Let’s dance! Put on your red shoes and dance the blues... (Check my story today for a couple of video clips I made of @baileysargeant and I set to some 80s style Paramore.) . . , #musicmonday #dance #dancing #dancemoms #lgbtq #trans #thisiswhattranslookslike #80s #80sfashion #transisbeautiful #dancer #lgbt #music #queer #transgender #mtf #80saesthetic #girlslikeus #dancelife #transvisibility #mtftransgender #mtftrans #transwoman #transgirl #paramore #dancelover #transvengers #lgbtq🌈 #lesbian #girlswholikegirls (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bz8otbUnE8q/?igshid=woj4iugp1se5

Saying goodbye to my son is painful. It’s painful to the point of tears every time. I’m definitely grateful for the time we share together, but I also feel lamentation. Honestly, there are times when the waves of joy and sorrow ebb and flow from minute to minute. I know that I’ll see him again in a few months, but right now the feeling of loss is intense. I’ll spend the next week thinking about what went wrong and what went right during our visit and make adjustments accordingly. I’ll miss saying goodnight to him. I’ll miss seeing his facial reactions to the movies and shows that we watch. I’ll even miss the things he does that get on my nerves. Right now I’m a sad momma Vicky. Can I just sit on the couch and eat ice cream while watching my favorite shows for a week? Yes. Yes I can. . . . #trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtfamily #lgbtmom #momma #transmom #lesbianmom #lesbianmoms #twomoms #twomomsquad #transisbeautiful #transvisibility #thisiswhattranslookslike #girlslikeus #transwoman #transwomen #transgirl #divorcedparents #lgbtfashion #divorcedmom #sharedcustody #queer #transvengers #sunday #sadsunday #grateful #sorrow #gratefulheart (at Orange County, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bz7CZ9anX4o/?igshid=1hy5lbhhzwnbf

Earlier this week I was diagnosed with Ramsay Hunt Syndrome, which means I lost all motion on the right side of my face. I can’t smile or blink on that side (I do get to wear a cool eyepatch though). The doctor assured me that I will recover and regain mobility, although it may take several months. Unfortunately, this will probably push back my upcoming FFS surgery and career path. I recognize that the desires of my mind and my heart are much stronger than my body will allow, however, I’m not going to give up. I’m not going to hide from social media, podcasting or the new LGBTQ+ Allies Hangout group. Running away at this point would be antithetical to everything I’ve stood for so far. I may not look the ideal way I want to right now, but I still know that I’m beautiful. With that said, I recognize that I need to find more balance and get more organized. I also need a break. For the next two weeks I will be posting my back catalog of photos from the past 2 months. Then I’ll be back with current pictures of my lovely face as is. I am Victoria Rose. I can do anything, but I can’t do everything. Love you all. Thanks for listening 💕 . . . #trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #queer #transisbeautiful #thisiswhattranslookslike #transvisibility #girlslikeus #transwoman #transgirl #mtf #transvengers #beautifulgirls #beautiful #beautifulwomen #mtftransgender #imperfectlyperfect #selfcare #selfcaresaturday #selflove #loveyourself #takeabreak #bellspalsy #wontbeerased #stressmanagement #beauty #beautyinfluencer #stress #stressfree (at Orange County, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bz3ipTdn4x2/?igshid=1trdfc6x5b6rf

The trial run of “LGBTQ+ Allies Hangout” was a success! Two beautiful young women were able to shop for and buy clothes that they love in public for the first time. I was there to pick out some outfits and give fashion advice when necessary (The third picture shows a lovely young lady in an outfit that I picked out for her. She totally loved it and ended up buying it.) We’re going to have many more hangouts in the future: Video games? Yes. Makeup and hair day? Yes. Roller skating? Maybe. Karaoke? Definitely. There is strength in numbers and there is a need for more of this type of group around the world. I would love to see more people start up LGBTQ+ allies hangout groups in their area. . . . #fashionfriday #lgbt #fashion #lgbtq #fashionnova #queer #fashionblogger #transgender #fashionista #trans #fashiongram #transisbeautiful #thisiswhattranslookslike #fashionblog #transvisibility #fashiongram #girlslikeus #shopping #lgbtally #lgbtqally #transrightsarehumanrights #transvengers #personalstylist #personalshopper #gay #lesbian #bi #nonbinary #gendernonconforming #gendereuphoriafriday @creating_thomas (at Orange County, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bz0l4fTnVgv/?igshid=knu2vpa4gfcj

