#you gotta do smth to lighten the mood !!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

coconut-cluster · 4 years

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Hello! How are you today? You wouldn't happen to have some spare rambles, would you? Have a nice day!

Hi! I’m pretty good and of course I do!!!

I know I post about it like constantly but I’m really, genuinely so happy that Roman fits so well with ADHD traits. I grew up feeling like I was a ‘bad’ smart kid because i was in these advanced classes, but I had trouble finishing work on time and understanding directions quickly (especially with math) and not daydreaming/doodling in class when everyone else seemed to get along fine, and I always felt like I was just like... too much when it came to socializing?

^^ So seeing a character like Roman, who’s creative and enthusiastic and loud and sensitive and sometimes in his own head a lot, who’s a little awkward because of it, who obviously struggles with insecurity and self-doubt, who has expectations and standards he feels like he can’t quite meet even though he’s trying, it’s really nice!!!!

Also I love him

Also on that note, seeing a character like Logan who has trouble with discerning which of his emotions are appropriate and when, who seems to struggle with being numb because it’s less messy or overwhelming versus being scared of losing all connection to the feelings that define a lot of humanity, ESPECIALLY because Logan tends to embody the ‘middle kid mediator’ vibe - I really appreciate that yknow??

or maybe that’s me projecting

but the fact that I can project all that so much onto him and still have it fit with his character is nice

also the fact that he likes psychology so much is spectacular

and I love him as well

bro how interesting would the next episode be if it started out with Thomas just feelin kinda off? and Patton pops up like “have u been takin a break like Janus suggested? doin some self care?” and Thomas is like yeah

so they call Virge like “how are u feeling?? anything wrong?” and Virge is like “the world is imploding in on itself and death is inevitable. so nothing worse than usual”

so then Lo pops up all informatively like he does like “I thought we’ve covered this kind of thing before?? in how many different ways can you feel aimlessly ‘off’? this is getting ridiculous Thomas please for the love of god consider therapy”

and then they all like discuss for a while - maybe them suggesting, hey, you could watch a movie or write or sing or smth /creative/ to lighten your mood and Thomas just can’t find any excitement or inspiration for it - and then finally one of them is like “....well where’s Roman then”

and they call him up - i’d like to think he doesn’t come when Thomas or Patton try - and he doesn’t look out of the ordinary, but there’s no dramatic pose or witty one-liner when he shows up. he just kind of looks... resigned. like he’ll attend to what they need of him but he’d like to go back to where he was as soon as possible.

and he does just that. they ask him how he is - he looks curious at the question, even a little hopeful that they’re asking, then visibly deflates when Logan explains that Thomas feels bad and they want to know if Roman is the cause - and he assures them he’s fine - just fine, no poetry or wordplay, just... fine - and waits for Thomas to accept the answer, then sinks back down. just like that. no fanfare.

(and then Virgil and maybe even Logan too are understandably confused about how weird he was being, and Patton and Thomas reluctantly explain the recent events, at which point Virgil would probably flip about Janus and so on so forth)

anyway how cool would that be :)

((i planned that ‘virgil flipping out’ scene and a subsequent argument in DETAIL the other night alksjdalkfl))

i know the fandom jokes a lot about roman stans and their roman angst but personally i gotta say, there’s a lot of catharsis in making a character you relate to go through something hard when you know you’re in control of the story and especially the ending

I don’t know if this is just me, bc it’s definitely kind of irrational or weird ig, but sometimes I project an issue onto characters and then get so frustrated when the comments are all about how funny or in-character it is. and I know that it’s weird because like... I made the post connecting my issues to the character, so of course random people on the internet aren’t going to see it as anything more than a headcanon?? but every time it happens I kinda feel like I want to yell forever

like that post about Virgil having insomnia? I wrote that at like three am when I was shaky and tired after staring at my ceiling for hours and I was SO irrationally annoyed that most of the comments were completely unattached to what I felt like I was saying with it. which makes no sense and I know that. so I just added some prinxiety and then a joke to it and called it a night

anyway!!! vent over lol

(although actually last thing on that note, don’t disregard or downplay your feelings for the comfort of others. obviously like be mindful that not everyone has the emotional space to listen and process every issue you come to them with, but you’re allowed to be upset and angry and frustrated and whatever else without adding an ‘lol’ or ‘but it’s not a big deal’ or whatever to the end. people have emotions and it’s okay to feel them)

