#isnt that a nice way to end this journey for now? i think so. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

homicidal-lingonberry · 7 days

Text

a thought about kabru and mithrun and their time in the dungeon. (I love kabumisu but this is more about their canon relationship)

I have seen several people say that they dont think that kabru really cared about or liked mithrun. that he was just doing things cause he had to, etc. but I feel like this ignores something pretty cool about kabru. Kabru always has an inner monologue going on, one that we get to see.

several times when we see kabru doing nice things we can see that his inner monologue doesnt actually match. we see him kindly doing things that actively distress him several times. we as an audience are made very aware when kabru is doing something he doesnt really like.

so what kind of an inner monologue does kabru have when he performs caring tasks for mithrun? does he think about the advantages of having mithrun or the canaries on his side? does he think bitterly of mithrun? does he think about how much he hates this? the worst he thinks is "to think I'd get roped into this for the sake of that lot." and "this isnt seeing to his needs, this is nursing!" pretty early on in their journey together. this is while he is still digesting the full picture of mithruns condition and all the things hes going to need to do, the full weight of the situation now apparent.

after this, all we see is compassion. him thinking he would like to make mithrun something nice to eat, even if it wouldnt matter to him. him empathizing and reflecting on how not having desires would be really rough. him coming to understand where some of mithruns quirks, like his sense of direction, come from.

by the end, he has trusted mithrun enough to tell him about laios, and mithrun has given him all the information he has been searching for for YEARS.

and this is just the dungeon. kabru continues to involve himself with mithrun when its not his problem anymore. when really, he should be doing anything but. and after everything is done, if he truly did not care about mithrun, he has NO reason to do anything he does in chapter 94.

they are FRIENDS okay??? Kabru cares about him. it isnt just obligation. ty.

as far as mithrun goes, he gives kabru information, he asks him what he wants to do with that little smile (doesnt wait for his squad), slaps him out of his panic attack, and then kabru is the person he eventually confides his true desire to.

theyre FRIENDS and Im tired of people acting like they dont even like each other just bc they dont like the ship. you dont have to ship it, but if you think these 2 didnt drastically change each others lives in a positive way and that they dont care about each other...you maybe need to read again.

and also I think a lot of these takes veer on dehumanizing mithrun. like how could kabru even like him or see him as a friend when hes like that. like do yall forget mithrun was busy keeping kabrus ass from getting killed. or the way he perceptively sees straight through kabrus bs every single time until kabru finally tells the truth? I know kabrus confession to laios is a lot more emotionally intense, but laios isnt the only character that forces kabru to be honest.

#kabru #mithrun #kabumisu #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers

277 notes · View notes

humanaaa · 7 months

Text

I AM GONNA TALK ABOUT MY BRAZILIANS ISEKAI AU

All the brazilians are murdered, and they are isekai'd!

Cellbit: follows the "you get isekai'd and go to a fantasy world as yourself trope"! He wakes up in the fae kingdom, some chaotic faes put him in jail as a prank, and he is saved by the "chef" of the royal castle, Roier. Roier definitely isnt the fae price pretending to be the chef. Roier really wants to run away from the kingdom, especially as the whole kingdom is under lock down! No faes can get in and no faes can get out! It sucks.Roier also wishes he could see his son again, as he thinks Jaiden found him after Bobby was kidnapped.

When they do run away they make a living of travelling the whole world, selling food and searching for Bobby and Jaiden, it's nice.

Bagi: following the "reborn as a random npc that was supposed to die" trope, she wakes up drowning in a river and discovers she is a noblewoman from the demon kingdom. She pretends her almost death made her lose her memories, and for that she is forced to work in the demon king castle, who says they will help her to get her memories back (lying). She ends up meeting Iron Mouse, who tell her she is the actual Queen of the Demons, but her crown was stolen! Bagi and Mouse start ploting so Mouse can become queen again.

Later, they get help from Tina, a woman who also works in the castle, making tea, but she really wants to be a fashion designer! But the clothes the workers use wear so fucking ugly and she will kill the Demon King with her own hands for forcing her to wear that.

Pac: vaguely following the "Villain Are Destined to Die" plot idea. He is reborn as the villain of the story, wakes up in the pirate kingdom and is saved by a janitor called Fit. When he wakes up, he can't talk: a bunch of options appear on his vision, each saying a different thing for him to do/talk and he must select one of them so he can do something. Later, he discovers he can disable it, and that he and Mike are linked now, and they both banter while Mike tries to find him.

He also sees a heart above everyone's head, showing a percentage, he believes it's how much they like him, this surely wont bring any problems!

Mike: following the "reborn as an animal trope"! He wakes up as a magma cube (and also meets Slime here, they are brothers: were made by the same lab), and can hear Pac's thoughts, they discover they can talk to each other with their minds, and Mike goes through a journey so he can find him. He accidentally meets the Godness of Creation and becames a half human - half magma cube!

Forever: follows the "reborn the Hero of the story" trope! He wakes up and is forced to go to the Island Where Dragons Live, because, apparently, "a dragon is the one bringing all the problems of this world, and the hero must slay it". But. Forever doesnt want to kill a dragon what the fuck.

While trying to find a way out of the island, he finds an dragon egg, who hatches while he was holding it, he names the dragon baby Richarlyson, and he is a father now! But the dragons know he is the hero who is supposed to kill them, now he needs to figure out how dragons work so he can raise his child, find a way out and try to not get killed, fun!

Felps: Following the "Preferential Treatment for The Possessed Person" plot line, he wakes up, he can talk to the god who created this world and the voices who are watching it (you guys :D), he has whole skill thing he can upgrade with money! He can read the story! He can get very op items! But he is mostly making a square, and having fun, the world is supposed to end soon he knows that but, where is the fun in being overpowered :( He also acidentally creates a religion out of himself, oops!

Bonus:

Jaiden:

Following the "reborn as a bird plotline"! If i had a nickel for everytime i read a reincarnation story where the mc is reborn as a bird i would've 4 nickels, what isnt a lot but its curious it happened 4 times. Anyways, she first woke up in the fae kingdom, she and Roier adopt a dragon kid! They name him Bobby, until he was kidnapped one day, she went after him, and the lockdown happened so Roier couldnt leave. She is working with the federation, who says they will help to her to find Bobby!

The last time Roier heard of Jaiden was when he got a letter from her saying he didnt need to search for them because she found Bobby. But she never wrote this letter. Weird! right?