Is it weird to have friends that are old enough to be your mother or even your grandmother? If so, then call me weird, cause I’m not changing. I love these ladies. (I’ve experienced some issues this week that will require me to postpone my Top Ten for another week.) . . . #chronicpain #painmanagement #stjude #chronicpainwarrior #chronicpainawareness #chronicpainsucks #oldladygang #ageisjustanumber #friends #oldfriends #lgbtq #queer #lgbt #girlslikeus #trans #transisbeautiful #transvisibility #transgender #transwoman #transgirl #transvengers #thisiswhattranslookslike #lgbtally #lgbtallies #mtf #curlynaturalhair #curlyhair #curlygirlmethod #blueeyes (at Orange County, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BzyxKcWnTeG/?igshid=2gqa4d3k7a3i

2004 to 2019. Always the wacky woman. Coincidently I chose this picture last night and I woke up to see @suddenlysamantha had the same idea. I guess great minds think alike. . . . #transformationtuesday #beforeandafter #wacky #goofy #silly #goofygirl #trangender #trans #mtf #hrt #mtftransgender #transgirl #transwoman #thisiswhattranslookslike #transisbeautiful #lgbtq #lgbt #queer #lesbian #transvisibility #transvengers #blueeyes #transwomen #transgenderwoman #wontbeerased #transitiontuesday #transformation #transforming #girlslikeus (at Orange County, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BztGwxQn1VE/?igshid=sqmf7cxdao90

Haunting Demons - Victoria Maximus and the Lost Art of Communication (2005) This song was written when I was 20 years old. My brother and I found a bassist and co-lead guitarist and completed this song in a matter of days. I was frustrated with my marriage, my video game store and my gender/sexuality. I was also listening to a lot of Alice In Chains, Stone Temple Pilots and Pearl Jam. Since that time I have retired my “screamer” voice because it hurts my throat. It was fun while it lasted. (Warning: this song has some audio distortion. Don’t play it on any nice speakers or headphones) Vocals, Bass, Guitars: Victoria Kyvel Drums: Ryan Kiewel Recording and Mixing by Victoria Kyvel . . . #musicmonday #grunge #grungemusic #grungegirl #originalsong #originalmusic #lgbtq #trans #thisiswhattranslookslike #rockerchick #transisbeautiful #musician #lgbt #music #queer #transgender #mtf #schecter #girlslikeus #schecterguitars #transvisibility #mtftransgender #mtftrans #transwoman #transgirl #angry #frustration #frustrated #anger #transvengers (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bzqs3jHn93V/?igshid=8bczve60enzs

I’m officially Victoria Rose! Now I can update everything. I am honestly very excited for the day that I am no longer accidentally dead-named when I go to the doctor, the pharmacist or the bank. As much as I try to brush it off, it hurts a little every time. . . . #selfie #sundayselfie #namechange #mtf #mtftransgender #trans #wontbeerased #transition #transgirl #transgender #lgbt #gendereuphoria #trans #girlslikeus #lgbtq #euphoria #transrightsarehumanrights #queer #thisiswhattranslookslike #transisbeautiful #transvisibility #beingagirl #beingmyself #selfcare #selfcaresunday #selflove #loveyourself #transwoman #transwomenarewomen #transvengers (at Orange County, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BzoADdHHoxG/?igshid=18gmaylohbjgf

Finding the right kind of workout clothing can be difficult. If you’re someone like me who prefers skirts and dresses in favor of shorts and pants it’s almost impossible. I found this cute workout skirt on sale at runningskirts.com for $30 (not an ad). If you like the idea of wearing a skirt (with built in shorts or briefs) while exercising then it’s definitely worth a look. I also got this sports bra for $12.50 at Forever 21. It’s an amazing (and euphoric) feeling to be able to wear what you love while working out. . . . #fashionfriday #fashionnova #fashionblogger #fashionblogger #fashionista #fashion #fashionable #gendereuphoriafriday #gendereuphoria #fashionistas #fashionaddict #fashions #trans #girlslikeus #transgirl #transisbeautiful #transgender #mtf #hrt #lgbt #lgbtq #trans #transwoman #thisiswhattranslookslike #transvengers #queer #runningskirts #workout #workoutclothes #transvisibility (at Orange County, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BzjKl18H3Li/?igshid=rssm2kavq576

