#yes she was hurting but she hurt me and I was a kid
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So you want leftist candidates? Here's how you get them:
First off, you have to understand that the far right didn't just wake up one day and say, "We should fuck up the country!" They have been OPENLY working for decades to fill literally every elected or appointed government position they could with Christian Dominionists and other right-wingers, and these folks show up to the polls EVERY SINGLE TIME.
When I was a kid in a far right church in the 1960s, they openly discussed how important is was to get their people into office who would help pass legislation to persecute/imprison/kill anyone who didn't follow their religion. If there's no one sufficiently right-wing running, they'll vote for whomever is closest, even if it gags them. And I cannot emphasize enough that they have long term goals that they are willing to take--and HAVE taken--generations to achieve.
The overturning of Roe v. Wade, for example, is a DIRECT RESULT of the decades-long effort by the far right to boost the most far-right-leaning candidates they could find. They've been talking for decades SPECIFICALLY about getting enough far right judges in SCOTUS to overturn Roe v. Wade. And these SCOTUS appointments are for LIFE, so these judges get to set policy for your GRANDCHILDREN.
So yes, the overturning of Roe v. Wade was only made possible because Trump was able to appoint three SCOTUS judges, in addition to all the other federal judges he appointed. Amd they're talking about going after same-sex marriage, minority rights, etc.
(Hell, the judge in charge of his secret documents case is one that he appointed--she has indefinitely postponed that case,by the way.)
And you don't think local school board elections are important? Have you not seen the news about all the anti-queer policies, and all the book-bannings? This, also, has a generational effect.
Meanwhile the left refuses to turn up to the polls because none of the candidates are pure enough. So guess why things are getting worse?
If the Left turned out for the most left-leaning candidate at EVERY SINGLE ELECTION, whether local or state or whatever, including primaries, we'd start seeing more leftist candidates. Yes, that means that if there's a choice between two extreme right wing candidates, you vote for the least extreme one.
I know I keep emphasizing that this is not just about POTUS, but POTUS does figure in, of course (among other things, who do you think appoints judges for congress to approve?).
So swallow this pill: Anything shitty Biden is doing, the shitgibbon will do MORE of.
"Not gonna vote Biden because he supports genocide, so I'd rather the guy win who ALSO supports genocide, wants Russia to invade more countries, thinks it's fine if China retakes Taiwan, wants a nationwide abortion ban, removal of civil rights for minorities, wants to overturn same-sex marriage (which the right-leaning majority in SCOTUS are already talking about), to cut back the role of congress in checking executive actions (including workarounds to avoid the need for congressional confirmation for presidential appointees), to remove federal employee protections so federal personnel can be replaced with Trump loyalists, and so on! That'll teach those Dems a lesson! THEN they'll be sorry. And fuck everyone the bad guys hurt, because I'll still be PURE. So what if top GOP officials want to actually NUKE Gaza?"
That's fucking kindergartner thinking.
Yes, Biden is a piece of shit, but I am not waxing at all hyperbolic when I say that a second orange shitgibbon term, with a far-right-majority SCOTUS--especially if the GOP manages majorities in both houses of congress--may be the end of what little is left of Democracy in the US. Not gonna argue about it, because I don't waste my time with petulant children.
Look at the GOP's plans for a Republican administration, and tell me you think it sounds better than another term of Biden. Hell, they've even set up online trainings and loyalty tests to narrow down potential federal hires to those who will commit to follow Trump without question.
I repeat: If you want more leftist candidates, if you want more worker power, if you want billionaires taxed, if you want to protect minorities and the queer community, you have to adopt the strategy that the right has used, educate yourself about what candidates stand for, and show up EVERY SINGLE TIME. Again, that includes primaries.
So many of us on the left would rather sit in the basement dreaming of some magical revolution that's going to fix everything, giving ourselves and others purity tests, and proudly announcing that we're... boycotting democracy by not voting(?), "because none of the candidates are a good choice."
Yeah, the left refusing to vote--or only voting in presidential elections--while the right turns up every time is exactly how we got here.
And you have to support the most left-leaning candidate even if it makes you gag, and even if "most left-leaning" means "not as openly fascist." This is the ONLY way you can be assured of candidates getting further to the left in the future. (Note that this means learning about your local candidates.)
"But voting won't fix--" I never said it was going to fix everything. There's no rule that if you vote, you can't volunteer with Food Not Bombs, or run for school board, or demonstrate, or circulate petitions. It takes more than voting, but voting has to be PART of our strategy.
You also have to accept that it may take decades to change course, and that you're not going to like every candidate you have to vote for.
The right didn't just magically get the orange shitgibbon into office overnight. It took decades of work. And if we want decent human beings in charge, we have to be willing to do the same.
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i think baby teddy would only be 9 months old in may? i feel like memorial weekend would be the bears summer menu launch, and she’s been teething so to keep her quiet when she’s fussy richie just feeds her a rib and her little overalls are ruined
around nine months give or take haha, but yes!
they close the restaurant for the actual holiday, decide to do a menu tasting and what not, but they do it at your and carmen's home. sorta like a backyard bbq, a little inflatable pool and slip and slide for the kids.
teddy's little and can't play with the bigger kids, but she's content being passed around to everyone. the only problem is her little teeth are killing her :( she's miserable and the heat makes it worse, but she doesn't want to go inside.
she's out of teething rings, they melt too quickly, she's fussy and grumpy and miserable. "i got her." richie waves you off, taking his goddaughter from you. "i got it. trust me. eva did the same shit when she was little. i know the fix."
you're unsure of what he's going to do but you know he won't hurt her obv, so you let him have her while you try and host, get her teething rings cold again.
you come back out to see teddy gnawing on a rib, barbecue sauce all over her little pink overalls. you want to be pissed, mad that she's messy and those stains will be a bitch to get out, but you know carmen will do it with ease. and besides, she's content, not crying, happily gnawing on the rib bone.
"see?" richie smirks. "told you. i got it."
carmen starts to protest when he sees it, worried that there's something sharp or that richie didn't clear it properly and she could choke. "he's got it, carm." you stop him, grabbing his arm. "please? she's not crying, she's happy. just-just let her keep going until the teething rings are cold again."
there's definitely a picture in a photo album somewhere of baby teddy in richie's lap, pink overalls stained with barbecue sauce, gnawing on a rib bone.
#thebearer#bearblahs#carmen berzatto#carmen berzatto x reader#carmy berzatto x reader#the bear#carmy berzatto#carmen berzatto fluff#dad!carmen berzatto#dad!carmen berzatto x mom!reader#richie jerimovich#dorothea “teddy” berzatto
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WIP Wednesday!
Tagged by the wonderful @the-flaming-nightmare
Most of my current WIP's are almost done! So I wasn't sure which one to post...
So I'm posting one that will take a bit to get out there.
~~~Past:~~~
“I need you to be on your best behavior, young man. Most people wouldn't be so generous to take us both in.” She tells him, holding his hand. “We're both very lucky.”
They had to leave very quickly last night, they didn't even take his cat with them…or his father.
“Yes, Mama.” He says to her.
He hopes his cat will find them, someone needs to feed him.
The house was huge, he's never seen one so big before. It was big and white, had the biggest porch he'd ever seen, and the roof was bright blue. How many people lived here?
Mama stopped at the door to straighten his jacket. “Alright.” Her hands are placed on his shoulders, her smile bright. “Smile big now, we want to make a good impression. Don't we?” She asks.
He listens and smiles bright as Mama rang the doorbell.
A white lady answered, looking tired yet enthusiastic. “Betty, hello.”
She spoke so kindly… It's weird.
“You're here right on time.” She says.
“Hello, Mrs Anderson.” She says, placing a hand on his shoulder again. “This is my son-”
“Alastor!” Mrs Anderson smiles. “Wow. The way your mother talked about you, I thought you must be a baby. But look at you, so grown up.”
“Hello, Ma'am.” Alastor says, smiling, offering his hand to her.
The lady smiles and shakes his hand back. “What a polite young man you are.” She says. “Your mother raised you well. How old are you?”
“Yes, Ma’am.” He says. “I'm eight, Ma'am.” He's nervous, not used to talking to people like her.
“Betty, call me Nancy. You act as if we hardly know each other.” She says. She places her hands on her hips and turns to Alastor. “And that goes for you too, young man. I'm Mrs Nancy, ma’am makes me feel old.”
Alastor was confused, his mother never mentioned her before, but Mrs Nancy acts like they've been friends forever.
“Come on in, I'll introduce you to my kids.” She says, gesturing for them to follow.
She leads them both inside.
The house was beautiful, like a palace. What kind of people lived like this?