NOW anyway

we should let the sides be archers more. that’d be dope

I think Remus should get a cool weird dramatic capelet to coordinate with Janus. like that one moth-lookin french cape. i’ll reblog with a picture because I know I have it saved because it’s rad

I cannot harp on enough about how sensitive Roman seems to music and art and literature and cinema and whatever other form of creation you can think of. you know those books/movies that are like physically moving and touching? The Half of It, All the Bright Places, Turtles All the Way Down, Mosquitoland, etc?? I think he’d be someone who watches/reads those and just. holds on to them. forever afterwards

okay i think i have to end there bc it’s one am and i’m tired but I hope those were good rambles anon!!! i hope your day/night is lovely!!!!

#ask #roman sanders #logan sandesr #remus sanders #janus sanders #virgil sanders #long post #Anonymous

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igotyouniverse · 5 years

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21 Questions Game

tagged by: @steamyjaehyun (idk why tumblr won’t let me tag you!)

rules: answer 21 questions and tag 21 people you want to know better

1. nicknames: it’s Kath here on Tumblr, in real life it’s my childhood nickname from my family/parents which is German, so i won’t write it here, haha. My close friends usually just shorten my (long) name.

2. zodiac sign: scorpio!

3. height: 165cm (imsmol)

4. hogwarts house: proud Slytherin!

5. last thing googled: i googled the translation to a word

6. favourite artists: kpop: bang yongguk, bts, nct, stray kids, hyuna, kard, zico, ateez, seventeen, sunmi, mamamoo, clc, (g)idle non-kpop: stick to your guns, architects, parkway drive, fabian römer, jesse barnett (he goes as wish u were here and trade wind, and is the vocalist of styg), corey taylor, breaking benjamin, five finger death punch, slipknot, shawn mendes, eminem

ok i really, really, really love music.

7. song stuck in my head: wow, i have like 23734 songs stuck in my head 24/7, that’s why i’m listening to any kind of music 24/7.

8. favourite time of the day: i really love sunsets

9. favourite colour: black

10. following: 244

11. followers: 76 (i’m still a very very smol blog)

12. do i get asks: on this blog, I rarely get asks but they always lighten up my mood. on my main I always get asks from my best friend hehe

13. amount of sleep: uff, about 2-3 hrs a night

14. favourite number: -

15. there’s no question 15

16. dream job: okay, so, if we really go for a dream (smth unrealistic) I gotta go with dancer, actress, author. for a job I can actually do later, it’s something social - something where I can work with people. Which I’m going to to after I finished university.

17. instruments: unfortunately I can’t play any instruments .. but I always dreamed of playing the piano, guitar and drums.

18. language: english, german (mother tongue) and a tiny bit of spanish (i can still talk some basic stuff), i’m about to start learning a new language at uni but i cant decide!! (greek, korean, chinese or japanese)

19. favourite song: i have dozens of favourite songs. So I’m going with my current ones: married to the noise - stick to your guns, 4:44am - bang yongguk, crushed - parkway drive, amber - stick to your guns, gone with the wind - architects, snuff - slipknot, fake love - bts, tear - bts, kein mensch mehr - fabian römer, kalenderblätter - fabian römer .. (man i could defintely go on forever omg)

20. random facts: I’m 21 (soon 22) yrs old, I’m a sucker for Aussies. Like, seriously, I can’t even say why. Aussies are so incredibly sexy to me imamess, my MBTI Type is INFJ. I’ve known my best friend for 7-8 yrs and she is my everything - we really went through everything together and I can’t find words to describe my love for her. I really like gaming! Music is my life!! I’m still missing my cat every day and I still cry when I see her picture on my night stand (she sadly passed away in may). I started listening to Kpop 8-9 years ago.

21. aesthetic: grey & black. Maybe a slight tint of white or a midnight blue or wine red.

tagging: I don’t really have mutuals/friends on this account so I’m tagging my best friend @ithilinne and @mingiholic my beloved sammie!

#game #about me

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frankensteindotpdf · 5 years

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TGWDLM and Love

Okayyyy so I was supposed to write an assignment on how a romantic movie expresses love and I asked my prof if I could write about tgwdlm instead and he said yes?? Bless him so anyway I made wayyyy too many notes for a 500-600 word assignment lmao so I felt like i might as well post em here… this is a compilation of every time Paul and Emma interact pretty much lol its hella long (im not kidding it’s like 7 pages rip) so under the cut :)

finally done, @isaidsinggoddammit!!

