it, instead, you finally tell him

You wish you had more time, you wish you could turn back the clock and say yes to him when he asked you out

The last 3 months have been one of the best summers you have had and its all because he reappeared into your life!

Is there any hope that maybe you could have something long distance with him, sure Virginia is on the other side of the country but, there is nothing stopping you both being able to keep contact at least

And he just freezes

No words, nothing

He lets you go, looking anywhere but you

“No.”

He whispers it, so gently you almost didn’t hear him

But you did

You don’t want to believe what he said, so you try to ask him again and he just stops you

“No.” Its firm this time, and he looks you in the eyes

He looks sad, frustrated, disappointed (in himself or you?)

“This isn’t going to happen. I am leaving, and its for good. I – I never intended for this to happen. Please, go home and forget me.”

He turns away, but not before he sees the tears streaming down your face

You are numb, you don’t know what to say

You bared your heart to him and he didn’t care

All the signs, all the times you laughed with each other, held each other, flirted and everything in between

Did it really mean nothing to him?

You couldn’t say a word as you watched him go back to his condo and close the door behind him without saying another word

You cant see what he does on the other side of that door, as you walk back to your room to deal with your breaking heart

As you cry on your own bed, wondering if this would still have of happened if you didn’t reject him, where you always on the way to have your heart broken regardless

And as you are wondering all of this with a bleeding heart

You cant see that when he went back inside, he dropped to the ground, hand covering his mouth to stop the sound of his cries escaping into the night

You cant see as the tears pour down his face when he realizes that he has broken your heart and his own in the process

That he is hating himself for what he has done but cannot regret even a moment spent with you because it was bliss

You cant see him cry himself dry, knees brought to his chest as he weeps on the floor of his very cold condo

And when he is done, he wont be able to genuinely smile for months if not years to come because he left his smile with you, along with his heart, at Sunset Bird

#baxter ward #our life beginnings and always #olba #our life #olba baxter #olba mc #baxter x mc #our life headcannons #meow asks!

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m4ndysk4nkovich · 4 months

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OMG PLEASE SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT IAN AND JEFF ANYTIME.

literally every time I listen to grace, Ian listening to this album pops into my head 😭😭

who else do you think he can listen to? maybe lana(omg i headcanon that him and debbie talked about her music and she didn't expect that he knows her lmao), nirvana, the doors or something? I completely ignore his taste in the show too🫡🫡

oh anon i am so late to this and i apologize😭 i have no excuse other than laziness so… anyways!

ian definitely would like jeff buckley. i know that for a fact. i know that john wells showed us him listening to like… techno shit and lady gaga which is fine, but i don’t see him listening to that, i see everything that you listed, jeff buckley, lana del rey, nirvana, the doors, possibly oasis (based on carl’s shirt in 1x01), and maybe even radiohead (mickey canonically likes radiohead so…).

i could see him liking grace, especially around season 1. like, another thing about ian and his “techno” music taste is that season 1 goes against it because we heard him listening to music in the van and he seemed to value music based on him saying he gave kash cds so that they would be interested in the same things. maybe he showed kash grace? i don’t know, i don’t want kash to know what grace is because i despise him but i could see ian loving that album. i don’t know if he would like sketches for my sweetheart the drunk just because i somehow feel like he wouldn’t have discovered it😭 like maybe later on around season 7 he would’ve listened to it, and if he did, he would like “nightmares by the sea” and “yard of blonde girls”, i think.

i personally associate ian with a few songs on grace, and if this post actually gets any attention and people want to know i could post about it like i did with mickey and nude by radiohead, but here are some songs that remind me of ian/i think ian would like (off of grace):

- lover, you should’ve come over; romantic song, i feel like ian would listen to it and think of mickey because he’s a fucking sap. he would have this song, “at last” (etta james, their wedding song) and some other love songs in a playlist titled “mickey” or something like that. this song i kind of associate with mickey in season 4/5, just because of how much of a hopeless romantic he is, but mickey would probably not listen to jeff buckley. early seasons ian would probably resonate with this song a lot, especially in season 2/3 when his love for mickey is growing stronger and it’s making him a bit miserable at the same time. the whole “so i’ll wait for you, love, and i’ll burn” thing reminds me of both of them, but especially season 2/3 ian because he was kind of always left waiting for mickey to the point where it started to really break him. just the intense feeling of love in this song is so ian and it’s just… such a beautiful song and also gallavich coded i can’t even

- forget her; ian’s feelings towards mickey in seasons 6-8. i think people often look down on ian for how he felt about mickey in those seasons, and i understand why, but i also feel so awful for ian because the way he acted was so clearly him just trying to forget. wanting to push down all feelings he had for mickey and pretend that the situation was something it wasn’t because he undoubtedly has avoidant attachment issues (which i want to talk about more in depth sometime). “don’t fool yourself, she was heartache from the moment that you met her” is so ian, there is no way he went into that relationship and thought it would all end up okay. whether we’re talking about ian or mickey being the “heartache”. because ian always expected mickey to get himself thrown away again, and ian always expected himself to fuck things up. so he goes out with other men and he convinces himself he’s okay when he’s not, that he’s over mickey when he’s not, he has this whole façade on and not many people could see through it, but the second mickey saw him in season 7 (or even in the visit in season 6) he saw through it. the lyrics “oh, i think i’ve forgotten her now” remind me of ian’s date with caleb or just the whole caleb thing in general where he’s clearly trying to be someone he’s not and saying things he wouldn’t have said.

