r3lapsing-joy456
Joyful (he/him)
Hello, a big PHAT trigger warning: this is an ED journal. NOT pro Ana but an ED account non the less. Take care of yourself please, I heavily support recovery :)
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When i dont know the exact calories of something i just assume its 1000cals 😃
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Nearly completed my 20 hour fast. I'm so hungry I can't wait to eat but I'm also scared because I feel like complete shit whenever I do eat
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Please, God, can I be one of those people that genuinely forget to eat? 🙏
#ftm ed#tw restriction#anaorexya#i wanna lose weight#male ed#unhealthy weight loss#i will be a skeleton#low cal diet#low cal restriction#i will reach my ugw#tw eating issues#tw disordered eating#i want to be weightless#i will be thinner#🕯️as a 🪶#i want to ⭐️ve#⭐️rve#⭐️ving#⭐️ve#⭐️rving#disordered eating thoughts#eating disoder trigger warning#disordered eating mention#tw ed sheeran#tw cals#tw ed diet#tw ed but not sheeran#tw edtwt#tw ed implied#tw ed descussion
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Who decided putting calories in food was a good idea?
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I always relapse after a few months to a year of recovery, recovery never sticks :/
It's always been up and down up and down since I was 12
This time a part of me is trying to fight the relapse, I'm tired of the cycle
#ftm ed#tw restriction#anaorexya#i wanna lose weight#male ed#unhealthy weight loss#i will be a skeleton#low cal diet#low cal restriction#i will reach my ugw#low cal meal#unhealthy diet#tw eating issues#tw disordered eating#tw cals#tw ed but not sheeran#i want to ⭐️ve#⭐️rve#⭐️ving#⭐️ve#⭐️rving#🕯️as a 🪶#ed not ed sheeran#Not pro just using tags#tw mental health#tw ed sheeran#tw ed diet#ed bllog#tw restrictive ed#edn0s
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I eat when I'm sad and I'm sad when I eat. It's just this big cycle
#ftm ed#tw restriction#anaorexya#i wanna lose weight#male ed#unhealthy weight loss#i will be a skeleton#low cal diet#low cal restriction#i will reach my ugw#low cal meal#unhealthy diet#ftm ana#tw ed sheeran#tw cals#tw eating issues#tw disordered eating#tw ed but not sheeran#i want to be weightless#i will be thinner#disordered eating thoughts#eating disoder trigger warning#🕯️as a 🪶#🕯️as a feather#i want to ⭐️ve#⭐️rve#⭐️ving#⭐️ve#⭐️rving#⭐️vation goals
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Food tastes so good, I'm loosing myself to it
#tw ana diary#tw restrictive ed#ftm ed#tw disordered eating#tw restriction#tw ed diet#ana trigger#anaorexya#anorexcya#i wanna lose weight#tw eating issues#i want to be weightless#i will be thinner#tw ed sheeran#tw cals#male ed#tw ana fast#ftm ana#low cal restriction#i will reach my ugw#unhealthy weight loss#unhealthy diet#ana meal#ana male#ana rant#low cal meal#i will be a skeleton#skinii#skinnni#i want to ⭐️ve
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Watermelon is so mid
#tw ana diary#tw restrictive ed#ftm ed#tw disordered eating#tw restriction#tw ed diet#ana trigger#anaorexya#anorexcya#i wanna lose weight#male ed#ed not ed sheeran#ed not sheeren#ftm ana#ana meal#ana rant#ana male#eating disoder trigger warning#tw cals#tw eating issues#disordered eating thoughts#disordered eating mention#low cal restriction#low cal diet#unhealthy weight loss#low cal meal#ana bllog#i want to ⭐️ve#⭐️rve#⭐️ving
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Found out I'm not pregnant so I can start to loose weight again
Back on track to being a skinny boy finally
#tw ana diary#tw restrictive ed#ftm ed#tw disordered eating#tw restriction#tw ed diet#ana trigger#anaorexya#anorexcya#i wanna lose weight#ftm ana#ana meal#ana male#tw eating issues#tw ed sheeran#tw ed but not sheeran#i want to be weightless#i will be thinner#i will reach my ugw#i will be a skeleton#i wanna be weightless#skinii#skinnni#ana bllog#ed bllog#male ed#ed not ed sheeran#ed not sheeren#disordered eating thoughts#eating disoder trigger warning
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I'm gonna have to start eating again, my birth control is out of date and since idk if I'm pregnant or not, I'm gonna eat again because being a parent and keeping a potential baby healthy means more to me then being skinny.... Is what I would say if the fear of gaining wasn't there.
