#worst option is we get back and THEY'RE gone. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

foone · 1 year

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Look if there's one thing, just one thing, that I wish everyone understood about archiving, it's this:

We can always decide later that we don't need something we archived.

Like, if we archive a website that's full of THE WORST STUFF, like it turns out it's borderline illegal bot-made spam art, we can delete it. Gone.

We can also chose not to curate. You can make a list of the 100 Best Fanfic and just quietly not link to or mention the 20,000 RPFs of bigoted youtubers eating each other. No problem!

We can also make things not publicly available. This happens surprisingly often: like, sometimes there'll be a YouTube channel of alt-right bigotry that gets taken down by YouTube, but someone gives a copy to the internet archive, and they don't make it publicly available. Because it might be useful for researchers, and eventually historians, it's kept. But putting it online for everyone to see? That's just be propaganda for their bigotry. So it's hidden, for now. You can ask to see it, but you need a reason.

And we can say all these things, we can chose to delete it later, we can not curate it, we can hide it from public view... But we only have these options BECAUSE we archived it.

If we didn't archive it, we have no options. It is gone. I'm focusing on the negative here, but think about the positive side:

What if it turns out something we thought was junk turns out to be amazing new art?

What if something we thought of as pointless and not worth curating turns out to be influential?

What if something turns out to be of vital historical importance, the key that is used to solve a great mystery, the Rosetta stone for an era?

All of those things are great... If we archived it when we could.

Because this is an asymmetric problem:

If we archived it and it turns out it's not useful, we can delete.

If we didn't archive it and it turns out it is useful, OOPS!

You can't unlose something that's been lost. It's gone. This is a one way trip, it's already fallen off the cliff. Your only hope is that you're wrong about it being lost, and there is actually still a copy somewhere. If it's truly lost, your only option is to build a time machine.

And this has happened! There are things lost, so many of them that we know of, and many more we don't know of. There are BOOKS OF THE BIBLE referenced in the canon that simply do not exist anymore. Like, Paul says to go read his letter to the Laodiceans, and what did that letter say? We don't know. It's gone.

The most celebrated playwright in the English tradition has plays that are just gone. You want to perform or watch Love's Labours Won? TOO FUCKING BAD.

Want to watch Lon Cheyney's London After Midnight, a mystery-horror silent film from 1927? TOO BAD. The MGM vault burnt down in 1965 and the last known copy went up in smoke.

If something still exists, if it still is kept somewhere, there is always an opportunity to decide if it's worthy of being remembered. It can still be recognized for its merits, for its impact, for its importance, or just what it says about the time and culture and people who made it, and what they believed and thought and did. It can still be a useful part of history, even if we decide it's a horrible thing, a bigoted mess, a terrible piece of art. We have the opportunity to do all that.

If it's lost... We are out of options. All we can do is research it from how it affected other things. There's a lot of great books and plays and films and shows that we only know of because other contemporary sources talked about them so much. We're trying to figure out what it was and what it did, from tracing the shadow it cast on the rest of culture.

This is why archivists get anxious whenever people say "this thing is bad and should not be preserved". Because, yeah, maybe they're right. Maybe we'll look back and decide "yeah, that is worthless and we shouldn't waste the hard drive or warehouse space on it".

But if they're wrong, and we listen to them, and don't archive... We don't get a second chance at this. And archivists have been bitten too many times by talk of "we don't need copies, the original studio has the masters!" (it burnt down), or "this isn't worth preserving, it's just some damn silly fad" (the fad turned out to be the first steps of a cultural revolution), or "this media is degenerate/illegal/immoral" (it turns out those saying that were bigots and history doesn't agree with their assessment).

So we archive what we can. We can always decide later if it doesn't need preserving. And being a responsible archivist often means preserving things but not making them publicly available, or being selective in what you archive (I back up a lot of old computer hard drives. Often they have personal photos and emails and banking information! That doesn't get saved).

But it's not really a good idea to be making quality or moral judgements of what you archive. Because maybe you're right, maybe a decade or two later you'll decide this didn't need to be saved. And you'll have the freedom to make that choice. But if you didn't archive it, and decide a decade later you were wrong... It's just gone now. You failed.

Because at the end of the day I'd rather look at an archive and see it includes 10,000 things I think are worthless trash, than look at an archive of on the "best things" and know that there are some things that simply cannot be included. Maybe they were better, but can't be considered as one of the best... Because they're just gone. No one has read them, no one has been able to read them.

