#~ S.M. threads ~
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@writingshae
A quiet, bubbling laugh left her plush lips when he reached for her even though she was in the process of going through her nightly routine which meant she was more slippery than usual. Serena barely managed to dodge the first swipe of his arm before Adrian had his other arm snugly around her and was holding her to his chest. “Not fair,” she all but pouted at him even if her eyes were alight with mirth and joy, “no using your speed against me,” she said.
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Once in a morning breathe
Carlos Sainz x female!reader
Words count : 1k.
*inspired by S.M song : where were you in the morning, it was intended for Max but it fits Carlos so well in my mind.
The light breeze seeped in through the cracked window ruffling softly through the curtains causing them to dance along , the sunlight mixed with sheets reflecting it's warmth and casting a bright halo around the sleeping figure.
Carlos groaned as he turned away from the light after attempting to shield his eyes but gave up moments later , he slowly reached his hand out blindly in search for warmth , only to frown at the empty space beside him , the messed covers and slightly pushed back pillows along with the hints of perfume confirmed his memories of someone else's presence from the night before , and not. Just anyone, it was Her , but now she's gone before he could convince her to stay a little longer.
His mind kept replying her name over and over again like a prayer until he buried his face down on the pillow trying to rid his mind of it's torment, but that only made it worse as her fragrance invades his senses and dragged him back into memories he longed for day and night .
He yearned for her touch and how she gently caressed his skin like a thread of bless as her fingers danced in tone with his heartbeat , he longed for her eyes and how they lit up with passion whenever they gazed up on his , he longed for her warmth, her embrace where he could swear his whole being melts in her arms .
His mind wanders to last night's whispers , to when she promised to stay over , drowning him in a daze with every kiss and every caress of her fingertips that made his heart flutter in glee , now all of it fade into the cold air , just when he thought he finally convinced her to give him a chance his high hopes came tumbling down with reality , but as much as he tried to he couldn't bring himself to let her go .
His phone laid on the nightstand face down, taunting him for not having her number saved even after all this, and every time , every single time it goes over his head and by the time he's out of the clouds he's filled with agony, regretting the forgetfulness, promising himself to get it the next time , but as usual, the moment he laid his eyes on a glimpse of her everything fade into oblivion, leaving nothing but her and the need to be close to her dictating his every sense.
Turning to his side he found himself making up excuses, trying to ease the pain a bit . Maybe she had a good reason, maybe something came up and she had to go , maybe, but a thousand maybe won't suffice his troubled mind , and when he finally made peace with the empty pit in his chest for the day he gathered what's left of his heart and got up to move on with his day , leaving his messed sheets and the remains of his lost moments of happiness behind as he made his way out .
His world came to a pause, as if life was brought back to his welting heart, and couldn't help but admire the sight before him . He prayed to God that if he was dreaming that he would never wake , he prayed to stay like this forever . She stood there , in the the middle of his kitchen humming softly along with the radio as she watched over the stove, swaying every now and then before focusing back on the task at hand , he noticed the plates sitting on the counter top , all neatly prepped and smelling devine, but what caught his attention was his shirt , draped around her form down and passed her mid thigh , one sleeve rolled up to her elbow and the other dangled past her fingers , slipping up every time she reached out to grasp something .
His feet took him further inside and he found himself standing right behind her , not helping himself as he reached his arms to sneak around her waist and buried his face on the crock of her neck where his shirt slipped down her shoulder, earning a gasp before it turned into a giggle as his unshaved stubble tickled her exposed skin , making his heart flutter as she leaned back into him " hi " he could only humm back before mumbling a " morning" back to her , too content to move away and she didn't dare to interrupt his peaceful state so she spoke quietly after turning the stove off and lifted one of her hands to absent-mindedly run through his already messed up hair , earning a deep sigh as he tightened his hold on her .
" I didn't know what you like more for breakfast so I made a bit of everything . Oh! I also made coffee if you want some , and I hope don't mind me messing you kitchen, I'll make sure to clean everything and put it back in place and.........." He didn't let he finish as he let go for a moment, startling her when he turned her around and lifted her to settle on the counter, before settling himself between her legs , assuring her in a very serious voice " you can burn down my kitchen for all I care , it won't matter " she tilted her head in amusement as she wrapped one arm around his neck while her other hand caressed his jaw as she asked " and what matters? " He leaned into her touch as he answered with sincerity " you stayed " .
Her face softened at his tone , his eyes shining with so much affection that made her lean in and plant a kiss on his lips before answering softly " I promised you I'll be here when you wake up " , he affirmed " you did " , she hummed with a nod then leaned in to plant a kiss on his lips , whispering as she leaned her forehead against his " I'll always stay for you " , he closed his eyes in bless before closing the gap and stealing a long toe curling kiss from her lips " please do " she nodded with a wide grin " always " .
#f1#f1 x reader#f1 fic#f1 x female reader#carlos sainz x y/n#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz x you#carlos sainz x female reader#carlos sainz imagine
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A night to remember- S.M
With you in his arms , stan slams the door shut behind you , leaving kisses down your neck. He lowers you onto the bed gently as he moves to lock the door before crawling back into the bed. You’ve sat up by now and sit in his lap, combing your fingers through his hair and tugging .. prompting a deep groan from the bottom of his throat. Stan flips you around so he’s hovering over you . Diving down he tackles your lips in a rough kiss leaving you breathless . A sudden wave of confidence hits you as you run your nails up his chest underneath his shirt “fuck..” he mumbles staring down at you , lust painted across his face. You stare up at him through your eyelashes and bat your eyes at him. “Stanley~” you coo and pull him by the tie down to your face “I’ve been naughty~ you gonna punish me?” You pout at him. “You’re so fucking hot” he captures you in an intense French kiss, pulling away with a saliva trail connecting you both. He sits back and begins to strip his clothing, before helping you out of the dress you were wearing. leaving you both in only your underwear, Stan immediately takes notice of the dark red lace you’re wearing.. he flushes pink and whines at the heavenly sight before him. You drag your fingertips up his bare chest before threading them into his black locks and tugging on them. The noise that Stan emitted was like music to your ears , a deep rumbling groan echos throughout the bed room. This awoke a need inside you .. the need to feel him. It wasn’t long before both of you were completely vulnerable to each other. Stan glanced down at you with your hair sprawled around you on the pillow , “you’re like an angel..” he whispers before moving into position. “You ready..?” He questions “as I’ll ever be” you smile softly up at him. And so he gently pushes in as a soft gasp escapes your lips , your arms shoot and grab onto his defined arms “shit babe.. you’re so tight~” Stan moans. You gently rock your hips up to meet his - just to test the waters .. both of you create a harmony with your voices. Finding his rhythm Stan goes at it with passion. “Stan I..” “shh I know” you reach your peak with Stanley following soon after both singing out the others name. Tiredly he climbs off you and flops down on the bed next to you , he pulls you into his chest as you both catch your breath. Eventually you fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.
NOT PROOF READ!!
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── #. 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐒 ; 𝐋&𝐃𝐒
In affiliation with Flux Arts and @rafayel-fishie ; please direct any business concerns towards me.