- lilac wine; season 3 ian. but like, 3x06-3x11 ian. the downfall, the heartbreak, the start of it all. “i lost myself on a cool, damp night, i gave myself in that misty light, was hypnotized by a strange delight under a lilac tree”, really just reminds me of the aftermath of 3x06 on ian’s part. the way he started to change, and drink, and cry. he was hurt, physically and mentally, and i don’t know how to really explain these lyrics in association with him during that time they just are ian. the whole song is kind of just like, drinking and missing someone. “lilac wine is sweet and heady, where's my love? lilac wine, i feel unsteady, where's my love? listen to me, why is everything so hazy? isn’t that she, or am i just going crazy, dear?” ian at the wedding, or after the wedding. just 3x11 in general. he’s drunk/hungover throughout the entire episode, and it’s really the start of it all. i mean, i think that everything had started a few episodes before that, but to me, that was the first episode where i saw ian and was like “holy shit”. he missed mickey, he drank a lot, and he was just so fucking heartbroken.

- dream brother; this song always reminds me of ian when i listen to it and i don’t even know how to explain it. i think a big part of it could be the fact that it’s believed this song is about child abandonment, and not only that, but also self destruction. two things ian knows a lot about. “her green eyes blew goodbyes, with her head in her hands” reminds me so much of monica leaving in season 1. not only that, but the look ian gave her. the way his eyes looked everytime they landed on her. it’s so heartbreaking and that lyric really reminds me of that. another thing about this song is that it apparently was a warning for his (jeff buckley’s) friend not to walk out on his pregnant girlfriend because it reminded him of what his father did, which is why the song says, “don’t be like the one who made me so old”. to me, that’s ian to lip. specifically in 7x08, which is one of my favorite episodes/scenes ever and i have talked about it so many times. how the scene where lip grabs ian is a direct parallel to when frank headbutts ian, and how ian looks at lip the same way he looks at frank. how ian advises lip not to drink before ian goes off to prison, and like, i don’t know, how they both have always kind of worried about ending up like frank and monica, the people who hurt them both so much. “they're waiting for you like i waited for mine; and nobody ever came” just reminds me of how ian looked when monica hugged debbie and carl in season 1. when she says “please let me be your mommy again” you can tell that ian’s heard that 1000 things and he’s absolutely crushed.

i definitely think he would listen to lana del rey, and i intend on making a separate post about that (i also started a series on ao3 of shameless oneshots inspired by lana del rey but it’s on a quick hiatus because again, i’m a lazy fuck), he reminds me a lot of her album (or ep, i guess) paradise. especially the songs ride and cola. if he were to listen to her he’d definitely be a local but he would love the songs he knows. debbie definitely got him into her because i’ve literally made a whole in-depth post about why debbie is a lana fan (it’s basically canon, especially considering debbie’s age and her marina phase) and so she would introduce her to him. maybe ian has lana songs on that playlist i was talking about?? who knows

i could definitely see him liking nirvana, that’s pretty realistic and it makes sense for him. i made a post about ian and territorial pissings and i honestly could make a lot of connections between ian and nirvana, too. it’s worth mentioning that kurt cobain was bipolar and he had songs about it, and those songs always seem to remind me of ian (like lithium).

anyway… i said a lot more than i had intended, but like i said, i really like doing meta about characters regarding music so should i post more of that??

#mickey is ‘so real’ coded btw #shameless #ian gallagher #jeff buckley #lana del rey #nirvana #character analysis #grace jeff buckley #shameless meta #meta #shameless analysis #music #mickey milkovich #debbie gallagher #lip gallagher #monica gallagher #kash karib #gallavich meta

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khaleesiofalicante · 21 days

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Well, that was some plot twist, can I just say that Cami and Antoine were the real MVPs of this chapter? I loved every single thing they did and said in this chapter and I really really hope we see more of Antoine and Abigail, they are the only sane couple of this story (at least for now).

But I have soo many thoughts!

Most of the next generation, especially the kids you chose, to live in the same building has got to be one of my favourite plot twists. I'm shooketh. This has so much potential. Regine and Arthur? Kincaid wooing Arthur? Kincaid and Joan training and Arthur with Regine thirsting after them? Regine working through her feelings and becoming a better person? Lance witnessing Kincaid being a decent person and maybe being somewhat similar to him? Them hiding from the adoring crowd to a closet or something? Theia and Kincaid being amazing siblings in law? That storyline is a major game changer and I'm thrilled to see how you'll explore it!

I love love love Gwen and I'm so glad she's back! And telling Lucifer to respect Lance? Queen behavior right there

Does every Knightstorm have to be a bigoted nightmare? Blood supremacist, homophobe, what's next? No offence Mikkel but we have enough problems to worry about without you trying to create a cult. On a side note, super stoked to see what happened to him and Hermes. I have a feeling they used to be close? And most likely it was platonic but maybe a little romantic too? Maybe?👀

Here are some things that feel like they're connected (but probably aren't): 1)Theia mentions in LBAF 5 that she "sees" Lance dating a mundane blonde girl, like a Barbie girl, which reminds me of Regine 2)It's been mentioned a lot that Regine/Lance were going to be married/parabatai by Madeleime when they were kids a lot 4)Arthur sees Lance with a parabatai rune. I honestly don't even have an actual theory about this, those things just seem to connect?

Speaking of the parabatai rune, if Lance and Arthur don't end up becoming parabatai(I can see Atlas figuring the runes problem) Kincaid and Lance kind of make sense? Not because they are close but because parabatai are supposed to share a soul. And both Kincaid's and Lance's soul is Arthur. So, in a way they're already sharing a soul.

