Tumgik
#wow i spent a lot of time on Youtube..........
simgaroop · 2 days
Text
I think I am neurodivergent.
There is no official diganosis and at this stage in my life I probably won't look for one. But in recent years I've started to think I probably am one. I even thought about asking my therapist about this, just before she released me a couple years ago. But it just felt like I was making things up at the moment. Besides, it is pretty stupid for a mental health specialist to self-diagnose, so that's why I am not saying this with complete certainty.
Huh, this is one of those posts I should be writing in Spanish.
Anyway, why am I randomly posting this in my Sim blog? Well, because I am exhausted. I've spent the last two months carrying a huge figurative boulder on my shoulders and just pretending (or masking) non stop. If you met me in person, the most likely impression you would have of me is that I am a very calm, warm and sweet person, who has her shit together, is the voice of reason, a great listener, someone who is eager to come up with solutions to any problem. Someone who has control over her emotions, who likes "normal" everyday stuff. People look up to me and I am constantly been asked for support, both in my professional and personal life. I am so nice and adaptable, that I was able to practically live in a hospital for over 5 weeks, just leaving it to go to work.
However, deep inside I am a very anxious woman, who is triggered by thoughts of death, disease (of loved ones), doctors and hospitals. I need to have my time to be alone. I prefer (almost need) to sleep in a very dark room and listening to movie or videogame podcasts. I've always been into videogames and animated shows, and I tend to obsess about those topics. I used to write a lot of fanfiction and loved it, but have never told a soul because I am so embarrased by it. I prefer to be alone, I hate to make and answer phone calls and when I get a notification on Whatsapp I really need to take a moment to even read the message (and it is even worse if it's a voice message). I am socially awkward in situations that are not related to work. I used to stimm a lot when I was a child, and I still do it when I am stressed. I was a picky eater. I used to be the lonely child who preferred to be by herself and only made friends because my parents were worried. I do not watch series on Netflix, but I can browse Youtube for hours and watch Lets Plays and documentaries about shows. I've always wanted to share my nerd tendencies, but I can't, because I am a woman in her forties, and my family and social circle look down on that stuff. So I constantly pretend and only when I am alone at night I can browse and look at the stuff I like, which is honestly very innocent, but I feel like I have to hide it.
And these last weeks I have had to constantly hide myself in my "social" and "professional" self. And I am exhausted. I feel like my heart is heavy. And it is even affecting my work performance.
So I come to my nerdy spot on the Internet to vent. To the one place in which I can sort of be myself and hope like someone might read this and understand.
*Reads Post* Wow, this is why I mostly lurk. I sound like a 15 year old and my urge to pretend that everything is fine with me is screaming that I do not post this. 😥
27 notes · View notes
lovelessbachelor · 4 months
Note
Ok so
I'll ask a simple question: fav color?
Also, what got you into writing? I like hearing origin stories of hobbies, no matter how mundane they may be :)
I also take it you like Undertale and/or Deltarune, what got you into those games and their respective fandoms?
Would ask more but I don't wanna overwhelm ya :>
ooo ok.
colour? green and purple. i can't choose between them, trust me i've tried. i love them both for different reasons! both equally strong!
aaah writing? i've always been into telling and hearing stories (say that to the 2 school libraries i've eaten through) but funnily enough the thing that got me into writing stories? Undertale!! i had an eisteddfodd in my school i think i was in yr6, and i basically tried to write out the whole plot of Undertale for a story (it was required) and it was suuuuch a breaking point for me tbh. i still see elements in that recreation that have carried over into my writing style today- crazyyyy.
though my actual getting into writing came a bit later (around 2018 on Wattpad...an ErrorInk fanfic that i'm actually rewriting rn! that ship means soooo much to me) i consider it my like....catalyst into writing, even if it was super cringey.
Oof how i got into Undertale? oooh this one. so. like. Before i was into UT i was into other stuff, still games. Basically i was into FNAF and then YanSim (i know....i know....i hate that guy....i was like 10....) and i watched a lot of YT as well! OG YT kid. Chronic Dantdm fan (after this i kept on commenting on his vids asking him to play UT....HE DID. I TAKE PARTIAL CREDIT./hj). I watched Bijuu Mike and Kubz Scoutz for YanSim content and in one of these videos (a Bijuu Mike one) they showcased an easter egg in the game that was a reference to UT (the mouse and cheese bit) and Bijuu said something like 'oh this is from Undertale' and i was like ??? and looked up an Undertale playthrough and watched Jacksepticeyes one and the rest is history....
For Deltarune i was in the UT/UTMV fandom as it came out so i was in with the hype of it, pretty sure i watched Jacksepticeyes playthrough for it as well lol. and played it myself!
For specific UT/DR and UTMV fandom? oooh it was mostly Youtube comment sections. Comic Dubs and crappy AMVs that are just a slideshow with nightcore over it were my jam. When i went over to Wattpad it was pretty similar except now i had stories and ships i could get more immersed into (and the comment sections. good lird)
I also had Amino (i know. i shudder at the thought) and that was pretty good for fandom hubs. joined quite a few UT/DR/UTMV ones. Mostly joined bcs all the Animation Meme YTers were getting sponsered by it (i was also an animation meme kid. still animate sometimes!) but even at my tender age i knew that most of the fandom congregated on Tumblr (the comic dubs had links to tumblr blogs)....but i legit thought it was just a broken website cus i downloaded the app and it didn't work lollll. But hey. i'm here now. That previous experience actually got me to make my current account so. here we are.
DW about asking stuff lol its fun to look back at stuff that have literally shaped the man i am today. i mean it when i say stuff like UT saved my life.
2 notes · View notes
hotdogmchiggin · 1 year
Text
Hey anyone wanna see some of my old splatoon miiverse art.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Most of these were drawn for splatfests so they make more sense in that context lol. Like the venusaur was for the pokemon Red vs Blue splatfest.
#Homestly I forget that I drew a lot on miiverse and put probably too much time into my drawings#all of the pixel shading on these is hand drawn in case you dont know how miiverse drawing worked lol#it was fun and rewarding took literal hours so figured I’d post some of these here to see if people like and/or recognize them#also there was no zooming in at all so had to do everything in a tiny square on the wiiu gamepad. honestly a nightmare#i know someone somewhere on youtube did like a splatoon miiverse meme compilation and had a bunch of art with credit to the original artists#but then they put in the ‘IM STUCK BETWEEN FORMS’ comic as a JOKE at the END of the video and DIDNT CREDIT ME AT ALL#like you credited EVERYONE ELSE you seriously couldnt put my name on it :(#i forget the video and forgot to ask them to put credit but it haunts me to this day#also fun fact about the past vs future splatfest art. My internet cut out when i was trying to post it so I couldnt actually POST it#which is devastating on miiverse b/c you cant save drawings. its all one and done baby.#so i had spent like hours drawing this bitch and then i was stuck for a couple more hours freaking out and keeping my wiiu awake#while waiting for the internet to come back on. i was so upset lol.#in hindsight the coincidence of the technical difficulty was hilarious#i think out of all of these the venusaur took the longest? there was a looot of shading required to make the fade look right#uhh what do i tag this as#miiverse#myart#splatoon#damn just realized i probably drew these back in like 2015. wow#about like 8 years ago goddamn
14 notes · View notes
chibisatou · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
3 notes · View notes
vanteguccir · 3 months
Text
Galaxy girl | Matt Sturniolo
Tumblr media
Matt Sturniolo x reader
Summary: Where Matt has a crush on Y/N, an influencer extremely well-known in the USA, but when she goes to the Zach Sang Show, Matt discovers that she also has a crush on him. When the two meet at a party, how will Matt react?
Requested?: Yes, from anon.
Author's note: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
༻✦༺  ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺
"Hi beautiful people! I'm Zach, and that is Dan, and welcome to the studio for the first time after many requests, Y/N!" Zach began with his standard intro, the camera moving away from him and onto Y/N, who was sitting comfortably on the couch facing her microphone.
"Hii, wow... I've lost count of how many nights I've spent hours watching your show, Zach, so being here is an honor! Thank you so much for having me." Y/N spoke with a smile on her face, her eyes shining with excitement.
"It's amazing to have you here too. Believe me, the honor is ours." Zach replied, smiling just as much. "But tell me, how is life? Crazy, I imagine." He asked with a smile, taking in Y/N's features.
"Don't remind me, literally crazy! As I have Instagram, Tiktok, and YouTube to manage and post content every day, at least in one, I haven't had time to stop much, you know?" Y/N spoke while gesturing with her hands. "But it's been incredible. Over the past five years, I've loved every moment of it."
"I can only imagine, especially since you have a knack for fashion too, right? I see you a lot at events." Zach commented, taking a sip of his water.
"Yes, exactly. My content is a little bit of everything: humor, fashion, relationships, makeup, Q&A, day-to-day life, etc. I like this really mixed stuff." The girl let out a laugh when she finished.
"Yes, I think that's what attracts so many audiences to you too, right? You have subjects that cover all audiences." Zach commented, receiving a nod from the influencer. "And tell me a little about how it all started, from the beginning."
"Well, I've always been a person who loved to talk, my friends at school joked that if I sat next to an unknown person for ten minutes, within the first minute I would come up with a random topic and start a conversation." Y/N smiled when she heard Zach comment that that was something super interesting and traits of an extroverted person. "Plus, I've always liked having an audience and social media. I had Musical.ly many years ago, where I posted short makeup and hair videos."
"Wow, Musical.ly, I completely forgot it existed." Dan commented, laughing along with the other two.
"Yes, it looks like it was a crazy dream." Zach nodded, glancing briefly at Dan before returning his gaze to Y/N. "I saw some videos from that time. You once mentioned that you took makeup courses, right?"
"Yes, I took makeup courses at Make-up Forever Academy while I was at school. It's always been my favorite hobby." Y/N said, as she stirred her Starbucks coffee cup, her drink still warm. "And on Musical.ly, I only posted that, but over time, the app lost popularity, and people started looking for me on Instagram. At the time, my Instagram was pretty empty, I didn't post almost anything there, just some also makeup things. But then, I needed to change that since Instagram gave me a lot more tools to create more expansive content. It was the moment that I completely lost my shyness with cameras, you know? That's when I started talking about other things besides makeup and hair, and the audience grew. Famous people started following me as well, I remember I panicked about that." She paused, laughing, accompanied by Zach, who was listening intently.
"And my followers started asking for a YouTube channel, where I could make longer videos and each one about something specific. I thought a lot about it, but I took courage and created my channel, and it totally exploded, almost all of my followers from Instagram started to follow me there, but on YouTube the number of people doubled."
"It caught the attention of the public who only used YouTube, right?" Zach commented, nodding in understanding.
"Exactly! And I was just with this two social medias for a few years, until I discovered Tiktok, that's when I discovered that it was like an improved Musical.ly, and that a lot of people made content just on it. I remember thinking: why not? I was already fully on the Internet, and it wouldn't hurt to have another social network. The audience continued to grow, and there were shares all the time, likes, and comments, and with that, we reached 16 million subscribers on YouTube and 6 million followers on Tiktok and Instagram." Y/N finished, her face showing a smile as she momentarily remembered her long journey there.
"Your history with the Internet is truly incredible, you are one of the biggest influencers in the United States and well known all over the world, having started at 15 years old and fighting to grow and gain your own space." Zach praised, clapping playfully as Y/N waved her hand like it was nothing, her face turning red in embarrassment. "But you mentioned a subject I wanted to bring up: celebrities." He said, laughing when he saw the girl take on a fearful look.
"Jesus, what are you going to say?" Y/N asked with a smile on her face, she had already opened up her life and tastes so much to her audience, that she knew she would definitely have said something about celebrities that she didn't remember at that moment, but that Zach would bring up.
"There was a video on Tiktok where you were answering a question from a fan, who had asked what your favorite YouTube channel and your celebrity crush were." Zach began, approaching the microphone to his face. Y/N widened her eyes, taking a sip of her drink to hide her expression, vaguely remembering the video in question. "And you answered that your favorite channel was the Sturniolo Triplets and that your celebrity crush was Matt Sturniolo, is that correct?"
"Oh my God." Y/N muttered, hiding her red cheeks in her hands. "Yes, it is." She let out a nervous laugh. "The triplets are super funny, I just love their content! I'm not going to lie, I've never missed a video of them. I saw that Chris came here this year, right? I think their journey with YouTube is incredible." She said, Zach nodding as he confirmed that Chris had been on the show recently.
"They really are incredible people. Their content is gold. But, is Matt still your crush?" He asked again, looking at her with a smile on his face.
"You're not going to let this go, are you?" Y/N asked as she smiled sheepishly. "Yes, he's still my crush. I mean, have you seen that man? He's hot, has an incredible sense of humor, and is kind! Just perfect, just no more than Harry Styles." She counted the characteristics mentioned with the fingers of her right hand, laughing when she mentioned the British singer, trying to take all attention away from her admission about her crush.
"Yeah, guys, it seems like if you're not Matt, or Harry, you don't enter Y/N's list." Zach joked, looking at the camera, receiving laughs from the other two there.
༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
The triplets were lying on the sofa in their home, each in a corner of the space, while using their phones. Sounds of tiktoks and reels echoed through the walls.
Nick was on his tiktok, browsing his For You, watching the millions of edits that his fans made for them, some videos of other subjects appearing from time to time. The boy let out a laugh when he saw an edit of himself with clips taken from the last car video, double-clicking on the screen to give it a like before scrolling his thumb up, Y/N's voice suddenly sounding from his phone.
Nick took his thumb away from the screen momentarily, paying attention to what one of his favorite influencers was saying, smiling as he heard her tell a little about her history with social media.
His smile was replaced by wide eyes seconds later when the girl's comment about his channel with his brothers and about Matt sounded.
"What?" He asked loudly, catching the attention of Matt and Chris, who had confused looks on their faces.
"What what?" Chris asked, locking the screen of his phone and tossing it to the side.
Matt only looked up from his own phone screen momentarily, returning his attention to his Instagram feed.
"You know Y/N?" Nick asked, his eyes darting from Matt to Chris quickly.
"That super famous influencer that Matt has had a crush on for years? Yes." Chris agreed, nodding his head as he adjusted himself in his seat, receiving a slap on the arm from his brother, who lowered his cell the moment the girl's name left Nick's lips.
"She knows who we are, and not only that, she talked about us on Zach's show." The redhead said with wide eyes.
"Zach Sang?" Matt asked, receiving a nod from Nick, who got up and walked closer to his brothers, sitting between the two and raising his phone, increasing the screen brightness and volume before hitting play on the tiktok again.
The video was a compilation of the show's favorite moments with the influencer. The triplets watched in silence until they got to the part where Y/N talked about her channel, also confirming her crush on Matt. Chris quickly turned his face to Matt with his mouth open in shock.
"Matt, THE Y/N has a crush on you." Nick reinforced, pausing the video and turning to his brother, who had wide eyes as he looked at the phone that had Y/N's face on the screen, a disbelief look on his own face.
"That's crazy." He muttered, shaking his head in denial. "It's not possible that my longtime crush has a crush on me, too. That only happens in movies. Right?" Nick rolled his eyes at the comment.
"It might be crazy, but it's not a lie. She wouldn't talk about our channel and reveal her crush on you if it was a lie or a joke." Chris commented as he fixed the hood of his sweatshirt, earning a nod from Nick.
"Next week, there will be that huge and super chic party for the biggest influencers and YouTubers in the United States here in LA, and we received an invitation. I'm absolutely sure she will be there. It would be a great opportunity to make contact with other YouTubers and get to know her, maybe even ask her to participate in a video with us." Nick reminded his brothers of the invitation, locking his phone screen and looking at the two.
"Are you sure about that?" Matt asked, an expression of uncertainty on his face. Out of the three, he was the least fond of parties, although none of them were very fond of it either.
"It would be great for the channel, Matt." Chris reinforced, shrugging. "It wouldn't hurt to try. If we don't like it, we can leave right away. But meeting Y/N seems amazing to me right now, and it would be a great opportunity for you."
"Okay."
༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
"Are you guys sure about this?" Matt asked after turning off the key in the ignition, keeping his hands on the wheel as he looked ahead, his ears picking up the loud sound coming from the party.
"Matt, it's just going to be a test, okay? It's interesting for us to make more contacts." Nick responded from the backseat, resting his hands on the sides of the front seats as he looked in the rearview mirror, waiting for Matt to look back.