Sidenote: There’s very mixed capitalization as my brain flipped between tumblr mode and assignment mode so excuse that lmao)

Coffee Shop Part 1

Tips well to impress her

Listens to her vent-she already feels comfy enough to rant to him or, alternatively, she’s just a really open person (but shhh she has to trust him to some extent)

Insults others he doesnt know too well but he knows she doesnt like, again to impress

Tries to act indifferent towards everyone else (and tough)

Almost says smth romantic (“Some things are worth it”) but backtracks when she looks confused

In this scene, he tries to act cool but is clearly super nervous. One thing I really like is how he never acts too cool for her, like a lotta people do. He’s genuinely interested in what she has to say and never pretends otherwise, and also never pretends to be interested to get her to like him. I just really love how good he is at listening

Cup of Roasted Coffee/ Cup of Poisoned Coffee

When he panics he goes to Beanies to get a coffee and relax (wake up)

He turns to Emma (subconsciously?) for comfort

Freaks out when she sings (for good reason)

Emma remembers him (“Paul, right?... You’re the guy who doesn’t like musicals”)

Doesnt seem to notice how weird he’s acting

Continues to vent

He pulls her away from the counter to explain what’s going on

Paul finds it important to tell her-she’s the first person he admits it to

Him venting to her like she does to him? Trying to connect in a similar way? Im reading too much into that

He holds her there while explaining, she has to find an excuse to pull away

She thinks he’s crazy-keeps glancing at him during the song (he looks terrified)

Seems concerned for him

He switches between nervously staring at her and anxiously staring into the void (mood)

She turns to him at the “end” of the song and comes near him in the middle

She runs to paul when they start singing

They grab each other

He tells her to run, pushes her forward and shifts so he’s between her and the aliens

This scene is reeeally creepy from Emma’s perspective like oh my gosh can you imagine a man yelling at you (not at you but at your singing but still) and pulling you away from your work and then holding you still when you try to leave??? Anxiety to the max poor babe but also i get paul’s side can you imagine seeing the whole apocalypse beginning and it’s so weird no one would believe you if you tried to tell them? Poor bb. There’s also a lot of things that come up later: the ways he holds emma in this scene is the same way he holds her later one, later it’s to comfort her but this time it’s more to calm himself… he also pulls her to a better spot like he does later on

Trash Bin Scene

He leads her away-he knows the neighbourhood better

Tries learning about her (you like film?) (cmon paul bad timing)

(at trash) hold hands, she grabs his shirt while panicking

He holds her firmly by the shoulders to calm & comfort (parallels Cuppa)

Emma instinctively grabs Paul’s arm when Bill pops out

“Emma stays with us”-stands up to ted even though he looks pretty scared of him

(sidenote-what did ted do to Paul? The poor boy looks straight up terrified the first time he shows up)

Emma looks real confused about “latte hottay” but she never brings it up

“Paul!” when he runs to Charlotte-gestures at Paul near end of song

Paul tends to comfort people by grabbing their shoulders/putting a hand on their back (Emma of course but also Charlotte and Bill- has a looser hold on them than Emma)

Here they’re already starting to react to danger by reaching for each other and it’s v cute also bless paul i just really like how he calms people down he’s so good and pure

Hidgens’ Fortress Part 1

They trust Emma enough to go to Hidgens’ place (not like they had many other options)

Men™ typically trusted for “strong” stuff-Ted and Bill cuff Sam

Paul stands up for Bill-such a protective boy (could also be doing it to look cool for Emma but tbh it doesnt seem like it ill bring this up again later)

Paul listens intently to Emma’s venting

He smiles, nods, asks qs and repeats phrases she says

Its obvious he genuinely cares

Emma’s v comfy with him-they have an easy chem when Paul relaxes

Emma progressively shares deeper shit as she becomes more comfortable around paul

Paul makes jokes to lighten the mood, but not in a disrespectful way

Seems more nervous when bringing topics to himself

She listens just as politely as he does

“Whoa thats like your origin story...so I guess I’m the supervillain” “I dont think of you like that at all, Emma.” Cutest, Softest smiles on both of them my heART “Listen, Paul”-she was about to confess her love dammit charlotte