I don't want to loose all my progress and I'm freaking out. If I'm gonna have a baby, I don't want to fuck them up but I still have an ED. I'm stuck between a rock and a bad situation.
I don't know how to deal with gaining weight and my disorder screaming at me, the crippling dysphoria from pregnancy and everything that comes with it AND having more responsibilities on top of college.
I don't know what to do
#tw ana diary#tw restrictive ed#ftm ed#tw disordered eating#tw restriction#tw ed diet#ana trigger#anaorexya#anorexcya#i wanna lose weight#ana rant#ana meal#ana male#Ftm ana#ed bllog#male ed#ed not ed sheeran#ed not sheeren#i will be a skeleton#skinii#skinnni#ricecakeblr#low cal diet#unhealthy weight loss#low cal meal#i want to ⭐️ve#⭐️rve#⭐️ving#⭐️ve#🕯️as a 🪶
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It's so depressing seeing someone have the same sw as you but their Cw is so much lower the yours, legit makes me feel like shit 🥲
#tw ana diary#tw restrictive ed#ftm ed#tw disordered eating#tw restriction#tw ed diet#ana trigger#anaorexya#anorexcya#i wanna lose weight#low cal diet#unhealthy weight loss#low cal meal#low cal restriction#tw cals#i will be a skeleton#skinii#skinnni#sk1nny aesthetic#tw eating issues#i want to be weightless#i will be thinner#male ed#ana rant#ana meal#ana male#disordered eating thoughts#ed not ed sheeran#ed not sheeren#💡as a 🪶
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How far am I away from my gws?
Gw1: 7lbs away
Gw2: 11lbs away
Gw3: 18lbs away
Gw4: 21lbs away
Gw5: 25lbs away
Ugw: 31lbs away
I'm getting closer, I can feel it ⭐🕯️
#tw ana diary#tw restrictive ed#ftm ed#tw disordered eating#tw restriction#tw ed diet#ana trigger#anaorexya#anorexcya#i wanna lose weight#ed not ed sheeran#ed not sheeren#i want to ⭐️ve#⭐️rve#⭐️ving#⭐️ve#🕯️as a 🪶#💡as a 🪶#i will reach my ugw#unhealthy weight loss#unhealthy diet#low cal restriction#ana rant#ana meal#ana male#disordered eating thoughts#ugw here i come#ugw#skinii#skinnni
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Tumblr ana community is like a family. Yeah we are toxic as fuck but we're in this shit together.
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Man I don't need to be held accountable, I just need to be held and someone to recognise my wl 🫠
#tw ana diary#tw restrictive ed#ftm ed#tw disordered eating#tw restriction#tw ed diet#ana trigger#anaorexya#anorexcya#i wanna lose weight#ricecakeblr#low cal diet#unhealthy weight loss#low cal restriction#i want to ⭐️ve#⭐️rve#⭐️ving#⭐️ve#💡as a 🪶#🕯️as a 🪶#ed bllog#male ed#ed not ed sheeran#ed not sheeren#i will be a skeleton#skinii#skinnni#ana rant#ana meal#ana male
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Cals for 11th Nov: 410 cals
<3
#tw ana diary#tw restrictive ed#ftm ed#tw disordered eating#tw restriction#tw ed diet#ana trigger#anaorexya#anorexcya#i wanna lose weight#ed not ed sheeran#ed not sheeren#low cal diet#unhealthy weight loss#low cal restriction#🕯️as a 🪶#💡as a 🪶#ricecakeblr#skinii#tw cals#skinnni#i want to ⭐️ve#⭐️rve#⭐️ving#⭐️ve#ana male#ana meal#counting cals#4n0r3xia#4norexi4
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