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dangoghz · 7 years

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legitimate advice for new phandom blogs

hey !! so i know sometimes posts like ‘RULES FOR THE PHANDOM XD’ are made and they’re all like “numba one. dan is a squishy bean respect this uwu” but this isn’t gonna be like that lol. im just going to list a few actual things that might help people new to the phandom learn about and become integrated into the community! of course these aren’t ‘rules’ and u dont have to listen to any of it ofc,,, im not here to control ur blog, just here to say what people normally do. feel free to rb whether u are a new blog or not, ill appreciate it either way!

(NOTE: PLS TELL ME IF ANY OF THE LINKS DONT WORK AND ILL FIX THEM PERIODICALLY!)

italicized text is defined in the glossary at the bottom!

1. be interactive!

here, unique to our corner of timmy darn communism, we have a lot of like virtual traditions that everyone knows. these help you to make friends and also grow ur blog with some new mutuals. here are some examples.

networks: networks, or nets, are a sort of selective gc, usually with a theme or concept that it’s based around, in which all who wish to be part of fill out an application form that determines whether they get in. this is kinda the one with the most work, as u also have to make a group blog and info post, but it’s definitely worth it. i have made my closest friends in nets (such as @phleurnet which i birthed), and a lot of people on here would say the same. if you want to know more or apply, my friend diana runs an update blog @phandomnets! (examples, these are all open btw: x x x)

meetups: meetups are not in real life, don’t worry. a meetup is when someone organizes a specific time at which we all post thing around a certain theme! for instance, on halloween on tuesday, my friend milo hosted a halloween meetup. usually people post selfies but if u are uncomfortable with that, u can post art, music, or anything else related to the theme. a blog called @phandommeetupwatch keeps track of these! (examples, all happening soon/just happened: x x x)

follow forevers: a follow forever is a big celebration post when u reach a follower count milestone, no matter 50 or 5k. u tag all of the blogs you love, and they reblog it to appreciate u! it’s really positive and shows people how their work has paid off. usually people are tagged in alphabetical order, and sometimes people bold their favorites but the stylization is up to u. (recent examples: x x x)

milestone activities: sometimes people do things for their followers when they reach a follower count that involves their followers requesting something! there are many many forms of this type of thing. a common one is blog rates, in which there is a set template and the blogger rates each blog that sends in an ask using the template (info post ex: x; rate ex: x). there are also url edits (x), name/url moodboards (x), and more. u can certainly come up w an idea of ur own, being creative is great!

talk to people: that’s right dude!!! ye!!! u can message a blog u think is cool, or send an ask if u think something they made or are talking about is interesting, or add something sweet in the tags (more on etiquette later) when u rb their post. additionally, sometimes people stir up discourse, and u should participate in it if u want (past discourse examples: x x). u can also send asks when people reblog ask games, which are a list of questions with a theme (new one of mine ex: x).

2. play around with your blog!

customizing your blog can start giving you what we call a branding, making you distinguished from other bloggers. this can include everything from as simple as using an icon to coding your own about page.

themes: a blog can be way more appealing if it is aesthetically pleasing. admittedly, i often follow people just because of the smoothness of their mobile theme. a mobile theme is rather easy to construct as u can do it on ur own with a phone. it is how ur blog looks on a phone. although u don’t have to do this, i recommend sticking to two to four colors on ur theme and avoiding stuffing it with a lot of bright things because it can distract from content. additionally, bloggers often make their descriptions short and succinct. (my fav mobiles: x x x.) on a pc, your blog theme can be customized completely on html, meaning there is a lot of freedom. u don’t have to learn to code for this, bc u can find free themes anywhere, just search ‘free tumblr themes’ on google. once again, be creative, but u shouldn’t overload. (my fav pcs: x x x.)

about pages: in order to avoid chunky descriptions but still let people know the key deets about themselves, bloggers create about pages. sometimes these bout pages are uncoded but u can also use html code if u want to. some common things in an about page are interests, maybe personality types/horoscopes/hogwarts houses, original content, and links to other social media. (examples: x x x)

urls: urls are a key part of your blog’s brand. ‘rebranding’ is what people say if they change their url! if u are tired or bored with your url, changing it is an opportunity to change your theme and other parts of ur blog as well. (url change ex: x).

saved urls: saved urls are basically when bloggers hoard sideblogs in order to reserve the urls used for them. if you ever encounter a blank blog that has ‘saved’ as its title, that’s probably it. sometimes people like to give away their urls, either as a constant thing (ex: x) or by doing a url giveaway (x). either way, it’s a good opportunity to change it up!

tags: in order to keep their blog cleancut and organized, a lot of bloggers have special tags for certain people, certain topics, and/or certain types of media. many people in the phandom particularly have tags for dan and phil that match (strawberries and cream, lune and sole, etc). if they have many of these tags, there can be a page for their tags on their blog. this page can be coded with special html or just a regular tumblr page, it doesn’t really matter. but it’s very useful for those who visit your blog, and makes it easy for u to navigate older posts as well! (examples: x x x)

3. learn to make og content!

producing original content helps you establish what your strengths are and why people should follow you. it also allows u to contribute to the fanbase, and gives u a chance of being noticed by dnp! and the validation is lovely. there are many options if u want to make something.

gifs: gifs are an ART here in the phandom, and its mechanisms still perplex me to this day bc ive never tried it. u probably already know what a gif is, but if not, its essentially a short animation made in photoshop that repeats. gifmakers are often distinguished by a unique coloring (example gifmakers: x x x), such as my friend emily’s smooth dark blue tint (x). it can be a long process to learn how to gif but it is very rewarding in the end, from what i’ve heard. (tutorials: x x)

art: there is a very wide range of phanartists, all with such talents, either digital or traditional, that you can draw inspirations from for your own work. you can make cartoons, comics, realism, abstract, nsfw even, or any mix (or none) of the former. artists on tumblr definitely deserve more attention than they get here on tumblr, so be sure to show appreciation towards them! (my fav artists: x x x)

edits: edits are the Graphic Designs of our community and are usually very aesthetically pleasing. they can be centered around a certain event, like a video or something dnp made, or just for fun. the more practice you get making them, the more dexterous u’ll become. they can be a great tool if u like the design aspect of art but don’t want to actually draw. (edit makers: x x)

icons: icons are just the little profile picture that u can insert for ur blog. it’s really easy and fun to make them, kind of like a lazy version of edits. you can make them using photoshop or an app like picsart or medibang, and it doesn’t take a lot of time. more on how to use icons in section 4. (examples: x x x) (my lil tutorial: x)

moodboards: moodboards are nine pictures arranged 3 by 3 that have a certain color scheme. it’s kind of like a collage except the photo feature here separates the pictures for u. there are a lot of innovative moodboard makers that stun me w how pretty it looks or how they arrange the pics. moodboards are also an easy and fun option! (moodboard tags: x x x)

textposts: this is by far the easiest and more common form of content u will find. it’s just writing about dnp in a textpost! if a textpost isn’t very serious, people also call it a meme or shitpost. shitposting is defs on the rise here so its a good business to get into. it’s also a great outlet for ur emotions or personal connections to what dnp do! (example talk tags: x x x)

fics: by far the most famous media to come out of here, phanfiction is a popular form of phan indulgence. u have probably heard of the most scarring ones (list: x), but there is actually a really vast range of it, not just creepy smut! some other genres are fluff, angst, and slow burns. u will discover that, despite the sterotype, not all fanfiction is bad. you can find lovely fics on @phanfictioncatalogue by genre, au, or topic. and, if u need help writing something, many writers would love to help. (a few well-known fics: x x x x x)

4. tumblr etiquette!

i know tumblr might seem like a simple social media (or perhaps not after u’ve read all the above?) but there’s a lot of things that u just....u just don’t do. it’s sort of like virtual manners, and if u don’t follow them, then it’s unlikely that people will like ur blog. once again, this is by no means me forcing u to run ur blog a certain way. it just happens that the types of ppl who break these rules are who we mock in gcs :////////. so yea, here’s some advice.

credits: if u decide to use someone’s art, edit, gif, or icon on the theme of ur blog, check what they require of u before u use it. most content creators strongly ask for credit in the description of ur blog, either by link or like ‘icon/header/art by ____’. it is just a common courtesy to the person who spent time on that, and if u think credit will ruin the aesthetic of ur blog, a) u probably don’t have an aesthetic in the first place and b) learn to appreciate art, binch.

anonymity: anon asks can be very powerful either negatively or positively depending on how u yield them, so make sure that u are careful with what u send. compliments are always welcome and criticism as well, but blatant rudeness or hate will do nothing. u will only make someone feel bad about themselves and it will not accomplish anything. also, u face the threat of all their friends turning u into a meme.

sensitivity: a lot of people here are way too easily offended by harmless jokes, a common example in the phandom being when we insult dnp affectionately and people take it way too much to heart. please don’t start drama over something w no real meaning. however, there are times when it is indeed necessary. if u want to criticise a blogger, be respectful of them simultaneously. by all means, if u spot someone being racist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynist, or the like, feel free to call them out on it. but beforehand, make sure that u have done ur research and are educated on the topic, or u could turn out to be blatantly wrong.

adding to posts: everyone makes this mistake when they start out here and that’s totally okay, but adding to every post u reblog is incredibly bothersome. a rule of thumb would be don’t add anything unless what u say will actually improve the post significantly. if ur additions are along the lines of ‘LOL’ or ‘i relate!!!!’ or ‘philly is a smol bean XD’, learn to use the tags for heaven’s sake. they’re there for not only organization but also for commenting. some exceptions, though, would be if u are mentioned in the post or the op is your close friend.

respecting privacy: this should already be obvious to u, but respect dan and phil’s boundaries. do not tag them or their main tags (#daniel howell, #danisnotonfire, #amazingphil), in any phanfics, phanart (like specifically with them as a romantic ship), or phan edits. do not talk to their family members, expose their personal info like address or phone number, and do consider that they are real people just like u. we may make things based around phan, but it is kept in a community for us and not for dan and phil’s eyes. this is very important.

5. have fun!

sorry if this is all overwhelming, but i tried to make it as simplified as possible. and also sorry for the sass, i’m kinda tired of all the ding dongs on here and want to prevent further ding dongs from being created. thanks so much for readin and be sure to send me an ask anytime if u have questions! welcome to hell!

glossary

timmy darn communism: me being my usual weird self and replacing ‘tumblr dot com’ with random words that start with the same letters

mutuals: someone who you follow and who follows you; usually who u interact with most

rb: shortening for ‘reblog’

discourse: when theres is intense discussion of a certain topic, sometimes phan-related sometimes not, sometimes serious and sometimes silly

branding: the word ‘branding’ kinda started as a joke, but it’s generally what we use to call what someone’s blog reminds them of, whether it be a certain color or a discussion topic; my branding, if u asked a mutual, would probably be impressionism, tea, and baguettes (dont ask ab that one)

html: a simple type of coding used for designing websites! u can learn basic html here or here, it’s way easier and funner than it looks

dnp: dan and phil; we also say ‘deppy’, ‘dip and pip’, ‘the boys’, ‘the rats’, and more

coloring: basically the stylization of a gif, shown through filters, textures, contrast, brightness, etc.

talk tag: a tag in which all of the textposts that a person makes are sorted into

phanfiction terms

smut: porn fic :/

fluff: just what it sounds like, a type of fic that usually has a lot of soft stuff like cuddling, flirting, and looooove

angst: a fic with a lot of drama, usually sad or very emotional

slow burn: a fic where a pairing, in this case phan, slowly falls in love

au: stands for ‘alternate universe’, a fic in which dan and phil are written not as youtubers but in a completely different scenario (ie. bad boy and new guy in high school, university students, space exhibition, anything u can dream up really)

anon: short for ‘anonymous’

op: short for ‘original poster’, aka who made the post

#this took me SO LONG pls appreciate it #gogh away ester #dan and phil #phan #phandom #phan advice #phandom advice #phil lester #dan howell #luncheon

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yoon-kooks · 6 years

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precioussummer replied to your post: whats the science behind having 2 ultimate biases...

Idk how to answer this question generally. But if im answering it in the ym context, I’d say theyre actually pretty similar. Bc i think im drawn to them bc of similar reasons. They both have so much love to give it hurts (though each shows that differently). They both are extremely dedicated to their own art. They both have been through horrible mental health issues and overcome those fears to become inspirations for other people.

They both have great smiles bc after u know what theyve bene thru and how hard theyre on themselves u just really appreciate it when theyre happy. Their style is pretty sensual (in different ways). They both have that mysterious/dangerous vibe(slytherin kidss). I can go on but yeah. Them soulmates make me cry like a bitch

oooh this is a nice and thorough explanation! i totally agree about everything here😭👌👌 also the thing about mental health issues is so real. i feel like yoongi’s struggles have been more explicitly said (especially after his mixtape), but after watching burn the stage and some of the jimin logs, you can tell that jimin also has a lot going on 😔😔😔 i honestly do worry about him a lot even though he always says not to....

but yea, that’s interesting how youre drawn to the things that are similar between them! although im aware of their similarities, i usually dont associate my biased heart with those specific things (besides their cute smiles of course!!!)🤔

like, i literally love them for opposite reasons and i dont know how that’s possible???

for me, i know im drawn to yoongi because of how similar i am to him in the way that he thinks about things and prefers to be left alone. for jimin, ive always wondered how he became my bias because we’re literal opposites in my eyes, but i just love that he’s outgoing and so affectionate!!💖💖💖 aLSO KINDA RELATED KINDA NOT, BUT NEITHER OF THEM ARE ACTUALLY MY IDEAL TYPE (AKA J*NGKOOK) BUT FOR SOME REASON THEYRE MY BIASES WHOM I LOVE😭 BUT WE’LL SAVE THIS TOPIC FOR ANOTHER DAY LMAO.

#reply post #and yes! i do believe theyre soulmates bc they understand each other so well #tbh all of bangtan are soulmates #oooo i like how this topic became a discussion😭👌#we should do more of these!#its very interesting to hear what others have to say~~!💖

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destiny-smasher · 7 years

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So! Episode 2 of Before the Storm! It was very good! If you haven't read my thoughts on Episode 1, here those are.

