Epilogue to Maurice

“The axe is laid unto the root of the trees…” This text, so well expressing her own state, rose unbidden into Kitty’s mind. It had been induced by a distant sound of wood-cutting but she was unconscious of this. She was bicycling alone through a haggard country. All leaves had been stripped from the branches by an earlier gale, and now the wind boomed in monotonous triumph under a light brown sky. In such weather, the world seems emptied of good; warmth has gone, ice and snow, splendid in their own fashion, have not yet arrived. And Kitty had nothing to do, did not know where she was going, and did not care. She had left the high road because it wearied her, and turned into plantations; the track sloped, but into the wind, so that she still had to pedal, and over a worse surface. After an hour more she would get back to the inn where she was stopping, and eat her solitary tea. “The axe is laid…therefore every tree which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down…but no one wants to be barren,” she thought. “No one asks to be cross and sad, or five years older. Some of us might have brought forth fruit if we’d been nourished properly.” And sighing she cycled on, while the sound of the chopping grew more distinct. At twenty seven Kitty was as old as most women at forty; youth had found no resting place either in her body or mind. Since Violet Tonks had married—that rather than her brother’s disgrace had been the crisis—she had lost her vigour, no longer attended concerts, lectures on hygiene &c, or cared for the improvement of the world; but looked after her mother or helped the Chapmans wearily. Now and then she “struck,” as she termed it; must have a “real holiday alone,” as on the present occasion. But she never came home refreshed. She could not strike against her own personality. “Can I get out this way?” she called to the woodman. He nodded, and replied in an independent voice “If you see my mate, Miss, will you ask him to bring up a saw he has, please.” “Yes, if I see him,” said Kitty, who felt that a liberty had been taken with her. But speech had interrupted her thoughts, and when the axe recommenced, it was as a human sound. Half a mile on, she saw the second man. He was piling logs at the side of a clearing. She called to him, and as he approached, she recognized her brother. He seemed a common labourer—not as trim as he who had accosted her. His trousers were frayed, his shirt open at the throat: he began to button it with hard brown fingers as she cried “Maurice.” But beneath the exterior a new man throbbed—tougher, more centralised, in as good form as ever, but formed in a fresh mould, where muscles and sunburn proceed from an inward health. “What, you’re never still in England…disgraceful…abominable…” She spoke not what she felt, but what her training ordained, and as if he understood this he did not reply, nor look her in the face. He seemed to be waiting—like the woods—till her sterile reproofs were over. “We none of us miss you,” she continued. “We never even mention you. Arthur tells us not to even ask what you did. I shall not tell mother I’ve seen you for she’s had enough to bear. A man further up gave me a message to you about a saw, or I wouldn’t have spoken otherwise.” “Which saw?” These were the only words he uttered: his voice was rougher, but still low, and very charming. “I don’t know and I don’t care,” she said, flying into a rage. Maurice picked up two saws, listened to the noise the axe made, and moved away carrying the smaller. It was her last view of him. The road twisted out of the wind, and before she had recovered her temper she was coasting away far below. The evening grew more dreary, and sky tree hedges acquired a granulated appearance, as though rust were forming on them, and announcing the earth’s extinction. As the tea brought warmth to her mind, Kitty began recalling her brother’s disappearance. She had never thrashed it out. “Something too awful” had been hinted by her brother-in-law, who knew most, and had been in secret communication with Clive. Clive would make no pronouncement, and had refused point blank to see Mrs Hall and be questioned by her. The two families drifted apart—the more quickly because old Mrs Durham and Pippa spread a rumour that Maurice had speculated on the Stock Exchange. This annoyed the Halls, for the boy, like his father, had always been most careful, and Kitty was allowed to write one of her sharp letters; she remembered its wording very clearly now, in the solitude of this Yorkshire inn. But what was the “awful thing”? Why should a sane wealthy unspiritual young man drop overboard like a stone into the sea, and vanish?—drop without preparation or farewell? The night of the wonderful sunset he had not returned—to the vexation of Aunt Ida, now dead, who desired a motor-ride, and on the morrow he was not at the office, nor at a dinner appointment with Clive. Beyond that she knew nothing, for masculinity had intervened. It was a man’s business, Arthur had implied: women may weep but must not ask to understand, and he warned them against communicating with the Police. She had wept duly, and comforted poor mother, but emotion had now been dead there—many years, and Oh what was it? She longed to know. What force could have driven her brother into the wilderness? Then she thought “He’s not alone there: he’s working under that other man,” and with a flash but without the slightest shock the truth was revealed to her. “He must be very fond of his mate, he must have given up us on his account, I should imagine they are practically in love.” It seemed a very odd situation to her, once which she had never heard of and had better not mention, but the varieties of development are endless: it did not seem a disgusting situation, nor one that society should have outlawed. Maurice looked happy and proud despite his cheap clothes and the cold. She remembered how his face had changed when she spoke of the saw: it was the only remark that had moved him: abuse, entreaties, sermons, were all powerless against his desire to work properly with his friend. “Which saw?” Nothing else mattered, and he had left her. Well, and she didn’t mind. He could if he liked. She had never cared for him, and didn’t now, but she did understand him, and could dwell on him at last without irritation. She saw why he had always repelled her, in spite of surface generosities, why she and her sister, and even her [ }m, and lived in a state of war. What were their thoughts now? And as the evening drew on, and the carpet bulged up in the wind, Kitty’s own thoughts grew less sociological. In particular, she began to think of the unknown friend as a human being, and to be interested in him. She felt that though commoner than her brother, he might be nicer to a woman, she liked his strong loose body and the softness of his brave eyes, and wanted to see him again. He was “the sort of person in whom all meet"—so with unconscious felicity she expressed Alec’s nature, and she found herself asking the landlady about the men who worked in the woods through which she had bicycled. Her question was vague, as was the landlady’s answer: there were so many woods, she implied, and so many men, and some came and others went. "It must be much too cold up there alone,” said Kitty, whose idea of love, though correct, remained withered: for Maurice and Alec were at that moment neither lonely nor cold. Their favourite time for talking had been reached. Couched in a shed near their work—to sleep rough had proved safer—they shared in whispered review the events of the day before falling asleep. Kitty was included, and they decided to leave their present job and find work in a new district, in case she told the Police, or returned. In the glow of manhood “There we shall be safe” they thought. They were never to be that. But they were together for the moment, they had stayed disintegration and combined daily work with love; and who can hope for more?

