#yeah life ig but also i just have not wanted to
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yknow what maybe it was good that i never got more than 1 req for drawing anything ever because i did not ever complete that. soz. and i dont even post art t o my enstars art account i made specifically for posting enstars art. woopsi. i havent posted anything at all for a week have i
#ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm#: 3 i dont have a reason#yeah life ig but also i just have not wanted to#anyway reqs still open!!!!!!!!!! :zany_face: en.stars fans are fond of a crazy roulette right#idc its not like i built up an audience here or anything theres nobody like screaming crying begging for my uh. whatever i draw#maybe tumblr user ei.mugi should be posting more ei.mugi#havent udpated my fic in ages either but maybe procrastinating my assignments now that im back at uni will inspire me#trying to save my brainpower for the bi.gbang tho#its getting there!!! its getting there....dcaf i mean... i have SOME of ch4 written....#im just =w= yeah. hehe. hai btw if youre reading his boyfie < 3333 mwahmwah#i got that health issue swag. the bad bitches i pulled by being so so sleepy#i think like more than a month ago in the bi.gbang server i was like lol guys what if i made an ask account and then i forgot IMMEDIATELY#for the best . probably#yeahhhhhh#twiddles my fingies#yeahhh.
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I like to think of halbarry as two gay men who haven't come to terms with their sexuality and complete denial bc of their trauma and bullying
like what you said in flashpoint paradox where in that timeline he got the support system and no trauma I think
I think it makes sense to me them being gay than bi/pan. etc
oh this could not have come at a worse time, i’m drawing the most bisexual halbarryisms in the world rn 💔
#danswers#dc#halbarry#hal jordan#barry allen#green lantern#the flash#danbles#i never updated on this but i finally decided my ‘true canon’ is that they’re both bi!#and yes including hal’s pansexual ass. it doesn’t rly make a difference either way but EYE personally interpret him as bi too#and ik i said all that stuff abt fpp but i think the problem is that the hc dismisses barry’s current life#as if having trauma could negate newer experiences#i think it makes more narrative sense to combine the memories of both timelines to make him feel more complete rather than choose either or#rings some bisexual bells doesn’t it?#not to mention barry’s compartmentalization is not strictly gay in fact it works thematically with the bi angle#as for hal. well i want her to be bi^2 to put it simply. the bisexual bigender agenda. bigenda#i also think that the way hal views gender is deeply fascinating and makes it harder for me to view him as pan bc of it?#not that i think being bi or pan has any singular experience but ig it makes more sense to me as someone that has identified as both#idek if hal would use labels i just describe her with specific ones as a way to communicate my own interpretations. he’s just living life#so yeah they’re repressed for sure. but i also don’t think that makes them gay#the post you referenced was an oldie tho i’m glad it still resonated with someone!#none of this is canon anyway so hc whatever you’d like <3#i’ll only fight someone if they say barry specifically is the token straight. targeting him just bc he’s boring smh…
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This really was our yumenosaki academy♡
#sooo baaad even if i graduate in summer theyre not giving me the diploma til end of 2024??#lets all brainstorm how i can get shu's human comedy monologue up on a poster advertising the grad show... for funsies really#its in my intro to the essay but it doesnt really have much to do with the visuals. which is what i'll need to submit for the posters#hmm well... no thatd look bad. i could go open indesign now but i dont want to i wanna go homeee#ive given up on caring about the project im just committed to the bit the target audience is me myself and its my requiem to art#but ive been telling people about my visual project and they all said theyre really excited to see it...? but it takes me months#of severe despair to get a good concept sorted out. im glad they all said they cant wait to see it... im curious myself#tomorrow ill try to play with recording it. then really lock in to the visuals#what are we thinking. digital spaceship or a real life installation?#the setting is you as the audience are an intergalactic truck driver passing by earth tuning in to the radio listening to a professor#studying humans give a talk about them. mini podcast ig? intergalactic cultural radio vibes?#you get it#so the audio is quite important but then also the setting#do i make it digital and ppl put on headphones and watch a screen?#or do i make it an installation irl#it wouldve been quite good if i made it in vr but i have 3 weeks no experience in the medium and um. well. yeah#i think it's a nice goodbye since i get to project my views on humanity through the alien and also he's a revamped version of#my first ever proper oc. carl the alien#isnt that a nice way to end this journey for now? i think so.