Another crazy theory: The prophecy isn't talking about Lance/Kincaid but about Lucifer/Micheal and Lance and Kincaid clash is just the beginning of the war between the other two. Or when Kincaid burns Lance, it would destroy the pandemonium but Lance would live, and it would be the prince of darkness' demise because he would no longer be a portal? Or even that it would destroy Lucifer and not Lance? Can Kincaid use heavenly fire to hurt Lucifer?👀

I was so convinced that Joseph would come back I just had a feeling! Oh, I can't wait to see his interaction with Madeleine and how he reacts to what he hears everything she has done. I can see Madeleine believing that it's not really Joseph or at first believing it and after he tells her what she's doing is insane, her being convinced it's a ploy by Lance. But that means his death is a canon event 😭

I am DYING just picturing how the conversation between Max and David planning the trial went. How they came up with using the alliance rune. That would've been an amazing scene, I love these two

Okay, while it was very in character, the Lance/Max interaction I didn't like. Because I feel like Max should have listened to Lance. He was the only person Lance would've told the actual reason to. The only person that could assure Lance that what he did was pointless. He did the same thing with Magnus in LBAF II and the "I hurt the people I love so they should stay away from me" mentality Lance has adopted screams Max so he really should've heard him out. Because it wasn't a "bullshit excuse" it was an actual reason that makes Lance feel bad about himself. And Max had an opportunity to comfort him and ruined it. But Lance needed a good whooping. I hope he talks to David about this. Let David do the comforting part.

Lance being happy about Arthur breaking up with Kincaid, while completely understandable and in character also feels wrong. He should've asked, because Arthur is so terrified and when Lance shut Theia out it was because of very similar reasons. But he wasn't alone in it. He had Gwen and Arthur. Arthur is alone. And he doesn't deserve that. And for a really long time he chose it. He hid it from other people. But now they know. So they have a say in it. To question, to help , to support him. They have an opening now and I really hope they take it. David asking why Arthur broke up with Kincaid made me so happy. I really hope he questions Arthur a little deeper about it. Because Lance and Max won't. And I get why. But someone has to. David really is holding them all together isn't he?

Every other villan in this story doesn't hold a candle to Lucifer. The guy is not here to fuck around. He kept to the point, he didn't have unnecessary dramatics. I can really see why he is considered the smartest out of all of them. Again, he DOES NOT fuck around. And that was crystal clear when Lance said he hates feeling unwanted and Lucifer made it sound like he doesn't want him. He used his insecurity against him and whether he meant it or not it was a very strong start for him to manipulate Lance. Never underestimate Lucifer indeed.

On a happier note, a small reminder that this isn't the first time Lance gives Theia flowers! But it's the first time they reach her-bad Kincaid

I live in Dream Denial Daydream world. It's like Barbie's world, except in this world all the good guys that came back to life can stay with zero consequences and only the assholes have to return to the dead. Some of them sooner than others. Pwease🥺

The Magnus changing the canon event- his dreams going away- Max treating Alec like that are things I have locked away in a little box and I refuse to revisit them until we get to LBAF 7. But Magnus not having these dreams makes me super worried about Other Magnus and the epilogue will probably let us know about what happened. I am so scared about that🙃

I can't believe that we are getting to the end of the first part! It was a wild ride and I loved every minute of it. Anxiously waiting for the epilogue and then it's back to Mavid fluff, I can't wait🥰

AHHHH LBAF ASK FROM VICKY. HEHEHE I LOVE THESE.

Cami and Antoine are indeed the MVPs. Really out there doing what needs to be done. We'll definitely see Antoine and Abby more...Maybe on a double date 👀

This is one of my favourite things about the next season (yeah I am saying it now too). I've been waiting to bring them all together. There's just gonna be a lot of bonding and I'm soooo pumped about it hehe.

Gwen, we missed you 🥹

Knightstorms being cunts, who else is surprised? Hermes and Mikkel is platonic I swear 🤣

They are not connected hehe. But then again I lie all the time so who knows?

Lance having a parabatai is hilarious to me idk why he'll be like "tying my soul to someone ew" But i'd love that for him

I've heard this theory before. I must say it's quite popular 👀

I remember when Joseph died, I let it slip that it's a canon event, I'm glad none of yall remember it kdjnkjsnjkdcs

I NEED A ONE-SHOT.

You're very right about this. It's in character, but it's also not the sensible thing to do. I feel like Other Max would've handled this before (he thinks with his head whereas Current Max very much still thinks with his heart)

Same thing. In character, but like bro why did you do that? I think Lance might have been too relieved to think too deeply about it. But maybe he'll start noticing how the break up affects Arthur? When mavid find out Arthur broke up with Kincaid, Max asks 'when' and David asks 'why' - a small hint there that David is indeed worried and doesn't understand why Arthur would do that. Hopefully they'll have a chat.

Lucifer 🫡

YOU REMEMBERED!

Wouldn't that be nice oof

Yeah all of it not good. very bad. terrible.

Wild ride is definitely right. Thank you for sticking with me through it 🥹🧡

#lbaf

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intersexdabi · 1 year

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mmm. i'm really feeling the hate for hawks in my blood, so let's talk about a civilian league au where touya takes good things from hawks's life. <3 what abouuuuut jin being recently released from prison after a string of robberies from some years ago. and after getting to know jin and using the excuse that he's doing this to keep an eye on him to the commission, he and jin become roommates and friends. but despite falling for jin, refuses to date him on the basis that he was a former villain and that's not a good look. he point blank tells jin this, who's obviously deeply hurt but ultimately says he understands.

cue touya, who hawks hates and vice versa. they don't get along, to put it simply. hawks basically worships the ground endeavor walks on and touya hates endeavor. and while hawks would be content with just avoiding his idol's eldest son, touya won't miss an opportunity to be a hateful little shit. and when touya sees that hawks has moved in with a former member of the top ten most wanted, he's naturally a little bit curious. and when he presses keigo for details, he, uh, gets no answers. but when he mentions what endeavor might think about him dating bubaigawara, keigo very quickly clarifies that they are friends. and touya, who is socially inept due to his self-isolation during childhood, believes him (rather disappointingly).

