i just realized i always find people more attractive when they’re at least partially dressed. being completely naked feels very clinical to me.

Being on the ace spec with aesthetic attraction is so rad like 'nooo pls stop taking your clothes off you look so hot having them on' :(

i like having people lust after me. there’s practically no chance of anything coming from it but the power trip i get when i know someone is actually attracted to me is so addictive. the trip makes me all hot and bothered more than the actual act of doing something.

i’ve talked about this before , but one of the main reasons i was in denial about being aroace was bc of the feelings and fantasies id have for fictional characters. i’d have full story lines in my head of falling in love with or getting busy with a fictional and i would feel those romantic/sexual feelings.

but when i’ve had opportunities in real life to be in romantic or sexual (this is very rare and i never want to receive) relationships, it doesn’t interest me at all. even when it comes to my celebrity crushes, i only think they’re attractive past an aesthetic level when they are playing a specific character.

it took me so long to realize that i’ve never felt these feelings for real life people. i just thought that i needed to wait for the right person to come along, and ive tried, but these feelings never came.

now that i’ve figured this out, it’s made me feel more at easy that i’m not just waiting for someone to come along and change my mind. i don’t feel empty anymore.

Bottomline is – of course I want to be loved. Luckily for me, I AM loved, too. So don't you go worrying about me "not being loved".

Okay so I just watched a video of a boy who once identified as trans still got bottom surgery after he realized he was cis and people were so fucking rude? Like just because this cis dude has a vagina people were calling him transphobic and wishing death upon him.

So this is a reminder that when we as a community advocate for bodily autonomy and gender surgeries that means everyone regardless of gender can do whatever they want with their bodies.

If someone who is cisgender wants top/bottom surgery THEY CAN GET IT. If someone wants facial plastic surgeries that we usually find creepy like buccal fat removal or eye lifts THEY CAN GET IT. And here’s the really controversial one but if someone wants to do things that harm their body like hard drugs or diy mods THEY CAN DO IT!

Because body autonomy isn’t just “I can get bottom surgery to pass” or “I can get an abortion” it’s also all the wild stuff that makes us uncomfortable and that’s okay.

I don't wanna hide it in the tags

i think it’s time to admit to myself that the only people i’ve ever had crushes on or felt sexual feelings towards are all fake. now that i think about it, i’ve never fantasized (romantically/sexually) about a real person. it’s always fictional characters or a role a celebrity plays. i really am just a pathetic cupioromantic that was destined to be someone’s devoted lover boy in another life.

i think i was just holding on for so long bc im scared ill never find someone to spend my life with bc most people aren’t going to understand that i cant love them the way they want me to. i can love them, but not romantically and that makes others think i dont really love them. if that makes sense.

same with sex. sex is very important to alot of people when it comes to relationships and me not wanting to do that 90% of the time makes people think i’m not attracted to them or that i don’t want them anymore.

i’m ok with this. i don’t need a romantic relationship. but it also makes me feel so sad and empty sometimes bc i have this deep desire for one but i know ill never have one bc that’s just not how i work.

a toxic family that genuinely loves you and thinks the things they do and say are for your benefit or your actions made them do/say it is so so tiring

i hope black girls with internalized racism have a healing day

I hope black girls with depression have a good day today.

guess who’s secretly packing mine and my brother’s rooms up so we can move back in with our grandfather and finally leave this toxic ass house hold?!?!?!?! this guy, hehe. 😜.

this anxiety that i am feeling if i get caught is monumental. the screaming matches that will happen have me acting like im the new james bond.

a fellow trans told me he thought i was already on T. how?! idk bc im the most feminine trans masc you’ll ever meet, but i will hold that in my heart forever

there is nothing more heartbreaking than when you are everyone’s, literally everyone’s, personal therapist but the second you want to talk to someone about some thing, even if it’s not something serious, you can tell they aren’t actually listening, or they immediately change the topic, or they talk over you. i take on everyone’s problems (not that they care) but you can’t listen to me talk about a movie i just watched?

one thing that’s always bothered me is when people see a very masc or very fem character and completely deny them ever dressing or acting anything but very masc or fem. maybe abby anderson wants to wear a loose sundress when it’s hot out?! maybe angel dust wants to wear a three piece suit to an event instead of a evening gown? people can go outside of their norm every once and a while

you ever meet someone who you are so sure is gonna be trans/homophobic and then they say some shit like “apparently it’s a girl transforming into a boy. that’s neat.” about a new coworker and like,

it’s the little things! love the effort! you’re trying your best, sweetie!

cause i know some other coworkers of mine would have just thrown out the t-slur without a second thought but they’re transferring to a different unit soon so…yay for that.

the wonderful thing about living at home still, is that i NEVER get time to myself. if im off work, someone has to be home sick or take a day off. or they ask me to do something for them since i have the time. or everyone wants to call and text me. i haven’t had a day where i don’t interact with another person in months and im going insane.