Thank you for all the love and support on this blog, it truly means a lot to me.

Life’s been a bit hectic lately and I am taking a full break from any type of social media. I intend to come back, don’t worry! I just need a bit of time away for my own mental health. Thanks for understanding, and I’ll see ya on the other side!

(I’ve got a few queued posts before this one, so by the time it goes out I’ll already be inactive. Just letting my queue run out before I go)

It shouldn’t matter if you’re diagnosed, undiagnosed, or even completely neurotypical and able-bodied. EVERYONE should be given accommodations that will make their experience easier in school, work, and life. The idea that accommodations are scarce/not readily available is a scam and entirely untrue. 

‘but if everyone had accommodations we wouldn’t be able to keep up!’ Is it really so hard to just offer someone a separate space for tests, accessible buildings, or even the ability to just EAT or simply GO TO THE BATHROOM when they need? 

Growing up undiagnosed autistic in an unsafe household was wild. 

It took me so long after escaping to be able to realize that I was autistic simply because I didn’t have any of the telltale symptoms due to my trauma. For example, a difficulty to read social cues is one of the biggest things that people see and say ‘autism.’ Growing up in a place where even a slight misstep on my part could lead to severe punishment based on how cranky my parent was, I learned real quick to read every single person in that room to keep myself safe. In addition, I was constantly masking my neurodivergence without even realizing it. What were simply autistic traits led to me being called a bad child and given consequences, so obviously I hid them in an act of self preservation. This certainly did not help in getting a diagnosis since I seemingly displayed so little symptoms as a child. 

This may seem like a really niche subject, but I’ve met a lot of other people who  had the same experience and it needs to be talked about more. Even after diagnosis my father was terrible and told me I made it all up, I have to be faking this, I never acted autistic as a kid. This is the sad reality for way too many people, and it needs way more attention than it gets.

‘You’re only posting this for attention,’

Yeah? That’s the whole point of the internet! We as humans all have a need for attention, we crave it. You do realize how sad and desolate the world would be if nobody got noticed right? 

The reality for many later-life disabled and/or chronically ill people is suddenly realizing one day that you never will reach your dreams. Younger me always dreamed of being a film actor or on Broadway in any type of musical theatre. Now I’m older I realize that I’m not getting better, and I will be in some sort of physical pain for the rest of my life. Not to mention my tics that will never fully go away. With all my disability combined I’ll never be well enough to dance live on stage with few breaks, or have a consistent filming schedule due to unpredictable days. 

The point of this post is to say that you’re not alone in this feeling, and I know I’m not alone either. It sucks that I’ll never get to be what I dreamed because of things I can’t control. It’s ok to mourn the past you who thought they could do anything.

This is just a Blu Eyes appreciation post. Their music is absolutely amazing and was super helpful for me when I was going through a tough time with my chronic illness, so I’d like to share because that’s how I am. 

YES! This ^^^

I’m sure plenty of you have heard of Evie Meg(if you haven’t I sincerely recommend you look her up, she is an amazing disability advocate). Anyways, she was misdiagnosed with FND and other disorders for years before being told she had brain inflammation causing her symptoms. 

DOCTORS ARE HUMAN just like the rest of us, and sometimes they make mistakes. 

Friendly reminder that before diagnosis my disability, neurodivergence, or my mental illness were just as real as after diagnosis.

No diagnosis ≠ faking

You have to have the symptoms and show the signs to even be diagnosed in the first place!

I’m ok with being called almost any of the variations of a name for autism... except for aspie. That word just -eugh- I hate it. 

It’s so heartbreaking to see videos/photos of children and babies who are obviously disabled, and the comments are absolutely FLOODED with hateful people. Do you not realize how awful it is to tell a parent their child's life is not worth saving simply because they’re different from your kid? It’s disgusting how many people say to put the kid down, the parent should have had an abortion, etc, etc. Just because a baby is born different does not mean they deserve to die. Their life is every bit as worthy as that of your own precious kid.

The difference between a CW and a TW

Content Warnings and Trigger Warnings are so often used interchangeably when they are in fact NOT the same! So here’s a quick run down of the difference between them, when and when not to use a CW vs TW, and also how to use them at the very bottom.

