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musicalmagic · 10 months

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Fear

Summary: You come out as a transgender man. But fear clouds your every move. Fear that is relentless in its pursuit to drag you under.

A/N: This one is based off real life. I listened to Stigma and Lie a lot while writing this.

* Pairing: BTS (OT7) x reader

* Word Count: 1,476

* Genre: Angst

* Warnings: transphobia, alcohol abuse

What does it mean to go through life, not knowing how certain it at all is? How do you deal with the inevitability that some people will just hate you, utterly despise your existence, and do it so subtly it feels like you're making it all up? Whispered glances, tight-lipped faces, scoffs and muttering when they think you can't hear it; it's the little things that drive you mad. The coup de grâce is that slow departure of what you thought was support, traded for disgust every passing second. Until you wake up and realise, they aren't who you knew them before you started all of this.

So does that change how you feel standing in front of these seven guys -- maybe a little? Okay, it's a lot. You're just in denial.

Denial because of an event that dramatically changed the course of your life in its entirety. You don't want to feel that dread that worms its way into everything in your life, it already felt like insanity before you came here -- and now its back in full force.

Will coming out to those you care about always feel so heavy? You swallow air. Your binder itches as you feel the damp wet drag of sweat trickle downwards.

Seokjin, Yoongi, and Namjoon notice your hesitancy first. The rest are just eager to hear what you called them all to the living room for.

Again, you swallow nothing but your anxieties.

"I..." Fuck, why is this so hard?

"I am, uh," you shut your eyes. The dark amber of your eyelids feeling more comfortable than the piercing gazes of your friends.

You hear Yoongi gently say not to worry, and to take your time. A silent thanks trails out after.

With a deep breath you utter, "I am a guy." It's nothing less but terrifying and you don't want to open your eyes. No you would rather curl up in bed and will yourself that this is all a dream.

Nobody speaks.

Nobody moves.

Time itself is quiet.

You curse to yourself, leaving the way you entered.

"Hey, are you alright?"

"Please come back to the dorm, everyone is worried."

"Do you need anything right now?"

"Thanks for telling all of us, it was a brave thing."

"We--"

You end the voice message logs, not wishing to hear the static and silence that slips in the beginning of each of their messages. Truth to be told, you left right as you told them. Not wanting to hear their responses and you don't feel anything but numbness.

Yeah, you told them all. But it feels like they'll just end up hating you. They'll support you for a little while, but who knows maybe its all just a lie? Maybe their support is just a fabrication, after all you've seen people be supportive to others but turn vial and transphobic when it's you. They can be the same too.

You desperately hope that they're supportive. You miss how it felt when you were ignorant. When you didn't know how two-faced people could be. Fuck it hurts so much. It hurts and you can't even tell the person who you thought cared about you the most...

Never mind, there's no point in thinking about it.

Several days have passed since you told BTS. They all tried to get in contact with you, but the fears that well up inside you prevent any of them getting close enough to you for a chat. Until Taehyung shows up at your apartment with a plastic bag of tteokbokki.

"Can I come in? It's a little chilly out in the hallway," he nonchalantly comments. You reluctantly allow him inside.

He places the piping hot bag on your living room table, fresh from the stall.

"I'll be truthful, you really shocked me a couple days ago. Honestly I didn't realise how hard it's been for you recently. I'm glad you told us though," he's straight to the point.

Your mouth feels dry, how familiar.

He then surprises you by saying, "It's nice to meet you, my name's Taehyung. What's your name?" His classic boxy grin plastered on his face.

You laugh and reach for his outreached hand, "My name's _____. Yeah, it's nice to meet you."

Taehyung always has a way to lighten whatever feelings you have.

"So he's alright?" Hoseok asks.

Taehyung lightly smiles, nodding, "_____ is just fine."

"_____... That suits him well," Namjoon nods. Satisfied with it all.

Jungkook excitedly asks, "Ah can we invite him over later for some games then?"

Yoongi folds his arms and sighs, "Not sure about that, _____ looked like he's been dealing with some shit when he first spoke to us." Taehyung glanced at his hyung with a look of sympathy.

Seokjin and Jimin nod their heads in response to Yoongi.

The entirety of BTS agree to just allow you space to work out whatever your feeling and to only intervene if they're worried about you.

You wake to the sound of your alarm, work just never ceases. But you get a call from your manager who says not to bother with coming in. BTS had called ahead to give you the day off from producing in the studio -- something that you respond in confusion to.

"They want you to work with them personally. Hoseok and Namjoon in particular, and don't worry Bang PD already gave the all clear."

You chuckle in exhaustion.

Namjoon calls right after, "_____, it's alright. Take today off, I know you've got a lot on your mind right now."

"You could get in trouble, no?" You respond tired and weakly, the beaming sun through your window burning your eyes at the sharpness of it.

You only hear him chuckle, "You don't gotta worry about that. We'll be fine. You rest up -- oh and, you don't have to come to the studio."

He hangs up after that.

You sigh, grateful but also concerned.

Why do they care so much about you?

The smash of the bottle against the pavement felt so fucking good. She called you again, her disgusting vile hate spewed out with sickly sweet 'concern' as she calls it, "you want to chop your boobs off? You want hormones? Answer me! I want you to be safe! You can't ignore me forever," so you bought the cheapest alcohol you could, and downed it in one go.

You wanted to seriously block her for good, but what good will that do? She'll just scream at you in person. So again and again you welcome the burn. Again and again you will for this to just stop. Nothing helps except this relief, but it feels so empty.

Hollow.

Another bottle and you fall into a drunken haze, laughing and crying at nothing. The street littered with cans and broken glass, alongside other people's visible misery behind this bottle shop. At least you aren't the only one dealing with hell.

Stumbling home with even more alcohol, your fridge fills up with the liquid, it sloshes around every time you slam the door shut.

You text her, a simple fuck you and then you fall asleep. The couch feeling so much better right now than staying awake. Caring about what she'll say doesn't matter to you anymore.

Click.

"_____ we've been talking. You're not going well. Everyone's worried for you. Please talk to us."

Click.

