Okay | Bucky Barnes
summary: The Winter Soldier program is back, and youâre on a mission to take it down. But things donât always go as planned.
pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
warnings: fluff, fighting, hurt/comfort, mentions and depictions of blood and violence
word count: 2,280
a/n: sooo hi, this is my first fic! I had a dream about it and thought Iâd write it down. Iâd like to believe this is me and Buck in another universe. Enjoy, and let me know if you have any requests!Â
*a/n: hi all had to delete the blog and repost the entire thing because it glitched and wouldn't let me interact. lost all my engagement sadly đ„ș
âHowâs it going, guys?â You could hear Steveâs hushed voice through the comms.
You were on an op with Steve, Natasha, Bucky, and Sam. Hydra has been operating underground for a few months now, and your team has been tracking their whereabouts and what they were doing.
When the information first came in, Bucky was devastated. They were trying to rebuild the Winter Soldier program. Zemo had executed all the Soldiers Bucky has trained as the former assassin; there werenât supposed to be any more.
âI shouldâve known they were going to try again!â His red rimmed eyes pleaded with you to understand the agony he was feeling. âI was supposed to be the last one.â
He spent an entire week in his room, barely eating, barely speaking, and your heart was breaking for him.
So right now, in the Hydra base you had found a couple of days ago, you were trying to complete your mission and get the hell out of there before it became too much for Bucky. Each of you had your specific role to ensure speed and efficiency. Steve and Natasha were paired up together trying to get the super soldiers out of their cryostasis chambers, Sam was blocking the entrance with not so friendly fire, and you and Bucky were retrieving all the information and data you could before you burn the place to the ground.
âAlmost done, Stevie.â You said as you rushed to get everything onto the disk you had plugged into the computer. The screen emitted a low light, being the only thing that illuminated the dark room other than the hallwayâs flickering fluorescents. Bucky was next to the door, eyes frantic and gun in hand, ready for anyone that might come your way.
âYou okay, Buck?â Your worried glance wasnât lost on him, but the last thing he wanted was for his fear to jeopardize the mission.
âYeah⊠yeah.â He sighed as he scratched his neck.
The low beep behind you broke your gaze on him.
âOkay, thatâs it, letâs get the hell out of here.â
He smiled softly at you, and put his hand to his comm.
âCap, weâre done. Status?â
âOn our way out, meet you back at the quinjet.â Steveâs tone instantly gave away that he wasnât feeling well after whatever he saw in that other room.
âOkay.â You whispered as you went to pull the drive out.
Immediately, a dozen small screens lit up on the wall behind the computer, flashing with images and videos that made your stomach churn.
âNone of them turned out like you, Soldat.â
You turned only to see Buckyâs hardened eyes. But you know him too well, and you could see the panic rumbling just beneath the surface, threatening to erupt at any given second.
âWe always wondered why,â Zolaâs mechanical voice echoed in the half empty room, âIt did not matter though. The serum and programming have been perfected to overcome that thing you like to call morality.â
Buckyâs hands were shaking by now. Â You could tell he was restraining himself. You were almost out of there, just a few steps, a few minutes.
âIt has come to my attention that you deprogrammed in the time weâve been apart, Sergeant Barnes. How well did that work out.â
âYou canât control him anymore.â You called out angrily. How did he still have the guts to think he can intimidate Bucky?
âYou canât control me anymore.â Bucky whispered, repeating your sentiment.
There was an ominous pause before the voice spoke out again.
âLonging.â
Your neck strained with how fast your head turned to look at Bucky. His jaw clenched and unclenched; his hand fisted at his sides, the other gripping the gun tighter.
âRusted.â
You had known Bucky long enough to know his trigger words.
âSeventeen.â
âIt wonât work!â Bucky yelled.
âDaybreak.â
âIâm not him anymore!â
âFurnace.â
âBucky,â your eyes were wide at this point.
âNine.â
âYouâve already beaten this.â Your voice bellowed in the small room.