HOWEVER... touya still sees this as a golden opportunity to mess with endeavor, at least. so, using the excuse that he knows keigo because of his father, he introduces himself to jin. makes a proposition. he tells jin that his father would absolutely HATE if he dated a (former) villain as high profile as him, and if he'd be willing to play a dating game with him. in exchange, he'd take jin out for free meals, drinks, movies, etc. (courtesy of daddy dearest's money of course!) jin agrees because 1. hilarious 2. he only has keigo as a friend and keigo keeps him at arm's distance so this would let him have some fun and 3. free stuff.

except they really hit it off. jin understands touya far better than anyone ever has. he's surprisingly tender and makes touya feel... he's not sure. but it's good. and for the first time, jin feels accepted. sure, touya used his bank robberies as the reason to get to know him, but touya doesn't think less of him. whenever jin says such and such, touya jumps in. tells him that his old manager was an asshole, that a kid like him shouldn't have had to work so young. touya's long become disillusioned with hero society, what with having a bastard father as one of the top heroes. it makes it easier to see through the bullshit (only after enduring the burns up on a certain mountain peak, whose lush plant life has recovered mostly to its former glory).

anyway. endeavor is indeed embarrassed and ashamed, though touya's lost interest in his father's opinion on the matter. it's inevitable this will become public knowledge at some point, so, rather shockingly, enji tries to... accept this. especially at the behest of his youngest, who, along with his two other children, think that it's great touya's actually found someone to connect with.

still, enji's not shouting it from the rooftops. and jin has been discreet with keigo because he knows that his friend and boyfriend don't exactly get along. and jin's the forgiving type, if the transgression is against him and not someone he loves, at least. but his friendship with keigo has a bit of a sour note nowadays, because jin's mentioned some of the things keigo's said, especially regarding the potential romantic tension that keigo quickly killed. things that weren't outright awful, but questioned jin's worthiness of love and companionship due to his past. and touya tells him that if keigo was a real friend, he wouldn't say shit like that.

but even so, keigo did help him get back on his feet after he was released. even gave him a decent loan to earn certification (in smth idk what tbh) with a very generous and lax repayment policy, a loan that touya plans to pay off so jin can cut ties with him if he so chooses.

and as for keigo, he's at the end of a months-long soul-searching journey in which he realizes that rejecting jin was a huge mistake. that he can't live his life entirely by the design of the commission, and for endeavor's approval (plus, he heard that touya's dating a guy, too, and endeavor doesn't seem to take such issue with it). so one day he decides to head home early, so he'll catch jin before bedtime.

but when he arrives... there's jin with touya fucking todoroki in his lap. it's a surprise for both keigo and jin, but, well, it was bound to happen eventually. and keigo has to sit there, while jin explains everything, eyes all lovey dovey and entirely fixed on touya. touya, of all fucking people. but while jin is transfixed by how pretty touya is, touya takes notice of the very split second look of horror and soul-crushing despair that flashes across keigo's face. and he is so fucking giddy. he doesn't know if hawks lied or changed his mind, but he couldn't be happier. touya loves jin, that much he's sure, and the end result would be the same either way. but the fact that he gets to take him away from keigo? oh what a sweet, sweet bonus.

touya makes a big show of it. cupping jin's face and rubbing their noses just like jin loves. hands prickled as he lovingly caresses across jin's stubble. prompts jin, who tells keigo that he and touya are going to move in together once the lease is up. but they'll talk about it more later, because he's having dinner with the todoroki family (endeavor included) and they're gonna be late if they don't get going. touya's the last one out the door and he shoots keigo the most smug fucking look, chuckles just a little bit, and shuts the door, leaving keigo in the empty apartment.

#dabitwice #also touya gets endeavor to cancel meeting with hawks #he'll show enji just a smidge of kindness and offer to spend time with his old man #and endeavor will immediately jump at the chance since touya never does that #(oh how the tables have turned)#and if that means he'll bail on hawks then he'll bail on hawks

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wheeler-beretta-harwood · 2 years

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I love Cash but my 2nd Husband is Brian Pillman Jr. :) Can you write something for me?

Sweetheart, thanks for the request. Honestly, Brian Pillman Jr. was not someone I had on my list, but I really enjoyed writing this. (Sorry, it's a bit short)

Fucking Finally (Brian Pillman Jr. x Reader)

"Fucking finally", you mumbled to yourself as you watched the aftermath of the match unfold on the TV backstage. You had waited for months now for Julia to finally snap and betray Griff and Brian. Of course, you didn't want them to get hurt, these were your boys after all. But you had wanted her to be out of the picture, and if it meant her joining House of Black, then so be it.

You couldn't really remember when it happened, but at some point, a few months back, you realized you were jealous of her. She got to spend all this time with Brian. Yeah, you were friends with Varsity Blondes, too, but not to the extent that Julia was. She was with them ALL THE DAMN TIME. No matter how hard you had tried to talk to Brian alone, she always seemed to float around as well, interrupting each and every conversation. And the two weren't even a couple, they were just friends - at least that's what they said. You didn't fully believe them, all because of Julia's clinginess.

So when the black mist incident happened and she was out for some weeks, you were actually scared at how happy it made you. You could FINALLY spend some time with the two guys without her eyes burning holes in the back of your head. You hung out with them a lot, and the little crush you already had on Brian turned into full-on being in love with the man. He was funny, charming, caring, and sweet - everything a girl could ask for.

And here you were now, watching live how Julia was corrupted by Malakai Black, forever out of the picture with Varsity Blondes. You had to thank the spooky man some day. Or not, he's way too creepy.

When they came back from the ring, they were beyond angry, especially Brian was fuming.

God, he was ridiculously hot when he was pissed off. "I can't believe it! Did you see that, Y/N?! She really thought about hitting Griff with that chair!" His mullet threw around every time he took a turn while pacing back and forth in front of you. Griff rubbed his neck before excusing himself to the medical rooms. He must've landed poorly.

