My avocado seed

Avocado

Good morning guys

It’s 18 days I’m in quarantine, but I am actually getting better at staying at home.

Today I woke up while it was raining outside, and it’s nice to listen to the rain drops falling. It’s the first time it rains since I moved downstairs, and it’s comfortable watching the courtyard getting wet. Also I can look at the sky everyday, and that’s cool, mostly because I can actually see the Sun when practicing Surya Namaskara in the morning.

After lunch I am going to use an avocado seed to grow a tree. I watched some YouTube videos and it’s easy and fun. 

Later I’ll show you pictures!

Hope you have a good day

Peace

What I saw in the mirror

Good morning guys

This morning I looked at myself in the mirror and I started crying. I feel my arms are getting chubby and my hips and thights wider, and I can’t stop blamig the Nutella I ate some days ago. I won’t eat anything out of my diet anymore, at least until Easter. I hate my body so much.

I don’t feel like writing anything else today.

See you tomorrow

Peace

These are my homemade gluten free brownies, orange plumcake and margherita pizza! (plumcake is a bit burned ahah)

Sunday

 Good morning guys,

today it’s Sunday, my favourite day of the week. Even though time isn’t an issue anymore and a Monday can be a Saturday and viceversa because we are confined into our homes, I like to celebrate Sunday anyway. To me, it’s a day for rebirth and soul nourishing, a day when you can start new things and enjoy what you love the most.

I had breakfast with yougrt, nuts and some blueberries; I was very grateful to eat them because they are more expensive than average fruit like oranges or apples, and I ate my meal with consciousness and gratefulness. I had coffee with my parents in the living room, talking about travelling and summer. I love have this kind of moments with them on Sunday mornings, because it’s our moment to share our passions and ideas without my sisters; I love them very much, but as both younger than me, they are always making noise and requiring attention. I guess what I love the most about Sunday is the silence. 

I started moving my stuff from upstairs to my new room downstairs, and when it will be all done I am thinking about showing you some pictures. I honestly really like it; I loved my old room and I was scared this new one wouldn’t be as beautiful as the older. It has white walls and simple furniture, and its own bathroom. It’s very small, but it has an access to the common courtyard of my building, where I’ll put all my succulents and bonsais. They’ll certainly love to stay there because there’s a lot of sunlight and fresh air.

Later I’ll practice some yoga, stretch, work out, and I’ll cook lunch for my family. I love cooking, and I am actually pretty good at it. I must do some homework due Tomorrow, but it won’t imply more than one hour and half.

This evening I’d love to watch a movie with my boyfriend while we are at the phone, so I need to choose a good one. He knows way much more than me about cinema, and when I get to choose I am always scared he won’t like it ahah.

Yesterday I cooked the whole afternoon, and later I am going to show you pictures of my dishes. I am very proud of them ahah. They are all gluten free because my sister is intolerant.

Hope you have a beautiful Sunday

Peace 

A few changes

Good morning guys

My family is planning to move to our second house in Tuscany, because our granny who lives there needs help with groceries and stuff. I am actually pretty happy about it; our home is very close to the sea (you can go to the beach by walking in literally two minutes), and it is very isolated. I’ll have the chance to go swimming, running, doing yoga on the beach at dawn and set... I can’t wait!

Today I have 1h English Class, and that is going to be all. After lunch I’ll work out and move some of my stuff in my sister’s bedroom downstairs, because my mum wants her to be close to them here upstairs. 

I really miss my boyfriend, and it’s actually so painful I am not going to see him for at least one month. I am not very good at long-distance relationship, and I am scared this quarantine will change or damage us. Even though we can’t stay together, we can’t see other people ahah, so cheating can’t be one of the reasons we’d eventually break up for. I can’t wait to see him again.

Have a good day; peace

Good morning guys!

I actually didn’t anything I said I’d have done yesterday, BUT I ate Nutella and milk and cereals!!! I did it! I am proud of myself, but I also feel a little ashamed...

