I want to share my art to the internet but I have to be lucky to get anywhere.

I don’t have that kind of luck.

I just want people to see my drawings/music/writing without feeling like it’s just going to be nothing.

I don’t like attention but I do like making people happy or having a nonexistent connection.

It feels nice to make people happy. But I don’t want to post my art if it doesn’t mean anything.

Life is hard and I wish it could stop reminding me for TWO seconds.

I hate that people are social creatures.

I hate having the thought that there is someone out there who feels the same as me and likes the same things as me, but we will never meet because we wouldn’t be able to understand each other or we just pass by each other.

I hate wanting to lock myself in my room with no one around. Feeling my friends aren’t really friends or even real.

Maybe that’s why I find comfort in typing this down here. I can’t see anyone but I still feel a connection to no one in particular.

The internet is scary and cruel but sometimes it’s someone’s only comfort.

I feel best when I scream to the empty room or when I’m being groomed I HATE IT.

I always represent myself in characters but I take away my disability and I’m dating a bunch of older men, it’s not who I actually am I don’t support it.

I just feel awful because I was groomed, but want it to still happen to me, constantly romanticizing while finding it disgusting. I can’t make up my mind.

I’m hyper sexual but asexual. I constantly want romantic relationships but it revolts me. I know it’s due to trauma. I just don’t know what to do.

I hate that the internet is supposed to be an easier place to make friends but I still have the same anxieties as in real life.

I have friends yes, but I feel like I have to constantly care for them. No matter how much I act myself around them it feels hollow.

I hate being the only one in the friend group without friends outside the group.

At school I have friends, the moment I leave I have two to one from school, and they always put the other friend over me.

I hate being diagnosed as autistic because no one gets it. Even my friends with autism. I often have to lead the group because I’m “high functioning”. I love them, but the pressure I feel to not have autistic tendencies so I can care for them.

It’s stressful.

How can I be so alone but constantly around people. I have no reason to complain about being alone because I’m not putting myself out there enough, but I feel like others might understand. That this anonymous comment on the internet might connect to someone and they feel the same. If no one sees it then I don’t care, I don’t feel guilty about venting into a void.

I hate not being able to remember trauma because then I to ether remember or have it happen in a way I can’t forget. Like let me remember or get the fuck out.

Wtf

Why does my brain sexualize my trauma, like not just the sexual trauma the medical too???

I hate how I feel.

I don’t want to think that it’s okay, but I do it to cope.

I shouldn’t cope like this.

I have friends and family who care. But I still feel so alone. I feel so empty and weak. I know that my coping mechanisms are bad, but I really don’t care anymore. I understand I’m yelling to an empty room. It doesn’t matter to me, when I see other who feel the same as me I feel better.