"Brian." You said softly before getting in the way to stop him in his tracks.

"What?!" He replied through gritted teeth.

"It's not your fault. You couldn't have done anything about it. Some things just happen. People change." You tried to reason with him while lifting your hand up to cup his face. He was surprised by the intimacy of the gesture, you had never done anything like that before. And he was actually scared at how well you knew him. He did blame himself for it. He probably should have paid more attention to Julia, not on you. But he just enjoyed your company so much more.

"People don't change, Y/N. Something like that could never happen to you. You're way too loyal and.....pure." Then he leaned against your hand and closed his eyes. If this was the only romantic moment he'd ever get with you, he better make good use of it.

You almost felt bad for being happy about Julia gone. He thought you were pure. PURE.

But you also felt confident enough now to admit your feelings to him.

"I would never betray you, Brian. You're way too special for me." His eyes fluttered open, filled with curiosity.

"How special?" The corners of his mouth moved upward, a boyish charm taking over his features. He was so pretty, and he didn't even know it.

Instead of answering him with words, your mouth decided on something else. Before your brain even knew it, your fingers intertwined around his neck and pulled him down for a passionate kiss, pouring in all the emotions that had bottled up over time. You didn't want to ever let go of him again, but eventually, you needed to get some air. When your lips left his, he was sighing weakly. "That special?"

You bit your lip before sheepishly nodding your head. "Yep. That special."

As soon as he heard those words, he smiled brighter than the sun before he moved closer to peck your lips over and over again.

"Finally!" Griff was standing in the doorway, holding an ice pack to his neck, looking at the two of you. "Took longer than I expected."

"Way to ruin an intimate moment!" Brian yelled at him, but all three of you knew he was kidding. You laughed before capturing his lips once more, unable to keep your hands - and mouth - off of him now.

Griff was right. Fucking finally.

#aew #aew imagine #all elite wrestling imagine #Brian Pillman Jr x Reader #brian pillman jr imagine #Brian Pillman Jr

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moss-flesh · 1 year

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Bren!! I'm hella late, but for the OTP Relationship Asks - 5, 7, 17, 25, and 34 for both Ailistair and Solalen?

Viper !! dont worry i appreciate all asks esp late ones!! these were so good it took me a bit to think of these !!! Love love love these asks! ALSO sorry this took so long i fricken did them all for a different ask post on accident and so i hadda redo these !!!

Solalen first !

5. What is their love language?

oh quality time <3!!! they love just being around one another that’s honestly all they need. They read together or maybe solas will do some mural painting and ada will be on the couch carving!! they must be near one another must must must. God that makes it so much more painful thinking of them avoiding one another after the crestwood cave incident™️. Also i think words of affirmation for sure, more geared towards adahlen. every time solas compliments her or praises her she fuckin loses it !!! like “oh!!!!??? he said i made a smart observation?? i guess i did !! tehehe”, those vibes!

7. Who is more sentimental?

Adahlen definitely 🥺 shes such a sentimental little baby. shes always bringing back keepsakes from their travels. like perhaps theyre having a very calm day in the hinterlands, you bet your ass shes gonna pick up that pretty rock she sees and keep it forever because it reminds her of that one lovely day. I feel like Solas is also very sentimental but she def takes the medal.

17. Who fell in love first?

Adahlen since like first getting to skyhold. She has never been in love before, never even had a boyfriend. So she didnt really understand why she wanted to talk to him all the time. Why she wanted his guidance or thoughts on everything. Why the thought of him not being able to or worse not wanting to come on their next trip made her upset. She knew she blushed when he was around and struggled with her words and according to Nerien (elven bestie) those are signs of loveeee but that couldnt be it right ?? And even if it was “sighhh he wont want me…” Until for basically the first time in her life she pulls a fuck it move and kisses him. she kinda just “oh?! oh… oh no.” Solas obvi realllyyy really likes her but out of fear i dont think he allows the thought of love to escape until its banging down the door. I think he realizes when he takes some time away after his spirit friend dies.

25. Who’s the most stubborn?

Probably Solas! Adahlen usually has the conviction of a wet noodle and she struggles a lot not being a pushover especially with her new roll as inquisitor. Shes stubborn occasionally and allows herself to be so as time goes on and she realizes she will not be burned at the stake for stating her wishes. Solas has shown himself to be very stubborn i think theyre both interesting in that way. And he is always trying to get her to stick up for herself and not be swayed by others. Pretty opposite in that aspect.

34. Do they give each other nicknames?

(i hadda look for these so excuse them if theyre a little blatant i dont speak elvhen sadly)

YEZ!!! the usual vhenan, my love, and my heart for both. When theyre being extra romantic, Solas calls Adahlen Da’lath’in (little heart or a term for someone who is very loving and emotional), or Gaildahlas: The elvhen word for embrium. which is kinda like calling someone sweetie, or Ma’blarteralas: My mountain flower. they stick to elvhen usually! But on occasion he calls her Rosy like Varric does to tease her and kind of gets use to it. Ada tends to call solas Ma’sa’lath (my one love), Fenor (precious), Arasha: My happiness, she is oh so very romantic and lovey and she tends to use these more elaborate ones often.

Now !!! Ailistair !!

5. What is their love language?

ohhhh!! i think acts of service, theyre constantly protecting one another, always doing little things for one another like noticing one of their armor straps is lose and tightening it. They cook for one another, wash stuff for one another, dress the wounds of the other!!! Also gift giving they literally cant stop giving things to one another it’s ridiculous, alistairs little charms for her necklace, her flowers and little toys to him!! its constant!