Disclaimer: This is a gimmick / roleplay blog created for entertainment purposes only! Admin does not own this character, and is in no way, shape, or form associated with InFold PTE LTD. or the Love and Deepspace franchise.
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[to be updated as needed! - 05/28/24]
𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊?
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𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒.
please mute and curate as necessary!
OOC: out of office hours (ooc)
Suggestive: caution | suggestive
Explicit: caution | explicit
Answered asks: best regards; (inbox)
General: gallery memo
Prose RP: thomas | prose
Dialogue RP: thomas | dialogue
Thoughts: thomas | musings
Queue: from the backroom (queue)
Reblog: attached herewith; (reblog)
Thread tag: (emoji/alias) | story unfolding
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General label: (emoji/username) | mail
TAKEN ANONS—
🌷 ; 🖋️ ; ⭐ (S.M) ; ❄ ; 🌹; 🕸️
CANON TAGS—
rafayel; my sea. my freedom. ✦ talia; symphonious waves ✦ jenna; my warmth ✦ jeremiah; flower weaves ✦ tara; miss sunshine ✦ mc; begin again ✦ astra; a mystical presence
𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐋&𝐃𝐒 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐒.
send some love over to some of our other gimmick blogs!
Rafayel 🤍: @rafayel-fishie / @ehhrafayel
Xavier ⭐: @xavier-starlight
Zayne ❄: @zayne-snowman
Caleb ✈️️: @caleb-pilot
Talia 🎶: @talia-sings
Jenna 💕: @unicorns-captain
Tara 🔮: @taraandtarot
Nero 🔎: @wandererenthusiast1
Jeremiah 🌷: @jeremiahofphilo
Greyson 🩺: @drgreysonmd
Yvonne 💊: @yvonnesrespite
Astra 👁: @sasstras-gaze
Crow 🐦⬛: @just-a-normal-crow
MC ♠️: @aethercodeevol
#(NAVIGATION)#out of office hours (ooc)#best regards; (inbox)#gallery memo#thomas | prose#thomas | dialogue#thomas | musings#from the backroom (queue)#attached herewith; (reblog)
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So often, I find my fingers reaching for you. Thumb paused over my phone screen, on any thread I left open, a small bridge. I sit there and I wait, staring, until I lose the nerve or gain the courage. A failure and a success.
Edit:
Less often, I find my finger reaching for you. My thumb no longer hovers over my phone screen, I cut all the threads, and the bridge sits crumbled and abandoned. I no longer sit there and wait, and when you do cross my mind I watch the thought flit away as fast as it came. My courage is present, and I think I will always be both a failure and a success in whatever way I choose to define the stakes.
-After, July 2023
(s.m.)
#original poem#sad poetry#heartbreak#poets on tumblr#writers and poets#female poets#poetry#sad prose#new poets society#daily thoughts#prose#poetry diary#breakup#growth#blossom#healing poetry
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Hide your wallets, it's that time again! Your daily thread of romance deals is ready, FREE to $0.99!
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REVIEW
Falling for the Charmer by S.M. West
A 6ix Loves Novel #5
Deliciously delightful sometimes dizzying and dazzling road trip that had my head spinning along with the wheels on the car :) I wanted to finish it last night BUT at 2am I gave in and went to sleep but was back to reading first thing today!
What I liked:
* Tom Raine: calm, gentle, kind, sees the best in others, giving, generous, good friend, caring, loves his family, devilish sense of humor, at loose ends, sees something in Leighton that he nourishes
* Leighton Price: anxiety issues, pushes, guarded, defensive, abrupt, unhappy, lonely, puts her parents first, wants more, sees something in Tom and opens up with and for him
* Watching the development of the relationship between Tom and Leighton on the road trip
* Not liking Leighton much at the beginning but then warming up to her as I began to understand why she is the way she is
* Tom’s ability to see Leighton and help her open up
* The good friends that both main characters had
* That eventually Leighton was able to assert herself, overcome some of her fears, and state her needs
* Tom being able to figure out his professional future
* Wondering if some of the supporting characters (Fallon and August) will have stories of their own in a spin-off series
* The “Yummy Golden Goodness” thread in the story
* That this is a standalone easy to read story though the final book in the series
What I didn’t like:
* Who and what I was meant not to like
* Thinking about Leighton’s parents and the impact they had on Leighton
* Felix – what a weasel he was
Did I like this series? Yes
Would I read more by this author? Definitely
Thank you to the author for the ARC – This is my honest review.
5 Stars
BLURB
Twenty-five hundred miles in a car. All I want is a respectful driver who'll be quiet and let me lick my wounds. Instead, a disarming flirt takes the wheel and propels my life into a tailspin.
My father was supposed to be my road trip companion but abandoned me for his work. Once again. It should no longer hurt, but it does.
To add insult to injury, with his shorts and flip-flops, mussed hair, and a blindingly perfect smile, my driver is…
Annoyingly hot and far too friendly.
From the moment our gazes collide, things between us are hostile. Actually, I’m the frosty one. Tom Raine is a special kind of guy.
No matter how insufferable I am or how many times I stress he’s nothing more than my driver—most definitely not my friend—he persists in tearing down my walls.
Before long, I’m telling him my wildest wishes and darkest secrets. And it gets harder to care that our worlds couldn’t be any farther apart. Living in the spotlight, I curate images of a perfect life, while he truly makes a difference.
We should slow down or, at the very least, pump the brakes. Foolishly, we race headlong into sinfully inappropriate. I’ve never felt like this about any man. Heart aflutter and more alive than ever before. Most of all, he understands and respects me.
Tom’s the man I never wanted. He doesn’t fit into my life. But now that I’ve had him, I can’t imagine letting him go.
#S.M. West#6ix Loves 5#Romance#Contemporary Romance#Fiction#Anxiety#fear of flying#road trip#Steamy romance
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Mechanized Prayer
The left hand will let the raw moon free
Alive, anew, its sinews will spiral beneath my feet
And its blasphemous cry of pain will be one
Of a great and grueling magnitude
Teeth will disfigure the children left in the dark,
Flayed skins will soak in the essence of illusion
And I will thread them into my crown of eyes,
Gutting the beauty from the world by satellite
Watch me from your tomb of blackened rubber,
For only your snow-white stare do I bend the knee -
Watch me humiliate mankind by mechanized prayer
Metal to flesh, no body can hide from the glean
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[Poem from upcoming collection The Gates of Paranoia]
Copyright © 2016-2023 S.M. | Samael’s Tuesday
#the gates of paranoia#cw dark content#horror poetry#dark poetry#occult horror#surreal horror#poets on tumblr#free verse#poetry#original poem#indie books
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Omid Scoble the phony, lying journalist. Fact about omid is , He makes up his own threads on twitter. I have seen it many times. He will take 2 or 3 of his fake accounts and start a thread. And sometimes compliment himself. Think about that. How delusional omid scobie is. He has many, many fake accounts across S.M. and always throwing shade at the Royal family.
thanks for your submission, anon44!
