imposter syndrome: is a psychological occurrence in which people doubt their skills, talents, or accomplishments and have a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as frauds.
i’m living the life my parents always wanted
achieving good grades and having good friends
being offered to colleges
having fun
they didn’t have this life because they had me
i took away a their freedom
i took away their fun
i took away any aspirations they had
now i’m the one to go and pursue mine
it feels wrong
i feel guilty
i wish they were able to live their life and pursue their goals
just as i am.
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TW: Mentions of SH
The world did in fact end at 11 because 6 years later I can’t stay clean anymore.
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healing is taking too long what if i just kill myself
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thinking about how different things would have been if it never happened
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i’m sorry
if i
wasn’t
the daughter
you had
in mind.
-i only ever wanted to make you proud
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Every time I think I’m okay, I find myself going back to the person I became 6 years ago.
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you may have forgotten but I have a list of what you did to me.
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can the touch please go away I don’t want to think about it anymore.
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trying to fit in is so hard because eventually you forget who you actually are.
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The feeling of wanting someone to see how bad you’re struggling never leaves
I could never tell anyone because no one would understand.
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"I wish that you liked me."
"Of course I love you."
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I wish wish none of it ever happened.
I wish when I close my eyes I didn’t feel the different handprints.
I wish I would’ve spoken up sooner.
I wish I could say it all.
I wish I could tell it all.
I wish that people wouldn’t look at me that way.
I wish I could say no.
I wish I had a voice.
I wish I could take it all away.
I wish they would leave me alone.
I wish I’ve never been touched.
I wish…
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sponges absorb so much up until they can’t.
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I’ve never felt so alone. I have friends and they mean so much to me and they light up my world but I still feel cold and all alone. No one knows how I feel. No one knows what’s going on inside my head.
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