“Epilogue (1914),” Maurice, by E. M. Forster First published in 1999 by Andre Deutsch Ltd Copyright 1999 The Provost and Scholars of King’s College, Cambridge NOTE: Forster wrote of this “Epilogue”: “…one wants to know more about him and Alec for every reason, and there was an epilogue, featuring them x-years later, but all who read it thought it bad, so did I, so I scrapped it in the final version.” –from a letter to Stephen Spender, dated 25 August 1933.

Dune (2021); A Review

(So I wrote this HUGEASS review and then Tumblr fucking crashed, very pissed. I don't remember what I wrote exactly but I remember bits and pieces)

So, I've started reading the book now, after watching the movie, yes. The book is looking great, I'm like 30 pages in tho. The casting and acting are perfect I feel, cause it's pretty obvious. I loved the cinematography too, it was beautiful. I loved how it reflects in real life and everything too. For a possibly really long franchise that hasn't been announced yet (cause, there's like 15 dune books), this movie was a GREAT opener. Really focused on what's important while keeping the plot crystal clear and not all over the place, like I understood everything and it was like 4 am in the morning or maybe the plot isn't that complicated, you see this is bit of a problem cause I haven't read the book so I can't compare or say much but I'll try to elaborate how the movie felt as somebody whose never read the books.

{SPOILER ALERT} I am a little obsessed with the scene where Leto dies and Paul and Jessica are escaping as well. Like it escalated at a very cool pace. I totally had forgotten for a moment that Leto had that poison tooth thingy in the first place and I really liked him as a character too, his death feels like a total waste tho now, considering the fact that Vladimir lives yet Paul and Jessica's life is totally ripped to shreds. Like the irony is ✨✨✨, somehow.

Anyway, I'm really excited for the sequel, 'cause the movie (it did say it's the first part) really left you nowhere of somewhere really-really specific. I'm really looking forward to Paul's character arc and his relationship with Chani and his mother.

Like it's a solid 4.3 out of 5 cause I haven't read the books so I don't know much but the rest of it is really great.

3rd August - What is your least favourite thing about the beach?

