an-idiot-has-appeared
idiot (dot)
sometimes I think, somtimes I remember to share those thoughts struggling batfam fan | almost all my posts are queued | she/they/it
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listen i understand why dick was so pissed. he and bruce had like a 5-7 year age difference in the new 52. if a 17 year old started telling me what to do iâd be furious.
jason was in an even weirder situation. he had a dad and brother who saw each other as brothers
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desperate for a tv show filmed like modern family or the kardashians of the batfam, titled âwatch out for the waynesâ or something like that.
bruce signed for the limited series to keep up appearances.
dick acts like a love island contestant.
damian is only ever in the corner of shots, staring into the soul of the cameraman.
cass, similarly, does not contribute much, but looks to the camera like sheâs in modern family whenever shit happens.
tim finds every way to be the last laugh, the one-liner guy, the âunexpected, effortless, fan favouriteâ˘ď¸â.
duke frequents the interview room.
jason sends subtextual messages to the audience through the books heâs seen reading in a scene:
bruce and tim are having a tiff about whoâs idea is better while jasonâs reading âthe metamorphoses - book iii 339-358â (narcissus).
everyoneâs having a grand old time at a gala while jasonâs at a table reading âvile bodiesâ.
damianâs in a mood and nobodyâs picked up on it yet while jason is seen reading âamerican psychoâ.
nobody can find steph and tim and jasonâs sat literally reading the back of a âdazed and confusedâ dvd to get his point across.
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Iâm choosing to believe this scene of Luigiâs heart getting read by the gigantic homophobic star is about Bowuigi since it makes it a MILLION times funnier
LIKE COME ON THIS IS GOLD
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âMama Mia! Nowsa not the time for enemies to lovers Luigi!â
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okay i caved and checked itÂ
oh shit its been so long that i forgot about the follow up to twitter posting anxiety- the ânot looking at twitter now because i fear knowing what happenedâ
its schrodingers twitter post, if i dont look at it, then it mightve been seen by nobody, or it mightve been seen by like 3 people total.Â
either way.Â
i am afraid.Â
#one whole person liked the tweet lets get it#i can sleep in peace and not give a shit about anything else that comes after
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oh shit its been so long that i forgot about the follow up to twitter posting anxiety- the ânot looking at twitter now because i fear knowing what happenedâ
its schrodingers twitter post, if i dont look at it, then it mightve been seen by nobody, or it mightve been seen by like 3 people total.Â
either way.Â
i am afraid.Â
#i know its irrational but man im getting chills about checking twitter#like the person i was drawing fanart for liked it the last time around so i feel like thats giving me expectations#that are really only setting me up for disappointment#like i know its very unlikely that itll happen again but even without#people seeing my shit is scary#but also no one seeing it is scary#everythings scary and i simply wish to fly away like a tiny puff of a bird#twitter
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Decisions made at 3am during finals week should not be followed through.
The only explanation I will accept for Bernardâs white hair on TD:R #3
Tim likes it, he was just a little surprised.
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I really like the idea that Bruce keeps acquiring sidekicks that Jason already knows personally.
Tim? Yeah, Jason knows Tim. Nerdy neighbour kid who came over to play videogames.Â
Oh Steph? You mean school-bus Steph? Steph from Jasonâs school bus?
Wow Bruce you adopted Cass? Yeah, Jason knows her. Yeah, Talia dropped him off with her as part of his training tour. Yeah, they spent the weekend watching movies on Jasonâs phone and got no work done.
Damian. As in, the kid Jason babysat whenever Talia was off doing league shit? That Damian?
