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deigondraki · 5 months
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You know those men who will see a feminist post and reply with "Not All Men"? The ones will be offended by women being scared of them and call that fear discrimination?
I think they forget that society blames victims for "putting themselves in that situation." If I keep my pepper spray handy and avoid interacting with men I don't know, I'm sexist against men. And if I walk alone at night without it and interact with men who approach me, I am partly culpable for whatever happens to me. Make it make sense.
Those offended men insist that we not take precautions, but our pain is blamed on our carelessness when we don't.
I know which men are safe for me to be around, and it's the ones who acknowledge that a problem exists and take actual action to make vulnerable people feel safe. It's not the ones who go up to strange women, compliment them, and get offended that their actions are indistinguishable from a potentially threatening situation.
I will respect and trust you more if you can just acknowledge that.
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deigondraki · 8 months
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Every straight Christian man ever: "If your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out blame her clothing choices."
Like, y'all really out here sexualizing bra straps and the smallest slivers of skin, but she's the problem?
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deigondraki · 1 year
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This year, I will endeavor to love myself with more intensity than they ever hated me with.
I will believe in myself more than they ever doubted me.
I will create more happiness in my life than all the misery they ever gave me.
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deigondraki · 1 year
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I'm a huge proponent of cussing the appropriate amount for a given situation.
The fuckier my life, the fuckier my language-- I don't make the rules. If you'd rather I cuss less, you're more than welcome to donate to my swear jar so I can escape this capitalist rat trap.
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deigondraki · 2 years
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Interesting distinction someone brought to my attention today:
We're not raising kids...
We're raising adults.
How do our actions impact the kind of adults they're going to become?
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deigondraki · 2 years
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If you don't express your emotions in a healthy way, they'll be expressed in an unhealthy way. I learned this a few years ago, and I live by it now.
Express, don't repress. The truth will always out.
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deigondraki · 2 years
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Ummm... you mean, some afab individuals don't grow up hating being a girl or perceived as feminine? Huh. Hmm..
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deigondraki · 2 years
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I feel this on a spiritual level.
I want to say this bc it does not get said enough: most grief you experience in your life will have NOTHING to do with death.
This is not talked about enough and as a result ppl struggle to process grief bc the world is telling them that grief is something else.
Grief is about loss, and IF you’d like to define it as a loss of life it is not restricted to loss of life via death. Even then I’d implore you to not view grief as about death or life but again, just loss.
Grief is also about having a shitty childhood that nothing can fix even if you have healed from it as an adult; your childhood was shitty and there’s nothing retroactively you can do about it. You grieve the loss of thriving your past self was denied.
Grief is about friendships that ended abruptly, confusingly and again, there’s nothing you can do to change that. You just have to sit with it. This is the only way grief can ultimately be processed and all it wants by the way: to be accepted and sat with. That’s it.
Grief is about opportunities that have passed, experiences you can’t have because of the way situations have ended up, and having to accept that while you do have your whole future ahead of you, there were some things you wanted to be a certain way then and they weren’t, aren’t and will never be.
Grief is being estranged from your family and missing family closeness even though you do not want to be closer to your parents, because you’re grieving the fact that there is a healthy part of human life you will not experience through them.
Grief can be the job you lost, the plans that fell through, the events that spiraled out of your control
If grief is strictly about life and death, understand that it includes grieving the life you never had and the death of who you used to be, too.
But moreover, grief is about loss.
—–
If my writing helps you consider > donating here,<  as FOSTA/SESTA has taken most of my income and I need support as I finish school so I can establish my work.
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deigondraki · 2 years
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“Good things come to those who wait… Greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen.”
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deigondraki · 2 years
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Let's fucking gooooo.
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you got this, bb
Shop, Patreon, Books, Mailing List *•. ✧˖°` 
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deigondraki · 2 years
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I'm feeling that fear right now. In three days, I open the door to a new chapter of my life. I know I won't ever know what lies beyond that door until I open it, so I'm going to do it. People might question if I'll be ready for what's on the other side. Hell, I question it. I'm fucking terrified.
Here's the thing, though:
If I can't handle what's on the other side, I can shut the door again until I'm ready to try once more. A lot of decisions are reversible, and current inability doesn't mean failure. I've had to walk away lots of times from opportunities I was excited about because I wasn't ready. It hurt, and it was discouraging, but I got to see what I could do with what lay beyond those doors at those specific moments in my life.
And one of these days, I'm going to open that door and step into a life of my own making.
Bet on it.
“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”
— Jack Canfield
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deigondraki · 2 years
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“I hope that one day someone will make flowers grow in even the saddest parts of you.”
— vacants
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deigondraki · 2 years
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I wish I could tell which parts of this are normal quarter life confusion and which parts are trauma.
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deigondraki · 2 years
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I'm in that stage of life where all my friends are getting married and changing their last names and then I get confused when I see their names pop up on my social media feed because I don't know a fucking Janet McGranite?
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deigondraki · 2 years
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The Beast
Mom, I searched everywhere--
I searched for the shame that
You wanted from me so desperately,
And now it has found me.
It is eating me alive.
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deigondraki · 2 years
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Ah, yes. I, too, wish to bury my head in a comfort item and ignore the whelming tide of both my personal responsibility and the irresponsibility of my surrounding community.
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deigondraki · 2 years
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Ah, yes, my monthly Tangled viewing to see where in my CPTSD healing journey I am. I'm ready for my kingdom dance. Excuse me as I have an existential crisis first, trying to deconstruct all my mother's fucking lies about the world.
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