THE SANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!

not at all saying this because I'm an Anakin simp (wink (too lazy to use emojis today))

but the first time I went to the beach, The first thing I did was to get my whole below-knee area wet af

and after that we had a super long walk to a market that was somewhere on the beach and the wind started blowing and the sand flew and stuck to my legs like darts, like GAWD, I was four, what did I do to you?

they were THE MOST PAINFUL HOURS of my four-year-old life

~A bit about today~

was stressful afffffff, I had a test and my hands are cramping so hard like omfg!

anyway, I didn't post yesterday cause, it was pretty shitty yesterday. Like we had a super long electricity cut in our neighbour-hood (Indians know exactly what I'm talking about *smirks in pain*

I also stubbed my pinky toe yesterday in the worst way possible, so, I was sleepy as hell, and I was going to the bathroom, so we have this semi Lappato wall and its end tiles' joint just got between my pinky toe and the rest of the foot *cries in I fucking hate it here* and it still hurts so much

1st August - What do you do when you go to the beach?

So, I don't go to beaches often because I live in the non-coastal region of India, so yeah, no beaches here

But when I do go, like on vacations, I,

🐚usually collect A LOT of seashells and starfishes (the ones I found were dried and super small, they might be known as something else where you live)

🌊stand in water, mind you no swimming at all, cause my family would never let me lol, but like, stand where the water hits the shore watching the sunset and/or moonrise

🍽dine or breakfast since all the beaches I've been to, have tons of open restaurants

🦀as a kid, I used to look for crabs EVERYWHERE like I'm not kidding, I would've killed to see a crab.

PS. I haven't been to a fricking beach since 2016 lmao, the beach is definitely not one of my top destinations for a vacation, especially in India cause it IS hell here and beaches are wayyyyy worse, my family goes to hill stations in summer and we usually go to coastal areas during winter or spring break and maybe this year or next we might go.

Anyway, Happy August! Mine is so tight and packed, just thinking about it makes me sleepy af lmao

it like 8:28 pm here and I'm so sleepy damn...

I forgot what was my closing phrase(-ish) but I do remember I put the emoji and gif 🌿

I was telling my friends the same thing other day

my hatred for jk rowling grows stronger every day

I will never forget the day I saw my "shit eating grin" when I saw loki

📜Since studying sucks for ALL of us so, why not? 📜

So, since someone with moderate ADHD, I have a hard time getting motivated to do anything

So, academia is just romanticizing studying for it to be more appealing than it is.

There are lots of ways to romanticize

you can think about what you wanna be and romanticize your dream life and that'll probably motivate you

or you can just choose an aesthetic

I love romantic, light and dark academia and I have a Pinterest board so whenever I feel unmotivated I just scroll thru that board

Here are some famous academic aesthetics you should totally try and pick up your own style

Now many people think it's problematic at times but romanticizing works so strongly on me every time, I can't even elaborate it properly

The academias:

Tumblr and Pinterest are literally THE BEST sources to learn more about all of these and try them so I definitely suggest this method next time you feel unmotivated

Now again, not everything works for everyone but again, saying this for the third time, try it.

Now go out and romanticize it babe

A homophobic-toxic friend of mine said "how could you? I mean it's so weird you like BOTH of them?" and she went on about how it's an abnormality

thank gawd that hoe's not in my life anymore🙄

REBLOG IF YOU SUPPORT BISEXUALS!!

My parents are saying “I need to make my mind up” and I want to prove them that bisexuals are valid

Extensions at your service 🧩

Coffeelings:

a super aesthetic and minimalist journal and mood tracker

Dark Reader:

Now, if your screen's white theme is blinding you, this one's for you. It basically provides you dark mode for every website that doesn't even google searches, yes.

Forest:

now, you can set a timer for as long as you want and while you're focused on your task, you grow an adorable little plant side by side! I know! also, you can block sites that you know will distract you and if you go to the site your plant will die. Forest also has an android and IOS app but you'll have to pay for it whereas the extension is free.

Google Dictionary:

it's a lotta work to open up a new tab just to know what's the meaning of a word, with google dictionary, just click on its teeny icon and type the word and there you go. You can highlight the word and right-click on it and select the google dictionary option.

Grammarly:

This one is a fvcking must, yes its ad is hilarious (and its tik tok is ringing at the back of my head) but seriously. Grammarly sometimes even works as google dictionary too you know, and I don't have the premium cause the non-premium one works just as fine for me.

Otto:

Now, otto, I like this more than I should. It's like forest but more maximized while staying minimal. It has a timer for work and as soon as it's up it cues the break timer and you can block sites with this one too!