Duke? From the same school bus?Â
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the whiplash i get from being able to post anything on tumblr without hesitation to the rush of anxiety i get from trying to tweet is real fun Â
#i mean maybe its because I was posting fanart but i feel like even here i think id give less of a shit#ldk like theyre both voids but this ones comfy#the bird app scares me much#twitter#oh also having to remind myself that i cant add extra thoughts in like brackets or smth cause thats not a thing#best tumblr feature frfr#i love it so much i just get to ramble here and know that out of the 3 whole people who see this only 1 of them will bother to read these
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[Does civilian Bruce even know Duke is a meta? Or is he just like "My son is so chipper that he lights up every room he walks in!" And all the kids are like đđđ] via anon
anon thats the cutest thing ive ever heard- i feel like bruce probably didn't know but the second after he found out he makes this joke immediately and frequently
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civilian bruce got yeeted off one of the balconies of his own company and the really nice metropolis guy caught him before his kids could get there <3
bruce and clark are friends but he doesnt know clark is superman yet- the kids fucking know clark is trying his hardest to earn their dad's affection and nOT ON THEIR WATCH- THAT COUNTRY BOY'S GOTTA WORK FOR IT
#superbat#civilian bruce au#I LOVE SO MUCH#bruce wayne#clark kent#batfam#look at all of em with their lil kyptonite weapons#bout to go threaten a poor alien
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Part 1:
Batman lowkey adopting all of his children's hero teams? yes, absolutely stunning. Bruce Wayne lowkey adopting all the neglected rich kids at galas? YES PLEASE, my crops are growing, my skin is clear, the sun is shining.
Like, Tim can't be the only rich kid at galas whose parents are more focused with themselves than their children. And Bruce has a bleeding heart that could never stand a child looking sad and dejected. After he adopts Dick, he immediately starts to change his image from party animal playboy Brucie Wayne to ditzy but kind, and most importantly, full of dad energy Bruce Wayne.
It starts small, giving the children introduced to him by their parents actual eye contact and sincere smile, with a "Nice to meet you" that feels genuine. But then he also starts offering them candy, somehow always something they like (he doesn't realize how it kinda makes him look weird to offer random children candy). After a hesitant look at their parents, who tell them that they should take the candy and thank Mr. Wayne with soft smiles and honeyed tongues, while their eyes are full of warning, the implicit or else left unsaid. No one wanted to make Bruce Wayne upset after all, that was simply social suicide.
He slowly escalates, he asks them how they were doing, if anything interesting had happened to them recently, what hobbies they liked. At first, the children responded as carefully and as short as possible, just enough to be polite. But Bruce asks about them every gala, and more importantly, remembers previous conversations he'd had with each of them. That'd never happened before, their parents usually wave them off the first chance they get to indulge in something else. And so they begin to open up more.
And Bruce takes care of these children as if they were his own at these events. Guests are dumbfounded when he's seen carrying an overwhelmed judge's daughter in his arms in an attempt to comfort and ground her. He's seen soothing the son of the current mayor after he accidentally spilled food on his suit. Multiple eyewitnesses report Bruce being found underneath the tablecloths of buffet tables, playing card games or simply sitting with various children of the elite. He gives high fives when kids tell him of an achievement they've made, from being able to tie their shoes to coming in first in a competition.
Every child is informed by the other children or by Bruce himself that he will give a hug to any child who asks, no questions asked. They love his hugs, his arms were always so warm and comforting and encompassing in all the best ways, completely opposite to the other event goers, where their fake smiles sent chills up their spines, and venomous words sank their teeth into them at every accidental faux pas.
The kids love Bruce hugs, but what they love even more is when Bruce notices if any of them look uncomfortable, and steps in to give them an out. None of their parents would refuse Bruce if he asked if he could borrow their child for a bit, then asks them if they'd like to step out for a bit of fresh air. He spends plenty of nights wandering halls or outside on a balcony with a child holding his hand, sometimes more than one.
Dick Grayson becomes the unofficial older brother to the younger children, and becomes close friends with the older ones. They teach him how to act at events, how to dance and how to respond to any of the adults who drag him into conversation to see him slip. In return, he teaches them how to cartwheel and forward roll, teaching the braver ones handstands and backflips. The kids come back to their parents unkempt, sometimes covered in dirt or dust, and on one special occasion, drenched in water after someone accidentally falling into a fountain led to an all out water fight. Their parents can't say anything about it since Bruce always comes with them to apologize about his ward dragging them into his antics "children, you know?".
As this continues, Bruce also begins to have an open door policy for his children (as they are as much his as they are their own blood related parents). If they ever needed or wanted to, they could come to Wayne manor any time, the only condition being that they informed their parents of their trip. It would become a safe space for many of them, a place to have small gatherings without the oppressiveness of their parents and high society. Bruce would come home some nights with Dick tutoring some of them in math, or a group enjoying a movie session in his home theater. He of course, made sure that any and all entries to the Batcave in the manor were completely inaccessible when he wasn't home.
