I have made so many mistakes in my life. But part of the healing process is learning to forgive myself for making the wrong decisions and know that I am so much more stronger and capable of trusting my ability to choose differently moving forward.

My heart is tired. It has been beating fiercely for you and I for months only to become worn down and tired. But the true challenge of it all was letting you go and learning to beat for myself, one person, again.

A veces me pregunto si después de todo que fuimos, aún tú de verdad me querías. Es posible que en tu corazón yo nunca estuve?

Quisiera oír tu voz, besar tus labios, mirar tus ojos, y sentir tus abrazos por el resto de mi vida

“It’s not just other people we need to forgive. We also need to forgive ourselves. For all the things we didn’t do. All the things we should have done.”

— Mitch Albom

Estoy intentando, estoy dando mi mayor esfuerzo pero a veces creo que es demasiado para mi.

— flores in caelum

{Quote by Chris Mc geown}

Mere Embers Hold Me Now

Is it possible that at this moment in time I am being drastically tested? Has my mind run into a wall so hard that there is no way through? How is it possible that I find myself here at this wall again? It’s like I've been running through a maze, looking for a way out, and just when I think I've turned the corner and reached an opening, I am faced with yet another dead end. I think each time I turn the corner and see the dead ends, there are pieces of my heart that are chipped away by disappointment. How it hurts to have hope after being discouraged and disappointed for so long. Hope hurts more than the dead ends ever did. I have made a home in this dark maze. I call it mine and it has made me its own. We’ve become toxic lovers trapped with each other. My violent tears and hands pounding the walls within, and it’s laughter with its moving walls and cruel illusions of escape. Does it thrive off my own heart ache and fear? I hope it does, because the more I remain here, the more I lose myself. I have been changed, forever damaged by this maze. I will never be the same. Yet I know I must find a way out. Will I have to be saved? Or can I defeat this maze on my own? The courage to keep going is all I have left. The strength to take one more step in a different direction and to try again is all that is keeping me from going completely insane within this darkness, this fog that works against me. I have only a little bit of myself left, and I fear that the longer I am here, the increased possibility that I will emerge as something that is completely different; distorted, altered, and warped beyond recognition. The only hope I have left, the only seed of light within me is burning slowly, meer embers. I am in this darkness with all but embers to keep me grounded and warm. But the night is overwhelming, and the embers are fading. I am holding the embers closely, worried a light breeze from this deafening place will take even that away from me. So here I am, trapped, but I continue on. Because I have no choice but to keep going. There has to be a way out, there has to be a reason I have lived here for so long, it has to be for a purpose. So tonight I will rest my head against the wall. I will close my eyes and hold the embers in my lap as I fade off to sleep. Tomorrow I will try again. And I will do this over and over again, even if this place takes everything away from me.

Pienso que me enamoré muy pronto, y tu te enamoraste muy tarde.

I just had to tell you that I wish you were here to see this with me.

Era una persona diferente antes y después de que me dijeras que tengo "ojos de miel."

Yo no sabia que enamorarme iba causar un miedo en mi corazon que nunca he sentido. Un miedo que si me sigues conociendo, vas a encontrar todas mis fracasos y debilidades.

I had the feeling you were going to mean so much to me, so I hid you silently in my heart away from other prying eyes. Because before I reveal just how much you mean to me, I want to bask in the peacefulness of our secret, slow-building love.