If you want an audio discussion about either episode, I've recorded podcasts with my girlfriend, @mollifiable, as well as musicians Riley Hawke and Koethe. Here’s what we discussed on Ep1, and here’s the podcast on Ep2. BEAR IN MIND I will be discussing a number of things from EPISODE 2, so you probably shouldn’t read this if you haven’t experienced it yet. There are some inherent problems I still have with this projects conception (which I got into in that first post back in September), but Epsiode 2 has gone a long way toward giving me faith in why this story is being made. Or, at the least, that it's being made with a lot of thought and care. I've played a LOT of story-focused, episode games, and honestly, I think this episode is one of the best I've ever experienced, overall. I still struggle with some elements of the story (ex. I just don't like Rachel as much as I think I'm 'meant to,' BUT I think that ties into what the overall story may be about), and I still feel frustrated that your team is being limited by the nature of the setup (why is this all happening over three days when it could’ve been over three years, for example), but Episode 2 just has so much good going for it and I felt like it really showed what can be done with a project like this. Like last time, I want to address this to Madeleine, Felice, and the entire team at Deck Nine directly – and point out how much it means to us that you guys actually reach back and communicate with us, even encouraging criticism. I'm proud of what your team has been able to accomplish with this episode and think it stands out in the genre in a lot of ways.

Let’s get to it.

That being said, I do want to offer my criticisms, so let's just get those out of the way first. First off, Samuel – yeesh. Sorry, I just really didn't like the scene with Samuel. Part of it is his new voice actor just sounding more...creepy? I guess I'd say? But also, his manner of speech and the things he said felt out of place. Not just for his character but with the story in general. In LiS1, Samuel comes across as mentally different than those around him, almost like a sort of sage in a way, engaging with the world in a different way than those around him (there's a similar character in Supergiant's brilliant Pyre who comes to mind). But here, Samuel felt like a cross between a psychiatrist and a guy taking too many drugs? That's perhaps harsh, but especially given that his character model/rigging didn't seem to carry over properly, I was just rubbed the wrong way by his presence in this episode in a way that hasn't happened with any other recurring characters. I appreciate the intent I picked up from his scene – to remind us that there's more going on than just what we can see on the surface – but I felt like it missed the mark of who Samuel was as a character without really establishing why he would be different in this way three years in the past. On a related subject – the adult characters in this episode, or at least some of them, felt weird. MOST of them felt more like caricatures than actual characters. Wells felt fine, and I actually kind of PREFER this take on Wells because he feels LESS like a caricature and more like an actual principle. I can even kind of see a headcanon link between this interpretation of him and the version of him three years having just kind of shed away his decorum from the stress of managing a school undergoing so many changes and financial problems. I really felt for Joyce, and I felt that David's character was finally presented in a way that lacked the cliché “military” skew that LiS1 forced too hard while simultaneously giving the audience an understanding of precisely why his presence in the household would push Chloe so far away (though I still find much of the Joyce/David stuff odd here because we already know where this all leads and nothing here really seems to build anything new from that). Characters like Rachel's dad, the theater teacher, Samuel, Skip, Damon, and Sean Prescott all felt...a bit too cartoony in ways. Damon maybe least of all due to the intensity of that scene and the nice subtext we can pick up (after all, money is a realistic and pragmatic motive to drive one to aggression) In general, the adults felt flatter and more cartoony than I think works for this setting. Not to say they should NEVER be funny or anything, just that I was repeatedly taken out of the story by how jarringly one-dimensional a line was, or how flat a voice delivery was, etc. Fortunately, this problem doesn't really carry over to the teens, who are, of course, the focus of the narrative. I also noticed more moments in this episode where characters' eyes were uncanny, staring straight ahead in unnatural ways – or mouth movements being weird (Samuel being the biggest example, to the point that it jarred me out of the story and distracted from his dialogue). Minor complaint, all things considered, but worth pointing out as I didn't really notice this happen in episode 1, which makes me worry that maybe things got rushed a bit too much? (you guys did release this episode weeks earlier than expected) On the upside, though, this problem did NOT exist when it mattered the most, so at least that detail was put into the important moments. All right, last nitpick – I found the whole “drugging” thing re: the pre-play scene to be in bad taste. On the one hand, I LIKE the premise, and how it really does a fascinating thing with developing/contrasting/comparing Rachel and Victoria (in a way that requires knowledge of alternate events, something only a video game could do), but on the other hand...ya'll made drugging teen girls in an active, malicious way this...joke. While I do love that BtS has more comedy in its tone, I found turning Victoria's drug-induced passing out into a JOKE to be kind of offensive, especially given that she can get drugged and murdered in LiS1 (and Rachel AND Chloe both get drugged and/or murdered?), and just...yea. All in all, I think the concept of this scene works, it's the execution that makes it feel insensitive and kind of worrying. (ex. Victoria passes out and fucking NO ONE calls a doctor or tries to help her, the camera fucking PANS on her unconscious body like it's this joke and the way the whole thing is framed just invites laughter on something that kinda sorta shouldn't be funny given the full context of this story) Anyway, it's kind of like the wine scene in the first episode, but worse in terms of implications, I guess? I'm not THAT torn up over it since it's brief, and everyone's OK in the end, I presume, but it just feels a bit tone deaf when SO MUCH of this episode is SO GOOD. It really took me out of the experience – but the layered nature of it (how Rachel gets her way no matter what, how Rachel AND Victoria are both willing to drug each other, how Vic can be manipulated while Rachel can't) makes it really intriguing. I think the concept here was intriguing, but the execution on stuff like this could be handled more thoughtfully. I could get into pacing issues, I suppose, but honestly, I've already critiqued enough, and I think this episode was really good, so I don't want to get too down on the details when I'm sure others will get into this topic. (like the canon inconsistencies, they’re there, but aren’t really detracting from the good stuff)

OK! With all of that out of the way, let me get into what I loved about this episode, which was most of it. Episode 1 was unclear and uncertain in what it was trying to convey, which makes more sense now that we have Episode 2, which dives right into what this story seems to be about – passion, and the good and bad that comes from it. Passion, to be clear, being different from love. Love is steady, consistent, like a stream of water, while passion is fast and bright and sudden, like fire. I could get into the elemental symbolism you could correlate between wind, water, fire and Chloe, Max, and Rachel, but I'm sure folks have done this already. I do think it's still worth pointing out just how great a job you've done so far using fire as a metaphor for Rachel and Chloe's relationship, both within the story presented here and overarching into LiS as a whole. You managed to work it into the actual plot, as well, in a way that doesn't feel forced or thoughtless – an entire episode later and there are still consequences from it. Having just experienced the CA wildfires a half hour away from my home, I can appreciate a certain level of fear and awe at how much can be affected by fire, even the air itself, and just how quickly it can spread and how much damage it can do in a short time. The fact that the title screen itself it an analogy about passion makes me super excited at the potential for episode 3. Absolutely love that the title screen doubles as atmosphere AND symbolism. Specifically, I have to call out the dream sequence here as being quite awesome. From the moment I saw the burning car with a shadowed figure, I already knew what the visual reveal at the end of the scene was going to be, and was still thoroughly satisfied. I absolutely love LOVE the metaphor William presents about comparing/contrasting light and dark in terms of how both can cause us to lose ourselves, lose our ways, and be blinded. The way this correlates to Chloe's loss of William, Max, and Rachel (darkness) to how she can be blinded by light (passion for Rachel, even excitement about Max's power later on) is all encapsulated in a single bit of dialogue that communicates such an underexplored theme in the medium, and one that makes telling this story from a teenage perspective suddenly feel 100% sensible instead of just a coincidence. Telling a story diving into the theme of passion just wouldn't work the same from a character too young or too old, because it's this part of the human condition that we experience passion the deepest and the hottest. Which brings us to the fantastic play aspect, which is one of my favorite moments in all of LiS at this point. The layers of meaning at work here were genius. First off, it's all a play – an act. And Chloe is trying to keep up, while Rachel is clearly experienced with this. Secondly, the connections between relationships in The Tempest to the protagonists is great use of intertextual storytelling. Thirdly, highlighting a Shakespearean play, which highlights passion from teenage youths, yet another layer. Fourth, they go off script, which itself has really interesting connotations in terms of this game itself existing in the first place as an “off script” piece of the story, as well as how the content of their moment carries an unrealistic, impractical hopefulness to it that is inspiring, but still an act in a play, involving magic and fantasy. Fifth, concluding the scene with the way the play ends adds this really awesome extra layer of meta expression – Rachel as a character gets to be expressed and represented in a way she originally was not, with the help of fans of the LiS developing this prequel, but also fans of LiS breathing life into Rachel before this prequel existed; PLUS the prequel itself is a performance that you, the development team, are putting on for us, the audience. There's just so much going on here, and the musical choices helped seal the moment's emotional impact. Even as myself, coming from the perspective of not trusting Rachel's judgment/actions, I felt as if I finally had a 'moment' where I truly understood why Chloe was so swiftly enamored with Rachel. It reminded me of moments I've experienced in my own past, though nothing as 'magical' as this. It also just highlighted how Rachel's character has power and influence over those around her despite being so young. All in all, bravo. This scene came together fantastically, and I think it's one of the most thoughtfully put together scripted scenes I've ever seen in a video game. This was the moment I fell in love with this story – not because of AmberPrice but because it was so well put together by everyone involved. I think this will probably go down as the highlight of this game when all is said and done. To back things up a bit, I did enjoy the premise of the junkyard stuff. I really liked giving Chloe's character a bit of breathing room on her own – the kinds of things she thinks to herself while exploring the environment showed a bit of Max's influence on her still being present even as she's trying to forget Max. I liked that we could pick different objects to help decorate/fix the van, as well, but the flow of the scene would work better if we could do it all in one trip rather than taking two trips – I found myself disoriented after placing the battery into the car, and by that point had lost track of where specific objects were, whereas it would've been more fitting to maybe have Chloe make note of the items first, or even gather them all up into a pile and let the player choose from there. I predicted and felt satisfied by how the truck was utilized as an analogy for Chloe as a person – broken, banged up, abandoned, lost, but if given enough attention and care, could be back up and running. The therapy session Rachel and Chloe have was also nice at building their relationship further.

Something that wasn't as apparent in episode 1 because it simply needed time to grow was the whole way that Rachel is presented as someone who is flawed. Because the story is from Chloe's perspective, there's maybe too many limits on how this can be developed, though we'll see how the finale handles things, but I really liked that all of the flaws we already know about her character from stuff in LiS1 felt contextualized in this episode. She can be manipulative, short-sighted, impulsive, and even self-absorbed, but it's not malicious or even intentional all of the time. Rachel herself is in a similar position as Chloe – they're teenagers – she is still figuring herself out, what she really wants, who she really wants to be, and how she can achieve those things. All of my doubts, concerns, and fears about this relationship between them all feel validated by their dynamics, by the theming and foreshadowing, and yet it simultaneously makes sense why and how they'd end up together – out of teenage passion, and a shared sense of longing to feel both needed by someone else and taken care of by someone else. The scene after the play, in the street, had a great sense of aesthetic to it, which felt like it was from a teen romance film from the 80's or something. The imagery of the scene highlights the nature of this whole story – a splash of light along a dark road that is Chloe's teenage years. The multiple ways this scene can play out depending on previous choices was neat, too. I was especially intrigued by the possibility of making the “Friendship” choice in Ep1, then asking for a kiss here in this scene – there's this amazing bit of animation in Rachel's face that really shows her thought processes clicking together in an ambiguous way that really fits her character. I'm also super curious as to what will come of the bracelet bit, since Rachel surprisingly gives it to Chloe if you ask for it, despite the fact that we know she ultimately gives it to Frank. There's multiple possibilities of what that could entail, and I'm really interested in seeing how that plays out. This actually reminds me of how much I liked the way decisions from episode 1 have branched out here. Rather than decisions having a single static meaning later on, you have aspects from Episode 1 lead to different branching possibilities of how scenes play out. The outcomes are usually the same, but still, it makes the story feel more dynamic, and I like how these aren't always super obvious. There's a lot of examples of this, from telling Rachel that Chloe feels romantically or not, to stealing the money, to what you do WITH the money, and some other smaller things, too. Great work with this stuff, it helps us see different angles to the characters when we have these options, and highlights what LiS was originally about re: characters – perspective is everything. And yet, Rachel seems almost immune to things in a sense, which is appropriate given how her character works and how she influences those around her. I liked the scene with Frank in the RV and the way it contrasts and compares his future self to his past self. Which reminds me, this episode had a bit more interesting 'character development through environment,' which was a highlight of LiS1 that felt missing from Ep1 of Before the Storm. Whether it was Frank's RV, Elliot's dorm room, the Amber household, or, most poignantly, Drew's dorm room, you guys did a great job letting us learn more about the characters through the environments. While you could argue that it doesn't quite match Chloe's character the way it does Max (and I'd argue that the whole nature of trying to socialize and make friends itself already is kind of against Chloe's character in Ep1), I think it works well enough and just makes sense from a game design standpoint. I liked that we got more opportunities for graffiti in ways that weren't just straight up wall graffiti (ex. Crossword, drawing on the newspaper photo). I glossed over this last time, but part of what I've been frustrated by with Before the Storm is the way Chloe at 16 years old...already feels like Chloe at 19, but slightly more awkward. Episode 2 helped resolve some of this by putting her outside of her comfort zone more and highlighting her vulnerability, cynicism, and uncertainty (whereas Chloe at 19 kind of doesn't give a shit and dives head first into everything and doesn't care what anyone thinks). I also really love the multiple ways you've referenced that Chloe was originally a “nerd” like Max, and has gradually been straying away from that – and yet, it's still part of who she is (and ends up showing itself later on in LiS1, like how she seems to know more about time travel theory than Warren does). In particular, I loved how she pulls up different characters' web search histories – something that doesn't specifically take much effort, but that most people wouldn't think to do. This in and of itself was a really clever way of adding more to character development for those involved. (“why won't puppy eat steak” is hilarious to me and I can't get over it for some reason) The entire scene with Mikey, Drew, and Damon was wonderful. I loved the multiple outcomes and how none of them are specifically good, and any of them can feel in character for Chloe. I think Damon's character feels a little one dimensional here, BUT the context makes sense – he wants his fucking money. He's collecting debts after suffering a huge monetary loss. Of course he's going to be single-minded. As a side note, I loved the small but significant bit re: Damon's e-mail to Frank. Props to whoever came up with that. What a brilliantly subtle way of telling us so much about Damon's true character and his relationship with Frank. Going back to the conflict at the dorm, I loved that you took a bully character who appeared simple and effortlessly fleshed him out enough to feel legitimately believable with real motives. I loved how I was able to figure out the passcode to his lock organically given everything I had seen, and how I then used that knowledge to express what I felt would be in his best interests in the conflict – even though, as my girlfriend pointed out, it might not have been the best long-term outcome. I wish we'd seen more of Mikey and Steph, but what was there was still good. Steph's brief convo with Chloe I saw coming in a good way, and I really liked how you presented it. I liked the bits we got with Samantha and Skip, as well, thought I'm wondering where you're going with Samantha and Nathan. I was actually really frustrated with the Backtalk sequence with Skip, but then, I think that was the whole point. Speaking of, I really didn't like Backtalk in Ep1, but it was overall much better here. In Ep1, Backtalk was like some weird 'Be an Asshole' thing, and it felt weird how the game inherently encouraged you to do this. In Ep2, there were multiple times where I felt unsure if Backtalk was 'the best' way to go, and even then, most of its uses felt much more organic. It wasn't just about being a jerk to make someone feel bad, there was often some organic purpose to it – talking Victoria out of being in the play in a way that made her feel like it was her own decision; trying to get info out of Frank; trying to get into a dorm you weren't supposed to be in; trying to stick up for Rachel in the face of discipline, or trying to help her confront her father. In every case, there was an interpersonal motivation – Chloe wasn't doing it for something she specifically wanted, or just to make someone feel bad, but to try and do something for someone else. Also, they felt more like arguments, or ways of manipulating someone, rather than straight up insults. In some ways, it reminded me of things in TellTale's The Walking Dead Season 2, using more manipulative dialogue to resolve a situation rather than just brute-forcing things. This also contributes toward the theme of 'influence' regarding Chloe being influenced by Rachel so quickly and easily that she's even picking up some of Rachel's tactics (which, one could argue, she uses later on when she's older). This being said, I'm hoping that in Episode 3 we're given a more high-stakes situation that can be resolved using those more manipulative mannerisms, which gives the Backtalk mechanic a “climax” of sorts.