Picture-in-Picture Extension (by Google):

This one is for (the boys with the booming system, top-down AC with a cooler system...) when you wanna watch something side by side while doing anything at all and this one I'm truly grateful for, makes life so much fvcking easier.

TLDR This:

this one is more of a site than it is than its extension but it's in my extension section soooooo...

When you wanna shorten up a long ass article TLDR will do it for you.

Dualless:

splits your windows like you want them to. Helps multitask

Eyecare:

in the name.

Memorize:

Here is how it works:

1) you enter a list of questions and answers in the following format: [question1]:[ansqer1] [question2]:[answer2] Example (learning german vocabulary): Inventor:der erfinder Artist:der Kunstler Painter:der Maler History:die Geschichte German culture:die deutsche kultur and so on.

2) Set the interval between asking each question.

3) Click start. Questions are shuffled. When you answer correctly on the first or second try, the question will be removed from the list of asked questions. Questions will be asked until you are able to answer every single of them correctly, or until you click stop.

{okay, so apparently you can only make 10 link block per post, sol I have wayyy more extensions left, so this post is to be continued}

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Today's post is part one of a small series of helpful resources and two more coming in the following days

and damn, I'm not really good at explaining something's features am I? 😂

Anyway, hope you find them helpful as I do and I have to say, In the smallest of the ways they make online school and studying all over so, so much easier

Happy Weekend! 🌿💕

🧠Since memorizing everything is some hard shit, allow me... 🧠

Science has my entire back on this one...

Now, I'm gonna be talking about three techniques, two of them are gonna help if you have a test really soon the other one is in for a long run.

"The Generation Effect"

being tested is supposed to help others evaluate your progress, but it turns out that testing isn't a very good evaluation tool.

It actually functions better as a learning tool but only if used properly. This may seem Counter-Intuitive but first, you should test yourself before you even know the material. For example, start with the practice test even before you started studying it. You'll get answers wrong, But your brain is forced to generate answers, you'll be creative, panicked and end up priming your neurology to learn the correct new answers. This technique works on "The Hypercorrection Effect": when you make a mistake on some type of general information and later find out you're wrong, you're much more likely to remember the correct answer. For example, you're certain the capital city of India is Mumbai but later find out it is in fact New Delhi, you are much more likely to remember that forever compared to somebody who was just simply told the answer New Delhi.

Your brain Hypercorrects. One theory behind this states that surprise and embarrassment play a role, That's why you probably remember everything embarrassing thing that happened to you so far 😂(😥)

Now My Personal Experience: On this one, in April, I had a 20 marks test every week and so my teachers would ask us questions related to the test during classes and I used to get most of them wrong, and after the embarrassment, the test came I actually did better than my classmates.

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"Spacing"

This one is the one for the long run now...

For spacing, you're gonna wanna practice and then almost forget the material and then practice again.

One particular study had students learning Spanish, each group had eight hours to study. The first group studied intensively for eight hours in one day while the second group studied for four hours one day and then one month later studied for another four hours and an entire month later.

So both groups had the same amount of study time just distributed differently. After only getting 8 hours of practice they tested them 8 years later.

Both groups were tested on their Spanish vocabulary and by now you probably guessed the group that spaced their studying over a month gap performed 250% better. Remember this is 8 years later that they're being tested.

My Personal Experience On This: So, in 4/5th grade, I used to jump from learning greek to french to Spanish and so on, so last year staying inside I picked french again, remember this is 4/5 years later, and remembered all the basics very well! I was surprised but now it makes sense!

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"Interleaving"

So, what studies have found is that instead of studying the same thing over and over again, if you mix up or vary the challenge the benefits are huge. At the moment this process might be a lot more frustrating and you may even think that you are learning more slowly but that's why it's so counterintuitive.

Let's take a look at some examples that could apply to your life. All of which have come from a wonderful book called "Range" by David Epison. if you have any interest in high performance and improving skills, this books will change your perspective so I highly recommend it.

First, we are gonna talk about motor skills like piano, so a particularly tricky thing to do is jump "A", big inter violin-piano really quickly so say starting at "C" and then jumping 20 keys really quickly, it takes a lot of coordination and muscle memories to do that quickly without thinking about it without accidentally hitting other keys along the way.

