My bad đ
Fanfic authors be like "stay tuned for more" or "to be continued" and then don't update for twenty years, lmao.
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The Stolen People of Tasp
Tasp is a smaller country located Northeast of Rynn, known for their warrior mentality - and their kidnapping of children. If your community comes up against Tasp in battle and loses, you only have 3 potential fates: Marriage, Kidnapping, or Murder.
If you are a young, relatively attractive young woman OR a young fit man (particularly a soldier who may have fought well but was injured and couldnât fight OR someone they think has potential), you might be married off to a Tasp soldier. If they have any soldiers who are heading home for leave and are open to the idea (ie donât have a strong enough argument against it), a quick marriage will be performed and their new Tasp spouse will be in charge of them.
While these newly married âhostagesâ may at first rebel against this, over time they often settle into life in Tasp, suffering from what you know as Stockholm syndrome. If youâre lucky, your new spouse will be kind to you. If youâre not, your life can quickly become an absolute hell with no way out. If youâre lucky, your prayers may catch the ears of a deity who will step in and help. If youâre not? Perhaps youâll have better luck in your next life.
If you are under the age of majority, youâll likely be straight up kidnapped and shipped back to Tasp. The first thing that will happen is their name will be stripped from them, and theyâll be given a new proper Tasp name and clothing to help them forget their old identity. Your birthday will be stripped from you as well, your new birthday will be the date you were âsavedâ by Tasp soldiers. From there what happens next decides on their age.
If theyâre under the age of 5, theyâll immediately be placed into a proper Tasp home and given a new home. Kids between 5 and 13 are sent to boarding schools, where those who adjust well are adopted into Taspian homes. If you didnât adjust well you stayed in the boarding school until your 13th birthday, until you joined all of the other taken teenagers (those whoâd been 14 or older).
If you were taken by Tasp soldiers during the ages 14-18, you were immediately taken to a military camp to begin your training. Over your time at the camp you would essentially be brainwashed, until you left the camp at 18, ready to fight to the death for the country that had âsavedâ your life as a child.
For those who are not married off or kidnapped, your only fate is death. Tasp does not believe in leaving behind any survivors. Iâm not sure what fate Iâd prefer if Iâm being total honest. . .
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I know Iâve been MIA for quite a hot minute (well over a year apparently đ
) but itâs because Iâve taken a break from fanfic to work on my book. Iâve been focusing a lot on world building and lore and Iâve been enjoying a lot of it. As part of that, Iâm sharing some of the information on Tumblr from the POV of one Aloreâs (former) residents, Nysr. If youâre at all interested, Iâd love to have you follow along as I reveal more of the world bit by bit and if thereâs anything you want to know about the world just ask đ
Anyways, I do plan to continue the fics I abandoned as soon as the muse is willing to let me. Right now sheâs much too focused on Alore, but I hope one day she lets the bit from between her teeth so I can finish these fics â¤ď¸
Welcome
When speaking of a new world, what is the best place to start? In the beginning perhaps, with the tale of creation. But where is the fun in that? Thereâs something beautiful in learning about the end before you know anything else, like reading the final chapter of a new novel before youâve even read the dedication page. If you ask me though, the perfect way to tell a tale is discombobulated, jumping from one spot to the next and scattering info throughout for you to find. The chaos may be confusing but when you find the threads of this scavenger hunt and follow it back to the beginning? Thatâs the truest joy you can feel.
This encyclopedia will not go in chronological order, backwards, or any real order to be honest. Alore is a world full of mystery and creation, loss and devastation. On Alore, you may come face to face with mages and dragons, deities, and several species of sentient beings.
My goal here is to welcome you to Alore, to prepare you for the experience that lies far away. Iâm not sure why Iâm writing these tales, creating this online book of knowledge. Perhaps itâs to prepare you for your trip there, or perhaps itâs to remind myself of where I lived. My greatest fear is that here, among your plagues and mundane world, Iâll lose my connection to the lands I called home.
Maybe one day Iâll tell you the tale of how Havad and I came to be here with you, but for now that story doesnât matter.
-Nysr
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Home - Ch. 14a
Chapter Summary: Itâs time for a trip!
Word Count: 1370
Authorâs Note: Chapter 14 is being broken into 2 parts. So this is 14a! Sorry for being absent so long. I suck!
Disclaimer: I donât own the characters so donât sue me please. I just really like them haha
Previous Chapter        Series Masterlist
As the plane touched down outside of New York City, you could feel your nerves begin to get the best of you. As the plane had gotten farther and farther from home, you'd started to withdraw more and more into yourself. Not wanting to worry Bucky, you'd pretended to be asleep. He didn't have a chance to call you on it, though because the boys kept him busy the entire flight, asking him question after question about the rest of the team.
The boys were eager to meet the Avengers at the compound. You, on the other hand, were not. You hadn't been back since you ran away. You hadn't seen the team or even really talked to most of them for longer than a quick phone call. How would the team react to your return? How would you react to your return?
Tony had arranged for a car to be waiting in the parking lot for you guys to drive upstate. You'd refused his offer to fly in on a Quinjet or be picked up by one of the team. The less attention your family drew, the better. Besides, it would give you more time before you had to face everyone. More time to come to terms with what was coming, the awkwardness where there used to be peace. There was a time when walking into the compound would have filled you with the relief of coming home. Now, it felt like you headed into the unknown, and you couldn't be sure how it would end.
George continued chatting with Bucky during the drive. It was clear he held no ill will towards him for going on the mission. James was a different matter. While he was willing to join in with conversations to learn about the other Avengers, he wanted nothing to do with talking to Bucky about his life. Bucky had tried to ask him questions to get him talking again, but James had stubbornly refused. At first, you'd considered stepping in, but it hadn't taken long for you to realize that was probably one of the worst things you could do. James was already struggling with everything, he needed to know that you were on his side - always. So, you let it be.
As you pulled up to the gates surrounding the complex, it began to feel like hornets were raging under your skin. The nerves ran rampant through you, and you found yourself thanking the years of training that you were able to hide it from the boys. They needed you to be strong right now. Bucky recognized the barely concealed panic on your face as he pulled up, and his hand found its way to yours. As your fingers intertwined, he gave your hand a reassuring squeeze.
Sam and Steve were waiting out front when Bucky parked. You got out of the car slowly, forcing your unwilling muscles to move. The boys climbed out of the car, excitement shining on their faces, and you moved to stand between them, your hands resting on their shoulders and holding them close to you. James rolled his eyes playfully, smiling at you as he assumed this was just you being overprotective again. In reality, their presence was the only thing grounding you, keeping you from running from this place as you had done so many years ago.
You took a steadying breath and headed over to meet Sam and Steve, the boys still on either side of you. You and the boys gravitated towards one another, closing ranks as you moved to face the unknown. Little tells flashed across the boys' faces as they talked to one another in their heads, and you found yourself wishing desperately that you could know what they were saying. George's hand found his way to yours, and you smiled down at him. His hand in yours was the anchor you desperately needed, but it wasn't clear if he was holding on to you for his comfort or for yours. Bucky lingered slightly behind your family, and for the first time in a long while, he found himself the outsider.