7. Who is more sentimental?

I feel theyre equally sentimental but Alistair shows it and Aila usually doesnt. She’s honestly embarrassed about showing how she feels especially lovey dovey stuff so her little collection of gifts she keeps to herself for a while, but she presses the rose he gives her into her notebook and keeps it literally forever, a few years after DAO he sees it when hes watching her search her notes and is so happy about it !! hes like “is that?? is that the rose!? from lothering ??? you still have it ??” and shes blushing and pouting like “yeah so what! what am i gonna do throw it away ? im not heartless 🙄” he just “dawww i love you too<3 so much!.” Alistair is completely unashamed of his love for her, he gets embarrassed about like intimate stuff lol but whenever aila would get him things like a little griffon toy hed show it off to anyone he possibly could!!

17. Who fell in love first?

i think i answered this before so lemme put that here cos i think i liked what i said ! Actually this was when did they realize they loved eachother but theyre kinda similar in the way i answer so ill put this here!

Alistair sustains that he loved her the whole time but Aila calls bullshit and always tries to get him to tell her when it happened exactly. He did say one time that he hadnt realized it until after they went to redcliffe. He told her he was a royal bastard and she still liked him, she barely gave a shit in fact. she even went out of her way to protect Arl Eamond and his family, though she had a blatant dislike for them. Once all that was over and he got back to camp his brain would not leave him alone and just kept replaying their interactions together and it was like he got punched in the face. He knew he liked her but thats when he was like oh maker im so SCREWED! According to Aila it happened to her around the same time. Heres this guy that she thinks is handsome and funny, oh whatever might as well flirt and enjoy his company while we go through hell together, its not serious. But then they just have the best chemistry and begin to develop something more, which she has literally never experienced as circle mages tend not to risk love. Still shes lying to herself like “hah i totally could stop if i wanted to.” And then they went to redcliffe and she continues lying to herself like “yeah sure i could do this an easier way but that would be dumb haha, going back to the circle is much smarter haha..” so then she returns to the circle relives some trauma, and oh yeah kills a specific abusive templar who was being attacked by demons in front of everyone and then doesn’t let anyone ask about it. ANYWAY she gets a little unhinged during the circle quest, but she realizes he still sees her the same way. Hes not scared of her, he doesnt think shes cruel, he still looks at her adoringly, and then he gives her the rose and its all over for her. Thats when shes like oh no… i love him.

25. Who’s the most stubborn?

oh my goddd Aila definitely wins in this. Alistair is obviously very stubborn from what weve seen but she is the queen of it. the only thing that will make her budge is probably some sad desperation. She has a really big heart to her dismay. they almost never argue, if they do its about simple things or probably the safety of one another. When they do argue about something its often a stalemate for a while, usually alistair is the one who gives in lol he ends up growing tired of it and wanting wifey kisses again.

34. Do they give each other nicknames?

Sorta! Both of them use “love” and “my love” mostly but sometimes they add others. when they first were acquainted Aila would call him “chantry boy” to tease him, he then graduated to “pretty boy” then “my dearest husband” expressed in a silly way. When shes not joking around she switches between “love”, “my love”, “dearest”, and “ali”.

Alistair loves all kinds of nicknames for her and tries a lot of different ones out. As i said “love” and “my love” are the usual. he uses “my dear” “sweetness” “sweetie” “honey” “darling” and when hes feeling silly “my hero” “dearest wife” “minx” and many others! i think he loves surprising her with new outlandish things to call her!!

#ailistair #solalen #solas #adahlen lavellan #alistair #aila amell #otp asks #oc asks

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lqvcrz-inc · 2 years

Text

The Story.

- lowercase intended. yeonjun and beomgyu. hs(?)au. inspired by 'the story' by conan gray and romeo and juliet. two boys in love with homophobic families. tws: suicide, homophobia, abuse. other warnings: talk of food/eating. major angst, some fluff + humor.

A/N: FIRST, this little fic is definitely NOT slow burn. slow burn is too...slow. so expect some bad pacing. and second, i've been wanting to write for a while and i'm not gonna lie, i started reading 'under the sky in room 553 i discovered you and i' again and got inspired...you know my fortè is angst so <3 also, i don't ship these two romantically although their friendship is so precious to me. but yes, these two + angst = yes. alright anyways i apologize in advance. (i've been working on this since like the 4th of july of 2022...it's 11:05 p.m on february 28th rn...)

Yeonjun wasn't one for romance. in fact, he tried to avoid it at all costs. the shows, the movies, the books - everything about it. his life revolved around two things, school life and home life. if he had to have a reason, he would say it was because he never understood it. he never understood why everything was based on the concept of romance. perhaps it was because he had never once had a girlfriend.

or was it the way his parents had explained it to him? a man and a woman, meant to be with each other for eternity. they were supposed to get married, have children, and spend the rest of their lives together. the guy gets the girl and they live happily ever after. it was all so confusing to him and in the end, plain out meaningless. it could have been that, maybe, he just hadnt found the one yet. or, as he suspected, it was that love was a made up phenomenon. to him, it was an excuse that people made so they wouldn't have to die alone.

Choi Beomgyu was, as his friends called him, a hopeless romantic; he was in love with love itself. the idea of finding the one made him think things he would never dare speak aloud. the thought of having to do so made him want to sew his mouth shut, so that the possibility became impossible. he loved having something to hold on to. that something being the hope that one day, he would find his other half; his soulmate. he knew that everyone had that one special person. as time went on, though, he began questioning whether or not he did.

day after day he would make sure he looked presentable. he would carry bandaids with him because what if his soulmate was the girl who fell and skinned her knee? he carried hand sanitizer because what if the girl on the subway who taps his shoulder and asks to use some was the girl he was looking for? what if, on a cold day, his soulmate forgot her jacket and it was his chance to give his to her?

what if the roles were reversed and instead, he was the boy who forgot his jacket on a cold day. what if instead of Beomgyu, it was Yeonjun who would give his jacket to his soulmate.