"I came over yesterday to check up on you, but your drunken voice startled me. Please, you're not alone."

Click.

"I have some of your favourite dishes waiting to be cooked. You let me know when you want to come and try the spins I put on it."

Click.

It's been a month. And every effort has been made by the members to get you to come out of your shell. They've reiterated how much they care about you, they listened to you when you were drunk and rambled about your fears. They over and over tell you that they aren't like her, that they genuinely want the best for you -- that it isn't a lie. Their support isn't a lie.

You hate seeing them so distraught about you, and their words are gradually starting to reach you. Slowly but surely.

That's why when you show up at the dorms, a tiny smile on your face, do you feel better to see them. They aren't lying. It's true.

A group hug is started by Jimin and Taehyung. You feel their warmth for you. You can feel the love.

Despite the fact she doesn't support you, you know there are people out there that do. It’s going to be a long road, but you aren’t as scared anymore.

And with that, that fear begins to erode. And god does it feel incredible.

#bts #angst #trans man #bts x reader #trans reader #fluff #bts fic

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musicalmagic · 10 months

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Personal Update

Hi everyone,

Thank you so much for coming and reading my little stories here on tumblr, and ao3 (if you're on there too).

I just wanted to give a personal update for you all, mainly as a cry for support and to know I'm not alone but... also because I owe that to you all (I feel like that anyway...)

I came out as a transgender man in late 2021 -- and life has been such a whirlwind since that I haven't been able to focus on writing Quarantine Days and other stories that I had planned on. I'll be frank, I doubt I'll update that story for the main reason that I no longer feel a connection to the character. While I never explicitly wrote the POV "you" as any one gender, after I came out, I guess I just feel like its too painful to write. To me, I felt "you" was a woman in all of the stories I wrote, and I'm not a woman.

I suppose I should say a message for the future, in that, I do plan on writing stories still. Maybe not as frequent as I was when I was active, but I do want to shine some slice of life trans guy experiences. I will mention whenever a story contains trans elements, as perhaps I'll write from a woman's perspective again as a sort of homage to my past, and as a closure to the teenage me.

Thank you for supporting my previous stories, and I hope you enjoy whatever I end up writing in the future. I appreciate and love you all. See you soon <3

#ftm #trans guy #trans writer #coming out #bts #bts writer #update

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musicalmagic · 2 years

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Quarantine Days [5]

Summary: Coronavirus has arrived to the BTS members and yourself. Grappling with boredom and the reality that, yeah, you really all were stuck in the same place for a while. Ensure that the shenanigans of your days with BTS are recounted here, and please do remember, stay in contact with those you love.

A/N: Long time, no see! Uni has been kicking my ass for a while now. Finally can write yay!

* Pairing: BTS (OT7) x reader (Idol Au)

* Word Count: 735

* Genre: Fluff

* Warnings: None

1 2 3 4 5

Tag List: @itspwi

5 days was all it took. Just, five days. And everybody had already submitted at least one song to you to look over. Namjoon and Taehyung were the quickest, which isn’t all that surprising; Yoongi and Hoseok closely tied for second, fast at composition. Jimin was a fitting third, writing lyrics quickly yet purposefully. While Seokjin and Jungkook were both perfectionists and had taken them until the fifth day.

The biggest thing you noticed was the similarities between each of the members’ lyrics, themes, and overall compositional style. All of it was, to say the least, miserable. The only noticeable difference between all seven tracks was Life Goes On. Previous to that though, the boys had been in the studio recording Dynamite, a song you were a little hesitant about, but the boys had reassured you with big smiles and happy grins. To see them happy was all you really needed; all you cared about in honesty.

Thinking back on it, Jungkook was probably the most excited. He had been practicing his English and pronunciation in earnest once he found out the approval from HYBE had gone through. The maknae being in such a cheery mood brought up everyone’s spirits.

One afternoon he was jumping in glee as he declared over and over, “You know, ARMY will be delighted to hear this, right? Right?”

“That recording booth will be mine!” He vowed to the room, and you were slightly terrified at the determination in his bunny hopping eyes.

Jimin was laughing, nearly collapsing off his chair and bumping his head, as Jungkook continued to rattle on about recording. Everybody was more than happy to be in the studio, if meant not being stuck in the same, increasingly cramped spaces, about the dorm.

The miracle of laying down vocals was all that BTS could think about really, as you set up the studio alongside Yoongi. Plugging in the XLR cables, booting up your preferred DAW — pro tools, adjusting pop filters; anything to keep your hands busy and your mind at bay. Yoongi was just about finished with straightening a sound proof panel that had fallen off when Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook ambushed the poor man in the vocal booth, surprisingly startling him (a rare, and a miraculous feat in of itself). You just chuckled when you heard the muttering from Yoongi as he trudged into the main studio, him slowly closing the heavy door to prevent the annoying high-pitched sound from pressure that you and all BTS producers complain about dealing with.

Now, the space was set and ready for the obnoxious maknae-line to record their parts. This being the chorus sections. Pressing play, the three quickly laid down a demo, figuring out the timing and whatnot. Taehyung kept giggling in between, causing you and Yoongi to both sigh and shout to the receiver “restart”.

Recording was both fun and stressful because of the maknae-line.

The hyung-line was just as bad, mainly because Namjoon in between his takes would sing the chorus purposefully off key, which made Hoseok snort and Seokjin to laugh most of the time. Yoongi with a small smile on his face.

You throughout the entire process rolled your eyes, at this point your eyes were becoming squares, as you stared at the waveforms of each members’ various takes, cleaning them up and making it a usable demo as possible to send to HYBE for approval.

The real fun (or hell for you), was when they all came in to do the last part of the song, and, well, it was loud. These seven men were just about to tear you a new ear hole with how many decibels they were subjecting you too.

You had enough at one point and just, “Hey! Guys, I need you all to quiet down for this yeah?”

Success.

Starfish. Somebody in the group had come up with a brilliant new way of calming everyone down, which honestly you were out of the loop on who. Regardless, all of BTS and you lied down in a circle, recording finished and everybody exhausted, and you all spread out like a starfish.