By the time you reached the others, Bucky had caught up to you and had moved to stand next to James. James rolled his eyes and ducked behind you, slipping into place on the far side of George. Your eyes tracked James as he moved, but you said nothing. A quick glance at Bucky's face, and you could see the frown that settled over his features. If the boys couldn't figure this out, you'd have to find some way to step in, and you certainly weren't relishing that thought.
As you looked over the two avengers in front of you, you found yourself comparing how they looked now to how they looked then. There were new scars, and their ages were beginning to show. Sam's laugh lines had deepened over the years, and Steve's eyes had the first traces of wrinkles. A lot could change in 8 years.
Before anyone could speak, you found yourself snapped up in Sam's arms. George's hand slipped from your own as you froze in the embrace. Thoughts raced through your head, and you lingered, unable to hug him back. It wasn't until his arms began to pull back that you broke through the spell that had locked you tight, and you grabbed him tightly. When the hug finally ended, the smile on Sam's face settled your nerves. So far, it didn't seem like he was holding a grudge against you.
"It's good to see you, [Y/N]" Sam's voice was warm, welcoming and you were eternally grateful for that.
"It's good to see you too. I missed you guys," your smile was genuine this time. The butterflies in your stomach seemed to settle down a bit at least, their fluttering changing from an all-out techno dance party to a slower waltz.
"You must be the twins." Steve smiled down at the boys as he stepped back from the hug he'd given Bucky.
Before you could introduce them, James spoke up, his voice firm and sure, "I'm James, this is George." James' gaze flickered to you as if checking that this was alright before turning back to the men in front of him, "You must be Steve. And Sam."
"That's right, your dad's told us all about you," Sam spoke this time.
"I'm not sure how much Bucky knows about us, so I'm not sure what he's told you, but hopefully it's good." James' response was instant, and awkwardness settled in over the group quickly.
On the one hand, you couldn't be prouder of James' ability to throw shade. You'd never hesitated to say what needed to be said when you felt it was deserved, so you couldn't rightly blame him for it. On the other hand, you're his parent, and while you weren't stepping in on his relationship with Bucky, this was out of line. Before you could decide what to do, though, Steve interrupted the silence.
"Only the best. Do you guys want a tour?" Steve ignored the dig at Bucky, and when George immediately agreed and began to ask questions, he began to head inside, the boys hot on his heels.
"Well, he's your son alright." Sam snickered quietly once the boys were out of hearing distance.
You sighed and nudged his shoulder with your own, "Absolutely. I didn't realize I was such a bad influence on him, though."
"I don't know what else you expected, honestly. Of course he was gonna turn out like you." Sam returned the shoulder nudge, and the two of you began to follow the boys and Steve inside. You fell into conversation with him as easily as you always had, and you were eternally grateful for that.
What neither of you noticed was Bucky hanging back. He hadn't moved since Jame's comment. If you'd looked back or even glanced at him once, you'd have seen the look on his face. But you didn't. Instead, the boys had gone after Steve, and without a second thought, you'd fallen in with Sam. It wasn't until the door shut behind you and Sam that he finally moved, bringing up the rear.
~~~~~
Next Chapter ->
Taglist OPEN: Â @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic@queenoftheunderdark @redfoxwritesstuffâ @brokenthelovely @collinsstanharbourâ Â @samsgoddessâ @redhairedfeistynerdâ @winterisakiller
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Home Update
OKAY. So, letâs be real. Itâs been *way* too long since I last released a chapter of this dang story. I havenât written for fun since I lost my job in June. The only things Iâve written since then have basically been therapy. I had written a chapter of Home and was trying to update, but god I hated it. So, Iâm rewriting it. And Iâm about halfway done with it, and Iâm thinking of posting the next chapter (Chapter 14) in two parts - so 14a and 14b. first off, to give you guys something. Second, because I like what I have plot wise and if I donât make it official by posting it, Iâll just end up hating it again and trying to change/rewrite it. Soooooo.... What Iâm saying is, Home chapter 14a might be up in a few hoursÂ
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Is Home finished? đâ¤ď¸
Hi! Not quite yet! Weâve got two or three more chapters left! Iâm editing the next one but I just canât quite get it just right. Iâm not sure itâs got the feel I want! Iâm working on it, I swear!!
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â¤ď¸âĽď¸ I just want you to know how much this comment made me smile yesterday!! Iâm so glad you enjoyed this story, honestly! Itâs definitely one of my better pieces and one of my favorites Iâve written. Thank you so much for reading and reblogging it!
Operation: Christmas
Avengers - Natasha Romanov/Reader
Part 2 of my 12 Days Of Christmas Fics!
Story Summary: Every year your dad throws a Christmas party, and youâre expected to attend so that your dad can show you off. Each year is worse than the last, but when Nat offers to go with you as your date this year maybe things are looking up.
Word Count: 4612Â
Authorâs Note: I hope you guys enjoy! Happy Holidays!
Warning: Your stepmom is kinda a dick
Disclaimer: I donât own the characters so donât sue me please. I just really like them haha
Tag List (if you want to be added or removed let me know!):  @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic @queenoftheunderdark @redfoxwritesstuffâ @brokenthelovely  @collinsstanharbour @samsgoddessâ @noplacelikehome77
With a loud groan of frustration, you threw yourself back onto the bed next to Nat. She was sitting with her back against the wall, her legs stretched out in front of her as she watched you. When sheâd heard you were still struggling to find an âappropriateâ dress for your fatherâs holiday party this evening, sheâd offered to lend you one. For the last half hour youâd been raiding her closet as she gave you a thumbs up or down on each one.Â
Keep reading
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Bad Decisions Can Have The Best Results
Avengers - Bucky Barnes/Reader
Story Summary:Â Working on a farm in the summer heat with no water was not your best decision. Thankfully, someone's there to help.
Word Count: 1433
Authorâs Note:Â I may or may not have forgotten to bring water to a u-pick farm like this, thus the inspiration. Also, Home and Confessionâs next chapters are coming along - I just really wanted to write this today.
Disclaimer: I donât own the characters so donât sue me please. I just really like them haha
When youâd made the decision to quit your high paying job to take your dream job even though it paid less, you knew youâd have to be smarter with your money. It only made sense then that when you heard about a local farm offering up to 3 boxes of produce for $15 that you take the deal. Youâd eat what you could fresh and freeze or can the rest to make sure you had fresh(ish) food for a while. The only downside was you had to pick it yourself. What could go wrong with that?
Youâd barely slept the night before, having stayed up late binge watching your favorite show, and so you started the day exhausted. It only got better when you arrived at the farm with your 3 boxes and realized it was a rather warm day. You didnât really see any issue with it, until you started picking in one of the hot houses. A lot of the produce was already really picked through and you were struggling.
By the time you moved to the outside fields, you were already sweating and cursing yourself for having forgotten to bring a water bottle with you. You had been working at a desk job lately, so you werenât in the best shape of your life. As the box of produce grew heavier you decided to take it back to the car and grab one of the empty boxes, make it a little lighter to maneuver.