I’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: Paul is such a good listener. I dont know why i find this so cute but their convos are so perfect like he asks qs so he knows exactly what she’s talking about (“what’s a coatimundi?” “Oh, did she smoke a lot of pot?”) and he repeats back phrases she says which shows that he’s genuinely listening like...so many characters (and people irl, lets be real) just pretend to listen to get what they want but he cares so much about what she has to say i just cant stop talking about it it’s so cute also how he seems so comfortable when she’s talking and then starts showing sign of nervousness again when the convo turns to him? Pure mood

Join Us And Die

Both jump behind chair when Charlotte and Sam show up

Emma clings to Paul’s arm + hides behind him

She steps out “charlotte?”

Paul pulls her back when sam approaches

Paul puts himself between Emma and Sam

Emma puts her back to Paul and grabs his arm

Paul pulls Emma away by her arm (“What’s wrong with her shirt?”)

Emma’s caught up in the gore, Paul is relatively level-headed

He keeps an arm around her

Emma steps away from paul to yell at Sam +Char (“He has a daughter!!”)

Instinctively reaches for Paul when Char gets shot (and later looks back at paul a couple of times when shook at prof hidgens)

Alright they do this whenever aliens show up so imma just talk about it here: this part was in my assignment so 1 lets hope it doesnt get flagged as plagiarism and 2 i could rant about this all day.

Basically Paul fulfills the traditional masculine role as protector and leader. Whenever smth dangerous shows up, he has one hand on her (on her shoulder, arm or the small of her back)-both reassuring them that someone else is there and making it easier for him to move her-which he does lots. He pulls her behind him or pushes her forward (away from the infected), leading her to where he thinks is safest. He always puts himself between her and the aliens, leading her to a safer spot. Emma tends to get distracted (emotional female stereotype) and paul is the one to move them both to safety (strong stoic man stereotype). To be fair, he is a lot bigger than emma and would probs have an easier time in a fight (tho i dont doubt that emma would be v i c i o u s) Emma tend to cling to Paul’s arm when she gets scared (which is really cute)

Hidgens’ Fortress Part 2

Emma adds to Paul’s plan- taps on his arm to move him

Paul steps back in front of her- i always found this weird, he totally blocks her from the conversation like why

She steps back out to roast ted

Paul looks at Emma when Ted @s him-now here’s where I could see him standing up for Bill to impress emma again. It’s not the only reason, but i do think it’s a contributing factor (and probably was before too cuz lets be real, when your crush is around you gotta act tough) of course he wants to protect his bff but he’s super anxious around ted so wanting to look brave for emma gives him that extra push he needs. Alternatively, he looks at Emma as a way to calm himself down before saying smth scary (which is adorable)

Emma wants to help but is called back to help with the lab

This is another thing i find super interesting-wouldnt more people around make it more likely he gets stopped? Did he want an audience (more than just ted) cuz i guess that’s understandable but in that case why didnt he wait a little longer to see if they came back? Idk it just seemed weird to me (also the whole “nooo female cant go out where it’s dangerous” even though it’s more like “oh emma’s the only one i know here can she not leave” wait actually that’s probably it lmao he just didnt wanna be alone with ted ok relatable nvm )

“Hey, Paul?” grabs arms (paul reciprocates) she’s real nervous for him leaving-relates to how much he hates musicals

I find that really cute cuz it’s showing once again how much they listen to each other and idk i just really like that about them

Grabs his face and pulls him close-he pulls her hands down to look her in the eyes to tell her he’ll stay safe

He doesn’t kiss her-super interesting! She pulled him close like that (which coulda been a sign to kiss her) and this was a pretty emotionally charged moment which a kiss would have fit - Paul hates kisses hc?