#qsmp #qsmp brazilian isekai au #<== using this tag for i WILL WRITE A MULTI CHAPTER FIC OF THIS

46 notes · View notes

prentissvest · 1 year

Text

last minuets of quiet- Emily Prentiss x female/ reader

words- 1.1k

warnings- homophobia, death, case stuff, not great writing,I think that's it

you wake up to the feeling of your girlfriends warm hands moving up and down your arm in a sleepy state. Hotch has been giving everyone a lot more paperwork then usual recently and the hours you get at home have been minimal so you and Emily had decided to spend as much time together as possible out of work as you and Em have yet to tell the team about the relationship between the two of you.

its not that either of you are embarrassed or ashamed but privacy is not something you have a lot of, especially in your line of work. you have been together for almost two years now, not long after the second date Emily asked you to be her girlfriend and around the seventh date you moved into Emily's apartment.

an obnoxious ringing took you both out of your sleepy states, "prentiss." Emily says into the phone. "yes sir, ill be there soon" already knowing what the phone call was about you begin to get dresses when you feel two arms snake around your waist and Emilys head shuffle into the crook of your neck. "I don't want to go, its so nice here with you" Emily groans "me either Em but its our job" you said giggling Emily mumbling something incoherent then places a kiss to your jawline as she begins to get up and get ready herself.

the ride to the bau was short, Emilys apartment isnt far away as it is more convenient because Hotch often calls everyone in at random hours of the night.

Emilys hand shifts between the gearstick and your thigh for the entirety of the journey. you get out of the car around the corner of the bau so that it wasn't obvious that you had come here with Emily, with a team full of profilers your not sure how they had yet to figure out what was going o between the raven haired woman and yourself yet.

the team had gathered in the bullpen with tiered looks on their faces "in sorry to call you all in at such an early hour but we have a case"

the case was on six people whom had died and 1 who had gone missing more then seven hours ago the victims were found with large amounts of stab wounds, enough to class as overkill, and a cross carved into their hands, the team had information on the victims but they were trying to find the one thing that connects them all as the unsub didn't have a preference for gender nor race. "what If the unsub is targeting homosexuals" Reid suggests, Hotch turns to Garcia as she begins to do some digging for info. the tea, sits in silence while waiting for an answer "right on the money Reid, and each of the 6 victims have gone to the same gay bar within the last 4 months" Garcia says while still searching for more information like who they could have spoken to. "thank you Garcia, wheels up in 30" Hotch says nodding towards everyone.

you and Emily give each other the same knowing, pained look, you quickly speed off and get your stuff ready and head to the bathrooms as you know Emily will want to briefly talk to you before you all leave and its the one place where there is slight privacy.

Emily is not one to show emotion around people but with you she is an open book, yes you both have certain things that you prefer to keep to yourself but inevitably you end up telling each other.

you stand in the woman's restroom next to the bland shade of grey that the walls had been painted many years ago. Emily walks in a pained smile on her face as she walks closer to you. you open your welcoming arms and she gladly walks into your warm embrace. "how are we supposed to do it?" she says sniffling. it was obvious to you that she had been crying at this point with the growing wetness of you shirt.

"I don't know Em, but ill be there the whole way" yes you were struggling too but with Emilys past living with her mother the homophobia hit her hard. her mother was and most likely will never be supportive of her daughter and Emily had learned to accept that but she could never accept the sadness and anger that it fuelled.

the two of you slowly headed out to the jet slightly later then everyone else which was surprising as the two of you were usually the first ones there. the team shared a worried look when they saw the redness in Emilys eyes but they had each learned not to push her to talk.

the case moved excruciatingly slowly, it solved fast as the unsub had a clear motive and a raging signature which helped to find him fast yet every second was full of anger and pain.

Emily had decided that you both needed the last few hours before you had to leave to go on the jet to calm down and spend some much needed time together. you decided to order in Emilys favourite restaurant and watch the current series you both had been bingeing whenever you both had the chance to watch it.

as the series continued on you both began to get progressively closer to each other although you both had been together for two years you still made each others hearts race. by the end of the third episode you had your head in the crook of Emilys neck and she was running her hand up and down your arm.

the steady calmness was quickly disturbed by Reid running in shouting "HEY YN DO YOU KNOW WHERE EMILY I-" the both of you jumped apart. "Reid.. " the look of shock was evident of the younger agents face, and if there's one thing that everyone knew about Reid its that he can not keep a secret. "Reid please keep this quiet"

he backed away slowly nodding obnoxiously. "Reid-" before you could continue the rest of your sentence he bolted out of the room.

"well, you ready for our last moments of quiet" Emily said with a smile pulling at the corners of her lips, "yeah, I think its time they knew now anyway" as you both leaned forward a ecstatic Derek ran into the room "I KNEW IT, ROSSI YOU OWE ME $50!!"

#emily prentiss #criminal minds #emily prentiss imagine #emily prentiss x reader #fanfic #emily prentiss fluff #criminal minds fic #wlw

82 notes · View notes

weirdcat1213 · 11 months

Text

Its time for the weekly horrors- I mean Trimax vol 3 >:3

The Thoughts:

chap 1:

-AH EVERYTHING IS FALLING

-bro you are about to get into a fight can you stop thinking about your bf for 5 minutes

-fr tho, vash's words making him hesitate/angry is so dcfgjhbkml

-why everyone wants my babygirl dead :c

-now now, comparing someone with their brother isnt a nice thing to do

-oh so now we're not even making an allegory, he actually called him jeesus

-also "your soul is forced to endure the sorrow by the hundreds, suffering by the thousands, and the rage by the hundreds of thousands" im gonna throw up cuz of how that GOOD and PAINFUL that shit is

-the polar opposite of being a human huh...i mean besides something i said weeks ago about how he's further away from humanity more than he would like that point is interesting cuz most of the time we call him someone who is more human than any other person. he carries more pain than any human could endure and definitely has more patience than anyone will ever have but...hm...i want to come back to this

-ww pls dont make me cry today pls honey

-oh im gonna cry

-"your ideals will join you in the grave" i fucking hate thats the reason why we all try to be better people, thanks to that fucking wet cat of a man i cannot deal actually

-MILLIE :D

chap 2:

-i dont have much to say about battles but let it be on the record that I'm enjoying ww's eyes sm

-oh page 38 is cool as hell

-OH SHIT IS THAT HIS FUCKING SPINE????

chap 3:

-ww stop having pretty eyes youre distracting

-meanwhile :3

-ah geesus the body horror (so good but creepy)

-EYES :D

-so many fucking details. nightow got down even the smallest scribbles, as 98 vash would say

-oh right that....thats still upsetting

-i fucking swear people need to leave my son alone

-also fucking hate that he had to SHOOT A BABY even if it was fake

-I FUCKING HATE THIS ACTUALLY

-i can feel his fucking mind breaking i cant do this

chap 4:

-"i cant do this" yet here i am lmao

-i think if vash held me like hes holding that girl a lot of my problems would be resolved ngl

-characters reciting names always get to me :c

-also HA EAT THE PTSD ASSHOLE

-"why are there so many" brad you may want to sit down for this one

-..................i deadass thought "oh the doctor is here" IVE READ THIS BEFORE AND I FELL FOR IT AGAIN

-vash with his hair down :3

-nah hes not gonna kill you BUT HE FUCKING SHOULD

-oh i will kill so many people (vash is bleeding)

-hm. this reminds me of something in houseki no kuni (i wont spoil but maybe ichikawa had trigun as inspo which would be cool af)

chap 5:

-oh im yeeting myself (ww thinks about the children) -ww gives in his anger and fear when punching those weirdass faces but I'm gonna say this once: that doesn't make him weaker or worst. i haven't seen anyone think that of ww, i just feel that when he compares himself to vash he feels that way and i cant stand it :)

-vash i fucking swear-

-oh god the fingers...the fucking fingers...