As you headed down the rows of vegetables, you noticed the heat stroke was really settling in. You could see your car, it wasnât even a quarter mile away but it felt like it was going to take hours to get there. When you finally reached the shade of the barn, halfway to your car, you took a seat on the ground next to your box.
âAre you okay? Do you need any help?â her voice was pleasant and you found yourself blushing, embarrassed at being caught like this.
âIâm fine, I left my water in my carâ you lied, not wanting to admit that you hadnât even thought to bring one with you at all.
âI can watch your box if you want to run and get it?â she offered, frowning at the exhaustion evident on your face.
âNo thank you, Iâm not farâ you pointed at your car.
She tried protesting, but eventually she gave up and headed out to the field herself when you promised her youâd be fine. After she left, you leaned back against the wood of the barn, eyes shutting as you let out a low groan. It was bad enough youâd forgot to bring water, but now people were noticing the weird girl just relaxing against the side of the barn. You werenât a big fan of the fact that you obviously looked like you needed help, but you couldnât bring yourself to get a move on just yet.
âCan I help you, maâam?â a manâs warm voice spoke, and you jumped slightly. You hadnât even heard anyone approaching.
âNo, Iâm fine. Iâm just gonna die here and then you can have my boxâ you chuckled, refusing to open your eyes. You didnât want to see whoever it was - with your luck it would be a hot guy and youâd be sitting here, drowning in sweat and dying of heat stroke.
His laugh was soft and you couldnât help the smile that slid onto your face as he spoke, âWell we canât have that. Youâre too pretty to die here among the tomatoes.â
At that you cracked one eye open, eyebrow raised. It took your eyes a moment to adjust to the bright sunlight and you immediately found yourself wishing you hadnât looked. Youâd been right when you assumed he was of course going to be handsome, but it wasnât until you spotted the metal arm that you realized who he was. Of course youâd meet Bucky Barnes when you were dying of heat stroke and looking like complete trash. Just your luck. Couldnât meet him on a day when you were looking good or even just feeling good, nope. Not you.
It wasnât until he laughed again, louder this time, that you realized youâd spoken those last thoughts aloud and you let out a groan of frustration, leaning your head back against the barn. Sometimes, you really made the worst decisions.
âCome on, Doll. Let me help you to your car.â Bucky picked up your box in one hand and held out the other one to pull you up.
âItâs fine, I am more than happy to just wait to die here, Mr. Barnes.â you groaned, but when he didnât budge you placed your hand in his and let him pull you to your feet.
The two of you walked in silence over to your car and he slid the box of produce into the backseat. You on the other hand immediately sat down in the passenger seat, exhaustion over taking you.
âHey, whereâs your water? You really should drink something.â Buckyâs voice finally broke the quiet.
You let out a nervous chuckle, âOkay, so, donât laugh, but I may have forgotten to bring water with me.â
âStay here. Do not go anywhere.â
âCouldnât even if I wanted to.â you smiled when he looked at you puzzled, âThat would require me moving and Iâm good here.â
Bucky rolled his eyes playfully and jogged away. You hadnât even noticed the other Avengers were here as well until he reached them. Your eyes traced the faces and you named them as your eyes wandered. Captain America, Tony Stark and his family, Black Widow, Falcon, and Hawkeye. He leaned over the small cart and grabbed something, talking to them. Suddenly, it seemed like all of their eyes were on you and you wanted nothing more than to just go back to dying against the barn. You waved half-heartedly before placing your hand over your face, hoping youâd just disappear. Embarrassing yourself in front of one Avenger was bad enough. All of them? Well, this would be the memory keeping you up 50 years from now - you were sure of it. When Bucky finally returned, he was holding two water bottles. He unscrewed the top and handed it to you.
âYes, sirâ you saluted him playfully before taking the water from him. You chugged that thing like a frat guy at a toga party.
Bucky raised an eyebrow before handing you the second one, and when you began to sip that one he finally spoke. âI donât think you should be driving anywhere for a while. Where do you live, doll?â
For a moment, you hesitated, unsure if you should answer. Yes he was a guy youâd never met before, but he was also an Avenger. If you couldnât trust an Avenger with your address, who could you? When you finally gave him your address, he smiled. It wasnât far from the compound at all.
âCan I drive you home?â his voice was soft now, reassuring.
âYou donât have to worry about me, soldier. Go have fun with the other Avengers - just stay out of the hot houses. Those things are death traps.â
âI wonât be having any fun at all if Iâm worried that the prettiest girl in New York is driving home in this condition. Iâd hate for you to get hurt.â
âFlattery will get you everywhere, Barnes.â you snickered before continuing, âNo but seriously, Iâll be alright. You donât have to worry about me. Besides, you donât even know my nameâ
â[Y/N] [Y/L/N].â
You blinked slowly, âWell thatâs not creepy at all there.â
He pointed at the security badge hanging from your rearview mirror, âBesides, youâd be doing me a favor. Clintâs really driving me up a wall and this is the perfect excuse for me to escape. Help me?â
The puppy dog look in his eyes was enough to do you in, and you sighed, handing him the keys. He waved once at the team, and as he shut your car door you could see Tony and Clint shooting him double thumbs up. He climbed into the driver seat next to you, and the smile on his face was enough to make you glad youâd met him today.
~~~~~
Youâd been right when you said this would be the moment keeping you up 50 years later. Only, it wasnât out of embarrassment. It was gratitude. The simple bad decision of forgetting water led to you meeting hte love of your life, and your future husband.
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Darkest Before The Dawn - Ch. 4
Summary: Nat confronts you about your cover story
Word Count: 802
Authorâs Note: I basically wrote this for myself, but I hope it helps you too. If you  find yourself struggling, reach out a hand. Thereâs always someone willing to help pull you back. This is the end of the story, so thank you for reading it if you did.Â
Warnings: Talk of depression, suicide
Chapter 1
(ХОНнŃĐľ means small sun/sunshine)
By noon, you were back in your room and showered, the scent of chlorine having finally been scrubbed from your hair. Youâd slipped into your favorite pair of pajamas following the shower and now you sat in front of the mirror, slowly combing through your hair. As you combed your fingers through your damp hair, you soon found yourself lost in thought. A knock on the door drew you from the trance youâd slipped into.
âCome in!â you called, watching the door in the mirror.
The door opened and Nat stepped in, shutting the door behind her. She took a seat on your bed and studied you silently for a moment. Your eyebrows drew together, puzzled, and when she patted the bed next to her you got up and sat next to her.
âWhatâs going on, Nat? Is everything okay?â Â you asked curiously.
âI should be asking you that. I know you didnât forget to file a report - we do them together, remember?â she waited for your answer, her eyes searching yours.
For a moment, you considered keeping the lie going, but when you met her gaze you decided against it.
âI asked Steve to pull me from missions.â you offered, wondering if sheâd push it farther.
âHow come?â
âIâve been really down lately. Everythingâs just been so hard and the other day I woke up and realized I donât really care if Iâm alive tomorrow? Like Iâm not going to race out and yâknow, but Iâm also not sure I would care if I was dying?â
âOh, ХОНнŃĐľâ her voice was soft as she placed her hand on your thigh, âIâm sorry.â
âWhy are you sorry?â you tilted your head slightly.