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Friday 31 August 1838
7 ½
10
fine morning F59° at 9 am breakfast at 9 ½ - packed – déménagé – i.e. having agreed for the 1er of the house opposite (one of the 2 we saw last night) got all our things moved into it – 8/. a day – my own price – the woman asked 10/. has 16/. in the highest season – 2 large lofty excellent bedrooms to the street and 4 small ones behind them opening into an open gallery looking on the Bastan – besides there is an useful place for wood at one end of the gallery – took the little bedroom adjoining mine for salle à manger – and thus likely to be very comfortable – all delighted to get out of Flamants’ dark, smelling place – Left Pierre behind as guide to the servants to Gavarnie and the pic de Bergonz [Bergons] if they chose to get to the latter allowing them (Josephine and George) each a horse for two days – they were to be off immediately after us this morning and sleep at Gavarnie – A- and I take only Charles mounted on a little mule, so that if we go into Spain we shall not have the expensive risk of 3 horses – for every horse not brought back, the value of it to be paid to government + a fine of 500/. .:. each horse in case of accident (stolen by the troops of Don Carlos or S.M. la reine) would cost 100/. official value + 500/. to government + 400 to the owner each of our present little horses being worth from 300/. to 400/. says Charles to whom A-‘s horse belongs and mine belongs to Pierre .:. each horse would cost us 1000/. – no joke – off at 11 ¾ - at 12 ½ pass bridge of Tournebout and get upon the Tourmalet mountain – and soon after good and only view of the Neouvielle – at 1 pass (left) the sentier turning up to the pic du midi – at 1 ¼ good view of pic du midi from the traversing ascent of the Tourmalet – at the top at 1 40 – fine look-down upon the St. Sauvuer mountains as in ascending – the [Mahalat]? of Cauteretz [Cauterets] looks like the roof of a house – on this side (east) look down upon the sources of the Adour (2 or 3 little threads of water soon joined by several others from all sides) and the head of, and what Charles calls the Scala (like the back of the Isle of Wright), and the white rock murailles of the vale de Campan [Campana] – In descending upon the cabane-hameau of Tramesaigues [Tramezaïgues], at 2 ¾, good view up the ravine of the pic de midi for ten minutes till we had passed this little hameau of cabanes – (all good cabanes with cattle-sheds hereabouts) – soon after l’artiguĕ another and still better cabane-hamlet, 18 to 20 cabanes white washed slated or straw thatched with sheds (low and roof covered with sods) and a little farmyard attached – 2 or 3 pretty cascades of the gave Adour, till become a good stream at Grip – alight at the neat little Inn there at 3 20 – the green bottom of the valley and white-washed houses very pretty – from our Inn window
SH:7/ML/E/22/0007
very pretty look upwards towards the Tourmalet along the hill-broken bottom of the valley down which we have passed – a new route traced along the opposite side of the valley to the old road 2 years ago, but given up – off from Grip at 4 ½ - at 5 10 alighted for 5 minutes at the nice, newly-done-up, good church of St. Marie – five minutes from St. M- at 5 25 good view of the pic du midi for ten minutes then no more of it till after having passed thro’ a village and then thro’ the little town of Campan – the valley thickly peopled – St. Marie a little town, but the cure told Charles he had 10,000 souls in his parish including Grip and its dependencies, and for this reason they had enlarged the church – we had observed the loft at the west end fenced off in front by a high wooden grille reminding me of the womens’ gallery in the Jews synagogue I saw in Paris in 1819 – alight at the hotel de France at Bagnères de Bigorre at 6 50 – the hotel full – we have a good double bedded room and a room adjoining for Charles in a private house adjoining the hotel – just walked to the large handsome établissement des bains and took a little turn in the street till 7 ¼ - the fine picturesque tower under repair – no! scaffolding round the top because a clock going to be placed there – very fine beautiful moonlight evening – dinner at 7 25 – excellent soup, mutton cutlets, piece of stewed mutton – a made dish (2 cones of a sort of Saussage [sausage]-meat, very good) roast chicken, potatoes, gateau de riz, and strawberries, peaches, green gages, and macaroons – Charles dined amply on the remains of our dinner we keeping the roast chicken to take away with us tomorrow – gave Charles a tumbler glass full of our good vin ordinaire and had still enough left for his breakfast tomorrow – dinner over at 8 ½ - A- read aloud her little volume by Richard article Bagnères de Bigorre – very fine day – nice and warm and comfortable room and place – charming air this evening
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not too far away - s.m. (final)
a/n: where it finally comes to an end
epilogue
The soft music was flowing through the speakers and into the warm air of the summer night. With the sun having just set a few hours before, a gentle breeze formed, reliving the skin of all the guests, who had been in the sun all day. Stars littered the dark sky, illuminating down on the back yard that was filled with balloons, banners, and twinkling lights.
People stood surrounding the center of the yard, eyes locked on the couple who were standing with adoration filling their eyes. The sparkling ring on her left hand proof of how much love they held for each other. Only happiness could be felt, maybe too much from the buzz that was filling everyone’s veins from the champagne. It was a night to be celebrated, and nothing could stand before that. Not even the storm warning that was said to be the forecast of that day but it ended with not even a drop of rain. It was like fate, the couple belonged together and it was seen at the engagement party.
Now twenty-one-years old, the Canadian singer stood away from the chatter and the music. He was at the edge of the yard, by a gazebo that had been built the summer prior by the groom’s father. It was intertwined with roses and little golden lights as the view looked down at a clearing with a small lake. The trees now looking like tall shadows in the distance as the waves of the lake held the reflection from the sky above.
He was silent, eyes just scanning, and mind not able to conjure a single thought that a year had passed so quickly. Hands shoved into the pockets of his black jeans, a light coat of sweat gathered at the base of his neck causing his curls to stick. The white button up short sleeve he wore was left unbuttoned revealing the black tee underneath and bulged against his biceps. The St. Christopher pendant lie where it did most days, hanging around his neck, placed close to his heart. His lips were pursed and he seemed lost in another world as the sound of cheers and praise from the background faded into silence.
Shawn Mendes, couldn’t fathom how it all happened. How he got to where he was from over a year ago. He had been a wreck for weeks and months unable to sing a single lyric. So many thought he had disappeared or moved off the grid. Fans worried about their idol and the young man they loved so dearly. It took a while but he eventually got through it. He had too for his family, friends, fans, most importantly for himself. He had the rest of his life to live. It was nothing but a struggle, but he had gotten through it like everything else had.
That didn’t change that every time he closed his eyes, he could see or feel her. Constantly like a movie on repeat, he would see how their lives had played out. From the very first time, he had met Y/N, at the age of five. She was four and had stood behind her father’s leg for well over an hour before she spoke to Shawn for the first time. To them being fourteen, sneaking out into the woods down the hill of their houses just asking to get in trouble.
He could see them at sixteen. At the airport, arms wrapped tightly around her before having to depart and not getting to know that feeling for another four years. Finally, he could see all that happened a year ago. Him showing up at her doorstep after those years apart. Those few weeks where it went from taking her to a hockey game to their first kiss. From the night they made love for the first time and when he had gone to the hospital and broke down to his knees. It all was there and with each image, he saw of her smiling and her kissing him, it made his legs shake.