Matt looked up, focusing on Nick through the mirror, who had a neutral expression. The boy shifted his gaze to Chris beside him, who was already looking at him.
Chris offered a reassuring smile, taking his left hand to Matt's right shoulder, squeezing the area.
Matt exhaled deeply as he mentally prepared himself. It had been years since he had attended such a big party.
It didn't take long for the triplets to get out of the vehicle. Matt locked the doors before they started their walk to the mansion where the loud sound of pop music was coming from.
Nick quickly pulled from the pocket of his jeans the invitation he had received in the mail that stated his and his brothers' names on expensive-looking paper and beautiful writing, holding it ready to present to the security guards at the front.
After being granted entry, the three entered the house, stopping for a few seconds at the beginning of the living room while their eyes traveled over the people there, recognizing some of their social media.
The mansion was extremely chic, decorated with golden tones and diamond chandeliers, long marsala red curtains covered the huge windows and columns that resembled those of Greek temples were spread throughout the space, along with two staircases in each hemisphere of the room with wooden handrails and a red carpet that led upstairs.
Youtubers, influencers, and celebrities filled the space, talking or dancing, some drinking, dressed in extravagant and expensive clothes.
Chris surreptitiously pointed to a specific point, making his brothers look there.
"That's Y/N, right?" He asked, earning a nod from Nick.
To Matt, the earth seemed to have stopped spinning, and the world seemed to have become static. The celebrities in the room suddenly stopped, the sound became muffled, and the smell of drinks and perfume disappeared. His breathing seemed to catch, and his throat felt dry.
Y/N looked perfect, having opted for an all-silver outfit: a mid-length skirt with a thigh-high slit from Diesel draped in synthetic silver along with a white crop top also from Diesel adorned her body. A pair of thin silver high heels decorated her feet, complemented by a silver Diesel bag and jewelry in the same color.
She looked like she came out of one of those galaxy movies, but much prettier than its characters.
Matt could have watched her from afar for seconds or minutes, just admiring her beauty and every detail of herself, but it still seemed to be too quick for his liking. Nick woke him from his hypnosis with a weak slap to his chest, getting his attention.
"You definitely don't know how to disguise it." He commented, rolling his eyes.
"Shut up, Nick." Matt responded quickly, frowning and briefly looking at Y/N again, before turning to his brothers. "I'm going to get something to drink, are you coming?" He asked, needing a cold soda at that moment.
Chris nodded, answering for himself and Nick, following his middle brother to the bar that was in the separation between the kitchen and the living room.
The space was extremely chic, a circle-shaped bar with a gold colored counter decorated with details in yellow and navy blue tiles, giving an air of wealth. At the front there were stools with synthetic gold upholstery and at the back, after the space where the bartender circulated, there was a large circular and high table filled with all types of drinks, including the most expensive ones.
Matt leaned his hips against the counter, choosing not to sit down, and glanced briefly at the bartender.
Nick sat on the stool next to him and Chris sat next to Nick, the two starting a conversation about a subject that Matt didn't pay attention to, his attention focused on the people around him, or rather, on one specific person.
His blue eyes went back and forth to Y/N's silhouette, admiring her from afar as he wished to be by her side, accompanying her and being the person she was talking to.
The girl next to Y/N and who had been talking to her since the moment Matt entered the room walked away, saying something while blowing an air kiss to the influencer, who smiled in response and turned around, facing where Matt was, but not looking directly at him, running her eyes around the people while taking sips of her drink, probably alcoholic.
Matt took a deep breath as he gathered his courage, straightening up and starting to take long steps towards the girl, crossing the room and passing among the famous people there.
"Matt, what do you want to- Matt?" Nick began, turning to where Matt was and stopping mid-sentence when he saw that his brother was no longer there.
"He's on his way to get his pot of gold." Chris commented, poking Nick with the index finger of his left hand and pointing at Matt, who was already approaching Y/N.
The brunette stopped next to Y/N, turning so that he was also facing the people around and shoulder to shoulder with her, a few centimeters between them. His hands were in the front pockets of his jeans as he breathed slowly, trying to calm his nerves.
And then her voice sounded like it was the easiest thing she'd done all day. Her voice was silky in person, so inducing that it sent goosebumps across Matt's skin.
"You were working up the courage to say hi..." She lifts the glass, taking another sip, her lips shiny with gloss and bright red lipstick, her tongue escaping her mouth momentarily, licking the residue of the drink there. "Or would you just stare at me all night?" She turned around, facing him.
Matt almost choked on his own saliva as he heard Y/N confirm that not only had she noticed he was there, but she had also noticed that he had been looking at her this entire time. A weight settled in his chest. Perhaps it was shame or lust due to the way she said that without reservation.
"I didn't mean to disturb you. You seemed quite engaged in your conversation." He made up an excuse, knowing full well that he could have gone to the girl from the moment he arrived, but his fear of what would happen held him back.
"Engaged? In a conversation about who here has the most money and fame?" Y/N threw back, furrowing her eyebrows.
Matt looked around them, stopping his eyes briefly on the girl who had previously spoken to Y/N and who was now watching the people with a gaze torn between judgment and desire. A loud laugh escaped his lips as he shook his head in denial, the pettiness of some people impressed him.
"For what it's worth, you're the only famous person here that interests me." Matt commented, his blue eyes focusing on Y/N's face, analyzing her closely. An expression of satisfaction came over his face as he saw a red color take over her cheeks.
"You flatter me, Matt." Y/N looks back at him, their eyes meeting for a few long seconds, before hers travel across Matt's face, mentally taking note of every detail she could notice in the few seconds.
The boy smiled arrogantly when he saw her eyes on him, receiving an eye roll in response.
"Do you like what you see?" He asked, his voice taking a deeper tone and his pupil dilating as his lips stretched into a smirk.
"Don't let it go to your head." Y/N responded as she scoffed playfully, allowing the beginning of a smirk to emerge on the right corner of her lip.
At that moment, Matt felt like he could do something, anything, that would make her smile like that again or smile a bigger smile. He thought of a million possibilities of what he could say to cause that reaction in her, longing to feel the butterflies in his stomach again.
"You look beautiful tonight." Matt praised, his blue eyes traveling over Y/N's body momentarily, returning to her eyes. "Not that you just look beautiful tonight. You always look beautiful. But today you..." The boy tried to justify, getting caught on his words. "Look perfect."
A sigh escaped his lips, an apologetic look taking over his eyes as his right hand scratched the back of his neck lightly, feeling like a complete idiot for getting tangled up in front of the girl he has a crush on.
"I'm sorry, this isn't how I pictured myself meeting you." He groaned, looking at the ground in shame, hoping something would surge and save him.
"So you imagined meeting me?" Y/N smiled, feeling arrogant. She bit her bottom lip, feeling smug as she watched Matt blush and his eyes widen. "I'm kidding. You look beautiful tonight, too." Y/N let out a low laugh, returning the previous compliment, running her tongue between her lips, wetting them as her eyes traveled over Matt, pausing lingeringly on his exposed collarbone with the tank top he was wearing, the necklaces that decorated his neck made her mouth water.
Before Matt could even open his mouth to answer her, the sound of footsteps approached, catching both their attention. Y/N tore her eyes away from Matt's blue ones and looked ahead, seeing the same girl from before approaching again, holding herself back from instantly rolling her eyes.
The boy realized that the conversation would change direction and that, perhaps, he would no longer be included in it. A subtle sigh escaped his lips, and he tucked his hands into the pockets of his jeans again, looking at Y/N briefly, realizing that she was already looking back.
"I'm sorry." She asked, pressing her painted lips into a thin line before a beautiful, wide smile replaced it. "Text me on Instagram. You will be my priority to respond." Y/N spoke before being gently pulled away by her "friend", turning her face back quickly and sending the brunette a wink before looking forward again.
Matt watched her from behind as her high-heeled legs took long, quick steps away from him, a goofy smile taking over his features. He would definitely send that text.
༻✦༺  ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺
My asks are open, feel free to send requests or anything at all!! 🩷💋
428 notes · View notes
ninyard · 28 days
Text
The monsters and their ability to pick up languages is so interesting to me so here’s some random HCs about monsters + languages that are definitely not original at all:
- Neil learned French in Europe before him and Mary found their way to French-speaking Canada. He essentially had to semi-adopt the language discrepancies while he was there, and even though his fluency is in French from France, sometimes he messes up and pronounces things weirdly or differently (and Kevin frequently makes fun of him for it)
- Kevin has some rusty Japanese that he was forced to learn growing up. He can understand it pretty well, and can somewhat speak it to a lower level, but he can’t read or write it. He’s not fluent, and probably couldn’t hold a conversation with a native speaker, but he could understand his Japanese counterparts in the Nest when he needed to.
- In turn Kevin isn’t able to order in Japanese at a restaurant, but he could explain the rules of Exy to someone fairly coherently if he had to.
- This isn’t an original thought by any means but Neil and Kevin definitely speak in French when they’re by themselves just to make sure they don’t lose it.
- They sometimes make calls to each other on the court in French, and because of this, most of the team picks up very basic calls in French. None of them can actually speak it, but Andrew picks up a little more than the rest, having spent so much time with Kevin. Again, couldn’t hold a conversation, but every now and again he recognises certain words in their conversations.
- Neil is like a walking version of those White Guy Speaks Chinese And Stuns Waitress (he can understand her?!?) polyglot youTube videos. It becomes more of a hobby for him once he’s settled and the FBI are off his back, but the foxes are constantly shocked by how many languages he can speak. He is fluent in English, French, and German of course, with some conversational Spanish, but he can pretty much have a basic interaction in most of the languages of countries he’d been in. His Dutch is the worst, because he could never quite grasp the proper pronunciation of things, but one time he speaks to a waiter in Italian and Andrew can’t believe it.
- (RIP Neil Josten, you would’ve loved duolingo)
- When he goes to the Olympics he’s like a kid in a candy store. It’s like a subconscious bingo game for him to speak to someone from every country at least once.
- Aaron loves listening to music in German. He would definitely drag Nicky to a rave if they ever found themselves in Berlin.
- Katelyn asks him whenever they have their kid if he wants to raise them bilingual, but he decides not to because he only really learned German for Nicky and his brother, and doesn’t really speak it at all after he graduates.
- Neil and Nicky study Spanish together sometimes. It helps Nicky stay close to his roots now that his immediate family is pretty much out of the picture. It means way more to him than Neil even knows.
- Another unoriginal one but Andrew and Neil definitely do learn sign language in the future. I could talk about this one forever.
- When Kevin gets frustrated, he finds it hard to speak ANY language. He messes up words in English, forgets how to say things, and occasionally is the butt of the joke when he combines a French and English word accidentally.
- Kevin watches anime when nobody is around. He thinks dubbed anime is a crime.
- Andrew thinks he’s pretty good at German until he tries to have a conversation with Erik and realises wow native speakers talk a lot faster than we do. You wouldn’t know, because even if he just understands half of a sentence, he can usually piece together what is being said 90% of the time, and he would never admit out loud that he needs Erik to slow down when he’s talking so he can understand him.
- He is, however, REALLY good at accents. He has a talent for speaking gibberish but sounding as if he’s speaking fluent French. It drives Kevin up the wall when he does it, but he also hates when he can’t understand what Kevin and Neil are saying to each other.
And Bonus:
- Jeremy is really bad at accents. He is initially frustrated by Jean and his French, but once he understands that it is Jean’s first language (that the Moriyama’s took from him), he makes an effort to try and learn. He’s just really, really bad at it. Jean cringes every time he tries, because he speaks with a heavy American accent. Jean is not pretentious about his language, but he is, at the end of the day, French. So when Jeremy says bonjour in that hideous so-Cal accent, it’s in part endearing that he’s trying, but mostly like nails on a chalkboard.
170 notes · View notes
jgthirlwell · 4 months
Text
2023 Year In Review
This year once again I invited some friends and colleagues to reflect on 2023
JG Thirlwell Composer Foetus Xordox Manorexia Steroid Maximus Venture Bros Archer
2023 was an intense year. The year began with the premiere of my symphony for Alarm Will Sound and ended with guesting vocalizing with Dinosaur Jr on some Stooges classics. I completed the final season of Archer. Wrote a lot of material for new Xordox and Foetus albums. Released an album of string quartets and scored a Venture Bros movie. Worked with some great singers and premiered my Ensemble project in London. I spent several months traveling and set up a small studio in Melbourne for a bit. Road tripped through NZ with my partner, Dora. I played some excellent shows in London, Colchester, Auckland, Wellington, Melbourne and Sydney. I still woke up 5am in a panic on too many occasions. And I saw some great concerts.It was difficult to whittle down this list but here are a lot of albums I enjoyed in 2023, in no particular order.
Albums
Poil Ueda Yoshitsune (Dur et Doux) Poil Ueda - Poil Ueda (Dur et Doux) Genevieve Artadi Forever Forever (Brainfeeder) Knower - Knower Forever (Brainfeeder) Ultraphauna No No No No (Dur Et Doux) Gahlmm Break A Leg (GEIGER Grammofon) Oneohtrix Point Never Again (Warp) Lankum - False Lankum (Rough Trade) Evian Christ Revanchist (Warp) Chromb Cinq (Dur et Doux) Deskartes A Kant After Destruction (Cleopatra) Gazelle Twin Then You Run (Original Score) L’Rain I Killed Your Dog (Mexican Summer) Loraine James Gentle Confrontation (Hyperdub) Royal Blood Back To The Water Below (Warner) John Luther Adams Darkness and Scattered Light (Cold Blue) Catherine Christer Hennix Solo for Tamburium (Blank Forms) Rachel Fannan Bjork Impersonations (Instagram) Regal Worm Worm! (Quatermass) Wild Up Julius Eastman Vol. 3: If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Rich? (New Amsterdam) PJ Harvey I Inside the Old Year Dying (Partisan) Poppy I Disagree (Sumerian) Sparks The Girl Is Crying In Her Latte (Island) Queens Of The Stone Age In Times New Roman (Matador) Time Wharp Spiro World (Leaving) Murderpact Ultraheaven (Bandcamp) RVG Brain Worms (Our Golden Friend) HMLTD - The Worm (Lucky Number) Catarina Barbieri - Myuthafoo (Editions Mego) Ligeti Quartet and Anna Meredith - NUC (Mercury KX) Mandy Indiana I’ve Seen a Way + EP(FireTalk) Kate NV WOW (RVNG) Kelly Moran Vesela EP (Warp) Kurws Powiez / Fascia (Korobushka) Fever Ray Radical Romantics (Mute) Netherlands Severance (Svart) Tim Hecker No Highs (Kranky) Bohemian Flesh Bohemian Flesh (Ojet) Pure Adult II (FatCat) Model/Actriz - Dogsbody (True Panther Sounds) Laurel Halo - Atlas (Awe) Water From Your Eyes - Everyones Crushed (Matador) Moritz Von Oswald - Silencio (tresor) REZZETT Meant Like This (Trilogy Tapes) Jess Johnson and Simon Ward 'Terminus' Virtual Reality exhibition at the Museum in Dunedin NZ.
