#your not special cause yours has a gay cop in it
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Companions on social media
Cait; Posts gym thirst traps and videos of her working out or getting into fistfights. Can be found in the comments and DMs of women, gay or otherwise. Lots of activity in sobriety and self-help communities. Doesn’t have a lot of followers, but does fundraiser streams for a week every three months she's sober. The money goes to child abuse prevention foundations. Her most recent charity streams had her trying to get all achievements on Just Dance after someone donated 10k requesting it.
Codsworth; self-help videos for people struggling to take care of themselves. How to tidy up, how to take effective breaks, what needs to be cleaned in a house and what supplies you need...very useful, very popular with college students and teens. Once posted a video of him going at wasps with a chainsaw and gained a million subs overnight.
Curie; children's educational YouTube channel that's, somehow, more popular with young adults. Science experiments gone wrong. Think Jackass and Mythbusters hosted by a tiny French woman who approaches everything with the joy and whimsy of My Little Pony. Her most popular videos are her 100k subscriber specials, a series where she goes ghost and cryptid hunting to disprove them and demonstrate the fraudulence you can find behind such things.
Danse; has a Facebook for work purposes. It has a profile photo only because Haylen insisted. Fears the internet deeply, thinks its the closest humanity can get to staring into the void and seeing something blink. Unbeknownst to him, there's a viral video of him teaching a workout regimen to trainees. The comment sections are pure thirst. All of his coworkers know and made an oath to never speak of it.
Deacon; Is the one who snuck into training and got that video. Posted it to r/NextFuckingLevel with 🥵🥵🥵 for a caption. Owns several large meme accounts, all with distinct personalities and lives. Someone tried to dox him after suspicions, but found all accounts had different IPs and info. He's just that good. His Facebook changes profile photo every. Single. Day. He consumes an absurd amount of audio books. Drops CRAZY money on charity streams to make the host do weird shit, like 100% Just Dance. Probably sells feet pics.
Dogmeat; The internet's darling. Nick Valentine's dog who doesn't help with catching bad guys, but with far more important things; Dogmeat cuddles and plays with victims at the scene or in court. Also trained in search and rescue. Much of Dogmeat's page is just Nick sharing important information (hotlines, self-defense, survival tips, et cetera) while petting or playing with Dogmeat. Kind of a McGruff the Crime Dog vibe.
Gage; Facebook that he uses to cyberbully cop pages and Craigslist to offer his...unconventional services (pretending to be your boyfriend at family gatherings to cause drama). His pet lizard, an Argentine Tegu, has an Instagram with 3k followers. The Tegu often wins pet competitions and Gage posts the awards captioned with 🖕🏻💚🦎💚🖕🏻. Works at an amusement park, posts tell-all confessions on Reddit.
MacCready; Facebook with friends and family, posts a lot of Duncan. His YouTube history is videos for Duncan. Lots of Curie's videos. Mac has a Craigslist and LinkedIn, does odd jobs when he isn't working as a security guard at a shooting range. Activite in communities about comics, shows, and video games. Sometimes he'll post a theory about a show or comic and he's usually right. Really enjoys the meltdowns of fandoms when the media takes a nasty turn, even if he's also betrayed.
Nick; Ellie runs Dogmeat's page, Nick just does the talking. As for Nick himself, has some pages for his work (that Ellie also manages) and a Facebook profile to stay in touch with friends and family. Much like Danse, consumes media offline—except for poetry. Most of his screen time is spent on Poetry.com, one of those people that leave comments. He likes how the internet makes information and art accessible. Very peaceful and wholesome internet time.
Hancock; The void that Danse is scared of. Also does streams, but not only for fundraisers. Streams high. Streams himself trying to find his way back to his apartment late at night. Always end up in a fast food joint, trying to convince the workers to unionize. Twitter shitposter until a politician needs cyberbullying. Organizes protests. Extremely active in Massachusetts' political scene, his fans are a force to be reckoned with. Has fistfought his own fans before. Occasionally cancels himself to prove a point. Makes mock apology videos whenever another celeb/influencer fucks up.
Preston; Park ranger and community organizer. Uses Facebook and TikTok to appeal to all ages. Is unfairly good at TikTok dances. Posts safety tips, upcoming event information, etc. Does a lot of work with Dogmeat and Nick. Posts bodycam footage of him arresting people, like shutting down fire-themed gender reveal parties, or poachers. Not a lot of followers, but the bodycam footage goes viral on subreddits like r/Instant_Karma.
Piper; a journalist and blogger. Posts videos of her political rants and makeup/hair routine. Joins Hancock in politician cyberbullying. Makes commentary essays and videos, sometimes book reviews. Appears on podcasts. Her media presence is decently known, but mild. She tries to keep herself distant from it. Despite this, has a good-sized following who appreciate the lack of parasociality. Her most famous video is her trying to find the best coffee spots in Boston.
X6-88; security guard for the Massachusetts Institute of Technology who got stuck running the Twitter when the last guy got arrested on weed charges. Piper keeps DMing for an interview and he keeps blocking her accounts. He has LinkedIn for work. Half of it is redacted and involves NDAs. No other media presence except for one thing; he's an infamous esports cryptid. Across a few different shooter games, a high-rank player called X6-88 (its just his first initial and the numbers on his security badge) fucking curbstomps everyone in the match. He has never died or missed a shot. Never speaks in chat, never in team chat. He's a legend among gamers. For him, he's just relaxing on a Friday night, keeping his senses sharp. Doesn't realize there are compilation videos of streamers raging at him.
#fallout 4#fo4#paladin danse#preston garvey#piper wright#nick valentine#robert joseph maccready#john hancock#X6-88#porter gage#companions react#i rlly liked making this this was fun#im probably going to do more of these
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Ghosts in the Graveyard *
𝙿𝙰𝙸𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙶𝚂: Ghost!Stenny x Reader.
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𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙽𝙾𝚄𝙽𝚂: None. Fem implied.
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𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙶𝚂: MDNI. Mentions of death/torture.
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𝚆𝙲: 1.6K
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𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙴𝚂: This is my first Halloween special, + first time writing something slightly spicy!! Also I haven’t written in a while, and I know it’s past Halloween. Enjoy!!
The dark graveyard rings with silence, but it speaks for thousands. Old creaky trees, dark clouds, and a bright moon that shone down to lead your way. It was as if it it was leading you, wanting to help you to find the graves you were looking for.
You came for two people in specific.
Kenny Mcormick and Stan Marsh.
Three or four years ago, the two boys went missing after reportedly running away. Some say they were massacred by wolves. Others say they were kidnapped and tortured. One things for sure, no matter how many bodies the cops claim to be theirs, they never are.
Everyone knows this. Kenny didn’t have brown hair. Even if his parents don’t remember. He was forgettable and vague but not to the point you forget something so obvious. Stan didn’t wear his school ID everywhere he went. In fact, he burned the thing the moment the school gave it to him in drunken recklessness. The ID they found was burnt, sure, but when Stan was done with his, it was a few pieces of ash.
Stan Marsh was an interesting boy, one only a few people could find the words to explain. He was a mysterious boy. One moment he’d be fine the next he’d listening to The Cure and crying about his girlfriend to his now late friend, Kyle
When he wasn’t crying or getting drunk, he was getting into whatever trouble he could find with his friends. Many a time people saw his mother getting him from the police station. Though, weeks before his disappearance, he hadn’t caused trouble at all. Actually, people saw a spike in his grades and his amount of smiling.
Thing was, he got quiet. Horribly quiet. Poor kid wouldn’t even talk to his own mother in full sentences. Only person who talked to?
Kenny McCormick. Dirty minded, dumb, weed addicted. When he was alive he would fight anyone who called him out on his everlasting addiction but it was there and it was obvious. He couldn’t go a day without getting high and his non addiction gave withdrawal symptoms when he didn’t have weed in his system for more than a day or two. It was sad, really.
Other than getting high and fucking the entire cheerleading team, Kenny really was a caring person who would do anything for his friends. He had a sister, who, is in middle school now, but still mourns his death. His parents are dead, and his older brother is either on the streets or in his grave. Nobody remembers the Mccormicks. Other than Karen’s girlfriend or just friend who hasn’t come to the realization that she might be gay, nobody else visits their graves but Karen.
They say that if you visit the graveyard with Kenny’s old parka or a small bag of weed you’d be spared, but nobody has ever found his raggedy orange jacket so they didn’t know if that was true. Same with Stan. Show up with his old blue beanie or booze, he’d let you go without a thought. Just dump it into the lake and minutes later his spirit wasn’t floating straight.
That’s where you come in. You had known the two when you first came to South Park, getting close to the two specifically.
Sure Kyle was a sweet guy and you’d been with him for a little bit, but he was a hopeless romantic, and you lost interest only a few months later. Kenny and Stan made you feel some type of way. Kenny’s teasing, Stan’s edge and level of patheticness just…made you shiver. In the good way, of course.
You’d had a crush on them for a good while, and not just one, but both at the same time. Dreaming of them holding you and kissing you and— anyway, they were gone. And you still weren’t totally believing that. They’d show up for you, surely. Both boys loved being around you!
But here you were. Only person with the blue beanie, and only person with the orange parka. Ready to meet your lost loves. (That— weren’t really your loves— but, you’ll meet them anyway.)
You step up to the grave and watch as the bugs scurry off. Something was already here with you. The first one up was Kenny. Setting the parka down neatly folded. the thought that you didn’t exactly know what to do popped in like that and out just as fast. As long as you could see your boys, nothing else mattered.
The wind sent a shiver down your spine, and you took it as a sign to start your little séance.
“Kenny…I heard you show up for everyone else. You— scare them away— or whatever, but, I don’t want that. I want to see you. To talk to you, maybe? I don’t know.”
The doubt had already filled your head. Did he even ever like you? Did Stan? Were you even a small thought as they were dying? What if you couldn’t even convince him to show up? Too many possibilities, too short of a Halloween.
“I miss you, yknow. Quite a bit. Everyday I miss walking past your house after school and seeing you work in the yard or playing with Karen because you couldn’t be inside. I miss seeing you behind the school getting wasted or high or with a girl for gods sake. I just—“
And right as you were about to start talking, piercing cold hands slid from your waist down to your hips, then the feeling was gone.
If it’s not Kenny, another really horny ghost was around.
“Was— Was that you? Are you here? Kenny? Whatever— just…I’m sorry I couldn’t help. Or be there. Or even die with you. It should’ve been me. If I hadn’t hung up on Stan— or if I had walked home with you— none of this would have happen—“
“There’s no point in saying “had”, doll.”
That stupid sly voice spoke, from up in a tree.
“You’ve had my attention since you stepped foot in this damn graveyard. Always will. The hottest piece of ass!”
He laughed, the ghostly figure floating down from a tree. It was indeed Kenny. (Not that you ever had any doubt.) Except, he was a pale blue and slightly transparent, with a slight aura of orange. His left eye was missing, gone along with his left forearm and two fingers on his right hand. His white “wife-beater” was torn on the bottom and some on the top. With small streaks of blood and maybe some dirt here and there, too.
His sweet old eyes were still soft but had no pupils, so most of telling how he was feeling came from his tone. Cute, bruised, marks, scars, anything lined his cheeks faintly. Those small little chin dimples still rested, though, under the sly smirk. He was already checking you out, and you just found out he was here.