He was pulled away though, from the memories, the mini-movie by a pair of soft lips connecting with the side of his neck. His pulse quickened at the contact and as his eyes gazed down at the figure beside him, he felt his heart jump in his chest because there she was. Y/N Y/L/N was and always would be a sight for sore eyes. Her body wrapped in a white jump suit with spaghetti straps. No surprise she was barefoot, having kicked her heels not even two hours into the event.
Hair tucked behind her ears; it was just as short as it had been a year ago. She had started to like the length and now every few months would go and cut it when it started to grow again. It was curled, shiny, and soft. He knew that by how often his fingers would thread into it. Her necklace, from Shawn now a year ago, lying around her neck. Makeup slightly worn away from the day, her freshly tan skin from the summer glistened because of the humidity. Cheeks slightly flushed and eyelashes fluttering up at him, he was sure. She was the ‘one’.
Shawn couldn’t help the smile that widened across his lips as her arm wrapped around his waist. Handing him the solo cup in her hand, that had his freshly poured drink, she reached up on her tip toes and placed another peck on his neck. “You disappeared, my dad said you wandered over here.”
Like Shawn had said, he had gotten through the struggle that was this beautiful girl almost dying. She had pushed through the surgery and weeks, months later he had still struggled with the fear of it all happening again. He still was scared sometimes, that things would fall apart to their feet again. He was certain she was the love of his life and he couldn’t bear to be left alone without her.
Even then though, he knew he couldn’t constantly be living his life scared she would end up in the hospital again, especially when there was a good chance that would never happen. Shawn deserved that happiness that was craved by so many. The kind that you experience for sharing yourself with another person. At the end of a dark tunnel, she was stood like a light. With every push of her love, she put him back together.
“Yeah, just needed to get away for a few minutes,” Shawn mumbled out a reply, hand wandering to her lower back.
“You missed the grand speech made by my brother and then his very passionate kiss with the bride to be,” Y/N said, a small groan emitting from her mouth.
He chuckled at the small disgust heard in her voice, “They’re cute.”
She shook her head, fingers combing through the back of his fluffy curls, “Nope. James, Demi, and cute are not allowed in the same sentence.”
Another laugh emitted from the singer at the girl wrapped around his torso because it was the same sentence she had said a year ago, when her best friend and brother’s relationship had started kindling. Her words were said in disagreement but a small smile was laced across her lips as her eyes looked up at him with such innocence. “I think you’re going to have to get used to it because in just a few weeks your best friend is going to become Mrs. James Y/L/N.”
“Eh, it’s going to be a horrible wedding,” she shrugged, taking a sip from the champagne full glass in her hand.
“Wow, those are words you love to hear from the maid of honor,” he mumbled teasingly under his breath as he took a drink from his own cup to find that it was beer.
She laughed and as it moved through Shawn’s ears it caused his chest to flutter. Even after a whole year it still affected him that way. Untangling herself from around him, she chugged the rest of her champagne and taking both her empty glass and his solo cup, she placed it on the bench within the gazebo. She turned on her heels, hands tucked behind her back, her eyes trained back on the man she was desperately in love with.
“Fine, they are a little cute,” she admitted, moving closer and closer towards him, taking his hands in hers then leading him up and into the gazebo, “But you know what’s cuter?”
“What?” Shawn asked quizzically, hands finding a place on her hips as her arms connected around his neck.
Y/N pressed her body into his, able to feel his hard figure through the clothing that separated them. She planted a feathery kiss near his jaw, hearing him sigh at the feeling. Hands moving from around his neck, down along his chest, they spalyed across his pecks. His warmth surrounded her and she nibbled onto her lower lip as her eyes stayed locked on his.
“Us,” she whispered.
“Really? You think so?” Shawn teased, trying to distract himself from the warmth that pooled at the base of his stomach.
“Duh,” she laughed, “I mean, yeah, they are cute whatever. But come on they have nothing on us. We not only have been friends for over fifteen years but we have out beat an illness. Also, should I mention, that you are a traveling aspiring artist who is gone for months on end and we still manage to make time for each other? We’re cuter.”
His smile widened, causing his cheeks to ache a little at how adorable his girl was, “I guess, I can’t argue with you on this one.”
“Nope,” she replied, hand moving up to cup his cheek, thumb stroking his jaw lovingly.
Letting out a sigh, his hand squeezed softly at her side, “It’s been quite a year.”
She nodded in agreement but her smile never faltered, “Yeah it has.”
It had been over a year since she had almost died in that hospital. Since she had sent Shawn back to LA with nothing but a video to express her love to him, thinking she was about to die. Since Shawn had scurried back to Toronto and fell apart in the hospital lobby. It had taken almost ten minutes to revive her and get her heart beating again but they did and she had remained stable the rest of the surgery. Dr. Myers had gotten all of the cancer and within hours she had woken up and was responsive. Shawn was the first one to see her and fell to the side of the bed, cradling her cold hand against his face. They had cried and hr had crawled into the bed with her, kissing her and scolding her all at once. Just like that the crisis had disappeared and they started over. Here they were now, together and alive
“I’m so in love with you,” Shawn admitted, the words slipping without a coherent thought to stop him.
Her thumb stopped along his jaw, frozen along his skin. Her eyes were glossed over at this point, staring at him with so much love, Shawn thought he would burst from happiness. Her smile was sweet and he wished for anything to lean in and take it in. All of it. Everything about her.
“I’m so in love with you too.”
His cheeks suddenly became hot and he knew a blush was forming because it didn’t matter how many times he heard those words, it would still make him react this way. He bit onto his lip to hide the grin that was trying to form as his eyes looked away from hers towards the clearing again and the reflection of the stars on the lake.
Silence fell between them and within seconds, Y/N’s gaze had fallen to where his was. She tucked her body into his side and breathed in his cologne, head spinning from the moment. The slow music was louder now, filling both of their ears and in an instant, Shawn felt overwhelmed in the best way possible. His mind began to fill with so many thoughts and he couldn’t find the switch to turn them off. Without him even realizing it, his voice broke the air causing the girl to tense up in his arms.
“Marry me.”
Y/N’s head tilted up to look towards Shawn, revealing her wide eyes and slightly parted lips. Clearly, she wasn’t expecting it just as much as he wasn’t but he didn’t care because it felt right in every way possible. Her arms loosened from around him and she began to sway from side to side and without Shawn’s body supporting her she probably would have fallen.
“W-What?” she stuttered, barely able to get the word out as her hand clamped tightly around Shawn’s bicep.
He knew by the way her large innocent eyes were searching his that she was looking for some sort of sign that this was all a joke. She was trying to pick that out because they were at an engagement party and he had to have been trying to be funny. Though as her face paled, he knew she found no sign on his face that it was a joke. He was in fact being completely serious.
“Marry me,” he repeated.
“Shawn,” she gasped, a breath falling from her lips.
“I know what you’re going to say,” he paused, smiling as a chuckle slipped out of his mouth. His hand fell from around her waist and he took both of her hands in his. He was able to feel the way they trembled in his as he continued, “That it’s too soon and that we have the rest of our lives but here’s the thing, we’ve known each other for over fifteen years and I’m completely sure. Last year I almost lost you, and I know now that whether the rest of our lives is tomorrow or the next sixty years I want to spend it with you. I love you and there’s no one else I want to spend forever with.”