I found a rope, and this afternoon I want to do some jumps (maybe 20’? It’s very hard but I ma going to do 10 reps of 2’ of jumping and 1’ of resting, just to begin with), and I want to complete my daily work out too. I’m not gonna lie, I’ll do it because I feel ashamed for my breakfast, but I want to restart working out too, for myself. Yesterday the government said the quarantine will end on April 18th, so I’ll keep staying at home for a little while...

After I had breakfast I walked my dog, and while I was outside I did puke a little bit. I didn’t do it consciously, my stomach just couldn’t handle all the food I ate; I usually eat healthy stuff (today was four months I didn’t eat bread or nutella or cereals) and in small proportions; I want to clarify I did not binge, I ate normal amounts of food, my family was there with me.

I feel pretty tired right now; at 11.00 am I have italian class, so I’d better go getting my computer and books. See you later guys

Hope you have a nice day

Peace

Hello guys, and good evening 

It’s 9.00 pm and I just had dinner. This afternoon I talked to my therapist about my struggles, and I told her I opened this blog. It’s actually a sort of diary I keep for myself, and it really helps me. 

Tomorrow I’d like to wake up early and go for a walk downtown. Then when I’ll get back home I am going to do some stretching and bake some cookies for my family. I found a nice recipe I can’t wait to try, if it’s good tomorrow i’I’ll leave the link, in case you’d like to try it!

Later I’ll attend Italian virtual class (damn) and make lunch I guess. While writing this post I am listening to a nice album of an italian guy; his name is Tutti Fenomeni and the album is Merce Funebre. He isn’t very famous but in Rome it’s pretty known, mostly in the underground socalled hip-pop scene. 

Today was a nice day. Hope yours was too. 

Peace

Good morning guys

I honestly was too scared to eat Nutella, so I had my usual breakfast (strawberries, yogurt and muta). Even though I didn’t even try to eat it, I think it’s good enough I decided to give it a chance. I will tell my therapist about this today, and after all I am kinda proud of myself.

Today I am going to be very busy and I hope I’ll be able to accomplish every task.

Have a good day, see you later :)

Peace

A new challenge

Good evening guys

Today I went for groceries and it took me one hour and half before I could get back home (grocery store is very close to my house, 3′ walking). I bought yogurt & a bunch of other everyday stuff like tomato sauce, and I bought Nutella too.

Nutella is something extremely scary to me; I can’t eat it without freaking out; BUT I decided I’ll eat it tomorrow with my breakfast. I can do it. Even though I am already regretting my decision right now, I think I need to be brave in order to overcome my state of mind. I have in program to walk my dog a lot tomorrow in order to burn calories too, but it won’t be excessive or extreme punishing.

I can do it!

Anyway, I didn’t do any of my Ancient Greek homework ahah so I guess I have to do them now. I spent my whole afternoon watching YouTube videos about Reddit and what a day in Tokyo looks like. I also drank tons of Diet coke, but I promised to myself I won’t do it again for a week at least. Today I was extremely stressed and anxious, and I ate without my parents and I cut off all carbohydrates from today’s meals, but tomorrow is a new day and I hope I’ll do better.

Hope you guys had a nice day; peace.

No Yogurt in the Fridge

Good morning guys :)

This morning I opened the fridge to make some breakfast and there was no yogurt. Such a disappoinment. So I grabbed a piece of parmesan, some nuts and an orange and I sat on my couch. 

At 9.00 am I had biology (virtual) class, and it was quite funny because I completely forgot about it, so I partecipated to the call with messy air and a hoodie upon my pjs’ t-shirt and I recognized myself as one of those “ such a mood” memes. The teacher talked about the respiratory system but I didn’t really listen to her because I was writing an essay due to 10.00 am I also did forget about. I swear I am usually successful at school but this quarantine is killing me ahaha. At 11.00 am I’ll be attending Latin class and I am so not in the mood. My latin teacher is an extremely capable and beautiful woman, but she reminds me to the rich wife in Parasite; she looks like she could have an OCD, and is always extremely anxious. 