I like the way that you've been able to build this sense of supernatural occurrences without actually showing anything supernatural. The All-Seeing-Eye, the recurring Raven imagery, the weird shit going on with Chloe and others seeming to be having mysterious, prophetic dreams (even Elliot and Frank seem to be having them), the way the ash fall at the end of the episode foils the snowfall at the end of Ep1 of Life is Strange. This builds to a fascinating moment at the end of the episode where, for the first time, perspective SHIFTS from Chloe to Rachel, only for a few seconds, but in a really neat way that leads you to FEEL like something supernatural is about to happen, only for it not to. In a way, this feels like what your overall story could be about in a sense, though it'd be downright odd at this point to have NO answers or resolution regarding what I described above. One of the original game's biggest flaws was how it drummed up mystery only to leave things unexplained or unresolved in ways that damaged the actual plot. Dream sequences don't necessarily do this, but with how much emphasis you've put on them and the Raven/Eye imagery, I feel like there must be a purpose you have here – especially if members of your staff are getting ravens tattooed on their bodies. Naturally, Rachel's mom seems tied to all of this, if not the origin point of it. And I can't help but wonder if we'll even get a perspective shift near the end of the story from Rachel's point of view, if only to help imply or insinuate some things that tie into unanswered elements of Max's story. Speaking of Max, I was much more happy with the 'letters' in this episode, as they spend very little time needlessly bashing a character who wasn't even present, and more time on Chloe quickly becoming obsessed with Rachel – which all makes sense with the arc you seem to be going for. I liked the extra allusions to Chloe's future with Max, such as the maze and William's remark about a “beauty” to come in the future. It's such a complicated thing to tackle – and trust me, I've spent two years and hundreds of thousands of words trying to tackle it myself with these same characters – but I finally have come to a place where I can appreciate the balance you've managed to find between supporting the good elements Chloe and Rachel had going for them, while also implying the bad elements and the reasons why Chloe would develop feelings for Max later on. On a personal level, I relate with Chloe a lot in regards to her relationships (I relate with Max in a lot of ways, too, but that's a separate matter). I have lived through both long term and short term experiences of passion, romantically and platonically. And I have been romantically involved with people who remind me of Rachel. And I think that's part of why I just...don't like her, personally. BUT I am at a place now, after this episode, where I like her as a CHARACTER, even if I don't like her as a fictional person. I never can fully let my guard down around her, but can totally understand why Chloe would (and did), and have been there. And now that I have the context of this episode, I can finally start to see what 'the point' of this story seems to be, which makes me very curious to see how it is resolved. Lastly, again, great job using mocap and facial animation to heighten realism for a lot of scenes. While I noticed more “flat” moments than before, it never detracted from the important moments having that level of detail to make them bring out an extra layer of inevitability. From Chloe knocking at a dartboard to finger-gun gestures, to subtle but complex expressions, just a lot of great expressive details going on here. On that note, I noticed a real improvement in Rhianna’s performance. She felt like she wasn’t trying to mimic Ashly Burch or Ellen Page and was instead just finding her own interpretation of the role, and it works MUCH better. In a way, I still feel a constant sense of ‘this isn’t exactly Chloe’ but not in a bad way, just a...different way. Instead of feeling distracted by her actress being different, I felt instead like I was being more absorbed into this alternate interpretation of the character. Both Hannah and Ashly needed some time to fill into their roles before ‘the good stuff’ really came out in their performances, so I’m really looking forward to what Rhianna might pull off in Episode 3, and what she can do in the future after this role, when she isn’t burdened by the complexities of this kind of situation. I could go on, but I've ranted stream-of-conscious style long enough. I still have some more broad strokes issues with this game’s narrative, but then again, I have issues with the original game’s, as well -- and this story isn’t done yet, so I want to wait until I have the full context before I comment on those broad-scope design elements. I hope at least some of what I've written here is helpful to your team, and that my critical comments highlight just how good a job you guys did with this second entry. Regardless of how I end up feeling about Episode 3 of Before the Storm, I am really happy for your team and what they've pulled off here, and am very supportive of what you seem to be trying to do, as delicate a balancing act as it surely is.

#Life is Strange #Before the Storm #LiS BtS #Life is Strange Before the Storm

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averyconjurorpaul-blog · 6 years

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G-EAZY INVITED ME.

Anyone who knows me personally, knows that Logic and G-Eazy are my two biggest inspirations and favorite rappers. To be more specific, lately I would say Logic is my favorite rapper but G-Eazy is my favorite artist all around. That’s a topic for another time though. I started listening to both of them in 2013.

youtube

Back in November, G-Eazy picked a few cities to have his fans listen to his new album, The Beautiful & Damned, early. The seven cities he went to were Albuquerque, Chicago, New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, New Orleans and Minnesota. Because I live on Long Island, I went to the NY one at the Mezzanine. But you’re probably wondering, “How the fuck did you even get invited?!” Well, before he even announced these listening parties he released a bunch of pre-order bundles for the album. I bought the $50 one he had that came with a physical copy of the album, a hoodie, a bandanna, a key chain and a hat. I wanted the cop the autographed version but it was already sold out when I went to buy it. I also bought a poster. Like a week or two after, he posted on his Instagram that he’s going to do something special for the fans who pre-ordered the album early. The next day he announced that he’ll be having fan appreciation parties for the first 500 fans who pre-ordered it in each city. On that post, there was link to a form that had you put down your name, age and screenshotted proof that you pre-ordered the album. Once you clicked submit they said you would receive an email like 2 days before the event. Not expecting to get picked at all, I filled it out and sure enough I got an email with an invitation. I was hyped. Luckily, my boss let my take off work that day to go. I didn’t actually tell him why I took off. I just said “something kinda came up.” I think he thought something bad happened because he was genuinely concerned and asked me a few times if everything was alright. I never called out before that or took off from work prior to this either. It pays to be a hard worker.

Now being invited was cool enough and I was thankful for that already but what happened the day of the event was just the icing on the cake. So I drove to the city, parked in a parking garage and walked to Mezzanine. When I found the place, I saw the line and walked all the way to the back. I made it just on time. Not even like 2 minutes on the line, one of G’s organizers came up to me and asked me, “are you the last one on line?” I looked behind me and said “Uhh... yea.” Then he asked if was by myself and I said yes. He handed me a wristband and said “alright, come with me.” My dude put me on the VIP line. I didn’t even know there was VIP prior to getting there. Oh that wristband I got? When he gave that me and brought me to the other line, I figured it just lets them know you were a VIP. Apparently, it just meant that you were allowed to drink. I’m only 20. One of his other organizers ID-ed me and was like, “You’re under 21, why do have a wristband?” I pointed to the other organizer who gave it to me and said “Oh, he gave it to me.” He obviously took it away but I still got to be one of the first ones in. I don’t even drink anyway so I really could care less.

Lowkey thought they were going to send me back to the other line.

Being the first ones in, we got first dibs on the free food and those of us who were allowed to drink got access to the bar and were able to try Stillhouse (a brand of whiskey that G-Eazy partnered with a few months back). It was a nice intimate setting too. Since I had early entry, I was able to be close to the stage. It was pretty dope. It was different compared to being in an arena or outdoors with a big stage. The stage itself was small and you were basically just below eye level with anyone on stage.

When everyone finally made it in, they put on the short film that went along with the album. It was a nice visual to further explain the concept of the album.I thought it was cool. It kind of sucks that’s it’s only available on Apple Music. My son really needs to drop that opening track from the film though. I completely forgot about it until someone pointed it out on Twitter when the album officially dropped. After we were done watching, the GOAT himself came out and everyone started cheering. He came out and opened with his song “Shake It Up ft. 24 Hrs, E-40 & Madeintyo.” You can check out some of the clips of the night in my video above. He talked about the album, how some of the songs came about... some songs he performed while others he just let them play while he signed things for fans in the crowd. I wanted him to sign my copy of his Must Be Nice mixtape but I was just out of reach. It was basically a mini concert where you got to interact with the artist if you were lucky enough. Unfortunately, I was not able to actually meet him because it was just hard to push through the crowd. I’m just grateful to have been there and experienced all of it. I know one day I’ll meet him and you know damn well I’ll be making a blog post about it when I do.

Opinion of “The Beautiful & Damned?”

I love this album. I have literally been listening to it since the day it dropped. You can even say I have been listening to album before that too because I would listen to some of the leaked snippets on YouTube almost every other day leading up to the release. I was waiting for this album to drop for a long time. I was hyped as all hell for it and for me it delivered. Can’t lie though, I am a little salty that some of the snippets I heard didn’t make the album. I really wanted to hear the full versions of the “What Else is New?” and “Crazy Love” (probably not the official names) snippets that were supposed to be on his cancelled Endless Summer 2 project. Still salty about that too. I really hope one day he releases them. Before The Beautiful & Damned, his debut album, These Things Happen, was my favorite project of his as well as my favorite album... well... ever. It was my favorite album of all time. One of my tattoos are lyrics from the song “Opportunity Cost” that was on that album. He somehow managed to top These Things Happen for me. You might be asking, “What about When It’s Dark Out?” I thought When It’s Dark Out was okay. At first I kinda liked it but I really did not enjoy it as much. However, I liked the meaning behind the album which is probably why I still appreciate it. It’s weird too because it had that dark, villainy type vibe that G-Eazy has in some of his songs that I usually fuck with, but I just wasn’t feeling it for some reason. Of course I liked some of the songs on it. “Random” is still one of my favorite songs after all.

I feel like The Beautiful & Damned is the perfect mix of These Things Happen and When It’s Dark Out. I think that’s why I love it so much. It’s also the first album in awhile that I can sincerely say that I love every song but my favorite song is definitely “Charles Brown.” There is that deep conscious rap that I adore as well as hype tracks. Also I love the whole duality concept between G-Eazy and Gerald because I can relate to it. I can’t relate to whole partying, drugs and drinking lifestyle part because that just has never been my thing. I more relate to having two sides of me. Conjuror and Avery. I briefly went into that in my first blog post but I’ll talk more about that another time.

I always see people saying G-Eazy changed and all he raps about is drugs, partying, girls, sex and money instead of meaningful shit. If you think about it though, he always rapped about all of those things. Maybe not the money so much because... well he obviously didn’t have much at the time but go listen to his older mixtapes and you’ll see what I’m talking about. Go check out, Must Be Nice, Endless Summer, The Outsider, Big and you’ll see.

Honestly, getting invited to listen to your favorite artist’s new album early is just a dope experience all around. Especially one that you look up to so much. I’m so thankful and it will always be a moment I’ll never forget. The only thing left to do now is to actually meet the guy and one day I will... I just know it.

Connect with me:

Twitter: @CONJUR0R

Instagram: @conjur0r

Snapchat: ave_theconjuror

YouTube: AveTheConJuRoR

Twitch: CONJUR0R

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eeveelutionsforequality · 7 years

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@ mod vaporeon: i quickly read your reply and unfortunately i dont have time to write an answer to everything but some things i wanted to point out: i dont look at things individually, thats why what you think is *your* socialization is irrelevant to me, bc i analyze things on a bigger scale. 2nd, like u said i wasnt advocating for a law change or anything, it was more of a radfem conversation that got out of hand lol but yea its just semantics. sexual abuse would be the general thing,(part 1)

and rape the specific thing i talked about in the post. 3rd where im from id say the term sexual abuse has even more "weight" than the term rape so my intention was never to minimize it, just to separate it. bc women have a diff relationship with sexual abuse than men. that was the whole point i was trying to make. anyway, i appreciate ur reply and i wish i had more time to explain myself more. i tried to message u but i couldnt so here i am. anyway if u have more specific questions hmu (p2)😊

"unfortunately i dont have time to write an answer to everything"

That's okay! Real life and other things come first every time, don't feel obliged to reply to people or donate more time or energy than you have to stuff, I know how exhausting that can be.