“My husband Harrold will be home tonight, I advise you to keep Alastor in your room when he's home.”
“Don't worry, he won't be seen.” Beatrice promised. “Did you hear that?” His mother asks.
“Yes, Mama.” Alastor says.
“This is my Son Harry, and my daughter Christy.” She introduced.
“Why do they look like that?” Harry asks, pointing at Alastor.
Nancy hit the back of his head. “Ow!”
“Harry, that is no way to talk to someone!” She scolds.
“It's just the help.” He says.
“Go upstairs to your room.” Nancy says. “Right now.”
“Fine.” Harry says, marching up the stairs.
“I'm sorry about him.” Nancy says. “He gets his manners from his father.”
“Don't even worry about it.” Beatrice says.
“Let me show you your room!” Nancy says. “Follow me.” She says.
Christy said nothing, only stared at Alastor with confusion.
Alastor didn't say anything though, just kept following his mother.
Nancy shows them to a single bedroom with a bathroom next to it. “Sorry it's so small, we're not used to having more than one person here at a time.”
“Alastor and I are used to sharing.” His mother says. “You're doing us a huge favor, I couldn't thank you enough.”
“Of course.” Nancy says. “I wish I could do more. I'm really sorry about what happened, I-”
“Nancy.” His mother interrupts, gesturing to Alastor.
Nancy nods. “Right, uhm. If you need anything, let me know. Work starts first thing tomorrow. I have a list of the meals and chores that need to be done. But tonight, I want you two to just relax.” Nancy tells them.
His mother nods. “Thank you.”
Nancy smiles sadly at Alastor, like he was hurt in some way and she was trying to make him feel better…
What was going on?
Nancy left, and his mother was unpacking some of her things. “Help me make the bed.” She tells him.
Alastor does as told and takes the sheet to help. “Who was that lady? And why was she so nice?” Alastor asks.
“Nancy was my friend if you must know.” She says.
“Friend? How?” He asks.
“My mother was her nanny. Me, Nancy, and your aunties grew up together.” She explains.
Alastor nods. “Oh…”
“What is it?” She asks, seeing the look on his face.”
Alastor shrugs, not sure how to say it.
“No, none of that, tell me what's wrong.” Beatrice says.
“I don't like it here.” He says. “The people act strange and look at me like I'm deceased.”
“Just give it a chance, Alas.” She says, running her fingers through his curls. “Maybe you'll end up loving it.”
Alastor doubted that very much.
But he was willing to give it a try…
For her sake.
“Why did we have to leave?” Alastor asks.
“Well, your father didn't really…he-” she struggled to say
“Just tell me straight.” He says. “I want to know the truth.”
His mother sighs and pulls him closer, holding both his hands. “He didn't want us anymore. He wants a new family…”
“Oh.”
“But that's okay.” She says. “We don't need him or anyone else. We were fine before him, we'll be fine after him too. Understand?”
Alastor nods. “Yes, Mama.”
His mother hugs him tightly…
Alastor sighs. He'll never see his cat again.
Possum:
I'm not entirely sure how much of this will actually see the light of day, but let me know your thoughts on it.
I'm kinda nervous about how to write Alastor's past. I have ideas, but I'm not sure how they'll be received since they're so...dark. and Alastor is so loved, lol 😆
Everyone wants to see him suffer, right? Lol
Tagging anyone who wants to do this!
@todayimfour @attagirljessy @abby5577 @trophyxtissues2 @ask-dusty-boy @legeufygeuber100 @im-not-paying-my-taxes @babiegurlmuffin
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Heavenly creature - Unbreakable Bonds (6)
Summary: A stranger saves you from an unfriendly encounter. Is he a knight in shiny armor?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader
Characters: Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Princess Shuri
Warnings: heavy angst, language, hurt & comfort, clingy/possessive reader, fluff, dad!Steve
A/N: I usually do not describe my reader’s appearance/race. In this case I had to make an exception as it’s important for the storyline.
Divider by @firefly-graphics
<< Part 5
Heavenly Creature masterlist
“Soldier, are we done for today?” You hopefully look at Bucky when he walks inside the examination room. Your face falls seeing Steve by his side. “Please?”
“We are almost done for today,” Steve softly says. “Our friend will run a few more tests, okay.”
You reluctantly nod.
“They mean no harm,” Bucky adds. You visibly relax at his words. “How about we have lunch together? All of us.” He holds out his hand and forces a smile on his face.
“Yes,” you grab his hand and smile widely. “Can we have dessert too? I miss ice cream. I haven’t had some in ages.”
“Why?” Steve asks. “Ice cream is great.”
“They said it’s bad and…” You suck in a breath. The words just slipped out of your mouth before you could stop them. “Sugar is bad…feelings too…”
“Doll,” Bucky wraps his arms around you when you start to cry. “Hey, you can eat as much ice cream as you want to.”
“What if I can’t heal you because I ate sugar? What if you die?” You fist Bucky’s shirt. “I can’t risk losing you. It will be all my fault if you can’t be healed.”
Steve chokes out a sob. He witnessed Hydra’s cruelty more than once. But your broken voice telling them all the things Hydra planted in your young mind when you were a child, is unbearable to him.
“They won’t know, Y/N,” Steve tries once again to get your attention. “Bucky is healthy and strong. If he gets hurt, we can help him at the medic bay. We have doctors, and I can donate blood for him too. I’m a super-soldier, remember?”
“You can?” You lift your head and sniffle. “Is your blood as good as mine? Maybe it’s not as good…”
“Y/N, I’m your father. We share the same blood,” Steve holds back another sob when you reluctantly let go of Bucky to step toward him. “I’m a universal donor too.”
“Oh!” Your smile widens and you grasp Steve’s hand. “You can save my soldier too! Wonderful!”
Steve holds back a sigh. Your whole world seems to revolve around his friend. Since they broke the barrier you built in your mind to protect yourself from remembering your past, you lost interest in anything but Bucky.
“We should eat now,” Steve murmurs, afraid to scare you off if he speaks any louder. “What do you like?”
“Pasta and ice cream,” you dreamily say. “Maybe we can have chocolate too, and pudding. I love pudding.”
“Hmm…tastes great,” you shovel the pasta in your mouth, ignoring people staring at you and the super-soldiers at your table. “What?” You cock a brow. “It’s good.”
“You should slow down,” Steve whispers, afraid to draw too much attention toward your table. “There is more than enough.”
“It’s delicious and I don’t want you to steal my food,” you pout at Steve before you look at Bucky. “Why don’t you eat, soldier? You need food to stay strong and healthy.”
“I’m good,” Bucky barely touched the food in front of him. On your way to the restaurant, you talked non-stop about your past, and all the things your so-called parents forbid you. Like playing with your dolls or spending time with other kids.
You nod but worry Bucky might be sick. “Are you sick? Do you need me to help you?” You slip off the chair to press the back of your hand to Bucky’s forehead. “No temperature. That’s good. You’re not having a fever then.”
“Y/N,” Steve gets up from his chair to stop you from examining Bucky. “Please eat your food. Bucky is not sick. You need the food more than him.”
“Okay.”
Steve pulls the chair for you, nodding at his friend. “You need to eat something too, Buck. We don’t want Y/N to worry about you. Give her what she needs…”
“I’ll eat, doll,” Bucky lifts the spoon to his mouth. “See. No reason to worry about me all the time.”
You shyly glance at your plate. There is chaos in your mind. A part of you wants to be close to Bucky, and make sure he’s safe. And the little part that’s left of the shy librarian is screaming bloody murder and begs you to run for the hills if you get the chance to do so.
So far, you don’t know which part of your personality will win the war going on inside of you. You’d love it to be the part wanting to be close to Bucky. Because without him, who are you?
Steve shows you around the apartment they prepared at the Avengers’ tower for you. You follow him, barely sparing the furniture and decoration a glance.
“We got most of your things, some books too. If you need anything else, please let me know,” he hopefully looks at you, waiting for your response.
“That’s very kind of you, and Mr. Stark but—” you chew on your lower lip, afraid to anger the super-soldier. “Can I not stay with my soldier?”
“Y/N,” he sighs. “I know something tells you that you must stay close to Bucky, but it’s best if you stay here for a while. You need to time on your own, and to sort your thoughts.”
“I want—” you shake your head. “I need to stay close. Please don’t leave me here all alone with my thoughts. Please.” You grab Steve’s hand, tugging hard. “Please Dad…don’t leave me alone with them…”
“With whom?” he softly asks. “Y/N?”
“The ghosts of my past,” you whimper. “I can hear them in my head now. Mom. Dad. My aunt. The doctors. The men with the guns,” you sniffle. “They are screaming at me. If I’m close to the soldier, they are gone.”