CW(Content Warning): As the name implies, this warns people of the content. The main rule of thumb is to use when something in your video could upset a phobia, gross someone out, cause an unwelcome reaction, etc. This would be used if your piece of media contained something like nudity, gory depictions/images, and other things like that. [Examples: CW//Nudity, CW//Tics, CW//Blood)

TW(Trigger Warning): These should be used only when your media could potentially trigger someone. Keep in mind there are multiple different types of triggers, (eg. past trauma vs seizures, both are things that can be triggered but are completely different in their causes). Generally if your content could cause any sort of harm towards another person by the talk/elements of the media, put a trigger warning. [Examples: TW//Eating disorder, TW//Flashing lights, TW//Violence] 

Both: When using either of these, ALWAYS give enough time for the person to leave whatever media it is. Do not put a trigger warning on your video for half a second and say it’s good, give them time to leave. ALWAYS make sure your CW/TW is visible, don’t put it in the comments or at the bottom of a chapter. If they don’t immediately notice it there could be a problem. Lastly, ALWAYS specify what the CW/TW is for. If you simply say ‘TW’ without adding any reason why, people may be missing out on your media that they could have been perfectly fine with but didn’t want to risk. On the flip side, someone who thought ‘maybe this is safe,’ is potentially triggered by the lack of specification. Always make sure to clearly state the reason for your CW/TW.

A particularly stressful part of being neurodivergent I think is constant word repetition. 

For me with my tourettes I have a lot of mental tics. Most days they’re just like other tics but other days it’s so constant it hurts my head. Another thing is my autism/adhd. Once I hear a word my brain is off, and I’m stuck repeating that word in my mind. Sometimes I HAVE to say it out loud or I physically hurt. One time a couple weeks ago I heard someone use a slur(in a completely non-derogatory way, they were allowed to say it) and my head went immediately to repeating that word. Over, and over, and over, and over, and over again. I felt so bad, not being able to keep myself from saying something I knew was wrong. 

It’s distressing and difficult, but you are never less of a good person for something that you cannot control. 

Dear you,

your mobility aid does not ruin your outfit

Sincerely, another mobility aid user

Absolutely, and I do not want to diminish your experience. You are valid and I did not intend to take away from what you went through.

However, every person had a different experience growing up. While your parents(or whoever’s parents we’re talking about) may have done those things, my mom has recently been diagnosed neurodivergent as well and understands what I went through undiagnosed and even apologized for not trying to get it done sooner(my father not so much but he’s a different story). My younger brother is now diagnosed autistic and as my dad is out of the picture it is so easy for my mom to properly meet his needs. While my brother still struggles in school, it isn’t nearly as bad as it was for me because he has the help he needs to succeed. Seeing how happy and understood he is makes me very grateful that he got his diagnosis as a child. Without it he’d probably have ended up like me, stressed and burnt out, labeled as a gifted kid who couldn’t keep up as they got older. 

Again. I DO NOT want to take away from your experience. But it’s different for everyone growing up. Parents will parent their child differently. While I’m sure both sides have struggled, we struggle differently and our experiences are different. So yes, I do wish I was diagnosed as a child because it could have saved me a world of pain. While you may wish the opposite, both of us are valid. Both of us are just as worthy of the love and help we deserve. It’s simply a matter of different circumstances.

shout out to the burnt out gifted kids who are diagnosed autistic and could have saved so many problems if they were diagnosed sooner!

I hate the r/fakedisordercringe with a boiling passion. On top of it being such a toxic place, who the heck focuses their entire day on finding and tearing down people who might just maybe faking? The amount of people with Tourette’s I see in that subreddit(like Baylen Dupree) who are NOT faking it drives me insane. Or someone who was simply sharing a few of THEIR autistic traits suddenly getting fakeclaimed because ‘that’s not how autism works.’ It’s disgusting, harmful, and just sad honestly.  

Who do these people think they are, telling another person that their disability is fake because their narrow perspective of it doesn’t match up? 

YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BE ANGRY/BITTER/UPSET ABOUT YOUR DISABILITY! 

You are allowed to feel any emotion you feel about not being able to do the things you once loved. It sucks, and it hurts, and your life may seem ruined. And it’s ok to just be upset by that, because it really does mess with your head.

Feminism is for everyone.

Men deserve to be able to show emotions without getting judged. Women deserve to work for the same wages that men do. Parenting is hard for dads too, and they need to be recognized for that! (by this I mean dads who are there and actually pull their weight. I’m not giving credit to the guys who don’t parent) Pink tax is the dumbest thing on the planet, and needs to go away. Men get raped too and are silenced even more than women are, they have the right to a voice, do they not?

The patriarchy hurts men just as much as it hurts women, just in different ways. Everyone deserves to be treated equally no matter what they were born with between their legs.

shout out to the burnt out gifted kids who are diagnosed autistic and could have saved so many problems if they were diagnosed sooner!