Namjoon said something along the lines of “creating a synchronised dance”, or, similar to that.

You huffed amused with that statement, but went along with it.

People do weird things when they’re bored, you noted.

The question now becomes, what will they look forward to now?

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#bts x reader #bts fluff #idol au #reader is a musician #quarantinedays #bts #bts and reader #bts stories #fluff

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musicalmagic · 3 years

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210904 Suga’s Tweet

가을이구나!

Looks like it’s autumn!

Trans cr; Faith @ bts-trans © TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS

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musicalmagic · 3 years

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Quarantine Days [4]

A/N: Hello. I bring you more angst because I’m sad today ://. Happy PTD and Butter!!! Hehehhh

* Pairing: BTS (OT7) x reader (Idol Au)

* Word Count: 814

* Genre: Angst, Fluff

* Warnings: Coronavirus

1 2 3 4

Tag List: @itspwi

You were, suffice to say, confused with what was happening before you. Yoongi was arguing with Namjoon; in the loudest voice he could muster. Now, Yoongi rarely shows his anger, always a genuine person in his reactions, if he was annoyed, he showed it, if he was bored, it was present. Happiness would radiate. Anger and frustration would then be booming. Today, was not a good day. After the announcement by HYBE that the tour was to be postponed, and the concept of cancelled begun to weave through the boys’ head. Their performances they had been practicing was starting to look like it was all for nothing, really dug into all.

Namjoon commented that it wasn’t over yet, but Yoongi’s bitterness towards everything got the best of him. Where he tried to hold it in, but when Namjoon remarked, “Just wait,” he exploded.

Beforehand, you questioned if any of the boys would become irritated at the news, when Bang PD had messaged you privately, 10 minutes before the announcement. He knew, in a way, that someone would react in this way. So you also texted Namjoon to break the news with ease, briefing him with the situation.

But, when it came to ARMY, the boys were distraught, to say the least. Yoongi was one of the saddest. Frankly you yourself was tearing up when you read it earlier. All of the boys were crying, hiccupping and piling on top of each other for comfort.

Bated breath and shaky hands, Jimin tore Namjoon and Yoongi a-part. If Namjoon couldn’t think well, he could at least.

“STOP!” He screamed, “What would yelling at each other do?”

Yoongi fell to the ground in a heap. Wrapping his arms around his legs and curling in himself. Quivering as he sobbed. Your world cracked seeing him cry this way. Namjoon was no better, who was on the verge of breaking too.

“Will it get better?” A teary Jungkook asked.

“Possibly,” Seokjin replied, red in the ears and wiping his tears away.

Hoseok, oh the usually sunshine man, was similar to Yoongi. But was in the foetal position, turning away from the rest of the group. Hiccupping into his elbows.

Nobody wanted to practice today.

And for the first time in years, the BTS dorm was completely quiet. Save for the bump of chairs, the tripping on carpet (an exclaim of fucks in the air, which most had fallen getting up off the floor), and the sad slams of doors. Nothing at all.

You sat in the living room, and mindlessly scrolled through your phone. Glassy, like looking through a foggy window, and you could barely make out the words you were reading. Every blink rolled tears down your cheeks. Wet with the promise of more to come.

This, was the normal now.

BTS had finally gathered courage to enter the living room, fixing the large space for practice, after about a week and a bit. Hoseok looked like he hadn’t slept in days, Jimin was a little sensitive, a hangover you suspected, Taehyung and Namjoon were tied in dirty stains on their shirts, Seokjin and Yoongi looked hopped up on caffeine, and Jungkook just, looked lifeless.

You sighed, as they started playing ON, stretching as they listened. Remembering. No one spoke to each other as they relaxed their muscles. In sync though. You sighed once more, and Hoseok turned his head around, giving a gentle yet tight smile, you returned it.

They got into position a little while after, syncing up their title track ON with a metronome, out of practice. While COVID had sucked them of motivation, they still kept up the movements. Fluid, sharp, rolling, relaxed, sweat beading down temples, and the voices of seven strained men.

All of them released pent up energy in this mock performance, treating it as such, their muscles ached, and you sat in one corner of the room, mesmerised. Once it was over, you rushed to the kitchen for the cooled drink bottles, as well as music, you could do your best to support them. So, that’s what you did. Encouraging them as you handed over their labelled drinks, “proud of you”, was your most used phrase these days.

Each thanked you, but wordlessly drank. Everyone was standing around blankly staring at each other. Seokjin had the bright idea to play Zero O’clock, and, well, everyone begun to cry again.

It was relentless afterwards, their dancing got steadily more and more intense. The burn of their muscles, the burn of their anger, their sadness, seeping, rushing into their throbbing bodies.

They ending once all songs were exhausted from MOTS: 7. Every single one done, thoroughly. The practice began in the morning. It was now well into the evening.

Without a word, the boys cleaned up, and went to the showers.

This was going to get worse before it got better.

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#bts x reader #bts and reader #quarantinedays #reader is a musician #idol au #bts stories #bts

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musicalmagic · 3 years

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Quarantine Days [3]

A/N: Back with a short chapter, thank you for waiting regardless! Love you :)

* Pairing: BTS (OT7) x reader (Idol Au)

* Word Count: 731

* Genre: Angst, Fluff

* Warnings: Coronavirus

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Jimin and Seokjin were still pissed at each other even after well into the afternoon. Once, Jimin was reaching for a glass to fill it up for water before heading into the living room, but he was slightly shorter than his arm would let him reach. Some issues about his height didn’t bother Jimin, although on occasion when it interferes with drinking, he gets angry.

“Jin-hyung!” With the call of Seokjin, the taller, broader man rushes into the kitchen but sours when he spots Jimin on the tips of his toes for a glass. Seokjin crosses his arms.

“I’m not getting that for you,” he began with a huff. Petty.

Jimin grumbles and instead started to climb the benchtop. Alarmed, Seokjin worryingly tried to couch him down, “Jimin, Jimin! Don’t do that! Hey! Climb down from there!” He mumbled under his breath, “You’re going to give me grey hairs before I’m thirty,” before yelling, “Fine I’ll get the glass but please get down before you hurt yourself.”