“Oh, Y/N,” Steve wraps you in a hug. “I don’t know if it’s a good idea. Bucky hates himself for kidnapping and hurting you. He blames himself for forcing you to remember your past.”
“I hated my life before the soldier found me again. Nightmares and flashbacks aren’t new to me. I just didn’t know why the voices followed me around. At least now I know that I’m not crazy.
“If you want me to, I’ll ask Bucky if it’s okay that you stay with him for tonight.”
“Please.”
Steve wishes you’d seek his closeness. You’re a grown woman, still, Steve feels like he’s holding a newborn child in his arms. Not days ago, he believed he’d never get the chance to become a father, and now he’s holding his child in his arms.
“We will ask him together. Okay. Don’t worry. Bucky is a good man and will not send you away. Get a few things and I’ll be waiting outside for you.”
Steve steps away to leave the room. He’s still torn between protecting you from his best friend and being happy that you trust Bucky enough to feel safe close to him.
“You’d have been a much better dad,” you murmur as Steve grabs the door handle. “Now I know why they never told me about you.”
“I wish I knew about you, Y/N. I’d have come to your aid and saved you and Bucky.”
“I know.”
“No programming and no manipulation?” Tony huffs. “That’s impossible. It’s like she’s programmed to follow Barnes like a puppy.”
Shuri shakes her head. “You don’t understand. In a way, she got manipulated by Hydra. But – the part of Y/N seeking White Wolf’s closeness is the part that remembers his kindness in times of need. I talked to her for hours and ran all the tests. It’s her, nothing more and nothing less.”
“I don’t—” Tony shakes his head. “How’s that possible?”
“Her vulnerable soul and broken mind tried to find a way to bear all the pain and treatment. Somehow, a bond between these tortured souls formed so many years ago. And I think it’s unbreakable…”
“Sold-“ you stop yourself from pouncing on Bucky. You nervously shuffle from one foot to the other, waiting for Bucky to tell you to get closer. “Bucky.”
“Hi,” Bucky offers a weak smile. “How are you?”
“I…” Dropping your gaze you shrug. “I don’t know, to be honest. I remember everything now. Hydra. You. My parents, who weren’t my parents. My time as a librarian. The soldier protecting me.”
“I remember you now too,” he slowly steps closer and holds out his hand. “Back then I made a promise to you. Do you remember?”
“Yes,” you nod and smile. “You said that no one will ever hurt me again. That you’ll save me and get me away from the bad people.”
“I will keep that promise from now on. I failed you in the past,” he takes your hand to gently hold it, “I won’t fail this time...”
The End...?
Tags in reblog.
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#angst#Heavenly creature - Unbreakable Bonds (6)#bucky barnes x female reader#steve rogers#dad!steve rogers
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Next time I’m dealing with an upset kid, I’m going to remember my aunt saying to me, “That fight was the beginning of the end for you and [cousin who a whole airport staff couldn’t unload all my baggage with]” when I was jokingly recounting a spat we had when we were twelve and I called her a ‘motherucking bitch’
Because that flabbergasted me so much I legitimately laughed and I’m still thinking about it.
‘Cause no. Oh my god no. That was the end of the end. That was when I finally said, “I can’t do this anymore.” That was it.
But my aunt couldn’t see that because to her we were just two twelve year olds calling each other names, /oh those two, so ‘close’ (in truth, we were just two girls who were the same age, our moms said we had to be close) but always bickering/ not the continued saga of pain and harassment that had been our shared childhood, twelve years worth, and the moment I was finally old enough to realize, “I should stop trying to be friends and instead never talk to her again.”
‘The beginning of the end’. As if those years when we were younger didn’t count and weren’t informative. They were. As if we didn’t have interiority and a complicated, broken relationship before that. We did. As if it was all petty before we were teenagers. It wasn’t.
It had ended a long time ago.
#this aunt is not the mom of this cousin btw#I just- it stunned me#made me realize that the border line abuse my cousin put me through still has never clicked for my extended family#and I do understand why#it’s cause my cousin had a super fucked up childhood and abusive dad and ill equipped mom to deal with the very obvious mental illness#that my cousin had#but like… she hurt me#yes she was hurting but she hurt me and I was a kid#it wasn’t normal kid fighting it wasn’t#but in order for the adults to try to be kind to and provide stability for my poor fucked up cousin I had to take her lashing out#my dad was really good about telling me I didn’t have to put up with her#and my mom got much better as we got older and it stopped being ‘kid stuff’ and even before she never really punished me#for our fights because she knew who the real problems was#but still#sucks to remember that the thing that actually made my mom wake up about my cousin was the fight she and my sister had In college#not me#(my mom is great this whole thing was just bad)#nothing I have ever said about my cousin has ever been taken as anything more than petty kid stuff apparently#‘oh those two. always fighting’#god#anyway yeah this childhood experience has in no way informed how I write Curufin and Joffrey haha. ha ha.#Tribble post
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they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?
they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.
you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.
you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.
mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.
you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.
#writeblr#warm up#to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace#but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X'#and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!''#babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3#mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES#and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for#than have 1 kid NOT get help#but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here#bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness''#it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!''#& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness#but use it to defend THEIR actions#like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell?#you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse?#but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck?#your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross?#HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like#all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like.#anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol
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#dahlia hawthorne#ace attorney#phoenix wright#dahlia x phoenix#alexa play dark red by steve lacy#my art#since i dont want to make a dedicated post let me use my notes to vent about how much i love dahlia conceptually and how much i wish AA +#writers weren't sexist#dahlia was given the shittiest set of cards when she was a kid and she was a victim of grooming by that terry loser#she is CONSTANTLY objectified and sexualised and i think her design as a skinny young looking individual makes it even more distasteful#but i think it works if the writers could have done something with that#what i love about dahlia and phoenix's relationship is the contrast - phoenix needs to see people as innocent before jumping to help them v#dahlia who has if you think about it is innocent to a degree given how fucked up her childhood was#dahlia could have been a great case study into compassion for phoenix as she has hurt him directly but in his role as a lawyer he has to se#past certain flaws so justice can be served#and it can PUSH his understanding of what is “guilty”#yes dahlia killed people but also i choose to believe her worldview was severely warped by her enviornment and she's a product of it#or if they wanted to make her a villain and stick with it i think as a rival ro phoenix she should have been a cautionary tale#of what happens when you never learn to move beyond the shitty hand youve been dealt with and live non judgementally#anyways ^_^
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Alphinaud and Alisaie is speedrunning breaking through every single layer ch'ari has, and the poor cat just wanna suffocate them in Every Fashion Possible
FASCINATING: weird feral cat starting to have feelings because some kids had one (1) feeling in his proximity
#critical success. yes they’re going to get pushed down a hill. yes they’re getting hugged. no they didn’t ask to have that happen#none of them did#ch’ari fully forgot thancred’s name for months. ch’ari was frustrated by minfillia. ch’ari was only charmed by yda because she’s goofy#ch’ari didn’t care until he accidentally saw alphinaud get… worried… about something???#and instead of just appreciating his company as a blunt object looked relieved he was okay?#⚠️ ch’ari will remember this infinitesimal kindness.#he was friends with tataru first and then it all went downhill from there#ask#anon#ffxiv#What was up with that quest where tataru got super worried alphinaud was hurt and then he was fine and it worried me half to death.#for nothing. Ari spent the next few quests surreptitiously sniffing at him to see if he could smell blood or spellwork#dumb kid. he was probably like ?????? stop— please. um#but like. I think the tipping point for him was seeing a scared kid fr#having not encountered it except at a distance he was like OH. I KNOW THAT FEELING. I AM GOING TO STOP THAT FROM OCCURRING. NOW.
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don't want to kill time like it doesn't matter - 3.5k words, (platonic) funkobra hurt/comfort
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Ghoul is actually younger than Kobra. They always forget it though.
At least, they usually do.
Kobra's stopped shooting upright and reaching for his blaster whenever someone wakes him up at night. Stopped two years ago, honestly, when him and Ghoul started sharing a room. That was a collective decision that is very much not discussed. It left the old office as a perfect room for the Girl, in the end. Between Ghoulie and Girlie, the former of whom has wild, sleepless tendencies and the latter liking to scramble her way into bed with somebody else every other night of the week, Kobra's knee-jerk reaction has become more of a lack of reaction.
"Yo," hisses a pitchy voice. It's dead daylight, the heat of the day. This is the time of the year when you sleep while the sun's up, wait until the darkness falls to do anything or else it's too miserable or too dangerous. "Kobes."
Kobra utters a verbose "Hrrmngg?" and rolls over. He cracks an eye open to see Ghoul standing at the end of his bed. If it hadn't been light out, he'd be doing a good job of living up to his name. His hands are shaking, but when aren't they?