"i dont look at things individually, thats why what you think is *your* socialization is irrelevant to me, bc i analyze things on a bigger scale"

I think that's the place where we're going to just fundamentally disagree. The foundation to your approach to things is that there is a collective "bigger scale" approach, but my foundation is that there isn't, that at most you'll see trends on the larger scale but there will always be people who differ and the individual experience will always override the generalization. That's one of the reasons why I think gendering laws/discussion about things that aren't inherently gendered (like, the ability to give birth in humans is an inherently sexed thing, only biologically female people can do it even if not all females can, but the severity of someone's abuse is not inherently gendered, even if someone believes there's a trend) can be very dangerous, because even if there is a trend it will still be discriminatory and harmful to any of the exceptions to that trend.

When it comes to socialization, context and circumstance are what dictate whether someone's experience will follow the trend that you think is there.

"like u said i wasnt advocating for a law change or anything, it was more of a radfem conversation that got out of hand lol but yea its just semantics"

Like I said, semantics to you, but other people use arguments like that to justify changing/keeping those laws. BUT you're not doing that and I'm not going to hold you accountable for what other people say.

"where im from id say the term sexual abuse has even more "weight" than the term rape so my intention was never to minimize it"

That makes sense, I'm sorry that such a small difference in language became such a focus of the discussion... words are weird.

"women have a diff relationship with sexual abuse than men"

I disagree with that generalization, I think it entirely depends upon the person and the situation - but again, I think that's our very different approaches to the topic. Yours is a collectivist one and mine individual and case by case, so of course we're going to come to differing conclusions. I think it'd be hard for either of us to persuade the other on this point without cycling all the way back to the foundations of the argument and debating which approach is best rather than debating who got the right answer, if that makes sense.

"anyway if u have more specific questions hmu"

I will do! And thank you for talking with me! I appreciate your replies too, and if you have any more questions or want to talk about anything I'm always here! :D

#Mod Vaporeon

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skairy · 7 years

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Yes please! Give me stories! Give me details! Give me anecdotes! Meeting those boys is my actual dream.

Ok, so, basically, as I sat down and tried to respond to this, I became increasingly aware that during the Glorious Interaction I was extremely spaced out, and I am therefore struggling to remember specifics - but I’ve tried my best!!!!! Also it’s disgustingly long so if you want to read a short story/what is essentially a stream of consciousness diary entry, go for it, or alternatively I wrote a short summary at the end of the MAIN DISCUSSION POINTS.

Alright so basically, my pal Maria and I had actually gone to the first Melbourne CSH show the week before, that had been dope etc, but then my other friend Ab got a ticket to the second show and wanted me to accompany him. I wasn’t particularly keen to buy a ticket, ‘cause Maria and I had just been scammed trying to buy tickets for Laneway, so we wanted to save our money a little. Instead, Maria and I agreed to go hang with Ab and have drinks at the Gaso (the pub they were playing at).

When Ab went in to the show, Maria and I had a wonderful conversation with the bartender. Ab then messaged me all ‘oh my god they’re playing Sober to Death’ and I kinda freaked out, so the bartender, like, pulled some strings and got us in for free for the last half of the set!!!!!

Just like the first time, the show was fucking amazing ~ I honestly can’t talk it up enough! I’m not exactly sure how to explain what was so good about it - I mean, the music sounded great, but also like, it was a very fun and high energy performance.

So yeah, the gig finished, and I wanted to chill for a lil while to ensure I was alright to drive. It was pretty hectic inside the pub so we found a quiet little spot around the corner, and we sat down listening to some music/chatting.

THEN!!!!! After ~half an hr, Seth, Ethan and Will came around the corner!!!!

I mean, it was kind of weird, we were all just… sitting down on the street corner, huddled under some tree - I’m sure it was a very tragic sight.

As they were walking past we all just like, went silent. Ab and Maria eventually got up and approached the guys/their van (it was pretty hilarious to watch, they creeped over with such a bizarre mix of eagerness and tentativeness - it was like they were really bad actors in a movie about terrible thieves). Anyway I was still sitting ‘cause I felt kinda apprehensive - I didn’t want to be annoying/intrusive etc but at the same time…….. I wanted to meet these people who I obviously think are really cool.

But yeah I heard Ab ask for a photo, and saw the #Boys approach approach them, and my eagerness to join in (and lack of faith in Maria’s ability to take a decent photo) got the better of me so I leapt up and scurried over.

Ohhhhkay also lmao so, because Maria hadn’t actually intended to go into the gig that night, she’d done a little grocery shopping beforehand, and had bought a massive ass bunch of kale. So, I was carrying it with me when we approached the Boyz and like, for some reason, when it was my turn to get a pic, I decided it would be a good idea to be like ‘eyyyy Will lmao wanna like hold this kale haha it would be funny’ and he just like, so nonchalantly said something like ‘yeah alright,’ and proceeded to, well, hold the kale….. so, that awfully boring story about Will holding kale explains why, in my photo with them, Will is holding kale.

Anyway yah, as it turned out, they were waiting around for Andrew. So, ‘cause they weren’t super rushed or anything, we hung around making conversation. But uh, as I was rudely reminded of that night, both Ab and Maria are pretty quiet when they are meeting new people, so I (regrettably) took it upon myself to keep the conversation flowing and ended up just……… like…….. well I feel like I embarrassed myself by being too OTT.

My first topic of conversation was just like, talking about how sweet the live show was, which I think probably made them feel as embarrassed as most people are when they are paid compliments, so I was like ‘oh I’m sorry you probably get that a lot!’ but then Ethan was all ‘oh, no, not really!! Thank you!’ in a very genuine and appreciative way (I hope he never sees this and is like ‘wow - totally misquoted’ because I truly am doing the best I can to wrack my hazy brain).

Then we talked about how, the next day they were going to my hometown, Adelaide. Maria alleges that at that point Will mumbled ‘I’ve never been to Adelaide,’ but I guess I didn’t hear cause I was too busy saying something dumb like ‘haha yeah Adelaide is great!! We have uh…. some…… real good cafés!!!’ and then Ab interjected, talking some shit about my sweet city, to which Ethan replied like, ‘oh, no, I’ve only heard good things about Adelaide!’ which made me feel totally grateful and vindicated (but also slightly disbelieving - I mean, WHO was saying this nice stuff about Adelaide???).

At some point I complimented Ethan on his very cool outfit, and he told us that his denim jacket was given to him at a festival!!! I also told Will that his getup was very crisp (I explained that ‘crisp’ is my fav word for describing nice/cool/fresh things, because it’s just. a great word) and lmao I honestly can’t even remember how he reacted to that - I think partially that was ‘cause I was too nervous to look at him, and partially ‘cause he was probably tired and generally wasn’t reacting all that much.

I also started to talk about how we had gotten into the gig for free that night and then froze up and worried that was like, a social faux pas, but Seth and Ethan were all nah!!!!!! good on u!!!!! congrats!!!!

AND OMG I JUST REMEMBERED THIS - honestly this is more a story about me than anything else, but um, I was feeling very self conscious about how much I was talking, and my plan was to say something like ‘ahhhh ahah I feel like I’m steamrolling you guys’ to Maria and Ab, but then after I started the sentence, the only word my mind could summon was ‘rickroll,’ so I was freaking out for a few seconds, trying to remember the correct word, whilst also grappling with the image of a dancing Rick Astley in my head. It was 2 much.

Oh and yeah at the end, we went back and sat under our tree, but then I realised I’d left the bag of groceries over by the car. So, I had to like, slink back over to #TheBoys and be like eyyyyy guyzzz just picking up my groceries that I genuinely accidentally left over here Ha Ha not being a creep!!!! Then I yelled ‘sorry’ to Maria for having almost left her groceries behind, but, then, I think it was Seth, he thought I was talking to him and was like ‘haha?? don’t worry? it’s ok!’ with a slightly confused look on his face and idk I just died a little. I was like ‘ohhhh noooo not you’ but then that made it all more awkward. Truly cringe guys. Never meet ur Idols™ (jk) (sort of) (just be cool and not like me)

SHORT VERSION~

I had kale with me from a supermarket trip and I thought it would be funny to ask Will to hold it. He honestly reacted like it was nothing out of the ordinary to carry around bunches of kale and ask strangers to hold them in photos with you, which was both reassuring and disconcerting - anyway yea so that is why he is holding KALE in that photo.

We complimented them all on how awesome the live show was and I think they got a little embarrassed, but they were very friendly and receptive to the compliment.

We talked about my hometown, Adelaide - the next place they were going on the Laneway tour - and Ethan very enthusiastically told us he had only heard good things about it; i found that comment especially nice ‘cause a lot of ppl like to take the piss out of Adelaide lol.

We also discussed how groovy Ethan’s outfit was, and he told us he’d been given his denim jacket at a festival!!! so that was pretty cool.