Not Your Seed + General (technically, just a little note)

Paul holds Emma tight with 2 hands, but keeps 1 hand free when holding others (ie bill and charlotte)

Only tells General about Emma, not Ted or the Prof (tho to be fair, he hates ted and barely knows the prof but it’s interesting how he doesnt even say he has “friends”, just Emma)

America Is Great Again

Paul saves emma and Ted

“Should I take this chair?” asks paul to lead

Emma holds Paul’s arm when they run

She tries to pry “Greg”’s arm off Paul + tries to get Ted to help-not strong enough

“Thank you Emma”-she freed him/killed Greg? I wanna know what happened (i tweeted @ jon, lauren and nick asking, so far jon just liked it we’ll see if anyone answers)

Runs behind Emma + pushes her forward “run, emma, run!”-Emma grabs for Paul, he steps in front

He pulls her through Robert+Corey and turns her around

She pulls him away from the General-paul usually does the pulling to safety

Paul doesnt notice when Emma is grabbed by Ted (lmao i get that he’s a little busy but it still seems odd)

She struggles with 1, 3 are on Paul (not a sexist thing, she’s tiny and also Paul is the main character and the aliens know it plus they gotta do that cool lift thing)

Emma grabs gun + shoots the General, grabbing Paul-”Paul! The helicopter! Cmon!”

Usually Paul does that stuff, but emma takes the protective role more in the 2nd half of this song

Basically we have the classic paul protecting emma stuff but now also the emma protecting paul which is good and fresh and i love...the way she tries to protect paul is different than how he protects her. She yells more frantically, and also is more of trying to lead him whereas paul yells to get her attention and physically moves her himself

Helicopter Scene

He helps her onto the heli, back to his usual protective self

Keeps one hand on the back of her seat the whole time (aww he’s stabilizing himself physically cuz the copter’s shaky and emotionally cuz he’s closer to Emma)

“Emma, seatbelts” he reaches up to help her into her seat-he kicks the gun to save them

“Emma? Emma?” immediate response is to call out to her-that boy was literally awake less than a second before worrying about her i love him

Runs to her when he sees her

“”This is what seatbelts are for” in this scene he seems really like...over it? Idk if anyone else got that he just seemed really intent on destroying the meteor instead of anything to do with Emma… before saving their lives was priority but also spending time with her, here he nods like he’s trying to rush her and does not seem excited to kiss her (again, Paul hates kisses? ok that was a rant that got ahead of my notes but just-) this scene is weird to me like maybe he’s trying to rush to stop the meteor so they can be together after and like not die idk anymore

He reaches out for her, jumping away when she cries out in pain

The rest of the scene he has his hands hovering a few inches away from her, very protective but also very scared of hurting her

Emma comes up with the solution, Paul has to do it cuz she’s hurt (weak gal, strong man, injured person knows secret to survival and tells strong boi how to do it tropes)

“Hey, Paul?” slides over to him-he gingerly supports her back (scared to hurt her)

He shushes her to calm her while talking cuz she’s in pain- ok, maybe its less about “gotta get out of here” and more about “she’s hurt really badly and needs help asap, i gotta destroy that meteor so i can get help” ok that makes sense im dumb lmao

Emma is first to ask out + kiss me? + pulling him in by his tie- breakin stereotype of man making first move

Then the little “..okay..” after she asks him to kiss her...maybe he wanted it to be romantic aww he wanted them to have a real cute first kiss and this wasnt what he had planned (or he just doesn’t like kisses cuz like he looks so uncomfortable there’s gotta be a reason”

He doesnt wanna kiss her cuz of the blood (weak) and is happy to leave-this part is what throws me off most he just like runs on outta there with no hesitation but he loves her?? I dont get it

Dont really need a rant here cuz i did a lotta ranting in the points… excuse my little journey of discovery there lmao I was just confused at first cuz at face value he seems really different, super hell bent on getting out of there whereas in every other scene he pays way more attention to Emma. I suppose it’s because he knows he has to destroy the meteor asap so he can get her help, i just didnt catch that. His motivations seemed very different in this scene to me and i couldnt figure out why

Theory time

Now here’s the fun part-i saw a theory somewhere that Paul can only get infected because he has a true goal now, he really wants to end up with Emma. In What Do You Want, Paul? Mr. Davidson is trying to find out what he wants to use it as motivation to make him more susceptible to the virus/make him sing a song, but since Paul doesn’t want anything clearcut he cant be infected. Now, since Paul wants Emma, he has a goal and smth to fight for but also smth to sing about. The very reason he’ trying to save the world becomes the reason he fails.