-oh you are NOT talking to my vash about pain and agony

-OH WAIT I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD THAT PANEL OH GOD NO I HATE REREADS WTF

-XD my girls

no wait i need to get back to that. i thought that was emilio's dad not fucking vash himself oh my god I'm sick so sick actually wtfffffffffffff

chap 6:

-is this the chapter with the gays eyes cuz I'm not ready for that-

-oh fuck you nightow. fuck you for putting knives in the title page and the title being "families"

-i want to punch so many things but I'm at work. fuck

-also i forgot about this stampede parallel GOD WHEN DOES MY SUFFERING END

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE GAY EYESSSSSSS

-yeah i agree this is literally the moment. like fuck. fuck actually. fuck what else is there to say.

-fuck

-like hes so fucking terrified that he was afraid for him, what his journey is causing ww, but even if he wanted ww to stay away and safe he knows ww would say fuck off, but also vash would not be able to take it

-THERES SO MUCH FEAR AND LOVE IN THOSE EYES IM GONNA BITE MY HAND

-OH I CANT ACTUALLY WHY DOES THIS HURT SO MUCH WTF

-im so fucking upset cuz the last 3 chapters were basically fights. they were full of energy and shit but now that is over and they are in a rare moment of peace, and everything fucking hits.

-im gonna go outside and step into oncoming traffic

-YES LUIDA MY QUEEN SHUT HIM UP

-WOLFWOOD :D pls never leave me

-i....*implodes*

-i am nothing. i just remembered that.

-OH CMONNNNNN

chap 7

-maybe i dont want to read trimax anymore. maybe a little person like me isn't strong enough for a 2nd round of the pain. with that in mind, lets keep reading :D

-WHERES THE NIGHTOW PUNCHING BAG WHEN YOU NEED IT

-wolfwood what he is it doesnt matter i swear pls cant you just love him?

-:c

-i dont like vash being emotionally attached to stuff cuz that means i have to yell HES LIKE ME FR FR

-oh that....that beautiful panel...amazing

-i think my mind blocked this out because of the previous sad things that happened, so now my brain is allowing me to process more sad things :3

-"i still have so much i must do" and i see i still have many tears to cry out huh?

-ofc wolfwood would ask about redemption

-cant my man show an important part of his past and show vulnerability in front of his friends in peace? damn

-im gonna start bitting my glasses

-GAY MOMENT PART 2 INCOMING

-luida pls i want to stop crying

-oh wolfwood honey....you just fell so hard for my man didnt ya

-i just realized the chapter is called "life as a" and I THINK the idea is to complete it with "life as a 'vash the stampede'" cuz he's not human

OK GREAT NOW I CAN RUN TO THE WASHROOM AND FUCKING CRY :D

#trigun #trimax #trigun maximum #trigunbookclub #nightow sir #i will meet you and i will end you #and then buy you coffee

22 notes · View notes

who-is-shades · 2 months

Text

raz dnd 33

theres a knock at the door. being summoned by the archfey. parsley dont make it difficult shes gonna kill us. this can only go well. shes still only speaking sylvain fucker. she'll repair his wings in exchange to keeping him here, fucker. she'll also void teya's contract wtf.

raz you know the dm isnt supposed to win yeah? i hate lawyers.

parsley plays dumb about teya xD hes contractionally to leave. he will die. 'you can be easily resurrected.' he says shes not dear to him. hate her ass! stop looking at teya! you can keep the mom pretend teya isnt here. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE JAR IS BREAKING?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU NEED 3 MORE KIDS?! SUNNIE?!?!?! WEVE BEEN HERE A WEEK?!

parsley says its debatable if shes teya. technically teya is now a clone so. like. she accepts this but uhhh. is the plan to. kill sunnie? senna can only rez him within a minute with physical touch. shes taunting teya fucker. parsley fills the rest of us in on this shit. NO YOU CANT KEEP SUNNIE YOU FUCKER.

teya, dont hidden step. their gonna hurt sunnie if she keeps being a little shit. ngl this isnt fun. um yeah. headspace having bad time.

teya puts on an act to beg queen bitch to let her hug sunnie goodbye. epic fail. parsley jumps in and says "shes a mundane what could it hurt." teya puts on the sniffles and the queen allows it while insulting parsley.

teya uses feign death on him and he collapses on her. the guards yank her away and he just drops to the ground. queen has an eye twitch haha. since hes of no use she just. blows teyas mom away and says the contract was a waste xD.

shit she wants the body why. she gives up the body nice. zen really believes sunnie is dead :( teya didnt tell us anything xD wheatley tells parsley we should just go were not getting help here. parsley asks what she even wants from having him back here. making up for the failed marriage for one. and keep him here, like whatever lady.

parsley thinks theres a way they can both get what they want. 'im listening~' fix his wings and let him kill zorbolt, he will come back and make up for what he did. NOT staying, but they can arrange that details. she says 'until I consider you made up for what you did.' 'depends on what you would have me do.' theyll work the details later. also if he doesnt come back his wings will fail.

end of journey is killing zorbolt and getting what is owed to parsley. shes adding us into this deal wtf? she wants us to deal with the robots in the woods? he explains that dealing with zorbolt will stop the bots so it should be good. she wants it done now tho like lady we cant get in the woods. metal animals? something covered in eyes?

also after parsleys deal is done he can come and go as he pleases as long as he doesnt get in the way. deal taken! magical contract! rosemary fixes his wings. but we also still think sunnie is dead and have to go into the woods. parsley quickly puts in a good word for fiddlefink xD basil screams for parsley to visit xD his dad calls him impressive!

senna calls sadly to teya. a guard walks up and says he will lead us to the problem. senna says prayers for sunnie as they follow the guard. parsley tells us about what we gotta fight. senna guesses it might be a beholder. follow the path and itll get close to the creatures.

teya wakes up sunnie! rejoice! senna calls teya a genius xD time to yell at sunnie for coming to the feywilds! senna casts presti on him hes so dirty. he got robbed by goblins wtf xD parsley turns into teya for a joke and teya gets her name back nice!

#senna #dnd #dnd adventures

6 notes · View notes

mayasdeluca · 2 months

Note

I really feel like biology isnt a big deal to maya or carina or at least I don't think it should be. Their characters both come from very abusive families so blood shouldnt mean anything to them. That's why i hated maya's speech in 5x11 abt known vs anonymous donors i found that SO insensitive but that's all just down to poor writing. I dont see maya ever caring abt that with a dad like hers. I understand her wanting the element of control but everything was poorly written/phrased in that sl. But especially now after therapy and everything I think she would fully let go of the control she wanted I think at the end of the day maya just wants to make carina happy which is really sweet

Totally agree, I don't count anything that happened in 5B as true or real because it was a mess. The way they have done things this time around has been so much better and I hope we get some parallels to 5x07 but in the opposite way in either episode 7 of this season or in any of these next 5 episodes because now that Maya has suggested her eggs and they are starting this process it's going to be nice to see them do this journey together and not have to worry about sperm being the main topic this time.