Jimin happily hopped off the benchtop like he won at a video game, silently watching his victory as Seokjin easily got a glass from the high shelf and handed it to him to fill with water.

The older man was pouting in annoyance, but still, it was better than a screaming match.

The two dispersed into their separate directions, Jimin going to the living room, and Seokjin headed back towards his room.

The jenga tower fell. And all eight of you shouted differently in united displeasure at the thought of either losing or winning; depending on who lost the last couple games, also meant cleaning the damn thing up. Jungkook and his competitive nature was loving it when you had suggested a marathon of jenga matches, and the penalty of cleaning up and doing the dishes for an entire week. So, everyone had gotten wrapped up in the matches. Seokjin had managed to snag two, Yoongi four, Hoseok and Namjoon were tied with one, Taehyung with eight, Jimin with six, Jungkook had somehow gotten nine, and you were with three. With thirty-four games all of you were tired, some bordering on exhaustion.

“Why did we do this?” Taehyung asked from the floor, his limbs out like a starfish.

Jimin simply responded, “Boredom.”

Seokjin and Namjoon shared a look of irritation.

Everyone was bored out of their minds.

And no one could figure out what to do with themselves.

All at once, the entire group sighed, and Hoseok and Namjoon rolled their eyes jokingly as Jungkook playfully mentioned the penalty and got to work cleaning up the game for the final time.

“Well one thing’s for sure, I got hell of a lot of ideas for songs,” Hoseok remarked, the clicking of the jenga pieces in tow.

Yoongi chimed in with a hum of agreement.

“Rock-paper-scissors for the studio, boys?” You suggested.

Hoseok, Namjoon, Yoongi, and Jungkook had all jumped on the chance. Hoseok and Namjoon especially at the mention of the chance to win back their luck.

In the end though, Yoongi had managed to pull through on a tight tie a couple times and hurried off.

“That’s the happiest I’ve seen him today,” Namjoon muttered, crossing his arms.

Silence had filtered through the group.

Until Jimin chuckled. Then one by one everyone was laughing, including Yoongi, who’s shy laughter drifted through the open door before becoming muffled.

Seokjin and Jimin were sitting on the couch, still bitter but not as much.

Jimin had softly said, “I’m sorry,” while Seokjin simultaneously whispered the same.

The two shared a look and had a good chuckle.

“We’re being a little petty over this, aren’t we?”

“I suppose, but you did throw your phone and sit on me hyung.”

Seokjin shook his head in disappointment, “I know; it was wrong of me to do that.”

It was quite a while before any of the two spoke again, they were enjoying the pleasantness of the quiet. But it was broken pretty easily by the chatter of Taehyung and Jungkook as one of them had succeeded in winning at smash bros. Their happiness filtering through the open door like butter spread nicely on toast.

“Okay, I’m going to play a game. You coming?”

Seokjin waved away the idea, “I’m alright. Go,” he responded with a smile.

Disagreements between people take time to heal. But it’s always possible.

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#bts x reader #bts and reader #quarantinedays #jimin and seokjin focus #reader is a musician #idol au #bts stories #bts

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musicalmagic · 4 years

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Quarantine Days [2]

A/N: It’s only chapter 2, and I already have the angst. Hahahahhh, sorry sorry. I promise there’s more good than bad, but frustrations need to come first before the good, no?

* Pairing: BTS (OT7) x reader (Idol Au)

* Word Count: 1,654

* Genre: Angst, Fluff

* Warnings: Coronavirus

1 2

Tag List: @itspwi

It was an early evening, sun only just beginning its decent into the concrete jungle that existed just outside the window of the high-rise apartment. Jungkook and Taehyung decided to play videogames after an easy-going discussion for the next album with the rest of the members, Jimin occasionally popping in to pick on the two when they messed up in Mario Kart races or Street Fighter matches. You were with Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok in the studio fiddling with Cubase and other DAWs for fun, settling on a weird plugin to occupy the time, that distorted whoever’s voice spoke or sang into the microphone.

“Hey, HEY, don’t worrrry ‘bout me!” Namjoon’s filtered voice filtered about the space, while Hoseok was laughing his ass off at the wobbliness of it all, Yoongi had a small smile on his face, and you were around the same state as Hoseok. Clutching onto Hoseok’s shoulder as you balled with giggles like you were being tickled.

Seokjin was in his shared room, happily on his phone when Jimin bursts through the door. The man was so startled that he chucked his phone toward Jimin — who barely managed to duck after he himself was shocked, and the two just stood there in silence. Seokjin nervously smiled, before Jimin took off after him in a jokingly angered way. Running to catch up and managing to snag Seokjin’s jacket that swirled around him like leaves in the wind, pulling him back toward him but instead of wrapping his arms around his waist, was in fact knocked to the ground. Seokjin’s larger frame landing directly on top of him. The men grunted as gravity stomped on them, air escaping their lungs from the impact.

Jungkook waddled out from the living room to find Jimin attempting to shove Seokjin off of him but was failing miserably, grumbling curses under his breath when he realised it was impossible. Taehyung appeared moments later clutching his stomach in hysterics at the sight. Seokjin was laughing as well, which only made Jimin even more pissed. He quickly hooked Seokjin’s right leg around his own and pulled Seokjin’s right arm towards the ground, pushing his other leg upwards in an attempt to get Seokjin off — who completely fell off of Jimin in surprise.

“You alright there?” Taehyung questioned, a tint of glee in his tone. Jimin just glared at him from the floor, looking close to punch him. Seokjin stood up and began to pat his clothes to rid the creases, eyeing the two in front of him and heavily sighing. Glad that Jungkook wasn’t here either.

You and Hoseok, still on about the craziness of distorted Namjoon singing, happened upon the trio’s standstill with Jungkook also coming out to peek at what was going on. Jimin and Taehyung were bickering, while Seokjin just looked like he wanted to run the other way, ears tinted red and staring at anything but Jimin and Taehyung.

You sighed and looked to Hoseok, who had a firm, but unreadable expression on his face. He turned back the way he came.