"You good, man?" Kobra asks groggily. He's half awake, half asleep, drifting in between the two states of being. Ghoul is shifting his weight back and forth on his feet. It makes the floor creak. It makes him look even smaller than he is. "Ghoulie?" He mumbles again when he gets no reply.
Ghoul makes a noncommittal half-whispered sound. "Wanna go for a joyride?" He asks instead of an answer.
Kobra blinks himself more fully awake and pushes up on one elbow. "Mirage or the 'Am?"
Ghoulie shrugs. Won't meet his eyes. Oh shit, that's not good. Something's got him worked up. It's too late for this. This is why they share a room now. They didn't used to, but Kobra refuses to let him sleep alone anymore. Kobra knows how he got that wicked scar that runs from the corner of his mouth nearly to his eye.
"Either," Ghoul says. "Doesn't matter much to me."
"Mirage," Kobra decides. He'll never say no to a late-night joyride. Not this kind. Party'll have his neck for sneaking out on the bike without letting anyone know, but the 'Am is too conspicuous when strange crews are out and from the look of him, riding double on the motorcycle will be good for Ghoul.
It's still too hot to be out. But going for a spin won't take too much exertion, getting to someplace with shade, so long as it's away from here, won't take too long. Ghoul's gonna get sunscorched. Maybe that's the point. While Kobra covers up with his jacket, Ghoul is still in the loose, half-covering clothes he sleeps in.
The sun glints painfully off the sand when they climb quietly out the window. No reason trying to get past Party when they've got an exit right here. Ghoul clambers out first with a probably accidental but surprisingly graceful roll and then flinches, violently, when Kobra jacket catches on what's left of the glass in the window and he tumbles haphazardly to the ground. They both hold still for a long dozen seconds, Kobra staring at the diner wall and straining to tell if anyone heard them, and Ghoul staring at Kobra and shaking.
When Party doesn't come along, eyes glinting with annoyed amusement, and yell at them for sneaking out, Kobra sits up and checks the hem of his jacket where it caught on the sharp edge. "Great," he mutters when he sees the tear in the lining. He'll have to sew that back together later. "Ghoul, you good?"
Ghoul shrugs and stands up. "Aren't I always?"
"No."
They stare at each other for a few seconds while Kobra rubs his palms together to clear the sand off them and reaches into his pocket for his gloves. "You're wearing a helmet," he says flatly.
Ghoul rolls his eyes and sneers. It crinkles the scar running up his face. "No way."
"Fine." Kobra doesn't push. Half the time he doesn't even wear his helmet. He's the driver. He'll keep them safe. It was worth a try, though. "Come on."
The heavy bay door of the garage makes too much noise to open without being caught. They slip in the side door and Kobra brings Mirage carefully back through it. He wears a helmet this time. Ghoul stands and waits, bouncing impatiently on the balls of his feet, while Kobra starts the bike and, out of habit, does a couple checks.
"You ready?" Kobra says, with the visor of his helmet flipped up.
Ghoul grins, but it's lacking in heart. So often, Kobra thinks he's not all there. So often, Kobra thinks this is his best friend. "Born that way," he replies.
"Come on then," Kobra says and nods for Ghoul to get on the bike with him. "Hey, hey. Hey, Ghoulie-" he says, when Ghoul is standing right at his shoulder, about to throw a leg over Mirage and climb on. "You okay?" He asks again, because he needs to know how safe any of this is.
Ghoul doesn't respond. Just settles himself behind Kobra and wraps his arms, tight, around Kobra's middle. Kobra stays there a second, until he's sure Ghoul's grip is solid, so that he can feel Ghoul breathing against his back, before he kicks off. He doesn't care if Party and Jet wake up now, they won't catch them. The bike's tires kick up a fountain of sand as he spins a loop, leaning into the turn until Mirage tilts close enough to the ground that Kobra could touch the sand if he reached out. Ghoul asked for a joyride. This is that.
"What the hell, man?!" Ghoul yells over Kobra's shoulder, muffled by the engine noise and his helmet. Kobra feels Ghoul's hands grab at the fabric of his shirt as he pulls around the first turn, bringing them around the back of a sand dune at full speed.
"Trust me?" Kobra shouts back. He's getting into it now, relaxing into each wide, showy swerve and fishtail. He slows down just a bit when he can feel Ghoul's fingernails start to bite into his skin. It makes him edgy when Ghoul is like this.
Ghoul sniffs sharply. "Well, yeah, but I've seen you crash out enough times at the track-"
"Aw, shut up," Kobra snaps back, without venom. Ghoul's his mechanic. He's seen his best wins and worst losses. "Where you wanna go?" He asks, after a few random turns, just drifting around in the sand. Ghoul is quiet. Kobra reaches back with one hand and smacks him on the leg after awhile. "Ghoulie, where we goin'?"
"I'm thinki-" Ghoul cuts himself off and when he speaks again his voice is flat and so quiet Kobra has to strain to hear him. "Turn right up here."
There's the remains of a road cutting across their path and Kobra hops Mirage up onto it, swings right and follows the pavement. Ghoul's grip around his chest has loosened, but Kobra can feel the fast, shallow rhythm of his breathing and the shaking of his hands even still. The road goes on for ages, long enough that it starts to feel infinite. This must have been a highway, back before the wars and BL/ind. At some point, Ghoul leans forward and puts his forehead against the back of Kobra's neck. Kobra can feel him pressed just below where his helmet sits.
"Get off at this turn," Ghoul mumbles suddenly, but not soon enough because Kobra completely overshoots the exit. He flips around the empty lanes of the highway, admittedly showing off mostly just to make himself feel better.
The group of buildings along the former highway off-ramp isn't really a ghost town. It's a cluster of old stores and restaurants, like the diner but mass produced, and down at the end is an ancient truck stop and gas station. Kobra slows the bike to a crawl as they drive down the street, struck with an eerie sense of deja vu. He's been here before. They both have.
He pulls over and stops in the middle of the road, beside what used to be a coffee store. Coffee is usually made in the form of compressed, dried out shots now, called Motor Juice in the Zones when rehydrated. They don't have coffeeshops in the City. They have prescriptions.
Ghoul is off the bike and Kobra's back suddenly cold even under the heat of the sun before Mirage even comes to a full stop. "Ghoul-" Kobra snaps, angry for reasons he can't even say and unsettled in ways he doesn't want to. This is a ghost town. Just not in the normal way. "Ghoul. What are you-"
But Ghoul is walking away, his back to Kobra and the bike as he moves toward the gas station as if it's a magnet and he's the blade of a knife, trembling so hard with the pull that it might break. Kobra hesitates, then swings his leg over Mirage and bumps out the kickstand. Ghoul is standing stock still, or as still as he can, on the faded pavement of the gas station parking lot. Kobra's glad it's faded. He doesn't want to see the bloodstains.
Ghoul looks small as he approaches, absolutely miniscule. He's got his arms wrapped tight around himself and Kobra can hear the harshness of his breathing even from several strides away. He doesn't want to get too close too fast. Ghoul's enough like a wild animal that it could turn out badly, and Kobra for once really doesn't want to fight him today. Not out here, at least.
They're within two years of each other, Kobra and Ghoul. They usually forget they're not the same age. But right now Ghoul looks so small and so, so young and Kobra doesn't know what to do.
"Gh- Ghoul. Ghoulie." Kobra calls carefully, stumbling over his tongue. He clamps his teeth together, takes a deep breath. "Ghoul."
Ghoul doesn't turn, doesn't look away from the door into the gas station he'd been found in, back when Kobra and Poison and Jet were a crew of three and Ghoul'd been even more feral than he is now. The gas station where Ghoul watched his entire family die and he was helpless to do anything about it. He still thinks he hadn't done enough. Kobra knows that. Ghoul always thinks he didn't do enough. That one kid with a blaster and wild eyes could take down a full squad of Dracs and two Crows.
Kobra doesn't know how to tell him that if he'd tried, he would be dead too. Kobra doesn't know how to tell him he's glad he didn't. When it comes down to it most, Kobra finds he can't speak.
"Ghoulie," he says again. "Hey. Hey." He moves closer, pulls off the helmet he'd almost forgotten he still has on. "Ghoul," he tries, one more time, as gently as he knows how even though it's not that gentle. He's never been good at this. Some of the scars scattered across Ghoul's body are from him. But Kobra had stitched up Ghoul's face and he's not going to give up now.