âBenign.â
He was shaking, sweat pooling on his forehead. His eyes were cast downwards, and you could see tears falling freely.
âHomecoming.â
âYou need to get out of here.â His eyes held yours, his gun now discarded on the floor next to him.
âNo, Buck, youâre okay!â You tried to reason with him.
âOne.â
âNo,â He whispered as he fell to his knees, âNO!â he yelled at the ceiling, mad at Hydra, mad at Zola, mad at himself.
âBucky?â You called as you took a step forward.
âGet back!â His full body was shaking at this point, his eyes trained on the floor, âI said get out! Please!â
âAre you sure? Â Okay, I will.â
âFreight car.â
It was too late.
His eyes instantly flicked up to you, and you stopped dead in your tracks.
âSoldat?â Zola called out.
âReady to comply.â
âNoâŠâ You gasped.
âKill her, then await further instructions.â There was smugness in Zolaâs voice, and you wanted to throw up.
âBucky, you know me.â You tried as he got up on his feet.
No answer.
He just stared at you like he never even spent a minute with you before.
âWeâre friends!â
He took a step forward, before looking down at his gun.
It all happened so quickly. He bent down to grab it, as you went for the gun in your holster. He was firing at you before you could even blink.
But you couldnât shoot at him.
You hid behind the desk and closed your eyes.
âBuck, I donât wanna do this!â
The bullets stopped, and you opened your eyes, âBucky?â you breathed out.
Suddenly he was rounding the desk corner, his gun already aimed at you. You scrambled to get up and hide behind the other side, firing one warning shot at the ceiling.
You were suddenly lifted into the air, a strong black and gold metal hand wrapped around your neck from behind you, before being slammed back first onto the desk.
âBucky, please!â You tried to choke out, but his eyes were emotionless. Dead.
You had to do something, to fight, or just lie back down and die. Bucky wouldnât want that.
You lifted your knee and slammed it into his ribcage, successfully pulling him off you for a moment. Before he could hold you down again, you rolled to the side and off the desk, your gun aimed at him. You had to shoot him, you had to. He was gonna kill you. He was already aiming at you.
But your finger hesitated on the trigger. How could you shoot your Buck?
He started shooting again, and you shot at his gun. It fell scattering to the floor, and he stared at it for half a second before lunging at you. He grabbed you by the shoulders, throwing you like a ragdoll to slam against the wall. You tried to get up, but your arms were too weak.
âYour name is James Buchanan Barnes,â you wiped the blood from your now split lip, âYou were born in 1917, your sister is called Rebecca. Your best friend is Steve Rogers, and heâs right outside. Iâm your friend, and I donât wanna hurt you.â
He stared at you, eyes blank. Then only for a second, something flashed in them.
But his gun was aimed at you again faster than whatever you saw in his eyes.
âOkay then, Bucky. Shoot me. Kill me. Youâre my friend, and I know this isnât your fault.â You said as you pressed your comms discretely.
âWhat? Whatâs going on?â Steveâs panicked voice could be heard, but you guessed it was only in your comm, not Buckyâs too.
âI know youâre trying to fight it,â his eyes looked pained behind the scope of his gun, âPlease fight it, Buck.â
âHold tight, weâre coming to you.â Steve said with resolve, and you were left with trying to distract the soldier for a while longer.
âDo you remember when you saved me on my first mission?â You wondered out loud.
He stayed silent, not shooting, but not lowering his gun.
âI was bleeding out, and man did you hate my guts,â you laughed lowly.
âBut you saved me anyway, you took care of me till we got back to the compound, you stayed by my bed till I could actually stand on my feet.â
His chin trembled and there was pain in his eyes.
âYouâre that Bucky, youâre not him anymore.â
His eyes widened as his gun fell to the floor, him falling to his knees along with it, his head in his hands. His breathing was labored, and he was almost sobbing. But as he looked up, he saw someone else there.
The Winter Soldier was in front of him, like a sick twisted physical manifestation of the monster that tortured him for dozens of years.
He stood tall and proud, staring at James that trembled weakly on the floor.