You all stood still.

Waiting.

Hoseok returned with Namjoon, Yoongi trailing behind him. With a single nod to everyone, Namjoon successfully dragged everyone to the living room. Jungkook promptingly switching the TV off, as you all settled on the available seats.

“First, what happened before this?”

Jimin huffed, crossing his arms, and simply saying, “Seokjin threw his phone at me.”

“You startled me first by barging into my room!” Seokjin angerly remarked, “Unannounced, might I add.”

“I didn’t know you had a phone in your hand!”

“Maybe you should knock next time then.”

Jimin grumbled again, unable to reply.

Namjoon just sighed into his hand, trying to think what to do.

“We are only two months into this lockdown and already fights are breaking out. You two need to find a way to cool off,” Yoongi chimed in. Namjoon gently nodding next to him.

You sat there in puddle of your own sweat at the idea it was only two months since the lockdown, and there were already conflicts. How can they stay friends in such close proximity in general?

Jimin sat up and headed out of the living room towards his room, and Seokjin did the same. The six of you remaining all collectively agreed to leave the two alone, and went off. Although, the five boys decided on watching a movie, Yoongi, Hoseok, Taehyung, Namjoon and Jungkook all began scrolling through Netflix while you stared out into space. Furrowing your brows deep in thought.

While lockdown was stressful enough, you wondered if or when it’d get better. This definitely wasn’t a normal honeymoon phase when new events start. In fact, it felt more bickery than flattery.

“Hey _____, are you going to watch with us?” Jungkook asked, pulling you out of your head.

“Yeah, sure. Have you guys chosen something?”

Yoongi answered quickly, “We thought a light-hearted movie would be good.”

“So we’re putting on a Disney movie,” Hoseok finished. Namjoon hummed in confirmation, “The Little Mermaid.”

You perked up at that, smiling, “Sounds good! Put it on, put it on!” You excitedly said.

Everyone there chuckled at your reaction, putting the movie on quickly.

Pretty much everyone had fallen asleep by the time the movie’s credits had rolled on by. The boys all somehow ended up on top of each other in a cuddle puddle, and you had to wordlessly move their legs off your own to get to the kitchen.

Seokjin was there when you entered, his fingers tapping the mug he held as he drank what was in there silently, brows furrowed in concentration. You paused at the doorway, concerned.

“Seokjin? Are you alright?” He didn’t startle and held firm, only slightly surprised at your sudden introduction.

He looked tired as he answered with an, “I’m fine _____. Thanks.”

You padded over and took out a glass from one of the cabinets, filling it with water when Seokjin asked, “How’s everyone else?”

“Asleep. I don’t know how to get them all to their beds,” you replied while sipping on the water.

Standing a lot closer to Seokjin, you focused on how seriously exhausted the man was. Seokjin is someone who doesn’t vocalise their struggles often, and prefers to show the happier sides of life, and is a calming presence. But you felt that the person in front of you was drained entirely.

So, you put your glass down, and did the same with Seokjin’s, which was easier as it was already on the island. You slid the cup away from him.

“Let’s go to bed Jin.” Seokjin began, “But what abo—”

“I’ll handle them. You need sleep.”

With that, Seokjin headed off to bed, grumbling but still going along with it anyways.

You turned back to the doorway that led to the living room. Ah yay, this’ll be fun. You quickly walked into the room. Noticing first the black TV, how it turned off by itself, and the sleepy forms of most of your friends. Yoongi and Jungkook had managed to end up on top of one another, while Namjoon, Taehyung and Hoseok had all curled around each other. Your first instinct was to yell loudly, but that would wake everyone else up.

With some hesitation, you went with shaking them all from the shoulder. Jungkook, Namjoon and Hoseok woke up easy, eyes drowsy and drooping though, but they all helped you try and wake the last two who were notorious heavy sleepers. At one point, Hoseok had tried jumping onto Taehyung, but just fell off the side of the couch when he landed; Taehyung had just curled further into the fetus position and mumbling incoherent nonsense. Which, to be fair, all of you who were up found hilarious.

Yoongi was the same, well, mostly. He kept between half-asleep and asleep, and you and Namjoon thought by this time Yoongi was just messing with you all.

Instead of Hoseok, Jungkook tried jumping on the two-sleeping people, and actually managed to get Yoongi up. Who just shot up and glared at the maknae. Now it was Taehyung that was still asleep.

Which, Jungkook also handled easily. He resulted to pinching the slightly older man awake.

You sighed in relief, all of them were awake.

Namjoon glanced at everyone as they all yawned, he clapped twice and sent everyone to their rooms.

Jimin and Seokjin were tense around each other when morning came. Avoiding the other completely when they could. Namjoon was over the behaviour and called another meeting.

“Alright, you two need to work this out.”

They didn’t even look at each other.

“Answer me guys. I can’t do anything if you don’t talk what’s on your mind, yes?” Namjoon firmly reminded them.

Seokjin huffed, “I’m pissed at him.”

“Why would you be pissed at me? I would be more so! You through your phone at me and sat on me! This isn’t fair Namjoon! Why am I even here?” Jimin angerly spouted at the two.

Namjoon groaned under his breath. Annoyance etched into his expression as the two started arguing again.

“Okay!” You yelled—shutting them up. “Look, Seokjin,” You began, “I can understand why you’d be angry, someone barged into your room without knocking, and I empathise that throwing your phone was a reflex, but not moving when Jimin was struggling underneath you wasn’t nice, yes?”

Seokjin’s gaze drifted from yours, silent.

“Jimin,” you turned to him, “Don’t go into other people’s rooms—even if its shared, you never know if someone is busy, cooling off, or needing space. Always knock.”

“Now, Seokjin apologise to Jimin; Jimin do the same.”

It was nothing short of amazing, how quickly you handled everything. The rest of the boys watching you in fascination, as the two apologised, genuinely so.

As the group dispersed once more, Yoongi and Namjoon had the same thought, “I’m glad she’s here.”

Previous Chapter?

Next Chapter?