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you are not gonna be able to guess what lucky circumstances I managed to accidentally get myself into this time lmao I secured myself a spot at a nude drawing class without even knowing it was a nude drawing class. it’s absolutely fantastic tho! the class is usually super popular and spots are hard to get so I was really lucky
#I’m just gonna pop by every few weeks spam reblog a bunch of posts and then yell about my personal life#without responding to any messages or anything else#and that’s gonna be my blog for a while ig#sorry!#but yeah it was rly funny when we entered the room and my friend and I set up our supplies and just chit chatted with them#and some other students#and I suddenly was like#wait so this is completely a nude drawing class?#and everyone was like#classic Gigi move#in my defence:#I assumed it was a general drawing class#cause the course description had mentioned it being a basic class#'from nude drawings based on models to portraits’#so I was aware it would be a part of it but not the entire class#so yeah#I’m facing my demons this semester#in a really mild way#cuz I actually do not enjoy drawing and painting that much#it’s why I rly struggled in all of my drawing classes#so when I picked classes for this semester I was like well#the description explicitly said everyone even absolute beginners were welcome#and it was about personal skill development rather than already having skills and being graded on them#which is why I thought hm I should do this and stick to it#if I stick to it I will definitely build my skills and if I don’t do that at uni I certainly wont do that at home#sorry for thw long ramblings#I am trying to be healthy and also responsible this semester and stick to actually going to classes#and not chickening out in them and staying home because I have weird compulsive thoughts that keep me from leaving the house ✨#and I also want to be diligent and hard working this semester#gigi babbles
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me + mayhem going on a stupid silly hike for my stupid silly mental health
touched grass and i am normal again (lying)
#i will get back to drawing soon let me just sleep for a few years shdjhkfds#anyway photo credit to mayhem again i cant take pictures to save my life lol#btw the caption is obvs reference to that one hike video tiktok i think so credit to that also its not my joke#anywqay it was nice did help me a little bit#been feeling a bit down due to some personal problems ykno#and also due to not being accepted into a med uni I rly wanted to (but didn't put enough effort I'll confess) and that almost no one getsin#but i was only missing one point o(-( i was the first in line outside the capacity limit hasjkdhsahd#even tho my brain is rly small for it lets be real hfjsdfhksd but like hhsdjhshdjkhd those biches at physiotherapy baited me hdsjd#mqf i have failed you lol#also i have accidentaly gotten back into one piece as I do for like two weeks periodically every few months or so dhjsdhk#so im revisiting my olde blorbo trafalgar which is just reminding me of a fact that this was one of the fuckers my itty bitty young self -#- wanted to pursue medicine beacause of lmaoooo#bad timing one piece fixation!! bad bad!! sdhhdjshdjakshd#whatevrrr whatevr whatevr io dotn care! enough of that hahhskj#but hey as some of u may remeber im czech so haa whats up with the mountains right since we are very cute and 'down to earth' state hahaha#its cuz its actually from austria :))#we went hiking there since theyre co by kamenem dohodil as they say#fuck english has the exactly same saying im moron that ruins my whole thing hjdsk 'a stone's throw away' whatever ignore that ig hahhah#so yeah very beautiful very powerful go touch some grass lads#also they are not stones throw away i was lying but close enough-#also random czechs stop jumpscaring me in other countries challenge why was there so many of us horrible horrible horrible
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Does it seem familiar?
Waking up in a world with 13 other players, thinking nothing of them, at first. Running around alone, untied, unfettered, until a single choice binds you to a single person. but you now run around knowing how it ends, knowing of the inevitable red that will spread and then spill, knowing that now and more because of the ticking clock within your chest. but you now wake knowing that one of the players, the very one you would think of, is missing; and now you bind yourself because of an offer, rather than a debt.
Taking up the role of protector. Bodyguard. Hand. Different words acting as shells around an essence of the same meaning; a meaning you never thought you’d apply to yourself, now worn with pride twice. but now you’re the one with less time on the the clock. but now the person you protect is in danger because of how much life he has, not how little.
Does it seem familiar?
In just a few hours, chaos unfolding. Lives being lost; friends being hunted; and, when everything reaches its lowest point, the person you pledged your life to protect asking you to do the impossible. but this time it’s a resort, not a request. but this time it’s to give to you, not than to take from others. but this time it’s to bring peace rather than wage war.