âYouâre not real.â Bucky whispered.
âOf course, I am. I am you.â The soldier said lowly, blankly.
âBuckyâŠ?â You were confused at this point. He just stopped fighting you altogether, and now he was talking to himself?
âNo⊠Iâm not you anymore.â
âWhatâs going on? Who are you talking to?â Your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to scoot closer to him, but it was like he couldnât even see you.
âYou will always be me. I will always be part of you.â The soldier said confidently, flexing his silver metal arm.
Bucky sobbed helplessly into his hands, whispering âNoâ over and over again.
âIâm going to take over now, and Iâll continue my kill count, starting with her.â He pointed a hand at you.
That was it.
He was instantly up on his feet, âNO! You leave her out of this.â
By now you had an idea of what was going on inside Buckyâs brain. âThatâs it, Buck! Fight him!â
âCome on James, this is who you really are.â The soldier said with a head tilt, taunting Bucky even more.
âMy name is James Bucky Barnes, and I am no longer the Winter Soldier.â
To you it just looked like Bucky collapsing on the floor, holding his head, screaming.
But to him, it was so much more.
He was fighting the soldier, hand to hand. His style was more agitated and aggressive, while the soldierâs was fluid and smooth. Bucky grunted as he took a fist to the gut, but was quick up on his feet, kicking one into the soldierâs knees. The soldierâs legs buckled as he fell, but he ducked just as Buckyâs fist was coming into contact with his face.
No words were exchanged, just pure rage flowed like smoke through the air. The soldier was quick, but he wasnât filled with the determination that Bucky had.
They danced around the room, in a beautiful choreography of desperation and wrath.
Bucky blocked the soldierâs blows, and administered some successful ones of his own. He could do this, he could overpower him, he thought. Bucky kicked him harshly in the chest, and when the soldier doubled over, he held him in a death grip lock.
But he is the Winter Soldier after all. He grabbed Buckyâs arm that was choking him up and flipped him over so he was on his back on the ground. Bucky grunted, and the soldier quickly straddled him to choke him out.
âI will always win, James.â His eyes were blank but focused.
âYouâve never won, Soldat,â Bucky spat through gritted teeth, âYou lost everything, and you will always lose.â
In a split second, Bucky flipped them over, not hesitating to blow one punch after the other.
He screamed louder with each fist that came down on the soldierâs face.
And to you, he was still screaming, holding his head.
His eyes widened suddenly, and his back straightened with a sharp gasp, as if he was under water and had just come up for a breath of fresh air. You scooted quickly to him, just in time as he collapsed into your arms.
âBuck? Bucky? Is that youâ You were panicked.
âIâm not turning into the Winter Soldier.â His eyes fluttered close, âIâm turning into a superhero.â He laughed breathlessly, like he couldnât believe that someone like him could ever be a savior, a helper.
You couldnât help but sigh with a smile, âYou are a superhero, Buck. Youâre an Avenger.â
You heard footsteps in the hallway as Steve and Nat came into view.
âAre you okay? Is he okay?â Steve was breathless, eyes flicking between the two of you.
You nodded and smiled, looking down at Bucky.
He was curled with you on the ground, his hands around your waist and his head on your chest as you sat catching your breaths.
He held onto you, like you were his only lifeline.
He looked up at you with the sweetest eyes and whispered,
âIâm okay. Weâre okay,â
âShe saved me.â His arms tightened around you as he nuzzled his face back into your chest, and you smiled even more.
âYou saved yourself, Buck.â
That night, you went back to the compound, and you gave Bucky the offer to sleep in your room. He accepted it. As you slipped into bed, the both of you didnât even think about keeping your distance from each other.
He was shaken up, and so were you. You never thought you would meet the Winter Soldier, but it must have been harder for Bucky to be him again, after thinking he was finally safe.
You held him through the night, shushing his soft gasps and wiping away tears that strayed from his eyes in his sleep.
Heâll be okay. Youâll both be okay.
51 notes
·
View notes