“Kenny!”
You squeal, running to him. He turned opaque, arms wrapping around you with excitement and joy. Those arms… they always had your attention. Lanky but not totally skinny, toned but not completely buff, a good amount of muscle and a good amount of bone. Anyone would just call him skin and bone but they don’t know him like you do.
“Hey sugar!”
Kenny said with a light chuckle, holding you close. He loved your body, being much bigger than you. So small…easy to hold…easy to love…
“Yknow, is it just me, or have you gotten even more beautiful after my death? Oh honey that ass…”
He gave it a playful slap, causing your face to flush even more.
“My beauty…” Long slender fingers met the start of your thighs, lifting you up with ease so he could hold you. He made little suggestive motions, but never made a move.
“You’d like to be in this position with me more, hm? I know you would. How dirty!”
“Oh go easy on ‘em, Kenny. They’ve only seen you for the first time in what- four years? I don’t care enough to remember..”
A deeper voice rang, and something in your mind registered as your back was met with a chest. Kenny flips you around, turning you into the same position with Stan.
“Stan…”
“Y/N.”
Dark blue and piercing eyes started into yours, almost like he could see your very soul floating about. His dirty bleached hair rest in his shoulders. The black roots has spread like fungi out from under his hat, which he put on your head. The scars along his face from certain…childhood…events were more slight in death, but still hot as fuck.
Stan had more meat on his bones, surprisingly, and was a bit more buff than Kenny, but still not a body builder. You could feel the rough and calloused hands on your cold thighs, squeezing ever so slightly.
He leans his head forward, raising and eyebrow.
“I’d say take a picture…but, well, you know, don’t you sweetheart?”
His voice lowers, face getting even closer. You could feel Kenny’s own lips already latched to your neck. His hands moved your hair away from it so he could have more access and sucked. What happened to them when they died? Maybe they’re just taking advantage of the fact someone came to visit them that they knew, or…they really liked you.
“You smell nice…did you get all dolled up for us? Wanted to see us so bad? Impress us? Just like you did with those skimpy little outfits in school? How pathetic…come on, hon…”
Stan degrades, laughing as his teeth met your bottom lip. He bit, pulling it away and letting it make a small snapping noise when it retracted
“Did you miss me? I sure missed you.”
Usually Stan was more on the quiet side. In the few times you’d kissed either of them when they were living, Stan hardly said a word. But now? Very talkative. Kenny, on the other hand, always loved talking. He was loud, very spontaneous. But fun nonetheless..
“So sweet…all for us. Isn’t that right, Kenny?”
“All for us!”
“And oh are we gonna have fun with you…”
“So much fun…”
[ BATTERY - LOW. ▯▯▯> ]
#kenny mccormick x yn#kenny mccormick x reader#stan marsh x yn#stan marsh x reader#south park x reader#South Park fan fiction#pifi writes
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Reposted from the McLennon Server on the request of one of my friends. This is an essay I wrote up tonight regarding my interpretation of Paul McCartney’s “However Absurd.”
This builds off a concept that the server started discussing sometime in March 2022 -- the idea that Paul considered himself John’s domestic partner and that this was a desire or interpretation Paul had about their relationship in light of his various interviews where he said he wanted to take care of John. Paul being who he is, he could only imagine this in the context of touring as the Beatles which was safe for them because they were had privacy in hotels and the context of touring meant no one examined that John and Paul were essentially living together, along with George and Ringo. This dynamic would be special for Paul as he finally got to take care of John the way he always wanted but only in the context of being a part of The Beatles.
Leggy Maddingway — Today at 9:04 PM
I'm kind of interpreting the above song with this lens:
things changed for John and Paul after John was living with him part time in Cavendish. The Scruffs noted that they often went into work together, John has referred to that year as "domestic," Paul has said since the 90s that he wished he could take care of John and that he basically viewed John as helpless, often referring to him in infantile terms.
We also know from an interview survey (the gamer girl bathwater one that I loled about a few moons ago) that Paul was interested in buying a farm out in the country as early as 1965.
My personal belief re: India is not so much that Paul rejected John when John came on to him, but that John asked Paul for a full blown relationship, as in living together, John divorcing Cynthia (which was already in the works) and being a genuine couple. He'd had a taste of this when he lived with Paul at Cavendish during 1967 before the India retreat. He wanted that full time and was desperate for a change. (Notably at this point he was already writing letters to Yoko Ono. He was looking for an offramp.) But Paul always wants things done a particular way -- I'm not even sure if homosexuality had been decriminalized at that point in the year, but it was still a very dangerous time to be gay even if you're a Beatle -- maybe especially if you're a Beatle since cops were already crawling up your ass trying to arrest you, they had already had conflicts with the police who were trying to bust them for drugs.
So with all that in mind, I posit that Paul said "no" and that he may have further insulted John by offering a really awful alternative -- Paul gets married and has a family while keeping John as the secret lover no one knows about. That would have been incredibly disrespectful to John regardless of circumstances so in my mind, a scenario like this is what would have triggered John into crawling to Yoko and subsequently blowing his life up. I simply don't believe that a "not right now" or a freak out over first-time sex would cause the kind of mental break we saw on John's end. However a firm backhand of disrespect and selfishness from Paul McCartney would.
The thing is, I also believe that Paul wanted to take care of John from a very early moment, maybe even from the moment he met John. This is primarily driven by the story about Here There Everywhere that Paul has told -- that he drove out to John's house to write, that John wasn't awake or wasn't dressed, and Paul hung out by the pool and managed to assemble Here There Everywhere in the time it took for John to at least wash his face and put on a clean pair of pants.
I think Paul must have gone up there, crept into the house, and woke John up from his depression sleep and John told him to fuck off and leave him alone, hence Paul's comments about John not being dressed and ready for the day. But Paul knew what John really meant so he just noodled around the pool with his guitar while John dragged himself out of bed.
Paul has mentioned how John was a tender hearted person and that he wanted to take care of John, and that's the anecdote that tells me he felt that way from the start.
"Here, There and Everywhere" is so obviously about John, I don’t get the people who try to insist that it isn’t and that it’s not related to them at all. But to me anyway it feels so clearly inspired by what's going on in front of Paul's face -- he's with John, John is sick and grumpy but Paul doesn't care: "But to love him is to need him everywhere." IDK, something about the song and the circumstances [that it was written under] shows so much tenderness and even understanding on Paul's part, John wasn't dressed for the day because he was depressed and exhausted and I think he yelled at Paul after Paul drove all the way to Kenwood just to be with John, but the fact that Paul wrote that song anyway just shows me that he knew better than to hold that outburst against John. He wanted John with him and since it sounds like Cynthia and Julian were gone for the day, he went there because he wanted to have John all to himself.
And then we get the quote that Veggie just pulled:
“Yeah yeah, it’s all very well, Paul,” muttered John. “Just because your Dad played in some old time music hall in the thirties doesn’t mean we should go on stage wearing white coats. People will think we’re a bunch of fairies.”
“Wait a minute, John, I’m burning the toast.” Paul, clattering about in the kitchen, seemed oblivious to John’s emphatic statement. He then came out of the kitchen with a pile of buttered toast on a large plate for the ravenous horde waiting.
“What did you say? I couldn’t hear you properly; oh, the white coats, is that what you’re on about? What’s your problem with that? Look John, it’s about time we started smartening up our image because we can’t go on looking like a gang of ruffians just dragged off the streets,” retorted Paul. “We must look professional – we’re on the stage, in the public eye, and appearances are important. If we start looking the part then perhaps you may even be able to get your chords right.”
Paul said this last point in a jovial manner, not wishing to rouse John’s temper, as he knew even after short acquaintance with John that he could soon ‘fly off the handle’ if provoked. John seemed unperturbed by the insinuation that Paul was making about his professionalism (or lack of it).
There was a silence for a couple of minutes as we all munched on our buttered toast.
“Yeah okay – but white coats? I can’t see myself in one of those. Anyway, where would we get them from?”
“Never mind that – Nigel will sort that out. Look, it will be you and me up front from now on as main guitarists and vocalists so it’ll look good, the both of us wearing the same gear. It will be white coats, white shirts and black bow ties – the rest of the group can wear white shirts and black bow ties..."
“Okay, we’ll all be in white then – it’s agreed,” said Paul. John then started up with a song that had recently been popularised: “A white sport coat and a pink carnation, I’m getting dressed up for a dance.” With that John did a little dance around the room. The Quarrymen Committee had arrived at another major decision without too much rancour.
I know this is mostly Paul being a decent host to a bunch of teenage boys but I also think that this is the earliest example we have of Paul already managing John/taking care of him domestically.
So when I see stuff like this:
Ears twitch, like a dog,
Breaking eggs in a dish.
Do not mock me when I say
This is not a lie.
Happy dogs, eggs breaking into dishes, these images are things that I see in a lot of material today that's about romanticizing domesticity. Cottagecore/grandmacore and the like.
"Do not mock me when I say this is not a lie" <- for me this feels like a reference to a fight that they might have had about the sincerity of Paul's feelings. After the India retreat we know that Paul hardcore self destructed (I think seeing John glom on to Yoko so hard was a big shock and he may have realized what he had done). It could have easily lead to a fight anywhere between 1967 to 1980 about whether Paul meant it or not. Paul wasn't deliberate about his word choice, this was supposed to be a nonsense song but that means he was word associating so who else would he be talking about associating domesticity::mockery of him finally being sincere?
There's a lot of ground muttering about Paul lying to John about his feelings or just not articulating them and I think that this is true up to a point but I also flat out don't believe that Paul didn't take the opportunity at some point to finally spit out what he really felt. But it would be extremely on brand for John to mock him for it, regardless of whether he believed it or not.
But Paul has something to feel guilty about -- or he believes he does. "I didn't say what I thought in exactly the right way and if I had then John would still be here." He couldn't say the words. They didn't get his feelings through. So he's still talking to John and trying to make him understand.
Something special between us,
When we made love the game was over.
I couldn't say the words,
Words wouldn't get my feelings through,
So I keep talking to you...
I think for someone like Paul McCartney, the idea that two men could live openly together was absurd. And to be fair there was a lot of reality in that thought -- he and John were being targeted by the police, a sodomy charge would be more than enough to put them both away and ruin their careers.
But Paul wanted it. He wanted it was early as 1957. He wanted it when he wrote "Here There Everywhere." He admitted this in the 1990s when he was being questioned about John Lennon. However absurd it may seem, he did in fact want to be a couple with John and just be able to fuck off somewhere with dogs that have twitching ears and you can break an egg into a dish. That's probably what made the rejection so horrific -- not because he rejected John on a reasonable basis but because he thought the idea was too absurd to follow through with despite the fact that he wanted it.
However absurd, however absurd... It may seem.
However absurd, however absurd... It may seem.
"Custom made dinosaurs" <- this is just my personal interpretation but when I read this I immediately imagined dinosaur costumes for kids. We have photos of Paul and Linda dressing their family up for Halloween and Paul going full PTA mom by carving pumpkins. Again, the full life he wanted: children and John and pastoral peace.
But it's too late now for a change, John is dead and Paul will never get him back. He's supposed to be the guy with everything but he's lost or estranged from everyone he's ever loved except for Richard Starkey which is...crushing.