#asks #anon

3 notes · View notes

kasaneteto · 6 months

Text

been thinking about this guy a lot. dont read under the cut if you dont want persona 4 spoilers or dont want to hear me talk about how i used to wish this guy would do nasty things to me because of my trauma

first of all this is not a character analysis this is my very personal relationship with the character. second of all this is normally the kind of thing i would put on my private instagram but my roommate is currently playing p4 & i dont want him to get spoiled. so sorry that youre subjected to this i guess. anyways.

recently something ive realized about myself is that i am a HOPELESS romantic. i require something to pour my affections into. & if that isnt a person WELL its gonna be a fictional character. for me the adachi blorboism started right after i ended my first real “relationship”. i say “relationship” because it was less of that and more of me being groomed by a guy 5 years my senior. unfortunately, this guy was what got me into persona. he asked me to watch the p4 anime with him and that was it for me lmfao.

so wtf does that have to do with adachi. well i didnt think it had ANYTHING to do with him until recently. being in therapy has allowed me to really dissect the way my environment has manifested in my behaviors and atp im confident in saying that getting groomed is pretty much the reason i love adachi so much. groomer man was the literal definition of a nice guy, like i made a nice guys finish last joke to him once & his actual response was “but it’s true though…” and he was SO bummed when adachi was revealed to be the mastermind. he was all “ooouuhhhh it sucks because he was such a good character before that”

so i got out of that relationship, had clarity over the fact that he had been manipulating me the entire time, got my hands on my own copy of p4 (i had still only seen the anime & played arena atp) and when i got to adachi’s monologue i was like. THIS GUY IS AWESOME!!!! HOW IS HE A WORSE CHARACTER FOR THIS!!!! im realizing now that travis (groomer) probably felt very attacked by adachi’s motives. & not only that but that i felt very comforted by how blatantly evil he is. that sounds really weird so let me explain.

i saw (& honestly still see) adachi as someone who’s a product of his environment. he felt trapped & suffocated by inaba, felt mistreated by his superiors at work, and with being given access the tv world found something that he felt he could control, which was fun for him in a world of boredom, of which he felt like the victim. i related a lot to that feeling of being trapped somewhere you can’t escape from (both because of my relationship & at the time living with my parents) and really appreciated his fucked outlook on life. not like. the misogyny part. just the whole “life only favors the lucky ones” sentiment. i also saw him as a much more honest & self-aware version of travis. he knew he was doing bad things to people who didn’t deserve it, and his justifications were just “i was bored”. unlike my ex who probably still sees himself as a victim

idk! i guess the takeaway here is that there’s still so much more to me than i know. im learning new things about myself every day. im very glad to finally be on this journey of self-discovery. ive always been a really introspective person but i dont think i ever asked myself WHY? why am i like this. like actually. so im doing that now. & the answers are actually pretty fucked up! ive always played down my trauma because its what my parents and a lot of my peers did. my “best friend” as a kid (she was honestly just a bully) didn’t believe me when i told her that my parents fought. like it was so much worse than i allowed myself to believe. i played down getting groomed because I wasn’t like r*ped or anything (he touched me with my permission but no insertion happened idk if that counts as r*pe) but whenever i tell people that my parents were not only okay with it but allowed him to come visit me from Canada and STAY AT MY HOUSE….they are always shocked. because thats so fucked up! like… what!

alright ive really gone off the rails with this but in conclusion: adachi is a piece of shit and thats why i love him. he’s my disgusting babygirl. my awful little mongrel anime husbando. & you dont get him like i do

#txt #thanks for reading this if you do #its long af 🫶#my husband

2 notes · View notes

thelettersfromneptune · 3 months

Text

a little bit older (a solar return)

i turned 24 on the fifteenth. it is the first time i have my birthday forgotten - not by very few close friends and family - but by people ive encountered in university, acquaintences. i went into disappearance out of not wanting people to post about me or giving their happy birthdays on a post. not really trying to put anyone to a test too. really just trying to enjoy my personal day to myself.

a person i know who is close to my sister, made me realize that we can see birthdays from two perspectives. the perspective of ending a year or starting another year. either way, it is just another rotation around the sun. my pondering on turning 24 mostly overwhelms me a little bit, because the experiences in the past year has helped me gain an experience of forcing myself to see things from the two sides.

i mostly try to see it as a beginning of another year, mainly because i was desperate to put an end to 23. i was so desperate to start off anew, to start from a new line and not just making laps on the same lane. i remembered telling myself that i have done see enough endings on the 23rd year. there'll be more to come i know, but it seems as if i am putting tally to what ive experienced, therefore proving to the universe that this is enough. i know its not very nice of me to try and control so much of what is supposed to happen. but, i was desperate.

i am a little older now, which means there must be something that i have learnt during the course of my life. one of the biggest lesson definitely came from heartbreak. learning about love unsettles me too. the more i learn about it, the more i realize that whatever i had going up my sleeve back then (and even now) was probably not love but a long to posses. an attempt at yearning. i spend the past few months and maybe year, trying to redefine love. i remembered that night in march, last year, when i note down stories and philosophical thoughts of love - of laila and majnun, of jalaladin rumi, of erich fromm, of bell hooks. that night and perhaps the following weeks of learning that maybe what i call love isnt at all love - was the very start of my realization and journey. and maybe indeed the distance made me more patient, perhaps clear minded, philosophical. another lesson is, maybe i am just like my mother. and sometimes, i am my just my father's daughter.

a very eager and regretful part in me wished that i knew this sooner, that i was more virtuous, more steadfast. but i am a water person and (not to declare that i am a determinist) i swam through waters without any doubt. i go about - and i went deep. i didn't know of darkness because as long as my heart still beats, i am still one with whatever i will come to face. i am grateful for the experience, yes, but i can't lie that i am also a little bit sorrowed by separation. that to this day, sometime when i sit in the mid of the strange smell of public transporation and close my eyes to retain from it, i still think of a certain smile, a certain eyes, a certain voice. a certain question, like what was the actual reason you cried on that hazy night in jakarta?

they said first love never dies and maybe there is truth to that, because your dialect still follows me in the lull of thursday afternoon. that part in me has wished i had abstained from whatever impulses i had back then, to let the soul of slow-burning michelangelo who was commissioned to paint the roof of versailles, to possess me. i wish i had gone slower.

i do not regret giving love nor do not regret myself for allowing it to consume me. but there is just that side effect, the greed of wishing it all goes according to my plan.

saturn, it has been a year. i still stand by what i believe, that separation is an illusion. but i do find myself asking if i'll ever be better, if all this contemplation reaps rewards, if the lessons i am acquired and put through, will grow a decent fruit.