We have a long history of losing things. The least we can do going forward is to try and avoid losing more. And leave it up to history to decide if what we saved was worth it.

My dream is for a future where critics can look at stuff made in the present and go "all of this was shit. Useless, badly made, bigoted, horrible. Don't waste your time on it!"

Because that's infinitely better than the future where all they can do is go "we don't know of this was any good... It was probably important? We just don't know. It's gone. And it's never coming back"

#Archivist ranting

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angelicyoongie · 7 months

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lovesick (X)

— pairing: yandere ot7 x (f) reader — word count: 4.8k — warnings: yandere, stalking, obsessive behaviour, spanking as punishment, minor injuries, other content that may be triggering. — summary: You dreamed of the day you would get your very own soulmark. Though, you didn’t expect to wake up to a searing hurt in your arm, the phantom pain of your shoulder being dislocated and your forearm fractured. As if dealing with the worst possible soulmark ever wasn’t bad enough, you also have to come to terms with the fact that you’re being stalked. When the letters and gifts you receive begin to escalate and the police offers no help, you have no other option than to figure out who’s behind it yourself – and hopefully before it’s too late.

Previous – Next

You wake up to the sound of gravel crunching under Namjoon's shoes.

Your face is tucked against his chest, breathing in the scent of the crisp night air that lingers on his coat. It takes you a moment to reorient yourself, for the last tendrils of unconsciousness to slip away.

It all comes crashing down over you like a cold bucket of water as reality sets in; he's taking you back to the cabin.

It'll be as if the last hours never happened, as if you never stepped foot outside the sturdy wooden structure. You're going back to them – except, perhaps it won't be the same men that you left that you'll have to face once you step back inside. The soulmates you ran away from were terrible and selfish but they were never cruel. After your failed escape attempt, however, you no longer know if that still rings true. If that's something you can count on.

Your body locks up at the thought of the monsters waiting for you down the road, muscles spasming with the need to move despite the utter exhaustion weighing you down.

Namjoon tightens his grip around your middle as you grow stiff, arms locking you securely against his body.

"You're awake," He notes, the usual honey in his voice gone. "It's for the best. We can deal with everything much quicker this way."

The fearful whine that shoots up your throat gets trapped behind your teeth, your lips too numb for the noise to pass through them. It takes great effort for you to move your head over, turning just enough that you're able to pick up on your surroundings. Namjoon must have parked just down the bend from the cabin, his steady steps already closing in on the dark silhouette looming between the trees in the distance.

Your heart feels like it's trying to beat itself out of your chest as you pick up on muffled yells, shivers racing down your frozen spine as you make out six distinct voices. The soft light emanating from the cabin sends ferocious shadows dancing across the ground, their movements erratic and violent.

It gets harder to breathe the closer you get, your chest refusing to move as Namjoon steps up on the small patio in front of the entrance. Blood rushing in your ears, you try to make yourself as small as possible in his arms as he reaches out for the handle, wishing you could just melt away into nothing. Anything would've been better than this.

The cabin goes deadly still as Namjoon pushes the door open.

Your vision blurs as you're brought into the heat, your eyes stinging as you attempt to blink some moisture back into them. You can barely make out the six fuzzy figures scattered around the room, their bodies stock still as if they're frozen in time. The chilly wind that blows into the cabin is nothing compared to the sight that greets you as your eyes adjust – the six men in front of you looking everything from angry to icy to hurt. A few of them even have the gall to glare at you with something akin to betrayal; like you were only stringing them along for your amusement and not your survival.

It leaves you trembling with fear, the knowledge that no matter what you do, nothing will make them understand that they're the ones in the wrong. That they're the selfish ones.

Namjoon takes another step forward, chest rising with a small sigh as he readjusts you in his grip. Perhaps he regrets bringing you back now that he can see the state the others are in, their hair and clothes rumpled, the furniture in the common room strewn about like a hurricane has torn through it.

You glance back up at his face in time to see him set his jaw, his voice tight as he says, "We're back."

The door that slams shut behind him jerks the cabin back into motion, the noise that was sucked out before suddenly rolling over the room like a crashing wave. You screw your eyes shut as their yells blend into each other, feet thundering across the room as they stumble over themselves to reach you.