Custom made dinosaurs,
Too late now, for a change.
Everything is under the sun,
But nothing is for keeps...
This is not a nonsense song. It may not have been deliberate but this is not nonsense.
mynamesbetty — Today at 9:20 PM
Read a quote on Tumblr that was basically "John used his feelings to make music and Paul used music to access his feelings"
That's what is happening here
VeggieRavioli — Today at 9:26 PM
something something the band and touring as a means to play house something something
Leggy Maddingway — Today at 9:27 PM
PRECISELY
because they were in private, their women weren't there, Paul tried to get John to tour with him again 1969, that was the context where they could live together openly and Paul could care for John like he always wanted and no one would question it and I just
for fuck's sake Paul hemmed John's trousers in Paris
he wanted to be John's partner, he wanted to live with him, he wanted to be a couple. He did those couple things. He made John toast, he mended John's clothes, he looked after the packing, I just feel insane when I look at this stuff and it's adding up to all this fucking gay shit.
#mclennon#mclennon server#john lennon#paul mccartney#beatles meta#my meta#here there and everywhere#however absurd#the lyrics
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3# The Bleakening
The fandom’s favorite if the polls are anything to go by.
This special have some of my favorite moments, and is the christmas special for excellent, but it just doesn’t resonate as much with me as i would want to. Don’t know why, still love it.
The first episode is okey, Linda being over dramatic about wanting to bring back the christmas spirit with a party is not very interesting for cause I don’t have that much christmas spirit myself.
But then everything takes a turn
WARNING
-The next section has a Bajada de Línea Política-
(couldn’t come with a translation, we said Bajada de Línea in Latam when we talk about how the media deals with political-social information)
Suddenly the episode doesn’t talk about how christmas spirit is getting lost or about a christmas tree thief. Suddenly this becomes a critic about how in holidays the LGBTQ+ community is systematically erase from the picture cause Christmas, as many other holidays, is mean to celebrate the traditional cis-heteronormative family, something that of course is not a thing our community can aim for.
Is not only a social thing, where queer youth (and even older queer people as we see in the episode) have to suffer trough the rejection of their relatives, their own family telling them to not make things uncomfortable or weird. Is bigger than that with all the media around us telling this is a moment to spend with your white family made by a mom, a dad, and childrens, commercials, marketing campaigns, and different conglomerates whose main target is not us.
And yeah I know this had change a little bit since the past 10 years which is not much actually, for context this season was made back then in 2015-2017.
Of course now companies now days acknowledge our existence but just if it suits them for re-newing their brand and trying to appear more politically correct (I hate how some people use this concept)
But in that time and even now, if my experience is anything to go by, we are left out of the celebrations. Is not that we don’t have christmas spirit is just that we don’t fit in the christmas spirit itself, the christmas is not for us. But even if they try to shut us down, we remain, cause we want to celebrate, we have the right to share our love in our own way, with our own family, a chosen one.
The song Twinkle Lights, even if is not one of my favorites, carries this brutal message. A message that thank to the gods is in all Bob’s Burgers series but come to be the start in this kind of episodes.
This is my way of seeing this episode, this could be incorrect, and be fed by my own relationship with the holidays. No soy gringo, soy Latinoamericano, so I don’t know if you would have another perspective. I’m intense and I now. I read to much between the lines.
So for a more cheering comments.
EXTRAS
The kids had one of the best songs in the episode, The Bleaker, and their part is very cute. there’s also a brutal scene at the end of the first episode that I would post later.
The kids are good but for me Linda and Bob carried the episodes, specially Linda, but I live for they exploring Bob’s sexuality, you know it, is just my favorite thing in the serie.
You can not look at this man and tell me hasn’t have his share of underground gay bars.
"I would never call the cops" HE KNOWS! On an underground gay rave you DONT.CALL.THE.COPS.
I love to see Dalton and Marshmallow come back and Marshmallow’s new boyfriend Art the Artist appearance (I really like this lil man I hope he reappears at some point) (I know is been 7 seasons already, leave me alone)
By the way I’m very normal about Bob in his Bleaker costume. Aha. Not drooling at all. Oh and definitely not fantasizing about Teddy and Bob fucking in this costumes. Of course not. Normal.
Teddy using the situation as an excuse to make a semi naked Bob cuddle with him in a inflatable santa? Mhh. Aha. Normal.
#bob's burgers#the bleakening#sorry if you didn't understand shit#there were so many things that i didn't knew how to say in english#las desventajas de ser latino#like gloria would say#I sound more smart in spanish#but for now this is it#i really like this episode#i love when Bob's Burgers get to be a musical#they always nailt it#knock it out of the park#bobs burgers#this didn't hava thata much correction cause im still sick and dying
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I’m just gonna go ahead and say sorry in advance the man lost his mind with the next ep but 3x04 1/2 ‘He would make great marketing for durex. Remember their covid ads? Funny as shit. Why is she here? Why can’t she take the kid with her to the hospital? I thought i gave Brian permission to hit this fucking kid? Yeah! Eat the chips you little bitch.‘ we got to Mel and Linds picking donors ‘FRESH SPERM?! LINDSAY HE IS 19- What are the-THEY CANT GO TO A SPERM BANK? THEYRE GONNA PICK BETWEEN THEIR FRIENDS?! Girl, what makes you think any of them want a kid at all or better yet with you? There is no way Brian would let that kid get into the ‘vette. JUSTIN! WHY ARE THEY CASUALLY SAYING HEY TO EACH OTHER? oh Justin hates this kid (Mel and Linds pick Mikey) MICHAEL?! THEY ARE PICKING MICHAEL?! MICHAEL?! MIKE? MIKEY?! Because he invited a kid to a comic book store? THAT IS LITERALLY HIS JOB! Thank god the diner doesn’t have more male waiters because she would think someone wants a kid just cause they told her the specials’ ‘WHAT IS WITH THEM MOVING IN SO FAST? I THOUGHT THAT WAS A YOU PEOPLE THING *waves at me*’. ‘Have you noticed that whenever Lindsay and Melly want something from someone they make them a meal? (mikey and Ben are taking a shower and he actually fake gagged) The only shower scenes I like are Brian and Justin’ ‘he’s going through Brian’s stuf- he has a lot of dildos, why am i acting surprised..HE STOLE HIS BRACELET! How dare you, you little shit! BRIAN HE HAS YOUR BRACELET! HE DOES NOT OWE ANY OF YOU ANYTHING ESPECIALLY NOT MONEY! I know I said hit him but this *points to the toilet scene* is WAY fucking better! Do Ethan next!’ He is once again using Shazam to make his playlist even better. ‘Usually when people start doing drugs, they become fun before they ruin their lives, this dude is just hitting the gym? Boring. Oh he’s angry and jealous of Michael isn’t he? Well that’s not healthy’ he is once again using Shazam, this is getting ridiculous. ‘OKAY BRIAN!! Oh damn, I don’t remember him being all 6 packy before. Why is a cop there?’ ‘Why is he surprised that he wont have full rights? Dude, you’re a DONOR! But don’t worry they never hold their word, they force the donors to step up one way or the other. Make sure you have life insurance. THATS WHY THERES SPERM BANKS MELANIE!’ And thee scene is coming up (my cousin thankfully reminded me to record him here bc she knew he’d lose his mind and thank fuck she did. Usually i record him for big moments but i almost forgot here) ‘HE ACCUSED HIM OF WHAT NOW?! *pauses tv* OH FUCK HIM AND FUCK WHOEVER MADE HIM! That is such a horrible and serious accusation to make cause some people, HA, some people..good one (his name), GIRLS! WOMEN! aren’t believed! And boys! Oh don’t even get me started and i know it’s ironic because im yelling at a boy BUT DIFFERENT! WE DONT EVEN GET TO COME FORWARD CAUSE WE SHOULD BE HAPPY WE GOT LAID! And if it was done by a man? Well then we are forced to be quiet because we get mocked since apparently gay is worse than rape. But Brian is gay, so of course he did that and nobody would think otherwise. Because gay means predator in their peanut shaped brain! Meanwhile PRIESTS exist! Or those weird family friends that you have to change outfits for when they come over but nobody calls that out. HOW FUCKING DARE THEY? You know what? FUCK EVERYTHING AND ESPECIALLY FUCK THAT KID! His family better know better, i have no faith in them but they owe him that! Nobody will believe this, he literally hates kids!‘ He then got up and went outside to smoke. I forgot that when the whole Florida gay ban bullshit happened, this man FLEW to florida to protest (we are nowhere near florida) so I should’ve seen this coming tbh. And when he came back inside he just went ‘I do wish they showed him being interrogated because I know for a fact my man was giving sarcasm and anger and funny insults!’ ‘Well look at that, it’s almost as if you shouldn’t move in together after like a week!’
Melanie and Lindsay’s insistence on using known sperm over donor sperm baffles me and must be because for TV reasons because it’s so bananas. LOLing at them making someone a meal… that is so true!
Ben not becoming more interesting with a drug problem IS A MOOD. And true.
His reaction to this storyline is everything. Factually, false accusations are incredibly rare and yes, it’s a double-whammy for boys. The other part of this storyline I hate? Is that Claire is right to believe her kid. So rarely do parents believe their kids and go to the police, when they should. I hate hate hate this storyline with a passion. I get why it happens (Justin still believing in Brian and doing whatever needs to be done to clear his name) but FFS CowLip why why why do you have to create a narrative around a false accusation?
YOUR BROTHER FLEW TO FL TO PROTEST? He gets all the fist-ally’s in the world! I love him.
#ask winderlylandchime#dear sweet anon#queer as folk#a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023
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[ SONNY BRISKO ONCE SAID… ]
Taken from this video which has a bunch of miscellaneous phrases the VTuber Sonny Brisko from NijiEN has said. Feel free to change pronouns if necessary. Content warning for mild language and other stuff.
“Hello, I’m [full name] and I’m looking for guys.”
“Thank you for beating my sack.”
“You can't add loyalty to the hoe because these hoes ain't loyal.”
“Can you harvest yeast from the coochie monster to make bread??”
“I love poop.”
“It’s really good when you need to make a few extra dollars.”
“We all have a penis in our hearts.”
“Why do you wanna direct someone to your nuts when you could be telling them to have a nice day–”
“I am expecting a brutal breeding from my senpais–”
“They gotta do something else with the cow once they squeeze all the milk out of it.”
“He’s more than my homie… He’s my husband.”
“A boy and a boy can only give birth to a boy.”
“Thank you for the milk funds.”
We’ll be needing that cause neither of us can produce milk.”
“Do your fucking work, stop slacking off.”
“WHEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THAT’S AMOOORE⁓”
“Shoot first, ask questions later.”
Is it better to piss in the sink or sink in the piss??”
“You’re into that, you freak??”
“AUSTRALIAN INTERNET, PLEASE!!!”
“This isn’t even drip anymore, it’s flood.”
“You wouldn’t break the law in front of a cop, would you??”
“Tell all your Twitter friends that I’m live.”
“Psychological manipulation is the highest form of comedy.”
“If I theoretically shot you in the face, you would die.”
“Let’s play fetch. I’ll throw bullets and you catch them with your brain.”
“You guys like watching me eat?? What’s wrong with you??”
“I’ll use my male urge on you if you’re not careful.”