(or perhaps it's not the fruit that is the reward of aging, but the strong roots)

i have let the days pass and i have let whatever heavy burden i carried from loving so hard, sit on a nice, sturdy bench in a park where him and i used to walk a lot. there wasn't a lot of it. as these days if i could recall, i only recall good, god-awful-hilarious things that one day i maybe will have the balls to tell someone. maybe in the universe of spirits i will walk to the nearest administration office to have our names engraved on a plate and put it on the bench. never a tombstone, always a rememberance bench.

dearest saturn, it has been only a year. and yes, this whole letter is tainted with nostalgia but day by day, night by night, i feel my heart revolting to something bigger than i am. like my dreams, aspirations. i went back to my old journals and read it on the floor with such regard and affection for my old self. i cannot hate myself too much now even though there are things i wish i had done better. but each day, i can feel my heart opening up a little bit more and more. to everything there is, to beauty unseen and seen. and maybe there is a reason why people are like flowers and like trees, because people's hearts open and close and it falls and get picked upon but one thing for sure is: it'll be what it is supposed to be in spring. i am just people and maybe, spring is closer to me than i think it is.

with love,

neptune

0 notes

sowthetide · 3 months

Note

heyyyyyy *saunters saucily into your ask box* congratulations! you have written a character so appealing that i cant stop thinking about her! and considering shes an alternate version of an already fictional character, i literally have no one else to bother about the brainworms she gives me. so, youre stuck with me. (side note if you do get sick of my endless asks just say the word and i will limit myself to like. two per chapter. probably. i can be normal i promise) ANYWAY i was listening to incredible amazing bigbrained theon playlist this morning and foreigners god by hozier came upand. the way i see it, in asoiaf canon theons one of the characters with the most interesting relationship with religion. he has the conflicting background, and doesnt really seem to connect with either. which isnt bad, not every character needs tk be spiritual, yet he is also some sort of mesiah figure??? like he has visions and talks to the weirwoods and has SO MUCH religious imagery like im not gonna get into it all but dude literally got crucified?? at a stake??? shit idk man. i like it. i like the part where he swears by the seven WHILE AT THE ISLANDS BEFORE HIS DEATH BAPTISM CEREMONY bbg theyre not pagans. but but but back to quenn- i feel like this is more emphasized in her story? maybe thats just me being delusional but (she lights insence in the sept after cat leaves hahahha im normal about this i swear) shes been abandoned by ALL the gods but still prays??? and for what??? stability???? hope?????? shes can seem like such a pessimist at time, a down to earth realist at best, but SHE STILL PRAYS. to what god???? im not very eloquent with words but you should listen to foreigners god the end byeeerer

-TeaInABowl

Why, hello again ;-) You're so nice to me 🥺 I really appreciate it cause I've been dealing with some Family Issues lately ❤️

Also, you do not have to tell ME about the pain of Quen brainworms!!! Thank god I have goddcoward, Ashen_Onion, and, of course, Y'ALL to scream with about Quen with, because otherwise I'd have probably lost my mind by now. Never worry about being normal because I've spent the last year being increasingly Unnormal about Quen, with extensive daydreaming about all of the Saw traps I have/will put her in.

You've reminded me to update my Quen playlist (the link is around here... somewhere...), but I also reallyyyy need to finish my Theon playlist too... eventually...

But back on topic! Yes, Theon's relationship with religion is such an interesting part of his character, and it's something that really drew me to him while reading (as someone with a complicated/agnostic outlook on religion). He has an unusually strong connection with the North's old gods, which is especially apparent in his ADWD chapters (which are some of GRRM's best-ever chapters, I will die on this hill), and I can't wait to see how that (hopefully) intersects with Bran's journey in TWOW.

I took this aspect of Theon's character and ran with it for Quen, as she has a lot of exposure to all three of the main religions in Westeros: the Drowned God during her childhood on the Iron Islands, and the old gods + the Seven during her time with the Starks. Quen has a closer relationship with the Seven in particular, due to her closer relationship with Catelyn/Sansa/Arya/Septa Mordane (by nature of being female in this 'verse), but she oscillates between all three when the occasion calls for it.

What is she praying for? Does she even believe in any of these gods? Who knows! Quen certainly doesn't. But she'll pray to the gods of the people she loves, so their gods might protect them. Also, as my dad would put it: "there are no atheists in foxholes". This is to say, Quen will cling to whatever gods get her the hell outta this clusterfuck in one piece. And, unfortunately, she finds herself in an inordinate amount of clusterfucks. She's clusterfucks Georg, really.

"Foreigner's God" is Thee Theon song fr. We all listened to it and collectively went THEON 🫵 If anyone has any other Theon song recs, I am always open to suggestions... 👀

#ask #another ask??? you're spoiling me ;-)))))#it was also such a relief after some veryyyy unfun Family Stuff :'-)#my parents rock but my brother? call me asha the way i very much Don't Like That Asshole #A LITTLE BROTHER MAY LIVE TO BE A HUNDRED BUT HE WILL ALWAYS BE A LITTLE BROTHER!!!!!#gartin rartin rartin martin was a prophet for that line #anyway. onto chapter 40!

1 note · View note

zak-shit · 4 months

Text

this is the turth, the whole turth, nothing but the turth

been home from le trip for like over a week now, it was the best time. I drove the majority of the way home and I loved it, i love a long drive. my music, roads that will always seem foriegn, theres a certain kind of appreciation for roads on a road trip, even if you make the trip a few times a year, theyre so temporary in the big picture, every bit of each mile can be appricated. at least when youre in a good mood and optimistic. which I am sometimes believe it or not!! got wicked sick soon after being home though and spent a good 4 days in bed. actually thinking that was the end. I've been thinking alot of my health as of late. nothing going on, just a new fear developing??

this morning i woke to take Cecilia to school and 2 secs after exiting my neighborhood i hit someones car!!! Its the smallest scratch on the sides of our cars. everyone was super chill praise the lord! but damn what a way to start the day.

I want to quit my vices pretty badly, but then what the hell am I to do?! thats the question... and honestly I dont want to quit, i kinda just want them to work better lmao. I cant feel a nic hit right now, also because my coil is going out and I need a new one. but im on a money saving journey! I dont wanna spend that money!! :/ choices!

It's is wild it being 10 years now, and I'm still in love with my first love. at least a large part of me still is. idk our relationship is nice right now, and has been for a long time now. I like talking to trey like I do, but truthfully, I wish I could be with him more. this isnt the only reason, but a big one and an important one, but i just feel so safe with him still. He's the only one who really knows allll parts of me. the good, the silly, the sexy, the angry, the crazy. he was always so nice to lay with. i want him, and i guess what gets to me about it now, is that I cant just be with him right now, hes pretty far away, and i just dont know how he feels anymore, he could just be protecting himself, but he hasnt expressed how we are end game or wanting to be with me in a while and i just :/ idk! we were both so young yes, but we went in so hard, and the love was always real. we're both so much better now, i was bad for a while, MIA, wishy washy. i could be a bitch too! idk maybe its a daydream but im picky asf and i still want to choose him, that says a bit.

