thehareswears - Tumblr blog

thehareswears · 6 days

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thehareswears · 6 days

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I don't know what those fucking feeling is, why am I jealous? Is this what envy feels like?

I want what I can't have I want things that I have never had. I'm fucking enraged that I was not afforded the same courtesies in life as others it kills me to know that I have been shortchanged in a way most other people will never experienced.

No one wants to hear about it, no one knows what to say I just want someone to make it right and bridge the gap. I'm having a fucking tantrum all because I will never be validated in my suspicions and I will have to live my whole life with no confirmation of anything I think and I just have to be happy with that

#mentally exhausted #mental pain #mentally unstable #mental breakdance #bed rotting #beware the hare #vent account #vent post #mental illness #cluster b #substance abuse

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thehareswears · 6 days

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Good morning world!

There's nothing I love more in the morning than thinking everyone who loves me, hates me! And I hate them back!

#bpd splitting #mental illness #borderline personality disorder #cluster b #emotional disregulation #mdd thoughts #vent post #beware the hare #npd safe #aspd safe #the hare declares

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thehareswears · 7 days

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Yeah I got BDE

(Break Down Energy)

#the hare declares #beware the hare #cluster b #mental illness #breakdown #mental pain #help

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thehareswears · 8 days

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I'll always be a little bit tired, a little bit hungry

Always a little bit cold, a little bit angry

Always a little bruised, a little bloody

Always on edge, always miserable

Maybe, just maybe, if I get out of myself and ignore my body decomposing around me I'll function right. If I keep the living corpse moving then I'll finally be doing good in life. I'm all of those things and more but no one else cares so why should I?

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thehareswears · 13 days

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i dont think im better than you i know im better than you 🙄🙄 (nearly sobbing and shaking like a wounded animal)

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thehareswears · 14 days

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There's no feeling I love more than talking myself out of social events only to experience crippling regret later

I look hotter than she does I look hotter than all of them but my soul is so fucking ugly I'm embarrassed to be seen for fear that someone might catch a glimpse of what an insecure lying lazy piece of shit I am. She thinks she's perfect and radiates it accordingly. The most loathsome human being in my life is so stunning its no fucking wonder why no one would like someone like me as much as her.

Evidence of my failure and my hurt is forever etched in my skin, I'm unwashed and unsightly from neglecting myself, I cannot physically manage to put a pleasant look on my face. I'm a fucking eyesore of course I didn’t want to go out, no one else wanted me there either.

#beware the hare #mental illness #narc crash

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thehareswears · 1 month

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The amount that She marvels at empathy is so fucking exhausting to hear about and it's so horrible to say that because I know that empathy isn't intrinsic to everyone but it would be so fucking cool if she could remember how to do that all the time. Like holy fuck, there's no goddamn way it's a marvel to her every single time she can put herself in someone else's place and try to see things from another point of view. She's over 40 and she's explaining this to me like it's mindblowing a revolutionary, and yeah it's sweet because she doesn't want me to struggle in this world the way that she has but the thing is, I fucking don't and she would know that if she applied that "mind stretch" to her own fucking child

And just like that I feel like a dick because I know how hard she's worked to get to where she is and it truly is marvelous for her to be so enamored with the idea of empathy. I am very proud of her

#low empathy #emotional disregulation #empathy #mental illness #cluster b #npd #actually npd #narc mom #mood swings #the hare declares #beware the hare #mdd thoughts #vent post #npd safe #aspd safe

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thehareswears · 1 month

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I just need someone to hold me like a child and tell me it's okay while they light my joint for me and let me cry about things that aren't even close to being real or true but they're real and true to me please please someone please I'll give you all my money

#bpd love #bpd problems #bpd episode #mental illness #bed rotting #beware the hare #please i'm begging #cluster b #substance abuse #mdd thoughts #vent post #im so tired #emotional distress #mentally exhausted

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thehareswears · 1 month

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I told Doctor Tillis to prescribe an illness

But he said his schedules filled with

Children who need Prozac

Prilosec and Lo-jack

Triple-sec and Lexapro for second-guesses

Drugs that heal

So we can touch instead of feel

/Neurotic Erotic by Will Wood

Rant about being medicated below

I feel like I'm doing a lot of touching instead of feeling recently, being medicated kind of fucking sucks, it's like the difference between being attacked by a feral raccoon and having that same raccoon in a bag. The raccoon is still there, and still very much pissed, but it's not clawing at my face and trying to eat me, you know?