Ghoul finally turns and Kobra breathes a sigh of relief. Just a response. Proof of life even though he's still standing. And then Ghoul steps toward him and suddenly he's right there, shaking but otherwise just as eerily still as this entire place, like he's trapped in frozen time just like the rest of it, and he collides with Kobra's chest in a way that's both surprising and yet entirely expected.
"Oh." Kobra drops his helmet, dangling from one hand, and his arms hover uncertainly in the air for a moment before he carefully closes them around Ghoul. "Oh. Okay. Okay." He says quietly, startled, but not really. He'd felt the way Ghoul was holding onto him as they rode Mirage all the way out here.
Ghoul unfolds his arms from around himself and grabs onto the unzipped sides of Kobra's jacket. He doesn't cry, not out loud at least. He's just shaking, so much, and so, so small. Kobra's not good with words. He's even worse with them under pressure. Anything Jet or Party could say to make it better, that kind of stuff gets stuck on his tongue when Kobra tries to say it. So he doesn't. He just holds on.
"You plan on coming here?" Kobra asks eventually, even though he has a feeling the answer is no. Unless it's an engine or a bomb, Ghoul never really plans on much. Ghoul shakes his head, hair scrubbing against Kobra's shoulder and neck where his head's pressed. "You wanna... y'wanna go inside?" He asks then, against his better judgment. But then again, he's never been known for that, has he.
Ghoul tenses, but it momentarily stops the shaking. "Can we?"
Kobra huffs. "Nobody stoppin' us, and even if there were, we'd do it anyway, wouldn't we?"
Ghoul pries his fingers from their hold on Kobra's jacket and turns back toward the station. "Should we?"
"Dunno." Part of him thinks it might help. Part of him remembers exactly what happened the last time they were here. It's the Killjoy way to call death ghosting. It means some part of you lives on even when you're gone. There's a lot of ghosts in this pavement. "It's your-"
He can't think of what word goes there. Choice. Past. Grief. Place. So he stops talking. He shrugs, bends to pick up his helmet. "I can." He sucks a breath through his teeth. He's going to say it again. "I can... I can go with you. If you," he shrugs one shoulder again. "If you, uh, want to. I'm not- I'm not trying to force you," he adds, like it needs to be said. "It's your... yours."
Because that's all that really can be said. This place, the place that made Fun Ghoul what he is. The journey, however brief, that brought them here. Even, kinda, Kobra himself. It's all for Ghoul, here and now. Kobra drove, but he's just along for the ride. Weird how that happens.
Ghoul steps toward the station. Magnetism, again. And Kobra follows, because how could he not. He feels sick at the though of letting his friend go in that place alone.
The doors are gone. Shot out years ago. It looks to Kobra exactly as it did back then, but Ghoul probably remembers better. There are shelves toppled and glass and plastic broken all over the floor. Whatever hasn't been scavenged is broken and shattered. Ghoul walks toward the back of the store, the corner that's not so much a mess. Kobra stays back a bit, trying to give his friend space.
It's where they found Ghoul. Or, where Pois had found him. Ghoul was half in shock, terrified and scarred and fighting, and Party was the first one of their then three-strong group to notice the dark shape watching them hopelessly trawl the carnage for any survivors. It took Pois physically restraining the much smaller kid to keep Ghoul from going for all of their throats.
Kobra has a lot of bad memories of Ghoul. None are as bad as remembering the way he'd screamed when they first met.
"Y'okay?" Kobra asks after a while.
Ghoul has his moments. They all do. Sometimes, you wake up bad in the night and it's hard to pick yourself up. Sometimes you just gotta hit the bottom before you even can. But Ghoul's a fighter. "Yeah," he says, walking back and forth between fallen shelves once stocked with food and stupid trinkets. He crouches to pick up the shattered remnants of something once made of colorful glass and when he looks back over his shoulder at Kobra, he doesn't seem quite as small.
"'M sorry," Kobra mumbles, not knowing what to say now. Somehow, the shaking and the touch are so much easier than having to talk about it. He's never been the talker. That's Party. And he knows his brother regrets not getting there — here — sooner that day, but there's a sick, selfish part of Kobra that's too glad to have Ghoul to want anything different. But really, it's all he can say. If there's remnants of bones that haven't been carried away by carrion-eaters, he doesn't want to see it.
Ghoul slowly stands up from his spot on the floor, staring intently at the broken knick-knack in his palm. It might have been a glass teddy bear, once, something a parent might grab up for a child waiting at home. It's partially shattered, though. Half of its cartoonish smiling face is gone. The heart shape it once held in its paws is cracked down the middle. Kobra isn't great with metaphors, but this is pretty fucking obvious.
"I didn't save them," Ghoul says quietly, his voice grating through the charged, silent air. "I didn't save her."
Something clicks into place. They all know that the crew he lost was Ghoul's real actual biological family. He's a sandpup. He was born and raised in the Zones. He doesn't talk about it much. Kobra's shocked he even came back here, let alone with anyone else. Ghoul doesn't talk about his family, but they've all figured for a while that he had a sibling. You can see it in how he treats the Girl.
"Your sister," Kobra says. It doesn't sound like so much of a question when he says it out loud, but he knows Ghoul will understand it as one.
Ghoul nods. "Yeah." He steps over some toppled displays, sun-bleached ads that used to be bright colored, and slips the shiny piece of broken glass into one of Kobra's pockets since he doesn't have any of his own. Kobra can already see the sunburn forming on his friend's shoulders and the tops of his knees. "She was like, eight."
That's all the more he says about it, but Kobra slips his hand into the pocket and runs his fingers over the broken glass toy still warm from Ghoul's hands, and hears the years of grief and bitterness in the few words. Ghoul's more talky than he is, but he's cagey, too. Kobra can hear him, though. He gets it. Doesn't mean he knows what to say, though.
"Shit," he spits. He wants to say I'm sorry again, but that feels fuckin cheap. He wants to say stop beating yourself up about it, but that sounds even stupider. "Fuck." Sometimes that's all he can say.
"Yeah," Ghoul replies. "Fuckin shit."
"Exactly," Kobra agrees, fiercely relieved that Ghoul gets all the shit he's trying to say. "Hey, uh. Y'know I'm-" He stumbles over the words, cringes at himself for the inability to get past a stupid two-letter word. "I'm glad I know you." He manages, as selfish as it sounds standing here in the ghosted wreckage where Ghoul's family was killed. But if that hadn't happened, they wouldn't be here now. They wouldn't be friends. And Kobra needs Ghoul to know he's glad that any suicide run to save his family failed. The pain sucks, but he's grateful for the outcome. He hopes Ghoul can understand that.
Ghoul doesn't reply. His acid green eyes bore straight into Kobra's for a few seconds while Kobra's heart hammers in his chest. Then he kicks at some dust and looks at the floor and shrugs. "Let's go, man. I don't wanna stay here."
"M'kay."
Kobra's almost tempted to reach out as they walk back out into the glaring sun, grab onto Ghoul like he's a ghost, too, and the light might evaporate him. But he doesn't. He can't.
He thinks the feeling of Ghoul hanging onto him as he steers Mirage away, back up the ramp to the road they came down in the first place, will make him feel better. It doesn't. Ghoul holds on much looser than he had on the way here, and it makes Kobra nervous. He wonders if he should have made him wear a helmet, and steers more carefully around the turns.
And then Ghoul adjusts his seat and throws one arm up over Kobra's shoulder, loosely hooking around his neck. He leans up forward and shouts, "C'mon, Kobes, let's play with it!" Like he's itching for the risk that a couple hours ago had had him holding on for dear life. Kobra's used to thinking his best friend isn't all there. But he's also familiar with the times he is. Sometimes, he forgets they're not the same age because Ghoul is so larger than life.
He tips his head to the side in acknowledgement, and punches the throttle. He even pulls a couple of tight, quick loops. He can't slide on the pavement the way he would on sand, but he can catch a little air when there's a thermal bump in the highway. Ghoul clutches onto him, but it's not scared. Something's cleared up in the gas station. Maybe it was closure. Hell if Kobra knows.
When they pull Mirage off the highway and the diner finally comes back into view, just a small glint of signage, Kobra slows his pace and can feel Ghoul sigh more than he can hear it. His friend's arms stay firmly around him. "Hey, Kobes?" Ghoul says, just barely loud enough to be heard over the engine.
"Yeah?" Kobra says, a bit louder to be heard past his helmet.
Ghoul hesitates, then says in a rush, "I'm glad I know you too. Like, really glad." And then he squeezes Kobra a little tighter for just a second and Kobra can't even say anything in reply. It's been a long night at the wrong time of day. And they're almost home.