---

on a particularly cold day in march, beomgyu had awoken 10 minutes after his alarm had gone off. he rushed around his room collecting his things before grabbing his backpack and running to his bus stop. it wasn't until he was seated on the bench did he realize that his jacket had been forgotten, still hanging over his chair from the day before. he shivered and wrapped his arms around himself, cursing as he did so. had march always been so cold?

beomgyu took his backpack off and set it beside him. he grabbed his phone out of his pocket and opened instagram, thinking that maybe this would distract him from the cold. as he scrolled mindlessly through meaningless posts he noticed the sound of footsteps approaching. he looked up and noticed choi yeonjun, a classmate of his. he looked back down at his phone choosing to ignore the boy.

when yeonjun approached the bench he stood still for what beomgyu thought was eternity. as the awkward seconds ticked by, the silence was interrupted by yeonjun clearing his throat.

"is uh...is this seat taken?"

beomgyu looked up and saw yeonjun pointing at his backpack. he shook his head and moved the bag, making room for yeonjun to sit down.

"thanks."

beomgyu nodded.

yeonjun sat down on the bench and took his bag off, placing it down by his feet. he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his phone. beomgyu watched as he pulled the headphones that were around his neck up over his ears. after a few seconds, beomgyu could hear the faint sound of music playing. he turned his attention back to his phone.

after a while beomgyu sighed and turned his phone off, placing it on his lap. he put his hands together and brought them up to his mouth, breathing into them so that his breath could warm them up. he rubbed them together for a few moments before rubbing his arms, the regret of forgetting his jacket seeping deeper and deeper into his body as the cool air blew against him.

yeonjun took notice of the younger males actions and a small frown appeared on his face. had he forgotten his jacket? the awkwardness of their exchanged words from before drove yeonjuns attention away from beomgyu's bare arms. but now that there was no tension, his arms had yeonjun's attention.

as the song he was listening to ended, yeonjun took his headphones off and set them on the bench. he slipped his phone into his back pocket before standing up and taking his jacket off. he reached his arm out and offered the piece of clothing to beomgyu, who was eyeing yeonjun curiously.

beomgyu's eyes widened as he realized what was happening. he shook his head, "i can't take that."

yeonjun just rolled his eyes. "yes you can. i mean, i dont see a reason you can't - i'm offering it to you so the least you could do is take it."

it wasn't as if yeonjun and beomgyu were strangers. they had common friends and went to the same school so it would be hard not to know of each other. albeit this, they had never really spoken before due to the fact that they were opposites. yeonjun was a math guy, beomgyu an english guy. beomgyu was the type to stay home from a party while yeonjun was the one throwing the party. it wasn't like they had never tried to talk before it just always ended up in an awkward silence; they couldn't find common ground.

beomgyu sighed before taking the jacket. he had no reason to decline it and after all, he was cold.

he thanked the older male and yeonjun just smiled and nodded in reply. he sat back down and the both of them continued with what they were doing before.

beomgyu was thankful for yeonjun and his selflessness. he was thankful that Yeonjun wasn't the type to ignore the needs of those around him. he thought of the simple gesture and smiled to himself.

he was kinda glad that march was cold.

---

it had been three days since beomgyu last saw yeonjun. it had been three days since yeonjun had given beomgyu his jacket. he hadn't been to school since then and if he was being honest, beomgyu was a bit worried. it wasn't out of the norm for students to miss days but yeonjun was hardly ever absent. he missed maybe 3 days max but that was throughout the whole year, not a whole week.

he wasn't sure why he was worried, he had never been that way before. beomgyu suspected that it was because he still had yeonjun's jacket. he had washed it and it was now neatly folded in his backpack. he was worried that the boy had gotten sick due to the cold weather and felt bad. he would apologize when yeonjun came back.

as he made his way to his locker, beomgyu noticed yeonjun's friends, kai and taehyun, sitting on the floor. he tilted his head, contemplating before putting his books away and grabbing the ones he needed for his next class. he closed his locker and shook his head. he thought about asking them about yeonjun. he would ask them if they knew why he had been absent so much lately. would that be weird? probably. what if he told them the circumstances?

"see a few days ago i left my jacket at my house and when we were at the bus stop he gave me his jacket so i was just wondering where he was so i could return it to him"

nah. he sounded too desperate.

---

on the fifth day, beomgyu was making his way up to the roof for lunch when he heard his name being called behind him.

"choi beomgyu! wait up!"

beomgyu glanced behind him and saw yeonjun with his two friends trailing behind him. he had forgotten the jacket.

beomgyu stopped walking to wait for the boys and turned, smiling shyly, "ah, yeonjun. it's been a few days, welcome back!"

yeonjun smiled and beomgyu's faltered, his heart picking up its pace. what happened? was he dying?

"thank you beom. actually, i was gonna ask if you'd like to eat lunch together? i know we don't talk often but we could get to know each other better." he paused and gestured towards his friends. "all of us. maybe we could all be friends?"

beomgyu paused when yeonjun called him by the name that his fellow schoolmates called him. beom. it sounded different when yeonjun said it. beom. he looked down and took a deep breath, exhaling it slowly before looking back up and smiling.

"yeah, cool. that sounds cool." he was just glad yeonjun didn't ask about the jacket.

yeonjun smiled and started walking towards the roof again, opening the door for his friends to walk through first. such a gentlemen, beomgyu thought.

wait. what?

