my mom didn’t believe in lying to children so when I first asked about santa claus as a small child she was like “oh santa claus is another name for a man named saint nicholas who lived a long time ago. he was a very kind and generous man and he loved giving people presents and he would do things like put presents in people’s stockings when they were hung up to dry by the fire, so they would find them and be surprised. so now when we give presents at christmas it’s fun to pretend saint nicholas or ‘santa claus’ brings them. and we hang up stockings by the fire and when we get up in the morning there are presents in them, just like if saint nicholas was still alive to bring them!”
so that thanksgiving one of my uncles said jovially “so mac, are you being good for santa claus?” and little (not quite three year old) mac looked up and raised an eyebrow and said witheringly “he’s dead.”
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A concise description of Goncharov, for anyone as confused as I was when I first awoke.
There are as of now 19 AO3 fics in the Goncharov (1973) fandom... when I checked a couple hours ago, there were only five.
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your portrayal of mpreg jesus is seriously laughable. you really think he would suddenly start developing seahorse mannerisms as early as in the first trimester? give me a break. everyone knows you're just projecting because youre a furry. can't wait to read the next chapter though! :)
Congratulations! this is the funniest ask I’ve ever received. Please don’t tell me what seahorse mannerisms are
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What I’d give for one of the Cinderella remakes to go into how when you’re in an isolated and abusive situation, sometimes you need to be saved and you’re not weak if you can’t escape by yourself
I’ve never been a fan of bad faith reinterpretations of fairy tales, especially ones which flatten the originals into “princesses is saved by a prince and nothing else”, to then go #girlboss. The princess can save herself because she’s a strong female character! (Implying if you’re in a bad situation, it’s because you’re not strong enough to get out)
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Gritty’s gotten real weird, and I kind of love it.
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when I was very young my mother told me "they're going to try and teach you that we came from monkeys but that's not true and you shouldn't listen to them because we were made from god" and she was my mom and I was like 7, so I pretty much just went "okay, noted, anyway"
anyway like 2 years later evolution comes up in class and one of my classmates goes "is this the we evolved from monkeys thing?"
and I'm on Red Alert. this is what my mom told me about!
the teacher replies, "well, we share a common ancestor, but we didn't evolve directly from apes. if you go back way before apes or people existed, you'll find a different third thing we both came from. we know this because of things like fossils"
and I was like whoo! dodged a bullet there, good thing my 4th grade science class isn't trying to teach us we came from monkeys and instead figured stuff out using fossils and taught us that instead :)
Instructions Unclear, Ended Up Believing In Evolution Anyway
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I could not be more bored of women characters who are dangerous in a competent, sexy, luminous makeup and blow-dried hairstyle kind of way. I am so tired of all these dry-clean-only girlbosses strutting their way into stories. “Oh she’s so beautiful AND so good at martial arts and so clever and seductive” No! Get that outta here!! Give me more women who are dangerous in a real grungy way, like rusted metal with a sharp edge. Girls who make you glad you’ve had your tetanus shot. Girls who cut their own hair and get bad tattoos. Girls who are as charming as a wet feral cat. Girls who might be clever enough to Play The Game but would rather flip over the chess board and punch you in the throat. I demand more horrible unpleasant women!! Thank you.
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What was your first source of portable music? Walkman? CD player with headphones? MP3 Player? iPod? Phone?
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The Catholic Church spent $3 million trying to crush abortion rights in Kansas, and failed
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