“My boots are specially designed to more effectively kick on open doors and step on people.”
“I heard an interesting chemical reaction happens when you mix glass with a human face, namely a lot of blood comes out…”
“And you can punch them.”
“Don’t apologize… Just die.”
“Look at you all fucked up on the ground.”
“Spitters are quitters. You should’ve swallowed.”
“I’m wearing red boxer briefs.”
“I’m just as tall even when I’m not horny.”
“If you hard, then you hard.”
“I’m the best aho in the world.”
“Are you getting flustered about being told what to do??”
“Are you mad?? that you got mega-owned?? On live stream??”
“I trolled you epic-style, how does that feel??”
“After a long gay of daming—”
“First of all, words can’t describe me. I describe word.”
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Thinking about all the lesbians from the bar adopting Eliot and like.
On a more sentimental note.
Can we just.
He would Family them so fucking good???
Especially those who's families had rejected them like.
Every generation on down the line, from the elder dykes to the baby gays, he'd be such a sweet son/baby brother/annoying middle sibling/older brother/dad figure to them all, and like.
Of COURSE he soaks that up just as much as they do and if he thinks about it for too long there's a threat of waterworks so it goes in the box next to HardisonAndParker labeled "Well Don't THINK About It Then."
And he's always there to support them like as much as it's risky for him to interact too much with cops he's a bunch of the younger one's (and some around his age too, though the elders are a little more Handle It Themselves Like We've Always Done - Trust Me Sonny What Ever You've Got To Throw At Me Can't Hold A CANDLE To The Eighties) first call when they need a cishet-passing just-a-good-ol-boy sounding man to deal with an authority figure for them. He's the BEST at diffusing situations where police have been called or there's some Heartlander causing trouble. Sure he'd also LOVE to hit some of these fucks, but there'd always be some threat of retaliation later when Eliot's not available, you know?
And vice versa, they TRY and help him out, but it's always [Nate voice:] "you never admitted to needing need anything." So they bully him into accepting some comforts at least, even if they can't get the whole story out of him. And maybe there's one grizzled ex-vet, pushing 90 but still buff and ornery as hell. Tattooed every where. maybe she even runs the joint, used to be special forces herself till they found out she was lesbian (it might been fine if it were just her sexuality, but apparently her gender was a bigger issue) and started on a PMC tour of her own. She was good at what she did, and private companies were always a little more willing to look the other way in exchange for skill.
Anyways she not only knows The Look but also still keeps her ear to the ground, stays in touch with some old squad mates from the military days as well as some of her private security contacts. Spencer was WELL after her generation so the name doesn't spark anything until the boy comes in looking haunted as hell the night after The Warehouse, and she knows that look, so she starts digging.
The name gets her a heavily redacted service history, some spotty PMC employment records, and a frantic voicemail from a friend in Brussels telling her to stay the fuck away from Moreau's Dog.
She follows that name around a bit - it's like pulling teeth at first but when suddenly the news breaks that Moreau has conveniently just been imprisoned in San Lorenzo? it gets a hell of a lot easier. the only people who like to gossip more than freshly dumped pillow princesses are mercenaries whose NDA's have just been suddenly terminated - and gets a few more pieces of the story. Enough pieces to put together a decent picture.
Eliot heads right for the bar when he gets back to Boston, only to find it closed for a Private Event.
Damn.
He really coulda used just bein' around the girls for a bit tonight. After everything. Might as well head back to McRor-
"Bout time you got your ass back stateside, boy," comes Toby's gravelly smoker's drawl just as he turns to leave. "S'just you an' me an' a couple my ol' army buddies tonight, kid. We're gonna talk a bit then we're gonna drink a lot then we're gonna take all your money in a poker game. Get on in here."
And just like that Eliot's got himself a queer ex-vet ptsd support group too.
#toby as in tobias#it worked out well for her whenever she needed to codeswitch#because after she changed it at least when she had to deal with being male-passing she didnt have to get deadnamed#considering the way western-centric goyim always just assumed it was a mans name anyway#eliot spencer#and yeah i know hes already got a toby but whatever im projecting#maybe thats why he was so drawn to her in the first place#mayBE THATS WHAT WAS THE FIRST INSENSITIVE COMMENT HE MADE THAT STARTED THE FIRST FIGHT#like not even thinking about it as a microaggression just open mouth insert foot 'i knew a guy called toby once-'#then later after the Return and Apology he explained what he meant to say was she shares the name of someone who mentored him and changed#his life and he just. didnt think before he spoke about it.#lesbian bar au
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More Rewritten AU stuffs
Neither Harlan nor H. P. really like to cook, but when they do, H. P. has surprisingly good taste when it comes to steak and salads and Harlan makes amazing soups when you need comfort on sad/snow days or if your sick
Sheriff still likes to grill, is working on more ways to impress Janet
Jones is an okay cook, he knows how to make a bunch of stuff but it's a matter of if he's being lazy or not. Freddy was the special case, to a point [[MORE]]
Jones has some days woken up choosing violence and brings up some classic literature that he knows Harlan and H. P. both have.. Differing OPINIONS on. Both Sheriff and Janet have to pull the two off of each other and then hold them back from attacking Jones
When Freddy is learning to read, Harlan and H. P. try to get him to read books in their areas of writing. Sheriff tries to get him to read comics. Jones, as Janet is consuling Sheriff after Freddy "colored in the pages" of "Unc Browny's" comic, let's Freddy choose his own book. A manual for setting traps. Jones just laughs
When Freddy was a baby, Jones said "ya know what?" and strapped Freddy to him tight whenever he suited up to jog. Baby Freddy enjoyed it, granted he stayed asleep for most of the jogs
H. P. has sketch books, filled with "failed" illustrations of his book characters
Janet steals chocolate pieces. A lot.
Harlan is an accomplice to the above
Sheriff's mother loved Freddy, heck she loved Jones too saying "you are so wonderful with him!", basically adopting him as her grandson, aka first grandchild
Sheriff likes to play Cops and Robbers with Freddy
Jones sometimes gives Harlan his research notes for his books when he's stuck on a book, it's an odd thing but it helps the other man think, Harlan tries to give him a cut of the book but Jones declines and says he's not interested in profits
Harlan and Janet just hang out, sometimes they go out to lunch other times the two just talk
H. P. and Sheriff watch westerns together, H. P. used to watch them with his father before he died and hasn't watched them since but he's taking baby steps with Sheriff to enjoy them again
When Jones has to work, he either takes Freddy to daycare or drops him off at Sheriff's mothers house. The old woman is all too happy to take the boy for the day
Freddy's favorite uncle is Sheriff and Janet is his favorite aunt
Nova and The Freak have check-ins with Jones every other week. Not to check to see if he wants the treasure (no for that Freak just gives Jones awful fevers, but Freak often looks in on his dreams - most of which have him at Freddy's graduation), but to how he's doing and how Freddy is
When Freddy as about 10, Jones finds out that Avocados' ancestor was a diamond thief and gives his notes and the journal to Janet. To be fair, Avocados was doing an okay job at being Mayor. But Jones, remembering the trouble that had been caused from the first time, decided not to suffer alone with the information anymore
Needless to say, this whole thing destroyed Avocados' already declining reputation. Jones didn't want that to happen, but Avocados did it to himself after getting too big for his lapels. Becoming too focused on making the town a tourist trap and actively starting to harm parts of the community to get what he wanted
Janet decides to take a jab at being Mayor shortly after. She's doing a really good job. Her and Sheriff getting married shortly after
Harlan and H. P. get married that same winter, after a law is passed by Janet that makes gay marriage legal
When Freddy starts to hang out with his friends, Jones decides that yeah.. everything is going to be alright
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Trolberg 🌈pride🌈 headcanons
Kaisa absolutely hosts events at the library to boost lgbt authors in Trolberg. Q&A sessions, discussion tables, this sort of thing
She also organizes a special area dedicated to lgbt literature
Trolberg looks like the sort of city to put cops (or at least their version of cops) at pride. People at the Patrol raise their eyebrows at Gerda’s eager insistence that she is assigned to this duty
Elves aren’t familiar with the concept of pride, so when Johanna explains to Alfur why the city has a couple of rainbow decorations, he is fascinated by the concept and writes the Northen Counties about it
The Lost Clan does have a version of it though! They do treat it more like a love celebration, because there isn’t really any prejudice among them to be defeated (so much more advanced than humans :’)). Alfur gets invited, of course
Tildy loves to attend the parade to give emotional support to any people there who aren’t accepted by their families. She’s that “if your mother doesn’t support you, I’m your mother now” sort of person, and every year she is all too eager to distribute hugs and baked goods around
Speaking of the parade, the Raven Leader is one of the main organizers. After all, she has a lot of experience with event planning and her spirit is very well appreciated!
Since she knew Johanna was a designer, RL invites her make the posters for the events. It takes all her strength not to squeal with excitement
Still on Johanna, she’s more of a discreet sort of person, but during the month she does put some more effort into having her clothes match the colours of her pride flag once in a while
Pride events are a great opportunity for the Rat King to discover people who are part of the community. But when particularly nasty Marra ask them about it for “coming out” nightmare reasons, they refuse to say the names because they’ve 👏🏼 got👏🏼 morals 👏🏼
Honestly I’m sure Abigail would try to celebrate it when she came back to Trolberg so add some disgruntled witches trying to run after a gay ghost to stop it from causing mayhem to the mix (not Kaisa, though. Kaisa would just be watching from afar going “good for her”)
Anyway these are silly but I hope you enjoy them xD please feel very welcome to add on!!
#my headcanons about sketchbook are basically#johanna: *timidly waving a lil bi flag*#kaisa: *pops out of a box with rainbow confetti* MOVE IM GAY#also my autocorrect wanted me to type “’Raven Lesbian’ jdbdjdbjsbd#sounds about right#man I can already tell some homophobic is going to find this post and complain#hilda the series#kaisa hilda#johanna Hilda#gerda gustav#abigail hilda
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Baseless Ferengi headcanons no one asked for and that get increasingly queer-navel-gazing and self indulgent because the horrible space goblins have consumed my brain:
- Mobile ears, because if hearing is so well developed and important to them they should be able to aim those big stupid radar dishes. Also because then they can emote with them and that's cute. THE AESTHETIC IS PARAMOUNT.
- Since they canonically sharpen their teeth with chew sticks and sharpeners, their teeth must grow continuously. So I submit: subcultures that let certain teeth grow out as a fashion/political statement. Ferengi punks and anarchists with 5" tusks. Ferengi with all their teeth filed flat (mom and dad HATE it).
- Corollary to the above, most of their teeth are crooked. At the least, they don't share our fetish for straight teeth. What if their teeth are deciduous, and there's no point in trying to force them into perfect alignment, since they'll just fall out and get replaced? So like, sharks but their teeth can also grow longer with no limit. WHAT HAST EVOLUTION WROUGHT ON FERENGINAR :V
- Parents nagging their kids to sharpen their teeth "or they'll grow up into your brain and you'll die :)"
- Personal space? Don't know her.