In the afternoon I am going to do some pilates at home with my mum to stretch a little bit and do some homework (I have tons of Ancient Greek stuff to do). I’ d like to restart my beautiful and armonious routine, that includes doing yoga, journaling, being grateful and stuff, but I am so out of control lately. I don’t even miss my boyfriend or friends. What the hell is wrong with me? Later I’ll write down what I am going to do tomorrow, in order to help myself to do things right and in a more conscious way.

That’s it for now. Have a good day you all. Peace.

Guys this is my favourite youtuber he always makes me laugh

Daily struggles

My friends and boyfriend don’t actually seem to have problems with quarantine; yeah they can’t hang out, but they enjoy staying at home. They watch movies, cook their favourite food, eat chocolate. 

Well, for me it ain’t like that. Being alone all day, without anything that can really distract me, is making me obsessively thinking about food, about my body, about anything that my eating disorder puts in my mind. I can’ t go to the gym, because they are closed; I can’t go walking for long distances; the struggle of not being able to have a full and hard work out makes me anxious, and sad. I am worried about what I eat, and I am scared i’ll be 2kg+ (4.4 lbs) heavier when the quarantine will end.

Furthermore, I can’t distract myself. My mind is unable to do anything but thinking and doing stuff in order to track my weight, what I eat, what I do to burn calories. I don’t walk my dog for the pleasure of breathing fresh air, but for losing weight. I don’t work out because I wanna stay healthy, but because my mind forces me to, and I am in pain if i don’t. 

I am actually on a diet made by my nutritionist, and even though it’s a good thing because I am forced to eat and to eat healthy because I am checked, I can’t stop reducing my food intake using my sick parameters. For example: I should eat three fruits + 60g of rice everyday; in my anorexic opinion, that’s way too much carbohydrates, so i stick to one or less fruit a day, and 40g of rice. I can’t cut them off completely because I have lunch and dinner with my family everyday because of quarantine, and they always watch what I eat. I can’t purge, because my whole family is in the house.

Being alone with my thoughts makes me unable to do anything: i feel extremely tired, i’d like to sleep all day, but i can’t, because i have to exercise in order to lose weight. But i’m tired, so i am physically unable to work out decently, and I am freaking out.

Good memories from this summer

A day in quarantine

Good morning guys

this is my very first post on this blog. I guess i just needed a place where I could express my thoughts.

I’m an italian girl, i’m 17 and I’m currently in quarantine because of the Covid-19 spread :)). I like yoga, I started practicing on September and I love it because it’s something I do for myself, and because I love my teacher Aldy. 

After high school (i am currently at one year and half from the end) I am going to be in college, and one of my daily struggle is deciding what am I going to study. My options are med school or data engineering, but my dream is to actually become a yoga teacher and travel the world :,).

Anyway, this is what a day in my life looks like (aka what I did this morning and what I am gonna do later).

I woke up at 7.00 am (i’m a morning person) and I had breakfast. I usually do some Surya Namaskara in the morning but today just didn’t seem right idk ahaha. Then I tied up my room and had a shower and washed my teeth and face and bruhsed my hair, and I am now writing this post. As you can see, nothing that exceptional. This is what i am going to do today: at 11.00 am I have a virtual italian class (yeah we gotta do this sort of stuff now that school is closed), but I’d like to go outside and buy some Diet Coke. Because of quarantene, going to grocery shopping has been quite difficult lately because you have to wait at least 15′ before entering into a supermarket. You can see something like 40 people lineing up one meter from each other in front of the supermarket, and they will go in just 5 at a time. The good thing though is that I found a very tiny grocery store where nobody goes to, so I don’t have to struggle so much to just have some diet coke. Anyway, after class I’ll do some homework, have lunch and later I’ll go for a walk with my dog. Its name is Ambra and honestly she is like the only thing after groceries that can let us go outside and breath some fresh air. When I’ll get back I am going to work out (today is upper side day) and do some stretching. Lol this day looks so boring ahahah.

Anyway, this evening I’d like to watch some good movies on Netflix. I recently watched The Truman Show, and it is now my favourite movie. I’d like to do some Moon Salutations too.

I honestly don’t know how to use Tumblr. I guess I am just going to post whatever comes into my mind. 

Have a good day guys :)