"What were you thinking?!" You flinch as Taehyung's voice booms across the cabin. You can't discern if it's anger or concern that's got him so agitated, so loud, and that scares you.

"Calm down, Taehyung. I know you were worried but this isn't the way to show it," Yoongi hisses.

His voice drifts closer, a little softer, as he addresses you, "You're lucky Namjoon found you, Y/n. You're already chilled to the bone."

"Never scare me like that again, angel," Seokjin sounds wobbly as he pats over your hair, hushing the choked noise you make at the contact.

Your eyes flutter open against your will at the low, irritated snort that travels through the room.

Jimin stands with his arms crossed over his chest by the couch, scowling as the two oldest keep fretting over you. "Don't tell me you already forgot why you were so distraught in the first place, hyungs? Y/n ran away. She was just playing with us with whole time – she doesn't love us."

Seokjin's fingers still in your hair, the warm touch of his hand slowly receding as he takes a step back. He throws a hard glance over his shoulder, mouth pinched in annoyance, "Jimin, did I not tell you to shut up for the rest of the night?"

Jimin grits his teeth at Seokjin's tone, turning his head to stare blankly at the wall.

"He's right though," Hoseok says, hand brushing over Jimin's shoulder as he steps closer. "Y/n tricked us. She betrayed the trust we gave her and we can't let that slide without any consequences."

"What are you suggesting?" Namjoon leans back on his heels, fingers digging into your thigh.

"She deserves a punishment," Hoseok blankly states, eyebrows cocked as he stares you down, "Don't you agree, Y/n?"

"N-no," You weakly shake your head.

The tsk you get from Hoseok in return makes you recoil, the fear in your body so tangible you can taste it on the tip of your tongue.

"I think you're right, Hobi."

A small, betrayed gasp leaves your lips as you hear Yoongi's careful drawl. His agreement stings more than expected, somehow you had deluded yourself into thinking that Yoongi wasn't as bad as the other men in the room; that he and Jungkook actually seemed to care a little for you and not just your soulmate connection.

Jungkook still hasn't moved from where he's sat in one of the big ratty armchairs near the couches. His doe eyes are shiny with tears when you meet them across the room. Jungkook starts curling in on himself the longer you look, shame pulling at his features as he ducks his head.

"Fine," Namjoon says, "But nothing too bad."

"Of course not. I don't actually want to hurt sunshine, she just needs to learn a lesson," Hoseok scoffs.

The men around you share a look, a silent conversation passing between them. You have no idea what they're thinking but it frightens you to know that this must have been something they have already discussed, that they've already decided on a punishment should you ever disobey them.

"Who–?" Seokjin trails off, biting his lip nervously between his teeth.

"I'll do it," Taehyung sounds chastised, his voice meek as he adds, "I should do it."

He takes a seat in the middle of the couch, dragging his hands over his jeans as he gives Namjoon a nod to show that he's ready.

"W-what, no!" You uselessly tug at Namjoon's coat as he strides across the room, your frozen limbs making it impossible to fight back as you're carefully manhandled across Taehyung's lap.

Fingers wrap around your ankles, keeping your legs glued against the couch as you futilely try to push yourself up with shaking arms. Another hand is pressed against the small of your back, rendering your movement useless. No matter how much you try to squirm, you're simply too exhausted and cold to shake them off.

It takes you a second to recognize the position you're in, disgust curling in your stomach as it hits you that you're about to be spanked.

"I'm not a c-child," You bite through clattering teeth, fingernails digging into threadbare cushions.

"No? You sure act like one," Hoseok scowls. "Big girls wouldn't run off like you did."

You jerk as Taehyung's hand settles on the back of your thigh. You turn your head back to look at him as the others crowd around the couch, voice breaking as you whisper, "Please don't."

Taehyung doesn't meet your eye. His gaze is trained resolutely on his hand, his expression pinched. The corner of his mouth is downturned as he moves his hand from your thigh to your butt, his long fingers easily spanning over one cheek.

You let out a shuddering breath at the unwanted touch, pressing your forehead to the couch to hide away from the six burning pairs of eyes that surround you. Taehyung's fingers flex against the material of your trousers as he murmurs something under his breath, the feeling so weirdly intimate it makes your eyes cloud over, hot tears trailing down your temple.

"It's just ten, babe. We could do a lot worse," He comments gruffly.