Books
Naomi Klein Doppelganger Graham Rayman and Reuven Blau Rikers : An Oral History Thurston Moore Sonic Life Malcolm Gladwell The Bomber Mafia Tony Cohen Half Deaf, Completely Mad Brett Anderson Coal Black Morning Book Wesley Doyle Conform To Deform Primo Levi Survival in Auschwitz
Films + TV
Beef Barry Fargo The YouTube Effect Mutiny In Heaven Beau Is Afraid In The Court Of The Crimson King Oppenheimer
Concerts
01.28.23 Kodak Quartet performed at the Jack Studio Festival Event at The New School, performing a work by Khyam Allami and a stunning rendition of Ligeti’s String Quartet No 1. 02.21.23 Pure Adult opened for Gilla Band at Brooklyn Made and both were excellent! 02.22.23 Clown Core (featuring Louis Cole on drums and keys) Elsewhere in NYC. 03.02.23 Laurie Anderson performs at a drone event anchored by Lou’s guitar generating feedback drones, on the occasion of Lou Reed’s birthday .Other musicians joining the drone included Shazad Ismailey, Steven Bernstein, Stan Harrison, Briggan Krauss and more. 03.09.23 Michael Byron’s new work In One Second There Will Be A Thousand Plateaus Perhaps for two pianos and small orchestra featuring pianists Joseph Kubera and Steve Beck with Petr Kotik conducting members of the S.E.M. Ensemble. At Roulette Intermedium. 04.04.23 Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs brought the rock power and played an intense and triumphant show at Mercury Lounge to end their first US tour. 04.08.23 Amarcord Nino Rota, a reimagining of the Hal Willner’s Nino Rota tribute album, at Roulette Intermedium. 05.03.23 Genevieve Artadi played a grreat set at Public Records in Brooklyn to support her new album Forever Forever, with Louis Cole on drums. 05.27.23 Gloryhammer at Irving Plaza. Saw them in Melbourne too. 06.27.23 Sparks played a brilliant show at the Beacon Theater in NYC and I also caught them at Palais Theater in St Kilda, Melbourne, Australia on 10.26.23 07.04.23 75 Dollar Bill at Union Pool 08.20.23 BeatFox . Incredible luck to see this guy busking on Brick Lane. 08.21.23 The very wonderful Deerhoof at The Lafayette in London 08.22.23 clipping. played a killer show at Outernet in London 08.23.23 The incredible Poil Ueda from Lyon, France played in London at the Lexington + Lost Crowns 08.24.23 Swans played an epic set at The Troxy in Londo 09.24.23 TENGGER played an amazing set at the Art Gallery of NSW. 10.06.23 Fuji|||||||||||ta at Tempo Rubato in Melbourne, Australia. 10.07.23 RVG played a killer show to a packed house at Northcote Theatre in Melbourne, Australia 10.17.23 Chloe Sobek at Make It Up Club in Melbourne Australia. 10.21.23 Paul McCartney at Marvel Stadium in Melbourne Australia 10.28.23 Sarah Mary Chadwick at Wesley Anns as part of The 86 Super Saturday Festival 10.28.23 Party Dozen from Sydney played a great set at The 86 Super Saturday Festival in Melbourne Australia. 11.10.23 Devon Townsend played a beautiful, brutal and ecsatic show in Melbourne Australia at the Forum. 12.06.23 Ashley Bathgate and percussion sextet Mantra Percussion performed Matt McBane’s Topography at National Sawdust in NYC.
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
Michel Langevin (aka Away/Voïvod)
My coups de coeur in 2023:   TV Series: The Last of Us   Music: The Damned - Darkadelic Godflesh - Purge Crown Lands - Fearless Gong - Unending Ascending Soft Machine - Other Doors   Best show: KISS End of the Road World Tour in Montréal on Nov 18th   Best Moments: -Recording and touring the new Voïvod album, Morgöth Tales, celebrating the 40th anniversary of the band -Celebrating my 60th birthday on stage in Lyon on the Voïvod/Testament Euro tour -Jason Newsted joining the band on stage in Fort Lauderdale, USA -Eric Forrest joining the band on stage at Hellfest, France  
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
Lydia Lunch
https://www.lydia-lunch.net/
“Time-one long second that goes on forever” So enjoy it motherfuckers!
BOOKS
Love the World or Get Killed Trying Alvina Chamberland Mother Howl Craig Clevenger Nein, Nein, Nein! : One Man's Tale of Depression, Psychic Torment, and a Bus Tour of the Holocaust Jerry Stahl Mystic Debris Justin Gradin Niagara, NY Ric Royers The Pale-Faced Lie : A True Story David Crow The Conspiracy Against the Human Race: A Contrivance of Horror Thomas Ligotti The Field: The Quest for the Secret Force of the Universe Lynne McTaggert Yuval Noah Harari Box Set (Sapiens, Homo Deus, 21 Lessons for 21st Century) Season of the Witch Cathi Unsworth Every word John Tottenham utters or writes
TOURS with Sylvia Black & Gregg Foreman, Joseph Keckler, Marc Hurtado (tribute to Alan Vega & Suicide), Ian White, Kevin Shea (Sinister Impulse), Tim Dahl & Matt Nelson (Murderous Again)
Workshop & Performance Badass Babes of Burlesque w Rita D’Albert Zebulon LA
Workshop at the University of New Mexico thanks to Greg Moss
Reading with Zoe Hansen & Ron Athey at The Philosophical Research Center LA Reading with Eugene Robinson Makeout Room SF
Finishing the documentary with Jasmine Hirst Artists - Depression, Anxiety, and Rage and premiering it in Italy
Meeting butuh Queen Azumi OE and discussing up coming performances together with Tim Dahl
Completing the 233 episode of The Lydian Spin with Tim Dahl
FUN
Nights in London & Brighton spent with Nick Soulsby, Cathi Unsworth, Billy Chainsaw, Chris Bohn, Jack Sargeant, Pam Hogg,
Tina Kit (opened for my Suicide tribute in London & Brighton) best new band of suited and booted bad boys
Squired around Europe by Sebastien Greppo, a man like no other - who so lightens my burden…
Watching every episode of The Dark Side of The Ring with Kevin Shea
Training squirrels, levitating objects, saving lives, screaming into the void.
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
Mike Berdan
(Uniform) https://uniform-nyc.com/
ALBUMS
Lankum - False Lankum
Surgeon - Crash Recoil
Ryuichi Sakamoto - 12
Fellwinter - The Dawn Of Winter
Abysmal Lord - Bestiary Of Immortal Hunger
Death Kneel - Dawn Simulation
Shit And Shine - 2222 And Airport
Carnivorous Bells - Room Above All
Agonal Lust - Mankind Is A Talisman Of Misfortune
Godflesh - Purge
FIRST-TIME READS
A History Of Violence (1973) - David Cotner
Someone Who Isn't Me - Geoff Rickly
Your Dreams - Thomas Moore 4. In A Lonely Place - Karl Edward Wagner
Burn You The Fuck Alive - B.R. Yeager
The Holy Day - Christopher Norris
A Collapse Of Horses - Brian Evenson
The Devil Thinks I'm Pretty - Charlene Elsby
Let's Go Play At The Adams' - Mendal W. Johnson
Counterillumination - Audrey Szasz
MOVIES
Godzilla Minus One
CIGARS
Cohiba Magico Maduro Petit Robusto
God Of Fire Serie B Double Robusto
Padron Family Reserve no. 95 Maduro Petit Gordo
El Pulpo Toro
Tatuaje Reserva J21 Broadleaf Robusto
Atabey Benditos Double Corona
Romeo y Julieta Línea de Oro Nobles
H. Upmann Half Corona
Foundation Cigars The Tabernacle Robusto
OpusX Eye Of The Shark
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
Mario Diaz deLeon (composer, Luminous Vault, Bloodmist)
ALBUMS Evita Manji - Spandrel? Eartheater - Powders Slowspin - Talisman Marta DePascalis - Sky Flesh Kalia Vandever - We Fell in Turn Eraldo Bernocchi + Hoshiko Yamane - Sabi JakoJako -  Verve Surgeon - Crash Recoil Cavalera - Morbid Visions / Bestial Devastation Bell Witch - The Clandestine Gate Steve Lehman + Orchestre National de Jazz - Ex Machina
SONGS Kelly Moran - Vesela Vines - I Don’t Mind Cybotron - Maintain Barker - Birmingham Screwdriver VMO - Supergaze Omar Hisham - Adhan (Be Heaven)
EVENTS New Firmament: MONAD - Roulette Peter Evans: Being and Becoming - Roulette Anna Sperber: Amplifier - Roulette 20 Years of Shinkoyo - Roulette Anthony Braxton + Wolf Eyes - Pioneer Works Caterina Barbieri - Pioneer Works Felipe Lara + Claire Chase + Esperanza Spaulding + NY Phil TAK Ensemble: Swoonfest - The Clemente Center Kayo Dot: Choirs of The Eye - MilkBoy Cecilia Vicuña / Raven Chacon - The Poetry Project Krallice / Indocrithere / Geryon / Ocrilim - Saint Vitus Cavalera: Morbid Devastation - Irving Plaza Hulder / Blackbraid / Aeviterne - Le Poisson Rouge Eartheater / Concrete Husband - Elsewhere
BOOKS Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz - An Indigenous Peoples History of the United States
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
Alexander Tucker (Microcorps)
I started off the year by releasing a project very close to my heart: Fifth Continent, a collaboration with the late Keith Collins, partner and collaborator of film maker and artist Derek Jarman. The album was partially recorded in Jarman’s cottage in the desert-like landscape of Dungeness, on the South East coastline of Kent, in the UK, with elements constructed from Collins own spoken word pieces, and environmental recordings. The album was released on James Ginzberg’s Subtext label, and we also produced Fifth Quarter, an anthology publication of writing, recollections, photography and newly commissioned artworks about Jarman, Collins and Dungeness.
Although I probably made more music than usual this year, and had a greater focus than ever on the various projects I have underway, 2023 felt like a weird and often frustrating year for me and music. About five years ago I set about teaching myself modular systems, experimenting, and recording the results as I went along. This culminated in a new solo guise primarily for electronics and the synthesis of voice and acoustic instruments, MICROCORPS (the debut album Xmit came out on Alter records in 2021). Using these systems is at the same time liberating and incredibly frustrating. For a while this year nothing felt good enough: I could feel the potential of my ideas glimmering in the distance but was unable to catch up with them. I decided to take a short break from the modular, and focused upon compositions for cello, saxophone, and clarinet. But the pull of electronics is never far, so I began processing these recordings, using granular synthesis to stretch, mutate and reorganise the audio into new pieces. As soon as you want more from your practice and yourself, things can become more laborious - it’s difficult to be in the moment and focus on what’s in front of you. I used to be happy with the immediate effects I produced, but I think this is being replaced by a different approach, something more considered, which is exciting and, in some ways, sobering - even if the results are far from what you would describe as sober. I’m also so lucky to have many friends and fellow artists around me to offer help and suggestions, to whom I’m eternally grateful. As R.Crumb says, “Keep on truckin”.
Music I dug this year: Godflesh - Purge (Avalanche Recordings) Rắn Cạp Đuôi - *1 (nhạc_gay) Mun Sing - Inflatable Gravestone (Planet Mu) RS Tangent - When A Worm Wears A Wig (The Trilogy Tapes) Arnold Dreybaltt And The Orchestra Of Excited Strings - Resolve (Drag City) Elvin Brandhi and Lord Spikeheart - Drunken Love (Hakuna Kulala) Mark Fell and Will Guthrie - Infoldings / Diffractions (NAKID) Afrorack - The Afrorack (Hakuna Kulala) Kinn - Dogtooth (First Light Records) General Magic - Nein Aber Ja (GoTo Records)
Live shows: Emptyset - Village Underground Elvin Brandhi - IKLECTIK Mick Harris/FRET – Downwards’ 30th, Centrala Mun Sing, Crys Cole, Penelope Trappes - Boundaries Festival  Maxwell Sterling - Cafe OTO Pole - EartH Nik Colk Void - Too many to count! Phew - Cafe OTO Residency Acid Horse Festival Devo - Hammersmith Apollo Kinn - New Cross Road Baptist Church
Comics: In 2023 I produced a new issue of my ongoing oblique and nonlinear comic series, Entity Reunion. For this issue I drew upon my love of HP Lovecraft, using the repetition of the comic format to peel back layers of the everyday to reveal omnipotent entities underlying all reality. The viewpoint of each page is from the point of view of the protagonists, who hold an electronic device, photographing their surroundings only to capture the blurred features of some insidious face. There are also references to Lovecraft’s own fictional grimoire the Necrononmicon. I wanted that dreamlike sensation of being the protagonists of the dream but also viewing yourself as separate entity.
Books: I read nearly all of Patrica Highsmith’s ‘Ripley’ books, a bunch of John Le Carré novels, Mark Kermode’s book on The Exorcist and I’m currently working my way through the spy novelist Eric Ambler’s books. I also re-read Bruce Robinson’s analysis on Jack the Ripper and Victorian society, ‘They All Love Jack’. 
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
Tom Chiu (composer, Flux Quartet)
2 0 2 3  IN  REVIEW
Albums Worth Exploring (including a couple entries from 2022 that I discovered late)
Bar Italia                 Tracey Denim (Matador)
Blur                         Ballad Of Darren (Parlophone)
Bush Tetras             They Live In My Head (Wharf Cat)
Death Valley Girls    Islands In The Sky (Suicide Squeeze)
Dummy                    Mono Retriever (Sub Pop)
Duster                        Remote Echoes (Numero Group)
En Attendant Ana       Principia (Trouble In Mind)
Everything But the Girl     Fuse (Verve)
Horse Lords               Comradely Objects (RVNG)
Kelela                         Raven (Warp)
Lael Neale                  Star Eaters Delight (Sub Pop)
Lana Del Rey             Do You Know That There's A Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd (Interscope)
Lewsberg                   Out And About (12XU)
Munya                        Jardin (Luminelle)
Slowdive                    Everything Is Alive (Dead Oceans)
Sweeping Promises    Good Living Is Coming For You (Sub Pop)
Wednesday                Rat Saw God (Dead Oceans)
Yo La Tengo               This Stupid World (Matador)
Night at the Movies
Poor Things Past Lives Monster
Recurring Personal FAVES
FAVE Sandwich: Mekelburg's  Clinton Hill, Brooklyn
FAVE Burger: Two8Two Bar & Burger, Boerum Hill, Brooklyn
FAVE Craft Beer Brewery Omnipollo (Sweden), brewed at Twelve Percent Beer Project, North Haven, CT
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
Pierre Cerrato
Producer - Editor  Floyd County Productions (Archer)
Favorite Movies/TV Archer Season 14 The Last of Us Gen V Beef This Fool Season 2 Fargo Season 5 Primo (Amazon Prime Show) The Bear Season 2 Episode Barry Season 4
Favorite Records  I listened to a lot of music but these were in constant rotation.  Some are from last year but what is time and who cares?
Boris/Uniform - Bright New Disease (2023) Birds in Row  - Gris Klein (2022) Fleshwater - We Are Not Here to Be Loved (2022) Asunojokei - Islands (2022) Everything But the Girl - Fuse (2023) Night Owls - Versions (2022)
Honorable mention Boris - Feedbacker (2003) this was my introduction to Boris. This year is the 20 year  anniversary of its release. Roberto Carlos Lange shared it with me one day while at work. He said it was something he thought I would like. Blew my mind and I have been a fan  ever since.
Favorite Concerts The Cure - State Farm Arena - also saw The Cure at Riot Fest but this was better of the 2. I regret not going to Night 2 in Atlanta because they played Disintegration.  H20 - Riot Fest 2023 Set Fleshwater - Riot Fest 2023 Set Future Islands - Shakey Knees 2023 Set The Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Shakey Knees 2023 Set Converge / Brutus - The Masquerade Drain / Drug Church - The Masquerade Donny Benet - Terminal West Idles - Re:Set 2023 Set
Favorite Food
MF Sushi - Atlanta - went twice and each time it was a special occasion.  Heirloom Market BBQ - Atlanta - best BBQ in my neck of the woods. The Aviary - Chicago - specialty cocktails with spectacular presentation.  Cafe Tola - Chicago - best empanadas i've ever had in my life.  Selva Negra - Miami - a solid contender for Nica food. Jaguar - Miami - great vibes, service and ceviche! No Hard Feelings - Chatanooga - great cocktails and vibes! 