Okay I need a cut because there's too many now. WHOLE SOCIETY OF GAY HOMOPHOBIC UNCLES AND AUNTS GO I HAVE A PROBLEM
- I can't remember who on here put forth the idea of them having retractable claws but Yes. :3
- Pushing back against the worst canon episode a bit but: relative ear size being the only obvious sexually dimorphic trait, and even that having enough of a gray area that the only way to be 100% sure you're talking to a male or female Ferengi is if you do a blood test. Unless they're intersex! *shrug emoji*
- This is why they're so fanatical about gender conformity and their Victorian "separate spheres" attitude to men and women's roles. Capitalist patriarchy is fragile! And as artificial to Ferengi as it ever was to Humans! (self-indulgenceeeee about gender shiiiiit)
- You know how with domesticated rabbits, the rabbit getting groomed and paid attention to is the boss? Yeah. Go ahead and paint your bestie's nails, just don't be surprised if she cops a little bit of an attitude with you from then on.
- Their fight/flight/freeze/fawn instincts skew heavily toward the last three, and what a lot of other species read as annoying sucking up is the Ferengi in question feeling anxious and unsafe. Especially if they don't feel integrated into the group. Even being at the bottom of the pecking order is better than not being in the flock at all.
- If they DO opt for fight, it's ugly and typically their last resort. Bites or scratches will get infected without intervention-- microbes that their immune system can handle could cause big trouble for aliens. You might wanna check for full or partial teeth that break off and get lodged in the wound, too.
- Too many of these are tooth related but I don't care. :B More teeth stuff: you know what else has teeth that grow constantly? Puffer fish. Likewise, Ferengi can chew up mollusk shells as easy as potato chips, and they need the minerals for their teeth. (Imagine grandpa Sisko offering Nog a crayfish for the first time and watching as he just...pops the whole damn thing in his mouth and crunches away...)
- Their staple foods seem to be grubs and other arthropods, high in protein and fat. I've unilaterally decided their cuisine also involves a lot of edible fungi, ferns, plant shoots and seeds. Gotta get those vitamins. Overall flavor profile leaning toward umami, vegetal, and fresh herbs, and pretty mild (or "delicate" if you wanna be snooty about it, which a Ferengi probably would let's be real).
- Not much sugary food. I'm basing this solely on Quark's aversion to root beer as "cloying". Which could definitely just be his personal preference, but most of the people I hear hating on root beer cite the actual sassafras/sarsaparilla flavor (saying it tastes like medicine) not the sweetness. Nog might be the weirdo outlier for being able to enjoy it.
- Their home planet isn't bright and sunny, so their eyes are better at discerning shades of gray in low light conditions, with relatively weak color vision. Which could explain why they dress Like That.
- Conversely, human music has a reputation for stinking on ice because a lot of it is juuuuust lightly dissonant or out of tune because we can't pick up flaws that small. Ferengi can, and it drives them up the *wall*.
- Music? So many different kinds. Traditionally, maybe lots of percussion and winds, and water as a common component of many instruments to alter pitch or tone. Polyphony out the ass. Some of the modern stuff is an impenetrable wall of sound if you're not a species with a lot of brain real estate devoted to processing sounds. Pick out one melody to follow at a time.
- Yes, back to teeth again I'm sorry. It's a sickness. At some point in their history, pre-chewing food was just something you did for your baby or great grandma as a matter of necessity. Possibly your baby gets an important boost to their immune system and gut biome from your spit. At some point takes on a more formal intimacy aspect and gradually drifted from something all adults and older kids do to something only women do. Your husband and older kids have perfectly functional teeth, but you love them, right? =_= (Think old memes about husbands being useless in the kitchen if little wifey isn't there to cook, but even more ridiculous. Ishka was right about everything but especially this. Thank you for making your family chew their own food, Ishka. Not all heroes wear capes. Or anything!)
- How did they get started on the whole men: clothed vs women: unclothed nonsense? My equally stupid idea: men just get cold easier. Those huge ears dissipate a ton of body heat. Cue Ferengi cliches like "jeez, we could be standing on the surface of the sun and my husband would put on another layer." At some point, again, this got codified and pushed to ridiculous extremes in the name of controlling women and keeping everyone in their assigned box, to the point that women just have to shiver if they really are too cold and men have to pass out from heat stroke if the alternative is going shirtless, because That Would Be Inappropriate.
- Marriages default to five years, but they're also the only avenue for women to have their own household or any stability. Plus their religion places no emphasis on purity save for pure adherence to the free market and the RoA. So, curveball to the rest of their patriarchal bullshit: female virginity isn't a concern in the least. Bring it up and they'll rightly side-eye you.
- Family law is absolutely bonkers and lawyers that specialize in it make BANK. I feel like custody would default to the father usually but oh wait, the maternal grandfather has a legal stake in this, too, and your next father-in-law is asking HOW many kids are you dragging into my daughter's house, etc etc. Growing up with a full sibling is way rarer than growing up with half or stepsiblings, since it usually takes both men and women two or three tries to find someone they vibe with. (Not love, unless you're super cringe.)
- A misogynistic society is a homophobic society. Imo those flavors of shittiness just come in pairs. Homosexual behaviors are fine within certain parameters (aka "always have sex with the boss") but not on your own terms. To add spice, bisexuality is their most common mode (because I'm bi and these are my hcs for my fics I'm not writing, so there), but capitalism demands fresh grist for the mill so you better get het-married and pop out some kids you lowly peons. You have a choice so make the proper one. :)
- Corollary to the above, that doesn't keep all kinds of illicit "we're just friends with quid-pro-quo benefits for realsies" affairs of every stripe and every gender from going on everywhere. Many Ferengi have a lightbulb moment somewhere in early adulthood when they figure out their dad's business partner or the "auntie" who visited their mom every month had a little more going on.
- Plus there's way more gender non-conformity and varying degrees of trans-ing than the powers that be have a handle on. Pel isn't unique, even if most would have to somehow make it out into space to be able to thrive.
Damn a lot of these are just my personal bugbears plus THE GILDED AGE BUT WITH HAIRLESS SPACE RODENTS ain't they
- Women can't earn profit, okay. But lending or "lending" things to each other isn't commerce, riiiiiiight? To be assigned female is to master navigating a vast, dizzying barter/gift economy. Smart boys and men leverage this, too, and there are splinter sects that view this as the purest expression of the Great Material Continuum.
- Of course plenty of women make profit anyway, and just do their bast to dodge the FCA. The tough thing about insisting on using latinum as currency is that cash can be so hard to track, you know?
- Because of the RoA, guys are discouraged from doing favors or giving gifts without setting clear expectation of getting some return on investment. This can twist into an expression of friendship (and of course women do it too), and the ledger will keep cycling between debit and credit among friends for decades. A common mistake aliens make is to tell them recompense isn't needed without explaining why, or return their favor or present with something that zeroes out the debt. The Ferengi will assume you want to break off the friendship. (I cribbed this from dim memories of an African studies course I took in 2007 and whose textbook I know I still have but I can't frigging find it...)
- Flirting, they do a lot of it for a lot of reasons. Roddenberry made it clear that they're just straight up pretty horny, but there's no reason it can't pull double duty for building alliances with other people, smoothing over feuds or disagreements, or cementing friendships. Ferengi who are ace and/or sex-repulsed are possibly viewed similar to the way we'd view someone who's "not a hugger/not big on touching" and if they flirt just don't get offended if it doesn't go any further; aro Ferengi don't garner much comment aside from an occasional "wow how badass, never falling in love with anyone."
- where to even start on making sense of the Blessed Exchequer??? Like seriously, what is this literal prosperity gospel insanity, I need to force myself to re-read Rand and like, some Milton Friedman for this shit. Help.
- fuck I'm probably going to actually do that, RIP me...
#ds9#star trek#meta#ferengi#i love them Too Much help#reliving my brief libertarian phase from high school from the opposite direction#my heart wants to make them simultaneously as queer and as repressed as possible#i didn't even make it to the goddamned blessed exchequer my head is too full#i will find beauty in this vulgarity if it kills me#this is too long#why did i spend my time this way
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Pls tell me about your ocs i'm so curious!
First of all, AAAAA thank you!!! ;;;A;;;
Second, i apologize in case i forget about someone-
This is gonna be a long post because i wanna be through and add images of everyone if possible sooo yeah
okay here we go!
• Agnes Black
She's one of my few human OCs! Quite the bad person, she has a past involved with corrupted cops and mercenary work. She used to enjoy causing pain and having power over others, but she changed after losing her partner in a suspicious accident and now she's "retired" and tries to live a normal life away from her past, although it still haunts her to this day. She's currently around her late 50s and is aro(grey)ace.
• Ryan "the Jackal" Drake
(This is like. the only decent drawing i have of him hskdgkshs sorry)
A very famous mercenary, he convinced Agnes to leave the corrupted police and join him and his adventures. They became partners and did crimes together until he disappeared after a very strange accident. He hasn't been seen ever since. He was around his 30s when he was last seen. He's very bisexual, lively and likes to joke around.
• Adrian Miles
A young man, he's working to become a private detective. He believes on justice and is investigating Jackal's disappearence. He stumbles upon Agnes during his research, who agrees to help him (since she also wants to know). He's in his 20s, a quiet young polite man.
• Leroy/Lee
Lee's a monster from a story where monsters are common night creatures similar to very intelligent animals. He's the scaredy cat kinda type, quite skittish and cautious of humans (with exceptions). He's mainly carnivorous and can live on any place, be it forest or city. He can easily climb on any surface in any direction and can also get inside shadows and fit through places he wouldn't be able to otherwise! He's very special to me, one of my fav ones for sure.
• Vreytus
(this image is a wip but i don't have anything better h)
He's a Lissel, a kind of creature that's linked to the flow of all life to the Beyond. He's from a story i have where magic and humans used to coexist until humans decided to delete the magic realm itself, which didn't work as intended and instead focused magic flow into key areas. He lives in one of those "magic oasis" which is a huge forest (he was called Forest Fella before i gave him a name hhh). He considers humans a threat, with exceptions. He's centuries old and in the story he lives till current times.
• Mask
They' an Undertale OC, an amalgamate to be precise. They're what's left of a small group of survivors that evaded being captured and trapped underground from the times of the war between humans and monsters. They roam around aimlessly and have no true purpose but are friendly towards people if they're met with friendliness. Note: VERY squishy and huggable!
• Rask'r
He's a Skyrim OC, a roaming argonian werewolf adoptive father of two. He's very cheery and friendly, and thinks of his lycanthropy as something natural and good since he got it when he was very young and has huge control during his transformations. Best dad.
• Chad and Lewis
(Chad up, Lewis down)
Half Life OCs! Lewis saves Chad from an alien attack during the Black Mesa Incident and they manage to escape together and survive till the events in HL2. Yes, they're gay for each other :>
Honorable mentions
because i ran out of space for images hhh
Larial Black: Undertale OC, she's Paps and Sans' older sister, a scientist
Horrortale!Larial Black: edgy (and too fleshed out, oops) version of Larial, she captures humans to experiment on them and then eats them. She has a special place in my heart as one of my first edgy OCs
Liz: a small reptilian borrower
Voirds: a species of void creatures that resemble birds, the most notable being Borb, a specially round one
Voirdity: a humanoid creature that voirds seem to respect. child-like and giggly, likes to play with humans
Andddd i think that might be it lmao, that was huuuge to do, thanks a lot for your curiosity, i hope it's satiated now!