#yes I know kobra is doing that annoying ''r u ok'' thing very repetitively he's like me he repeats himself A LOT it's ok. we still love him#I cannot express this enough. kobra has a stutter. literally sometimes the only word that will come out is just. F bomb.#the others have gotten very good at translating him skskskddkfj#btw wrt kobra's speech patterns just know I'm cutting WAY back on the amount of repeating I do irl#like I'm giving him my (mild) stutter but cutting down the repetitions by a lot bc it looks weird on paper#so whenever he's repeating himself and stammering? yeah it's a lot more like a scratched CD than how I typed it out#in my head it's like SUPER noticeable. like everyone knows this happens and that sometimes he has to stop and be quiet#and take a minute before he can get on with what he's saying. it's just a thing#ok now that I'm done rambling about kobra kid having a stutter- :)#btw they're like 16 and 17 here. they are children trying to navigate these very big emotions and I love them so so dearly#next time I need to emotionally or physically hurt kobra skfjfnskdn I keep going after poor ghoul#ok I think that's all I have to say for now#she speaks!#she writes!#danger days#the true lives of the fabulous killjoys#danger days: the true lives of the fabulous killjoys#ttlotfk#kobra kid#fun ghoul#this isn't really funkobra just bc I don't actually ship ANYONE here skskfjdghkdjgfkd#I'm much more compelled by platonic relationships that are kinda the Secret Third Thing than I am by romance. so. yeah
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The Fernweh Saga by @lacunafiction - Davor edition
I-I think Ms. Verner doesn't like him...😳
Davor "Dove" Kovač
🐝 RO: Becca Warrick
Personality: cautious // aloof // pessimistic // flirtatious (only towards Becca ...and Reese??)
Traits: head // independent // resistance // believer
Past affinity: math
Primary ability: extrasensory awareness
Past susceptibility: forward.
'it’s better to push forward. don’t look back on the past when you have new places to be and things to achieve.' <<< his motto
🕊️ Fernweh: Davor lived a happy life there and didn't think about leaving in the future. Maybe for some trips, but he knew it would always be his place, his safe place...
'It was a mistake to come back here.' - that was his first thought when he tried to fall asleep on the first night in Fernweh. The nightmares came back as he thought they would. He wants to leave as soon as possible because he feels that it is not safe for Becca to be here.
🕊️ Gramps Dan: That was his gramps who taught Davor how to play the guitar. As a young child, Davor always admired him and believed he was the most intelligent person in the world.
After the death of his parents and how his grandfather treated him, he was devastated and angry. He wanted answers soo badly but didn't get any. He lived loathing his grandfather ever since. The news of his passing stirred up a lot of negative emotions that Davor had previously managed to suppress. At the beginning of the story he couldn't care less about his grandfather, but because of his journal he started to believe him. Things that his granfather lived through made Davor even more angry at this messy town …but he's willing to forgive his gramps…
🐝 Becca Warrick: It was a ...funny story that brought both of them together and they look after each other ever since. He considers Becca as his precious (not in a negative-possessive way) treasure, he literally can't let anything bad happen to her. That was also she who came up with the nickname 'Dove'... (and she's literally the only person who calls him that, others wouldn't dare...). He had feelings for her for quite some time but didn't act on it... until now.
Although he didn't express it, he felt very nervous about Becca being in the town where he grew up. He was curious (but also scared) about what she could think of this town. He felt like he was revealing more of himself to her…. and he forgot about any worries pretty fast, because the town started being weird as fu--.
🕊️ Reese Verner: Back then Davor was quite cheerful and enjoyed competing with Reese regularly. They teased each other a lot. Davor always thought that Reese had a crush on him, was it true tho? donut know, but he certainly had.
...why does he appear in his nightmares? Maybe the crush stage never disappeared...? Seeing him again was a nice experience, sure... but ignoring the circumstances, he is still unsure if it was worth it and is struggling with his thoughts… Would it be worth it to return to Fernweh just to see him... again? welp, good thing he doesn't have to think about it much, am I right?
🕊️ Sofia Dorran: The two of them maybe did not have a strong relationship, but he knew Sofia is the ideal person for engaging in intelligent conversations. He enjoyed spending time with her, solving the puzzles that gramps created for them both. Davor wasn't a fan of fantasy books, but she managed to change his mind about them.
Davor knows that Sofia did take good care of his grandfather, but he still doesn't quite know if he's grateful for that or wished she spent her time more... valuably... He was tempted to ask Sofia to borrow that book she found in his grandfather's bedroom, but he thought better of it. It's better to leave Fernweh… Even so, his curiosity wasn't properly fed.
🕊️ James Corvin: Maybe not brothers by blood, but definitely brothers by choice. Davor treated him as if he was the brother he always wanted to have. Back then Davor always placed a high value on his family… until now. At the time, Davor tended to be more impulsive and James was usually the one who kept him from getting into trouble (which often involved Reese).
It was really hard, for both of them, to see each other after so long. Their first interaction was pretty awkward... I would even say that most of their interactions were . James noticed how Davor changed the question is: for the better or worse? I don't even know. Everyone can sense, that things around them are different now, and they aren't as close as before. Will it change?
🕊️ Alek Corvin: …To say that Alek wasn't a fan of Davor would be an understatement. Was it because James spent most of his time focusing only on Davor trying to get him out of trouble? Did Alek observe any possessiveness from Davor towards James? Or maybe simply because of the bond between those two, which was truly something that others would envy and desire? Davor never considered it, especially when he left Fernweh permanently. :))
As you can imagine, Alek doesn't seem very happy about Davor's return… But he took an interest in his new friend, Becca, which did not go unnoticed by Davor and he isn't really happy about it.
🕊️ The Waitress: Oh boy, it seems that Davor has taken up a new hobby, which is glaring harshly at the waitress. He finds her mistrustful and he smells trouble. Had they met when he was younger, there may have been a slim chance of them getting along.
🕊️ Waffles!: So um… Davor has a little issue with dogs and because of that his relationship with Waffles isn't as wonderful as I wish it would be... However, I believe that with time and help from Becca, they will eventually become friends.
#actually about his scar i have this whole headcanon... featuring some...umm.. doggos and Becca... 👀 especially how they met#(Davor was always team cats but after that incident even more xD)#also ouch that naming scene it hurt me so much! but i get it ;; aaaa! Davor why are you being so problematic Waffles is wonderful!!!#it was really interesting for me to messing with Davor in nightmares and showing him Reese!! the feelings the emotions aaaa#also yeeaah Davor thought several times if it would be a good idea to come back to Re-- *cough* Fernweh... and then Becca happened...#generally speaking Davor has a keen interest in Slavic mythologies and culture particularly those from western and southern regions of-#-Europe. I imagine that his father has roots in these regions and he took great pride in his heritage. Often taking about it to Davor#...and since Sofia's a smart girl she lent Davor a fantasy book written by Slavic author who took a great inspiration from Slavic myths👼😊#yes it was enough to change Davor's mind about fantasy books XD he never really read one before he just assumed it's BORING!#and now I'm sure he will throw questions at Sofia about this book she found even more since he's staying at Fernweh... I can imagine how-#-they both are staying up late studying it and comparing their notes... it would remind Davor about the time they were kids-#-it seems that his Gramps gave them both the last puzzle to solve... will they succeed?#and ooohh that will be a hard time for James and Davor... that rejection at the end of book one wont help them im sure XD#about Davor's 'possesivenes' over James... Davor was needy that's true but he would never think about 'stealing' James from Alek or-#-'claiming' James belongs to him. I hope im not crossing a line here but in my headcanon Alek was TOTALLY jealous over their friendship#and Alek THOUGHT that Davor was receiving more attention from James 👀#//which obv isn't true because James would never allow it. Alek is always a number one in James' heart//#in mine too I love A!!!! 💖 they're a BABY#but i must say that Davor didn't really think about Alek's feelings back then. he wasn't aware how Alek could feel- that's not an excuse#super curious about book two and how his relationships with every single one of them will develop!!!#fernweh saga#oc: davor kovac#no i totally did NOT change his surname..