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
Zachary Lipez
(editor at large of Creem Magazine, writer, singer of Publicist UK)
Music I made a (very) long list on my wildly popular blog, Abundant Living. But, for kicks and with the understanding that maybe you don’t feel like reading (or subscribing to) my wildly popular blog, here’s some stuff I included and some stuff I forgot (with particular attention paid to albums I think might be of particular interest to JG friends/fans but which may have slipped through the radar) (meaning: I mainly put the stuff that wasn’t on too many other lists). Fatboi Sharif Decay (Backwoodz) Skech185 He Left Nothing for the Swim Back (Backwoodz) Zohra Murder In The Temple (American Dreams) The Native Cats The Way On Is The Way Off (Chapel)  Geese 3D Country (Partisan) Gold Dime No More Blue Skies (No-Gold) Algiers Shook (Matador) EXEK The Map and the Territory (Foreign) Skinhead Everything Was Beautiful and Nothing Hurt (Closed Casket) Débruit & Alsarah Aljawal ا​ل​ج​و​ا​ل (Soundway) Fairytale Shooting Star (Toxic State) Among The Rocks and Roots Pariah (Cacophonous Revival)  Full of Hell, Nothing When No Birds Sang (Closed Casket) Uniform & Boris Bright New Disease (Sacred Bones) Sleaford Mods  UK Grim (Rough Trade) Money&King Act Unnaturally (self released) Blu Anxxiety Morbid Now, Morbid Later (Toxic State) Nana Benz du Togo  AGO (Komos) Citric Dummies Zen and the Arcade of Beating Your Ass (Feel It) Ghösh  Prismassive (Ramp Local) Peasdez  Fenomenologia Del Espiritu Agonico: De La Existencia Sordida Al Pendulo De La Nada (SPHC) Upper Wilds Jupiter (Thrill Jockey) Death Valley Girls Islands In The Sky (Suicide Squeeze) Raphael Rogiński Talán  Body Void Atrocity Machine (Prosthetic) Feeling Figures Migration Magic (Perennial) Ryan Davis & the Roadhouse Band  Dancing on the Edge (Sophomore Lounge) Nosaj from New Kingdom & steel tipped dove House of Disorder (Fused Arrow Records) mclusky unpopular parts of a pig / the digger you deep (self released) Advertisement Escorts (Feel It) King Vision Ultra  Shook World (hosted by Algiers) (PTP)
Live Shows that Stand Out In My Memory Moor Mother/Armand Hammer/The Caretaker/Raphael Roginski for the Unsound Fest at Lincoln Center (I covered this for The Quietus if yr interested) Sleaford Mods at Coachella (profiled them for CREEM) Lydia Lunch/Zohra at St.Vitus Lydia Lunch Retrovirus last American show ever (?) at TV Eye Various skinhead/nü oï bands at the Monarch/TV Eye etc. with Liberty & Justice being the standout Son Rompe Pera at TV Eye Chisel (the Ted Leo outfit, not the neo-bootboy band with the “the” in their name) at LPR
BOOKS My phone has pretty much eliminated my ability to read. I did read the first 100 pages of more books than I care to admit. I finally finished Mark Andrews’ Paint My Name In Black and Gold: The Rise of the Sisters of Mercy and I recommend it if, like me, you think The Sisters of Mercy are better than the Beatles (or whatever inane comparison annoys your friends the most). I also discovered Gene Wolfe and read the first book in the Book of the New Sun trilogy. Otherwise, it’s pretty much been just using Louise Glück poetry as inspiration to write terrible versions of Louise Glück poetry. 
TV Doom Patrol Pokerface Rick and Morty (idc idc idc idc) HasanAbi twitch stream  A ludicrous amount of Britbox mysteries and—passively, yes, but not without a fair amount of emotional investment—various Real Housewife shows/spinoffs
Movies Didn’t watch any new movies this year but I did have a lot of youtube videos playing in the background while I did other things, and sometimes those videos would be three hour long screeds about what was wrong with a number of movies I’d never heard of. So I feel like I got the gist. 
LIFE Converted to Islam and married Zohra in January. Both choices have proven to be rewarding as all hell. Cashing in my “as a Jew I…” argument card—while simultaneously being too new a Muslim to reasonably claim either special knowledge and/or marginalization status—has really fucked with my ability to be self-righteous online. But the love that Zohra and her family have shown me has more than made up for my newfound inability to really wipe the floor with a motherfucker in the instagram comments. In fact, I liked marrying Zohra so much that I did it again in December (first time was a religious ceremony, the second time was our rendering to Caesar etc). If you know me/us and weren’t invited to either that’s because essentially no one was. As my parents couldn’t attend (on account of being dead) I didn’t really see the point of a big party. That was perhaps selfish. We love you (probably) and will have some sort of to-do in 2024. 
Otherwise, I am still very much enjoying working for the new CREEM Magazine (please subscribe) and doing my newsletter (please subscribe). Musically, I lived vicariously through Zohra and the release of her first solo album. Murder In The Temple, with amazing production by Ben Greenberg and contributions by Lydia Lunch, is a synthesis of so many of Zohra’s obsessions. It’s unlike anything in the post-goth-dark-whatever sphere and I can’t express how proud I am of it and her. As for my music, I did some neat-o Scientists-esque stuff with Telematics (Sohrab Habibion, Robert Austin, and Alexis Fleisig) and Zohra and I did a Sheer Terror cover in the style of Tindersticks to commemorate Paul Bearer’s marriage. Also, I’m pretty sure my most successful band (Publicist UK) got dropped by our label (apparently taking eight years to finish a demo is a long time) so get at me if you have a low-to-mid tier label and want to put out an album of eight minute gothic metal songs with zero mosh parts, about an aging hipster loving his wife and cats and missing his dead mom and dad. C’mon, do it. You’d be printing money. 
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
Jim Siegel
Vivid Oblivion
Records And Other Things I Liked In 2023
Lankum - False Lankum (Rough Trade)
Milford Graves with Arthur Doyle and Hugh Glover - Children Of The Forest (Black Editions Archive)
Nakibembe Embaire Group (Nyege Nyege Tapes)
Henning Christiansen - Mediterranean Music-Water (Holidays)
Alain Goraguer - La Planete Sauvage (Expanded) (Decca)
Phill Niblock - Boston III (Alga Marghen)
Sam McLoughlin & David Chatton Barker - The Heavenly Realms (Folklore Tapes)
Svitlana Nianio & Tom James Scott - Eye Of The Sea (Skire)
Half Mortal - Creature Of Christ (Hospital Productions)
Pharoah Sanders - Pharoah box (Luaka Bop)
Ragnar Johnson & Jessica Mayer - Spirit Cry Flutes And Bamboo Jews Harps From Papua New Guinea (Ideologic Organ)
PJ Harvey - I Inside The Old Year Dying (Partisan)
Jana Winderen - The Blue Beyond (Touch)
Rezzett - Meant Like This (The Trilogy Tapes)
Arsenije Jovanovic - Sailboat Galiola Nuria's Unfinished Logbook (Pentiments)
Only Voices Vol. 1 + 2 (DDS)
Wounded Son - Pain Is All I Have For You (Hospital Productions)
Various - Cease & Resist: Sonic Subversion & Anarcho Punk In The UK 1979-1986 (Optimo Music)
Umeko Ando - Upopo Sanke (Pingipung)
Philip Jeck & Chris Watson - Oxmardyke (Touch)
Lori Vambe - Space-Time Dreamtime: The Four Dimensional Music Of Lori Vambe (Strut)
Mozart Estate - Pop-Up! Ker-Ching! And The Possibilities Of Modern Shopping (West Midlands)
Sandwell District - Feed Forward box (The Point Of Departure)
Japan Blues - Japan Blues Meets The Dengie Hundred (DDS)
Various - A Web Of Braided Willow - The Folklore Of The Wickerman (Folklore Tapes)
Surgeon - Crash Recoil (Tresor)
Mark Glynne And Bart Zwier - Home Comfort (La Scie Doree)
Ariel Kalma - French Archives Vol. III 1964-89 (Black Sweat)
Marginal Consort - 06 06 16 (St Elisabeth Kirche, Berlin) (901 Editions)
Brendan Perry - Eye Of The Hunter / Live At The I.C.A (4AD)
The Complete Obscure Records Collection box (Dialogo)
Various - Avant Garde 21xCD Box (Deutsche Grammophon)
Bill Nace Live at Public Records, December 2023
The Elephant 6 Recording Co. Documentary
Squaring The Circle - The Story Of Hipgnosis 
Shame And Dignity with Stanley Schtinter and Sukhdev Sandhu at UnionDocs, NY November 2023
Godland, dir. Hlynur Palmason
Wawa Pretzel w/ Melted Cheese (Sandwich)
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
Simon Karis
(CEO of Nice Music, recording artist)
Okay so fave releases of 2023
Absurd Cosmos Late Nite 'These Magic Clothes Don't Play Themselves' (Reseach Laboratories) Actress 'LXXXVIII' (Ninja Tune) Armand Hammer 'We Buy Diabetic Test Strips' (Fat Possum) Danny Brown 'Quaranta' (Warp) De-Bons-En-Pierre 'Card Short Of A Full Deck' (Dark Entries) Evian Christ 'Revanchist' (Warp) Eyes Of The Amaryllis 'Perceptible To Everyone' (Horn Of Plenty) Francis Plagne 'Into Closed Air' (Bison) Francis Plagne 'Udge' (Horn Of Plenty) Giuseppe Ielasi 'Down On Darkened Meetings' (Black Truffle) HHOST 'Windswept Italics' (Altered States Tapes) HHOST 'Veil' (Snail Editions) JPEGMAFIA & Danny Brown 'Scaring The Hoes' (no label) Kassell Jaeger 'Shifted In Dreams' (Shelter Press) Khanate 'To Be Cruel' (Sacred Bones) Klein 'Doubt'/'Normani's Torment'/'STORM' (no label) L'Rain 'I Killed Your Dog' (Mexican Summer) Land's Air 'Land's Air' (Tone List) Locust 'The First Cause' (Mysteries Of The Deep) Low Flung 'The Wheel' (Snail Editions) Matt Harkin 'The Door Knocker' (no label) Nick Ashwood 'Inside The Body Of A Wave' (no label) Nuno Loureiro 'Lua Onus' (Super Pang) Patten 'Mirage FM' (555-5555) Pissed Jeans 'No Convenient Apocalypse' (Sub Pop) Princess Nokia 'I Love You But This Is Goodbye' (Arista) Red Wine & Sugar 'Turkish Coffee & Twice Baked Potatoes' (Chocolate Monk) Rezzett 'Meant Like This' (The Trilogy Tapes) Richard Youngs 'Modern Sorrow' (Black Truffle) Rory J S 'P' (no label) Rrose 'Please Touch' (Eaux) Solo Andata 'Slip Casting' (12k) WPH 'III' (no label) 100 Gecs '10,000 Gecs' (Dog Show/Atlantic)
fave back catalogue listens that made sense in 2023 Armand Hammer & The Alchemist 'Haram' (Backwoodz Studioz) Beherit 'H418ov21.C' (Spinefarm) Bernard Parmegiani 'De Natura Sonorum' (INA-GRM) Bowery Electric 'Beat' (Kranky) Charalambides 'Exile' (Kranky) Def Leppard 'Hysteria' (Mercury) Elastica 'Elastica' (Deceptive/Geffen) Elucid 'I Told Bessie' (Backwoodz Studioz) Emptyset 'Demiurge' (Subtext) Emptyset 'Recur' (Raster-Noton) Hematic Sunsets 'Musik Aus Dem Aroma Club' (Klang Der Festung) Joey Beltram 'Classics' (R&S) Ka 'Languish Arts' (Iron Works) Kim Cascone 'Cathodeflower' (Ritornell) The Kinks 'Lola Vs Powerman And The Moneygoround Part One' (Reprise/Pye) Kreator 'Terrible Certainty' (Noise International) Lol Coxhill & Morgan Fisher 'Slow Music' (Pipe/Aguirre) Low 'Hey What' (Sub Pop) Marsfield 'The Towering Sky' (Faraway Press) Massive Attack 'Mezzanine' (Virgin) Matt Harkin 'Sanctuary 1, 2015-2016' (Hobbies Galore) Maurizio Bianchi 'Endometrio'  (no label/Dais) Moodymann 'Mahogany Brown' (Peacefrog) Moor Mother & billy woods 'Brass' (Backwoodz Studioz) Nearly God 'Nearly God'  (4th & Broadway) Nightcrawlers '2031 AD' (no label) Richard Youngs 'Beyond The Valley Of The Ultrahits' (Sonic Oyster) Rita Revell 'I Had A Very Bad Time!' (Happy Endin') Roc Marciano 'Reloaded' (Decon) Seine Trance-Parenz Fredi Alberti 'Klaenge Aus Dem Engelsraum (Die Verdunklung Der Sonne Und Des Mondes)' (Scribble Art) Simbiosi 'Elements' (Werkdiscs) Suede 'Dog Man Star' (Nude) Valerio Tricoli 'Say Goodbye To The Wind' (Shelter Press) 100 Gecs '1000 Gecs' (Dog Show)
fave melbourne/naarm restaurants in 2023
Khabbay (Indian/Pakistani, Carlton) Laksa Village (Malaysian/Chinese, Donvale) Cinger Biang Biang (Dolan/Uyghur/Chinese, Carlton) Lim Kopi (Malaysian, Naarm/Melbourne CBD) Raya (South East Asian desserts, Naarm/Melbourne CBD) Taste Hunan (Hunan/Sichuan/Chinese, Naarm/Melbourne, CBD) Laksa House (Malaysian, Naarm/Melbourne, CBD)
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
Brendon Randall-Myers
(composer, Scarcity, Marateck, Glenn Branca Ensemble)
If 2022 was the Return of the Show and the Return of Travel, 2023 was about Building Stability (i.e. making my teaching studio a primary income source), Hunkering Down to Finish Two Albums, and Re-Learning How to Be a Human Being. I also played a bunch of cool shows with Dither (collabs w/ Carla Kilhlstedt, Lee Ranaldo/Brian Chase, Amirtha Kidambi, AJ Santillan, and Laurie Spiegel; playing Electric Counterpoint on GFA), a couple fun Scarcity shows (playing with Liturgy, improvising on graphic scores by Anthony Hawley) and did some performances with Whimbrels and Contemporaneous. 
These were albums I enjoyed (incessantly) at some point during 2023 that were mostly - but not exclusively - also released in 2023.
Agriculture - Agriculture Armand Hammer - We Buy Diabetic Test Strips Arnold Dreyblatt - Resolve Big Brave - Nature Morte Blackbraid - Blackbraid II Bummer - Dead Horse Caroline Polachek - Desire, I Want to Turn Into You goat (JP) - Joy in Fear Goldfeather - Change JPEGMAFIA & Danny Brown - SCARING THE HOES Jute Gyte - Unus Mundus Patet KEN Mode - VOID Killing Joke - Night Time Krallice - Mass Cathexis 2 - The Kinetic Infinite Model/Actriz - Dogsbody Modern Nature - How to Live  Nabihah Iqbal - Dreamer Neil Young - Greatest Hits Oren Ambarchi - Shebang Pink Pantheress - Heaven knows The Prodigy - The Fat of the Land  Rid Of Me - Traveling  Slowspin - Talisman Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream Swans - The Beggar Trauma Bond - Winter’s Light  Tristan Kasten-Krause and Jessica Pavone - Images of One Victory Over the Sun - Dance You Monster To My Soft Song! Yaeji - With A Hammer
Here were some shows I attended:
Wolf Eyes + Raven Chacon @Union Pool Liturgy @TV Eye Gamelan Dharma Swara, Ridgewood Presbyterian Church Moor Mother @Merkin Hall Object Collection @The Brick Theater Spectral Wound @Saint Vitus Pyrrhon + Barrsheadahl @Saint Vitus The Smile @Forest Hills Stadium Krallice @Saint Vitus Mediaqueer @Windjammer Sarah Hennies + Tristan Kasten-Krause @Issue Project Room Peter and the Wolf @Guggenheim Model/Actriz @Music Hall of Williamsburg  
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
Grace Bergere
(songwriter / singer / performer)
This year was full of firsts for me! 
Definitely the most musically eventful year of my life to date. I went on my first tour playing bass with my great friends in COP/OUT, supporting Days n' Daze (A band I'd been listening to for years as a young punk kid.)  I immediately realized touring is really all I want to do.  I also got to tour alongside Subhumans in Cop/Out. Meeting them and getting to know them was mind expanding.  They were all kind and humble thoughtful individuals, completely down to earth and engaged with everyone they spoke to. Every night across the midwest they brought the crowd to a cathartic screaming euphoric mess. Working with COP/OUT, whose message is so clear; to be good to each other, question everything even when it means swimming upstream with every bit of strength you have, filled me with hope.  Playing on that tour with them, and watching Subhumans every night reminded me the power of music to affect real social change which is something I believed to have been  lost in recent years.  I met my great friend Jessica Mills on that tour and we still talk all the time. 
I also started playing guitar in The Art Gray Noizz Quintet. One of my longtime favorite bands (that my very talented cool boyfriend happens to play bass in.) We went all across the West Coast, landing in Las Vegas. Playing with them has demanded I advance as a guitarist, stepping into Andrea Sicco's shoes. Andrea is a complete beast of a musician and all of his musical projects are awesome. Check out MOVIE MOVIE, his most recent project. 
I also joined Crazy And The Brains on second guitar. They’re a super fun high energy punk band. I love being around such positive fun loving musicians and watching them bounce around while I do my best to keep up. 