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As this "free speech" culture war rages on it's becoming increasingly clear to me that incorporating bigotry into your art is a VERY good career move that puts you above regular creators who put out regular works. A regular artist who gets denied a gallery showcase just has to deal with it. But an artist who portrays trans women as dangerous and degenerate in their work can sue, claim they're being "cancelled", and coerce the gallery into platforming them.
So many comedians, writers, self-improvement grifters, and visual artists have gotten extremely wealthy by claiming victimhood and saying they're being "cancelled". Shit, this isn't even just about artists. Multiple killer cops have made MILLIONS from GoFundMe's funded under the guise of "countering PC culture". Because they killed someone. Not just after they killed someone, but BECAUSE they killed someone, and specifically because that killing was a hate crime.
I just don't wanna hear it. don't wanna hear it about Kevin Hart, i don't wanna hear it about JK Rowling, i don't wanna hear it about Jess de Wahls, i don't wanna hear it about Jordan Peterson, and I'm sorry but i don't wanna hear it about Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie either.
You wanna talk about free speech why don't we talk about the doxxing and stalking and threats that people get sent by these celebritys' fans for saying anything remotely critical about them. You wanna talk about free speech let's talk about how you can't offer any criticism without these celebrities warping and often straight up lying about the criticism they receive in order to stir up their base.
Gay people can't say shit about jokes about beating us just for being gay. Trans people can't say shit about the propagation of stereotypes that treat them as inherent dangers or as delusional. People of color can't say shit about the literal white supremacist signals and logic utilized in a popular podcast. Queer Nigerians can't say shit about lines that put their lives in further danger by wealthy famous people who are safe.
These celebrities can always sue and force organizations to platform them when they'd never have that option if they just made art and left it at that. These celebrities can always rile up their base and stoke a borderline idol-worship from the people who want to vindicate them. But what's the recourse for the people who are targeted by their statements? What's the recourse for the people who are doxxed for not standing with them, sometimes even by the celebrities themselves?
The world is complicated now and it's hard to have any kind of public presence. I GET THAT. There's real nuance when it comes to this kind of subject. It's not about "cancel culture" it's about the fact that there's just far more moving parts to social media and public life than there ever used to be, far more than we can fathom. People always wanna make it about some "PC" Boogeyman because at the end of the day, that fearmongering holds social and public power. And I'm willing to have a conversation about that nuance! I'm willing to talk about the ways that certain public figures have been treated unfairly or have had things they said taken out of context. But I'm not gonna have that conversation unless i know it's just with people who are willing to take it seriously instead of parasitizing it for a reactionary movement, which basically rules out almost any public platform. Cause I'm tired of constanty seeing BLATANT motte-and-bailey fallacies with these incidents where a celebrity with massive power will do something genuinely egregious like doxx somebody or send thousands of harassers to some nobody's page, with no way for that person to defend themself, and then all the celebrity's *obsessive* followers come out and say "they're just being cancelled cause they said something unpopular". Nah it's not about that, it's not about popularity. It's about how you treat people, it's about how you use the genuine powers that a large following gives you.
How are we supposed to take "cancel culture" seriously when it's so profitable and opens up so many unique doors to the people getting "cancelled" and no one else? How are we supposed to take it seriously when a regular embroiderer who doesn't get given deals just has to network more but an embroiderer who makes pieces that portray trans women as dangerous and violent gets to sue and send their followers after the gallery and use being "cancelled" to get special privileges that other artists don't get?
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* ‘ 𝐇𝐈𝐃𝐃𝐄𝐍 𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐄𝐒 ’ 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 .
all quotes are taken from the book hidden bodies by caroline kepnes . the second book in the you series .
( WARNING : some quotes are graphic & include mentions of murder , death , & may contain strong language ! )
‘ it is possible to know people . they show you who they are . you just have to be looking . ’
‘ we all get our hearts broken . ’
‘ to be alive is to do it again . to love is to risk everything . ’
‘ the real horror of my life is not that i’ve killed some terrible people . ’
‘ the real horror is that the people i’ve loved didn’t love me back . ’
‘ the real horror of my life is not that i’ve killed some terrible people . the real horror is that the people i’ve loved did not love me back . ’
‘ love is kind , love is patient , but also , mainly , above all -- yes -- love is perverted . ’
‘ there is nothing more terrifying than realizing the one who knows you best loves you least , pities you even . ’
‘ a book lets you choose how much of the blood you want to see . a book gives you the permission to see the story as you want , as your mind directs . ’
‘ memories are all the same at their core . it’s just us trying to keep each other alive . the best parts anyway . ’
‘ your skin is a waste of space because there’s no heart inside of you . ’
‘ i can’t stand the way you make me feel so good , like , better than i ever felt , and then you tear it all away , like deep down , you don’t want me to be happy . ’
‘ the girl at the register winked and said she’s also a big fan of ‘ fifty shades ’ and this is what has become of our society . fucking and killing are the same damn thing . ’
‘ you can love someone all you want , but you can’t go into their past and become part of their formative years . ’
‘ i wish it were socially acceptable to brandish a knife . ’
‘ just eat it and shit it and be done and don’t feel special cause you eat that shit with someone because in the end we all shit alone . ’
‘ you are not burdened with a sensitive heart . yours just beats . ’
‘ we don’t care , you know ? do whatever . chill out . be gay . be straight . i mean , what is the big deal ? we’re all gonna die anyway , you know ? who wants to spend their precious life hating ? ’
‘ this town is full of places to hide a body , but when the person inside the body doesn’t love you , it’s not an easy thing , turning that breathing person into a bad one . ’
‘ there is nothing remarkable about this ‘ guac ’ , about any ‘ guac ’ , and california needs to calm the fuck down . ’
‘ you wasted my heart , my time . ’
‘ i don’t like this culture of reading a book and spitting out an immediate reaction . ’
‘ there is no such thing as a one - night stand . sometimes , what you do for one night destroys your future . ’
‘ do i speak english ? no , but i speak cunt ! ’
‘ it’s not the past if it’s not finished . ’
‘ it would be nice to have something alive to hold on to right now , something to love me , something with a beating heart that i can feel , something to be with me as i sit here , in hell , trying to figure it out . ’
‘ i gave her as much as i had . ’
‘ there is something wrong with me . ’
‘ i’m like an asshole in a sitcom who learns the same fucking lesson every week and this is my life . ’
‘ all of life is slightly dependent on magic . so is death . ’
‘ i go over the mistake in my head a dozen times a day . ’
‘ the key to life is to believe in something that matters , something big and beautiful , something more profound than fame , money . ’
‘ just be in it . you earned it . ’
‘ i am done with all that . and i will not let my past dictate my future . ’
‘ somewhere along the way you broke your own heart and without a heart you can’t get better . ’
‘ you’re not a good killer . obviously . ’
‘ i’m relaxed just knowing that he’s going to be dead soon . ’
‘ your life is supposed to expand . your bed is supposed to have enough room for someone else and when that someone comes along , it’s your job to let them in . ’
‘ he became a cop because of the simplicity of the uniform ; you don’t have to think about what to wear every day . ’
‘ being together is the best feeling in the world , better than sex , better than a red convertible or that first ‘ i love you ’ . ’
‘ i can’t stand the idea of being asleep and missing one second of our life together . ’
‘ the best role models can be the worst role models . ’
‘ life is cruel and the word ‘ love ’ shouldn’t be plastered all over the fucking place . ’
‘ we are perfect together and i am better for knowing you . ’
‘ when you are in love you listen . ’
‘ it’s true what they say about happiness . if you approach life from a place of gratitude , you’re more apt to enjoy things . ’
#sentence starters#ask meme#indie rp#rp meme#book starters#rp sentence meme#sentence starter meme#rp sentence starters#inbox meme#inbox memes#indie starters#rp inbox meme#ask#askbox meme#askbox starters#rp ask#rp ask meme#starters#starter
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34+ Voiceover Roles & 3 Musician Open Calls - Work From Home - Paid
'F*cking Sober' Podcast
22 + Roles
3 Open Calls for Musicians With Their Own Music
PAID WORK FROM HOME NON UNION
Deadline : September 15, 2021 2:00 PM
Somehow9am Productions // F*cking Sober: the first 90 days Podcast
Katie Mack, coord.
:"A call for artists in recovery for the 2nd Season of The Webby Award Winning Podcast Series 'F*cking Sober: the first 90 days.' We are looking for voice over talent and musicians/music producers for 'FS: Shadai.'
'F*cking Sober' is a semi-comedic mostly non-fictional narrative podcast following Shadai’s first 90 days of getting sober. Thirty-five year old Shadai is the black, queer, strong female in advertising— so what if she keeps shots in her bra for between meetings, right? But after a shitshow holiday party, a fuzzy cop encounter, and a disaster presentation with the new big account, Dry January doesn’t seem like such a bad idea. Maybe Dry Forever is better. This is what it looks, acts, and feels like to get f*cking sober. This 8 episode serialized show features music by artists with their own story with recovery.
F*cking Sober Season 1: Anita has received 15k downloads since it’s release in Nov 2020, and received a 2021 Webby Nomination for Best Limited Series, and a Webby Win for Best Writing for a Podcast.
At this time we are only looking to work with artists who have a relationship/understanding of recovery. Please follow instructions for submitting and what to include in the cover letter to be considered! Thank you!
Listen to Season 1 to get the vibe:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/f-cking-sober-the-first-90-days/id1538804959?i=1000499155627
And check out:
www.fckingsoberpodcast.com
@fckingsober90_podcast
More information about Somehow9am Productions & Katie Mack (Producer):
www.somehow9amproductions.com
www.mackstage.com"
Roles
Shadai (Voiceover): Female, 18+WORK FROM HOMEproduction states: "Note: We are only accepting submissions from artists who have their own story in recovery, TY!
35 year old, black, queer, cis gender female attorney with a dry sense of humor, who has strong opinions and shares them sometimes, is a powerhouse and knows it all… until… until she doesn’t.
Please note your experience with improv/comedy in your cover letter
If you have writing experience or are interested in writing please note this in your cover letter. We will be giving writing credits to the right candidate who desires to contribute to the molding of this character."Required Media: Voice Reel
Other Characters (Voiceover): 20-70
"Note: We are only accepting submissions from artists who have their own story in recovery, TY!
We are looking for diversity in every sense of the word, from all genders, to ages, to ethnicities, to lived experiences, to food preferences!! In short, we are looking to cast dope, interesting people.
Looking to cast various characters through out the S2 Shadai, including but not limited to:
Dad (black, army veteran, a dad’s dad)
Mom (black, hyper critical, the opposite of Shadai)
Dana (any ethnicity, work enemy)
Coco (white, work bestie)
JewBoo aka Therapist (Jewish, confidant, motherly, with a special sense of humor)
Miriam (black, best friend and ex-lover who tells it like it is)
Galen (white, gay, best friend who is warm and caring and pushy)
15 other characters
Please note any experience you may have with comedy/improv if any. Please submit your reel along with your cover letter."Required Media: Voice Reel, Cover Letter
Musicians (BIPOC Artists in Recovery) (Voiceover): 18+ music from BIPOC identifying artists.
Musicians (Queer Identifying Artist in Recovery) (Voiceover): 18+ music by Queer Artists.
Musicians (Non-BIPOC/Non-Queer Artists in Recovery) (Voiceover): 18+ music from non-BIPOC or non-Queer Identifying Artists in recovery.