#bts x reader #bts #bts fluff stories #reader is a musician #fluff #angst #idol au #bts and reader

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musicalmagic · 4 years

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I know I said no idol au stuff...but I caved and wanted to add my own twist to it... Just letting you know, I’m unsure when I’ll update QD, I write when I wish to, so please keep that in mind.

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musicalmagic · 4 years

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Quarantine Days [1]

A/N: I hope you missed me! I present to you, the very first ot7 story and a series to boot. Yeah, I know I said no Idol Au stuff, but I caved and realised that even if BTS were to read this, I hope they know that I think of these eight people in the story as characters and not actual people. Yeah, their mannerisms (from what we know of) and names are based off of real people, but they are still strictly characters. Enjoy!

* Pairing: BTS (OT7) x reader (Idol Au)

* Word Count: 1,368

* Genre: Fluff, Humour (potentially Angst)

* Warnings: Coronavirus

Seokjin and Namjoon were huddled around the computer in the shared living room, staring at the message that had popped up on the news feed. Glued to the screen in slight worry as they chewed on their fingers.

Coronavirus Update, it read.

“Fuck,” Namjoon swore under his breath, “What are we gonna do?” As his eyes drifted over the numerous restrictions.

Seokjin was silent as he kept reading, anxiety worming its way into his chest, “The better question, what are we gonna do about our careers?”

Namjoon looked at Seokjin, his eyes furrowed, “That’s what you’re worried about? Our careers?”

Seokjin nervously chuckled but said nothing more.

Jungkook and Taehyung had wandered into the eight of yours’ living space, all playful and laughing as they teased each other about an earlier video game match. They stopped once they noticed Seokjin and Namjoon’s worried expressions staring back at them.

Taehyung bumped into Jungkook as he just stood there. Worry etched into his face at the sight of his hyung’s concerned looks.

“What’s going on?” He asked hesitantly. Taehyung perked up at that.

“Nothing good…” Namjoon replied, scratching his neck nervously.

The rest of the members of BTS filtered into the room, Hoseok, Yoongi, and Jimin — who had just finished recording a demo track for their latest album to be submitted to the company.

Yoongi let his eyes wander about the room, staying silent but knowing something was up by the way Namjoon and Seokjin were standing. Namjoon huffed a frustrated sigh and rotated the laptop to face the rest of BTS, muttering quietly. He was concerned about his bandmate’s reactions, the fans, and especially what they should do about this new position that they found themselves in.

“Look – I, uh,” Namjoon began, once again nervous, “We’re in a bit of a pickle…” Was all he managed to say.

Hoseok, the bright and cheerful member of the group, was stoic when he finished reading. Shaking his head as he crossed his arms. Jimin looked on the verge of tears, wiping away his quickly-growing red face — Taehyung and Jungkook was no better.

You on the other hand, walked in absentmindedly, oblivious to the scene as you really needed water. Of course, stopping at the tension that immediately stung to your sides. Sweat forming at your neck as everyone’s on-edge faces greeted you. Jimin had wrapped his arms tightly around Taehyung as he sobbed, while Jungkook had dashed past you to the bathroom – Seokjin not far behind to comfort him. Namjoon, Hoseok and Yoongi just looked at you with their mouths glued shut.

“Is this about that joke I sent earlier to the group chat?” You questioned. Hoseok just shook his head, his own tears starting to threaten to fall.

“It’s about the coronavirus issue, _____,” Namjoon answered for him.

“Coronavirus?” The name sounded foreign on your tongue, but with the way the three rappers were staring at you, it was extremely serious.

Yoongi glanced anywhere but your face as he spoke, “Y-Yeah…”

“So—”

Namjoon rubbed his ear as he added with unease, “We’re locked inside…for a while...”

“WHAT?” You nearly screamed.

“Haven’t you been reading the news _____? They’ve been talking about it for a couple weeks now,” Yoongi questioned. You shook your head as an answer.

“I’ve been…well, doing other things, frankly. Music related…” You trailed off, scratching your neck. Yoongi raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything more.

Hoseok just looked uncomfortable, excusing himself of the situation and leaving to his shared room — blood just rushing through his ears as he walked past. Patting your shoulder wordlessly.

Now you really became confused. Staring at Namjoon and Yoongi who looked like they wanted to bolt and avoid the conversation and prepare for the lockdown that was hurtling toward them at full speed – wait, Namjoon just realised he said the entire monologue out loud. Yoongi shot him a glare.

“Lockdown? Wait, wait, wait…” You furrowed your brows in concentration, but then it hit you, “Fuck.”

Namjoon chuckled despite everything and started actually explaining the whole situation.

Jimin and Jungkook had calmed down after the initial shock, and were huddled around the rest of the members and you, as they grappled with the lockdown and coronavirus issue. All of them had tense expressions, some more visibly worried than others. Namjoon coughed before he spoke, looking about the table as he gauged everyone’s states. Taking in a long inhale, he gripped the table, knuckles going white, as he started.

“Well, first of all, _____, I’ve already talked with the company, you’re staying here. We’re going to need your help working on the songs, I’m actually glad that we have the studio now, believe it or not — moving on; everyone’s going to be using their masks outside, and making sure to wash them when you come home in hot, soppy water. I don’t want to see anything bad happen, and I certainly don’t want any of us sick. We’re going to be here together for a long time it seems, so if any of you start anything, we all come into the living room and talk it out.”

He huffs, sucking in another deep breath before continuing on, “Lastly, we all need to stick together. Deciding roles, figuring out where we’re going to practice, how that will happen, the whole thing.” Seokjin rubbed Namjoon’s back as a comforting gesture. While Jungkook wanted to raise his hand to ask something but kept it down. You paled at the proposition that you had to stay with the seven men, in the same place, but also kept your mouth shut.

“Any questions?”

No one even breathed.

Silence.

Namjoon sighed as he thought to himself, “This is going to be a tough year…”

You had run through the dorms chasing after Jungkook and Taehyung, the duo screaming that you had corona like it was the cooties — while you laughed. Yoongi eyed you from the couch as you passed the living room for the fifth time that day, a small smile on his lips as he went back to his phone. Scrolling endlessly. Boredom had already settled into the eight of you as the lockdown reached its first month. The first couple of days being the easiest, but as the lockdown continued and the virus raging outside the window, all of you collectively agreed to only leave for necessities.