I recently finished recording my album at HOBO SOUND in Hoboken by James Frazee. The time and effort it took over the several years since I started, was at times grueling. But James never stopped caring or checked out. He helped me shape this album into something I am truly proud of, along with Richard Dev Greene, one of the first people to ever believe in my music. I am so grateful to both of them.
I started spending time with Victoria and Kay of Puzzled Panther. They quickly have become two of my best friends. It is so meaningful for me to have found such badass, driven young women to share a dream with. Puzzled Panther is raw and hypnotizing. They have a unique strong hold over their audience and every show of theirs I’ve been to has been fantastic.  Victoria has joined me a few times on a song at my shows, and every time I believe has been one of the strongest points in my set. 
I Met Eugene Hutz of Gogol Bordello (the first huge band I ever went to see as a young teenager.)  He will be releasing my upcoming single and video for “Come And Go”  on his label Casa Gogol Records in early 2024. 
I just played the biggest show I’ve ever played with my solo project that plays under my name.  We were on a bill with Gogol Bordello and JON SPENCER (Also one of my favorite artists.)  Being on that stage standing there in front of more people I’ve ever seen in an audience from that vantage point, I felt like every second of my life was leading to that moment. Each song brought me back to the time in my life when Id written it and it felt very much like watching my life projected in front of me. It was indescribably satisfying to be on that stage. Later, in the audience, I screamed along to Gogol and watched my mom dance to songs she'd heard me blasting through the house as a kid, and felt just as moved by them as I did as a young teenager the first time I saw them.
I am so grateful to be working with Eugene. He is kind and thoughtful in his feedback and hugely supportive of me and my dreams. 
I will be playing New Years Eve with the Art Gray Noizz Quintet before Kid Congo Powers and The Pink Monkey Birds !!
This last week I can honestly say, has been the best of my life to date. Like looking out over a valley after climbing for years.
BEST SHOWS
(other than the ones I was lucky enough to play at listed above) 
RICHARD DAWSON 
I got to see Richard Dawson three whole times!!! it was his first US appearance. He is a completely unique force. I’ve never seen such a captivated crowd. we all cried and screamed along with him. 
PIGS X 7 
One of those times he was playing with Pigs x7. They quickly became another favorite band of mine despite having severe technical difficulties. it was actually kind of a highlight because their front man just started joking around and had the entire audience laughing along with him and talking for about 10 minutes. I got to see them two other times that went perfectly. What a band.. 
JON SPENCER AND THE HIT MAKERS
I saw them at TV Eye. I had been able to squeeze myself into the DJ booth for their set. They hammered away into some kind of magical hypnosis that made me feel like I'd taken MDMA. (I had not.) I had to lean against a wall to keep my balance. They played with Licks, a badass 60s garage rock inspired band fronted by my friend Skunk. 
LYDIA LUNCH RETROVIRUS 
Also driving and hypnotic and loud as hell. I was left with a similar feeling of having been dosed with something at all of their shows…
JOSEPH KECKLER
The first time I saw Joseph perform was at TV eye with Lydia Lunch. He’s completely unique. He writes gorgeous songs that he sings in an incomprehensibly wide range, sometimes in languages that he has invented himself! His seamlessly mixes humor with honest beautiful songwriting.
SONGS I LISTENED TO A BILLION TIMES THIS YEAR. 
ART GRAY NOIZZ QUINTET- Lie Come True  JOSEPH KECKLER- The Ride JON SPENCER AND THE HIT MAKERS- Death Ray  GOGOL BORDELLO- Shot Of Solidaritine  PUZZLED PANTHER- Smoke And The Mirrors We Broke  PIGSX 7 - Reducer  ARCHERS OF LOAF- Banging On a Dead Drum 
OLDER HITS THAT WERE NEW TO ME
LAURIE ANDERSON- Poison  POISON GIRLS- Fear Of Freedom CULTURE SHOCK- Things To Do  CAPTAIN BEEFHEART- Tropical Hot Dog WARREN ZEVON- Desperados Under The Eves MINNIE RIPERTON- Les Fleurs  BOBBY GENTRY - Ode To Billy Joe TOWNES VAN ZANDT- Highway Kind
BOOKS 
Joseph Keckler-  Dragon at the edge of a flat world.  Mark Lanegan- Sing Backwards and Weep Miriam Toews- Fight Night
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
Marc Urselli
producer / engineer / sound designer
I want to thank JG Thirlwell for inviting me to submit my 2023 Year in Review. I had never done one of these before and it's been a fun challenge to go through my calendar and social media to remember and realize how much I was able to pack into this year! Selecting and writing down all of these things also helped me further grasp and understand how tremendously privileged and lucky I am to be able to do what I love all year around, year after year, and to live my life to the fullest and according to my own wishes and my own design. I don't take this lightly and I don't take it for granted. I am very aware that it comes from hard work, limitless passion and unweavery dedication, not just luck and good fortune, but nevertheless I am grateful every single day for this life and for being healthy, being able to do all of this, and for all the people in my path who trust me, inspire me, support me, challenge me, and enlighten me!
STUDIO SESSIONS, ALBUMS & PRODUCTIONS When compiling this list, it really dawned on me how fortunate I am to be working with such incredible talents and how priviledged I am to be able to witness, participate and contribute to the creation of exceptional works such as the following:
Producing, Recording & Mixing sessions with David J of Bauhaus, Norwegian artist Ihsahn (of Emperor) & Toby Driver (of Kyao Dot), John Stanier (of Battles), Brian Chase (of Yeah Yeah Yeahs), Restless Spirit, Vicki Peterson (of the Bangles), John Cowsill (of the Cowsill Family and The Beach Boys touring band) and many others for my new RAMONES tribute album to come out next year on Magnetic Eye records
Producing, Recording and Mixing a cover of Soundgarden's song "4th of July" with my doom metal / throat singing project SteppenDoom for the Magnetic Eye album "Soundgarden (Redux) and featuring Matt Cameron of Soundgarden themselves on drums
seeing the release of Brian Carpenter's "Ghost Train Orchestra & Kronos Quartet - The Music of Moondog" album featuring Kronos Quartet (which I recorded at EastSide Sound) and many other amazing guest artists
Producing, Recording, Mixing, and Mastering a live album by Brazilian artists Zé Ibarra, Dora Morelenbaum and Julia Mestre of Bala Desejo for Glasshaus Presents & Tower Records
Mixing new albums by Glenn Max Vanderwolf (produced by Dennis Martin), by Bloodmist (Toby Driver, Mario Diaz De Leon, Jeremiah Cymermann), and by Ikue Mori & Zeena Parkins at EastSide Sound fully utilizing the analog console and the analog outboard gear (something nowadays is more and more rare)
Recording & Mixing 6 new albums by John Zorn this year alone, which brings my total JZ count to over 120 albums, and which as of this year can finally be heard on streaming platforms as well!
Recording and Producing a new album by Marco Cappelli's Italian-inspired band IDR at EastSide Sound in NYC and then going to Rome, Italy to overdub trombone and vocals with famed contemporary Neapolitan singer Raiz
Producing, Recording, Mixing, and Mastering 2 new albums by incognito jazz / blues artist Russell Orr with legendary Brian Marsella & Brian Mitchell on keys, respectively
Recording, Mixing, and Mastering two new albums by Jessica Pavone and her trio
Producing, Recording, Mixing and Mastering a "We Are the World"-type track for NYC Mayor's Office of Immigrant Affairs with a song composed by Captain Beefheart / Jeff Buckley's guitarist Gary Lucas and 10 other musicians from various parts of the world playing their local instruments and singing in their mother's tongue
Recording and Mixing the new album by Italian singer/songwriter Beppe Voltarelli, produced by Simone Giuliani, which took second place in Italy's Premio Tenco
Recording a new film score by composer Billy Martin (of Medeski, Martin & Wood) and arranged by Simon Hanes (of Tredici Bacci)
Producing, Recording, Mixing, and Mastering contemporary classical music sessions commissioned by Miller Theater and Columbia University with artists such as Laura Barger & Julia Den Boer, Miguel Zenon, Matt Mitchell & Miles Okazaki, Russell Greenberg & Vicky Chow
Recording new albums by contemporary classical/jazz musicians such as Miles Okazaki, Brian Drye, Anna Webber & Matt Mitchell and others Recording new albums by amazing Latin Jazz artists such as Gili Lopes, Homan Alvarez, Rodrigo Recabarren, Benjamin Furman
seeing the HBO release of John Lurie’s “Painting with John” new season where all the music was recorded & mixed by me and seeing my face briefly on TV
recording in an old church in Italy with Adriano Viterbini and Vincenzo Vasi for a project that will come out sometimes next year hopefully 
SOUND DESIGN GIGS & LIVE SOUND MIXING GIGS Similarly to the list above, I am eternally greatful for the fact that all these wonderfully talented people trust me with designing, mixing and amplifying their sound so that the rest of the world can truly and fully experience their art in the most complete, sonically articulated, detailed and full spectrum way there is! Some of these highlights include:
Mixing a 90-piece orchestra + 90-piece choir playing the score to Stanley Kubrick "2001: A Space Odyssey" live-to-picture  conducted by Brad Lubman in the Auditorio Nacional of Mexico City to a sold-out crowd of 10'000 people 
Mixing the Grammy Award Premiere Ceremony in Los Angeles and being there to amplify and mix the immensely talented house band led by Cheche Alara and the performances by musicians such as Samara Joy, Anoushka Shankar, Arooj Aftab and more…
Mixing the Robbie Robertson tribute concert & memorial organized by Martin Scorsese at Village Studios in Los Angeles with artists such as Jackson Browne, Jason Isbell, Rocco DeLuca, Citizen Cope, Angela McCluskey, Blake Mills and Jim Keltner
Mixing the National Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony concert at the White House with artists such as Dionne Warwick, Samara Joy, Joe Walsh of the Eagles, St. Vincent and others.
Sound Designing and Mixing the world premiere of "Perle Noire: Meditations for Joséphine" at the DNO Dutch National Opera House in Amsterdam, a beautiful performance/concert/opera directed by Peter Sellars, composed by Tyshawn Sorey and performed by Tyshawn Sorey and ICE International Contemporary Ensemble with soprano Julia Bullock
One of my sound design pieces inspired by Icelandic nature sounds and folklore was presented at the "Le Son 7" Art Gallery in Madrid between the 3rd and the 13th of May 2023, after it was presented the year before in London and will be presented in January 2024 in New York
mixing 12 shows by John Zorn in 2 days at Big Ears Festival in Knoxville TN
mixing more shows by John Zorn to celebrate his 70th birthday in places like Walker Art Center in Minneapolis, Miller Theater in New York, Reggio Emilia and Modena in Italy, Philharmonie in Paris, November Music Festival in Den Bosch Netherlands and Mexico City
Mixing Brian Carpenter's Ghost Train Orchestra live at Roulette with special guests David Byrne, Karen Mantler, Joan As Policewoman AND doing so right after I mixed another matinee gig earlier in the day with the New York Choral Society
working sound for the Met Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art with musical guests Lizzo and David Byrne
Mixing Claudia Acuna at Lincoln Center
mixing Idina Menzel's performance in Trafalgar Square in London for Gay Pride 2023
playing keys (something I almost never ever do!) for Japanese electronic artist Coppé's first-ever performance in Italy
mixing my first ever K-pop gig in Times Square NY
teaching Mixing Workshops at SAE in Mexico City and MOB Studios in Rome, Italy
RECORDS In no particular order, here are some of my favorite records of 2023 that I was not involved with but I wish I had been ;-)
Anohni and the Johnsons "My Back Was a Bridge for you to Cross"
Lil Yachty "Let's Start Here"
Boygenius "The Record"
Ryuichi Sakamoto "12"
Jaimie Branch "Fly or Die Fly or Die Fly or Die ((World War))"
Arooj Aftab / Vijay Iyer / Shahzad Ismaily "Love in Exile"
Peter Gabriel "I/O"
Hania Rani "Ghosts"
Meshell Ndegeocello "The Omnichord Real Book"
Bill Frisell "Four" - Ambrose Akinmusire, Bill Frisell, Herlin Riley "Owl song"
Porcupine Tree "Closure / Continuation"
Dr. John "The Brightest Smile in Town"
Spencer Zahn "Statues II"
Meshuggah "Chaosphere 25th anniversary 2023 Remastered edition"
Ennio Morricone "Segreto Songbook 1962-1973"
Sin Fang, Kjartan Holm "Angakok"
MUSIC SHOWS It's always hard for me to recount the shows I've seen because I usually see about 300-500 shows every year. LPR (Le Poisson Rouge) definitely shines through as my favorite venue and the one I've visited most often! Here are some of the highlights of 2023:
Spotlights, Imperial Triumphant, Puzzled Panthers at Saint Vitus
"La Splendida", a heavy metal opera by Laurent David & Kilter at Culture Lab LIC
Exotech 3 times, at Public Records, Mark Morris Dance Theater and at LPR
Tredici Bacci at least 2-3 times, one of which at Sultan Room
John Cale at Paradiso, Amsterdam
Plini at Melkweg, Amsterdam
Mary Halvorson Quintet at Bimhuis, Amsterdam
Thurston Moore at OCCII, Amsterdam
Jeff Goldblum at Town Hall
Xylorius White at LPR
Hal Willner's Amarcord tribute concert at Roulette
Snarky Puppy at Beacon Theater
Tim Bernardes at LPR
Groa at Taste of Iceland showcase at Pianos
JG Thirlwell & Mivos Quartet at National Sawdust
Bloodywood at Irving Plaza
Hermeto Pascoal twice, at Pioneer Works and LPR
Sexmob at Fotografiska
Grace Jones at Hammerstein Ballroom
Lisa Fisher at Blue Note
Iggy Pop and Debbie Harry / Blondie, London
Laurie Anderson & SexMob Let X=X at Barbican in London and BAM in Brooklyn - The Cult at MEDIMEX festival in Taranto, Italy - Tom Morello at MEDIMEX festival in Taranto, Italy
Emperor at Kings Theater
Ibrahim Malouff at Drom - Elan Mehler & Dave Douglas at Fotografiska
The Misfits at Prudential Center - Oumou Sangare at Brooklyn Bandshell
Red Fang at Gramercy Theater
The Eagles & Steely Dan at MSG - Tammy Faye Starlight at Joe's Pub
Julian Lage at Village Vanguard - Mdou Moctar at Summerstage
Makaya McCraven at Locus Festival, in Locorotondo Italy
Fatoumata Diawara at Locus Festival, in Locorotondo Italy
Sisters of Mercy at Cinzella Festival, in Grottaglie Italy
SunRa Arkestra at Locus Festival, in Locorotondo Italy
Robert Plant at Locus Festival, in Bari Italy
Mr. Bungle at Terminal 5
Melvins, Boris and all the other amazing bands at Desert Fest at Knockdown Center
Front Line Assembly at LPR
Peter Gabriel at MSG
Empire State Bastard at LPR & St Vitus
Cavalera Conspiracy at Irving Plaza
Swans at Music Hall of Williamsburg - Steven Bernstein w/ Millennial Territory at Dizzy's
Nick Cave & Jonny Greenwood  3 times, twice at Beacon Theater and once at Kings Theater
The Mission at LPR - Titan to Tychons at NuBlu
Dresden Dolls at Bowery Ballroom
Robert Glasper's Art Blakey tribute at Blue Note - Puzzled Panthers at Bowery Electric
Ghost Train Orchestra at Roulette
Arthur Brown in London
The Mongol Khan theater production at the Coliseum in London 
8 Bit Big Band at Sony Hall
Bud Spencer Blues Explosion at Monk in Rome Italy
plus all the amazing artists I can't recall individually that I have seen at Winter Jazz Festival, Long Play Festival and Big Ears Festival
BOOKS I am sadly a slow reader and my pile of books on my bedside table is always bigger than the time awake I have when I finally do get to bed, but here are some I have read, or started to read or am planning on starting to read:
Kid Congo Powers "Some New Kind Of Kick"
Nick Cave & Seán O'Hagan "Faith, Hope and Carnage"
Warren Ellis "Nina Simone's Gum"
Rick Rubin "The Creative Act: A Way of Being"
Quincy Jones "12 Notes: On Life and Creativity"
Quincy Trouple "Miles & Me"
MUSEUMS I try to visit museums in every city I go to, whether I am on tour, working, traveling for pleasure or whatever the reason is… Art is my passion, my love and a way of life…
Museu Picasso, Barcelona, Spain
Fundcaio Joan Miró, Barcelona, Spain
The Salvador Dali Theater and Museum, Figueres, Spain
Salvador Dalí House / Fundació Gala, Cadaqués, Port Lligat, Spain
Park Gúell, Barcelona, Spain
Moco Museum, Barcelona, Spain
Sagrada Familia, Barcelona, Spain
Vermeer Exhibit, Rijksmuseum, Amsterdam, Netherlands
Moco Museum, Amsterdam, Netherlands
Rijksmuseum, Amsterdam, Netherlands
Amsterdam Museum, Amsterdam, Netherlands
Stedelijk Museum, Amsterdam, Netherlands
Van Gogh Museum, Amsterdam, Netherlands
Art on Paper, New York
Frieze, New York
Karl Lagerfled "A Line of Beauty", Metropolitan Museum of Art, NY
Yayoi Kusama "Infinity Mirror Rooms", Tate Modern, London, UK
Frida Kahlo & Diego Riviera House & Studio, Mexico City
Palacio De Bellas Artes, Mexico City
Museo Jumex, Mexico City
Museo Tamayo Arte Contemporanea, Mexico City
Paul Gugelmann "Poetic Machines", Aarau, Switzerland
MOVIES There are soooo many movies I still want to / need to see… I love movies but I prioritize work and live music in my life and I will only watch movies on planes, on (very very) rainy days or those rare times when I don't have a concert on my calendar, so here are a few of those rainy/non-concert films, in no particular order:
Killers of the Flower Moon (for the story, the acting and the soundtrack)
Equalizer 3 (because aside from its Hollywood-ish story and ending, it's a realistic look at how organized crime works in Italy)
Little Richard: I am Everything (for his story, his character, his music and his courage!)