4th of July pool party! Top Ten will resume next week. . . . #transgirl #girlslikeus #transisbeautiful #poolparty #pool #poolside #poolday #thisiswhattranslookslike #trans #transgender #transvisibility #lgbt #lgbtq #transwoman #mtf #queer #mtftransgender #beautifulgirls #beautifulwomen #transvengers #4thofjuly #forthofjuly #the4th #bikini #bikinigirl #bikinigirls #bikinis #transpride #freedomforall @baileysargeant (at Orange County, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bzgyc9ynqbV/?igshid=pvks475aqdg0

2009-2019. These photos were taken almost exactly 10 years apart. I used to be nervous to share “before” pictures of myself. I was afraid that I’d only ever receive compliments on how I looked pre-transition. I didn’t want to deal with people questioning my decision to transition based on the value they place on conventional physical beauty. Questions that read more like statements saying: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”. The problem is that I was broken. When I look at the photo on the left I see a miserable person searching for purpose in a world that I couldn’t connect with. I was hyper-religious, extremely judgmental, arrogant, hypocritical, depressed and in between multiple bouts of addiction. This was the mask I wore to cover up the sensitive and sweet trans-lesbian I’ve always been below the surface. They say beauty is only skin deep, but I’d like to think that the most beautiful pieces of myself go far below the skin, and to the core of everything that I am inside. I am transgender. I am far more beautiful than any picture could show. I can do anything. . . . #transformationtuesday #beforeandafter #lesbian #trans #transgender #mtf #hrt #lgbtq #queer #lgbt #thisiswhattranslookslike #transisbeautiful #transvisibility #transwoman #transgirl #girlslikeus #transwomen #wontbeerased #mtftransgender #transpride #transandproud #beautiful #beauty #beautifulgirls #transitiontuesday #beautifulwomen #skindeep #transrightsarehumanrights #curlyhair #transvengers (at Orange County, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bza6gEmHDTZ/?igshid=balorchbdq5k

Mega Man 2 - Flash Man’s Stage When I recorded this riff last week I thought I’d played it perfectly, but when I went to edit it today I heard parts that seemed sloppy to me. My heart sank a bit as I pondered my next move. I felt like scrapping this video and re-recording it again until it was perfect, but then I remembered a piece of advice I recently gave to someone in regards to self doubt: “I’d be lying if I said I don’t relate. I’m learning to not run from fear, but instead to move forward and trust that it isn’t as bad as I think it is, many people are full of grace and whatever flaws there are will improve over time. Sometimes our “flaws” are wonderful because people get a sense of our personality and feel like we are relatable. Personalities can have an almost “uncanny valley” all their own when attempts at perfection end up seeming unrealistic and turn people away.” Today I’m taking my own advice and putting this up as is. Life’s not perfect and neither am I. . . . #musicmonday #transvisibility #musician #music #megaman #megaman2 #megaman11 #videogames #videogame #gamer #gamergirl #gamergirls #gamers #nes #nintendo #gaming #girlslikeus #transisbeautiful #thisiswhattranslookslike #transgirl #trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #transwoman #mtf #queer #guitarcover #guitargirl #transvengers (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BzYmyfDH_AN/?igshid=8ox7r72vf9f1

Today marks the last day of pride month and what an amazing celebration it’s been! This is a picture of me posing with someone I’d never met before. (They asked if they could get a picture with me because they loved my ballerina outfit.) I have no idea if they were there to celebrate pride in their gender identity, sexual identity or to celebrate with us as an LGBTQIA+ ally. It wouldn’t have made a difference in how treated them on that or any other day. They were kind to me and my family and that’s all that matters. During pride we celebrate together: Each one of us is unique, we are all beautiful in our diversity, and when we come together we also find that, in many ways, we are not so different. For the next 11 months our community will still be here, living in the truth that our identities are acceptable, in hopes that someday they will be universally accepted. We are the LGBTQIA+ community. We can do anything. (Picture posted with permission) . . . #pride #pridemonth #lgbtpride #lgbtqpride #transpride #lesbianpride #gaypride #queerpride #pridemonth #pride2019 #prideparade #girlslikeus #transgirl #transisbeautiful #thisiswhattranslookslike #transvisibility #lgbt #lgbtq #queer #lesbian #gay #trans #transgender #ocpride #transwoman #transrightsarehumanrights #wontbeerased #transandproud #lgbtandproud #transvengers (at Orange County, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BzWa65qHRhv/?igshid=1qlfsnt7kemp6