HOWEVER. His goal could just as easily be saving the world cuz he literally doesnt bring emma up once? Like i get he’s preoccupied but idk if he’s about to die i feel like he’d at least mention her (unless he’s hoping they think she died and wont go looking for her if he fails) idk their romance is adorable until the scene before this and then these 2 scenes make it feel really off for me

Okay now onto the most fun scene >:) -since there’s so many details i separated them into actions and lyrics

Inevitable (Actions)

“Are you sure there weren’t any other survivors?” :(

“PEIP would like to see it become smth more” because she’s the love interest and they’re supposed to end up together ahhh it’s the alien talking

She grabs his arms to look him in the eyes then pulls him in for a hug (the cutest)

She’s v reluctant to believe it at first “Paul?” She’s still smiling for the first line

Slowly she starts to let herself see what’s happening “Paul, you’re scaring me”

She knows he’s infected but she’s trying her hardest to believe he could be playing a cruel joke

He has power over her physically- holds her where he wants her while they’re dancing

He dances with her at first, gestures to her to move closer, talks to her, moves towards dancing at her instead of with

He blocks her exit, pulls her to where he wants her and ignores her for part

This is where you can really tell he’s different. Paul would never ignore Emma, and he straight up ignores her to sing and dance

He points at her and then goes back to ignoring her

Emma starts sobbing and really trying to run

Emma is dragged to the center of the stage sobbing because she cant do anything

He drops character in credits, waving and smiling to the audience; she doesnt

He’s got physical power over her (strength) but also cuz he’s backed by all the aliens who can move her where she’s supposed to go

Inevitable (lyrics)

“Emma, I’m sorry, you lost.” couldnt kill aliens

“Lost your way” didnt want to join them

“I made it” ‘This is the life that I chose” “I’m still the man you trust” “what if the only choice is you had to sing to survive” “Put words to the lyrics and you’re playing the game now” -maybe he’s faking it (i also heard someone mention the fact that he sings in his natural voice and not the higher one he used for the Alien Brain in Let It Out which is a good catch) (also someone else brought up the fact that he was mostly singing reprises, maybe because he couldnt think up his own tune/entirely original lyrics?)

“It’s inevitable for us”-because she’s the love interest, it’s was inevitable that they’d wind up together

“Show me those jazz hands” He’s trying to convince her to join of her own free will

“or i might be inclined to plant my seed” but is willing to do it by force if she wont

This song is super interesting because of the parallels-he holds her the same way he did in previous songs, pulls and pushes her across the stage like before, but this time it’s turned against her. What was once meant as protection is now being used to force her to join the dance I talked more about this in my assignment but i dont wanna get too close to what i wrote before because it could get flagged for plagiarism and i do not want that so imma reblog this post alter and add my assignment for more info (if yall want anyway)

The lyrics could hint at Paul faking it, and it definitely appears that way (especially with the face he makes at “Im still the man you trust) but i think the part in the middle where he just kind of breaks off to dance really kills that idea for me. Even if he was trying to trick the aliens, he could have kept closer to Emma like he does every other time they’re in danger, and the fact that he straight up ignores her and lets the aliens move her around like that is just not in his character so apologies but i believe our man is gone

Also, regarding the theories that Emma is infected because of the beginning; I could see that happening, but in that case, why didnt she break character at the end? I have absolutely zero idea how/if the intro song fits into the story but idk i feel like she should’ve acted like the rest of them if she really was infected but on the other hand i really like the heartbreaking theory that they’re all infected and Paul just has to keep reliving the story of how he failed again and again for all eternity like ouch? But also? Its great in a painful way??

Um yeah so that’s that for my ranting (my 3 pages of notes became 7 pages with the rants included so sorry about that i just had so much to sayyyy

TLDR: paul and emma are cute thanks for coming to my ted talk

#tgwdlm #the guy who didn't like musicals #starkid #team starkid #analysis #my poor friends have to deal with this 24/7 #i tried to channel it all into this lmao #um yeah i never analyze stuff so im sure smth is off #also im v v dumb so i probably missed obvious things #but yeah #its soooo long im so sorry #also spoilers....obviously??

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chanylol · 6 years

Text

Childhood friend!Minhyuk (1/?)