Psychedelicized: The Electric Circus Stroy (for the amazing portrait of a time that's past but that changed NYC forever!)
American Symphony (for the amazing story, talent, spirit and courage of Jon Batiste)
32 Sounds (because my life is about sound…)
Hallelujah: Leonard Cohen, A Journey, A Song (because Leonard was an amazing artist and songwriter and singer and so many friends are in this movie)
Oppenheimer (because that history is so complex and so divided as the country in which it took place)
TRAVEL Travel is the richess of life! I travel SO MUCH that I am on a plane AT LEAST once a month and usually it is to an international location… This year was no different, so I've decided to only list 12 trips for this section:
January: Ringing in the year in a medieval tower in Barcelona and spending the first 4 days of the new year trying all the tapas bars, restaurants, food stands this beautiful city has to offer and seing the Sagrada Familia cathedral for the 3rd time in my life
February: Living in Amsterdam for 3 weeks visiting all the musuems, all the music venues and all the while working at the Dutch National Opera with some amazing folks (see list above)
March: Snowboarding the Swiss and the French alps
April: Visiting Knoxville Tennessee for Big Ears (easily the best independent music festival in the US!!!) for the 2nd time in 2 years, and hopefully the beginning of many more visits in the future!
May: Spending time in sunny Los Angeles and plotting a way to spend more time there and make music
June: Visiting London twice in one month to work and see amazing music shows, theater shows and art exhibits
July: coming back from London on July 6th only to realize that strangely there is no travel for the rest of this month! So weird and unusual!
August: Spending the month in Puglia, Southern Italy eating good food, kitesurfing in the Adriatic and Ionium sea, seeing tons of concerts and playing one myself!
September: arriving in Mexico City and getting my very own police escort motorcade to make it in time from the airport to the theater
October: On tour with John Zorn in Italy, France and the Netherlands
November: Flying to Los Angeles with a 36 hour notice for a concert I was hired for in secrecy having been told "we need a mixing engineer who can mix music for a room full of musicians" and showing up for the Robbie Robertson tribute orgnaized by Martin Scorsese with people like Joni Mitchell and Leonardo DiCaprio in attendance
December: DC-to-DF aka flying to Washgington DC to work at the White House and then flying straight to Mexico City I've finished the year with travel to my motherland of Switzerland, my fatherland of Italy and my second home of London UK!
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
DJ Food aka Kevin Foakes
Music: Kosmischer Laufer - Volume 5 LP (UCR) Soia, Julien Sénélas, Jérôme Vassereau - In C for 11 Oscillators and 53 Forms LP (unjenesaisquoi) Cate Brooks - Tapeworks DL (Cafe Kaput) Memorials - Music For Film: Tramps! LP (State 51 Conspiracy) King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - PetroDragonic Apocalypse… LP (Album of the year) Brian Eno - The Lighthouse radio station (Sonos) (most listened to) Niholoxica - Source of Denial LP (Crammed Discs) SareemOne - Olivine Window Coast Contra - Breathe & Stop Freestyle/Never Freestyle/Scenario Freestyle Move78 - Grains LP Heiroglyphic Being - The Moon Dance LP (Apnea) Raj Pannu - Past Crimes EP 12" (To Pikap Records) Gordon Chapman-Fox - The Nine Travellers LP (Castles In Space Subscription Library)
Gigs / Events: Beyond The Streets exhibition @Saatchi gallery, London Sunroof / Finlay Shakespeare @iklectik, London The Light Surgeons - The Consensual Hallucination @iklectik, London Memorials at the State 51 Summer Psych party @State 51, London FogFest2 @iklectik, London JG Thirlwell & Ensemble @Bush Hall, London Machina Bristronica, Bristol Visiting Peel Acres with Eilon Paz for Dust & Grooves Nihiloxia @the Jazz Cafe, London
Design / Packaging: Yves Malone - A Hello To A Goodbye LP (Castles In Space) Drumetrics - Phuzzle (Drumetrics) Waclaw Zimpel - Train Spotter LP (State 51) David Boulter - Factory 3" CD (Clay Pipe Music) Fluctuosa - Wetware EP 12" (Analogical Force) Fluxus - Orbit & Shine LP (Castles In Space) Floating Points - Birth4000 12" (Ninja Tune) Cate Brooks - Easel Studies LP + badge (Clay Pipe Music) Brian Eno - Top Boy OST CD (Beatink)
Books / Magazines / Comics: Medical Grade Music - Steve Davis & Kavis Torabi (White Rabbit) Doctor Strange - Fall Sunrise - Tradd & Heather Moore (Marvel) Tales To Enlighten - The New Testament - Matt King and James Edward Clark Pop - Milton Glaser (Phaidon) Kevin O'Neill Apex Edition (2000AD) Mark Stafford - Salmonella Smorgasbord (Soaring Penguin Press) Savage Impressions - Bruce Lichen (Independent Project Records) Hexagon Bridge - Richard Blake (Image) Monica - Daniel Clowes (Fantagraphics) Acid Valley - Luke Insect Petrol Head - Rob Williams & Pye Parr (Image) Lawless - Dan Abnett & Phil Winslade (Rebellion) Giant Robot Hellboy - Mignola/Fegredo (Dark Horse) Facelss & The Family - Matt Lesniewski (Oni Press)
Films: Barbie Squaring The Circle : The Story of Hipgnosis
57 notes · View notes
🕸️My thoughts and feelings on Beetlejuice 🪲 (at least for a while)
I know a lot of people probably won't care but I really want to share my thoughts and talk about this character and that's what I'm going to do, There are a lot of thoughts and feelings accumulated inside my head and I need to get them out, it's a little mess but I think it will be fun to read.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I've had this on my mind for a while, which has finally become one of my biggest, if not the biggest, hyperfocuses for now and I'm going to share a little bit of it now >:)
I really didn't think I would have the courage to post this because I'm not that confident in sharing my things but I CAN'T TAKE THIS GREEN DEMON GHOST MAN OFF MY MIND😫‼️
The beginning of this happened when I was already in another hyperfocus on the character Adam from the series Hazbin hotel on Amazon(I was already a fan since the pilot on YouTube), and then a slight curiosity hit me..."Who is his voice actor?"
So I went looking for who he was and I ended up being so interested in the actor, who is Alex Brightman (I love him a lot by the way and I can't wait to go see the musical and see him in person) and also in the characters he played and voiced, and in particular one of them won my heart.😔🩷
That's exactly what you're thinking, it was Beetlejuice.
For some reason he caught my attention and over time I ended up becoming quite fond of the character, even more so when I remembered that my parents watched the character's film when I was a child, which made me even more eager to research and look for any possible bit of information on the internet that I could find.
AND YES !
I actually achieved a lot and I'm going to share it <3
Firstly, the 1988 film, which was one of the first pieces of information I found about it, after all, it was in it that the character made his debut (apart from the story of its creator Tim Burton). And I know Beetlejuice is a pervert in this movie, but I try to ignore that and try to just look at the good side of him being a good character.
Secondly, and I think this is what caught my attention the most, is the cartoon of 1989 with the same name as the character called Beetlejuice where the character acted as the protagonist alongside Lidya (In this one there's nothing about him wanting to force her to marry him like in the movie, it's just a cartoon of them having a good friendship and being best friends).
And man, the way I was happy when found out that the cartoon had 4 seasons and about 68 episodes, I was almost like that kitten TikTok meme ✨ HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY ✨
Like, wow, a source of potential Gifs, icons, dividers, photos, edits, there was so much I could do that I didn't even know where to start because of all the hustle and bustle and animation I had (And of course I spent the next few weeks pestering my friends about it during class with every little bit of information I found🤓👆).
At the moment I'm trying to look for a website that has all the episodes together or just some, but so far I've only been able to find them on old DVDs. When I can find a website I will gather all the links and post them, so that more people can watch.
And one of the best parts...I FOUND A WHOLE COLLECTION OF 🩷VALENTINES' DAY CARDS🩷 and I'll probably make another post later to post all of them or at least their links, they're all official. This made me even more excited because I love all that romantic and cute aesthetic of the Valentine's Day season, hearts, red and pink decorations, heart-shaped candy boxes, love letters, Decorated store windows, stuffed animals, I just love everything (even though I don't have a valentine, and I don't want to🙃).
To give you an idea of how focused I was on this little green-haired corpse demon ghost man, everywhere I have the opportunity I make doodles or drawings of him all over the places, walls, notebooks, tests, napkins, classroom board, and in my sketchbook, in which I'm making an entire page dedicated just to him and Lidya, which maybe later I'll post too. Even more so after I managed to find several official reference sheets from the studio that designed and animated the cartoon, so now the drawings will be much better.💋
There is so much information that I managed to find that I am having to organize my thoughts because unfortunately I am very agitated and anything takes my focus easily, but as soon as I can really focus on that, it feels like I'm somewhere else.
But now talking about the Broadway musical, (which as said before has my beloved Alex Brightman as the main actor), I've always liked the idea of musicals, and even more so when his story is about my favorite character, and speaking of musicals, I REALLY WAS OBSESSED WITH THE SONG "SAY MY NAME" 😫🩷
And oh boy, I spend almost all day singing it or with it resonating in my mind, whenever I read, write, draw or do anything to do with Beetlejuice, I put on my headphones and listen this song as if it were the greatest masterpiece made in history.
AND I'M SORRY BUT I NEED TO SHARE THIS SONG WITH YOU GUYS
youtube
Leaving the character a little, and going to the actor...he is simply the SWEETEST AND CUTEST MAN I'VE EVER SEEN!!
After I discovered that he voiced the characters that I like most in the Hazbin Hotel fandom and played the character that I like so much, I developed a huge affection for him, not just for his work, but because he is so sweet, fun and funny that I can't help but love everything and everything I find about this man online.
Alex Brightman bringing the character Beetlejuice to life and voicing Adam, Fizzarolli and Sir Pentious
youtube
That's it for now ,folks, that's all I have stuck in my mind for now or at least what I can remember
I apologize if this isn't so good, I'm writing this while I'm at school at 7am after waking up at 5am while my body is sore after a presentation.
So, thank you for reading 💞
23 notes · View notes
resonancewitness · 3 months
Text
Falling down the rabbit hole (or was it the lion’s den?), becoming a turtle 
I have to admit that I owe getting to know about yizhan to a completely unrelated fictional character. Blame it all on Yoshikazu Miyano and his obsession with BL manga :)
The story of Sasaki and Miyano (manga/ anime by Shou Harusono) reminded me of some of my own personal untold stories and led me to writing fanfiction — creative retelling of the canon story in the form of first-person narrative. It was easier to do Sasaki’s POV first, but to write a companion piece from Miyano’s POV, I had to do writer’s research on BL, which was mainly out of my orbit before (except for some great Harry/Draco stories I read, gosh, more than 15 years ago).
Reading and watching BL led to Netflix recommending me tgcf donhua. The sense of “wow, this is something special” led to purchasing the books and watching “The Untamed”, digging up fandom(dot) com while waiting for the books to be delivered. I have been learning Chinese recently, so I also started to try to read the manhuas. 
Watching “The Untamed” was a very special experience. Something was there, in the playing of it, that rang truer than mere acting. I could not name it, what it was, but I could tell that I can recognise something genuine, authentic and exceptionally beautiful. I could not leave it be, it was like this feeling of “really real and special” was calling out to me, leaving me with questions I felt the need to find answers to. 
The Facebook algorithm, which is too clever for its own good, but to which I owe some really good recommendations, started showing me reels made of cql bts footage. What a beautiful mess these reels are. Exceptionally befuddling. Sometimes obviously altered — cut, edited and mistranslated. I understood that there are more where those came from, and spent some time on Youtube. It is to a significant extent a clickbait-ey and money-hungry garbage dump, but I was lucky to see some long unedited fancam footage from the first big fanmeet and from the t-cent award night at the end of 2019. 
The thing that turned me into a bona fide turtle, I think, was
watching the way one’s face transformed when the other arrived at the t-cent award night, and the way their movements synchronized, and the body language at the fanmeet. I have not been a counsellor for longer than the younger of them is alive (scary to say that, I feel old :)) for nothing. I do read body language very well and I can tell genuine expressions from schooled ones. And I can tell a good relationship from a bad or non-existent one.
I saw that what I was witnessing was something precious, exceptional; each of them looked at the other as if the other was a miracle — undeserved, stunning, adored, beautiful, worthy of all love possible.
And then it was time for the “Tomorrow Will Be Better” recording, which I witnessed as the footage appeared. I saw that the resonance between them was still there, even if they weren't physically side by side. I could see that what they have has been transforming them, making them into better people, expanding inwardly, as beautiful in their inner worlds as their outward appearance is beautiful. And at the same time, I knew by then they could be silly and playful and dirty-minded, which I also appreciate a lot in people. Very human, very genuine, very pure in unexplainable ways. Capable of overcoming difficulties without becoming jaded or conceited.
And yes, I can tell where and when what I am reading into what I am seeing is my own collection of projections and inferences, — and where and when it isn't.
I felt that my world has become brighter when I got to know about these brilliant young men. Their steadfastness and earnest commitment to choose what is worth doing, and to do it to the best of their ability, gives me hope. 
I wanted to know more about them, to sort the edited versions from the real story as it had happened.
And so I found that there is a whole international community of people who treasure an untold story and carefully put it together to confirm what they felt in their hearts as true. And some part of the most thoughtful and careful core of the international part of this community is here on Tumblr. 
This is an exceptional phenomenon — a community of readers of an untold story, for whom this story is so important that they hold on to it for years, reconstructing it from tiny crumbs, without much hope of ever entering into true, deep, expanded dialogue with the heroes/authors of the real thing. The readers that are themselves, obviously, transformed in some important ways, quite possibly — very precious ways. Sharing the resonant values with the heroes/ authors. Creating beautiful friendships with each other across distance and differences. Paying it forward. 
I am happy I have found the turtles. I am happy I got to know about yizhan. 
The resonance I felt seeing their eyes and smiles, was something so unusual that I felt an urge to make sense of what I was feeling. I created this space to write my reflections. Maybe something that I write will make sense not only to me. 
If there are errors in what I write, please kindly forgive me. English is not my first language. 
50 notes · View notes
naoknowswhat · 4 months
Text
I made a Clover sketch tonight, look at him I love him (and i also really like how it turned out wth)
Tumblr media
and IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO EXPLAIN HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE THIS ITTY BITTY TINY MAN. i would NOT hesitate to die for him in a situation where such methods are needed.
Now before you continue I warn you the following is basically me rambling about how much I fucking love undertale yellow heheheh (Also a lot of spoilers ahead).