"To be produced over the course of October 2021 - January 2022
Shadai’s commitment is estimated at two hrs/wk. Other characters 30mins.
Musicians, all work should already exist. Please be prepared to send stems or stripped down tracks."
Compensation & Union Contract Details
Stipend: $25 - $75Production states: "Shadai (Lead Character), $550 for full season.
All Other Characters: $25-$50 per episode.
Musicians: $25-$75 per song per episode. Sync license contract."
Seeking talent: Nationwide (United States)
Website:http://www.fckingsoberpodcast.com
======================================
'Rain: Series III'
12 Voiceover Roles
PAID WORK FROM HOME NONUNION
Deadline: September 14, 2021 8:59 PM
JKPRising James Klim, filmmaker
Seeking voiceover talent for "Rain: Series III," a web-series, created in the video game Halo Reach on MCC via Xbox/PC.
"This series will have a total of 13 episodes. I have many characters to cast, 12 specifically. If you wish to learn more about the show, you can check out my documentary series regarding the show.
You can view the first episode here - www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlzPQvJS3og
A little bit about me, I am a freelance filmmaker who actually got into film through making Halo videos as a kid when I was younger. You can check out some of my work here - www.jkprising.com/
I've always wanted to return to my roots & finish a series I was never able to before, but now I have the time to focus on it.
This is a paid position.
Rates depend on each character as some have more lines than others & vice versa. I am not the wealthiest person in the world, but I will to compensate each voice actor for their performance. My budget per character is between $100 - $300. This again, all varies per character.
In this post, there is a video of what the character will look like in the series. I have also attached a single page from a random episode script from the show. The highlighted lines are what the character will say. There will also be non verbal lines highlighted, this is meant to be voiced kind of like an anime, where every movement usually has sounds. Typically, how would you make a sound if you did any of the following, head turn, turns around, surprised gasp, sighs, etc.
Since this a paid gig, I am expecting a professional voice audition & if hired, continued professional audio. This means minimum to no background noise. The audio needs to be crisp."
Roles
Chloe Moody (Voiceover): Female, 18-35WORK FROM HOME29. Voice type: English/United Kingdom accent, polite, doesn't get mad often but when she does, she loses it, anxious, low self esteem, hopeful.
Chloe Moody used to be a psychiatrist, but after the death of her soon to be husband, she spiraled into insanity. She met someone later on in life named Tom Rains, who looked exactly like her dead boyfriend. She became obsessed with him & tried to get with him, which sunk her further into a deep depression. She finally hit rock bottom, which causes her to seek out help from the very people she used to serve. Chloe meets a psychiatrist named Jennifer, who is able to help herself almost fully recover. Chloe eventually accidently runs back into Tom, which triggers Chloe to try one last time. After a final rejection, Chloe comes to the realization that she is not redeemable & decides to take her own life in front of Tom. Chloe's death, triggers a massive event for Tom Rains, which has massive ramifications for the series.
Chloe is a major character and will appear in a couple episodes.Languages:
English
Accents:
British
Australian
Voice Styles:
Soft
Softspoken
Crazy
Compassionate
Sad
Angry
Required Media: Voice Reel
Dark Daryl (Voiceover): Male, 18-40WORK FROM HOME
32, voice type: Very dark presence, evil. sadistic, look at examples like Yami Marik from the Original Yu-Gi-Oh - www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xaa_ycud6o, manic, darkness.
Dark Daryl is the darkness of his original persona, Daryl. Daryl accidentally acquired a powerful technology known as an imperium. This caused Daryl to lose himself to it at some point & was taken over by an alternate personality named, The Professor, which caused tons of damage. When Daryl came back to his senses, the damage had been done & others abandoned him, which caused him to grow angry at something that he didn't consciously do. Daryl once again loses himself to the imperium, which turns into Dark Daryl, a representation of all the anger & hatred he endured over the course of his past uncontrollable actions. Dark Daryl is very aggressive, sadistic & wants to destroy the people who wronged him in the past. Eventually, he comes face to face with Daryl & fights to stay as the one who remains in control, even if that means killing Daryl & anyone who gets in his way.
Dark Daryl is a character who appears in the second half of the show, & becomes the series main villain. He will appear in many episodes.
Languages:
English
Voice Styles:
Aggressive
Angry
Evil
Commanding
Straightforward
Scary
Dangerous
Intimidating
Demonic
Required Media: Voice Reel
Nikki (Voiceover): Female, 18-35 WORK FROM HOME
25. Voice type: Energetic, passionate, caring, open-minded, loving, positive, independent, fighter.
Nikki used to date Tom Rains. She didn't really have much going for her, as she had no ambition at all during that time of her life. After Tom broke up with her, this was quite the shock to Nikki. It caused her to really dive deep within herself & from that moment, she tried to learn more about herself. She discovered a love for storytelling, & so went into journalism. Nikki is now dating Jennifer & they have been together for almost a year. Nikki eventually gets wrapped up in a major conspiracy, which drags many of her friends in with her. She is in for the story of her entire career.
Nikki is a major character and will appear in many episodes.
Languages:
English
Voice Styles:
Comforting
Compassionate
Caring
Amusing
Animated
Brave
Heroic
Required Media: Voice Reel
Talent works remotely with professional recording equipment.
Professional Pay: $100 - $300Pays between $100-$300 depending on character.
Nationwide (United States)
Additional Materials
Website: https://www.jkprising.com/
Nikki Audition.pdf - https://d26oc3sg82pgk3.cloudfront.net/files/media/uploads/casting_call/7f95c65b-ab53-43d3-a66b-9e59d1041acb.pdf
Dark Daryl Audition.pdf - https://d26oc3sg82pgk3.cloudfront.net/files/media/uploads/casting_call/00cfdf46-84c1-4da6-9dee-91c7bcdeed3d.pdf
Chloe Moody Audition.pdf https://d26oc3sg82pgk3.cloudfront.net/files/media/uploads/casting_call/186cbe9e-9c7e-4ce5-bcbe-2407a9dec00b.pdf
#voiceover casting calls#work from home voice over work#music wanted online#jobs for musicians#remote jobs for musicians#music writer jobs#gigs for recovering addicts
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Kamen Rider Info and Ideas (Feel free to ignore)
As a huge fan of Kamen Rider, I always wondered about ways it could be expanded, and maybe not improved so much as become More. So, right now, I am gonna make a list of Kamen Rider Series, starting with Black and RX, and continuing all the way to the Reiwa Era! Everybody clap your hands!! *Cricket noises* Okay, here we go!
Kamen Rider Black, and its sequel, Black RX, details the journey of Kohtaro Minami, or Minami Kohtaro for those who prefer the traditional Japanese naming conventions, on his mission to defeat Gorgom, an ancient tribe/organization that has evolved into a cultic terrorist organization bent on world domination. While still holding to the Showa era’s tradition of having Cyborg Riders, Black and RX were the first in which, aside from Kamen Rider Amazon, the supernatural played a prominent part in the powers of the riders, as Kohtaro and his stepbrother Nobuhiko were the designated heirs to the leader of Gorgom, the Century King, and infused with the relics that contained his power, the Kingstones. Both Kohtaro and Nobuhiko were infused with the Kingstones, in the attempt to convert them into the Villains Black Sun and Shadow Moon, with only Kohtaro managing to escape.
One of the things that I felt could’ve been at least a little better in regards to the series was if Shadow Moon could regain his original self and rejoin the path of justice. It would’ve also been pretty cool if Shadow Moon gained his own upgraded form, which did actually happen in tie-in novels and manga, and if either or both of them gained the ability to unleash a final form that drew upon the power they wielded as the New Century Kings. Ah well, that’s what fanfiction is for!
Kamen Rider Kuuga details the battles of Yusuke Godai, the successor to the ancient warrior of justice, Riku, as the Kuuga. Kuuga’s powers are derived from Growth, allowing him to access a variety of forms and powers based on what he needs to grow into, and can be bolstered by mystical energy sources to ascend even further! Yusuke’s enemies are the Gurongi tribe, ancient monsters who abandoned their humanity to satisfy their love of death and conflict, and wished to have all of humanity become as dark and twisted as them, with the “honor” of being the Gurongi to start the process going to whichever of them managed to win their tournament, in which the Gurongi Tribal-members all battled to the death as a whole.
One of the things that bugged me a little, was that Kuuga never fully evolved all his forms, and that his true final form was even used in his series! I mean, seriously, what!? Once again, budget concerns limit the awesomeness of a series before it can bloom, sigh.
Kamen Rider Agito is the story of Shoichi Tsugami, a young amnesiac who belongs to an offshoot of the human race known as the Agito. Agitos possess incredible psychic powers and exist in a perpetual state of evolution, adapting to the changes in themselves and the world around them at an incredible rate.
My only real beef with this series was the limited number of forms Agito had as compared to Kuuga, and that one of the Extra Riders had the lazy name of Another Agito. You heard me right. All in all, not to bad, but a little frustrating.
Next up, Kamen Rider Ryuki, which also served as part of the inspiration for the list. Honestly, with how much I plan on covering JUST for Ryuki, I’ll probably leave this off after this and pick up more tomorrow. Ryuki is one of the first series in the franchise to fully exploit the nature of multiple riders, and basically invented the concept of Dark Riders, which I will also explain.
Ryuki involves the Rider War, a conflict taking place in the real world, and a parallel realm known as the Mirror World, populated by unfeeling monsters known as, you guessed it, Mirror Monsters, which must constantly kill when in our world in order to remain stable, or at least they are allegedly supposed to. The Rider War was a conflict set up by a man known as Shiro to revive his dead sister, under the guise of a tournament to the death for a reality-warping wish, which Shiro wanted for himself. The war brought together 13, yes you read that right, 13 Riders, all with variances in their styles and abilities. This selfish conflict is partially, if not entirely why I said that introduced Dark Riders properly to the franchise; Dark Riders are individuals who bear the same transformative powers of Kamen Riders, but instead of using them to fight against the wicked and monstrous, are instead put towards their own selfish ends, and none of them are the type of individual you wanna run into in a dark alley.
The Riders of Ryuki derived their power from two things, their Contract Monster, a Mirror Monster that they formed a bond with in order to exist without needing to bring about death, and an Advent Deck, a Deck of Cards that harnessed the power of the Mirror Monster it bonded to and allowed the Riders to survive in the Mirror Realm, which is inherently fatal for humans to be in. One of the key aspects of Advent Cards is how they work, each one draws and harnesses an aspect of the Contract Monster it is connected to, or wields a power specifically to fight other Advent Riders. Now, before I get to my thoughts and ideas, I am going to list each Rider from Ryuki, as well as the nature of their Advent Decks and fighting styles.
Shinji Kido: Kamen Rider Ryuki himself, and contracted to the fierce Dragon-Type Mirror Monster, Dragonredder. With a Dragon on his side, you’d expect him to be the powerhouse of the group, right? HAHAHAHAHA no. Shinji stumbled upon the Rider War by near-complete accident, and, being the nice guy he is, decided if he was going to be a part, he would protect the bystanders from the conflict and ensure as many of the Riders made it out alive as he could. Easier said than done. Out of all the Riders, Ryuki has the least straight-forward fighting style, not helped by his incredible clumsiness, with his deck emphasizing the ability to have as many options as possible; jack of all trades master of none, but better master of none than master of one.