#diary entry #love #lost love

0 notes

ladyimaginarium · 1 year

Note

helloo, i hope its okay for me to send this here… but! i saw you made a post on @multiplicity-positivity and mentioned indigenous people with a low quantum bloodline, and it got me thinking.

my maternal grandfather was a member of the blackfeet (specifically aamsskáápipikani) nation. he was born and grew up there, but moved to florida in the 60s, where he met my grandma. i never met him (he died before i was born), but i heard a lot about him growing up. his name was something like “barking yellow coyote” but everyone called him frankie, and thats how hes referred to by my grandma when we talk about him.

no one in my family is very interested in connecting with our indigenous roots, and i never would have considered myself indigenous since my family is so white passing. my mom turned out pretty light skinned despite being mixed, and all of my siblings and i are very white. but ive always felt so pulled to the blackfeet nation for my whole life. i used to ask about my grandpa all the time, and even though ive never met him i feel so connected to him and ive always felt this drive to immerse myself in his culture and learn more about the blackfoot nation. i feel guilty about it though, since im basically white and i dont want to intrude in a space that isnt for me.

i guess what im wondering is… is it okay to want to connect with the blackfoot nation if i have never been to the actual reservation, and have never even met my only relative who was a full-blooded member? am i considered partially indigenous, and am i allowed to try and explore that aspect of my identity?

idk your post really spoke to me and so i wanted to reach out. im sorry if this is breaking any of your boundaries or something. if im being totally honest i didnt really check out your blog too much before i hit the ask button… you can just delete this if you’re uncomfortable responding. either way thanks for reading, have a great day!

-🍓🌙 (my emoji tag just in case you do post this)

Hi, uh. Sorry, we& just woke up from an unexpected nap and I& guess I'm& fronting now? This shit is weird, it never happened to me& before but here we& are. Anyway, nice to meet you. To answer your question, we're& not bodily Blackfoot or anything like that but I& think it's only natural that you'd wanna discover and reclaim your heritage. Usually there's a reason for it. I'd& say go for it as long as you be respectful about it and do it for the right reasons. Blood quantum is colonizer bullshit. But keep in mind there's no "part" indigenous of anything, you either are or you aren't. That's all I& really gotta say on the topic. We're& glad it touched you and collectively wish you the best if you do end up reconnecting to your heritage, just know it's a long and hard journey and from experience, it isn't always fun because you also have to dig up intergenerational trauma and all that other shit, and you also have to be active and fight for your community, it's definitely not all fun and games, but it's worth it. To anybody else who's disconnected and who reads this: please don't give us& your whole entire life story and ask us& if you're Native enough, don't ask us& questions about your place in the Native community, or whether you're Native or not, or on whether you can do certain things, especially if you haven't even started your reconnection journey. I& realize we're& very vocal on our& indigeneity and the issues our& communities face, we're& collectively flattered you guys come to us& about these things, but that doesn't automatically mean that it's an invitation to come into our& inbox and seek validation, especially if we're& not from your nation. We're& not elders or knowledge keepers. Thanks.

— 🍊 / Clementine Maria Jasmine Cree&, she/her; they/them.

#written in blood.#🍊.txt

0 notes

fraener · 1 year

Text

12/17/22

el leaves for nz tomorrow, but shes starting her journey tonight. ive been slowly befriending the little birds outside my window by leaving pumpkin seeds on the sill. i want to stop at my old job and get some seed for them i think. things were of course a little weird with o last night. the show was great, got to see a dear friend of mine perform for the first time right before that in an absurd and wonderful circumstance of the audience being a surprise 55+ years old group. o was awkward and tender and a little melancholy in a bright way. shady is coming over early wednesday to exchange information from their side about what happened for mine. r was there, he was doing a bad job at hiding that he was looking for me everywhere. hans found it really funny to see him contorting around the crowd to see me, but he didnt look my way when he was onstage. he never looks at me when he plays. when i left r and o made the exact same expression at me when i turned to go. i dont think i like being at the center of so much affection and infatuation. i dont like that it took breaking it off with o for them to realize i really did just want to be with them and only asked that i be taken seriously and be respected in return. people always realize too late that im telling the truth. i still dont believe in getting back together with people at this point in time though. i think theres a chance it could be possible way down the line if they grow and change enough in the ways that need to happen, but there are other shapes of relationship to have with someone that can still hold that affection without encouraging the type of behavior that traditional relationships seem to invoke. i went in the woods with bg before, we sat in the treehouse over the water for a long time and saw a lot of dead salmon. the twisted gelatinous flesh glowed in the low sunlight in between the rocks. im having to take breaks from crocheting my poppy pod sweater here and there because i keep losing the end of the yarn. trying to decide if i like being given romantic affection at all right now. its nice to be loved and appreciated but it feels sharper and clearer and more reverent and true when the physical intimacy isnt involved i think. the chemical component complicates things. finally going to get poetry club off the ground this week i think. i also emailed arbutus about ceramics and needle felting jobs. hoping to connect with a this week, i want to do slow time outside soon too. it would be fun to do a dragon sweater too after this one

0 notes

captainsatspeed · 3 years

Text

captain in s3 has me euphoric

i could probably write a whole essay on the captains growth since season 1 (but i wont cause im lazy so ill write a little bit)

spoilers below obviously

its been incredible seeing him on his journey towards self acceptance, and he is a credit to the idiots' writing abilities. he has become so much warmer towards his fellow ghosts, for example in ep3 when once again he tries to take charge, but accepts that pat knows more than him and becomes an excited and cooperative student and earns a teamwork badge for his helpfulness! its the opposite to s1 ep6 cap who only used the other ghosts as a means to an end.

-when he sees kitty looking upset, and asks her if she's alright. she says yes, but he knows she isnt and he cheers her up.

-how happy he looked after doing his little improvisation scene with kitty.

-helping mike with his tie and work (even if he cant see him)

ben has said that "we see the captains internal musings in season 3." and we do. we as an audience now recognise he has become aware of himself and come to terms with it. he just needs to be very brave. he constantly is marvelling at the "fascinating modern world" or something along those lines in ep3. mat co-wrote that ep and said in a recent bafta interview:

-his pillow talk? that was genuinely so sweet and endearing to me. he clearly uses talking to his pillow to vent, and his soft little kiss ruined me. i have a feeling that pillow has heard some very important and personal things about the captain. yes, he’s not saying things to someone, but he’s saying them, and i think that makes it more real for him.

"It’s nice when you’re writing to know that there are people who pore over the details, and that you can write a level of detail that’s not going to be missed. I think that’s the nice thing about really knowing how much attention our fans pay to the work and the characters and their backstories, and that any little hint of a character’s biography or perhaps an extra secret that you might want to tease, you know that they’re going to pick up on all of those things. So it’s lovely writing knowing that nothing’s gonna get missed.”

and very importantly those two moments in ep5 when he so nearly says it and comes out. they were so special to me. everyone knows the feeling of finally building up the courage to say something, but blowing it. it can be very hard to build up the courage again, but he did. he genuinely looked gutted when the art class walked in, but im so proud of him (a fictional ghost) for being that close.

this show is so silly and hilarious, but the way it is so very human is the reason it's perfect.

tldr; i fucking love the idiots, the captain is a brilliantly written character, ghosts is perfection.

#bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts spoilers #ghosts spoilers #ghosts s3 spoilers #the captain

147 notes · View notes

mitts2002 · 3 years

Text

Aight’ Bet

Hi this is my first time posting on here so I hope whoever is reading this enjoys!! This is a noritoshi kamo x reader where the nori and (Y/N) need a little push from their wonderful Gojo sensei to finally confess~

"Dont you think (Y/N) and noritoshi would make the cutest couple!?" Gojo screamed over the phone to Utahime who sighed in response.

"I can't help but disagree Gojo, Noritoshi doesn't seem ready for a relationship plus is the only reason you rang me really to discuss our students non existent love lives?" Utahime retorted knowing that the couple would in fact be adorable yet refusing to accept that Gojo could actually be right about something.

"No Utahime! I bet if them two were able to spend a few hours together the tension would build up so high that one of them would burst and BAM a couple would be born" the blue eyed male replied, the volume of his voice increasing with each word trying to convince her that they were the highschool sweethearts the jujustu world needed.

“How could you even say that!? I get that its cute whenever they glance at each other and shy away with cute little blushing cheeks but i bet it would take more than a few hours for a whole relationship to-” “OH you bet“ Gojo interrupted an obvious smirk on his face knowing Utahime wouldn’t back down from his advances.

“you know what i meant idiot i wasn’t actually trying to make a bet with you especially after what happened last time” the black haired woman scoffed after hearing a chuckle through the phone.

“Aight’ bet! tomorrow ill bring my second years to kyoto for some training and then lets see if something happens between our precious students“ Gojo proposed excitedly as if he were a child in a sweet shop.

“you know what fine! and im only agreeing cause i know nothings gonna happen tomorrow between them i mean noritoshi is too stiff and (Y/N) always backs out last minute” utahime exclaimed not wanting to prove Gojo right. “GREAT! if i win then you will have to be my slave for 2 whole days and if you win ill be your-” “wait i never agreed to that!” “see ya tomorrow then!” Gojo had quickly rushed his farewells before hanging up relieved he avoided Utahime’s lecture.

"Alright class!" Gojo sensei yelled excitingly as he burst through the doors. This overgrown man child always had something new, it could never be a regular class where his students actually learn then were let out for a break. No Gojo Satorou had to be the most extra male on this earth and for the first time ever it worked in his second year student (Y/N)'s favour.

"What it is now?" Maki groaned with an annoyed expression on her face. No one could blame her though after all the blindfolded man put his beloved students through. "Don't be so sour maki! Be like me a sweet little mochi~ Oh and before I forget I wanted to let you all know that we will meeting with our lovely sister school for some training. Isnt that great!?" Gojo sensei had announced clapping his hands and smiling brightly.

'I wonder if training is all this is' (Y/N) thought to herself realising how sus this situation was before speaking out "wait Gojo sensei weren't we meant to learn a super secret technique today? You said that you were gonna show it us yesterday and that nothing could stop you" (Y/N) questioned as Inumaki gave a little "shake" for support.

"Well my dear (Y/N) something VERY important has come up and we must go to kyoto immediately. You have no right to deny and we will be leaving in 30 minutes so go grab whatever you kids need" Gojo sensei had practically sung before skipping out the door. What an odd man everyone collectively thought before getting up to grab whatever they needed.

30 minutes has passed and in that time panda had gathered his and maki's weapons while you and toge stocked up on cough medicine and basic medical equipment. The journey was short since Gojo had practically teleported you all there and all that was left was to approach the students.

A few figures from the distance were slowly coming into view and (Y/N) could vaguely make out that only utahime, miwa, mai, momo and noritoshi had attended this last minute joint training.

Despite the others reaching and gathering around your small group of second years giving their greetings the only thing your eyes could focus on was noritoshi’s thick black hair as it gently swayed in the breeze. Honestly it was as if the man was in a L'Oréal advert or something.

"(Y/N) stop staring we all know you both have this weird thing going on but we're here to train not flirt dumbass" Maki had whispered into your ear but little did she know that you were in fact here to flirt and not train due to a certain bet between two teachers.

“alright kids listen up! me and the wonderful Utahime sensei have set up this last minute training as its always good to train with new people and techniques. Everyone will be working in pairs“ Gojo announced before Utahime continued.

“The teams we decided on today will be Maki and Miwa, Momo and Imumaki, Panda and Mai then (Y/N) and Noritoshi. Eveyones free to do whatever they want in their sparring matches just don’t severely injure each other, me and Gojo will be watching over the matches and determine the winners“ Utahime informed all the students before they scurried off to in different spaced out areas.

"So Noritoshi how are you? Its been a while since we've last seen eachother" (Y/N) said trying not to let her nervousness show.

"I'm alright just studying and training to be honest. Although I recently started to practice cursive and can even write my own name now" he responded with pride and a small nice.

You laughed causing Noritoshi to cock his head to the side in confusion. "Is there something wrong with cursive?" His deep voice asked with clear offense.

"No no it's just that's so freaking cute and you look so happy about it too" (Y/N) teased with more laughter and ruffled his hair

"Oi don't touch my hair do you know how long it takes to do these wrap bang things?"

"Well how would I know I've never done them nori"

"Well one day I could teach you if you'd like" Noritoshi offered looking to the side trying to hide his red cheeks.

"Aww I'd love that I'm awful at doing hair to be honest so learning some new styles would be great but first we gotta get this dumb sparring match over and done with" (Y/N) moaned as she got into position.

_______________________________

An hour had flew by and the students were taking a break from their matches happily chatting away while the teachers spoke in private about their progress. “come on look at the way they look at eachother OH (Y/N) touched his shoulder SHES FLIRTIN-” “GOJO SHUT THE FUCK UP YOUR SO DAMN LOUD” “sorry but loooook they in love” Gojo cried out with fake tears in his cerulean eyes

“Alright lets just observe look theyre going to the vending machine to get some drinks like FRIENDS DO“ Utahime emphasised on the friends worried she might lose and become this awful mans slave for 2 days.

_______________________________

“Nori im gonna go get a drink from the vending machine do you want one?” “Actually ill just come with you if you dont mind” “OH sure thats fine does anyone else want anything!?” (Y/N) yelled to the whole group receiving a choir of get me this please or get me that and the single tuna mayo.

The walk to the vending machine was quiet but a comfortable silence had fallen upon the pair. It was always like this when you were around Noritoshi Kamo. Peaceful. She didnt feel the need to go the extra mile to entertain him or ensure he wasn’t bored in your presence as your playful banter and sarcastic remarks towards one another was enough for the both of you.