âI should have noticed you werenât feeling well. I didnât mean to make you fight alone.â
âCome on Nat, thatâs not your fault.â You bumped your shoulder against hers.
The flash of a soft smile lit up her face for a moment, âWell Iâm here now. Youâre not in this alone. No matter what your head says, this isnât a battle youâre fighting by yourself.â
You swallowed heavily and looked down at the quilt you kept on your bed, thoughts racing through your head. Natâs hand found itâs way to your chin, and she gently turned your head to look at her again.
âWhatâs going on in there?â
âItâs nothing - donât worry about me, itâs fine.â you tried to smile, but it was more of a sad grimace.
âIâm a spy. You canât really think Iâd believe that lie. Tell me whatâs going on, please.â her voice was soft, but strong, and you knew she wouldnât let this drop.
âI feel guilty. You guys donât need to worry about me, Iâll be okay. I didnât mean to worry anyone, and you donât have to help me. I donât want you to feel guilty for not realizing it or feeling like youâre not helping. I donât want to be a burden. My mind, my problemsâ you sighed.
Her hand moved to cup your cheek as you spoke, and her eyes hardened, her voice remaining soft as she spoke, âYou could never be a burden. Ever. Youâre one of us, and I will always be here for you because I love you - and the same goes for the rest of the team. Youâre a part of this family, and if you werenât here weâd be missing a big piece of us. Youâre always here for the rest of us, no matter what. Youâre always quick to comfort one of us when we need it, or help out when Clint catches the flu. But Iâm not just here because of the things you do for us. Youâre amazing, and I love you. Iâm here with you because I want to be here with you, not because youâre a burden. And youâre not getting rid of me - Iâm going to stay right here with you until youâre feeling better, no matter how long that takes.â
By the end of her speech, tears were flowing down your face. You werenât sure who instigated the hug but you found yourself wrapped in Natâs arms. Her grip was firm and you found yourself thanking the universe for giving you her. As you stayed in her arms, you couldnât help but feel like maybe there was a chance to win this battle.
With Steve, Clint, Bucky, Nat, and the rest of the team by your side was there anything you couldnât take on? Sometimes all you needed was a reminder that you werenât fighting alone, and if the last few days had proved anything it was that you had people who loved you and would stand by you until the bitter end. With them, there was no way youâd lose this battle - no matter how long it takes.
~~~~~
If you need someone to speak to, but donât feel comfortable reaching out to friends and family try the suicide hotline.
USA - 800-273-8255
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Darkest Before The Dawn - Ch. 3
Summary: Bucky owes you an apology
Word Count: 959
Authorâs Note: I basically wrote this for myself, but I hope it helps you too. If you  find yourself struggling, reach out a hand. Thereâs always someone willing to help pull you back. Iâm going to finish the next chapter, Natâs, and call it there.
Warnings: Talk of depression, suicide
Chapter 1
The team got back the next day from their mission. Steve had been right when heâd told you they could handle it, and you were grateful for that. Everyone was glad to be home - until Tony reminded them that they were hosting a charity gala that night. Usually you enjoyed getting a chance to dress up and hang out with the team, but you just werenât feeling it with everything going on. Steve caught your eye when Tony made the announcement, his gaze questioning. When he saw the look on your face, he spoke up.
â[Y/N], youâre grounded so youâll sit this out. Clint on the other hand? Youâre coming because I know youâll consider this a punishment.â Steveâs voice was firm and you rolled eyes to give a good show.
When Nat tried to argue on your behalf, you stopped her and told her it was alright. As the team dispersed to go take a nap before the party, you stopped to thank Steve. You walked him with him back to his room, and he asked how you were doing with everything. You assured him that the therapist had helped but it would be a bit before you were ready to join them on missions again.
That evening, everyone filed out to the gala. When they left, you slipped down to the pool. Youâd always loved to swim, but you hadnât taken the time to swim just for fun in a long time. Lately the only time youâd been swimming was on a mission or doing laps instead of going for a jog.
Friday was playing your playlist of favorite songs, the lights dimmed slightly as you floated on your back. The water temperature was perfect, the pool was always slightly chilly so the water was warm and you found your eyes drifting shut as you floated. It was peaceful at first, but the longer you floated alone, the more you felt the emptiness begin to creep back in. Not even your favorite music could keep the depression at bay tonight, and you began to contemplate going back to your room and just crawling into bed when the door swung open.
Everyone was supposed to be at the party, so when you heard the door, your eyes flew open and you turned to look at the door, trying to be as quiet as you could in the water. You let out a sigh of relief as you locked eyes with Bucky.
âHow come you arenât at the gala?â you asked Bucky, swimming over to the side of the pool closest to him.
He was dressed in his tuxedo still, âYou know me, doll. Thatâs not my scene.â You nodded in understanding, as he kicked off his shoes and rolled up his pant legs. He dropped his feet into the water next to you, and kicked the water once, splashing you.
You splashed him back with a tiny water wave, and he chuckled softly. When he didnât speak again, you went back to floating in the pool. The minutes ticked by, song after song playing while you both revelled in the silence. It was different with him there, even if you werenât talking, just knowing Bucky was there brought respite from the loneliness that had been taking over earlier.
âI owe you an apology.â Buckyâs voice seemed to echo through the room and you turned to look at him.
âWhat for?â you asked curiously.
âI didnât mean to eavesdrop, you need to know that. I was on my way to talk to Steve and I overheard you guys - super soldier hearing sucks sometimes. I didnât want to make you uncomfortable so I left.â you could hear the guilt in his voice and you swam back to his side. You pulled out of the water and sat on the edge of the pool with him, legs almost touching.
You placed your hand on his leg until he looked at you, âItâs okay, Bucky. I know you wouldnât eavesdrop on purpose.â
He smiled at you softly, relieved you trusted him, âAre you doing okay?â
You thought for a moment before shrugging, âIâm not doing bad? But Iâm not good so I mean I guess?â
Bucky nodded, âBefore Steve found me, I wasnât in a good place. I remember wanting to die - and I almost tried once. I was going to, but someone interrupted.â
No longer caring about getting him wet, you scooted over so you guys were touching, thighs pressed together. His hand found its way to your hip and pulled you tight against him, and you began to lightly scratch his back with your nails as he spoke. Bucky told you all about the problems heâd faced since leaving Hydra. Heâd struggled with depression on and off since, fueled by the guilt of what heâd been forced to do.
You found peace in Buckyâs confessions, in his admitting he wasnât okay. Sure, you may not feel like you had reasons as good as his to feel depressed but he was always so strong that him being vulnerable around you like this left you feeling less alone. If he could learn to talk to people he trusted when he needed help, maybe you could learn to as well. Asking for help wasnât a weakness, and that was something you sometimes still struggled with.
As the night passed and the two of you traded stories you found yourselves lying back on the pool deck, your feet still dangling in the water. At some point, the two of you dozed off during your conversation. Steve found you in the morning, your head resting on Buckyâs chest, his arms wrapped around you. Smiling, Steve left the room and shut the door behind him.
Chapter Four (Final Chapter) ->
~~~~~
If you need someone to speak to, but donât feel comfortable reaching out to friends and family try the suicide hotline.