I'll stop taking them once I graduate, they make me so fucking drowsy that I almost can't do anything, it's only better than being unmedicated because I don't have an overwhelming urge to throw myself off the nearest cliff.

I also can't really feel much of anything anymore, focusing on the positive doesn't really work but focusing on the negative isn't really all that easy either. There's just a whole lot of nothing except some anxiety but that's situational.

I don't like that my mom keeps trying to tell me what "our" real problem and how meds don't really work for "us". I really like that she's sympathizing but she's putting me in her position rather than the other way around and she's kind of missing the mark. I wanna tell her off sometimes but she's really trying and I just can't critique that

Anyway that's my rant, thanks for listening

#the hare cares #the hare declares #beware the hare #bed rotting #take your meds #medication #mental illness #cluster b #bpd recovery #aspd safe #npd safe #hpd safe #vent post #mdd thoughts

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thehareswears · 1 month

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I don't know what this is even from but it sounds bad ass

Made a slay the princess uquiz :)

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thehareswears · 2 months

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I hate church I hate God I hate all that is holy, every time I step foot into a place of worship I feel it

Burn

And the burning doesn't stop until I'm physically exhausted, this might be a delusion or just a stress reaction but it feels like I'm clinging desperately to my dirty little soul while it's being power washed by jesus

#the hare declares #fuck church #i hate jesus #i hate god #unreality #tw delusion #demon possession #unholy #mental illness #losing my mind #leave me alone #sinner #hate church #substance abuse #cluster b #vent post

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thehareswears · 2 months

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The moment when you're sick and crying and just blurt out "I need my mom" and people look at you confused because she's right there in the next room and you're also confused because that's not the person you're referring to..? Just some abstract form of a mother figure that wouldn't tell you to "just deal with it", a mother that would comfort you when you're in pain. But it's not her. It will never be her.

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thehareswears · 2 months

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Why won't everyone just abandon me or hate me already so I can just fucking die

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thehareswears · 2 months

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i’ll love you like a dog and you’ll betray me like a man

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thehareswears · 2 months

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I love my npd mom, I know lots of narc abuse truthers lean heavily on the "narcissistic parent" as the reason why they're so spiteful but honestly it's not so awful for me.

She'll watch my emotionally unstable ass scream and cry and have a full blown meltdown and not bat an eye. Shes disgustingly honest with me all the time the woman sees no point in lying to me now. I can say whatever melodramatic, extreme emotional thought I have at that moment and she can understand that I'll be over it and not care. Her emotional permanence is zero, just like mine! We get into arguments or she'll be pissed at something but the next time she sees me it's like it never happened.

I won't lie, she's entitled, she's grandiose and arrogant, she's unempathetic and very manipulative. She's also my mother and I adore her because she loves me more than any other human does, she just does it a little different.

#npd safe #actually bpd #cluster b #mental illness #the hare declares #anti narc abuse #narc mom #emotional disregulation #low empathy

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thehareswears · 2 months

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damn, you're so boring and pathetic.

Yeah? You promise? You really really mean it anon?

You think I'm mind numbingly boring? I bet you didn't even think of me after you sent me this ask and it's sooo pathetic of me to be typing out this response to someone who doesn't even care right now. I'm an absolute loser, right anon? <3

It would be a shame if you sent me more of these mean asks, but you're such a saint for doing it, it's the only excitement I get in my boring and pathetic little day

#answering asks #boring #pathetic loser #the hare declares #not kink #im a minor #attention seeking #narcissistic supply #no shame

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