to-fangirl-or-not-to-fangirl
warning: emotionally unstable
Requests open!Levihan RWBYBatfamily
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any fans of rwby AND the ghoul boys out there just…suffering right now?
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ironwood looking for qrow in v8
#rwby#rwby memes#qrow branwen#james ironwood#no bc why was he so concerned about finding qrow when salem was literally there
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Final Fantasy XV + tumblr text posts (part 2)
Idk what to say I blacked out for an hour and a half and these were done
[Previous]
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fic snippet
“She won’t talk to you.” That was Sun, his ever-constant presence by my side making itself known once again.
“No, she won’t talk to you. I’m her boyfriend. She’ll talk to me.” It was almost enough to make me open my eyes. Marrow was here? After all this time, he’d finally made it?
“She won’t talk to anyone. She can’t.”
The tension in the room was palpable in the silence that followed. I pretended to remain unconscious, if only so I wouldn’t have to acknowledge the swirling emotions.
“She—what?” Marrow fumbled. “What— what did you do? What did you do to her?!”
Sun scoffed. His voice was venom. So un-Sunlike that I wondered if I’d hallucinated this whole thing.
“I didn’t do anything. It was Salem. I’ve been right here, helping. Where were you?”
‘He left me,’ my brain supplied unhelpfully, further pushing me into my cocoon of grief. ‘He abandoned me. He followed Ironwood and his convoluted plan, instead of trusting me. Just like…’
“You know,” Sun said, his voice low in the suddenly silent room, “Mercury was an asshole, but he never left her side.”
#rwby#rwby fanfiction#rwby fic#rwby oc#ebony#sun wukong#marrow amin#mercury black#fic snippet#fic sneak peek#fanfiction
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i want to talk about religion, and trauma, and guilt, and the lgbt community, and how all of these things existing together in one being is so, so exhausting.
i was raised in a small baptist church, having all of these ideals pushed into my small, forming brain. girls must wear skirts below their knees and must cover their midriffs and shoulders, though brothers are not taught to not touch their sisters. music with a bass or drum in the background is satanic, even if the lyrics are praising God. respect is given to adults, though it is rarely earned, and children are to sit back and accept what comes their way.
i was yelled at for wearing nail polish, for listening to Casting Crowns, for going to my friend’s house and wearing shorts. my brother was not scolded for watching porn, or for exploring my body, or for stealing an mp3 player and downloading secular music.
i was 10 when my father died, and my mother distanced us from that church, and slowly, their beliefs faded to childhood memories. i am 21 now, and while i strongly disagree with the beliefs under which i was raised, i do consider myself to be a christian. but what does that mean for me?
i believe in God. i believe that He is kind, that He loves us all, and that He wants what is best for us, for me. i do not believe that He condemns for trivial things like who you love, or how you choose to present yourself.
that does not stop the guilt. because what if i am wrong?
i love my fiancee. she is my world, and despite the fact that we are both women and i was raised to see differently, i see a future with her.
and sometimes, seeing the future scares me. i see our wedding. i see our children. i see us in our old age. and i see us die. and then i see God frowning, and telling me i was wrong, and that i have wasted my life with a woman who i should not have looked twice at.
sometimes, i wish that she would die. i wish that i would love her with my whole being, and she love me with hers, and then she dies. and i am young, and i am grief-stricken, but i then find a man to marry, and i will have loved truly, and God will not fault me for a momentary lapse in judgement.
i do not like these thoughts. i do not want them. i want to love her fully and freely without my own mind telling me it is wrong. i want to love her, and i want to love God, and i want these things to coexist without guilt or despair.
just once, i would like to just exist.
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saltburn (farleigh) fics
is there anyone who watched the movie, loved it, and wants to read fics about farleigh that aren’t sex-focused?
as an asexual, those…select scenes are the ones that almost broke the movie for me. but i finished it anyway, realized it’s actually pretty good, and i’d love to see more content, especially about farleigh, but i’m sex-repulsed and it seems that that’s all the content that’s out there.
if anyone feels the same way, send me an ask with a prompt. i’d love to start writing the fluffier side of farleigh fics on this hellsite
#saltburn#farleigh start#venetia catton#oliver quick#felix catton#elspeth catton#archie madekwe#barry keoghan#farleigh saltburn#farleigh x reader#farleigh imagine
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i’ve been learning a lot about grief this year.
i’ve been learning a lot about a lot of things this year—how hard life can really be—but a lot of what’s happening is manifesting in my heart as pain and grief and loss, and…i wanted to share some thoughts.