There's no preamble before Taehyung raises his hand and delivers the first hit, the harsh smack echoing through the room. You bite your tongue, choking down the strangled cry that tries to rush up your throat.

You feel the imprint of his fingers burn on your cheek, the sudden pain so consuming you barely register how someone else hisses out a low curse.

It's only when Taehyung is on the third hit that you feel how he jolts as his hand makes contact; how it takes him a moment to collect himself before he delivers the next one. The fifth smack brings a weird sense of clarity to you, Yoongi's irritated cough finally making you realize that you're all feeling Taehyung's slaps. Your soulbond is connected through pain so the hurt that blooms with every hit doesn't just affect you – it has an impact on them as well.

The somber atmosphere in the room isn't just because they're disciplining you for running away; they're also punishing themselves for letting it happen.

You let out a harsh breath at the next smack. Despite the numbness in your limbs, you can feel how horrible your butt is stinging, the alternating hits doing little to lessen the pain a new one brings. It becomes harder and harder to think with each hit, your mind slowly falling apart under the excruciating combination of fear, exhaustion and pain.

The final smack seems to linger in the room and the silence that follows feels so thick you might crumble under it.

Your right-hand aches as Taehyung uses his to lightly rub over your smarting ass, his breathing shaky as he tries to soothe the bruises that are no doubt already starting to form.

"Hyung," Taehyung rasps.

The hands pressing on your back and ankles disappear in an instant. Taehyung springs away as Namjoon lifts you, moving your body into Seokjin's waiting arms. You try to blink away the tears clinging to your lashes as Seokjin leans you back against his chest, taking some of the pressure off your backside as you're maneuvered to lay on your side.

"You're absolutely freezing, angel," He tuts. He motions for Yoongi to grab him a nearby blanket, quickly tucking you in. The warmth that wraps around you is a small comfort, but it's not nearly enough to quell the shivers that are still rattling through your body.

"Let's do this quick, she needs to warm up."

You swallow thickly as Namjoon kneels by your feet, gently pulling your socks off. They're so cold you struggle to move your toes.

It's not until a rush of warm air hits your exposed skin that you realize you're hurt. Your soles are aching something fierce and you catch a glimpse of blood on the socks Namjoon throws down beside him.

"Darling," Namjoon furrows his brows as he looks at the torn skin, tongue poking into his cheek in disappointment. "Why did you do this to yourself?"

He shakes his head as if you're going to answer him. Heaving out a heavy sigh, Namjoon wordlessly accepts a small basin of warm water and a cloth from Hoseok, wetting and wringing the material out before he brings it to your feet.

You let out a wounded hiss as he makes contact, your foot involuntarily jerking away from the water that stings your open cuts. The quick movement causes you to drag your sole against the couch and it only causes you more hurt, a sharp pain shooting up your leg.

"Fuck," You whimper, body shaking against Seokjin's as Namjoon quickly reaches out to grab your foot, holding it securely over the side of the couch. You can feel Seokjin's leg twitch as the pain moves through the soulbond, the others grimacing as they feel it too.

"Angel, please be careful," Seokjin admonishes as he tucks his head over your shoulder, holding you in a tight hug as he rests his cheek against yours.

You shudder as Namjoon once again brings the cloth back to your skin, wincing as he meticulously and carefully cleans up all the dried blood and dirt clinging to your wounds. Namjoon's voice is perturbed as he moves on to your other foot, holding it with a firm grip as he says, "This is why we were holding you down during your punishment, darling, so you wouldn't hurt yourself more by moving around. We don't enjoy doing any of this."

You choose not to voice your disbelief. Judging by the sour look Jimin sports as he stares you down, you're sure it's written all over your face regardless.

Namjoon hands off the dirty water and cloth to Yoongi, switching it out with an antiseptic cream that he starts dabbing on your cuts.

Seokjin's warm breath hits the corner of your mouth as he cautiously asks, "What made you come back, Joon? You weren't supposed to return until tomorrow."

The bandage that's being wrapped around your left foot pauses, Namjoon tilting his head as he mulls over what to respond.

"I think it was that pull you've talked about before. I just suddenly felt like I had to go back to the cabin, that I was needed here," He lets out a low snort, humorless. "I guess whatever feeling it was, was correct."