I also told them we’d gotten into the gig for free (we’d already paid to see them the week before so it’s not like i’m a total sack) and seth and ethan were like wooooo good for u!!!!!!!

~~~erhmmmmm yah, i dunno i feel like this post is super boring and lame ‘cause, upon reflection, we didn’t really talk about anything of substance, but i still had a fab time. i hope u could find something of interest in this novella

#Anonymous #car seat headrest #will toledo #ethan ives #seth dalby #personal

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fengreyfront · 7 years

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‘Touch’ Reflections - p.1

Hello. Here’s the commentary as stated in the author’s note in the final part of Touch. If you have not yet read the update, please do so first before reading this because there are spoilers - and please do leave a review on your way out as well, if it’s not too much trouble. [FF.net | AO3]

There’s a lot here that my brain needed to vomit out because I’ve thought of this fic every single damn day since I started it (11 months almost), so it’s very much on my mind, still. I needed a place to explain stuff, and to get these final thoughts out, and honestly, to vent, before I jump ship. So, I’ve split it into two posts, because it’s kind of long and I’m sure some people don’t care too much to read about what’s in part 2 (it’ll be writing tips, and venting).

Here in part 1, I explain my mentality when writing the characters to give some context, and also in the hopes that it might be able to help other writers to begin to think in such a way, if they seek to characterize similarly. I also just give you a run down of the epilogue I was going to write (which I will not be writing).

So, let’s discuss:

Eremika Character Study in Touch (Characterization decisions, and stuff about Teh Sex, you pervs)

Epilogue Summary

Follow Up One-Shot Summary

Eremika Character Study in Touch

Eren:

Wasn’t easy getting into Eren’s head from a romantic perspective, because we have no data/experiences canonically to go off of. So, I built this fic around wanting to delve into how he might actually handle this kind of situation.

I’d like to bring up this review here that sort of disagreed with my interpretation of him, to point out why I wrote him how I did:

I agree wholeheartedly that Eren is brash and doesn’t think things through before acting. But, the entire focus of the fic is to show how he is forced to veer from that way of thinking. It’s about him discovering a new side of himself, and having to go through complicated “uncharted territory”. The uncharted territory is really everything that is new to him in this fic - the situation with Mikasa, him having to discover what he wants after everything is over (I’m pretending chapter 88 never happened, or an antidote has been discovered, ssshh), him experiencing completely new feelings, etc.

I believe that Eren acts without thinking things through because he instantly makes a snap decision about them, and then acts on that initial reaction. That’s why in part 1, he pushed and pushed and pushed Mikasa into spitting out a confession-because he didn’t think beyond the shallow goal of ‘I want her to say what she’s hiding because she looks upset and I feel bad’.

But after she kisses him, Eren does not have a clear cut “YES/NO” initial reaction, and therefore has nothing to act in response to. He was confused. He didn’t have an immediate response, yet his body told him he wanted to kiss her more; he wants to focus solely on his mission, yet he keeps dreaming about having a future with her. It’s not easy stuff to grapple with.

I think it’s also important to note that, it is easy to act without thinking when anger is your driving force. For example, the sole goal he has built his life around is driven by this anger. A titan killed his mom. Titans impede humanity’s freedom. Titans = bad. He is angry about these things. Therefore, titans must be destroyed. Pretty straightforward.

But here, we have Mikasa, someone he cares deeply about - someone who is his family, someone who has stood by him through thick and thin, and someone who almost died for him, in the context of this fic. Their connection is special. What he has with her, he has with no one else.

Naturally, when someone you care this deeply about essentially tells you they’re in love with you, and you’ve never ONCE had thought that way about them, or even had a clue they felt that way about you… things can get complicated. For the first time, he finds himself in a situation where he can’t necessarily act without thinking, because he actually cares about her, and his answer will affect their relationship in the long term. It’s delicate.

So, his personality trait of acting on a snap decision collides with his caring for Mikasa, which collides with his confusion about thinking of her in more than platonic ways, which collides with him not wanting to ruin things, which collides with him wanting to focus on titans, which collides with his inability to work properly, etc. There’s just a lot of internal conflict going on for Eren, and that is why he acts the way he does in this fic. He is stumped, until he isn’t.

Mikasa

I wrote her as selfless as I believe her to be, canonically. She places her love for Eren, and her relationship with him - even if platonic - above all else, which is why she is so quick to descend into self-loathing at revealing her feelings. She fears she has lost him, so she is okay with swallowing her pride and shoving away her dreams of marital bliss with him, and is almost desperate to revert to how things were. But, goodness, even she is human, and having the person you’re in love with be so fickle, and ignore you, then give you attention, then be unable to give you a straight answer when you simply ask “yo is it cool if we stay in each other’s lives like before ‘cuz you’re important to me?” Well. I imagine that gets to a person.

During part 4, we see her selflessness come into play for the first half pre-sexytime. She kind of just lets all that tension go because he seems cray cray, so she puts him first. And then I thought, it’s kind of a relief to her that he’s alright with going to her for such things. She starts to think things are getting back to normal - that he’s alright with touching her and changing her bandages, and confiding in her, like old times.

And then he shows his guilt, which she hates, because she blames herself for everything of course, and suddenly he’s going “yea well sorry I can’t forget about that thing u did and things actually can’t go back to normal >:|”, so of course she gets confused and insecure because the dude seems totally off his rocker.

But then he tries to make out with her?! Like wtf Eren. And of course she’s been in love with him for a decade now, so she can’t help herself, because the love of her life essentially just served himself to her on a silver platter - but she backs away and kind of catches herself and rejects it because she believes that it’s too good to be true T____T. She believes he’s acting purely out of guilt and obligation, because despite being a loudmouth, Eren is extremely pure of heart. She believes he’s confusing his general caring for her with that guilt, and wanting to make up for it by just telling her what she wants to hear - which he of course shuts down by showing her that he desires her. Through the touchings.

Aaaand, that’s a nice segue - let’s delve a little more into my character study of them with our favorite topic, because let’s face it, you’re all pervs :)

Teh Sex. (some crass talk here...)

[...] touch conveyed all that he could not say. Touch was the language they both understood best, ‘I want you’, ‘I need you’, ‘I trust you’, and ‘this is for you, only you’, told in kisses and skin on skin and shared, drunken gazes.

This is the point of this fic. This is why they haves the sex.

You see, it’s easy to write sex between two people. It’s a pretty straightforward biological process - you can read a lot of erotica, watch some porn to get a visual idea of it, and then practice writing until you write sexy sex, and it’ll probably come out nice.

But, just writing sexy sex was not my goal here, as I just stated. I wanted this to be Eremika-specifc sex. I wanted the way they led into/have sex to demonstrate their personalities as well.

Before blocking out how they were going to do it, I knew I wanted to have this moment right before it, and this was very important to me - I wanted Eren to realize he was in love with her, right after she almost ripped his dick off.

Because it says, so much on both ends - and I think I was explicit about this in the fic. It shows Mikasa’s personality - well-meaning, yet sometimes takes things a little too far. It show’s Eren’s personality - acting out immediately, then getting tripped up when faced with a deluge of feelings, yet again.

And then it also shows the extent of his love for her. He does not love being physical with just anyone, he loves the act because he loves the person he is with, so much that he appreciates near-dismemberment because it’s such a her-specific thing to have happen.

Fear of having your dick ripped off during sex isn’t a normal thing - nor is realizing you’re in love with the person that nearly initiated the ripping off of said dick. This moment is extremely unique to them.

Here are some other moments where I wanted their personalities to shine - pardon my crass and graphic manner of speech for the next few bullet points:

Eren, being incapable of verbalizing his feels, communicates them to her by kissing her to death (which ends up being quite persuasive, as we later see)

Mikasa being an extremely quick learner, and a natural. In… everything. After Eren schools her in, “Oh. This is what happens to a penis when X, Y and Z occurs,” she brushes off the nerves and dives head first, and applies this knowledge right away, expertly. This, plus her general eagerness to please Eren, is why she begins to dry hump him, why she is always reaching for his dick after the fact, how she is able to learn how to ride him like a pro very quickly.

When Mikasa tries to grab Eren’s dick after they dry hump, he kind of bats her away and takes the lead. It’s him trying to be alpha, for once - but not out of insecurity. Rather, he wants to show his gratitude in a big way, so he goes down on her. AAAYYYY! THANK YOU EREN. LORD KNOWS MIKASA ACKERMAN DESERVES THIS. AND HE MADE HER ORGASM. SHE DESERVES IT FOR EVERYTHING SHE HAS DONE FOR THIS DWEEB. GET. IT. GURL. In this moment, and when they are actually having sex, you see Eren’s ego and pride showing every time he does something right, and it makes him want to impress and show off and please more. Though he is heavily invested in pleasing her because he loves her, her positive reactions are also kind of a compliment. Every moan is like a, “Yo, nice job! Keep up the good work!”, and being able to give her an orgasm is like someone threw him a congratulations party because dudes typically cannot do that LOL - especially right off the bat (I was going to reference that he heard this through bunker talk, but wound up not doing so). It’s also a testament to how good he is at reading her, and how well he knows her, too, since he listens keenly and observes her reactions and learns from those.

Mikasa ended up on top, because, duh. She’s Mikasa. While Eren initiated, she was the one to lead the way and push - she is the one that escalated things further each time. She took the initiative to do so. And Eren - having grown from his smol “ROAR I WANNA BE THE LEADER” phase, and being in love with this woman - is more than okay with her taking the lead. Acceptance is such a huge theme in this fic, and everything in this part is basically him being like, “I’m gonna show my woman how amazing I think she is,” and, “Yeah. My woman is amazing and outshines me in every way. I’m just gonna go on ahead and let her be amazing.”

I remember quite fondly that an anon once asked “when Mikasa would ride Eren into the sunset.” Well, she did, my friend. She did. Which is why I put in details that probably went unnoticed - that the force of her hips when she was in control was basically so powerful that the mattress was curving under him with each thrust (almost like she was trying to imprint his ass into the mattress), and the bed frame was arockin’ with how hard she was riding him.

And you know. Eren taking control at the end and her being okay with it and just going along with it. They’re just super in sync and communicative without saying anything.

And side note - Um. I know there was that whole debacle with Grisha’s diq and Eren’s potentially inherited “endowment”, but idk man. Perhaps length wise he’s not a stunner, but in my mind, and in this fic, he’s a girth guy, hence why Mikasa struggled bit. Okay, listen, don’t judge me, one inevitably thinks of such details when trying to figure out a sex scene over the span of several months you don’t know how much I’ve thought of everything good lord

Anyways - coming back out of this vulgar talk, I know I upped the fluff factor there towards the end. Because I honestly think that’s how they could be, once the ice was broken - once they realized that there was a more pleasant and light dimension to being open and honest with one another, and being able to experience something so special with one another.

I was weary about the ending being too cute - nervous about making Mikasa smile or laugh, but the more I thought of it, the more okay I was with the idea, because, dude she just had sex with Eren Jaeger, guy she has loved since she was a wee little lass, and he is giving her affection and attention and also an orgasm!!!! Of course she’d be over the moon. If there was anything that would be able to make that girl who is normally deadpan begin to tell jokes and smile, it is certainly these things.

Epilogue Summary

I will not be writing it, so here is the summary:

The next day, Eren and Mikasa are having breakfast with Armin, who is giving both of them the eye. They act normal and are essentially back to their old selves, though they both look super sleep deprived. Armin of course throws in a clever line of questioning that makes them both sweat. Even though they evade his questions, Armin passes this specific mug of tea over to Mikasa and tells her to drink it, and Eren asks what it is. Armin doesn’t give a straight answer- gives a shitty excuse and says it’s just to celebrate them making up, specifying it’s for Mikasa only, and Eren asks why he can’t have any, and Armin doesn’t explain, and they get into a cute back and forth (Armin basically telling Eren he was a bitch to Mikasa - in different words of course), but then Eren tries to drink some anyways and Armin’s like “NOOO” and all panicky, then Eren’s like “wtf”. And Armin gets really, really serious and just firmly insists Mikasa drink it.

So, Eren and Mikasa get silent, and Mikasa obeys. While she is drinking, Armin finally says something very quietly, along the lines of, “Mikasa should take it because I’m not ready to be an uncle yet”, causing her to choke on her drink, and causing Eren to shit himself (not literally). Armin implies that the tea is essentially plan b (an idea borrowed from a z.utara fic-“The Sparrowkeet Series” if you’re a fan of the ship, it’s highly recommended-where some sort of tea had this effect), at which Eren and Mikasa turn red and die forever about because 1) Armin knows; 2) they wonder who else knows; 3) Oh my god Armin knows. He mentions that Sasha had told him about them. Armin had actually assumed they were fighting/talking things over/nothing sexy was going down, though Sasha implied there were sexy things happening. Armin did not believe it, so he came by to check on them, and heard moaning, and immediately turned away.

There was going to be more to it, but I never finished thinking it over, since I decided just not to add it on. But there ya go.

Did you really think I would let them have unprotected sex (who knows how many more times after she got him some bread) without thinking of the consequences? Of course I had to think about these things - Mikasa can’t go off getting preg when there’s so much at stake.

Follow Up One-Shot Summary

A reader expressed disappointment that Eren did not say “I love you.”

I wrote this fic knowing that I did not want him to utter the words “I love you”. The entire point of the fic was to show that these words could be communicated through action, and would be understood by both without having to be said. Again - my whole take on Eren is that he has to do this whole new mushy feelings thing in baby steps. Being able to admit these things to himself and show them is huge. He’s an action guy, more than a flowery words guy.

That being said, I originally had planned to write an off-shoot one-shot to follow up the fic. It was going to be super smutty (and knowing me, probably ridiculously long). The plot was centered around Eren finally saying “I love you”, and the weird way it happens. Per above, he’s an action dude. So him SAYING sappy stuff is HUGE. I thought exploring why he felt compelled to say the words, how/why it happened, and making that situation believable, would be interesting to write about. I also wanted to try my hand at writing some lighter stuff, so it was gonna be more comical than dramatic (though I am the number one lover of angst, do not get me wrong).

However, I won’t be writing this anymore, so here is the summary (somewhat M-rated) - He and Mikasa are basically at it like bunnies all the time (typically what happens when you’re freshly in a relationship with the love of your life) and he finds himself distracted because he can’t stop wanting to do stuff with her. So he avoids her for a while, but doesn’t want to talk about it. Then, tired of the same old shit again, Mikasa confronts him about it by dragging him into a closet and pulling his pants down and giving him some amazing head (first time she will have done that, but obvs she’s brilliant at it because she’s Mikasa). Post-BJ, while she is awkwardly drinking water and still sort of annoyed with him for being distant, he stares at her and has this drawn out thought process and suddenly blurts it.

And then more stuff happens. I didn’t get that far in my thought process.

And yeah. That’s it. Part 2 will be up next week.

#touch #eremika

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risysir · 6 years

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wendyOctober 11, 2012 at 12:12 pm ∞Reply

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Timothydean Clark!March 12, 2013 at 6:05 am ∞Reply

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PalenakaMarch 17, 2016 at 6:42 pm ∞

love this post! i think it’s tricky because when someone goes to hit on you at a bar, it’s essentially because they found something about your looks intriguing (and race does play into the way you work, clearly), but why they think a racial pick-up line would work is beyond me.

Fermin GualFebruary 23, 2015 at 11:07 pm ∞Reply

harrysanOctober 13, 2015 at 8:47 pm ∞Reply