USA - 800-273-8255
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Darkest Before The Dawn - Ch. 2
Summary: Clintâs always here for you when the dark begins to surround you
Word Count: 999
Authorâs Note: I basically wrote this for myself, but I hope it helps you too. If you  find yourself struggling, reach out a hand. Thereâs always someone willing to help pull you back. This was just supposed to be a one-off of Steve reacting to you, but this is the first thing in a while Iâve written and Iâve gotten into a groove so I may do a few of the Avengers helping you or I may just end the story with this one? Not sure yet but Iâm not going to push myself - not today.
Warnings: Talk of depression, suicide
Chapter 1
After meeting with your therapist, you made your way to the kitchen. It was late afternoon and your stomach was growling by this point. The kitchen was deserted, while you were in your appointment, the rest of the team had been called away on a mission. Steve had left you a message saying donât worry they had it under control, but guilt still ate at you for leaving the team down a member. You didnât feel like cooking, so you settled on making a simple sandwich. As you gathered everything and placed it on the counter behind you, Clint sauntered in.
He jumped up to sit on the counter, his legs swinging and a mischievous grin on his face, âI hear Cap grounded you too.â
You hesitated for just a moment before you nodded, unsure of what Steve had told everyone. The idea that he might have told everyone the truth left you nervous. it was going to be hard enough dealing with Steve being weird around you, you didnât need everyone treating you differently.
Clint laughed, seemingly unaware of your nerves, âI canât believe you forgot to file your report. In all the years youâve been here, this is the first time. Iâm so proud of you for coming to the dark sideâ
Relief flooded through you at his revelation of Steveâs cover story. âYeah well, we all make mistakes. I wonât forget again.â You shrugged, as you finished putting together your sandwich, âSo why are you grounded?â
âMe? Oh, well, just the usual. I was too handsome of course.â
You merely cocked your eyebrow, and waited for him to tell you the truth. It only took a moment for Clint to cave in the silence and he let out a long-suffering groan.
âI may have accidentally bet Thor I could hit a tree with an explosive arrow during the last mission. We thought weâd cleared the area but apparently we didnât because the tree went kaboom and then Hydra came pouring out of a hatch in the ground like ants from an anthill. Thor was shot in the arm - heâs okay though!â
âDumbassâ you chuckled, putting away the ingredients. As you grabbed your sandwich and began to head back to your room, Clint followed along like a stray puppy. He chattered about his latest prank plans for Tony as you went back to your room, and it wasnât until you reached your door and turned to look at him that he stopped talking.
âHow long are you planning on following me?â you sighed, exhaustion beginning to creep in.
âWell I was thinking that since itâs just you and me we could have a movie night?â Clintâs voice was pleading.
The idea of being alone right now wasnât something you enjoyed, but a movie night meant youâd be even more sleep deprived tomorrow. With a heavy sigh, you stepped aside so he could come in too, âFine but weâre watching movies in here.â
âDeal!â Clint raced in and jumped onto your bed, grabbing the remote in the process.
As you settled yourself against the headboard, he sprawled out, his head towards the foot of the bed as he began to flip through the channels. Clintâs voice filled the silence, your occasional hums of agreement were enough to keep him going as you ate. By the time youâd finished your sandwich, Clint had settled on The Lion King, and you moved to lay next to him.
Clint sang along to every song during the movie, and you found yourself revelling in his presence. His attitude was infectious, and you were grateful you hadnât turned him away when he asked for a movie night. The positivity was something you needed, and his presence felt like the anchor keeping your thoughts from floating off into troubled waters.
As movie night progressed though, your thoughts began to wander in a different direction, and began to feel guilty for lying to Clint. It wasnât a big lie, saying that youâd been grounded for not doing your paperwork, but youâd never lied to him before and you werenât sure this was something you wanted to start. When the movie drew to a close you sighed and bumped his shoulder with your own. He turned to look at you questioningly, but you spoke before he could ask.
âI wasnât grounded because of paperwork.â your voice was soft, almost too quiet to hear over the opening of the next movie.
âI figuredâ he bumped his shoulder against yours in return, âBut I figured youâd tell me if you wanted to.â
You flashed him a grateful smile, and leaned over to rest your head on his shoulder, âI asked Steve to pull meâ you took a moment to gather your thoughts before you continued, âIâm not suicidal, but iâm not not suicidal.â
He didnât speak for a moment, but his arm found itâs way over you and pulled you into his side. âI know what it means to be haunted by those thoughts. Iâve been there before.â
You moved closer into his side as he told you about his battle with depression when he was younger and how even now he still had bad days. âI guess what Iâm trying to say is that right now sucks but youâll get through this - youâre a hell of a fighter, and youâre stronger than your darkest thoughts. And if you ever feel like you canât win, just come get me and Iâll help you kick your own ass.â
A soft laugh escaped from you as he finished his speech and you curled yourself into his side. He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, and you turned on the next movie, Brave. For the rest of the night you traded soft jokes and playful insults with one another. When you finally fell asleep two movies later, you slept comfortably in Clintâs arms, grateful that you had friends to rely on when the dark got too hard to see in.
CHAPTER THREE ->
~~~~~
If you need someone to speak to, but donât feel comfortable reaching out to friends and family try the suicide hotline.
USA - 800-273-8255
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Thanks! Yeah I definitely get that. Iâm not in the best place for adopting one right now either but I have one friend who I owe the world to - sheâs allowing me to keep Reckless at her property until I can get things in order. I hope your mom gets her horse someday!!
Meet Reckless. For a whopping $25, I adopted this 4 year old mustang yesterday. I canât wait to get her home!
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Darkest Before The Dawn
Summary: When you find yourself struggling with depression, you realize itâs time to reach out for help.
Word Count: 689
Authorâs Note: I basically wrote this for myself, but I hope it helps you too. If you  find yourself struggling, reach out a hand. Thereâs always someone willing to help pull you backÂ
Warnings: Talk of depression, suicide
Steve was sitting at his desk, paperwork piled high in front of him. It was late, almost midnight, but you knew heâd still be here. Heâd been away with Bucky and Sam for a few weeks and now he was buried under a mountain of reports to review and fill out. He didnât look up right away when you knocked on the doorframe, but as he finished signing off that report he glanced up at you with a tired smile.
âHey Steve? Can we talk for a minute?â you stood at his doorway nervously, arms slightly crossed as you traced your elbow lightly with your thumb. You met his gaze for a quick second before looking down at your arms.
âOf course, take a seatâ his voice was gentle, like talking to a wild animal. You werenât usually this reserved, so it wasnât hard for him to catch on that something was wrong.
You didnât move from where you stood, âIt should only take a minute.â Silence descended as he waited for you to speak again.
âI donât think I should be going on any missions for a bit.â
His brow furrowed and he laid his pen down on the desk, âWhy not?â
A deep breath slid through your lips, âIâm not doing too well. I donât want to actively die. But if I did die I wouldnât really be upset? And itâs not fair to do that to you guys. So I think I should just stay home for a while.â
The tower was quiet at this time of night, it was too late for those with normal sleeping habits to be up, but too early for the nightmares to awaken most of the team yet. The stillness seemed to drag on forever after your confession, until Steve slowly got to his feet and moved to stand in front of you.
