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etymolo-drarry-ig · 3 years
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The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows—the book. 12 years in the making. 300 pages, 70% new definitions, including longer video-like essays, otherworldly illustrations, and some thoughts on language and the meaning of life.
Pre-order your copy here (click any of the links on the right side of the page): https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Dictionary-of-Obscure-Sorrows/John-Koenig/9781501153648
Coming November 16, 2021 from Simon & Schuster. 
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etymolo-drarry-ig · 3 years
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Remus: my trauma made me mature
Sirius: my trauma made me funny
James: my trauma made me...I dont know what my trauma made me
Remus: your trauma just made you sad
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etymolo-drarry-ig · 3 years
Conversation
Draco Malfoy after getting his license
Draco: get out of the way, you bitch!
Draco: sorry, I almost said a bad word.
Harry:
Draco: I almost called her a fucking cunt.
Harry:
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etymolo-drarry-ig · 3 years
Conversation
*thunder rumbles in the distance*
Remus: oh, that is the SEXIEST thing i have ever heard
Sirius:
Sirius: explain?
Remus: *panics* uh, i'm—i'm sexually attracted to thunder
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etymolo-drarry-ig · 3 years
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Remus: *walks into the common room*
James and Sirius: *loudly reading faerie smut*
Remus: *leaves the common room*
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etymolo-drarry-ig · 3 years
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The marauders as things my housemates and I have said
Sirius: If there are two things that I love, its terrorist attacks against the British and potatoes
Peter: all of you need to go to horny jail
Remus: I don’t need horny jail because I’m on antidepressants
Remus: *beating raw chicken with a mallet*
James and Sirius, in unison: 👏🏻BEAT👏🏻THAT👏🏻MEAT👏🏻BEAT👏🏻THAT👏🏻MEAT👏🏻
Bonus:
Regulus: If I had to choose one of the TERF-queen’s houses to be in, it’d be Slytherin
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etymolo-drarry-ig · 3 years
Conversation
sirius: i cant wait to go to hogsmeade and get butterbeer. honestly? the best thing ive ever put in my mouth.
remus: excuse me?
sirius: well, maybe second best
remus: thats better
sirius, whispering to james: its definitely the first
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etymolo-drarry-ig · 3 years
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*on remus's 21st birthday*
James: so, remus, do you feel fundamentally different now that you're 21 years old?
Sirius: like an alcoholic, perhaps?
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etymolo-drarry-ig · 3 years
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Sirius: *gushing about how talented and wonderful Remus is*
Remus: yeah some people don't deserve to live, I agree
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etymolo-drarry-ig · 3 years
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Regulus: *says hi to someone in the hallway*
Lily: *gesturing* see?? You do have friends!!
Regulus:
Sirius:
Regulus: that's my brother
Lily: oh
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etymolo-drarry-ig · 3 years
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Marauders Spice:
Sporty spice: James
Baby spice: Peter
Posh spice: Sirius
Scary spice: Remus
bonus:
Ginger spice: Lily
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etymolo-drarry-ig · 3 years
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remus: aw, look at these stickers, they're for the bottoms of your shoes, and they say "she's mine"
sirius: nuh uh, bro. if it ain't a "he's me's" kind of relationship, then I don't want it.
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etymolo-drarry-ig · 3 years
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james: does anyone want some of my circumsized cucumber?
sirius: oh, i do! i love circumsized cucumber!
remus: please just say 'peeled.' please.
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etymolo-drarry-ig · 3 years
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Wolfstar as things my friends have commented on my fanfiction
Remus: I am UPSET but it's fine
Sirius: REMUS NO YOU'RE A PERFECT LITTLE CINNAMON ROLL AND WE'RE HAPPY YOU'RE HERE
Remus: Yeah, that's right, kiss the ever-loving SHIT out of me, buddy
Sirius: We get it, you’re horny for hands 
Remus: STOP CALLING ME OUT LIKE THIS
Sirius: rubber up for narcissa
Sirius: *hands on hips* gay stance
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etymolo-drarry-ig · 3 years
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Remus, during a zoom meeting: yeah, it was really interesting to hear that perspective on—
James, kicking the door open: WHAT UP, PEASANTS?
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etymolo-drarry-ig · 3 years
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Harry: if it starts raining chocolate milk in the dining room, do not be Alarmed
Draco: what
Harry: i said do not be Alarmed
Draco: too late, i'm alarmed.
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etymolo-drarry-ig · 3 years
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Kinda gay to make a wanted poster... why do you want that man? So you can hold him?
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