"Interesting," Yoongi muses. He leans against Jungkook's chair, absentmindedly patting the youngest's hair. Jungkook leans into the comforting touch, face still marred with shame as he chances a glance over at you in Seokjin's arms.

You stare blankly down at Namjoon's hands as he finishes up one bandage and moves on to the next, his words echoing in your head. Did the soulbond somehow call him back? If it knew you were trying to put distance between yourself and your soulmates, can it work against you to keep you from separating from them?

You don't want to believe that it can affect you that much. But if it is true, does that mean your own soul is betraying you – that it'll do whatever it takes to keep you close to these monsters who don't actually care about you, as long as it'll keep the bond strong?

"It's definitely too strange to just be a coincidence," Hoseok purses his lips.

The sweater you picked out this morning suddenly feels too heavy on your shoulders. Was it just by chance that you picked out one that belongs to Namjoon, or is there something else to it? Can you even trust yourself anymore?

You barely register as Namjoon finishes wrapping up your foot, the blanket being pulled away from your body as Seokjin lets go of your waist. Your chest is tight and your vision spotty as you're handed off to Yoongi, too many awful thoughts and feelings all vying for your attention at once.

You feel yourself being carried again, the lights going from soft to bright, but it's like everything is underwater, muffled and out of reach. Yoongi's blurry face is suddenly in front of yours and it takes you once, twice, to focus on what he's saying; for the words to make any sense. "–can you do it yourself?"

Yoongi sighs as you stare blankly back at him. He brushes a finger down your trembling jaw, wincing at how cold your skin feels. "Y/n, you really need to warm up. I'm going to place a stool for you inside the shower so that you can rest and we can keep your feet outside of it and dry. I know you'd rather not have me undress you, but are you able to do that yourself?"

"Yes," You croak, disgust rippling across your body as you think of Yoongi undressing you, of any of them seeing you so vulnerable.

"Okay," Yoongi says, unconvinced. You bite your lip harshly as you're placed down on the closed toilet seat, the pressure awful on your bruised ass.

Yoongi steps over to turn the shower on for you, the old pipes rattling as water starts spewing out of them. He keeps his hand under the spray until he deems the temperature good enough. His expression is sorry yet firm as steps back, nodding to the door as he explains, "I can't leave the room but I'll keep my back turned to you the entire time. You're too weak to be left on your own right now. I won't turn around until you tell me it's okay. I promise."

"Do you want help to get over to the stool once you're undressed?" Yoongi eyes your bandaged feet, eyebrows drawn tight with worry.

"No," You whisper.

The toilet is only a few steps away from the shower but even just that feels like miles with a body so tired and battered. Still, you're willing to push yourself until you collapse if it means none of them will touch you like that.

"Just let me know if you need help, love," Yoongi sighs as he walks over to the door, facing it head-on like promised.

Getting undressed is a battle but it's one you refuse to lose. You keep your eyes locked on Yoongi's back as you pull off layer after layer, the steady steam rising in the bathroom only making your shivers worse. You refuse to strip down further than your underwear, the pieces offering you some modesty in a situation that just feels so mortifying.

You pull yourself up on your feet with a yelp, legs shaking with pain as you slowly hobble over to the shower. You're not sure how you manage to maneuver yourself down on the stool but you do, and the relief of warm water cascading down your frozen body is so great you can't hold back the sob that rips out of your throat.

Yoongi's back tenses as he hears the broken noise, his hands gripping the doorframe to keep himself in place. He never turns his head, choosing instead to rest it against the door, taking deep and measured breaths as he listens to your choked cries and whimpers.

The warmth slowly returning to your limbs is downright awful. The cold clinging to your skin refuses to bulge at first, and when it finally does slip, it feels like pins and needles being hammered into your flesh as the water rains down on you. The shivers slowly ebb away the longer you sit in the shower, your dry calves and feet prickling with the weird temperature difference.

You lose track of time as the heat gently returns to your body, face swollen and puffy as the last of your hopelessness trickles out through your eyes.

You're exhausted and everything hurts. It's like your mind and body has been fractured into a thousand pieces, all of them poking and pricking you no matter what muscle you flex or what direction your thoughts try to stray.

You just want to sleep, to forget, for a little while.

Yoongi straightens up as the water is turned off. His voice is hoarse, much like he's been crying himself when he asks, "Are you done, Y/n? Are you still cold?"

You take a deep, shaking breath, filling your lungs with as much bravery as you can muster. "'m done."