Steve opened his arms slowly, and waited for you to make the first move. You didnât move as tears began to pool in your eyes but as the dam broke you stepped forward into his embrace. As his arms wound around you, you clutched at him like he was the last life preserver left on a sinking ship. Neither of you spoke for a long while, the muted sounds of you crying the only sound.
Once youâd cried yourself out, you stepped back out of his grasp and smiled at him sadly, âIâm sorry.â
âDonât ever be sorry for not being okay, Doll. You donât have to be okay all the time. Itâs perfectly okay to not be okay. Do you want to talk about it?â
You nodded and he guided you to take a seat on the couch in his office, and he handed you the blanket he kept draped over the back. As you settled in, he heated up water in the electric kettle he kept in his office for late nights. You zoned out, collecting your thoughts, and you werenât sure how much time had passed before he handed you a mug of hot chocolate with mini marshmallows. Steve took a seat next to you on the couch and you sat facing him, your back to the armrest and the blanket covering your lap as you sat criss-cross.
The two of you talked all night, and he offered you small words of comfort as you talked, careful not to interrupt as you told him everything. By the time the first traces of sunlight crept through the window, youâd shifted to lean against his side, his arm draped over your shoulder as his thumb gently traced circles against your skin. You dozed off as the sun came up in the distance, but Steve didnât move or say a word.
Steve stayed with you until your therapist came in later that morning, and as you headed off to meet with them, he hugged you tight. You shot him a quick smile as you headed into their office. Things werenât magically going to get better, but as you stepped through the door you couldnât help but remember that old saying, Things Are Always Darkest Before The Dawn.
CHAPTER TWO ->
~~~~~
If you need someone to speak to, but donât feel comfortable reaching out to friends and family try the suicide hotline.
USA -Â 800-273-8255
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Reckless is a BLM mustang. Thereâs so many mustangs out there that need adopting that if you are an approved adopter you can find plenty of horses for $25. Since sheâs âjustâ a sorrel, she went for cheaper than some of the others. Weâll get to do the wonderful process of helping her learn to trust humans â¤ď¸âĽď¸
Meet Reckless. For a whopping $25, I adopted this 4 year old mustang yesterday. I canât wait to get her home!
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This is the good news I got yesterday. I won her at 4pm âĽď¸â¤ď¸
Meet Reckless. For a whopping $25, I adopted this 4 year old mustang yesterday. I canât wait to get her home!
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Hello đ You haven't updated in a while, just dropped by to say that I love your writing and that "Home" is fantastic đđđ
Thank you so much anon! Sorry Iâve been silent so long. Since I lost my job, I got hired on at a new place. And then got furloughed 3 weeks later. And then my brother disowned my mother and I (childhood trauma affects all of us differently unfortunately). So, I havenât been writing much and add in the fact that apparently all of our relatives have come to visit my life has been a clustefuck. Iâm hoping to start writing again in around 2 weeks - right after the next relative leaves. I really appreciate everyoneâs kindness and understanding while 2020 does its thing đŹ Iâm hoping I have some good news on the horizon - but I wonât know until September 9 đ¤đ¤
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Home - Ch. 13
Chapter 13 - Return
Chapter Summary: Bucky comes back like he promised, but what does that mean for your family?
Word Count: 3920
Authorâs Note: Okay look I tried the new style, I really did but by now Iâve prety much given up on it so Iâm apologizin in advance if the styles jump back and forth!
Disclaimer: I donât own the characters so donât sue me please. I just really like them haha
Previous Chapter        Series Masterlist
One month after he left, Bucky found his way home to you. He didnât text or call first, but when you came back from your shift at the Diner he was sitting on your porch. The boys were on a scout camping trip that Ty was chaperoning, and you were holding down the fort at home. When you pulled up, you froze for a moment, unsure if you were really seeing him.
As you got out of the truck, you studied Bucky. He was covered in bruises, bandages and stitches were sticking out from under his button-up shirt. His eye was black, swollen shut. When he got to his feet, you could see he was moving stiffly like everything hurt.Â
You stopped in front of him, and tears began to flow as you looked him over. âCan I..?â you held out your arms like you were going to hug him but stopped, not wanting to hurt him.
He stumbled forward into you, his arms holding you against him tight as he could, not caring about the pain. You buried your face in his shoulder, and he leaned down to press a kiss to your head. When he let out a few broken sobs you didnât move, only pulled him closer, one hand coming up to lightly brush through his hair and soothe him. Neither of you let go until his breathing steadied, and when you did step back, your hand grasped his, not wanting to lose contact with him. You led him inside and steered him towards the couch.
Rex and Zeus bounded towards the front door but at the sight of Bucky, they seemed to realize now was not the time - or at least Rex did and he herded the young rottweiler to keep him out of the way and down the hall.
He looked down at the light tan couch then at his blood-stained clothing and shook his head, and you gently pressed on his shoulder, âSit Bucky. I can buy a new couch. I canât buy a new you.â
The cut on his forehead had started bleeding again, and when he finally sat you stepped into the kitchen to grab the first aid kit. Your phone chimed as you were grabbing it, and when you saw it was from Nat you stopped to read it.
Is Bucky there?!
You frowned and responded quickly, Heâs here. Iâve got him, what happened?
Natâs response was instant, Thank God. Keep an eye on him, okay? He wasnât technically discharged yet. It was bad, Iâll let him tell you when heâs ready. Let us know if you need anything.
I will. Is there anything in specific to watch out for or know?
You brought the first aid kit to the living room and sat on the coffee table in front of him, the first aid kit sitting next to you. Your hand reached up to touch his face, and he leaned into your palm. You kept your hand there, cupping his cheek as you cleaned the cut with your other hand. You applied butterfly strips to the cut to help keep it closed.Â
Slowly you pulled your hands from him, moving to the first button on his shirt. You waited for him to nod his okay before you began to unbutton his shirt. You bit back a gasp as you looked at his bruised and beaten body. If you thought what youâd seen originally was bad, you hadnât seen anything. Every inch of him was a different color, and a long thin cut ran from his collarbone down to the left of his belly button. It was fresh, light scabbing holding it together. With Buckyâs advanced healing things never got this bad so seeing him like this was a shock, to say the least.Â
âIâm sorryâ his voice was so soft you could barely hear him and it broke your heart.Â
You scooted forward on the table, your legs entangling with his as your hands moved to cup his face. He leaned into your touch, bowing his head as he leaned forward. You pressed a gentle kiss to his head before you spoke.
âItâs okay Bucky, youâre home. Itâs alright, loveâ you whispered. It seemed wrong to talk at a normal volume like youâd break the spell.
âIâm sorryâ he repeated, looking up at you with his one good eye.Â
âYou made it home Bucky, thatâs enough. I swear.âÂ
âAre you mad at me?â he glanced down, unable to meet your eye.