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today was ok good great bad 😭 rant in tags lets try to be normal abt this
#it's not tuscan leather， but they do smell like mint and cherries and a fireplace. they kissed me#all over my back， and my hand， and my shoulders. i only ever kissed them on the lips. i only ever kiss them#when i'm about to leave them at the station gates. some red-eyed bloodhound cancelled their own plans and i laughed with them like a friend#i asked if they want me to bring them a hot water bottle or painkillers or a pair of lungs for them to eat.#the person in front of me has 4 lungs and 2 hearts and a brown leather coat and those bright radiance-incarnate kind of eyes.#you know the kind i mean. their hands are diligent with the pen. they say that i'm an angel and i'm right and i decide#the truths-in-all-possible-worlds. they say they only perceive the parts of me that i'd like perceived. they say all the right things.#the dog doesn't mind at all. the next station is edgeware road again. the dog says don't come over baby. its all slurred and deep and#shallow. returns a falsum. i really like you， baby. let's just be nothing， baby. i can't comprehend that anyone was raised unhappy.#she has free gaza painted on the back of her designer jacket， and she says she can't believe people suffer. there's something wrong with me#baby， why else would i turn down two perfect girls? she broke my nose， baby. ye zendegie dige ashaghet misham azize delam.#she might be a rich bitch but i only lived in kensington， baby. sunshine says they can't have kids because they plan to be#an enemy of many states. i offered to meet them but i look up and i notice the blonde streaks in their hair moving in the light.#i tell sunshine i'll never sleep with them. they want me in such a kind way it almost hurts.#they say we have a lot to teach other. i put the dog down again. my friend is wrapped around me. my friend walks me to the station.#i kiss them goodbye at the gates.
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KJ choosing to lay 1) underneath a coffee table by herself and 2) across the end of a bed like a dog are both A+ choices. Peak teen girl shit, no notes.
#paper girls#paper girls spoilers#kj brandman#this kid is such a fucking mood#like the idea that she’s in such dire need of places to hide at home to think or just be herself#that she defaults to lounging under a coffee table in a stranger’s home in 2019 to contemplate her guilt? hurts me.#and then them all laying in the bed like normal people except for KJ sprawling at the foot? again presumably out of shame?#i mean yes also she is the tallest but ooof#anyway everybody should count their blessings tumblr can’t format bullet points the way I want#cuz I definitely had a whole list of Favorite Beats drafted that you have now been spared#(I say spared. I’ll just post ‘em at random until the fixation passes.)
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pffffft what? no debbie gallagher scene could make me cry. she’s an annoying drop out teen mom who’s character was ruined. nobody likes her, why would i cry ove-
“hey! celia! tonya! open the goddamn door! give me back my baby! give me back my daughter! hey, franny! franny- franny, baby! oh- i’m here! mommy’s here, baby, i’m right here! i will kill you if you don’t give me back my daughter! i’ll fucking kill you! you hear me? i’ll burn your house down! you hear me? she needs me!”
#where’s emma kenney’s emmy for this scene??#where is it??#debbie literally created franny so that she wouldn’t be abandoned#she made her so that she would never leave- she remembers feeling such a connection with her mother- and she would’ve never left monica#but then franny is stolen from her#and debbie has just lost everything- all she really had was franny#yes she had neil but she wouldn’t have done that if she wasn’t desperate to keep her kid safe#and what debbie says makes me feel like its what she wanted to hear from monica#that she was here and she would kill to get her daughter back#because monica was never there and debbie was taken away several times#which makes what monica says/does hurt more#she gets franny back#and then tells debbie ‘daughters always miss their mommies- did you miss me?’#and debbie doesn’t say yes#as if what monica did didn’t rip her up inside#as if the abandonment was nothing to her and as if she ever ends up recovering from what monica did to her#emma kenney is so talented with comedic and dramatic acting#i could go on and on about it#y’all just can’t see it because you hate debbie but emma can ACT#i wish she was in more but she really isn’t in much and she doesn’t get to show off her skills often#shameless#debbie gallagher#franny gallagher#7x08
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My thoughts on Mai is probably so irrelevant right now but i love thinking about the wasted potential in exploring Megumi’s dynamic with the Zenin Clan because he had to have some contact with them over the course of his childhood, meaning that Mai had to interact with the kid at some point (which she did I think it’s canon) and for Mai to instantly know that Megumi is a little child genius/prodigy. Also for Mai to have a little crush on Megumi (I know most find this disgusting seeing that those two are family but I think everyone forgets that the Zenin is built on incest)
Mai putting her hopes into Megumi of him somewhat changing the Zenin when he becomes Clan Head only for those hopes to be crushed bc Megumi fucked off? I find that so depressing because she probably didn’t understand (or fully comprehend) the reasoning behind Megumi cutting off contact. I know it probably hurt her for a while because she genuinely wanted to be close to him seeing as he was the only boy (i’m assuming) that was ever truly kind to her and her sister.
I’m clinging onto that Mai tag for dear life because I’m really interested in seeing her thoughts on Megumi. Admittedly, she probably grew out of the hero worship she had for him. Maybe it was replaced with some bitterness seeing as he wouldn’t be the Clan Head now unless something happens to Gojo, so Megumi won’t be her hope in that clan. She’s stuck with Naoya who probably wants her as a wife.
NAOYA. God my thoughts on his dynamic with Megumi…it could be something so complex. Like Naoya could see Toji in the boy, who he has an obsession with but he also see Gojo, and he also see the little brat who may fear him on some level but is not afraid to stand up to him which pisses him off. He also sees his replacement, a boy who has the potential to rival Gojo, making him the potential heir. I could see him being like the only one out of the Zenin who wants that kid gone, out of sight and out of mind. Like everyone else abuses him to make him become something great. Naoya would do it to take out his anger on the kid who is everything he always wanted to be and he doesn’t even know it.
Naobito. I have no thoughts on the old drunk. I do find it interesting how Kamo said something about how Megumi is either more useful or more suitable than Naobito. I forgot the wording. I can see Naobito truly caring for Megumi though in his own fucked up way because Megumi is everything he wanted in a heir. But that care doesn’t really stop him from hurting Megumi.
Maki. Well. Best aunt/nephew duo. If the Zenin ever had a family dinner or get together, those two are definitely the ones who sits in the corner and talks shit. They definitely try and fuck shit up in the house. You would find them in the kitchen spitting in Naoya’s food. You’re gonna look me in the eyes and tell me I’m wrong? I dare you. All in all, they see a sibling in each other. Especially after losing Tsumiki/Mai. Megumi if definitely her favorite kouhai. Some may argue it’s Nobara. But listen. SEE THE VISION. Megumi has the family pass. Megumi gets Maki in a way that most don’t. But Megumi is still Yuta’s boy though. Maki sometimes fight for custody however.
Excuse my rambling guys. I was just in a silly mood thinking about Gege and his….questionable writing decisions lately.
This has been sitting half answered in my asks for like a month. If you have an ask that never got answered please know that it’s probably in my drafts haunting me.
Oh Gege’s sure. Made some decisions recently. And they’re uh. They sure are decisions. That he made. For some reason.
Maki and Megumi are the bio family dream team to me. I simply love their bond. They have identical resting bitch faces. They’re always on the same bullshit. Both are completely insane in the same way. The bio family they each always wanted but never had. Megumi is Yuuta’s Boy but that doesn’t stop Maki from making her own play for the title.
Mai’s entire thing with having a crush on Megumi becomes a little bit more comfortable if it’s framed like “he was the best option.” The Zenin do practice incest, so her entire dating pool was likely framed to her as blood family from the start. She also is the only female (other than Maki) born to that bloodline around clan leadership that we know of, so she was probably viewed as a “desirable” spouse. Marriage was probably used as a means of navigating social status, so her parents are probably planning to use her as a chip for their own political games now that their own future has sort of stagnated. After all, both their kids are sort of failures by Zenin standards, and they don’t have any other kids incoming that could do better. This is basically canon to me—they did try to make a marriage contract with Naoya, who’s very high in the clans leadership and the only other contender for clan head other than Megumi himself. She’s probably spent her entire life knowing that her parents would try for marry her off to the person in the clan with the highest status, and that’s probably been considered Naoya or one of his brothers for a long time.
There’s Naobito, the actual clan head, who appears to have had all sons. Toji appears to be Naobito’s nephew, meaning his father or mother was directly from that same line, and Megumi’s its continuation. And Naobito’s brother is Maki and Mai’s father, who produced the only girls.
The Zenin clan values power above all else, so we can assume that the line that is leading the clan tends to have a lot of cursed energy and skill. Mai and Maki didn’t get that, but they are still close tie to the line.
Mai was never supposed to be a jujutsu sorcerer. She didn’t have enough cursed energy for it. She only ended up going to the Kyoto school because Maki fucked off and the Zenin wanted to make a point. But we know how the Zenin treats women—since she didn’t have enough potential to be a sorcerer but was a member of a powerful bloodline who had cursed energy herself, she was probably viewed as a prime candidate to continue the family line, as seen with them trying to marry her off to fucking Naoya, who was a pretty high candidate for heir to the clan.
Of course, Megumi inherited the Ten Shadows. He actually did beat out Naoya for the position of heir without having put any effort or involvement into the position. He likely would have instantly shot to the top of the list for clan heir the second they knew he existed. Like, he was still installed as clan head when he actively had nothing to do with the clan. When he was a kid, and everyone was assuming they’d be able to bring him back into the clan and raise him as Zenin? It would probably be considered as close to an absolute as anything gets to them.