I have spent the whole day playing this stupid (fantastic, amazing, marvelous) game, I kid you not that I went from the end of the ruins to the fucking steamworks, which said out loud doesn't sound like a lot of time but uhhh for me it was if you consider that I've investigated EVERY FUCKING INCH OF THE MAP.
I'm not complaining, oh ho ho (merry Xmas) I'm not complaining because its been the most fun I've had playing a game in a WHILE, its made my life better and now im gonna spend the rest of the year (and probably more) obsessed over all the characters and their stories (mostly Clover and Martlet ngl).
But I gotta admit that even if I find the Ut yellow's characters a lot different than the ones from the original game, I can't help but love them the same. Look, I'm no expert on character design but I smile every time I see Martlet comment something or simply being on screen, I start laughing whenever I see a hint of Mo on any frame, heck you mention any of the characters and I immediately start smiling like an idiot, and the whole scene with North Star? The Feisty Five?? CEROBA?? I died, the moment I stepped on the town I fucking died.
I remember being really, REALLY into undertale when I was like 10-11 years old, and suddenly opening yt one day and watching my favourite YouTuber play the demo of this fan game, and i remember thinking "oh wow that game looks really cool!" Simply because of the concept of watching how it was like for any of the other souls to go through the underground, instead of Frisk. AND NOW, YEARS LATER I GET TO PLAY IT BY MYSELF, you don't know how special this game is for me.
For me it isn't only a fan game, or the story of another fallen human, for me it's getting an opportunity to enjoy the main thing that inspired me back the from zero, getting to learn about new characters, about new stories, and new perspectives. For me it's also getting an opportunity to meet them all, to be their "friend" and to live an adventure all by myself because back then i could only sit and watch everyone else do all the things i wanted to do, because back then i could only look at them all having fun, laughing with the good things and crying with the bad memories while separated through a screen.
Today I got to meet them all and to laugh with the unexpected dialogue, while learning that even in a fictional story not everything is painted in bright pink, I saw them get into trouble and also helped them overcome it, and it was amazing.
I also got to die and die and die again and again because I realised at the beginning of the game that I'm really bad at it (i cant blame the controller, I know it :( ), but it also made me promise myself that i would keep going no matter what, because i really wanted to see what's next. Heck you could say I kept going because of my determination ;).
I haven't finished the game yet, but I already know I'm gonna replay it over and over, I wanna catch every detail, investigate and discover every mystery, and i wanna make so many theories already, I CAN'T WAIT TO LOVE THIS GAME.
So for now have a not-so-quick sketch of Clover, the bearer of the yellow soul, the one who has quickly made way into my heart, and it seems the little shit is now living there rent free.
If you've read all the way to the end wth is wrong with you, and also thanks a lot for the attention, I was really excited to talk about this game to someone but didn't know how to do it, so I figured tumblr was the place pla to write for an hour, so the short-drawing post is now my review of the game hehehehe.
Anyway thanks for reading to the very end, I hope you have an amazing rest of the year, and most importantly a great begining of the new one <3.
22 notes · View notes
eternitywrites · 1 year
Text
fantasy AU scenario (not an actual ending) (this series im made a mini scenario on is by YUZUYA on youtube and twitter!)
after a horrid experience in the Straihorn Mountains we finally made it to the top, it was kind of peaceful but none of us let our guard down. just as we were walking to the alter it was silent.
.
.
.
.
kirishima: bakugou what’s wrong? you seem.. off.
bakugou: eh? im fine shitty scales don’t worry about it.
kirishima: my prince, don’t lie to me please. i can tell something’s wrong, your facial expression is off too.
traveler: we can tell what’s wrong, please tell us bakugou! we’re your friends.
bakugou: (he lets out a deep sigh) i swear it’s nothing bad.. just feelings that’s all. forget about that i can see the alter ahead of us come on. (he picks up his pace)
kirishima: traveler theres definitely something wrong with him. i get your gonna.. well be gone soon (he takes a deep breath) but this feels like something else
traveler: yeah i agree (they fidget with their hands)
as i pick up my pace i can hear the two of you behind me, i wanted to get this thing over with. i’m not one to deal with this mushy goodbye shit. i will admit, it is kind of.. hard saying goodbye, after everything we’ve been through i can’t help but to feel a bit sad
bakugou: look we’re here, traveler get that gem out and be prepared to put it in
traveler: got it (sounds of shuffling as they take the gem out)
kirishima: ohh traveler i’m gonna miss you (he hugs them) i really don’t want you to go.. (sniffing noises) but you’ll be at home and that’s what matters
traveler: kirishima don’t cry (they hug him back)
kirishima: (sniffs as he lets go) katsuki i can see that look on your face. you don’t need to hide your feelings. after all this is the last we’ll see our traveler.
bakugou: (deep sigh as he walks over) i.. i’m not good with words. i don’t like being mushy either. you idiots better listen closely cause i’m not repeating anything.
kirishima: mhm
traveler: got it (they make eye contact with him)
bakugou: i.. well you know why i started calling you traveler, instead of outsider?
traveler: well actually not really, i’m just glad you don’t see me as one anymore (they smile lightly)
bakugou: (clears throat) the reason why i started calling you that is.. well because you’ve done a lot for me and eijiro. back in the Hadera Forest you saved kirishima, you’d given up sentimental items just to get me a new sword back in Milosen. hell you still even trusted me even after i attempted to sell that gem of yours. this opened up a bunch of.. feelings. dunce face came into the picture when he said i should get my head out of my ass and admit my feelings.
kirishima: bakugou.. (he says in shock)
bakugou: once i did take feelings into consideration it felt like a curse, it kept on growing and growing, my emotions felt like explosions and i didn’t like it. what i’m trying to tell you, is that i love you and eijiro, i know i suck at communicating but i can’t hold these thoughts in anymore, eijiro ever since i saved you from that.. camp, we traveled together. all the days we spent together to the time we played apart in each others lives, i fell in love with you. i just couldn’t realize it until sparky said something about feelings.
kirishima: (shocked noises) b-bakugou you HUH?
traveler: i-i’m speechless.. really.
kirishima: well.. uh if i’m being totally honest, i also.. love you katsuki. you too traveler! i fell inlove with katsuki after i got to travel with him more, and got to know him i could tell something changed how i looked at him, and Traveler… i’ve always been fond of you, ever since the beginning. but.. it wasn’t until the hadera forest that I realized…. that i loved you. i mean.. how could i not? You saved my life. i guess what I’m trying to say is ……. i love you both. so much.”
traveler: (shocked expression) you guys..
bakugou: eijiro.. you love us?
kirishima: (he nods his head staying silent)
traveler: wow.. i.. don’t know how to react.
bakugou: tch don’t let this stop you from going back home. the reason why we went through all of this was to get you here.
traveler: i.. i just need to say something.
kirishima: we’re listening, go ahead.
bakugou: (hums in agreement)
traveler: if i’m being perfectly honest.. i love you both too. i fell in love with both of you when we were under that cherry blossom tree, when we just well.. relaxed. when we were all play fighting, when we hugged. that just set of a bunch of emotions in me and i didn’t want to leave that moment behind. i don’t want to leave any of you behind.. (they start tearing up)
bakugou: (shocked expression) eh? you.. love us back?
traveler: y-yeah (they start crying)
kirishima: hey.. hey it’s okay traveler (he embraces them)
bakugou: (walks over to the both and joins in on the hug) don’t cry.. damn it
traveler: i wish i could give both of you my love, but time has its limits. (they end the hug) i should be ready to put the gem in the alter when the stars align
bakugou: y-yeah (he rubs his eyes for a second)
kirishima: of course
the three of us stood in silence, waiting for the right moment to put the gem into the alter. it had to be the longest silence of my life. i took a peek up at the sky and rushed you over to the alter
bakugou: traveler it’s almost time, you should go closer and get ready
as you look up the stars were aligned. it was beautiful, but a representation that this was our last time seeing each others. there was a shuffle as you put the gem in. it started glowing and a portal opened up. kirishima stared in wonder.
traveler: this is.. goodbye. goodbye eijiro and katsuki, please don’t forgive about me (noises as they hug them one last time)
kirishima: trust me (he sniffs) we can’t forget about you
bakugou: what the dragon said
traveler: good. i won’t forget about you guys either.
the last thing we saw was you smiling at us before you walked in, and the portal closed.
47 notes · View notes
i--antimony · 4 months
Text
2023 year in review roundup
wow!! what a fucking year!!! goodbye and good riddance! happy first day of 2024!
this year i did 37 tuesdayposts! there were 53 tuesdays so that's about 70%! some of them were on fri/sat instead as shabbosposts but i think posting on tuesday or even monday does just work better for some fucking reason. maybe because friday and saturday are days that i am most likely to do New Activities for making/playing/watching/reading??? and so on monday or tuesday i can recap the just-finished weekend. shrug! we love tuesday so it's fine.
listening listened to all of twilight mirage and a little over half of partizan! shrieking shack podcast, just king things, well there's your problem, miscellaneous music (maneskin probably a notable winner in there)
reading a lot of little articles. a little tgcf. SO much fanfic. 'every heart a doorway' (bad). 'birthday of the world' le guin (good).
playing a little disco elysium. a little minecraft. a little nier automata. a little hadesgame. a LOT of pokemon go. and i got into magic the gathering this year!
watching a lot of youtube videos. so many gd youtube videos. evangelion, history of the world part ii, cunk on earth, vox machina animated series, cowboy bebop, first season of peaky blinders, the new tgcf donghua season!
making i did very little drawing/painting/illustration beyond life drawing a few times...however i was very prolific in crafting! i also theoretically made valentines gifts. i do not remember what they were tho lol.
fiber arts: i completed a big embroidery project (fermenting dregs album art hoodie), quantum shawl, mesh market bag, case for my knew laptop, finished that blue tank top even though i hate it, fixed the lining on my yellow knitted cowl, made a little knitted headphone top cover that i will probably redo differently, headband ear warmer for my roommate's mom, and FINALLY i just barely finished the scarf for my SO before the end of 2023!
print block carving: wristwatch print, gavelbocken holiday card print
misc/writing: some songxuexiao fencing au. some harrowhark abhorsen au. neocities website!
and so much pottery! this is all of it, barring the things i already gave away as presents before this photo (two pots and a little box and the little raven guy), but wow! that's so many fuckin object!
Tumblr media
misc what a fucking year. some bad! had to file a big car insurance claim! got really sick while abroad and that persisted for a long fucking time! mini summer breakdown! some good stuff too - passed quantum mechanics FOREVER good fucking bye, did my first successful academic conference, finally started feeling better around the end of the year! learned my lesson: it's not fuckin worth stressing yourself to death over, and also i can't just Be At Home Aimlessly for months any more. it's bad for my mental health.
reviewing 2023 resolutions and goals --> I’d love to start writing again and play more horn but we’ll see i basically didn't do any creative writing at all this year barring a few lines of fanfic ideas (the abhorsen/tlt crossover one) HOWEVER i READ a lot of fanfic to marinate in and i played a LOT more french horn!! i joined the little youth orchestra which is like, uber goofy, but it means ive been playing on a regular basis again!
--> I also wanna listen to more weird music, and invest in actually owning some files, especially for some of the lesser-known bands and through bandcamp and stuff i spent all year meaning to do this and kept pushing it off so it rolls over into next year.
--> I really want to kind of dial those [unhealthy coping mechanisms] back again, focus more on existing in Reality and more in each moment, which hopefully will also help with some of the skin picking and other anxious habits that resurfaced. maybe more yoga, maybe re-establishing a meditation process lol lmao. nah. but definitely rolling it over into 2024.
--> I would love to think more about my fashion and how I present myself too, and work on making and tailoring more of my clothing in general actually not bad! basically zero tailoring but i did a pretty good job wearing some cute outfits.
--> I’ve been pretty good about being active so I’d like to keep that up, I still can’t do a pull-up but maybe this is the year! (lol) I should also start doing some minor exercises for my shitty arthritis toes to keep those okay once again: lol lmao. health issues had me really regress in some of my gains goals. plus side is toes are doin pretty normal.
--> a lot of last year was kind of a wash regarding research so I’m really looking forward to refocusing on that and really getting things moving. oh it moved! in a good way! i'm making good progress and hopefully i will keep that momentum going!
--> finally! I want to get back to tabletop! I miss doing it so much! it fell by the wayside for me because of how busy and overwhelmed I was, especially this past fall semester, but I want to start running and playing games with my pals again a little! i should have been putting these in playing as i went oops. the tabletop group i've run was a little fallow this year due to at least half of our group, including myself, not being in Tabletop Mood but we've played a lot of res arcana and other such games instead.
i had a few other resolutions in my digital planner on my ipad that didn't go in the writeup last year: namely, practice languages more (i did practice my mandarin a little but did not really learn any hebrew or korean unfortunately) and establish a non-software component of my research (nope, not in the cards, but i'm hoping to do something else this summer to let me get better with physical data/setups), and finishing the masters degree requirements (that will be the end of this upcoming spring semester), but overall i really did hit most of my resolutions and goals! even with being ill for a while! (except the finances. i am simply not looking at them <3)
2024 resolutions and goals
definitely some rollover! i will format this to hopefully be a little easier to respond to next year:
- get back on a regular workout schedule: swimming 1x a week, weights once or twice a week. would like to try and work towards my One Pullup goal again. would also be cool to try and work towards a hand/headstand. - try and be more mindful. i'm going to continue the grief therapy but also think about meditating more, doing more yoga, and so on. - there's a gallery on main street that solicits work from local artists for bimonthy themed exhibitions and i really want to submit at least one thing to it this year! the one due by end of january is themed 'florals', and the one two months after that is 'layers', so i'd really like to submit something to one of those. - more weird art! use that big canvas i bought in literally 2022! paint!!! - finally put together that travel journal from korea & japan (and also scrapbook-ify the papers i have leftover in a pile from that) - also, maybe do current scrapbook a little different? might need a new binder at the very least. - hang up that expensive quilt i bought in august - speaking of quilt: do some hand quilting, english paper piercing! i have so much fucking fabric! - find a new apartment to move into that hopefully won't suck! - try to secure some sort of summer internship or project that will let me develop some new skillsets that i might not be getting with my current research - finish the masters degree - write...a paper? for the work i just presented??? - keep tweaking neocities and make some more pages - keep track of recipes this year as well in my making section
i might start a little spreadsheet this year to keep better track of all my stuff because i really did Not want to go through all my separate listening and reading sections and extract what i liked the most, etc. this post required me to first back up a few extra early tuesdayposts from this year to dreamwidth, and then skim all of them to accumulate the above, and that was kinda a pain. and i love an excuse to start a new spreadsheet.
we did it! happy 2024! i don't think i have anything else to add to this wrapup but if i think of something i'll tack it into the upcoming Normal Tuesdaypost tomorrow! good job good night and good luck everyone!
9 notes · View notes
watchmenanon · 1 year
Text
A chat with Noah Schnapp, the 11-year-old Montrealer who voices Charlie Brown in The Peanuts Movie
'I listened to as much as I could find online to get the voice right. Winning the role took a lot of hard work'
Special to National Post
Published Nov 06, 2015
Noah Schnapp, the 11-year-old actor, son of former Montrealers Karine and Mitchell Schnapp, was selected to provide the pipes for the ever-flappable Charlie Brown in The Peanuts Movie after an extensive hunt. For good reason: his take is dead-on. It turns out that wasn’t accidental.
“In preparing for my recording audition, my mom told me to YouTube the old Peanuts Thanksgiving and Christmas specials to hear how Charlie Brown speaks,” the articulate Schnapp says in a phone interview from his family’s New York City base. “So I listened to as much as I could find online to get the voice right. Winning the role took a lot of hard work, but good fortune as well. There were a lot of other talented kids up for the part, too.”
After studying the character, Schnapp says, he can relate to Charlie Brown in a lot of ways. “Charlie never gives up, and I try never to give up either. And my dog Spaghetti is a bit like Snoopy — a real wise guy.”
Schnapp already has an impressive resumé — moviegoers can catch him in Steven Spielberg’s new Bridge of Spies, and will soon be able to see him in the indie feature, We Only Know So Much, based on the book of the same title.
He is commuting between New York and Atlanta, where he is in the midst of shooting Stranger Things, a supernatural thriller series for Netflix.