âHey, look at me.â you waited for him to look up, âI was never mad at you, Bucky. Not really. I was scared. I was scared I was going to be left alone again forever, and that the boys were going to lose you right when they started to get to know you.â
His gaze fell to your lips, and you slowly leaned in, pressing your lips to his, you moved slowly and only lightly touched him, afraid to hurt him. As soon as your lips touched his, he leaned forward, deepening the kiss. His hand came up and tangled in your hair. When he moved towards you, he let out a low hiss of pain and you broke the kiss, panting.Â
âWeâll continue this when Iâm not worried about you bleeding out on the couch, okay?â you smiled at him softly.
He chuckled softly, âIâm holding you to thatâÂ
You rolled your eyes playfully and glanced over at the clock, âDo you think you can keep real food down, or do you want soup?âÂ
âReal food sounds good, but I donât know if Iâm up to chew steak or something like thatâ Bucky yawned.Â
You got to your feet and headed into the kitchen, âReal food coming right up.â You turned, hearing shuffling behind you and saw Bucky following you. You raised an eyebrow in question, watching curiously.
âI just⌠I need to see youâ he admitted softly, embarrassed.
You nodded and pulled out one of the stools at the kitchen island, motioning for him to sit. While you got to work cooking a simple macaroni and cheese, Bucky never let you out of his sight. Rex finally stopped herding Zeus, and the rambunctious pup came racing over to smell Bucky. Rex followed and took a seat next to him.Â
âIs this Zeus?â Bucky asked, looking down at the young rottweiler.Â
âYeah, heâs still learning mannersâ you chuckled softly.
Bucky glanced over at the clock then down at himself, âWhen will the boys be home? I - I donât want them to see me like thisâÂ
âTheyâre on a scout trip with Ty, they wonât be back until tomorrow afternoon.â
Bucky didnât answer, and you cooked in silence. Zeus finally settled down for a moment before bounding out the doggy door Ty had helped you put in last weekend. When you sat the plate of homemade bacon mac and cheese with a salad in front of Bucky, he smiled at you, âThanks.â
âHey Buck?â you paused, getting your thoughts straight, âThank you for coming home. If you hadnât⌠Just, thank you.âÂ
While youâd grown used to Bucky not being there, a part of you had feared heâd never come home again, and that killed you. It was different before, as far as youâd been aware he was dead and you could move on - or try to. This time, it was just a bunch of unknowns and that had killed you. If things had gone on much longer, youâd have called Fury and demanded an update.Â
âI shouldnât have leftâ he admitted, âThere was no way I wasnât coming home this time.â
âYouâre an Avenger, Buck. Duty called, and you had to go. I get itâ you rested your hand on his forearm, âI remember what itâs like, babe, even if it scares me.â
Dinner passed quickly, and after washing the dishes you led him upstairs. Bucky was covered in blood and dirt, so you slowly helped him undress and into the shower. He pulled you in with him, and you went willingly.
Your fingers lightly massaged the shampoo into his hair, and when he stepped back to let the water wash over him, you watched the dried blood and dirt leave him. The warm water didnât just wash away the dirt and blood, but it seemed to wash away all the worries and the burden he carried.Â
That night, Bucky fell asleep in your arms. A few times during the night he jerked awake, yelling and fighting. Each time, you waited for him to blink awake and as soon as he recognized where he was, you pulled him back to you. He hadnât had nightmares like this for years. Back when youâd first got together, heâd still had nightmares from Hydra at least once a night, but over time heâd stopped having them. Whatever heâd seen, whatever heâd faced had brought them back.Â
The next morning you woke up before Bucky. He was asleep on his back, and you propped yourself up on one elbow to look at him. He looked better than he did last night, some of the bruising and cuts had faded already. When he began to stir, the beginning of a nightmare setting in, you began to hum softly, carding your fingers through his hair until he stilled. When he awoke a few minutes later, he blinked up at you and smiled softly.
âI love youâ his voice was heavy with sleep.Â
âI love you too, Buckâ
He reached out with his metal arm and pulled you against his chest. Luckily, you were asleep on his better side so you curled into him, your head resting on his chest, legs tanging with his. You lay like that in silence for a while, in no rush to leave the safety and comfort of the bed.Â
âOne of them⌠he had powers, like Wanda but not as strong. He could see into your mind and make you see your nightmareâ Bucky spoke softly, âHydra had me, and I watched. I couldnât do anything,â his voice broke, âThey killed you and the boys and I couldnât stop them.â
âWeâre alrightâ you pressed a soft kiss to his chest, âIâm here and the boys are with Ty and the other scouts up in the mountains. Weâre all safe, I promise. And so are you.â
âI knowâ he swallowed thickly and looked up at the ceiling, âI donât know what Iâd do if I lost you though, doll.â
âHeyâ you reached up, gently grabbing his chin and making him look at you, âYou arenât going to lose me. Iâm not going anywhere. We need to figure out what weâre going to do moving forward, but whatever we do, weâre doing it together, alright? Weâre all gonna be on the same page.â
âAre you sure you still want me?â Buckyâs question so silent you almost missed it.Â
You moved your left hand so it was in front of his face, showing off the ring. Youâd taken to even wearing it at night since he had left, and right now you were grateful for that. âBucky, youâre not going to drive me away. Ever. Itâs you and me against the world, remember?âÂ
The nightmare heâd faced while on the mission had brought back his old fears and insecurities. It had taken him two years to accept that you were there to stay last time, and you were prepared to reassure him however many times it took. When he only nodded, you knew youâd have to keep telling him, but you didnât mind.Â
âI think we should plan a trip to the complex. All of us. As a family.â you sighed, youâd been dreading it but knew it had to come. If you and Bucky were going to decide what was best for the family, it had to be an informed one.Â
âAre you sure you want to go back there?â
âNope. But thatâs why I need to. I canât keep hiding from the past forever, right?â you hesitated for a moment, âYouâll stay with me, right?âÂ
âWild horses couldnât drag me awayâ he reassured you, âI promise Iâll stay with you as long as youâll let me.â
âIn New York or..?â you asked, smiling up at him.
âAs long as youâll have me.â he returned your smile, rolling to pin you under him.Â
If it wasnât for the animals, youâd have stayed in bed until noon. When you finally pulled yourself away from him and out of bed, the animals were excited for breakfast. By the time you finished feeding everyone, Bucky was in the kitchen making pancakes and bacon for you both. While he seemed to be in a better, stabler, mood right now you knew from experience the uncertainty would come back in waves. Youâd just have to be ready to reassure him that you really werenât going anywhere and he was enough.Â
Over breakfast, you planned your trip to the complex. The kids had a three day weekend coming up, so you decided youâd pull them from school for the Thursday and Friday before to get you 5 days in New York, long enough to get a real feel for it but not too long.Â
You sent Ty a quick text, letting him know Bucky was there but not to tell the kids yet, Bucky wanted to surprise them. While you waited for them to get back, you and Bucky cuddled on the couch, watching Food Network while you talked.Â
âGeorge won his first barrel race two weeks ago. Falcon started limping so one of the older competitors let him borrow her horse for the race, George was so excited. The vet says itâs about time for the old man to retire. George is taking it hard. Heâs excited about the idea of a new horse, but Falconâs his main man. I think heâs taking it better once I pointed out that Falcon wouldnât be going anywhere, weâll just have to clear out the other stall in the barn. He still feels bad though, says heâll be betraying Falcon. The vetâs going to come back out this week to talk to him about retirement. Honestly, I think Falcon would love the idea of getting to just lounge around in the pasture and relax all the time.â you sighed, catching him up on the latest.Â
âJames got his cast off on Thursday and heâs already asking when he can start skateboarding again. I told him thatâs up to the doctor. We had a heart to heart about wanting to try the vertical drop in ramp, and I told him he can try it again once the doctor gives his arm the all-clear IF he can get someone who really knows what theyâre doing on it to show him. Iâm scared heâs going to seriously injure himself, but if we donât make sure he does it right with a teacher, he will get hurt for sure. Heâs been working on training Zeus though since he canât ride. At this rate, it wonât be long before that pup knows just as much as Rex.â
Bucky listened as you talked, offering small words of advice or encouragement as needed, but he mostly was happy to just sit back and listen as you told him about the family. Your voice was calming, smooth as you talked and he found himself thinking he could fall asleep to it.Â
When the door flew open an hour later, Bucky didnât jump this time. He slowly got to his feet and turned to watch as James and George ran in, laughing and arguing. They froze when they saw Bucky and looked over at you. Only once you smiled encouragingly at them did they look back at him.