I could see Mai kind of romanticizing the idea of Megumi as a result, especially when she was younger Naoya was actively abusive to her and had the personality of a used gym sock dipped in shit and left on highway to rot. Megumi 1) wasn’t raised with them, so felt the least like her family 2) was actually nice to her, the one time she got to spend time with him and 3) was nice to Maki. And as bad as it was for Mai, Maki was the least accepted member of the clan at the time. She was a girl and she had little to no cursed energy. Mai canonically idolised her sister as a young girl and probably hated to see how everyone mistreated her.
Megumi intervening on her behalf when Naoya targeted her would have been monumental to her. It would have been the ultimate way of saying “everything will be okay” when she just didn’t have that sense of the future growing up.
For one thing, Megumi was guaranteed to have a position of extreme authority within the clan itself as he got older. But when he intervened on her behalf, he didn’t.
He didn’t save Mai with his own authority within the clan. He didn’t extend his protection over her, because he didn’t have any protection. When they finally all got caught, the first thing Naoya did was strike him across the face hard enough to knock him over.
They all got beaten horribly for that stunt. And they all expected it from the start, because that’s what their family did.
Megumi stuck his neck out for her. He took a beating because he didn’t like Naoya bullying her around. He intervened for Mai when it was to his own direct detriment, and she never forgot it. Her own parents weren’t doing that.
Which meant that she sort of hoped that when Megumi got older and became an authority in the clan, people would stop hurting her entirely.
Megumi didn’t have the authority as a little kid to just order Naoya to fuck off, but he was pretty much guaranteed to have it one day. There had always been people in the clan where, if you had their favor, no one could touch you. Mai had just never had anyone’s favor before. But Megumi was the Ten Shadows, and he was practically cosmically ordained as the most important person in their clan in five hundred years, and he was kind to her, and he said they could be friends. He said they’d stay friends.
It cost Megumi a lot to protect her as kids. It gave her a lot of very real hope that he’d keep doing it when it cost him nothing, and that there would come a day where it would just stop hurting so much.
And it wasn’t just her. It was also a future where Maki could maybe be happy.
One of the central facets of Mai’s character is that she desperately wishes for a world where Maki would have stayed in the clan with her. She wanted Maki to keep her promise. She wanted Maki to just be content doing a few chores and keeping her head down.
At this time, Maki hadn’t broken her promise yet, but I think that Mai still wanted that as their future. Her and Maki together, with Maki never leaving her, and both of them safe in the compound from the curses that terrified Mai.
Even if Megumi was nice to her, there should have been the lingering doubt as to whether he would also make the clan safe for Maki, but that fear got shattered when she joined them in Mai’s hideout.
He didn’t treat her like garbage. He said that they could be friends too. Maki bossed him around while they played, and the most he did was grumble at her. He treated Maki better than their own parents were treating them, and he did it without a thought.
So yeah. Mai had a lot of hopes pinned on Megumi when she was a very young girl. And I think if she had any feelings for him, it was more trying to force herself to have those feelings, because the world he offered was by far the one she wanted the most. Whether she was in love with him was almost the least important consideration.
If Mai was going to be married off to the heir to the clan, better Fushiguro “respect women” Megumi than Zenin “if she breathes she’s a thot” Naoya. He made her see a future she and Maki could be happy in for once, and then it all got ripped away.
I definitely see Mai as having a lot of bitterness towards Megumi leaving the clan, but I don’t think it was initially against him. I think she was initially bitter as hell against gojo. She was a little kid buying into the propaganda, which is that it wasn’t their Ten Shadows rejecting them, no, it was gojo stealing him away. That’s definitely changed and developed over the years, but I won’t say how.
#sea glass gardens#see the thing is that I don’t think romantic love was every proffered to her as important growing up#the Zenin clan married to have kids and further political games#love wouldn’t have factored into it or every been posed to her as a major consideration#megumi was the only person she’s ever wanted to marry and to her that might as well be love#it had less to do with anything as to who he is as a person and more because she had two options and one was a misogynistic wife beater who#had ten years on her and whose personality was ass#the other was about her age and respected women and intervened to make sure she wasn’t hurt#there was. no competition. yes please let’s go the path that means her and her sister won’t be beat their entire lives#also I have a backlog of about 90ish asks right now so please know if you sent me a message I’m not ignoring you I just am working through#them still. I saw the message and loved it. it was great and made my day.#I tend to write long answers to asks too which means there’s a lot that just end up half finished or take a long time to get out
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Wait omg..... Jessica Cruz probably did rifle... my specialized sports knowledge coming in CLUTCH
Okay so I barely practiced and made it to regionals like once so im NOT the expert here but uh headcanoning that Jess did air rifle when she was a teen. Like idk if it would be as part of a team like with a high school (what I'm familiar with) vs like an individual thing vs like a travel/competitive team (it depends on the sitch in her area growing up) but she definitely went to some national matches (probably including JOs/JO quals like i think she was GOOD). I think she probably would have quit competitively following a bad shot at nationals (relatable) along with anxiety about competition (ALSO relatable) but still kept up with shooting casually for fun and relaxation and to hang out with friends etc.
She definitely would have shot smallbore competitively too but I never did that bc I was lazy so idk to much abt it competitively
#and by bad shot i mean a 0#it hurts me to even think abt doing that during a match actually esp at fucking JOs#a girl on my team did that and im sure it was devastating (we never let her live it down after too) but like dang. i feel that pain#im just saying she would vibe sooooooo hard with rifle. like canonically they just said she did it but im talking air in particular#also in the panel they said six which first off. humphries bro thats TOO young ik youre trying to be impressive but youre talking abt rifle#here. if someones let their kid have a gun at 6 theres actually smth wrong with them. and not even a bb or smth wtf#ANYWAYS you guys haveeeee to understand this. jess would go so hard for rifle she would fit right in w every competitive shooter ive ever#met istg-#she would be out there on the porch 35° weather in full gear mid match crying w the rest of us it would be great#wait wait shoutout to the time i had to get smth from my car and there were like 4 ppl out there crying during the middle of standing#like i literally FEEL THAT SO HARD (weve all been there) but also like... awkwarddddddd#4 is an unusually large amount though. normally its like 2 ppl at a time first relay. with more 1st relay ppl crying after than during#gosh rifle omg this is making me miss it#<<<<freshman/sophomore me would kill me for saying this btw. i HATED practicing so bad then omg#OH and Jess would be a kneeling girlie. fave position. why ? bc i said so shut up#no but bc its my favorite position (yes i know its the worst okay. im aware of all the reasons kneelings sucks and why everyone hates it.#but you know what? kneeling hates everyone equally and i respect that) no but uh yeah ✌️✌️✌️✌️#top 10 posts that are 80% jargon and only i care about 😘#anyways this is canon to me now actually#like idc what you say she was down in the trenches (the range) w the rest of us#also ik she almost certainly would have shot paper but in my mind she practices mainly w electronic bc thats what i used (even if its super#uncommon and is only used at the nice ranges) if she was super competitive she would probably have driven to shoot electronic. lets just say#there was a paper nearby and an electronic scoring range a bit farther or smth#anyways yeah#WAIT OMG SHE DEFINITELY MET HER FRIENDS FROM HER BACKSTORY THROUGH RIFLE#and the dating drama too omg rifle drama was INSANE. like i was almost always out of the loop bc i never practiced and didnt have snapchat#but like the drama was INSANE. fucking wild. at least to my nerdy ass self. so her relationship drama makes total sense now okay babe fr#jessica cruz#blah
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Someone stop me sending a passive-aggressive thank you for considering it message to the lecturer who said she wouldn't let me take a quiz at a later date despite my being like. actually pretty sick.
#Sighhhhh#Id skip it but the developmental psych lecturer hates me and is determined to sink my gpa#So i might as well do well in this course#When asked about low marks on the midterm. (which went really well actually. I knew all the answers /and/justified them.) she said content#Was good but the writing was really bad#Huh? T.T#Like it's totally legible. Not cutesy yes. But legible...#ANYWAY. im gonna loudly drag a chair off to the side tomorrow. 'sorry. Just making sure i dont get anyone else sick. Continue please :)'#Also sneezing every few minutes today so that should be fun in class tomorrow :)#:)#(ok im kidding but also am i really dragging myself out of bed tomorrow? T.T everything hurts and my throat itches and my body has yet to#Decide if it wants a fever or not because im alternating between feverish and then the hated fever-breaking state#:(#I attend every class. I stay awake. I answer questions. I do well in exams/quizes/assignments. Ive earnt a sick day :(
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