As he finished talking and the last few words fell out into the air, he could see the tears that slipping from her eyes. They slid down on flushed cheeks and into the small smile that was lifting at the corners of her mouth. She was shaking still but not as bad as she had been moments before. She wasn’t able to form words and it caused Shawn’s stomach to stir anxiously waiting for an answer. Then finally, in a single second, it all fell into place sending his heart out of his chest. She nodded hand cupping around her mouth.
He grinned, “Yes?”
“Yes. I’ll marry you,” she barely choked the words out as more tears fell from her glazed over eyes.
Just like that, Shawn’s arms winded around her and pulled her swiftly into his body. His lips sloppily collided with hers and maybe it was the slight buzz from the alcohol or all the love that filled the air but they were sure it was the best kiss they had ever had. As they clung tightly to each other, it didn’t even dawn on Shawn that he didn’t have a ring to slide onto her finger, but that it was hidden in the top drawer of his dresser, under his boxers.
Other than that, they also hadn’t noticed the many lingering stares that had wandered over towards them. They weren’t aware of the curiosity that had formed with every single guest as they looked at another couple who were kissing with smiles on their lips and tears in their eyes. It minutes before they noticed there were two voices yelling at them from across the yard. Y/N’s lips slowly detached from Shawn’s but still lingered as neither of them intended to turn around because they both knew exactly who it was.
“Hey, guys, maybe you should get a room,” James grinned from ear to ear, arm wrapped around Demi’s waist as he looked towards his little sister and friend who seemed caught up in their own little world of happiness.
“And remember to use protection,” Demi yelled after, leaning in her finance’s embrace, laughter falling from them both.
They only laughed harder as the couple had refused to turn and look towards them, but were given the middle finger by none other than Y/N Y/L/N just as she had crashed her lips back against Shawn’s. For some reason, James and Demi knew what had happened at that moment. Y/N and Shawn weren’t sure how but they did and it only heightened the happiness that filled the air.
And as they kissed passionately, clutching onto each other tightly, they knew things were going to always be looking up from there. Things were going to be different from now on. There was going to be no more secrets, no more heart ache, and no more time spent apart. Finally, their wrong timing seemed to click into place and nothing, not even the stars, could change that.
#shawn mendes#shawn mendes imagine#shawn mendes imag#shawn mendes fanfiction#shawn mendes fanfic#my writing#shawn peter raul mendes#shawn mendes angst
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@popularmxnster <3'd for a starter
Wine-colored nails slowly raked against his scalp as she let him get the rest of the rant out. He was going on about every way he messed up earlier this week. When Billy finally paused, Serena let her hand come to rest on the side of his face, guiding him to look at her, "so you didn't get her this time, doesn't mean you won't next time."
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can’t sleep | s.m.
a/n: Finally posting something! Thanks for bearing with my slow writing. I’m really trying to get into the flow of writing since i’m still relatively new so it’ll take a while! as always, feedback is greatly appreciated and i hope you enjoy this cute lil oneshot!
summary: it’s late and you can’t sleep (featuring Shawn being extra as always)
warnings: fluff
w/c: 1.3k
masterlist
–
You had been laying in bed for the past hour, pensive about everything. Sleep was what you so desperately wanted but was also the most out of reach.
You sat up in bed and grabbed the nearest thing you could see, Shawn’s peach hoodie that he constantly wore. You’d be lying if the reason you wore it was solely because of the chilly night.
Throwing the hoodie on in one not-so-swift motion, the sleeves bunched up around your wrist. His scent was laced in the thread of his hoodie. In an instant, you were enveloped in a warm hug of the most comforting smells – a perfect mix of his cologne and natural musk.
With every inhale, his smell gradually filled the air in your lungs and the load that weighed down your heart slowly lightened.
The pitter patter of the rain hitting the window panes created the most calming ambient noises but you still felt uneasy and on edge.
The ticking of the clock seemed inconsistent; one moment time would speed by while the next, time would move so slowly it was almost still.
Your fingers fiddled with the hem of Shawn’s hoodie, as you pulled the hood over your head, hoping that that would somehow make you feel better.
You looked towards the bedside clock – the numbers read 02:10
Beside the table and on the other side of the bed was Shawn. He was hidden under the duvet like a child that was terrible at playing hide and seek. His head peeked out from under sheets and all you could see under the moonlight that shone through the windows was a mess of curls over his eyes and his lips slightly parted as he took in slow and steady breaths.
He looked so peaceful; so calm.
Deciding that you weren’t going to mope around any longer, you got out of the bed and padded quietly towards the kitchen so as to not wake Shawn up from his blissful sleep. As you stood up, Shawn’s hoodie fell to your mid-thigh.
You put a kettle of water on the stove for it to boil and found a chamomile tea bag, hoping that it would do the trick and send you back to sleep.
While you waited for the water to boil, you propped yourself up onto the marble countertop. The marble was cold to the touch and you shivered when your bare skin came into contact with it. You hung your head low, letting your hair fall over your entire face as you swung your legs freely.
Out of the blue, you heard footsteps behind you.
You lifted your head tentatively and looked back. The sight of Shawn standing in the doorway, a stupidly cute grin plastered on his face greeted you. His eyes weren’t completely open but he looked as angelic as ever.
He took a moment to realize you were looking right at him and once he did, he straightened up his posture and leaned on the doorframe, using his right elbow to support him, putting on a faux-suave look. He furrowed his brows and dipped his head slightly just so he could look up at you through his lashes. His lips were pursed, very Zoolander-esque, and definitely the cherry on the top for this bizarre situation.
You bellowed with laughter, which could’ve possibly woken up your neighbors at this ungodly hour but you didn’t care. Shawn’s facial expression melted into one of indescribable tenderness. He came over to where you were at on the countertop and wrapped his arms around your hips.
With his head buried in your chest, he murmured, his voice laced with concern, “What are you doing up? It’s late,”
“Couldn’t sleep,” you replied simply.
He nodded.
Still sitting on the countertop, your chin rested on the top of his head, his curls lightly tickling your skin.
You breathed in his smell, this time from him and not his hoodie. Comfort and security filled your body.
You felt safe in his arms; felt like nothing and no one could ever harm you, no matter what.
You squeezed him tighter and brought him closer to you. He looked up to face you, his brown eyes glimmering earnestly. You dipped your head down to give him a light kiss on the lips. Looking down at him after the peck, his eyes remained closed and his soft pink lips were set in a permanent grin.
How did I end up so lucky? You wondered
“Let’s dance,” He abruptly suggested, Voice deep and raspy from being asleep just moments ago.
“Wh –”
Before you had the chance to question anything, he pulled you down the marble countertop held your hand, leading you to an open area outside the kitchen.
With a few taps on his phone, music started to fill every corner of the room and he grabbed your waist, pulling you towards himself.