I am a Hispanic man, not dark of skin; but not white (far from it). I could relate to the dilema you face. Personally: I like Asian Women, not because they are physically different; but because they are more loyal than 90% of the other women.

wcMay 30, 2015 at 9:42 am ∞

charleyOctober 17, 2015 at 4:01 pm ∞

You like Asian women because “they are more loyal than 90% of the other women.”?

Isn’t this exactly what she is railing against? More loyal then 90% of what other women? You’ve obviously never been to a Thai hostess bar have you?

Way to completely miss the point of the article lol

You mean I should talk to Asian girls just like I would any other girl?

Radical concept……but that’s what you’re saying right?

I moved to Vancouver a number of years ago from hickville Nfld. The only Asians I had seen outside of TV were at a Chinese restaurant 150 miles away. Moving to Vancouver….well….law of averages says I’ll date at least 1 Asian girl….I dated a few actually, and ended up marrying a Japanese girl 13 years ago.

She liked that I didn’t know shit about Japan, or try to relate things to her ethnicity. The fact was, her family had been Canadian for several generations, and mine, only 2. So she was more Canadian than me,

She liked that I didn��t always talk about the fact she was japanese…and she thought my “never give up” attitude towards chopsticks endearing.

Bravo! i love how u’re not only pointing out the issue but also presenting these guys with solutions. In my opinion, these guys simply don’t know what to say, so they pick a characteristic that’s seen right of the bat AND what they presume would be unique and relatable. Except they’re really not that original or appropriate.

Thank you for the tips; I appreciate your candor. I always gravitate towards Asian girls and tend to ask about their specific ethnicity, because I am fascinated by the struggles that Asian-American girls faced growing up in America. The question is not part of my one-line pick ups that I default to in hopes that It will ignite a desire for me. Email me if you’d like to continue this conversation; I’d like pick your brain on this topic.

AradFebruary 15, 2015 at 4:41 pm ∞Reply

Soren Fde HolmOctober 29, 2015 at 1:00 pm ∞Reply

jordieNovember 8, 2015 at 9:22 pm ∞Reply

Can we go on a date

So fucking what? you can get past most of woman’s bullchit simply by NOT caring what they think. 4.3 billion asian people in the world . half are woman. thinking about what she like or don’t like is the first mistake you make while approaching a woman.Just move on ;)

GOD THIS IS A SAD ATTEMPT LOL

Thanks Chin for your advice i’ll try it out soon and see where it gets me although i’m one of those guys unfortunately who find all Asian women simply irresistible and desirable and I melt in there presence. I’m a warm hearted and very pollite guy but get lost at first base. Incidentally got any girlfriends in Sydney Australia I could practice with. Love the colour of your hair in the pic above you look a bit clique but none the less amazing.

I like how the last two comments are guys trying to act interested so they can hit on you or a friend.

dailychinupsNovember 25, 2013 at 12:54 pm ∞Reply

Ha yep. They help prove my point so I leave those comments on here.

Jskuu1November 22, 2015 at 2:00 pm ∞

“Yea e-mail me so i can pick your brain as well!!!” Bwahahahahahahahahahahahah…. my first comment about guys not shouldnt use racial pickup lines and that being common sense, yea i take that back!!!’ Most guys have no clue what to say so they say the first thing that pops in to their head and don’t even think if it is offensive, racist, or even tasteful. Reading some of these comments deff give guys a bad name all over… but they are deff entertaining

So this is a white girl in an Asian body, lost count on them a while back. In general some girls are worth talking while the rest are over decorated feces. The reason why out of every 100 girls one talks to only 15% are good candidates lol.

dailychinupsNovember 25, 2013 at 12:53 pm ∞Reply

Don’t pretend like you know me, and how dare you call me a white girl. It must be fun for you to hide cowardly behind an anonymous account and leaving hateful comments on the internet for people who try to provide helpful genuine points of view and share a piece of their real opinions.

Your dumb comments just serve as evidence why I felt like I needed to write articles on this subject.

“So this is an ignorant internet bully, disguised as an expert on the subject. Lost count on them a while back. In general, some people are worth my time while the rest are haters with no lives.”

JohnDecember 4, 2013 at 4:53 pm ∞

JayDecember 5, 2013 at 6:00 pm ∞

dailychinupsDecember 9, 2013 at 11:30 am ∞

JayMarch 23, 2014 at 5:53 pm ∞

dailychinupsMarch 24, 2014 at 7:45 am ∞

JayMarch 24, 2014 at 7:29 pm ∞

mikeMay 25, 2015 at 4:59 am ∞

JamesNovember 22, 2015 at 2:14 pm ∞

Nothing wrong with being white. But I can see why you’re offended

I didn’t pretend to know anything about you, you easily gave that away.

” Your dumb comments just serve as evidence why I felt like I needed to write articles on this subject.”

No, you do this because you have nothing else going and vent your frustrations here online for others to comment and critique. Nothing coward about that or it seems you can’t face criticism and only expect positive feedback to make yourself feel justified.

I don’t see were I put expert in my original post ( You made that up) Ignorant? Please specify Internet bully? I just gave you the flip side on your article in a fraction of the size

Haters with no lives? First I don’t have a reason to hate you or hate on you, second yes I do have a very busy life style. (see how long it took me to reply back to you?) So you just enjoy the rest of the day :)

Honey, I took 2 months to reply to your first comment. I think it’s time you learn some basic math. http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2013-10/enhanced/webdr05/24/13/anigif_enhanced-buzz-7251-1382635074-27.gif

You are not cute and can’t act cute I have talked to women with more common sense and look beyond what your limited thoughts bring out of you.

I’m going to borrow the wise words of Erin Gloria Ryan a writer from Jezebel here: “You may not agree with a woman, but to criticize her appearance — as opposed to her ideas or actions — isn’t doing anyone any favors, least of all you. Insulting a woman’s looks when they have nothing to do with the issue at hand implies a lack of comprehension on your part, an inability to engage in high-level thinking. You may think she’s ugly, but everyone else thinks you’re an idiot.”

¿Ugly? ¿Idiot? Well anyone has and will be doing idiotic things from time to time, all humans do that (you are no exception). But far from that you are now being childish and stupid, it seems you have very big issues and take it to heart when your views are placed into question. Your responses are nothing more but desperate moves to make yourself think you are on top, who are you really kidding? Yourself? You enjoy your evening.

Dear: You should not even feed into that negativity….. pls don’t stoop to their level!!! I’m very attracted to Asian women and I find myself at lost for words to strike a conversation so I just don’t say anything and I know its my loss if you don’t have nothing nice to say to people….. then don’t say anything!!!!!

Way to keep a cool head… don’t let assholes stop you from you from writing on any topics with genuine intentions… and im from Phiily so Im not saing these things to get into your pants… you just seem like a helpful, caring person and i wouldnt wanna see retarded assholes change the way you are or stop you from trying to help people or writing on any topic that you have genuine feelings toward for fear of what a few immature or ignorant idiots that like to hide behind keyboards

Why would you help the dumbasses pick up girls your interfering with a possible upward trend in the gene pools. Jkin there’s really now way to predict shifts in prevalent traits / attitudes but I r bored.

Hi, i live in Norway, i have a chinese girlfreind (in china) i have traveled there several times, month away 6 weeks home, you only get one 30 day visa at a time, I fell very in love with her beacause she is great kind and wonderfull person, nothing else, any girl can be this, not matter her racial origins, it is so wrong to make rude remarks to a nice girl and try to pick her up with lewd comments about ethnic origins, this auther is too kind to explain to the idiots what they are doing wrong,

Michael PriceFebruary 15, 2015 at 6:18 am ∞Reply

Hi, how did you meet your girlfriend, and howbased is best way to meet a lovely Chinese girl when I’m London based?

Michael PriceFebruary 15, 2015 at 6:38 am ∞

Sorry for the poor English grammar

So my boyfriend confessed to me that he likes the fact I’m Asian, because he thinks that Asian girls are raised to be and better at keeping themselves fit and healthy. He points to the fact that I’m always conscious about eating enough green veggies and not afraid of trying other weird-looking dishes. At the same time, I’m not going to starve myself. We met each other at a dance club, which keeps us both pretty active.

I wonder what you think of this stereotype? Is there some truth to it or is it just as aggravating as the other “Giants-fan” stereotypes you go into detail in your Yellow Fever article on bolditalic? And what would you think and say about the man who admits these prejudices?

dailychinupsNovember 25, 2013 at 12:46 pm ∞Reply

Hi Rhea,

I mean it sounds like your boyfriend just likes you for who you are. You are healthy, fit, and adventurous not because you’re Asian. You just are. Being Asian is definitely a big and important part of our identity. Why shouldn’t your boyfriend like that you’re Asian?

My main issues with Yellow Fever are when men expect certain behavior/personality out of Asian girls, and then they get mad when we aren’t like that, or when they don’t spend the time and effort to get to know and understand Asian women as unique individuals. Your boyfriend doesn’t sound like he does either of those things to me.

I think it’s healthy that he admits his preferences to you openly. He’s not trying to hide anything from you. Unless he makes gross generalizations about Asian women or force you to act a certain way, I wouldn’t worry about it.

Thanks for leaving this thoughtful comment!

P.S. I love dancing too! :)

EliApril 28, 2015 at 3:30 pm ∞

Hello, I think you shirked it with Rhea…. Why?

” So my boyfriend confessed to me that he likes the fact I’m Asian, because he thinks that Asian girls are raised to be and better at keeping themselves fit and healthy. He points to the fact that I’m always conscious about eating enough green veggies and not afraid of trying other weird-looking dishes”

That is a silly utterance and a self serving one from her boyfriend! So only Asian girls eat healthily and are best at keeping themselves healthy? I completely disagree. I like Asian girls but it is not due to them being healthier than other races or being fitter, nope, they most certainly are not :) That fella displays a serious case of jaundice.

If I was in the market for a girlfriend, I’d simply travel to Asia. I’m there most of the time and I like the fact that the girls there lack the baggage and insecurities that weighs down British Asian girls or Asian Americans etc. An example of this is BBC, ABC, CBC?

I hasten to add colour does not come into it but you stand accused of not dealing the brothers in :)

twinkie

dailychinupsDecember 9, 2013 at 11:27 am ∞Reply

Of course, any Asian Americans who speak out against Asian American stereotyping must be a twinkie because there’s no way that Asian Americans are unique individuals just like everyone else, right? http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2013-10/enhanced/webdr01/24/11/anigif_enhanced-buzz-4532-1382629227-29.gif

Hi, I live in The Netherlands and I am myself also from Asia. To be specifically from Indonesia. I am now a woman though, so I cannot talk from experience what you describe. I have been living here all my life , I was adopted when I was 4 months old. I have a brother and sister that were adopted too from the same city where I was born, but they have different biological parents. Your story is really great in that it shows how stupid American guys can be. Here in my country people are very open-minded and they tend to look inside the person rather than the outside. Dutch men are in general interested in other people when they found out, especially when they have contact with them for a longer time, for example at work. My experience is that Asian people in Europe, but certainly in my country have no hard time about what you describe. Of course, there are guys like you describe, but they are really a big minority. Nowadays its harder te be from muslim origin than from Asian origin.

I find nothing bad about men trying to pick you up in such way.First of all, the path to the girls pants is the main target,and there is no single way for it. Some asian girls find it racist if they attract white boys because they are asian. The other will tell you that you are an ass…ole because you don’t appreciate their cultural background. And so on. The point is it is wrong to use such cheap pickups, and it is also wrong to judge guys in such way. Maybe he was shy and didn’t know what to tell you,so he uses the old way. When I go to Asia, I am not offenden when girls approach me just because I am white or have money. If somebody wants my buritto, then I don’t care about the reason they like me and why they approach me in this way,as long as I like that person.

P.s michael Man, we will see how you talk in a year or 3, after you are divorced and broke. And your girlfriend is hanging out with Sebastian de la guerta on Hawaii )).

I don’t see what is so wrong or offensive about an Asian guy wanting to know your exact ethnicity. I do it all the time and the Asian girls I ask don’t mind it. Be proud of whatever ethnicity you are, and that question won’t bother you anymore.

Ni hao ma? Means “how are you?” not hi lol

dailychinupsMarch 20, 2014 at 9:02 am ∞Reply

I’m fluent in Mandarin and Traditional Chinese, so thanks for the unnecessary lesson.

the guy who said “another white girl stuck in an Asian girl body” was spot on. you are an Asian girl who wants to be a white American chick. why deny it? and you all have a sick fetish for white dudes…why is that not wrong for you? oh it is just a “preference” come on…admit your shit too.

dailychinupsMarch 20, 2014 at 9:07 am ∞Reply

Stop putting words in my mouth that I never said. You don’t know me but if you read my other blog entries or author info, you’d see that I am not “trying to be white American” and I do not have a “fetish for white dudes.” What laughable ideas.

Why don’t you admit that you’re an internet bully who thinks he has the right to make rude and judgmental comments without bothering to really read my writings?

haha…you call everyone who calls you out a “internet bully”. jeesus. really?

dailychinupsMarch 20, 2014 at 5:19 pm ∞Reply

You said “you all have a sick fetish for white dudes” about Asian American women. I’m out in the open writing about my real personal experiences on the Internet with my full name, background, contact info, and pictures associated with my identity. Meanwhile, you hide cowardly behind just one first name and an e-mail address making negative sweeping generations about me and women supposedly just like me. That is what internet bullies do. Look it up because I’m not going to waste any more time on you.

“generations”? or generalizations? wow..every ignorant brat have a blog now. smh

nameless internet bullyMarch 23, 2014 at 10:25 am ∞Reply

wow

I just had to comment on this. I LOVE LOVE LOVE your post!!! ;) I can honestly say that most men won’t change. It seems that it just seems to get worse and worse every year as well as the new generations do not understand what chivalry is anymore.

I also believe that these knuckleheads that speak to girls these ways are kinda on the cocky/confident side. If cat calling is something lots of guys do in your area, then you just have to blame the girls who gravitate to that type of behavior. After all, if it works on a few girls, then why not try it on all girls?

I have seen how girls flock to these types of guys which make it hard for a nice guy who actually has respect for girls, to approach them. I tested this out while I was a bit younger. I found that being nice doesn’t always attract the attention of girls. I usually have a habit of holding doors open for people and well…this one time, a girl said “I can do that myself!”. Umm, I said, “sorry, I just saw your hands full”. I still do nice things for people, but I was told that I was looked weak for doing this. When I acted a bit cocky, I saw that girls looked at me different. It was pretty sad and well, I don’t like to be with those types of girls who are attracted to jerks.

I guess overall, people are entitled to give their opinion. We’re all raised differently…so just prepare for the worst and hope for the best out of each person…right? ;) Best of luck to you girls who are having these issues. Maybe one day you should tell a guy off for cat calling? It might just give him some food for thought. ;)

JayApril 11, 2014 at 4:05 pm ∞Reply

Yes you are forever to be friend zoned and whipped.

I don’t understand this but it really depends on the girl. some girls like to be complimented on their breast and butt. some like when you tell them your cleavage looks awesome on that dress. And it doesn’t necessarily has to be an Asian woman, it can be any woman in general. and honestly why bother posting something to advice guy on how to pick up girls?. women should know by now that they will always get hit by guys in any way possible, it is nature if a guy looks at your ass or breast or your entire body in general it doesn’t mean he is a creep. It simple means that he is sexually attracted to you in ever possible way and obviously will try to get in your pants, which is normal.

Now that being said, you can’t discard this man simple by the way he looks at you, give him a chance.. unless he is a completely ugly ball of hair, then I understand, but I had been in many situations in which I like this woman and only one stare accidentally at their ass or breast they dismiss you completely. even though they don’t know your motives yet. So then she goes and tells her friends that I am some kind of creep because I looked at her improper. Excuse me?… what is a proper way of looking a woman then?, guess what… there isn’t. its called sexual attraction there is no love sort of speak, every relationship between a woman and a man will always end up in sex which is procreation, that ensure the survival of our species. but most woman nowadays, have come up with the most stupid arguments against man. don’t get me wrong, not every woman is like that but in my personal experience, it seems that woman is turning into this callous iron shell of creature that judges man improperly.