You guys knew each other since kindergarten

It all started with Minhyuk bringing an action figure with him and the minute you saw it you were like wOW

You decided to keep him company since you wanted to play with it too and he was like okay cool

But you ended up breaking it

He was mad at you for like a week or two and he still won't forgive you

But somehow this event made you become friends

In elementary you always shared or traded your food

And this friendship has been going on for years and now you two ended up being the seniors in high school

And today was the first day

You couldn't really believe that it was your last year going to school

You quickly packed your things and headed outside to already get greeted by Minhyuk

It's gotten a tradition for him always picking you up so you can go to school together

Seeing him waiting for you made you realise one thing:

This is the last year it's going to be like this

You shake your head to forget these thoughts, since it's still a whole year (gotta stay optimistic)

On your way, the two of you chatted about the same as always, but you still enjoyed it

Arriving at the school gates, you already noticed people shipping you two

It always has been like this, your friends were asking you why you're not dating all the time

You always brushed it off

"He's my best friend, I could never date him, I know him too well"

You meant it back then, but you noticed about half a year ago that your feelings actually did change

At first you were hoping that you were just confused or something

And you were sure that everything would get back to normal

But it did not

Even though you didn't want to, you had to admit to yourself one thing:

You've fucking fallen for your best friend.

When you arrived in the classroom, you two parted for the first time today

He joined his other friends and you did the same

And while the teachers all did the same speech concerning your last year you almost slept in tbh

But there was one event that made you resist

"Sorry, I'm late..."

You turned your head to see who managed to fail at being on time on the first day

And to your surprise the face wasn't a familiar one

The teacher informed your class about the new student who just moved into your town

And of course the only left free seat was the one next to you

So he sat down and everything was kinda awkward

You just decided to try to sleep again but the boy stopped you

"Uhm.. What's your name?"

It took you a while to get that he talked to you

So you looked up to him and you noticed that his face was pretty fucking close to you and he had that somehow cute and curious expression

In that moment he just looked like a puppy to you

It was a bit overwhelming so you couldn't help but stutter

"(Y/n).."

When you told him it looked like his eyes sparkled a bit but maybe it was just your imagination

"I feel weird asking this but can you show me around after class? I even forgot where the exit is, heh.."

You nodded "Of course"

After more or less listening what the teacher had to say you noticed that you didn't even know the name of the guy you just planned to share the break with

You looked at him again, a bit shy

"What's your name by the way?"

"Oh, I'm Sanha"

He softly smiled at you while answering

"Ah" was all what you were able to say

And while you two had this short conversation you felt like someone was watching you the whole time

The next thing you remembered was somebody waking you up from your slumber

"Heeey, you need to show me around~"

But you just groaned in annoyance

Sanha still somehow managed to make you get up

And when you stood up you were sh00k for a second because he was so tALL

You wanted to hide the fact that you were a bit overwhelmed but he instantly mocked you for you being small

In response you stomped on his foot

And then you guided him around school

You showed him the exit 3 times so he knows how to get outside this prison

Hanging out with him was pretty fun actually, so you were kinda disappointed when you heard the bell ringing

After some more boring classes you were waiting for Minhyuk at the gates

When Sanha left you waved him goodbye

Shortly after your bff appeared and you went on your way home

But you could tell immediately that he wasn't in his best mood

"What's wrong?"

You asked after a short moment of silence

All he did was denying it

"Oh no, it's nothing"

But ofc after all these years you knew him to well and couldn't really believe him

But you also decided not to ask any further

Instead you tried to lighten the mood by changing the topic

"This boy Sanha sits next to me now,-"

"Oh"

It seemed like you totally failed

You looked at the ground, kinda disappointed, while strolling home

He then probably noticed how dry his answer was

"And.. What is he like?"

"He's actually pretty fun",

You answered by smiling to yourself

He nodded in response

After this convo you talked about everything possible

But Minhyuk's replies still seemed kinda forced and the whole atmosphere was awkward

When you got home he still watched you unlocking the door and getting in before leaving to go home himself

He always did that, even when you were children

Back then you didn't really get why he was doing that

But now it made you feel kinda safe..?

And you were happy that this habit didn't change because of his current mood

You threw your backpack on the floor and went the stairs up right to your room

A/N: Okay now this is my first (bullet) scenario~ I planned to make this short but just like always when I write smth I end up with bOOKS. Anyways I hope you like it lol I'll try to continue this as soon as possible 🐣

↳Admin Cassiopeia

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unicyclehippo · 7 years

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Hi Pal, if you dont mind me asking, how do you deal with depression? I think I read a while ago that you deal with it, if not I apologize. I have it and I am not doing a good job managing it.

im not sure how much i can help, im not a doc of any kind & haven’t even had any experience w getting help myself but i have been doing better so i can just tell u stuff that helped & maybe that’ll help u a bit ?