Feeling like you were back at those middle school dances, you shook your head and chuckled loudly at that thought but decided to play along. Your hand rested on his arm while the other was being held by his other hand. You swayed with him to the quiet strumming of the guitar, nuzzling your head into the nook of his neck.
“I’m so confused but I like this,” You said absentmindedly.
“Well, I like you,” He candidly said.
Settle down with me
Cover me up
Cuddle me in
Your ears pricked up when you realized “Kiss Me” by Ed Sheeran was being played over the sound system.
“It’s 2 o’clock in the morning and it’s raining. Do you really want to be listening to romantic Ed Sheeran songs?” You questioned, abruptly stepping back to look at Shawn.
Your head cocked to one side and you lifted your eyebrows as if you were demanding an answer.
His eyes widened and he gasped comically. As he brought his palm to his chest, his expression changed to one of exaggerated hurt as he defensively answered with a strong “Yes!”
“Too bad, then,” you said gleefully as you slipped out of Shawn’s arms and headed towards the speaker. Forgetting how much taller Shawn was compared to you and that every two steps you took he could easily take with one stride, he caught up to you in no time.
Tackling you by the back, he grabbed you by the waist to hold you back. His arms snaked effortlessly around your waist and you struggled against his grip but to no avail.
“I just want to put on something less soppy!” You protested.
“But there’s nothing wrong with soppy!” He exclaimed.
At this point, the both of you were being far too loud for 2am. It was a mix of your grunts while you tried to pry his arms off your waist and Shawn trying to defend his choice in music.
Too caught up in fighting over music, you both forgot about the kettle that was on the stove. As if it wanted to put a stop to the commotion, the kettle started to whistle.
Your heart jumped when you heard the sudden whistle but Shawn, oh Shawn, he physically jumped and let out a small yelp.
Shawn’s hands flew to his mouth immediately after that yelp rolled off his tongue, his eyes wide with embarrassment. Bashfully, his gaze flickered downwards and his cheeks flushed all shades of pinks and reds.
The kettle continued to whistle.
Shawn’s gaze remained locked on the ground.
“Fine,” you relented, “we’ll play Ed… But you gotta go handle that kettle now,”
“On it!” Shawn playfully snapped his fingers and made finger guns at you as he spun on his heels and disappeared into the kitchen.
How did I end up so lucky? You wondered yet again.
#shawn mendes fluff#shawn mendes#shawn mendes fic#Shawn Mendes Imagine#shawn mendes fanfic#shawn mendes x reader#shawn mendes blurb#shawn mendes fanfiction#shawn mendes oneshot#shawn#my writing#shawn mendes au
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100 seconds - s.m
an imagine ; y/n and her bff get stumble across a fight after a party, and y/n ends up comforting an injured shawn.
-potentially a 2-3 part imagine.
-warning : contains violence, and mild discussions about sexual stuff.
-flirty/badboy Shawn?? Uh-Idunno
- please excuse any typos and especially mess-ups in the tenses, i'll be editing this later. also I am absolutely the worst at action scenes so um maybe this is weiRd.
- this is only in small letters for the time being so don't attack me plsthx
-
a drunken flush envelopes your cheeks as you and your best friend exit the pub through the back door, arms linked with each of you holding onto a bottle of cheap alcohol.
the back alley reeks but you two decide to push through, your other friends inconveniently got stuck at the front doors where a massive commotion was taking place - something about the cops raiding the place, but it all went into one ear and disappeared through the other. both of you were clearly too intoxicated to understand the complexity of the situation, the only thing on your mind was how wild of an 'i-almost-died' experience it would be and that it would just be one you could tell everyone about for shits and giggles.
"the guy who played tonight...was sooo hot," your best friend hiccups. both of you hobble through the alley animatedly chatting.
"mmhmm, did you see his arms?" you add and she throws her head back groaning in approval.
"the way he held that guitar," she bites her lip giving you a side glance before giggling "he would be good for you."
you pull back and look at her inquisitively out of genuine curiosity, "what in the world is your logic behind this?"
she sports a dead pan expression and scoffs, stopping in her spot making you stop walking as well. she flails her arm and rolls her eyes "because you're a bottom gal, and he defo is a top duh."
"and you're not bottom?"
"not in a bajillion years hunny nuh-uh," she shakes her head dramatically.
"how are you even so sure i'm a bottom?" you throw your arms up in the air in exasperation. she boops your nose before patting you on the head "come on, you're just too cute to be top - or are you secretly a sexy dominatrix you sly hoe?" she wiggles her eyebrows at you in a suggestive way, and you push her away from you.
"okay i'm done discussing this with you."
"oh we are far from done, we'll be having a full blown discussion about your love life at breakfast tomorrow babe. or lunch.or whenever we're not too hungove-" her rambling is interrupted by aggressive voices.
"you think you can mess with me mendes?!" a gruff voice yells, sending the both of you jolting in your spots.
you decide to hide behind a trash can before the group spots the both of you, you pull your best friend hastily with you and she lands onto the ground with a thud. she yelps in pain, rubbing her foot which seems to be hurt. and you wince at the loud noise.
"you can't expect to show up at my place and throw me under the bus, this is all your planning-" the man stops yelling. it's dead silent for a few minutes before he speaks up again "did you hear that boys?"
he stops and a chorus of low 'yes'-es and 'yep'-s resound through the area.
"search the place, i'll take care of him."
you shoot your best friend an apologetic look, glancing at her injured foot before looking back at her again, "i'm sorry." you whisper.
her lip trembles and tears pool in her eyes. she only nods at you, not trusting her voice enough to utter even a single syllable. the sound of a loud impact and a deep 'oomph' makes you both flinch. your friend is shaking now, breathing deeply. "oh my gosh," her voice cracks as footsteps near you and she breaks into tears, silently sobbing. she closes her eyes, trying to compose herself. but the heavy footsteps on the ground are only getting closer.
your friend tries to crawl away quietly, silently beckoning you to follow. you take a deep breath and follow, your mind has gone into shock and you haven't quite comprehended everything yet. adrenaline runs through your veins, and you're relying purely on instinct to make it through. and oh gosh, that's all you want at this point. just to make it through this horrible nightmare. to make it through the night and wake up with a deadly hangover having a full blown discussion about your love life over breakfast with your best friend.
all of a sudden your best friend screams. you look to your left to make eye contact with a pair of bleak eyes glinting with dangerous intentions, "gotcha mousey." the man's mouth lifts up to form a smile you can only describe with the word greasy. a shiver of disgust runs down your spine and your best friend let's out a wail that rings through the alley.
in the blink of an eye, she's being dragged away. the man who was previously being beaten up takes the opportunity of the diversion to free himself and knock out his attacker.
he makes his way to you guys - kicking, punching, biting through the myriad of riled up men who try to take hits at him.
you stare in shock, recognizing him as tonight's guitarist.
soon he's reached the man holding your best friend as she flails in his grip and knocks him out in a frenzy of raged hits. sweat drips from his forehead, his shirt is torn into threads. it seems to be bothering him so he takes it off and continues fending off the flurry of attackers. he looks back at you, spares a glance at your best friend who is now on the ground her head tucked into her knees, and looks at you intently "run!" he commands you, "go! take her!"
you scramble to your feet, helping your best friend up and you guys stagger away. he sprints backwards, following you guys all the while taking out everyone in his path. one by one, the numbers dwindle and soon you're back on the ground, your friend clutching her foot in pain.
he approaches you as the coast seems to have been cleared. you gulp, "thank you."
he nods at you and glances at your best friend. "you should take her to the hospital. go down a couple of blocks and dial an emergency number it's not safe he-,"
"watch out!" you sputter, as a man hits him over the head, sending him tumbling over and goes on to punch him.
you grab the nearest thing you find and hit the unknown man on the back. his attention flicks to you but you're faster, you throw him down easily as he seems to be dazed - most probably on drugs and you punch him continuously until he's doubled over, groaning in pain.
when you're done with him, you glance down at your bloodied and busted fists, and then back at the man.
you did that.
you couldn't believe your eyes, your brain races a thousand miles a minute, but you try to compose yourself, you have to get out.
you hastily pull out your phone, dialing an emergency number. you explain the situation to the lady on the other end.