Again.. no man is a creep ladies, if a man is looking at you so bad that it bothers you, don’t blame him. blame his sexual instinct, sometimes this excitement can’t be stopped, sexual urge is difficult to conceal or relieve. if a man its “creeping” at you it just means his instincts are being triggered by nature.

Interesting topic, I love Asian people in general, they have many of the manners the west has forgotten, but as a western male, i think if you really like the people and you want to meet Asian Women, then you will meet them without having to try to pick them up, they will gravitate to you, if they find you interesting. if they do, be interested in them, and don’t push, and don’t act like you’re the best looking guy in the jungle and maybe the worst Scenario is that you end up with a friend who will make you much happier than you could ever wish

Well i don’t have any of these problems. lol Can i get some advice on how to handle anti-American parents? I really am at a loss for that.

Hi my name is edward,i just read your page i think it would realy help me in the long run,up till now i didnt know what to say to my friend who is all so asain now i understand that it dont matter what race she is as long as i treat her like a human bean and not a peace of meat she might be in to me.thanks again it mean so much to me even if i have no idea of who you are your words were a Bigg help opening my might to all posibilitys.

Lol just read my comment also and mind instead of might lol once again thanx:)

Chin is right on the money here with some simple, sensible, non-confrontational ways of showing an interest in ANYONE regardless of race, sex or any other particular trait. And that’s the point that many seem to miss. Just treat everyone the same – and don’t be overtly forward when introducing yourself, it won’t impress anyone.

Focusing on one particular external characteristic without knowing a person somewhat demonstrates a lack of credibility and imagination. Judging by looks alone will only get you so far. If that’s as far as you want to go, then good luck. If you genuinely are looking to meet new interesting people and maybe even a partner then take her advice and take a little time to really understand why their personality, character, behaviour and ALL aspects of appearance spark your interest. It’ll make conversation all the easier.

It’s worth that little effort.

I found this site off a Google search trying to get pointers on how to pick up Asian women. (I find Asian women unbelievably beautiful.) Why do I need pointers? Because it seems like Asian women don’t dig me. (I’m Hispanic.) I don’t hit on them and I don’t try to pick them up. Rather, all my interactions with them consists of my dealing with an Asian woman working at a Korean cafe or restaurant. I’m friendly, they’re friendly, but I always get the impression I’d strike out if I tried flirting with a Chinese or Japanese woman. Maybe one day I’ll summon up the courage to ask one out on a date.

I don’t understand why the “ni hao ma” line was inappropriate. Since it was another Asian guy perhaps he was Chinese and since you are Asian perhaps he was guessing that you spoke Mandarin. If someone says “How are you” or “Que pasa” they are just trying to start a conversation……

I did like reading your page, although at the end day, you should have said that guys who want to date asian women, should just be themselves as in dating any other woman, not to try to be something they are not.

I have been in two relationships with asian women one born Malaysia, educated in England the other born in the US, educated again educated England, both of them employed in English Healthcare.

I was just myself when I met these two women, I didn’t try to relate to their asian backgrounds, as western guy I would be out my depth if I tried, thats for learning later in the relationship.

What attracted me to them, mainly it was their smiles, the first wasn’t a so call online thing, it was a face to face, we worked in same place, we joke around for a while then it just happen.

The second was online thing, again facial attraction more than anything, we were just being ourselves, I’m not most attractive guy in the world, but its what you say that counts and that relates to any woman at the end day.

Although I did fall for both these women, behind their sweet smiles, they are very driven women, who can be very straight to the point and not to mention controlling of their men. So beware guys!

How about this angle. You say racism is always inappropriate? How about the fact that u didn’t include black males. I am a guy who REALLY doesn’t care what colour the girl I date is so I believe I have the moral authority to speak on this. You know this to be true. A lot of Asian women hold HUUUUGE racist attitudes and are unbelievable scornful of black men. They often feel by trash talking black guys with there Asian friends and white friends that they elevate their social status some how. It makes them feel very western and very white. Now Asian women that like guys are JUST INTO BLACK GUYS AND BLACK CULTURE. I DARE YOU TAKE A POLE OF 100 Asian women and watch their reaction it will either be EEWWWAH! Or U’ll see the minorety that real dig black men. Look into ur heart and examine urself. U may not like what u’ll find . Not saying ur racist but IM JUST SAYIN!

TedApril 13, 2015 at 9:55 am ∞Reply

*I meant Asian women that like black men JUST LIKE BLACK MEN AND ARE INTO BLACK CULTURE ( which is not homogeneous btw )

You prove my point to the letter my friend. One of the ugliest aspects of racism is exclusion. Could u not intelligently respond to my points? I said these things because I was informed of this from YES my Asian girlfriends in the past. They have sat in some of these hateful, scornful and stereotypical discussions about black males.

Thank you for sharing your perspective, and you make some good points, but TBH your “treat me like any other American” stance has a some sticking points that you need to be careful on, and I would love to hear your opinion on them. First, barring that he’s made any crossing-the-line type statements, if a guy actually has GENUINE interest in the language or culture stemming from your ethnicity, then why is it a problem? As long as it’s NOT the ONLY piece of your individuality he appreciates, it shouldn’t be; diversity is a beautiful thing in this world. But just as racism doesn’t have any place, nor does unjustifiably assuming things. All in all, in the name of fairness, just bringing it up that you’re Asian shouldn’t be an immediate deterrent. Next, I think we can all agree that simply asking where you’re from is fine. I ask that question to just about everyone I meet. It’s the asking where you’re REALLY from that, understandably so, annoys. But how about asking if you can speak another language? Irritating as it may be to you or other Asians with the same mentality, that’s a perfectly reasonable question too. And if you do speak Chinese or Korean, there shouldn’t be any reason not to express it. My point is that even though your mindset is such that revealing your ethnicity has no place or relevance in flirting, please don’t let past experiences or emotions get the best of you. You should never HAVE to shy away from who you are. It wouldn’t correlate with being proud that your Asian. Lastly, and to sum up, what you said is true, “We all just unique human beings trying to find some love in this world.” But sometimes WE can’t choose what’ll stimulate our interest or attraction, and that may very well include you being Asian. In maintaining your perspective/stance, you have to realize that there is definitely a line, and until your suitor crosses it, you gotta be fair to. It’s the only way you can expect to be treated fairly.

This post is a few years old now and I’m not sure of the likelihood of you reading this, but I just wanted to say a few things in response, hopefully not to be taken as mean hearted.

I could not speak of the nature of the original intention of this post, that would be foolish to attempt to know that. However, it seems that the purpose is less to give advice and more to scold men. I would like to point out that if women had the need to flirt; the use of fumbling, idiotic and cringe worthy tactics for pick up would absolutely be used. The fact is the vast majority of women simply need to accept a free drink and giggle. As a rule of thumb many women hate excessively being hit on. I get it. But some facts of life need to be accepted, and the sooner the better. And how would someone know that a woman has been getting hit on a lot? Should guys ascertain by the level of beauty that a woman has hit the proverbial ceiling limit? It is a bit bothersome that you never explicitly outlined as to why your ex was “missing the point” when he stated basically that shitty people are shitty people? As a matter of fact; that is the single most undying, relentless, unwavering, most true and steadfast notion there could ever be while living a human life. There will be a day when all of that wanted or unwanted attention will be turned off in your life forever. Again, it’s just life.

Life or the planet as a whole is not made a better place by opinion blogs (nor are responses to them, I understand that). The course of evolution will not take a quantum leap through awareness. It simply does not work that way. [Actually, I don’t fully believe that. If every human on a planet all had the same beautiful balanced image of peace in their minds eye at exactly the same moment, brain power connectivity might actually do something globally transcendent and unbelievably wonderful.]

If someone went up to an attractive black woman and asked her if she would like to go to KFC with them, that person is what we call “stupid”. Inept. Socially incapable. They are fools in every aspect of life, and they multiply much faster than capable, respectful people. Again, this must be realized soon, or choose to forego a night destination that is 100% guaranteed to have these people.

There are worse things in life than being hit on, even if it is A LOT. Being pretty is a tough life isn’t it? If I were asked if it hurt when I fell from ivory heaven (said in some kind of a way that was clearly meant to be harmless) every 8 minutes, every day of my life, the flattery felt would never truly die. Too bold to say, since there is no way for me to experience it until I am reborn as a curvy 10? Well, I am an adult and I know when to not shit on people’s good intentions, no matter how ill progressed that person’s frontal lobe is. Seems ironic after reading this novella though right?

I’m glad that some people got some good stuff out of your post, honestly. Hopefully that will continue. I wrote what I felt, even if the sentiments aren’t shared are even read.

Oh, and I know that you don’t like anonymous keyboard warriors so I will sign in with my FB account. Feel free to drop by.

Pretty cool notes. And we get front row seats to some of the examples . Haha. I’m terrible with with women, maybe because I lack confidence , but I guess I make up for it in courage . It’s pretty obvious why I am on this page. So thanks for being in the right place at the right time. That’s why I love asian girl . They are always on time. Lol. So many references can be made from that. Lol jk.

Stumbled across this article while searching information on a recent attack on a girl on a Sydney train, intrigued I read the article, was shocked and thought you were overgeneralizing people’s stupidity – then I read the comments. Guys trying to pick up in the comments section of an article describing their goofiness.

Ah, this life. So beautiful.

Hahaha another dumb bitch trying to get a date using a blog and its sad this bitch is a retarded white bitch in a Asian body haha when will these desperate hoes learn well all bitches are the same y’all hoes need to be put in a big ass cage and sent to a unknown island p.s u make us Asians look bad

i know you said not to say it…. but really you are beautiful

11:21pm I should be sleeping but this blog is retardedly funny. Few comments.

A) Internet has made us all dumber. B) Guys will always be weird perverted human beings. It’s in our genetic code. I’m one of them! C) Who ever writes in this blog has most likely an interest in Asian women. Thus this is a biased population sample and no statistican interpretation and is valid and no generalization can be made. D) B + C means that some guys like tall, some guys like short, black, white,big boob, small boob, skinny, curvy, asian, mixed, native american (I’ve never heard anyone talking about Eskimo girls btw, so sad face for them I guess) etc. For example, I most likely have some brain cell programming that makes me like short skinny asian girls, because in my eyes they look attractive and young, so who cares, whatever. E) who ever hates her(the author) point of view, you still contribute to her blog by increasing her traffic and valuation so the joke is on you/us.

Bottom line, here is my humble opinion. I don’t believe any guy who says that they like Asian women because they “behave” and “treat them nice”. Go marry an ugly/fat/old redneck woman. She will treat you like a prince. (I have nothing against ugly/fat/old redneck women so don’t jump on me because first of all you admit you are ugly/fat/old and second of all I’m ugly fat old for some girls out there). We are superficial. We need to satisfy our vision after all and go with something that is visually appealing.

PS saying we are proud to be Asian / American / Italian / white / black / smurf / is kinda silly. We didn’t do anything for it, we were just born that way. We should be proud for things we achieve and put some effort into.

After writting all this I am sure I’ve contributed nothing to this world ha ha.

BradenJuly 26, 2015 at 6:05 am ∞Reply

Haha I agree. extremely late on the original post. I found this topic because I seen a pretty girl I tried to talk to. Her primary language was madrain she only spoke to me in English, but I was having a hard time understanding her accent was looking for help about it. But every comment section is exatly the same on this topic for any post even though the posts differ slightly. They have good information about culture. Yes American is a culture and it differs by area to. I like your thoughts on this topic. I laughed when I read the part about people thinking you where dressing as an anime. My first thought was street fighter to be honest. Nothing to do with race but gave me a smile after thinking about it. Figured I’d put my 2 cents on on this topic.

What if there is someone in the world that really just wants to be in love with someone?

I am looking for a nice beautiful asian girl what talent with personality is so humor and outgoing nice go out to have fun but get to know that person and she did to me to get to know me I am a man looking for a beautiful asian girl is very kind very sweet and talented I like to go out diner clubbing walking movies walking sure everything else to possibly leave if I give me the girl feel good and comfortable make her understand me me understand her see how life goes by beautiful asian girls are beautiful they are create in mind of everything that’s the type of person I am looking for please get back to me and let me know what you think my name is full dangelo I’m from Philly Pennsylvania I am 15 years old of age 55 on 35 pounds medium built or working man in my life for last 32 years and I’m looking for somebody right now in awhile for me for the one with someone but if it’s you I hope I catch a ride with you to see how things go I hope you get back to me it seemed like going to picture of this photo is seem like you are very beautiful girl I like to me thank you

I usually find that starting a pleasant conversation with a woman of any race will open the door for you and if she’s into you shell give you signs that she is and if not well you just talked to a beautiful woman so good for you

Hello. This blog may be dead but I thought I’s a comment anyway as I have a perspective different from other posters.

I’m a Caucasian American expatriate who has worked in Greater China (HK and Taiwan) for over 10 years. My spoken and written Chinese is highly proficient.

I’ve travelled extensively all over the world. Meeting women of any ethnicity has always been easy for me. Simply be confident and make the other person smile and hopefully laugh (with you, not at you). Be aggressive without being creepy. Be a good and active listener. Be positive and upbeat. Be polite and move on if she’s not interested. It’s very easy and no special skills are required to meet a Chinese / Japanese/ Korean/ etc. woman as opposed to a Lithuanian / Panamanian etc. woman. I’ve dated them all.

I agree with most of the author’s advice. For example, it’s thuggish and abusive for a guy to approach an Asian woman and say “I like Asian chicks because they are tight.” I’d probably drop any guy who said that to an Asian female friend of mine. But a blog shouldn’t be necessary to explain that. I think the author is right that avoiding remarks about ethnicity INITIALLY is the right move, but after you’ve spoken for awhile it should be fine.

I think the author is overally sensitive, however, about certain things. I’m in a tiny minority of Caucasians living in Taipei, and people here–men and women–frequently ask me about my nationality, ethnicity and family heritage shortly after meeting me. I’m not offended, although I’m disappointed in women who tell me they will ONLY date white guys, or are most interested in Americans, etc. This is extremely superficial and not a mark of intelligence.

I really don’t understand the author’s hang-up about being asked her cultural heritage. Asians in Asia do it to Caucasians ALL THE TIME. It’s an icebreaker. In my experience, Chinese / Taiwanese who get pissed about being asked if they are Korean have racist feelings toward Koreans.

I also think the author’s anger at the Asian guy (probably ethnic Chinese) who said “Ni hao” to her is hard to understand. When I happen to stumble on another Caucasian foreigner in Taipei, I’ll usually smile and say “hello”. I’d be shocked if any Caucasian (or Taiwanese, for that matter) would be angered because I didn’t say 你好 in Chinese. I can say with certainty that the Chinese and Taiwanese guys I know would consider the author very rude if she expressed anger at them for daring to speak in Chinese, since she herself is ethnic Chinese.

MarkDecember 4, 2015 at 5:04 am ∞Reply

I agree with you completely. I’m a mixed origin westerner who spent most his adult life in Taiwan and the PRC, but I did live in SF Chinatown for a year. Most people there were Cantonese speakers with maybe 1/3 also speaking Mandarin and much fewer speaking English.

My first time in the laundromat on Waverly st., I saw all the clothes washing powder machines were out of order. So I asked a 20 something woman there “唔該, 洗衣粉賣在哪裡？” and she totally lost her shit at me for speaking Chinese. About 10 seconds into that, a woman who looked about 70 walked over from another washing machine and told me the machine was always broken and pointed down the street telling me where I could buy some. I thanked her and started to leave to buy some detergent and the younger woman looked dumbstruck and said something like “oh, you want detergent…”

