What people don’t get, is that I DO want to see the future.

I think the future would be amazing and wonderful.

But I can’t deal with the now.

The present that keeps hurting me.

The present that seems to always hold a knife to my wrists in case the scars fade enough to wear short sleeves.

Yes, I want to know the future, but I fear that the present wont keep me alive for long enough to meet her.

My love for her is too much to put into words.

Because I could say that I love her more than life, but I don’t really care for life that much.

So I could say that I love her more than the sun, but I don’t really like the sun that much either.

So I’ll say that I love her more than the moon, more than the stars, shooting or still, more than than rain or snow, more than autumn or winter, more than hot chocolate, more than darkness or the dim light of a scented candle, more than a cloudy sky or a windy morning, more than lightning or thunder, more than the smell of books, old or new, more than tea, which she loves so unconditionally, more than sweaters or hoodies, more than fingerless gloves, more than the colour green in all of its shades, more than faded purple or blue, more than Brookline 99 or she-ra or the owl house, more than Stranger Things which I only watched because she was too scared to watch it alone, more than herbs or crystals, more than crocheting, more than drawing and writing and singing, more than knee high socks or boots that would make me as tall as her if she didn’t wear the same ones, or the perfume she said smells amazing, or the dress she called me beautiful in, more than heavy blankets in the winter, or fairy lights or pointless rainbow decorations that she gives me to piss of my family. More than the fact that we both know that even though we call each other best friends, we are something more.

I could say all that, but it wouldn’t come even close to describing how much I love her. And sometimes I get sad, because she will never know just how much I love her. Because she, nor anyone else, can ever even imagine loving someone so all consumingly. And no matter how many times I try to make her understand, she will not accept the fact that she is the most absurdly amazing person to ever exist.

And I love her more than anything can describe.

So the first time I showed my friend “Stranger things”

The first and only thing she asked/said for the entire first episode was: “Are they gonna fall in love?”

The characters in question?

Is it just me?

I like to read fanfictions or comics that are usually angsty.

And when I read those I get a pain in my stomach, but it’s like a good pain?

Well not a good pain, but I like it so I read more angsty comics.

So, anybody else?

A self-indulgent lovesquare comic. Timeline is post-season 4, and the story will completely disregard anything that season 5 might throw our way.

Start here!

Latest part here!

A poem I wrote for my moms miscarriage:

I didn’t get to know you,

I didn’t get the chance.

We didn’t even get to choose,

Your name in advance,

Our mom and dad are sorry

Our brothers little broken

Some days have come and gone

When nobody has spoken

I hope that you found peace

In a place that’s full of angels

And I’m sorry that we weren’t

Nothing more than strangers

Conversation between us and our DM:

Backstory: One of the players had found/created a god whose name was Ugugod and our DM said that if we could find 300 people who believed in Ugugod then he (the god) could give our cleric powers.

JJ: Can’t we just hold a knife to peoples throats and make them believe?

DM: No, real belief comes from your hart.

Snow: Well can we hold a knife to their harts then?

Dm: *facepalms*

Because the moon reflects the light of the sun, just a little, then does that mean that when vampires go out on a clear sky night, they get a sunburn?