"an officer will be with you in a few minutes. help is on the way ma'am please wait. try checking up on the injuries, of your friends and the severity of them."
you rush over to your best friend in haste to check up on her. she shakes her head signalling that she is fine. "check on him." she tilts her head towards the guitarist "he's in much worse shape."
you run over to him, falling to your knees. a bleeding wound on the cheek and a busted lip grace his otherwise spotless face. his breathing is shallow and his eyes are hooded. it seems like he's having a difficult time focusing. you place a hand on his chest out of concern.
"can you hear me?"
"yep...crystal clear," he breathes out letting out a cry of pain and clutching his stomach.
you grab your phone speaking into it "my friend is okay but... this guy he's, oh my gosh he's not okay."
"just talk to him, try to keep him awake and responding till the paramedics get there."
you nod to yourself before placing your phone on the ground and turning your attention back to the guy.
"hey, hey!" you hit him on his good cheek as his eyelids flutter. he's floating within consciousness and losing it. you look into his eyes "you gotta stay awake. c'mon talk to me."
he nods, licking his lips and gulping. he takes a deep shaky breath. "wh-ats your name?"
"it's y/n."
"yours?" you ask him, your hand rests on his cheek and you bite your bottom lip nervously.
"shawn...mendes."
you nod, he shakily lifts a hand to tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ears. "you're pretty."
you have the urge to laugh out loud. "are you trying to hit on me when you might be dying?"
"i know i'm not sweetie, it just hurts like shit," he lets flashes you a little smile "even if i was, wouldn't you fulfill a dying man's wish and kiss him?"
"i'm sure i'm only a psychotic dying man's wish right now,i just finished partying,i've rolled around on the ground, knocked a guy out and i'm pretty sure my make up melted off hours ago."
he chuckles before wincing, but goes on anyway "lucky for you i am that psycho."
you roll your eyes and a pregnant pause passes.
"thank you again." you whisper.
"you're welcome, but i just kinda wanna go to sleep, please." his eyelids close momentarily before opening again to look at you.
panic rushes through you, "no no no, look let's count down a hundred seconds okay? you know like a new year's count down huh? come on stay with me."
you grow increasingly frustrated but he only smiles through his pain, and his next words leave you contemplating if you should be relieved or be rolling your eyes at him.
"a hundred seconds?" he smirks, "baby, with you i wouldn't mind more."
"i told you he's a top, sweetie."
-
(to be continued- maybe?)
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A Pumpkin Spiced Suicide Attempt
a poem
Sharp, pungent, acrid, acidic apples; the taste of fall (the death of summer)- not pumpkin- not sweet as the birth of Venus in oil paint, not cherry, not blood, but red, blemished and
Bruised like broken bones, bitter, beaten, and bloody, battered skin hanging on by a sinew-ous thread- flesh punctured by the perfectly manicured rivulets of
[The] cuticle of a plant is a hydrophobic lipid bilayer that functions as a means of protecting the young epidermis layer from outer environmental stressors-
The basics, the birth, the beginnings, the Fundamentals of Biology- of botany; a subject on which I should have expertise
As claimed by the 29 dependents, the ones who offer no tax benefits, flourishing green in my dorm room as if it were still summer, as if Summer wasn’t trying to die-
29 growing, 29 living, 29 photosynthesizing, 25 with leaves, 7 with flowers, 4 with thorns, 1 with fruit- not pumpkin- but
Apple cheeks flushed in Pink Lady, in Red Delicious, under mascara tear tracks flowing like oil paint, I wait for the 3000 mg to take hold and close my eyes, the start of fall, yes,
(but the death of Summer.)
-s.m.
#tw//#tw suicide#tw// suicide attempt#tw// suicidal thoughts#poem#poet#poetry#poems#poets#young poet#young poets#suicide#depression#seasonal depression#spoken word#spoken word poetry#spoken word poem#writerscreed#writers creed#writers on writing#writers of tumblr#writers on tumblr#writers community#creative writing#original writing#prose#apples#biology
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Daily Dose - Part 10 (S.M. Imagine)
Pairing: Scott McCall x Sick! Reader
Warnings: vomit, death talk, angst, not proofread, scott mccall hurting
A\N: we’re down to the wire here folks, we’re almost done with dd. ): seeing that made me a lil sad
Word Count: 1869
“Let’s do something.”
“We are doing something.”
By that, I meant we were sitting on Scott’s couch, trying to decide what to watch on Netflix. I found myself tucked under the warmth of Scott’s arm, my legs curled up under me. There was a blanket over the two of us, giving some extra heat. The worst of the season hadn’t even hit yet, but I found myself getting cold a lot. Good thing Scott was like my own personal heater. I wasn’t sure what to call us at this point. It felt weird to say Scott was my boyfriend, but at this point was it far from the truth? We kissed. We cuddled. There was a long list of things I would do for him (take that however you want).
I found myself gradually moving back into the McCall household, but Melissa didn’t know about our kinda-almost-dating status. Neither did my parents. And I don’t think either of them would be happy. It’s one thing if you’re dating, but it’s another if you’re two teenagers living in the same house right next door to each other. I don’t think my dad would be too thrilled about that. We weren’t hiding it, but we weren’t exactly making out on kitchen counters for Melissa to see.
“No,” Scott shifted his position on the couch so he was facing me, “I mean let’s go out. Like a date.”
My thumb hovered over the OK button on the remote. I moved my thumb over, muted the TV and twisted my body to look at Scott, “A what?”
“A...a date?” Scott looked just as confused as much, but it was an endearing obliviousness.
“Uh…” I laughed. I wrapped a loose red thread from the blanket around my index finger and pulled at it. The thread snapped free, “I don’t know about that.”
Scott leaned to one side and dug in his back pocket.
“Scott? What are you--”
Scott pulled out a folded sheet of notebook paper. I could tell exactly what it was because of the purple gel pen bleeding through. I threw my head back and let out a laugh, “Seriously? Why are you still carrying that?”
“Because,” Scott leaned over and grabbed a pen off the end table, “We have to update it.”
“Or we could just throw it away,” I leaned over to try to pluck the list out of his hand. Scott was quicker than me and held the paper just out of reach.