She could actually understand Chinese, but thought I was flirting with her and just went into attack mode without even thinking! Even when I got back with the detergent and was loading my clothes into the machine, she still asked why I spoke Chinese and I actually had to pull out my TW ID card before she let it drop. Honestly, I think she was the one with racial prejudices and she’d never have done that if I’d been 華僑.

Fortunately, I didn’t meet that kind of aggressive person often, but it did happen more than once in SF. In Asia, people often make all kinds of racial assumptions about me (like being stupid or unable to use chopsticks or lazy) but at least they aren’t openly hostile at me for just trying to communicate with them in my best guess of what our common language is. Even a hyper nationalist Beijinger is better that IMHO.

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala

Race is non-existent. There is only one “race:” and it’s called the human race.

There may be different tribes. Or customs. Or skin color differences. But there is no such thing as racism.

Just tribalism.

And – ALL women get hit on. Asian women sometimes forget this. And guys are dumb.

So there ya go.

wow, you seem a stuck up asian girl, and you aint that hot anyways, aussie asian girls dont have a inferiority complex like you do,,, get over it……..I think youre exaggerating about how many guys actually hit on you

So here are my general guidelines for straight single men trying to talk to ANY WOMAN you’re physically and or psychologically drawn to:

Compliment her on her looks or outfit but be specific without being creepy. The words “You’re so hot/gorgeous/beautiful” are so overused and trite, but you might be the first guy to tell her “I really like your modern haircut” or “Your necklace is really cool” this month. Just don’t cross the line over to sexual like “Your ass/cleavage looks amazing in that dress.” Smile and say something along the line of “Hey, how’s it going? My name is _______.” Observe her behavior for a while and try to find something relevant to say or ask or joke about. For example, if she’s watching a sports game, ask for her predictions of how it will turn out. If she’s waiting to order a drink at your neighborhood bar, ask her if she has had your favorite drink there yet. Joking around is always good provided that she shares your sense of humor.

^Call bullshit on this LOL. Also, I agree with others, your shit only works with gay looking white guys. I’m sorry, but I’ve tried all these on over 50 Asian women online. And they start to lose interest after 10 minutes in a convo. Clearly mental cases around lol.

Also, the problem is not with men. The problem is with you Asian women being overly sensitive and way too fucking picky. Why are men easy to talk to and not easily offended? Why do we have to follow guidelines to talk to women? This is dumb.

Hi Chin. I’m not going to hit on you, so you can let out a little “Phew!” right about now. I fell in love recently in Tay Ninh, with the sweetest, most decent, funniest, sharpest-minded girl in the world. I plan to spend the rest of my life with her, and she with me; right now we’ll live in Vietnam, but neither of us knows the future, other than that ours must be together.

I spent 4 months of 2015 in Barcelona, Spain. I hit on dozens of girls there, most of them Oriental (I’m British, btw, so “Asian” has a different meaning to us: most Russians are Asian, as are most Turks, all Pakistanis and over a billion other folks whom the average American would be confused to hear me allude to as “Asian”). I had an on-off-on again-off again gf in Bcn who was Chinese. I dated and got toyed with or rejected by plenty of Koreans (they tend not to use compass points in their nationalities, though, for sure, none of them was a northerner), Chinese girls Singaporeans and, inevitably Spaniards and South Americans.

Here’s the thing, Chin. Not once did I ever ask where any new person I met was from, much less where they were “really” from. And I always used to playfully respond to that meaningless, dull question with: “I never divulge that kind of information on a first date. So, anyway, what is your earliest childhood memory?”. Either that or, as you sagely advise here, I would ask them to tell me more about X sport that I knew they were into, or their experienced backpacking in Y city which they’d told me they had just visited prior to Bcn, and so forth.

I’m amazed, disgusted and disappointed in equal measure at how ubiquitous the casual racism you talk about seems to be; and I’m astounded that any guy expects to endear himself to the focus of his desire by “noticing” and remarking on such alienating banalities. But I did notice skillless “charmers” getting lucky regardless, all the time. And it was (forgive the racist stereotype, please, Chin!), usually a lanky, golden-haired Australian with a surfboard under his arm who would take home, on any given evening, the pretty girl whom I’d invested an hour or more of my evening in making giggle and making feel good about her lovely, very uniquely wonderful self.

So, laudible and worthwhile as your observations and inducations are, there’s a certain kind of man, and a certain kind of woman, who are so impenetrably superficial that, well, stupid “egg-fried rice” quips and such like will always be ok for them.

I know this sounds disappointing. But your experience, too, must surely confirm the reality in what I’m telling you, right?

All Asian women are beautiful, and no, i’m not here to pick anyone up… i just wish i lived in Japan, I like love their culture, plus i love hearing about their history because American history is so boring and depressing… my dream girl is Asian and im holding out for her.. im gonna start saving up for Rosetta Stone, just to make that 1st effort toward finding her

This is one ugly girl.

Woah this was really interesting to read! I’m a blonde Caucasian female and I get hit on a lot too but not in a way that’s racist! I agree I think its a huge double standard. I guess I can’t speak for all Caucasian girls but for me, I’ve never really had a lot of people ask me questions about race. I think the furthest its ever come was “Are you into black guys?” which is a question I’ve only gotten twice from a white guy and the other time was a white/Asian guy. Wow I also just wanna say you’re super pretty! I’m not half as pretty as you but I understand your pain of creepy guys coming onto you 24/7. But damn! I still cant believe guys constantly bring your race into it that’s just stupid. Especially the “you know my ex was Asian” line… that’s gotta be one of the worst ive ever heard.

Hi! I’m a Chinese girl who moved from China and I don’t get offended at any of the things you mentioned. People think we are more traditional because most Chinese are and it IS part of our culture. And asking someone where they are from is not offensive to me. I love to know where people’s from and get to know more about them. Even if you are from SF, know what ethnicity you are helps start conversations and getting to know your background! I know I’m interested in where people’s from or where ur family is from. I usually ask about ur background from another country because I find another culture interesting. Hell, my ex boyfriend was blonde and his grandpa was nazis. But of course, I’m missing the point. The point is, to me at least, you might be sensitive on a lot of issues. I think most people are not intentional racists. They just more into certain type of girl.

First of all, THANK YOU! Secondly, yeah I know this is an old post but whatever…

I can relate. I’m not Asian. I’m not female…but I can relate. I am hispanic, mexican, chicano, latino…pick your favorite one…that’s me (just please don’t label me Spanish!!!). I refer to myself as an American of Mexican heritage, I was born in Cali, my parent (yes that’s singular) she was also born in Cali, but whatever.

I work in a corporate environment for a big global tech company and I’ve experienced countless comments, questions from “well-meaning” peers, biz partners, etc.. It’s unfortunate that race gets shoved into just about every social aspect of our lives. I’ve lost count of how many times people have asked me about how to cook some Mexican dish…it’s like “…dude, I don’t even know, like…my grandma didn’t even make that!”.

So back to my sincere thanks to you – I mean it. I too am guilty of being attracted to Asian girls. And I too have fumbled about trying to smooth talk my way into their hearts, and it can be hard to find something to break the ice with. Sometimes my stupid pick up lines work, other times not so much but my point is that I appreciate the time you took to make a point about using race. I never really thought that I would ever make someone feel the way my peers at work have sometimes made me feel, especially towards someone that I am trying to get “romantical” with.

Oh and for the record, I don’t like Asians because of some weirdo 18th century idea that all Asian women are conservative, THEY ARE NOT! Or that they are all extra “tight” (lol ewww) they are all not that either. For me it’s mostly because I grew up in a diverse population and had mostly Asian or hispanic friends and so if I see an Asian girl coming my way then I’ll inevitably turn into George McFly – not smooth.

-Edgar

As a white American male whom is attracted by the Asian female I didn’t get much from this… All I can say I got from this is don’t use racial stereotypes when hitting on Asian females which, to me anyways, is common sense when hitting on any race of females, lol. But I guess from your previous encounters the guys hitting on you didn’t have much common sense… Then again common sense isn’t that common anymore this day and age!!!

This article is complete bullshit. First Asian women predominately like white & Asian man.. very rare you see them with black & hispanic. They’re just as racist because they tend to date lightskin males culturally, only thing that makes them different from whites iare they don’t have the Sepremacist title in their history. And Asiam women overall are just weird, unappealing women, men only find them exotic because they look so different from anyone else…but if you take out the face they just crazy, shallow, dumb bitches.

Wow you are so into yourself!! Lame girl.

I really enjoyed the tips u have provided and can only hope to muster up the strength to one day be able to express how I would really love to kiss her cute eyes n run my fingers thru your silky smooth hair to wake every morning to say Wo Ani to you and only you as a Hispanic 1/2 Puerto Rican 1/2 Dominican Republic, born in Brooklyn New York raised in Miami Florida it’s so challenging to me to be fortunate enough to be able to truly find my Asian queen wish I knew where to find you now that I have return to my native state of New York.

I like Asian girls because of the shape of their eyes and usually their high cheekbone. I mean I like Asian girls because I think they’re more beautiful. Am I pervert or sick? For the rest I think they’re just like every other girl, no fried rice nor whatever. Actually during the period I’ve been living in Japan, it has been pretty frustrating for me being treated like an object only because I was Italian. I treat people as people without caring about the ethnicity, but I like Asian girls more. Do I deserve a medical treatment?

So then in the end you cant open with anything related to race such as being Asian. But if your goal is date an Asian woman simply because you find them beautiful then you cant say that either? If all that leaves you is to say “nice day today, huh?” wouldn’t that come off as boring? What if there is a natural curiousity there and I said “”I caught that Joy Luck Club and I just wondering if you can relate to any of it?” Would this be an offensive opening? Great post, funny.

I know many Asian women they tell me the same thing how white,black and Latino men make there comments thinking how easy they’re to pick up. Iam a Hispanic man who has dated Asian woman all I can say is be your self don’t try to hard to impress them show respect and take your time talk about family talk about there day show up with flower become there friend and be patient don’t kiss on the first date meet her family and you can’t do this then then you will never meet a nice girl This not just for Asian woman it’s for all women

Wow. All this time, I was doing it wrong. My line was: “Yo Hogigamashinto, wanna go boom boom on some eggroll? I like the yellow hot mustard baby!” Now I umderstand why all those Korean, Japanese, and Chinese girls said “no speaka English!” I thought it was just because I was at the airport terminal waiting near JAL, Korean Air and Air China. Hmm…

Seriously, are you serious with this Chin? What crazy guys are you attracting? Sorry you experienced such idiots, but your advice smack of an unsaid underlying assumption that non-Asian men would have such racist thinking, and that assumption is itself racist, especially by comparing other non-Asian men to the one that flaunted he had an ex-girlfriend that was Asian.

For the record, I’m white and grew up in a diverse neighborhood. I can tell you, you speaking for “Asian women” plays into the stupid American simplification of Asians as all one homogenous group. They most certainly are not. Its like referring to “Euorpean women,” thinking what appeals or would generally apply culturally to an English woman would apply to a Serb would apply to a Swede would apply to a French woman. I assure there is no magic underlying formulaic approach.

Lastly, having dated a Korean and Chinese-American girl in highschool and college, I know Asian can be nasty racists asses, especially the family members of the girl being dated and well treated. No race had a monopoly on racism or ignorance. A woman being of any given race is not an issue. What is is her nature and compatibility. And I’ve lived long enough now to know the only univerisal commonality uniting people is ignorance and prejudices and a want to be respected and loved.

I’m late to the party but I found this site while trying to find statistics on black/asian interracial relationships in San Francisco.

Why?

Because I noticed that similar to my hometown Seattle, San Francisco has a huge population of asian people and a low-ish percentage of black people but it seems to me that asian/black relationships were much more popular back home and are practically non-existent here in the bay area, save a few asian guys I’ve met with black girlfriends.

Anyway, being a black male I totally understand where you’re coming from on this topic. People assume I’m aggressive all the time, assume that I must be pissed off since im not as extroverted as they expected, and my personal favorite, turn on their playa playa swag to talk to me only to realize I talk “like a white guy.” Wamp wamp wamp.

I’m giving you these examples to illustrate a couple of things… 1) That it’s not just asian girls or people who are sometimes treated as some type of exotic fetish, everyone experiences it to some degree (more so if you are not white), and 2) It’s common. Some people are curious, some people are stupid, and sometimes people are both. Bad combination. Consider yourself enlightened and use it live an enriched life. Most naturally with those who have similar life experiences.

I’m single. :)

Dudes, the lady has left the room. Your words are just blowing in the wind

Lalalalala.. all creatures are equal in God’s eyes and very beautiful…

I don’t know how I got this site of yours, but it’s hysterically funny. I know exactly what you’re talking about, I am an Asian male with two sisters. I have seen it all my life. I have been with white women and Asian women. Text me for any insight. 808 283 0877 I know my name sounds super German. But I am hapa. Mom born and raised in Japan. Text if you feel like it. You caught my attention.

beautiful girl, I’m very attracted to your asian amazing lips (hope I wasn’t racist there hahah) and I like your attitude also :D I can see, a conversation or something more than that with you can be interesting.

what can I say.. come to Europe! I don’t know how it is San Francisco but for sure you’ll be amazed by east countries of Europe., here you can see a lot of beautiful landscapes and another things, nice experience.. and who knows, maybe I’ll be your guide in this journey if you let me to bite your lips ;)

see you

Aloha,

I believe your a victem of your own words. Me personally I love cultures, I have often approached Asian Wahine and during the initial conversation ask what there nationality is rather then where they are from so I can find something in common with my experiences. Myself born and raised in Hawaii and being a minority I grew to love the cultures of the many different people living there. In fact I speak many languages and eat, cook and live by different beliefs, spirituality and I practice hula and many different martial arts but I’m not from an Asian or the kanaka maoli race. Does that mean I hate my own race or nationality? No. I am American and hapa and i love diversity. The problem today is it’s not ok to be unique. Political correctness demands we all be the same. It’s ok young lady to be described as kanani or nani for having features relatted to your nationality or race. This is a compliment. But I also understand where you conning from too. It really depends on the spirit of intent of the person approaching you. Often I find it’s just lack of knowledge or ignorence rather then being disrespectful. For example, do you know how many stupid questions I and others from Hawai’i that move to the mainland get from people who know nothing about the islands? Try does everyone surf? Do you guys live in huts(seriously)? Do you speak Hawaiian(I do a little but not everyone does) I think you get the point. But I found most are just curious and they ask out of curiosity not to be disrespectful. It’s hard to believe that just 10 years ago there were places in our country that have never been exposed to anything other then Apple pie culture or the Caucasian race. A lot of people approaching Asian American girls may just be in awe to expierence something different. Not everything is negative. Myself growing up on Hawai’i i took for grantted the beauty of Asian woman because they are everywhere on the islands. But living the last decade in areas on the mainland that are just Caucasian I have come to appreciate Asian woman again and every woman of different races as being uniquely beautiful. In conclusion, political correctness is also racist became it doesn’t recognize or respect the uniqueness of each culture or its right to exist but wants to create a one universal culture. We see this in the gentraficatiin of anything unique in this country and the islands. Mahalo for your time.

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