...Does it seem familiar?
(And it’s the sea, not the land. A resort rather than a fortress, a duo rather than an army, a show from the 90s rather than a medieval war. But these are just different guises acting as shells around an essence of the same meaning; of the same actions, repeating over and over again.
And yet-
To offer, not to pay. To protect purely from compassion, not with necessity. To give, not take. For peace.
...These events, you think, are like a shard of glass tossed into the sea. The essence is there and will always be, but the sharp edges are dulled by time and saltwater. They become softer. Smoother. Their core remains, and yet the harshness is lost to days the gone by.)
(Except there’s something else. Time may dull rough edges, but time is not the only force acting here. Just as sharp shards can be smoothed, smooth stones can be sharpened.
After every winter, there comes a spring.
The thrill to kill the fleeting gill.
Always remember: the world is not kind. And if it is, it’s not very interesting to Watch.)
--
Or, in other words:
A single day/And then it’s gone
Doomed to repeat/Our will be done.
#and yeah remember how 3rd life was made of 8 3 hour sessions?#lasting 24 hours or a single day?#weirdly familiar huh...#also i'm not throwing any shade on renchanting (don't worry guys) i'm just thinking about how the circumstances for this seem so-#-much kinder in a way#buttttt not for long!!#not if the watchers have anything to say about it#but i do love just how equal the mean gills feel like there's no hierarchy or external duty or anything it's just nice to see#limited life smp#3rd life smp#3lsmp#limited life spoilers#martyn inthelittlewood#mean gills#renchanting duo#not a ship thing but if you really want to interpret it that way sure ig#although i would prefer if you didn't tag it with ship tags#<- she says assuming it's going to be reblogged at all#anyway everybody say thank you martyn for doing lore and thank you charrifire for encouraging the lore#i love it so much#trafficblr#my writing#(?)#traffic life ficlets
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hello friends, this is no longer a sims blog & im not returning to ts4 anytime soon 🫡
#got myself a ps5 :') now i can play more interesting games while not having to think about building a pc & budget & billion other things atm#and i prefer console over pc so it's just a personal preference#yeah it would be nice to have reshade/mod installed i want to take pretty pictures 😭 but we make do#anyway ive been wanting to play assassin's creed for soooo long but couldn't#(not financially just that the switch & ts4 alone cause me enough distraction from being a decent human with responsibility and a life)#first dipped my toes with black flag but it definitely wasn't made with potential consumer in mind#the game literally: ig you've played the other 3 so you know what to do. NO I DONT??#not beginner friendly at all i was overwhelmed 😭#so i restarted with origins since they literally reboot the series and#it was the best decision i've ever made!! reliving my childhood egypt fantasy with the badass medjay bayek of siwa 🫡#also the game!! exploring ancient egypt tomb raiding assassinating rp as bayek a wholesome man at heart#so yeah! im enjoying every second of it!! be it ps5 or the game 😋#dippi.txt
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this guy keeps asking me about how organizing is going and i keep saying, like, i have been really busy and exhausted dealing with other things at the moment, and i don't think we will be able to unionize at all if it is literally just me doing any organizing & i got written up recently for something minor which im scared could be used as a fake reason to fire me if the museum catches wind of what im up to. and i need other people's help. and he keeps going ok cool well hope u find someone, bc I really need xyz addressed.
which is frustrating bc yeah im not getting anyone to agree to help w the actual organizing part even though it seems like everyone I've talked to wants a union, but this guy specifically is like. real surprised and disappointed that im not Doing More while making it clear he's not gonna do fuck all himself.