2023 marks 10 years since my dad died. it happened on december 30th, so basically 2014, but it was 2013. i was 10, on the brink of 11, but i was 10.
he was a good man. a great man, many of the people who knew him would say. but he wasn’t a good father. i went through a lot of things in his final years that he died not knowing. because my mother wanted to spare him from the reality of what their parenting had done to their only daughter.
it’s been 10 years, and…i’ve changed. obviously, i’m 20, and not nearly the same as i was at 10, but i’ve changed in more drastic ways than that. in fact, if my father were alive and could see me now, he would disown me. my mother has admitted to that. he would see me as a disgrace, would want nothing to do with me.
i like that. i like that i’m someone so completely different from how he wanted me to be. he groomed me, bred me, to be the perfect daughter, the perfect christian, the perfect person. but perfection is an unattainable goal, and i’m far from it now.
it’s been 10 years. i’ve almost been without him longer than i had him, and that’s a strange thing to process. but this year has held more for me than that.
i lost a friend i thought would be with me forever. it was different than the other times i’ve lost people. most of the time it ends in fights, or a feeling of wrongness. there’s closure, and even if there’s not, i can sleep knowing it was a good thing for it to end. it’s different with this friend. i’ve been stuck in this aching, hollow hole within myself, knowing they exist outside, and yet they do not exist with me. they live a life i know nothing about. there was no closure. there was no wrongness. it just ended. and i miss them. every day the hole gets bigger, and i keep waiting for it to swallow me, waiting for it to end, but it doesn’t. i’m still here. aching.
i have a girlfriend now. it’s pretty weird. we haven’t been together long, but we live together, and that feels very…final. it’s something i want to share with friends from my past. something i want to scream about to everyone i pass. but it’s also something i want to tuck away and hide. something i want to keep secret. everyone’s opinion of me has changed. they think i’m a completely different person now that i’m dating a woman instead of a man. i feel like a completely different person. i feel like i don’t know myself. i’ve struggled with what this means for me, what this makes my sexuality, what i identify as. i still don’t know. i still have more questions than answers.
i’ve been angry lately. so, so angry. i was a sad person before. now, i am furious. i’m angry at my girlfriend for showing me love and compassion and giving me a home where i’m safe and accepted. i’m angry at my father for dying and leaving me to make my own decisions in life, instead of following a path he created for me. i’m angry at the people who’ve wronged me, but i’m angry at the people who’ve done right by me. i miss so many people, so many things, but mostly i miss myself. and that makes me angriest of all.
i don't know who i am anymore.
i am a being held in grief's arms. i am not a person. i am simply a consciousness.
and i am drowning.
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#end toxic masculinity#toxic masculinity#intersectional feminism#feminist#feminism#intersectionality#equality#equal rights#quotes#inclusive feminism
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this is just yang in v7
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a comic about fix-it fanfics
#crying bc this is exactly what it is#original comic#fanfic#fix it fic#fandom#dr who#bbc sherlock#avengers#my comic#my art#been thinking about the truly dumb amount of time i've spent reading fanfic
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it's still related to cake
RED WINE AND ROYAL BLUE (2023)
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so my girlfriend and i finally finished volume 8
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I almost screamed out of joyment when Nick said "I hate you because you literally assaulted him" because even tho that's obviously what happened, it's never explicitly said in the comics and i just loved that someone finally said what happened with its correct words, it was so special to me
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I’m sorry if i seem weird it's because I literally am
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A girl stands alone in a field. The weight of the world is placed on her shoulders.
A farmer walks past. “please. help.” The girl says.
The farmer responds. “can’t you see I’m hauling this load of hay? How selfish must you be, asking me to set aside my own burden to help you”.
The farmer leaves.
A girl stands alone in a field. The weight of the world is placed on her shoulders.
A noblewoman walks past. “please. help.” The girl says.
The noblewoman responds. “Help you? You seem to be managing well on your own. How lazy must you be, asking for me to help a burden you can very well carry”.
The noblewoman leaves.
A girl stands alone in a field. The weight of the world is placed on her shoulders.
A knight walks past. “please. help.” The girl says.
The knight responds. “Whoever would I help you? Every man is given a burden to carry. How weak must you be, asking your burden be relieved”.
The knight leaves.
A girl stands alone in a field. Tears flow down her face. Her back is breaking. Her arms are so weak. She hasn’t felt her legs in days. The weight of the world is still on her shoulders. She lets it go. She is crushed.
News of the girl’s death reaches the capital.
“What a shame” said the farmer. “if only I could have helped”.
“What a shame” said the noblewoman. “if only I could have helped”.
“What a shame” said the knight. “if only I could have helped”.
A great memorial is erected in the capital, honoring the girl who gave so much.
“So selfless” said the farmer.
“So driven” said the noblewoman.
“So strong” said the knight.
“If I had met the girl” says the farmer, “I would’ve taken the weight from her. It would be easy for me to stow it in my cart”.
“If I had met the girl” says the noblewoman, “I would’ve taken the weight from her. I carry so little, it’s the least I could do”.
“If I had met the girl” says the knight, “I would’ve taken the weight from her. I am strong and noble, I could surely carry such a burden more readily than she”.
The girl is still dead.
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