“Scott! Give it here!”
“Number one, a friend’s house,” Scott crossed out an item on the list, “Done. Number two, a sleepover, also done. Fatburger or any place with real food and a diner I guess are both done. In the arms of someone I love--”
“Okay now I’m really going to--” I tried to grab the paper from behind Scott’s head, but again, he moved it out of the way. I threw my leg over his lap and sat down on his legs. I reached for the paper again but Scott moved it to the other hand with a wicked grin.
“Scott!”
Scott’s free arm went around my waist and the next thing I knew we were spinning. With a scream, I landed on my back and sank into the couch cushions. Scott hovered over me, keeping my arms pinned above my head.
I cocked an eyebrow, “Werewolf perk?”
Scott shrugged, “Lacrosse perk.”
Two could play it that game. There was no way I was winning this one with strength, so I had to rely on a different tactic. I lifted my pelvis up and wrapped my legs around Scott’s waist. When Scott looked down to see what I was doing, I craned my neck up and planted my lips onto his. Scott deepened the kiss but didn’t let my hands go.
“Hello? Is anyone--oh, my god.”
The loud smack of Scott and I’s lips breaking apart was loud enough to fill the awkward silence left in the air. Melissa stood at the foot of the couch, in her pink scrubs, her purse still on her shoulder and her mouth open in absolute shock.
“Mom--”
“Melissa--”
“So this,” Melissa gestured between the two of us, “This is what happens when I leave you two alone?”
“No!” I defended, “Not at all! N-no!”
Melissa crossed her arms and looked between the two of us, waiting for an explanation.
“I mean,” Scott rubbed the back of his neck, “Not until recently.”
“Scott!” I hissed at him.
“How recently?” Melissa demanded to know.
“Um,” I went back in my head, “Two weeks?”
Scott nodded, “Something like that.”
Melissa looked up and shook her head, “Unbelievable. I can’t believe--”
I was sure Melissa was going to kick me out. I had ruined everything. I stood up, figuring the next thing she would do is pack my bags and throw me out, “Melissa, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean--”
Melissa held a hand up and I knew that as the universal sign to shut up. So, I clamped my mouth shut. Melissa’s eyes were shut, her hands were pressed together and held in front of her mouth, “I just can’t believe it took you this long. And two weeks to tell me, god, I mean I’m all for a slow burn but Jesus, if you burned any slower the fire would’ve been out by now.”
Scott looked just as shocked as I felt on the inside, “Mom.”
“What?” Melissa shrugged as she headed towards the stairs, “I’m just telling the truth. Decide what you want for dinner, I’m gonna go take a long nap.”
Once we heard Melissa’s door close upstairs, I collapsed on the couch with my face in my hands. Scott burst out into boisterous laughter.
“It’s not funny, Scott,” I groaned, “I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life.”
“It’s fine, it could’ve been worse,” Scott shrugged, “A lot worse.”
And he was right. It could’ve been worse.
It got a whole lot worse.
I held my arms out to steady myself as I got off of Scott’s bike. Scott placed his arm under my elbow, keeping me from toppling over, “You okay?”
I nodded, though that was far from the truth. I figured (more like hoped) that I was just tired because it was finals season. But the stress of finals didn’t explain the heaviness in my body, the swelling of my ankles and the fact I needed to pee at least three times during each class.
But yeah, finals. That was it.
I didn’t want Scott to worry. I knew it was going to pass eventually, I just had to wait it out.
I mustered up a smile, “I’m just tired, that’s all.”
Scott frowned but didn’t prod any further.
It didn’t pass. Not this time.
Instead, I woke up at 1:23 AM feeling like someone was jabbing a hot poker through my sides. The pain burned through my entire abdomen. It paralyzed me and trapped me in my bed. Even the slightest movement sent white-hot pain radiating through my body. Hot tears leaked down my cheeks as I stared up at the ceiling, willing the pain to go away.
Please, please don’t do this.
I was frozen on my back. The longer I laid there, the worse I felt. I felt nausea build up in my stomach and I knew that if I threw up I wouldn’t be able to move. I would probably choke on my vomit and die. But I couldn’t move. My body shut down, it was as if my head was somewhere else while my body had been tossed into a bonfire.
I managed to turn my head to the side before dinner came right back up. I sobbed. By the looks of it, something was horribly, horribly, wrong.
“Sc-Scott,” I called out, weakly hoping he would hear me, “Scott!”
Time moved way too slow. I threw up again and at this point, there was nowhere for it to go so I was basically laying in a pool of my own upchuck. My crying made my body shake, my body shaking made pain rip through me, and the pain ripping through me made me cry harder. I was sure I was going to die here. Melissa and Scott wouldn’t find me til the morning. Scott would come in my room, that grin on his face and try to wake me up. Then he would realise something was awfully wrong. His body would collapse. He’d shake me and beg for me to wake up, but it would be too late. It would be too much. Too much like Allison.
“Scott!” I cried out, “Sc-Scott, help! Help me! Me-Melissa? Please! So-someone!”
I heard quick and heavy footsteps in the hall. The hall light flicked on and there stood a shadow in my doorway.
“Y/N!” Scott rushed to my side, dread all over his face, “Y/N, what’s wrong, what happened?”
I tried to shake my head, “I ca-can’t move. Everything hurts, I can’t move.”
Scott frantically looked around, his hands hovering over my body, trying to decide how he could help.
“Okay, Y/N, what should I--”
I didn’t hear what he said because I hurled again.
And again.
And again.
“Mom!” I had never heard so much fear in Scott’s voice, “Mom, help!”
I wanted to reach for him, to comfort him and tell him everything was okay. That this would pass. But I had never felt anything like this before. This was new territory I didn’t recognise. I couldn’t tell where I was, let alone if I would make it out of here.
“Scott,” I wasn’t sure if Melissa would get here in time, “Scott, something’s wrong.”
“I know,” Scott’s hand brushed over my forehead and down the back of my head, “I know, I know, I know. Mom! Mom!”
Scott was looking towards the door, but my eyes never left him. I wanted to remember every detail about him. Sound started to dull until Scott’s shouts were muffled together.
“Scott,” I tried to get his attention. My eyelids were getting too heavy to keep open.
“No, no, no, Y/N,” I felt Scott’s hands on either side of my face and gently patted my cheeks, trying to keep me away, “Hey, Y/N, please, stay with me, baby, please.”
“Scott,” Scott was blurry through my tears, “Scott, I’m scared.”
“It’s okay,” Scott pressed his lips to my forehead as if that could save me from my fate, “It’s okay, I’m right here. I’m right here.”
“I don’t want to die,” The weight of my words hung heavy in the air. It was the first time I had ever said it out loud. I put on this front that I was okay with my eventual death, but I wasn’t. I wasn’t ready to let go, “I don’t want to die, please, don’t let me die, I don’t want to go, Scott, please, I don’t want to die, I’m scared.”
“You’re not going anywhere,” Scott was trying to stay strong but I heard his voice break, “I got you. I got you.”
Those words sucked me into a dark tunnel I couldn’t outrun.
“I got you.”
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