and he just dmed me an article about another local museum unionizing and as much as I'm happy for that museum the fact that he sent it makes me want to scream
#messages from the ouija board#sadies day job#hes a friend but also some of his complaints uhhh fucking suck!#doesnt want more pay so much as he wants the one guy in our dept w only a hs diploma (who isnt working toward a bachelors) to get paid LESS#bc hes like well i have a masters and i do think im worth what were getting paid but i dont think its fair this other guy makes just as much#and its like????? that wouldn't improve ur conditions jeff that would just make tims life worse#this isnt a job u need a masters for esp not a masters in fucking dance. tim does his job just as well as u do!#like its just so petty and gross and hes a good guy otherwise but. ugh.#anyway i feel like im drowning every time i try to work on it so! yeah we're never going to get a union#bc 'collective' seems to mean just one chronically ill full time employee ig
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Me rewatching True Detective, fully knowing of the fact that I'm incapable of being normal abt anything, and finding myself getting increasingly more insane about it as the days go on: ah look it's consequences of my actions
#this is why theres certain things i feel like i can never rewatch/reread again bcs they will take over my life#generation kill? i keep delayinf watching it even tho i rly want to bcs i know its just gonna take me over again#i didnt think id get obsessive abt true detective#bcs when i watched it the first time i noted that it had a fandom but didnt get into it at all#so im like yeah okay this is safe to rewatch! i like it a lot but its not gonna make insane#guys. i regret to inform you i feel insane.#lol also sry this whole break has been me rediscovering old fandom loves#so i keep having to be like 'WHY DID I GET BACK INTO THIS'#its just a stop gap i think tbh#BUT WHY DID I GET INTO THIS SO SOON BEFORE F1 COMES BACK UGGHHHHHH#also i think another factor is that have no one to talk abt vett/onso meta or AUs with#so my brain is just constantly searching for smth to latch onto#i keep getting sucked into old things and rediscovering my love#and its all very fufilling but ah man it makes me feel so insane ig#love bursting out of its seams and all that#haha just hoping tho main fandom will be a bit more active and communicative once it starts up again#stop my eyes from wandering anf all that#but anwyays yeah. i feel sooooooooo crazy abt TD#every time i watch another ep my brain is like 'man i wanna rewatch from the very start again'#im very loath to finsih things yknow?#theres a difference btwn completely starting smth over when you finish it#and savoring the world youre in before finishing it#yeah you can watch smth an endless amnt of times. but theres smth abt existing in that space btwn the start and the end#but aaaaghhh every aspect i just am so desperately into it#catie.rambling.txt
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mal in the grishaverse is to alina what jacob in twilight has been to bella. in this essay i'll...
#okay so in twilight jacob is like bella it's unnatural that edward is alive he should have been dead long ago. and if he was and he didn't#meddle with natura and the timeline i would be the one for you in our timeline. but he's here because he's extra special and that makes me#obsolete. because like alina and mal matched until they were both common and not special but now alina is a summoner and#she's the specialest of special girls and mal is throwing a tempter tantrum over that right#and they are like. they should be best friends and nothing more.#anyway that was point A#I'm over not one not two but three glasses of wine but even like this I know that one point justification belongs in my friends DMs not#an essay so let me present point B#so he's like the firebird right (he just circled her hand where the last amplifier would go and they felt weird#incredible foreshadowing btw) so like he belongs to her but only part of her belongs to him and that's very jacob vibes with all the#renesmee business. and also mal is just. so desperate to define himself by what he is to alina like he expects the answer to his own#identity crisis that is the consequence of his own actions (deserting literally no one asked that of him) from her#like the only way he thinks about defining himself is in relation to her . and like yeah ig they are teenagers and 'in love' or whatever#(they have zero chemistry while the darkling and nikolai are constantly standing next to alina and it works but ig I digress)#so i'm just constantly being told and they are in love and want a simple life (and that's the very thing that made me side with Gale instead#of Peeta back when so I'm probably primed to not want that for characters) but idk I just don't see it that they'd make such a good pair#anyway I guess this is a Mal hate post and I'm dragging the moder YA lit's each and every love interest into this 'analysis'#blueberry wine is excellent by the way would recommend#miaing
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Having watched every pov of limited life I gotta say. I don't even care if jimmy dies first this time I think they might all permadie within 15 minutes of each other