So this study had one group practised the 20 keys jump over and over and they have gone relatively good at it pretty quickly. But the second group had practised not only the 20 key jumps but also mixing a 15 key jump and 10 key jumps

So, ultimately they had to practise but the 20 key jumps but had interleaved or mixed practised by using a bunch of different intervals obviously it would have been a lot more frustrating to be learning multiple intervals at once the 20 key, the 15 key, the 10 key but when they brought the groups back what they found was that the group that practised interleaved or mixed practised was better every single interval including the 20 key jumps. Even though they technically had less practice with it the same has been shown in mathematics. Rather than practising one type of problem over and over, mixing different kinds of problems in between makes the process harder but develops stronger skills.

It's very shocking how bigger difference this type of interleaving makes.

Looked at math skills in grade 7 students. Those that used interleaving or mixed practice saw an effect size of approving someone's from the 50% of skill to the 80%, that is like being an average student to being someone who is definitely something brown parents will dig, which is an ultimate math god.

If you're using cue cards makes sure you're mixing up different themes within those cue cards.

My Personal Experience On This: Now, I have never really tried this before, so that's why I tried my best to elaborate on it as much as I could. But while researching on this, so far this one deeply impressed me, and my mom was a mathematics teacher before my brother was born (she also taught commerce but that's irrelevant) so, she was a middle and high school teacher and she ALWAYS keeps suggesting me, but hey, there's a reason I say relatable to a meme which is about being a disappointment 😐, anyway, I do really look forward to trying this one.

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All this research is incredibly significant because of evidence-based solutions especially in space like education.

And the idea for today's post was suggested by my wonderful girl, @agents-of-shield-fan

and if you want me to make my next post on something you have in my mind, tell me!

Now go ahead and ✨ S H I N E ✨ babe 🤗🌿💕

✨Binge watching and Studying✨

So, for the past month, I've been using Animedoro and I'm obsessed with it

I know what you might be thinking that it's a highly tricky pair, but hear me out

So, Animedoro is based on Pomodoro just way more effective

What's Pomodoro you ask?

well, In Pomodoro you study for 25 minutes and take a break of 5 minutes and after four cycles take one for 15/30 minutes

But, Pomodoro, including me, isn't really effective for many students cause 25 minutes is just not enough to get in flow you can break off soon like you sit down, open your book and the timer's up! and you can't even pee in 5 minutes, now don't get me wrong, if Pomodoro does wonders for you then that's great!

Now, In Animedoro, you study for 40/60 Minutes and then take a break of 10/20 minutes, since an anime episode is usually 20 mins long, and sitcoms episodes too or you can watch whichever show you fancy, and after these 4 cycles you take a longer break for like an hour or so

I study for 40 minutes then take a break of 20 minutes (these days I'm watching Brooklyn 99 and that 70s show) and after 4 cycles I watch an hour episode of any show (The Vikings)

Or In the hour-long break, you can go out and stretch or you can add small teen tiny breaks between your four cycles to cause, staying off the screen is important and stretching your body and having fresh air might even make you 10x more productive!

*In rick the hormone monster's voice* Now Grab that anime/sitcom/show you wanna watch and your books and get down to business baby! (although I think he might suggest "you know what" considering he's a hormone monster 😂)

Hello There!

About me:

I’m a high schooler

Huge nerd, approach with caution

Aries/Taurus sun- Gemini Moon- Capricorn Rising

INTJ-A (MBTI)

Introvert with anxiety, ofc

Matcha Green colour is my favourite but sage studies sounded better at that moment XD

Why I started this blog?

My main motive behind this is to be accountable and productive while motivating and helping others!

What my posts will be about:

Main

Study Tips

Book, Movies, TVshows and series/franchises review and suggestions

Month recaps

Maybe some aesthetic notes while I’m here?

Side-by-side

Occasional fangirling

Some spiritual content

Life Updates

Fandoms I’m in(not in any order):

Marvel franchise

Star Trek franchise

Star wars franchise

A song of ice and fire series and Gam of thrones, its prequels, sequels everything but its finale cause, the finale was a fanfiction written by D&D who have no love and respect for the books

The office

The big bang theory

That 70s show

Brooklyn 99

Shadow and Bone

Lord of the Rings universe

I’m really sure there are more I can go on about but, let’s stop here 😌

I hope this gave an idea about me and this blog, feel free to talk to me about literally anything! We all can be besties and accountability partners 🦋🤗

GOOD DAY TO YOU! 💕🌿