"are you going?" yeonjun asked.

beomgyu nodded, embarrassed. he walked through the door and made his way over to the other two boys who had already sat down and grabbed their things. beomgyu sat beside them and waited for yeonjun before preparing to eat his lunch. he looked over at yeonjun to see the male staring at him. he quickly looked away.

yeonjun wasn't sure why, but he was attracted to beomgyu. he didn't know what it was about the younger male but he felt as though he might implode if he didn't try and befriend beomgyu. he wanted him in his life no matter what and he knew that. he knew the two would become close, he had a strong feeling about it. yeonjun knew that if he were to ever lose beomgyu once that happened, he wasn't sure what he would do with himself.

these feelings and thoughts that he had conflicted him. they went against everything he had spent his whole life believing in. he knew it wasn't love, there was no way. the two boys had interacted such a small number of times that Yeonjun could count them on one hand. but he knew it was something. it was something he had never experienced before.

while they were eating lunch they they talked. they talked about life, their grades, how the weather had been recently. they talked about themselves and got to know each other which mostly consisted of beomgyu talking and everyone talking to him. once the conversation drifted off, beomgyu asked the question he had been saving.

"yeonjun, why did you miss so much school?"

"i ended up catching a cold," he said, "it was probably because of the weather. to be honest, i'm surprised i caught a cold and you didn't. you know, considering you were out there longer than i was."

beomgyu immediately began apologizing profusely but yeonjun just brushed him off. "it's okay beom, i'm okay now. it wasn't anything major, so don't worry about it." yeonjun laughed at the boy who still had an apologetic look on his face. how cute.

that thought made yeonjun freeze. what did he mean by that? that's a weird thing to think about the boy whom he was befriending. he just wanted to be friends with beomgyu, nothing more. just friends. plus, how likely would it be that yeonjun's first crush was a guy?

not likely at all...right?

---

beomgyu sat in his room, staring at the black jacket that was folded at the end of his bed. it had been a week since the incident and he still hadn't returned the clothing to yeonjun. if he was being honest, he was a bit nervous to talk to the boy again, especially after the roof event. he wasn't sure why. maybe it was because the thought of yeonjun caring about him enough to give him his jacket gave beomgyu butterflies. maybe because yeonjun wanting to be his friend made his heart pound. maybe it was because beomgyu didn't understand why that was.

he was sure he had no interest in boys, but yeonjun felt different. he acted different. he presented himself with confidence but it wasn't meant to be taken in a bad way, that's just who he was. he was just yeonjun. different.

he knew that sounded clichè, but it was true. yeonjun was polite and understanding. he was the type to appreciate small gestures rather than the grand gestures. he was the type to take responsibility for something he didn't even do. the more beomgyu thought about it, the more he realized how yeonjun was perfect in almost every way.

it wasn't as if the jacket thing made beomgyu notice yeonjun more, his presence was hard to miss but instead, it felt as if it made him see him in a different light. he realized how amazing yeonjun really was. how caring and hardworking he was. how pretty he was. from his head to his toes, he was just so pretty.

pretty. pretty and perfect.

as beomgyu sat there on his bed and thought about yeonjun more and more, he had two very important realizations that day.

the first thing he realized was that there was no way he was straight.

and the second thing?

the second thing he realized was that he had a crush on choi yeonjun.

---

yeonjun was sitting at his dining room table having dinner with his parents. his mother was in the middle of chewing her food and his father taking a sip of water when the question slipped out,

"is it right for a boy to like a boy? it is, isn't it? i mean, i know people like that and they seem quite happy.."

his mother looked up from her plate, distraught. his father had slammed his cup down and looked at yeonjun, his face showing disgust.

"choi yeonjun, you should know better than to ask such a stupid question. it's unnatural for two men to be in love, it's disgusting even. we've told you a million times, a man and a woman should be together. thats just the way the world works."

his mother nodded before stuffing another bite of food into her mouth.

"i agree, jun. it wasnt what god intended- two men dating. you understand? its just not natural."

"of course," he nodded. "i understand."

yeonjun didn't understand, but he would never say that to his parents.

---

"yeonjun!"

yeonjun, who was sitting at his desk, turned towards the sound of his name being called. once his eyes landed on the younger male behind him, a smile made its way onto his face.

"hello, beomgyu"

beomgyu smiled and bowed slightly, "ah, i'm sorry to bother you, i know you're probably busy with uhm-" beomgyu paused and peaked around yeonjun, making eye contact with kai who was taking selfies with a sleeping taehyun. his eyebrows furrowed in confusion but he continued, "-whatever that is."

yeonjun stared at beomgyu as the younger male muttered out apologies.

"i'm sorry for taking so long but you weren't here for a while so i never got the chance to give it back to you so here"

beomgyu held his arm out, holding yeonjun's jacket in his hand. yeonjun eyed the piece of clothing and another smile appeared on his lips. "you can keep it."

beomgyu's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he processed the other male's words. "i can keep it? but-"

yeonjun chuckled and cut him off, "you can keep that one, i have plenty more. plus, you can keep it in your bag for emergencies like the one from the other day."

beomgyu flushed at the nickname. gyu. if he were being honest, yeonjun could call him anything he wanted and beomgyu would still melt into the floor. gyu.

"gyu?" he asked. "that's a new one."

yeonjun nodded, "yeah, i decided since we were friends now and everyone else called you beom, i could call you gyu. is that okay?"

its more than okay, beomgyu thought.

he smiled, "of course that's okay."

"good." yeonjun said.

yeonjun noticed the way beomgyu's skin turned a pretty pink when he called him that. it made him want to call him that more often. he would call him gyu everyday if it meant he got to see his skin flush and that pretty smile.

his pretty smile. his pretty face. his pretty pink skin.

no. yeonjun thought. it's unnatural. it's disgusting.

he cleared his throat, "if that's all you came for, you can go now"

beomgyu's eyes widened slightly, taken aback by yeonjun's sudden change in tone. he just nodded and said his goodbyes before walking out of yeonjun's classroom and back to his.

what happened? did yeonjun notice the way beomgyu reacted to the new nickname? did he hate it? what if yeonjun found out that beomgyu liked him, in more than just a friendly way? what if he hated beomgyu? what if he told everyone and everyone hated him?

yeonjun could never find out.

---

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