#captain's chatter#limited life smp#I'm so mentally ill about this series ASDLFJBASDF#never have I watched every pov before. help#I think not having the bdubs pov (my usual quartet is etho/cleo/tango/bdubs) made me snap completely#will I keep this up? idk. maybe. it'll be at least 7-8 povs tho#this is like a nothing post I just wanted to yell into the void#also ig I'll take this opportunity to say if anyone's curious I do think I'll be doing weekly writings if I can spin it !!#I've got some Thoughts >:]]]#so yeah anyone that followed me for writing during dl you'll get more words <3#may or may not be with the same folks tho
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my flatmate asking me the day before "do u want to hang out w me and [old friend] everyone else cancelled so I can invite u now" is not the heartfelt offer she thinks it is :^/
#what am i sloppy seconds. fuck off man#i like them both but im not in the place to socialise rn + also it just feels kinda mean. theyve had these plans for weeks#and i wasnt invited bc some of their other friends (who ive never met) didnt want me there which is fair enough ig#even tho their friends complained abt someone else bringing her bf but they both blocked the veto for that. pretty sure ik them-#better than some guy but whatever. i dont rly like their friends anyway bc they only ever have bad things to say abt them#like damn they sound like they have the emotional range of toddlers plus theyre all into shit like genshin. so i wasnt fazed abt it#hope they have a nice time etc but wow sure now theyve cancelled the day before u can invite me as a replacement. yeah thatll do wonders#for the social and self esteem issues i have around being single use and disposable and always on the outside etc yippee#the thing is if i go theyll just talk to each other anyway and leave me to be the fly on the wall like they always do. they dont want#me there they just want an audience i literally have nothing else to contribute i dont think they even like me that much so!#anyway complaint over. genuinely i hope they have a nice time im just annoyed at being treated like that + probably projecting a bit too#its not like i could go if i wanted to anyway bc i have shit to sort out + mail to wait for. maybe next time invite me from the start huh#we had another old friend visit last weekend but those plans were really made without me too and i was just added bc i Live Here so its#kind of unavoidable. but oh well whatever it was nice to see them either way#im too depressed rn to fix my social life or even rely on existing coping strategies in social situations so im having to temporarily#cut it back bc i get too trigger sensitive + dont want to hurt myself or others bc of an arbitrary emotional overreaction#its usually one of the first things to go when im Going Thru It not in a self isolating way but more bc its one of the hardest things#for me to maintain + im pretty self sufficient so its not absolutely crucial. like of course i love my friends but socialising is a#want not a need yknow. eating/sleeping/exercising/hygiene are all more fundamental parts of the engine so i gotta prioritise them#and it sucks but ill survive. anyway sorry for venting on everyones dash so early in the morning i woke up grumpy 👎#i need to get breakfast and then go out. ughhhhhhh okay.#.vent
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all worries aside… this is the funniest thing i read today
> #& i was??? until i realised they'd been calling me by my deadname #which i simply do not respond to because i forget it legally means me #so yeah no wonder i was 😐😐 at them
me, alone on my trolley in a dark room with extra blankets piled on top of me to try and stabilise my temp, looking like that cat who fell asleep under the weighted blanket:
🤔🤔 who is this person they all keep coming in here to check on?
#all i remember is waking up and then pretending to be alseep for another hour#because they wanted to make me drink water#also i’d been having a bad body temp day & it was super warm under all my extra blankets 😌😌#& then it took another 40 minutes for me to drink one (1) tiny cup if water because i kept falling asleep and spilling it 🫠🫠#but yeah they were using my legal name which i haven’t reliably responded to ever in my life (because autism & because 🤨)#so naturally i was just going “peace and love it’s warm blanket time again” 😴😴#people who know me will be unsurprised i sleep three hours a night on average i fully needed to be knocked out with warm blankets#or powerful drugs ig#anon#tw drug mention
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the best part about super mario rpg on the switch is that i can play it in bed or on long car trips
geno and i will never be apart again