"Wrap yourself up in the towel by the shower, love. Let me know when you're covered, yeah? I'll open the door and grab the clothes Jungkook left for you."

You do as Yoongi asks, watching as he opens the door just enough to snatch the clothes waiting for him outside. He walks backward towards the shower, still somewhat respectful of your privacy as he leaves them on the toilet. "Take the time you need to get dressed. I'll wait by the door until you're ready."

Your mind is hazy and drifting as you attempt to dry yourself off, exhaustion weighing your lashes down. Slipping your wet underwear off under your towel in exchange for Jungkook's clothes isn't an easy feat, pain still flaring up your feet as you're forced to put pressure on them. Still, it's a small consolation that Yoongi doesn't attempt to help you until you raise your voice and say that you're done.

Yoongi sweeps you up into his arms before you can even blink, strong arms holding you close to his chest. He swallows hard as he glances down at you, voice unbearably soft as he says, "I really am sorry, Y/n."

He, much like Namjoon, knows he won't be getting an answer. Yoongi steps out of the bathroom with measured steps, making sure not to move you around too much. The cabin is dark and quiet as he carries you down the hallway, the others nowhere to be seen.

"It's been a long day for all of us," Yoongi mutters as if he senses your confusion.

Your fingers find Yoongi's shirt as he steps closer to your room, shock hitting you like a lightning bolt as you see the state of it. The door is broken off its hinges, halfway torn off the frame. The desk you pushed against it is flush with the wall and the rest of your room looks absolutely trashed. Furniture has been flipped over as if they were looking for you under it; your belongings scattered everywhere. The brute force they must have used to get into the room makes you realize just how badly this return, this punishment, could have gone for you.

The moment passes as Yoongi walks further down the hall, but the sick feeling in your stomach lingers.

He nudges one of the ajar doors with his foot, stepping into the room as it opens. The bedroom is bathed in soft light, the pillows on the bed fluffed and the covers already drawn aside. Yoongi carefully places you down on the mattress before he tucks you in, his expression troubled as he watches how you wince and grimace as you try to get comfortable.

"This is Seokjin hyung's room," Yoongi explains, "He'll be staying with you tonight. We ... we're going to be taking turns watching over you."

"Thank you for the introduction, Yoongi-chi," Seokjin's smile is a little strained as he enters the room, a glass of water clutched in his hand. He places it down on the table next to you, patting Yoongi's back before he takes a seat in the plush chair that faces the bed.

"You can go rest now."

"Alright," Yoongi nods. He meets your gaze for a split second, mumbling out a gentle goodnight before he turns on his heel and leaves.

Seokjin lets out a small sigh as the door clicks shut. "I should've given him a talking to for not drying your hair properly but I'm sure you're tired, angel. Damp hair must be the least of your worries right now, huh?" He shakes his head.

You pull the covers up to your chin, eyes alert despite how your lids keep attempting to fall shut every other second. There's not an ounce of trust for them in your body but it's so terribly difficult to stay awake when you want to do nothing but sleep.

"I'm sure you saw the state of your old room," Seokjin winces, "You'll be spending one night with each of us on rotation. You might not wish to have us so close all the time but you shattered the trust we had in you, Y/n."

He folds his hands in his lap with a frown, staring down at his slightly crooked fingers as he says, "You can use the bathroom alone as long as one of us is right outside of the door, but aside from that, we're going to have to watch your every step. We won't allow you to hurt yourself again. I'm sorry it had to come to this but, well, it was the best thing we could settle on."

You close your eyes to avoid the sad look Seokjin gives you, your chest constricting with fury. If they're trying to guilt trip you, it's not working. You can't believe they're trying to frame all of this as them simply looking out for you when in reality, they're robbing you of any agency you have.

As you take deep breaths to quell the anger bubbling in your stomach, you feel yourself growing heavier and heavier, your body sinking into the mattress below. You want to be angry, you want to fight, but what's the use? You won't get another chance at escaping the cabin and your own soul clings to the soulbond, refusing to let you weaken your connection to them.

You fist the sheets, sniffling as darkness begins to drag you under. If the universe wants you here, wants you to stay with them, maybe.. maybe it's time you give up and accept it.