Namjoon and Seokjin were deciding on what to eat, however Seokjin was adamant that Namjoon was to only decide and not even glance at the spatula. Last time, a small fire had started while Seokjin, Namjoon and Hoseok had been panicking, Jimin and Taehyung were laughing while Yoongi put it out. Jungkook had just stood there, frozen. You were in the studio with headphones on.

Taehyung had stopped to catch his breath, laughing in almost hysterics when you caught up to him. Tickling him maddingly, “I told you I’d catch ya!”

He was giggling through the breathlessness, “I—stopped—when y-you, c-caught up—w-with me! So you didn’t manage t-to—actually catch m-me!”

You just hummed in reply, tickling him purposely in the spot you knew would make him cry out in absolute uncontrollable laughter. He tried squirming away, but you were too quick in catching him. Continuing with your tickle-fest with your own chuckles.

“_____,” someone said behind you. You turned to find Jimin with a grin on his face, “Allow me.”

You stood up and watched as Jimin descended on his best friend to all the places that would rile Taehyung up maddingly so. Even more than you had.

He was clutching Jimin shirt almost painfully before Jimin stopped, concern laced in his movements when Taehyung just preceded to lie there on the floor. Taking in large gulps of air as tears had run down his cheeks as he squinted from the overhead lights.

“I’m gonna kill the both of you,” he said slowly – but jokingly – as he regained himself.

You and Jimin glanced at each other, before dashing away, Jungkook following after once he realised what was going on.

Namjoon had sighed when he exited the kitchen and witnessed the chaos that was four of you.

“A long quarantine awaits...”

Next chapter?

#bts x reader #bts #bts fluff stories #first idol au #the only one #reader is a musician #reader musician #fluff

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musicalmagic · 4 years

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Some Things Just Are

Summary: Hoseok and you are roommates, and have been for a while. There's just one tiny detail: You're autistic. That's nothing to be ashamed of, it just means that there is always something that can bother you throughout the day, and with support from Hoseok and everything else, you'll get through no matter what comes your way.

A/N: First off, hi...I’m back. Did you miss me? Uh so... this one is a little more personal, a little more real. Just to let you know, some sentences where a character other than yourself is talking, I may not include how they say it (also because I might not be able to describe it in the first place…haha hahahh) I am autistic myself by the way. I have experienced a lot of what the reader has dealt with, and have also included a couple of my own personal stims. This story isn't a representation of all autistic individuals however, it's a perspective of one person. As autism is extremely personal and every one of us is different. But please, if you don't know what we've gone through, don't try to explain how we feel for us. Just listen.

* Pairing: Jung Hoseok x Autistic Reader

* Word Count: 1,222

* Genre: Fluff

* Warnings: Meltdown scene

While it was just before 8am when your alarm would blare and awake you, you had woken up before it. Blinking rapidly as sleep worked its way out of you, the weight of your blanket heavy against your chest and your back tingling from it pressing against the mattress. It was always something tactile, always something, every fibre of your being ignited when something made itself known to your skin. It was a relief to feel the almost automatic smoothness from turning to your side and feeling one foot moving up and down the other as you yawned and released the stiffness in your muscles for sleeping in the same place for too long. Truthfully, it was a natural thing that you had done since you were young. No one taught you to do this motion when the sensations from everything else began to irritate you. It was just, something you did.

You were still in your pjs when you exited the room you occupied. Rubbing your eyes and trying to get it to focus afterwards, Hoseok, the “best-roomie-ever” was jumping excitedly in front of the T.V, watching the dancers move about the screen. Recently, he had bought a smart T.V that had YouTube as a function, and you thought it was because of all the new features and cool things that were built-in. Yet again however, Hoseok smiled and said that he bought it for YouTube, so that he could have the T.V “large enough to view the dance moves”, as he had graciously put it. You only laughed and had gone about your day afterwards as Hoseok switched it.

Now, Hoseok was studying the main dancer extremely close, watching every movement and flick of their hips, all the little intricacies that they were doing.

“Hoseok, you’re doing it again!” You called out to him from your room, voice slightly croaky.

He turned, waved and smiled a little, and sat on the couch behind him. You moved over behind him and started to thread your hands through his hair.

“Ahh, so I was up to it again, eh?” Hoseok said playfully.

“Yup,” you replied.

“How do you always manage to catch me though?”

“I don’t know. You seem to have a habit of it. I just am there to witness it,” almost a robotic sounding reply, to anyone else that didn’t know you, but Hoseok just tilted his head up, craning his neck to see you and had a fond expression on his face.

Hoseok didn’t say anything as he stared at you, and truthfully, you had not the faintest idea why. To you, Hoseok and many other people were an enigma that couldn’t be solved. Much less try to wrap your head around. So, you detached your fingers from his bedhead and ran over to the other side of the couch. Avoiding his gaze as he trained his eyes on you.

“Anyways, wanna watch something better than the news right now?” You said quickly, plopping yourself down next to him, “I had an idea of watching a T.V show I saved for this very occasion.”

“It’s barely 8:30 in the morning and you want to watch T.V?” Hoseok asked, a slight chuckle under his breath.

“Yeah!” You said happily. Hoseok gave you a funny look, but shook his head at you. Which you took as a no, it wasn’t a bad thing.

The couch’s pillows had, with all its rough glory, begun to irritate you, Hoseok was none the wiser as he switched from YouTube to Netflix, but your back was tingling with that familiar feeling, and at some points down your back was starting to hurt slightly. You wiggled in your seat trying to dispel the discomfort, only for you to sit back in a huff.

“Hobiiiiii,” you whined. Hoseok turned his head in confusion, only to see your reddened face and an unhappy expression.

Pleadingly you said, “Please can we get something a little less fluffy on the pillows!” Hoseok only stared, and you tried your best to look for longer than a second or two, but honestly the pillow was really annoying you.