And he spent a portion of last spring in Park City, Utah, where he took part in the Sundance Directors Lab and played the lead in director Brent Green’s Untitled Loveless Fable. No surprise, Schnapp was the youngest person invited to the event, which was also attended by such heavies as Robert Redford and Ed Harris.
To top it all off, he was just listed in Variety’s Youth Impact Report as a rising star under 21 to watch out for.
Pretty heady stuff for a kid who only started acting in community theatre three years ago.
Schnapp plays the son of Tom Hanks’s negotiator character in Bridge of Spies, and is most convincing as a kid who’s concerned about a Soviet nuclear retaliation at the height of the Cold War. He dutifully learns the ludicrous duck-and-cover technique should a missile strike while he’s at school, and keeps his bathtub full of water should it strike while he’s at home.
“I have to be honest and admit that before I started working on that project, I actually didn’t know much about that period or who they (Hanks and Spielberg), were,” Schnapp says. “But you have to understand that I was only nine at the time.
“However, when we started pre-production, I watched most of their movies. Then I went: ‘Wow!’ I hadn’t realized how big and how important they were.”
He was particularly struck by Hanks’s manner.
“He’s just such a selfless, generous actor,” Schnapp marvels. “In most of his movies, he’s usually playing the hero and good guy, which is what he really is. He would always be holding on to my shoulder (during shooting), and putting me into the spotlight. And not just me — he was always trying to make everyone else shine, too. It was really such a great experience working with him and Steven Spielberg.”
Schnapp is nothing if not determined. Because of his lack of experience, he figured he was a long shot to land the roles in The Peanuts Movie and Bridge of Spies.
“It was kind of crazy — those were some of my first auditions,” he recalls. “I was very excited, but I didn’t really think I could get the work in Peanuts. Still, I really, really wanted it, because I knew I could do it. And I got it.
“It was the same thing for Bridge of Spies. It was crazy, too. Then I just started getting more and more roles.”
Apart from Hanks, he’s had some solid parental figures watching his back when he’s on the job. In We Only Know So Much, Jeanne Tripplehorn plays his mom, while Winona Ryder takes on that role in Stranger Things.
The Sundance Directors Lab was a great learning experience. “There were about 200 directors, actors and screenwriters. I learned that it was OK to experiment with scenes and improvise new lines. We were like a big family — everyone became my friend.”
Though he didn’t start acting until he was eight, Schnapp says he caught the bug two years earlier.
“After I saw Annie on Broadway, I came out of the show crying, because I wanted to be on that stage. Then when I watched TV, I just knew I wanted to be that person in the TV, too.”
40 notes · View notes
albatrossthesoup · 1 year
Text
Tactics Game Devlog #2
Wow! I didn't think it would take two months to make the amount of progress I'd set out to make between this devlog and my first one. I can attribute the first month to one single roadblock. The second month was implementing everything else. Game development always takes longer than you expect it to, especially when you're trying to do things the "right" way, knowing they'll make development smoother in the long run.
Tumblr media
First off - the game is much more of a functioning game now! When you start it up, the Player turn automatically initiates. While that's happening, the game is calculating everyone's movement ranges on another thread so that by the time you start moving the cursor, everything has been sneakily loaded.
Tumblr media
EDIT: I cannot get this gif to load consistently!! I may have to try uploading a single video from now on instead of multiple gifs. If it isn't loading for you, click here to view it.
So what single thing took me an entire month to figure out? You're looking at it in this second gif! I found myself woefully unprepared for what a new kind of challenge it would be to calculate unit movement ranges on a grid, but more importantly, apply movement penalties if enemies or obstacles are in the way. Most (all?) tactics games follow the logic that if an enemy or anything else is in your way, it impedes your movement.
As an example. If you have a movement range of say, 2, you should only be able to walk a maximum of 2 spaces in any direction. If an obstacle is adjacent to you, and the space behind it is free, you should not be able to move it to that space assuming your movement range is only 2. This turned out to be shockingly difficult to brute force my way through without looking up methods others have used. I tried a lot of different ways, and one finally worked for me.
Long story short it involves assigning each cell in the grid a movement cost, and checking each walkable space in a queue and assigning its movement cost. Definitely not something I could have figured out on my own and I am forever grateful to this YouTube uploader for this method that I was able to adapt to 3D. And as a bonus, thanks to this method I can add different terrain types that affect a unit's available movement spaces! Like bushes or desert tiles in Fire Emblem, for example.
Tumblr media
The second month was spent playing catch-up, as I really wanted to implement some basic functionality and Player and Enemy phases next. Nothing during this period was too too challenging. It was mostly me continuing to realize how many more different steps were required to do things than I'd anticipated initially.
It probably doesn't look like much, but I did a lot of work under the hood. The enemy AI here is set so that it will pick the target with the least HP, move to it, and attack. I've got things set up so that I can easily add different types of enemy behaviors. The next big challenging step is handling the navigation for ranged attacking units, but I've set up the code in such a way and planned ahead enough that I have a pretty good idea how I'll implement that.
I feel like there's so much more I could say about how the game is functioning right now, but I'll save it for future updates. I'm going to give myself a much more generous goal for the next devlog that I technically meant to have done for this one: Player movement! Maybe I'll include a menu for player actions in addition to that. I'll have to see how long that takes.
Peace! Until next time.
Devlog Update #1
Cohost Devlog
45 notes · View notes
stormblessed95 · 1 year
Note
Hi Stormblessed
I hope you are well, and are blessed with a good readingstreak? This is not so much of an ask (because how could you know 🤷🏼‍♀️) as a small oberservation that made me curious…
I was watching “You” by Regard, Troye Sivan and Tate McRae and suddenly realized - that the model was wearing the same outfit from Jimins Photofolio and also sitting on a lightbox-thing. Maybe that’s were he got his inspiration from, cus we know he like Troye Sivan a lot?
If you are curious as well, its around 1.21 in the musicvideo on YouTube
I’m superlate to the party - but I’ m still kind of thinking about that photoshoot… 😳
I did check your masterlist (damn I need that scoutemojii so bad - 👩🏻‍🎤) and I must say, being a librarian I stand in awe - its a monstermasterlist!
💜 Lenezz
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Oh wow! That DOES look super similar! Who knows if he did draw inspiration there or if it's just a coincidence, but I love it! My Post over his photofolio is here
I have actually had a horrible reading month by my personal standards for myself. I've only finished ONE book so far this whole month. To be fair, I've spent a lot of the month helping one of my best friends finish last minute plan touches and then setting up and attending and staying with her afterwards... the funeral of one of my other friends/her husband. I mentioned his passing a few months ago. So I'll blame my lack of reading on lack of time. And thank you for the compliments on my masterlist. I know it can still be confusing to navigate at times too 😅
💜 Storm
25 notes · View notes
Text
I didn’t plan things this way, but it turns out it’s Mental Health Weekend in my stand-up comedy watching. By which I mean the three stand-up hours I downloaded to watch this weekend happened to all tackle that subject, in wildly different ways. Which isn’t that massive a coincidence, I guess, as a lot of stand-up hours do this. But these ones really find three quite different and specific takes on the subject.
Dan Rath – I’m Not Doing Well, Folks (2023)
Do you like Sam Campbell? Well, meet his weird Australian friend! Seriously, I’ve also heard the show Greg Larsen was doing last year, and I’m increasingly convinced that Sam Campbell is the normal one among his people in Australia.
I’d heard Dan Rath’s pervious show, Cockroach Party, which was released as one of the ABC comedy podcasts. I liked it, but I think I kind of listened to it at the wrong time, while on break at work. Listening to this one while at home doing nothing makes me think his shows deserve more attention, because there were a lot of jokes that I would not have caught if I’d been less careful. Anyway, for whatever reason, Cockroach Party made me like him, but I’m Not Doing Well Folks (which was his 2023 show and was just released on YouTube) has made me think he’s brilliant and has moved far higher on the list of people I’d love to see live.
I laughed out loud so many times when watching this, hard and uncontrollably in the way that you usually don’t when just watching something on your own in your room. The whole show was constant and quick and ever-changing so you never really settle down and stop laughing so much.
There were only a few topics that he stays with for a significant period of time, one of which is mental illness, so that’s why I said this was on theme. It’s very much not “let me be confessional and vulnerable about the dramatic mental illness I’ve suffered” (not that there’s anything wrong with that, the other two shows I watched today were that and they were also great). It is jokes about autism, in what would be a case of “Oh, you can’t say that” if he weren’t autistic. At least, I think he’s autistic. He repeatedly says he’s autistic, and the vast majority of what he says during this show is clearly not true, but if there’s one claim in this whole show I don’t find it hard to believe, it’s Dan Rath being autistic.
It's not storytelling comedy, it’s definitely not sketch or anything like that, there are a few one-liners but most bits are longer than that, it’s not not character comedy but not the way Anna Mann is a character. The way Joe Wilkinson is a character. It’s a really, really funny character. His stuff about serial killers made me nearly cry with laughter. It had a few little bits that I recognized from Cockroach Party, but most of it was new, and I thought nearly every single bit was good. His disarming way of saying something offhandedly and then immediately moving on got me every time.
I’m going to have “I don’t give a fuck if the robots take over. I’m autistic, they’ll hire me as an interpreter,” stuck in my head for a while.
Lulu Popplewell – Actually, Actually (2023)
I have to admit: I mainly watched this show because I fucking hate Love, Actually. I didn’t see that movie until last year, which I guess was too late in life to watch it. Too late in my life, and too late in history, as a lot of the shit that apparently “seemed okay at the time” really no longer seemed okay by then. Though I’m pretty sure I’d have thought this even if I saw it when it came out. I turned 13 in 2003, and I spent a fair bit of 2003 telling people that various things on TV were sexist, and getting told to stop being oversensitive, and then as an adult I read these articles that say “Wow, I can’t believe all the blatant sexism and homophobia in the sitcom Friends that no one noticed at the time!” Well I noticed! But no one listened!
I didn’t watch Love, Actually in 2003. I watched it in 2023, because my mother talked me into it. It’s been a running thread between my mother and I since about 2003 that she always wanted a daughter to do things like watch romcoms with, and when I was 13 I’d just say no and it would turn into big fights, but as an adult, I try to occasionally be more flexible. And sometimes they’re good! Sometimes I learn that my knee-jerk hatred for all the feminine-coded things that were forced upon me in my youth is misplaced, and these things can be fun. I’d thought Love, Actually might be like that. Not really my sort of movie, but if I agree to suspend my disbelief and buy into the world of romcom tropes, then it can be fun.
Love, Actually was not fun. Love, Actually was pure shit from start to finish, no matter how much I tried to remind myself that you’re supposed to relax about the less believable bits. There is a certain level of romanticization of workplace sexual harassment that I’m willing to overlook for the sake of trying to enjoy a romcom with my mother, and this movie was many times over that limit. I was truly amazed by the large number of different types of terrible people they managed to fit into one movie. I’d heard people say before that “You know, when you really think about it, that story in Love, Actually isn’t even really romantic, it’s creepy and mean that he tries to steal his best friend’s wife.” As though that’s that biggest problem! As though attempted infidelity is even worth commenting on, when it’s next to severe sexual harassment by literally the most powerful job in the land! Or that other workplace harassment where a guy follows his non-English-speaking employee to a different country? And then Alan Rickman is just walking around cheating on his wife in the background. I think Martin Freeman was all right, oddly.
I don’t mind a movie about terrible people, but portray it that way! Give us a movie about creepy horrible people getting away with it all the time. Not a movie where we’re apparently supposed to hope things work out well for some of them. Honestly, I’m shocked that this got by even by 2003 standards.
Anyway. I know Paul Sinha’s done a show talking shit about that movie, and I wish he’d recorded that because I’d love to see Paul Sinha apply his brand of intellectualism to taking that apart. But this week I saw that NextUp has up a show that Lulu Popplewell streamed from Edinburgh in 2023. She played one of the children in Love, Actually, and is now an adult. From the description, I got the impression that a lot of the show would be her taking down Love, Actually. I watched the show because I wanted to see that.
So you can imagine my surprise when it was in fact a show about mental illness and addiction, and the Love, Actually thing was just a little bit of structure around which she tied it. Luckily, it was quite a good show about mental illness and addiction, so I don’t blame her for clearly using the eye-catching fact that she was a child actor in a very famous movie to sell it in her blurb. That got me to watch, and I liked what it turned out to actually be. And there was some talking shit about Love, Actually.
She talked about a bunch of things I find interesting, the way addiction can be an underlying personality trait and if you’re addicted to one thing you’ll probably keep getting addicted to other things, and addictions to “obvious” things like alcohol can be deeply interconnected with gambling or shopping or video games or disordered eating. I said at the beginning of this post that comedians talking about mental health is hardly rare, which it isn’t, but she definitely covers some of the “harder stuff” than what you normally hear, or than what most people experience (in as much as most people experience some amount of mental health difficulty). She talks openly, but while acknowledging the awkwardness that can come with that kind of openness, about psychosis and addiction and rehab. In addition to a specific perspective she has on how misogyny affects women in the public eye.
And she makes jokes. That seems worth pointing out, it did make me laugh. It started a bit slow; for the first fifteen or so minutes I was thinking this might be one of those shows where she says interesting things but doesn’t make me laugh much. But the more she established herself within the show, the better her jokes got, and by the end she made me laugh out loud several times. I thought the second half of this show was definitely stronger than the first, but none of it was bad. Her persona went very fast from “privileged child star” to “absolute mess” (as it so often goes with child stars), though she keeps reminding us that she’s in recovery now and is in a place to talk about it with some perspective.
I enjoyed this one, and like I said, I did get some of the complaining about Love, Actually that I’d hoped for. I’m glad I watched it.
Richard Gadd – Monkey See Monkey Do (2016)
I was reminded of this show’s existence by the fact that his new TV show Baby Reindeer has just come out, which I haven’t seen but would look to watch at some point, it looks very interesting. That reminded me that last year I had a quest to see or hear every Perrier Award-winning show for which I could find a recording. I’d never seen the Richard Gadd one that won in 2016, so I looked it up, and found that it did get filmed for those Soho Theatre sessions. I added that to my collection. In case anyone wants to keep score with me, my folder with (audio or video) recordings of Perrier Award-winning shows now has the winners from: 1999, 2003, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2013, 2016, 2017 (x2), 2018, 2019, 2022, and 2023. If anyone knows of others that have been recorded, please let me know.
I wasn’t quite sure what to expect with this show. I’d read that it was pretty conceptual, and I’d read that it was about trauma, but I hadn’t expected just how much of both those things it would be, until I watched it. It was a lot of both those things. It wasn’t stand-up with a couple of props in it – it was a story told via recorded audio and video and a man in a thematically relevant costume who runs on a treadmill for most of the show, which is a very physically impressive feat, aside from anything else. And it wasn’t just a show that gets into trauma – it was 47 minutes of trauma. And I thought it was great.
I hesitate a bit to say too much about it, partly because it feels weird to “rate” something so personal (even though all comedy is subjective and “rating” it is always kind of bullshit). Partly because I don’t watch a lot of comedy that gets to this level of “conceptual”, so I don’t feel confident in my ability to know good stuff from bad stuff when I see it (though I’m not the only person who thought this one was very good, they gave it an award and everything). And partly because I found a lot of it so impactful that if anyone is considering watching it, I don’t want to spoil too much (though it’s a show from 2016, I don’t think spoilers are a large issue).
He got into a bunch of interesting stuff in this show, about masculinity and sexual assault and mental illness, presenting in what I found a very immediate and hard-hitting way. Especially the sounds and whatever else he was doing to bring to live his descriptions of anxiety.
It often annoys me when comedians comment on how an audience “isn’t sure if they’re allowed to laugh” at something they’ve said – because often, the comedian is overestimating their own edginess, what they’ve said wasn’t “too uncomfortable” to laugh at, it just wasn’t that great. In this Richard Gadd show, he never said “I can see the audience trying to decide whether they’re allowed to laugh right now”, but there were multiple points when I could tell the audience were trying to decide whether they were allowed to laugh at that funny bit. Or maybe I’m just projecting, because that’s what I was doing.
This very much was one of those shows people make jokes about because they’re a bit overdone and can be painfully embarrassing if not done well – a comedy show that lets itself have significant portions that aren’t funny, they’re a person telling us very honestly and intensely about something harrowing. But I do like those shows when they’re good, and this one was, and about something important. And some of it was definitely funny. I would like to watch his new TV show at some point.
4 notes · View notes