#DCB Comments#what did you think that last post abt it was the last i would say abt it. haha you're a silly goose :)#i can play fe7 in the meantime while i wait but it's gonna be the longest wait in my life lbr#I KNOW I KNOW I'M A FIRE EMBLEM BLOG BUT. LIKE. IT'S SUPER MARIO RPG I HAVE RIGHTS#I am also curious how long they took to make this bc for example the ToS port was trash lol#but this game looks like they actually took their time with it and cared abt it#ig they only rly do genuinely amazing work on the games they expect to sell well and shrug their shoulders at other stuff#kinda sad for the ports of other games but this remaster looks like actually gave a shit abt the final product#AND YEAH I'M STILL AN FE BLOG BUT UH... EXPECT A LOT OF SMRPG POSTING AT THE END OF THE YEAR#i don't think you understand my buddies that was my fave game as a wee little t'ing#and in recent years i have listened to the soundtrack regularly. i do not mean once in a while#i mean REGULARLY. i have spent years BEGGING for them to at least put on the online services#not to say i can't just play it WHENEVER THE FUCK I WANT BC I LITERALLY OWN IT AND AN SNES LOL#but it's VERY SPECIAL to have it on the switch as well. also now the modern gaming world is going to be#relentlessly subjected to geno content and crazed fans like me and i think that's just wonderful :)))#anyway SO YEAH EXPECT A LOT OF SMRPG POSTS WHEN THE PROMISED HOUR ARRIVES#I don't currently plan to go full multi fandom but I've considered sprinkling my other interests#with FE still being the main focus of this blog bc at this point it's still my main thing with an active fandom#ALSO DID YOU KNOW in fact no you didn't bc i didn't ever talk abt on this blog but#i was considering cosplaying geno to the very last con i went to in 2019 (haven't attended one since)#if it turns out i end up going to my usual con next year maybe i'll try again! i have mikey planned but i can add another outfit!!!#did u also know that growing up i had zero idea that geno was so popular like i didn't know until the internet was cool and all#and then i found out that everyone else loved him too and i was very surprised to see how popular he was#but also was like yes rightfully so
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I cannot be the only one who thought of life series yttd au, right? I’ve never even played or watched someone else play yttd, I just know about it from my sister. But from what I do know, it would fit with the life series SO WELL. I’m definitely drawing Jimmy as Sou before anyone loses Limited Life I can’t waste this chance
#trafficblr#is this yttd spoilers#I don’t really know how information is presented in that game I just know things#just don’t read the tags for potential yttd spoilers ig also life series spoilers#anyways like. they’re both death games. they’ve both been simulated multiple times.#one far more than the other ofc but still. we have someone with a 100% last place rate in life series#and then someone with a 0% win rate in yttd#sarah was the one with the highest win rate right? idk yttd lore. but if so I vote her as Scott.#IM A SCOTT IS THE BEST LIFE PLAYER TRUTHER. he won TWICE basically. if you count double life as two winners.#and in limited life although we don’t know how it ends HE HAS THE MOST TIME SO FAR!#so yeah. I really want a martyn but I don’t know enough yttd lore. someone else feel free to run with this ig
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I should make a list of wc super editions that i straight up don’t consider canon. like “no this did not happen to those characters growing up, stop lying”. Mostly Yellowfang’s Secret. Everything about Yellowfang’s Secret. I think we should all collectively look at Yellowfang’s Secret and go “None of that happened, not the family tree stuff, none of it.” and walk away
#tbh everyone being cruel to bluestar in her se while unpleasant to read about. it at least serves as a good explanation#for her behavior in the second half of tpb#i mean its not really Needed all things considered and youre not meant to read it as everyone failing her#but rather ‘’bluestar needs to get a grip and learn that work comes before your mental health’’#but yknow i can at least get it yknow?#but yellowfang? everything about her se makes me feel bad for no reason. everyone is shitty to her from day 1 and they end it being shitty#and we have no real reason to believe her life sucked before the brokenstar stuff#we didnt need raggedstar to bully yellowfang from birth and then coerce her into a relationship#we didnt need a pointless power where she can feel everyones pain and its never acknowledged again#and only serves as a way for sagewhisker to bully yellowfang into the position#we didnt need yellowfangs own family to turn on her#i cant remember if this was said in tpb also but we didnt need to watch her daughters die at birth#we didnt need to retcon her actually having friends in shadowclan so that actually dawncloud and the others never liked her#its SUCH a miserable read and on top of that it only offers shitty retcons that actually make tpb worse#like the power thing again but also yellowfang not being an old lady. why isnt she an old lady wtf. why do you hate old people#oh raggedstar was actually abusive to yellowfang? oh all the moments we worship him in tpb sure are great and hold up well!#yellowfang was forced to be a medic wowww so groundbreaking this doesnt cheapen her wanting to be tc’s medic#actually the elders were not old they were super young and stuff for some reason bc old people cant be important to saving a clan ig#and like yeah its not out of the realm of possibility but brightflower being yellowfangs mom is just a bizarre choice to me#idk man yellowfangs secret is an extra level of miserable to me and i think we should all agree its not actually canon#its a cynical and miserable book made to slap a fan favorite character on the cover and vaguely gesture to it with ‘’you like that one.’’
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