Ren Akiyama: Kamen Rider Knight, and the contract holder of the Bat-Type Mirror Monster, Darkwing. He comes across as aloof, cold even, whose only in it for himself, but in truth he decided to enter the war to save the life of his ill fiance. Knight’s fighting style blends straight-up direct combat, and subterfuge based war tactics, with his deck emphasizing this by providing him with both weapons and special abilities that optimize getting the drop on his foes. Hmm... themed after a bat, a knight, and mixing close combat with dark and spooky tactics. Now where have I seen THAT before?
Masashi Shido: Kamen Rider Scissors, a Dark Rider, and the contractor of the Crab-Type Mirror Monster, Volcancer. A corrupt cop and detective, Scissors took bribes and cuts in illegal dealings, and used his Mirror Monster to liberally dispose of witnesses as he pleased. He ultimately died when his contract was destroyed and Volcancer turned on him. Despite his practices necessitating subterfuge, Scissors’ fighting style is rather extravagant, emulating that of a gladiator, with his deck providing cards that mix heavy combat with putting his enemy into an unfavorable situation to seal the deal, fitting for a backstabber.
Shuichi Kitaoka: Kamen Rider Zolga, one of the neutral and later heroic elements in the war, and the bearer of the contract for the Minotaur-Type Mirror Monster, Magnugigas, a colossal bio-mechanical behemoth. A shady lawyer with a lot of wealth, Zolga was diagnosed with fatal cancer, and desired to become immortal to continue living his lifestyle forever. While initially uncaring and selfish, he ultimately came to see the value in others, and lamented all the criminals that walked free due to his actions, hoping Ryuki would win. Cunning, intellegent, and crafty, Zolga’s fighting style favors both heavy defense and massive firepower, burying an enemy in a storm of blasts while he hunkers down, with his deck further emphasizing this with a bevy of long-distance combat cards and barriers.
Miyuki Tezuka: Kamen Rider Raia, a fortune-teller beyond compare, he enters the war to save lives and honor his deceased friend, and bears the contract of the Stingray-Type Mirror Monster, Evildiver. Raia’s fighting style places heavy importance on movement, offering cards that can offer him superior movement, and uses a whip as his principle weapon.
Jun Shibaura: Kamen Rider Gai, an utterly selfish and monstrous beast of a man, he wields the contract of the Rhino-Type Mirror Monster, Metalgelas. A prodigy of computers and gaming, Gai sees the death match that is the Rider War as nothing more than a game, and the fighters as players he can wipe out at his leisure. Gai’s fighting style is a straight up rush of overwhelming force, with his cards emphasizing interfering with his opponent’s options to force them to fight him directly and his brutal power of himself and his Contract Monster gives him an edge.
Takeshi Asakura: Kamen Rider Ouja, and the main Dark Rider of the series, holder of the contract for the Snake-Type Mirror Monster, Venosnaker. A sadistic monster to his core, Takeshi killed his own family as a child, and left a bloody trail in his wake for years, remorselessly cutting down anyone who falls in his path in his bloodlust. Despite his seemingly simple minded nature, Ouja is immensely cunning, favoring a sadistic fighting style that emphasizes causing as much pain to his enemy as he can before they die at his hands, and he is far from afraid to get his hands dirty. Ironically, Ouja has one of the weaker decks in the war, bearing limited options to fight with, Ouja thrives due to his sheer brutality, fighting ability, and utter ruthlessness. “Fun” fact, unlike the other Riders, Takeshi never realized that a wish was up for grabs, he was just having a good time! When he finally learned that the winner got a wish, he decided his wish would be to have ANOTHER Rider War, so he could kill another pack of warriors! Ouja’s deck does have two solid advantages over the other riders; Ouja possesses extra Contract Cards, meaning he can add other Mirror Monsters and their powers to his deck, ultimately deciding to save them to take the Mirror Monsters of the Riders he kills, with his other big trick his Unite Card, which allowed him to COMBINE his Mirror Monsters into the horrifying Chimera-Type Mirror Monster, Genocider (ain’t that a name).
Odin: Kamen Rider Odin, a Rider not designated Dark only due to the fact he doesn’t have enough of a mind to be one, and wielder of the Phoenix-Type Mirror Monster as his Contract, Goldphoenix. Odin is unusual, in that he is essentially a puppet, a brainwashed shell that acts as Shiro’s representative in the war that occupies whatever body Shiro gives the Contract to. Out of all the Riders, Odin has the greatest immediate strength, allowing him to overwhelm just about anything in ideal situations, and if things go wrong, Odin (along with Shiro) can REWIND TIME to reset the war until Shiro gets the outcome he wants, only giving up when he accepts that he won’t be able to bring his sister back.
Satoru Tojo: Kamen Rider Tiger, a man who wants to be a hero, and wields the power of the Tiger-Type Mirror Monster, Destwilder. Tiger is a broken individual, lacking a LOT of basic understanding in regards to people, he wavers between good and evil in his desire to be a hero due to his incomprehension of what it means to be heroic, ultimately becoming a hero when he selflessly sacrificed his life to save a father and son about to be hit by an oncoming truck, finally realizing what it truly meant to be a human in his last moments. A highly inexperienced fighter, Tiger often lost, which didn’t help his instability, forcing himself to rely on ambushes to win, his deck favored close-range melee and offered him support in the form of ice attacks.
Mitsuru Sano: Kamen Rider Imperer, a self-styled mercenary rider, and wielder of the multi-type contract allowing him to command the power of the Gazelle-Type Mirror Monsters, with Gigazelle serving as the leader of his horde. Imperer was raised to believe that wealth was what was most important in life, completely missing the fact that his idea to be a mercenary in the Rider War was impossible as all but one of the contestants must die for it to complete and you cannot quit either. After falling in love, Mitsuru seemed to be realizing that there is more to life than money, he tragically died before he could act on his new views, trapped in the Mirror World, reaching out to the image of his love, screaming in fear. Imperer’s fighting style makes use of boxing, and bum-rushing his enemies with his massive swarm of Contract Monsters.
And, because I am starting to grow tired and this is REALLY LONG, I am gonna finish this later today before I burn out.
#kamen rider#kamen rider franchise#kamen rider series#kamen rider ryuki#observations#feel free to ignore this
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Looking at that joke grid of what every teenage show should have, and Glee matched them all apart from a beach episode, do you think it’s true to say they took on every single issue possible. And never actually dealt with any topic particularly well?
And that after season 2 really it became a mess as they were trying to cover all lot of stuff, as well as a lot of music? Was there a point when the plot became secondary to the music, and the plot was added after the songs chosen?
To answer your second question first... they always had themed episodes, even in season 1, and sometimes they worked, and sometimes they didn’t. I’d say things like the Break Up episode really worked. Other times, like Michael, it felt like it was stretching. It really depended. :)
Okay, uh.... you know what, let’s go through the bingo card (post found here) and see how well Glee did...
Pregnancy Scare: Well, not getting into Quinn, because that’s Teen Pregnancy, which I think is a different beast. The actual tropey one is a scare, which was had by Rachel Berry in season 4. And it was handled terribly. Not only was it saddled with the tired -- who is the baby daddy drama -- it was forgotten, literally, an episode later. Bad, show. Bad.
We Won The Game (Literal): They won the big game in Preggers and The Sue Sylvester Shuffle, both of which worked for not being a sports show.
We Won The Game (Figurative): My god, every time they had a competition episode... some were handled well, others not so much...
Parents Get a Storyline: Not very often though, but Burt and Carole’s romance and partnership remain a staple of the show.
Fight!!!: Good god, this was, like, every other episode. I think the most amusing was when it was less about physical fights (Finn/Puck; Quinn/Santana or Santana/Rachel) and more about Diva-Offs!
He Cheated: So, I know we all collectively looked to Blaine on this one, but pretty much every character on this show cheated in way or another. Again, some of it worked, some of it didn’t, and I don’t think Blaine’s was the worst one of the bunch.
School Dance: You know, it’s surprising we didn’t have more of these. Prom Queen - good; Promasaurus - meh; Sadie Hawkins - relatively decent; Tina in the Sky with Diamonds - not good.
Someone’s Gay: I mean... they were all gay. This is why we were watching the show, right?
Celebrity Cameo: Thinking about it, I think most of them worked? Most of them. I think Brittany Spears was way overhyped for what it was, and Lindsey Lohan really didn’t need to happen.
Someone Gets Arrested: Sure, Puck did, that was almost always going to happen. But what is interesting is that we didn’t have that very special... chased down by the cops thing that often happens in these shows -- and you know what, that’s fine.
Overly Involved Authority Figure: Good god, to the detriment of the show itself.
Girl Loses Her Virginity But Is Conflicted About It: Was Rachel that conflicted about it? I actually think Glee handled sex much better than most teen shows, tbh -- they had some great narratives centered around it, and with exception of the stupid ‘your first one is special’ stuff that got saddled onto Finn with Santana, I really liked a lot of the conversations being had -- especially about Marley and Mercedes, both of whom had valid reasons for not wanting to have sex.
Issues Episode (That Is Never Mentioned Again): Oh, god, I feel like this happened all the time. The catfishing and Ryder’s abuse was definitely up there, but school shootings and spousal abuse are also up there. And yeah, these were usually the weaker storylines because they often felt out of place.
Underage Drinking: BIOTA was actually fantastic, and I’m kind of surprised they never really went back to that well, but it’s nice that no one developed into an alcoholic (and if they were it was a joke; re: April Rhodes).
Vague But Menacing School Project: I mean, ha, every one of Will’s theme weeks? Did they ever do projects for other classes?? Did they take other classes???
Love Triangle: I mean, you need a whole damn chart to unknot all the relationship threads. Pick one, and I’ll tell you how well it worked (probably not well because love triangles don’t work).
I Think I’ve Heard That Song: What trope is this exactly? Clearly, though, a show of musical covers is going to have a song you’ve heard. And you know what, most of them weren’t as bad anti-glee people wanted them to be.
Eating Disorder: AAAHHHHHH Marley’s eating disorder was the worst. I am glad they dropped this.
They’re On a Beach: It is a damn shame we never got a summer episode. We did get some pool related things, and didn’t Sam model something on a beach set?
Drug Addiction: Not really done (probably for the better) -- the show shied away from it, but I love that you can bring up Vitamin D cause that, and Sandy Ryerson’s Weed Empire, is the closest the show gets to tackling drugs. Are’t drugs hilarious kids?
We Lost The Big Game (figuratively): Ahh, the rest of the competition episodes, usually done better than the ones that they won.
Clique Showdown: I mean, that was Ryan Murphy’s thing, right? Was it good? Lol, I have no idea. The Bullying story with Karofsky was great. The mean girl schtick got old really fast, though.
Admission of Love: Kurt... there is a moment when you say to yourself, oh there you are... I’ve been looking for you forever. (haha -- I think a lot of characters got this, and it was one of Glee’s better tropes.)
Homoerotic Male Bonding: Well, um, yes. Again, was this not what the show was about?
Slut with a Heart of Gold: I loved that Sam was brought up -- yes!
School Shooting: Ug. I think the ten minutes of actual tension during that episode was good. Everything else related to that plot line was not.
How’d Glee do, guys?
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