âHow long until you leave again?â Jamesâ voice was guarded as he spoke. Heâd tried to play it off like Buckyâs leaving hadnât hurt him, but you knew the truth. You could see it in his eyes whenever Bucky had almost been mentioned while he was gone.Â
âI donât know, bud. Unfortunately, thatâs a part of being an Avengerâ Bucky admitted, âI donât like it, but Iâll be here whenever I can. I donât like leaving you guys either. I love you guys.â
You werenât sure if Bucky realized it, but it hit you that this was his first telling the boys he loved them, and you waited anxiously to see how they responded. James and George shared a quick look before James nodded and headed upstairs without another word. George ran over and gave Bucky a quick hug before following his brother. The door shut behind James gently, not at a slam and for that, you were eternally grateful.
Once the boys were upstairs, you and Bucky headed outside where Ty was unloading the truck. You could tell from the look on his face that something was bothering him, but when you went to ask him what was wrong he shook his head quickly, glancing up at the house before he looked back at you. Bucky looked at him curiously, but you nodded once.
âTy, can you take a look at that stall? I know you just got back and youâre tired but I think if we can fix the door we can get it usable pretty soonâ you offered, glancing towards the barn.Â
âYeah, no worries.âÂ
You chatted about random things as you headed down to the barn to keep up appearances. Once you slipped inside and stood in front of the broken barn, Ty turned so his back was to the house.Â
âI think the boys are mutants or have powers or something and I know how crazy this sounds-â he took a shuddering breath, running his hand through his hair.Â
âProbably not as crazy as you think.â you sighed, part of you had always wondered if the boys would be affected by their fatherâs serum or DNA, and if so what form it would take. âJust start at the beginning, what happened?â
The words poured from Ty in a rush, âSo we were camping and they did their whole thing where they look at each other and have a full conversation without speaking and then have a full answer ready to go. And later I reminded them not to do that in public because it might weird people out. And George said it wasnât fair, so I asked what wasnât fair. He asked why other people were allowed to do it but they werenât. Turns out, the boys both think that when we do the whole âyesâ ânoâ silent debate thing with our faces weâre having full-on conversations. In our heads. Like they are. So basically I think the boys can read minds or at least each other's minds and they just assumed everyone could to some degree.â
Bucky looked to you, eyes wide at the sudden revelation. Your mind raced through all of those silent conversations the boys had had in the past, your mind tracking them back. All of those weird moments, all the unspoken communication and always know what someone was looking for suddenly made sense. You pursed your lips and let out a heavy sigh, âCanât say it really shocks me I guess.âÂ
âIâm sorry what?â Bucky finally spoke, looking at you and Ty like youâd both grown second heads, âI have a lot of questions.âÂ
âFair enough, Buck. But right now weâve got one thing to decide. Do we confront them and ask them? Remember, we learned sometimes powers can lie mostly dormant but once the person realizes they have them things can get real weird real fast? Do we talk to them about it now or wait until we can talk to Wanda and see what she says?â
It only took a moment for Bucky to decide, âWeâre going to the complex next weekend, right? Iâll make sure Wandaâs there and we can go from there I guess? Sheâs our best expert in this department.â
 Bucky glanced over at the very stressed looking Ty, âHey. Whatâs your deal?âÂ
âThe whole mutant thing -â Ty started before Bucky cut him off.
âWhat? If the boys are mutants thatâs it for you?â he growled,Â
Ty waited calmly for Bucky to finish, âNo. Theyâre still my nephews, Fartface.â you bit back a laugh, glad that apparently that nickname of them all had stuck. Ty continued, âIâm more worried about how everyone else is going to treat them. You think you were worried about people finding out theyâre the kids of 2 Avengers? You donât hear the talk about mutants that goes around. People arenât kind to them, and I donât like what will happen if people find out about the boyâs powers. If they have powers? Are they mutants? Whatâs the science here?âÂ
Bucky sighed and apologized to Ty before he turned to you with an eyebrow raised âWhen do I get to know what this whole Fartface thing is about?âÂ
You merely shrugged, âWhen you stop acting like a Fartface.â Your thoughts raced and you continued, speaking to both men this time, âSo the boys are likely individuals with powers. If they have powers weâre gonna have to get them a teacher and make sure they donât tell people about it. Weâre not getting them on any registers or records as mutants anywhere, thatâs for sure. If it's ever revealed or an issue, itâs a side effect of the bastardized serum running through Bucky. And to be fair, thatâs probably not a lie. Agreed?â
âAgreed. Iâll go call Wandaâ Bucky nodded, pulling out his phone as he left the barn and headed to the lakeshore.Â
âAre you okay with him being back?â Ty asked, keeping his voice low as he watched Bucky.Â
You nodded, âYeah, yeah. We talked, and I think weâll be okay. We just have to figure out what happens next. I think I want to stay here but maybe moving back to the complex is a good idea - or at least near it - particularly if the boys are gifted.â
âYâknow, Iâll miss you if you leave.â he sighed, pulling you into a side hug.
âYou could always come with us.â
âYeah, that wonât really sell the rumors that you and I are more than friendsâ he chuckled, ruffling your hair with his fist.Â
âWho cares about rumors so long as we all know the truth?â
âYeah yeah. Go get your manâ Ty pushed you gently towards Bucky before he took a quick look at the stall door, âAnd so you know this will take like 2 minutes to fix. But Iâm not doing it now. Iâve been camping in the woods with a pack of boys for a weekend. I need a showerâ he chuckled.Â
You stuck your tongue out at Ty and he laughed, waving goodbye as he headed back to his truck. Looking up at the house, you saw James and George looking out the window at you and you waved at them, smiling. George waved back eagerly and James made a funny face. You made one back and ended up in a funny face competition while you waited for Bucky to finish his phone call.Â
The idea that your sons were gifted didnât scare you, at least, it didnât scare you that they had powers. Youâd spent years around gifted individuals before you left the Avengers. What scared you was how the world would treat them if they found out the truth.
~~~~~
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