Singing my heart out in the car is one of my go-to self care activities. Sometimes it’s the only thing throughout the years that has kept me from breaking when life has been really hard. Later today I’ll post some car karaoke videos in my story feed. (This Photo was taken while stopped. Please be safe while driving.) . . . #selfcare #selflove #loveyourself #care #singing #singinginthecar #carpoolkaraoke #girlslikeus #transgirl #transisbeautiful #thisiswhattranslookslike #sing #trans #transgender #saturday #sarturdayvibes #queer #lgbt #lgbtq #transvisibility #transwoman #mtf #mtftransgender #lgbtqpride #lgbtpride #queerpride #lesbianpride #justagirl #imjustagirl #transvengers (at Orange County, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BzTME5dn-X_/?igshid=czz1foeddn51

It’s an amazing feeling when an outfit comes together in a way that helps you feel even more wonderful about your body. This outfit utilizes a lot of the tips I’ve written for “Fashion Friday”. The boots (size 11) were ordered online from Charlotte Russe. I bought them on sale, used a coupon and store credit so I only paid $5 out of pocket. The bodycon dress was also purchased at Charlotte Russe on sale for $20. The hosiery was purchased at Target for $8 and helps bring in my waist and smooth out my curves. Total cost for this outfit = $33 out of pocket (Plus $10 store credit). . . . #fashionfriday #friday #girlslikeus #thisiswhattranslookslike #trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #pride #pridemonth #mtf #mtftransgender #mtftrans #transwoman #queer #lesbian #bodycondress #bodycon #hosiery #boots #fashionnova #fashionblogger #fashionable #fashionkilla #fashionaddict #fashionista #transvisibility #gendereuphoriafriday @creating_thomas #transvengers (at Brea, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BzROo21ns-2/?igshid=jb1iqxwu2v4z

Top Ten Albums Round 3: Paul’s Boutique - Beastie Boys After the release of their debut album “License to Ill” the Beastie Boys were on top of the world. With the help of Rick Rubin they had crafted an album full of soon-to-be classics such as “Fight For Your Right”, “No Sleep Till Brooklyn”, “Girls”, and “Brass Monkey”. They could have ridden that wave of fame and released another album in the same style, but instead they moved from New York to California and broke ties with their producer/label. What came next is what I believe to be the most influential and underrated hip hop album of all time. It’s full of vintage funk, surprising samples and some of the most clever lyrics to ever be laid over a beat. Paul’s Boutique was so ahead of its time that it ended up being a commercial flip upon its release. It wasn’t until years later that people took another listen and discovered the hidden gems to be found within. Three years later they would release “Check Your Head” and find their new sound, but Paul’s Boutique will forever represent an era of exploration and risk-taking for one of hip hops most revered and legendary groups. . . . #topten #beastieboys #thebeastieboys #paulsboutique #hiphop #rap #hiphopmusic #hiphopblog #transisbeautiful #girlslikeus #thisiswhattranslookslike #trans #transgender #transgirl #transwoman #lesbian #lgbtfamily #lgbt #lgbtq #queer #lgbtparents #twomoms #mtf #mtftransgender #transvisibility #family #familygoals #transvengers #lesbian #80sfashion @baileysargeant (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BzOCJIKHVFs/?igshid=ay9gsanlqsz7

This was our first year attending pride and we went all in. First we went to LA Pride and this past weekend we attended OC Pride. OC Pride was more intimate than LA Pride and there were so many different people that we got to see: The first photo is of me with my friends John and Dena (Their son and I were friends when we were little kids). They are both amazing people and I’m so glad to be able to reconnect with them after almost 30 years. The second is of me and @baileysargeant with our friends @sarah_bo_brera and @spectr6411. The third is a friend of mine from the LGBT center that I haven’t seen I awhile. I can’t wait to reconnect with her soon. The fourth is me with the pastor of an open and affirming church Bailey and I attended a few times. I felt a tap on my shoulder, turned around and there she was, ready to greet me with a big hug and a sweet smile. The last two pictures are of our family (Me, Bailey, my son, Mama Rose and our family friend Michelle). Next month is OC Trans Pride and I’ll be there doing a presentation on fashion. Feel free to say hello if you see me! . . . #pride #ocpride #transpride #lgbtpride #lgbtq #lgbt #queer #queerpride #trans #girlslikeus #transgirl #transisbeautiful #thisiswhattranslookslike #transwoman #humpday #gaypride #lesbian #lesbianpride #mtf #mtftransgender #wontbeerased #transvisibility #transvengers #gay #loveislove #lovewins #lgbtfamily #pridemonth #pridemonth2019 #pride2019 (at Santa Ana, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BzLd22qH_eB/?igshid=haq6ftg2ykpa