“(Y/N) is it me or have Gojo and Utahime sensei been staring at us more than the others?“ Noritoshi questioned unable to shake off the feeling of being watched. “Um i’m not too sure i havent been really paying attention to anything other than yo-“ Embarrasment washed over (Y/N) as the words flew out of her mouth before she could stop herself.

“Is that so?“ Nori smirked slightly as you swore you could drop dead right here in this moment. “No i just meant that” “Meant what?“ Noritoshi interrupted leaning closer as you fumbled through your words

“OH LOOK the vending machine is right there better get those drinks“ You quickly said and scrambled away before Noritoshi could get any closer.

“SEE Nori was too intimidating and (Y/N) ran off despite clearly wanting him! its never gonna happen today“ Utahime whispered to Gojo benhind the bushes as he shook his head. “Trust me i have faith in my wonderful (Y/N) I AINT RAISED NO BITCH“ He exclaimed in response while Utahime facepalmed.

The two young adults had collected all the drinks they needed and were ready to walk back to the group. ‘come on (Y/N) you’ve liked this man forever now and everyone knows he must like you back ITS NOW OR NEVER HOE’ (Y/N) screamed words of encouragement to herself before grabbing Noritoshi’s sleeve.

“Is everything alright (Y/N)?” “I have something ive been meaning to tell you Nori, I um like you a lot and i’d like to take you out if you dont mind” (Y/N) had practically yelled at the poor boy because of her stupid nerves and adrenaline.

The silence was broken by an angelic laughter coming from none other than Noritoshi Kamo. “Well i would’ve liked to be the one to take you out but i guess sometimes its alright for traditions and stereotypes to be broken by the younger generation” Nori responded as he walked closer to (Y/N) wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into a sweet kiss. The kiss was messy and clearly new to the both but filled with much love and passion that was finally being expressed by the pair.

As their lips eventually pulled away never wanting this to end, heavy breaths filled the air and cheeks flushed but all that was interrupted by a white haired male clapping in the background screaming “YES I WIN” while the other teacher crouched to the ground tears in her eyes.

#kamo noritoshi #noritoshi kamo x reader #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jujustu kaisen #jjk noritoshi

168 notes · View notes

honestlyandrogynousnightmare · 3 years

Text

Arthur in Sins of the father...

Fyi, prepare for grammatical errors because beta reading just isnt my thing..by that i mean im lazy but yknow

I have to say, this is probably one of my favourite episodes ever. Not only is it actually well written, its focused on Arthur and how much he misses his mother and Bradley did an incredible job in this episode.

I like how Arthur centric it is. Most episodes do end up revolving around Merlin (well no shit sherlock the show is called merlin) but having this episode focus on Arthurs struggles is a nice change and gives us a better view into his character as well as gives us a glimpse of what Arthur would be like without his fathers brainwashing.

What this episode highlights more than anything is how much Arthur wants to meet his mother. All his life he has been told to obey his father and not trust sorcerers and then the moment a sorceress mentions that she knew his mother Arthur goes against both of those things just to meet her. It doesnt matter what lengths he has to go to, he still does everything he can for that one conversation and i think that shows just how much he wants that maternal figure in his life, even if its for a few seconds. In all honesty, i would say he’s pretty desperate by this point. His father never mentions his mother or anything about her so so he cant even paint a picture of her in his brain which just makes him want to meet her more. In those moments when hes going after Morgause, we kind of see a different side of him, because for once in his life he has a chance to learn something about his mother. And you just cant blame him for being so desperate at this point. We dont see much of this, but Arthur grew up without that love every other child experiences, not even from his own father. Someone in his position cant spare time for feelings, and that key ideology that his father drilled into his head remained there from childhood onwards. Having this one chance to know something about the person his mother was, isnt something he could let himself miss.

Another thing he is bound to be feeling is guilt. The first instance is being the cause of his mothers death. Before he found out about the magic thing, it wouldve been so easy to jump to the conclusion that his birth caused is mothers death as she died in childbirth (or as he was told). But after he was told that he was born of magic, i think that while part of him blamed his father for not reading the fine print on the contract (i dont know who came up with that joke, it for sure wasnt me), he still blamed himself because the creation of his life is what took his mothers life away. Not only that, but at the end of the episode when Merlin told him that the illusion was fake, its clear enough that he feels guilty for almost killing his damn father, trusting a sorceress in the first place and also disobeying his father.

And back onto the whole thing about Arthur being desperate, he trusted a random woman (and i repeat, a sorceress) about knowing his mother. Not only that but he fully believed the illusion. Idk this just makes me so sad because he had that little spark of hope, not only about meeting his mother but also believing that not all sorcerers are evil. He didnt question these things, he went straight into them, which to me just again shows how desperate and hopeful he was at that point.

Obviously all of that was completely crushed when he attempted to murder his father and then merlin told him that it was all a lie butttt lets backtrack a little.

What i love about this episode more than anything is that is shows us that Arthur isnt completely brainwashed (using that word again because synonyms requre effort) by his father, he doesnt hang on every word that is told to him by Uther and all it takes to convince him that his father is wrong is one illusion.Him fighting with Uther and, even for that short period of time, believing that magic isnt evil, gives us an insight into the person he is. Hes not a bad person. He may be naive and ignorant because of the way he was brought up but if he was educated properly as a child then he wouldnt agree with his father so much. The question everyone always asks is what would happen if merlin hadnt stepped in? i think its fair to say that Arthur wouldnt hate magic so much and maybe the whole golden age of albion would actually happen, but arthur would be miserable. i think thats the main thing that pushed merlin to lie again, because by that point in the series its obvious that he doesnt fight for magic, he fights for arthur. Like yeah arthur saying that magic is evil at the end of the episode does clerly crush merlin but i dont think he would be able to live with Arthur being so miserable and guilt ridden over killing his father. Either way, this is about arthur and not merlin (though ill probably write a paragraph on that sooner or later) so let me pose you the final question (that i will also answer because im here to spread my unwanted opinions).

Is this entire episode pointless for arthurs character development or not.

when i first asked myself this question, the obvious answer was yes, because arthur went full circle. from hating sorcery to still hating it in the end. But what i later considered is that even if he went full circle, there was a journey he had to endure. If anything, he hates sorcery even more now simply because he first hand witnessed a sorceress “lie” to him for her own gain and to try to destroy the kingdom. All those things his father taught him about sorcery are essentially happening, and the fact that he was lied to about a sensitive subject like his mother, would just make the situation worse for him.

The thing about arthur and sorcery, is that he is never actually able to find his own stance on it. People manipulate him back and forth, whether thats Uther, agravane, morgana, morgause, random magical enemies of camelot who think starting war and conflict will make arthur hate sorcery less, everyone manipulates him and drags him into different directions. He never makes that opinion himself. Idrk, this isnt even relevant but im on a roll of pointing out sad things so whoohooo

So what is my point? If this hadn't happened, maybe Arthur would have an easier time making his own judgement and stance on magic, but of course its bbc merlin and we cant have happy endings.

Welp hope you enjoyed this rollercoaster of emotions, have a lovely evening ..or day?

Either way. As always. I blame uther

50 notes · View notes