Dick begins arguing more and more with Bruce, and eventually leaves to live in Bludhaven. But he came back to every social event he's invited to to check up on everyone and make sure they know he's still there. This helps heal his and Bruce's tense and volatile relationship much quicker, since the more frequent contact with each other and their mutual want to not upset the children (which does include the children who grew up with Dick; Bruce still views them as children, and always will) force them to actually communicate with each other. It does also help that after years of being the unofficial father of like half the children of the elite, Bruce has gotten a lot better at communicating his emotions and thoughts, and at listening to others.
Jason comes tumbling into the picture with scratched knees and a chip on his shoulder. Dick bonds with him almost immediately despite Jason's obvious distrust and hesitation, declaring he'd always wanted an official little brother. He calls in favors with old friends to watch over Jason at events when he can't. Jason's prickly nature hiding his quick wit and heart of gold burrow themselves deep amongst the young adult members of the elite, many of whom come to view him like one would a younger sibling.
The younger ones love Jason because of his stories. One could often find a small group of children sitting in a corner or hidden alcove with Jason in the middle, reciting a familiar story with his own words or coming up with something on the fly, his abundant imagination and creativity filling in the blanks as he regales them.
Unlike Dick, Jason hates the glitz and glam of galas, much preferring to stay at the manor in front of the fireplace with a nice book in his lap. It's pretty obvious to the others, and becomes almost a game who can get a reason for Jason to leave the quickest. The most used way to get this done is accidentally spilling a drink that gets all over his clothes so he needs to go back home to change, which he never returns from.
When Jason dies, Bruce, Alfred, and Dick aren't the only ones who mourn, an entire generation of high society does as well. But they also know who's currently suffering the most, everyone heard how Bruce saw the explosion that killed his son. So just like how Bruce made them feel seen and comforted, they tried to do the same for him and Dick.
The younger ones offered hugs and stuck nearby to let them know they were there for them. The older ones made sure no nosy reporter or offending socialite could get to them to ask about Jason, fending them off with razor sharp smiles and words. Both Bruce and Dick were incredibly grateful and made sure everyone knew it.
And then there was Tim. Tim who had been welcomed into Bruce's gaggle of children at social events since he started attending them, Tim who had been amongst the children that liked listening to Jason telling stories. He sees Bruce becoming more and more violent towards criminals as Batman, fueled by his guilt and self hatred. So Tim visits Jason's grave one day, and apologizes for what he plans on doing. Then he walks up to the manor and enters Bruce's study and practically coerces the poor man into making him Robin with his 60 slide powerpoint.
When Bruce officially takes Tim in after his parents' deaths, the others give him the same treatment they gave Dick and Bruce when Jason died. He grew up amongst them, he was one of theirs, and they protected their own. Bruce and Dick also make sure at least one of them is by Tim's side at all times, a hand resting on his shoulder or grabbing his hand let him know that they're there.
Part 2 up soon:
#ah yes my favourite brand of bruce wayne#adopts all children in sight#bruce wayne#batman#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake
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Thereâs a pretty high chance that Bruce secretly, under pain of death, pays for and conceals all of the people and innocent bystanders Clark accidentally injures or kills.
Because those super powers result in injuries and deaths, undoubtedly. Buildings topple and people are caught in blast waves. Clarkâs laser eyes arenât always accurate enough.
But he doesnât know. Clark doesnât know that Bruce quietly pays for rehab and funerals and long term care. Clark doesnât know that the woman he saved last week suffered a fractured vertebrae because of how fast he pulled her out of that burning car. He doesnât know that Bruce quietly paid for a million-dollar hospital stay because of her subsequent paralysis.
Bruce doesnât tell Clark about them. He pays off bills and long term trust funds for patient care. He hides what he can from Clark because if Clark knew, he wouldnât be able to go on being Superman.
And maybe, one day, when Bruce dies, he learns exactly what his best friend was doing, all these years. But at that point, thereâs no Superman anyway. Not without Batman.
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saw many comments about no one ever believing dc superhero girls brucie could be batman :â) and clark is kind of a dick, so. made me think
dw, heâs still clark and im a superbat girlie; heâll make it right afterwards :ââââ)
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my favorite thing about Kelley Jones' Batman is that bruce will be in the middle of a conversation and he'll just start striking the most creacher poses for no discernible reason
what are you doing there buddy
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