i have no idea where to start. i guess,,, for me it was abt small victories bc the big goals seemed so daunting & horrible & looming yknow & i felt like they were totally insurmountable & had no idea how to get there & claim the big victories. & it felt so much like they were actually rly small things i shouldn’t have been freaked out abt - that normal ppl wouldn’t freak out abt - but i was. only at the same time it absolutely felt like i was just being lazy & i couldn’t be sure whether i was lazy or selectively lazy protecting myself by not even trying to attempt these very big small scary things like getting a job & being a better person

but i started latching onto these small victories & rly going to town on them like i did this course that gave me a library qualification & i smashed that out i did my best & it wasn’t exactly what i wanted to do but it was a direction & prior to that i had exactly zero direction & it felt rly good to do smth. bc when i don’t do stuff i get into my head too much & i felt very boring & low & lowkey parasitic yknow ?? & i got a job, which wasn’t The Best Job in the world which is what i had felt like i needed to get or do exactly the right job for me, but the job was a job & a Good job & it is smth im hanging onto. & decisions are still rly hard for me but im trying to start to plan stuff so i don’t rly freak out again & not do anything at all.

i got some friends who were willing to be very honest v me & start rly talking abt stuff like bc friendship is give & take & when u have depression it feels all the time like ur the one taking & it can rly twist stuff up inside yknow Shame & Guilt are ur two best buddies. but that’s smth to fight (& keep fighting bc it’s as easy as pie to slip back into not talking abt stuff i mean all u gotta do is close ur mouth?? it’s so easy to be inactive but sometimes the right thing is Hard but it’s good not all the way through maybe it feels shitty but it is Good). so for that one u gotta be lucky or brave to make good friends but it’s smth to do w ur family & ur therapist or doc if u have one bc that’s how we get help. tell ur ppl when ur having a hard time. tell them why, tell them what u think might make it easier. this is rly hard for me & smth im still working on but i think it’s rly important

smth important is to stop harming urself. this includes a whole array of stuff i don’t wanna get into but whatever it is, stop. it’s an easy thing to say & it’s a suck fest doing it but u gotta. i know stuff doesn’t work all the time but u gotta try anything that might help so like i knew someone who wrote reminders wherever they wanted to hurt like MINE & EXCEPTIONAL on their legs & stuff & i know ppl who have affirmations & i know ppl who listen to certain music to distract them & some ppl drag it all out onto paper. there are sites w anonymous chats & stupid videos in youtube. whatever it is, u gotta look after ur body. harming hurts (big surprise!!!) in whatever way it’s done & it brings a lot of downing emotions w it that don’t help at all. im not trying to be an ass but this isn’t smth u wean urself off from - this is smth u grab in both hands & u say see u never & u End it there. this isn’t to say that slipping is the end of the world or that ur a failure - u just pick urself up & try again. but each time u gotta try w vigour & every bit of strength u have bc u absolutely deserve that.

instructive thoughts are a fuckin world on their own i haven’t figured that shit out yet, sorry. just ignore those evil little twits tell them to go shit in their own heads & to leave u alone. don’t listen to a word of it, don’t let urself be tricked. ur not a bad person for thinking fucked up stuff. pretty sure everyone does it

make sure to love smth. love lots of stuff. depression makes things feel Shitty - keep trying to search for that stuff that lightens it a little bit. smth that is the perfect size for ur hand like a tennis ball or the sound of it bouncing or plucking grass or smth. whatever it is, it doesn’t have to be productive so long as it makes u happy. personally i love art bc i love the concept of creating stuff but if that’s not for u then like that’s perfectly fine too???? if u do like creating stuff it’s important not to delete everything when u get a Mood. u will lose stuff & i think no matter how shitty smth is that u made, u made it & to be able to see it there is rly cool???? don’t edit when ur in a Mood that’s my advice lol

treat urself. take a bath, go on a walk, go to sleep early, make dinner for ur family or With them, try to learn smth u have always wanted to learn, go to the theatre (!!), read a new book or watch a show!

this is all stuff for when ur not in a heap on ur bed & can’t move. when ur in that mood, i recommend cleaning ur teeth. if u can, i also recommend making ur bed with new sheets & having a shower.

idk what else i can say & i certainly don’t know if any of this was helpful at all. i hope it was but u can ask me anything u want

#boom answered #depression tw #self harm tw #depression cw

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