He could tell you were about to crack like an egg if too much pressure was pressed to it, his gentle hands pulling you forward, and you came face to face with him. How did he get there so fast?

“Breathe. You gotta breathe,” he suddenly said sternly. Like a switch from happy and joking to concern and worry, yet you still couldn’t keep your eyes on his for too long. Lest it��d stir up uncomfy-ness in you. Your back had stopped tingling like before, but his fingers that pressed into your wrists (barely there), and hair sticking to your face, not to mention the clothes that weighed on your skin, was enough for you.

It had broken you.

Like something came over you, you shoved Hoseok away and retreated to your room. Eyes unfocused and blurry, everything up against you was so consuming. Thoughts switching off as you desperately tried to rid the feeling, and all you could do was press your hands together and rock; back and forth, back and forth, a haze in your head like a bad headache, but it just made you dizzy instead of just the pure pain of it forcing a pressure to your skull. You didn’t hear as Hoseok opened the door, or when he quietly sat next to you. Humming under his breath, a simple melody that you could latch onto. Becoming hyper focused to the sound of the notes, the haze in your brain becoming lighter, and lighter, and lighter, until it was barely there. You sighed as you slowed, and your white-red hands flooding with blood as you relaxed them.

When it was finally over, you tipped your head and felt like crying. It happened again.

Hoseok didn’t say anything as he handed you a tissue, and you held it with both hands. A neutralness to the tissue that you liked. Nothing soft nor rough, which suited you fine. You glued your eyes to your lap, studying the patterns.

“I’m sorry…I ruined our morning again, haven’t I?” You said sorrowfully.

He was quiet for a moment before he answered, “No. You never ruin it.” Hoseok suddenly laughed, his signature heart-smile breaking through, “Although, I think we’ll definitely get a better pillowcase!”

You laughed too. It relaxed you, and nothing was better to latch onto than someone’s laugh. Especially Hoseok’s, something about his laugh always made you feel better.

“Yeah…I don’t like that pillowcase anymore. I know I was the one who chose it, but…” You trailed off.

“Hey, hey,” he started to say, “It’s alright, no biggie. Besides, I never liked—”

Your head twisted so quick that it cut Hoseok off in momentary surprise, “You didn’t like it?”

He stuttered, “Y- I mean, of course I liked it! It was a combo of your and I’s favourite colour after all!”

“Oh…that’s good,” you simply said, happy at his answer.

“By the way,” Hoseok began, clearing his throat, “I hope you know, that you don’t ever ruin my day. Never ever, so please, don’t think that.”

“It’s hard not to Hoseok…” You answered sadly.

“I know…” He breathed in, “I know.”

“But no matter what, you’re who you are; that’s nothing short of amazing.”

#bts stories #bts #hoseok x reader #jung hoseok and reader #autistic reader #actually autistic

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musicalmagic · 4 years

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Movie Night

Summary: Jungkook had come over after getting a call from you crying on the phone over being rejected. Bringing snacks, and a calming side.

A/N: Hi! I bring a happy Jungkook story this time! :) Please comment if you can, I love having any comments at all!

*Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

*Word Count: 612

*Genre: Fluff

*Warnings: None

You had slumped on the couch, watching a random show when Jungkook had entered your apartment with a soft knock on the door; had you calling out, “It’s open!”. His quiet voice signalling his presence, “It’s Jungkook!” You only waved your hand in response, but realised he couldn’t see you.

He entered after a few moments, a small smile on his face. Decked in all black, you were wondering how he survived in the day. Jungkook padded into the living room carrying a recyclable bag – probably snacks – since you told him that a friend of yours rejected you and you felt bummed and let Jungkook know over the phone.

“Hey, do you want me to place this somewhere?” He asked you mellowly.

“Anywhere is fine, thanks,” You replied tiredly.

Jungkook tried to get you out of the apartment when you called, saying that the two of you should go somewhere to get your mind off of it. But you just wanted to hang out at your place, and Jungkook being Jungkook, felt obliged to come over after you covered for him on one of his blind dates that went wrong.

He placed the bag next to the table top, pulling out a couple of your favourite snacks, and his.

“Hey, uh,” Jungkook began looking around except to you, “Do you feel like talking…about it?” He finished with a slight cough.

You only got up and hugged him, tears brimming from your eyes as he patted your shoulder wordlessly. The friend you had known for about 3 years had rejected you because, well, you found out to be dating someone else. They hadn’t told you because truth to be told, they hadn’t really been speaking to you all that often. Every time you mentioned them, Jungkook would always ask if you were really friends rather than acquaintances. He said nothing now, as he watched you grip his shirt in unnerving sadness and loss.

Jungkook shifted to sit the two of you on the couch, grabbing the remote and switching it to Netflix, grateful that you had a smart TV. He tapped your shoulder, and your puffy eyes and red cheeks broke his heart as you reached for the remote. Cycling through the movies on display, he tried cracking jokes at some of the titles, but he wasn’t as good as his boxing partner Seokjin.

Still, it made you laugh a little. Which helped, he thought.

You chose a light-hearted movie, looking up at Jungkook for his approval. He just shrugged as you pressed play. That evening atmosphere just came easily for you both, as the movie played Jungkook kept checking up on you. Worried when there was an emotional scene, he’d pat your shoulder and whisper encouragements.

Like this, you settled into a relaxed state. Wiping your tears as the movie moved forward. Jungkook was one of the people who’d always be lifting you up. Being friends came as easy as breathing, and the support you got was something you’d never want to trade anything for.

You hoped that Jungkook thought the same, as things piled up for the both of you in life. The solid rock that was you two for each other always made everything better. Ever since Jungkook came over, you hadn’t looked at your phone once. Hadn’t thought about that friend at all.

In all honesty, you were so thankful to have someone like Jungkook as a friend. As he held you throughout the movie, you thought that this is what bliss is like.

You wouldn’t trade Jungkook’s friendship for anything, as Jungkook and you curled up with each other as the movie played.

#jungkook x reader #platonic relationship #bts fluff #bts and reader #fluff #jeon jungkook x reader

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