You wake up, drowsy, to the sound of something clattering. It takes you a second to realize that it's coming from you – your teeth rattling in your mouth from the cold that has seeped into the room while you slept. Everything is dark aside from the pale moonlight shining through the window on the other side of the room, your breath fogging up the air in front of you as you breathe.

You gingerly flip over on your other side, pulling the sheets as tight to your body as they can go, but it doesn't help fend the cold off. It's no wonder this cabin is abandoned during most of the year, not if it's reliant on the fireplace in the common room to heat up the entire place.

After what feels like an eternity of shivering, you hear Seokjin's raspy voice calling out in the quiet room. "Angel? Are you cold?"

Fabric rustles as he shifts in the chair. You hold yourself as still as possible as footsteps pad across the wooden floors, Seokjin's darkened silhouette coming into view. He hesitates by the side of the bed for a second, just enough for your teeth to start clattering again before he makes up his mind and climbs in. The mattress dips as Seokjin's weight settles upon it, the man in front of you scooting down until he's facing you in the dark.

A rush of cold air hits your body as he raises the sheets to shimmy under them, an arm curling around your waist before you can even think to open your mouth. Seokjin presses himself flush against your body, mindful of your injuries as he tucks your face into his neck.

"I'm still upset with you, angel, and I know you're upset with me, but you need my body heat if you want to sleep."

Seokjin is very warm.

You inch closer without even meaning to, your sleepy brain desperate for the heat that radiates off him. Seokjin lets out a small gasp as your cold nose skims against his throat, his hand pressing between your shoulder blades to keep you close.

Sleep slowly begins to weigh down your eyelids again as you soak up Seokjin's warmth, your body relaxing so deeply it feels like your bones have been turned to mush. The last thing you remember is Seokjin nuzzling his face into your hair, lips pressing against it in a soft kiss that makes your heart flutter.

Perhaps, if you had been a little more awake, you would've realized it wasn't fear that made it skip a beat.

a/n: you can read ch 11 of lovesick early by clicking here!

it only took ten months but we're back baby!! how are we feeling about what happened in this chapter? namjoon bringing her back, the boys' reaction and her "punishment", her private moment with yoongi and seokjin ... lots of things happened so i would love to hear what you're thinking!!

see you in the next chapter and remember to wish jimin a happy b-day!! 💖

#bts x reader #yandere bts #yandere x reader #yandere jungkook #yandere jimin #yandere yoongi #yandere hoseok #yandere seokjin #yandere taehyung #yandere namjoon #yandere kpop #bts soulmate au #bts au #yandere bts x reader

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actual-changeling · 5 months

Text

And once more with feeling: Why there is no magic trick or gun to either of their heads in the final fifteen.

Before you immediately run to my comments or hit reblog, please read the entire thing. If you're still mad, either read it again or sit with it, do not make it my problem. Genuine questions and discussions are always welcome, comments that make it clear you did not understand a word I said aren't.

Okay? Okay.

With that, welcome back to Alex's unhinged meta corner, and today we are going to compare their first and last argument in the bookshop—they are, fundamentally, the same. It both sets the scene for their relationship this season and works as immaculate foreshadowing of how they part.

I compared the scripts, which you can find here. It's incredible that OP put all that work into creating these because otherwise I would have gone insane doing it myself.

Now, the setting: they have a problem.

In ep1 it is Gabriel, in ep6 it is technically still Gabriel, or rather his now empty position in heaven. They solved one problem and now they're forced to deal with another one he also caused; meanwhile he's drinking space margaritas.

Crowley, stuck in his trauma-induced hypervigilance and paranoia, suggest putting as much distance between them and the problem as possible. I think it is interesting that in ep1 he wants to get Gabriel away from them, while at the end of the season he is ready to get them away from the problem.

So far, I have never seen anyone mention that change! And it's important! The entire season, it is hammered into our heads how much they love being on earth. It is THEIR bookshop and THEIR car and THEIR life.

Crowley wants to protect that home, and Gabriel is a threat to it, a threat to both of them, their life, the bookshop—everything. He does not want to leave, he wants his peace and angel in one place.

Yet by allowing Gabriel to stay, Aziraphale destroyed the sense of comfort and safety Crowley slowly developed over the last few decades. Heaven nipping down every now and then to check in with Aziraphale is very different from him sheltering the Supreme Archangel who is running from 'something terrible' without even asking if he's alright with that.

Aziraphale calls it their bookshop, but he fundamentally still sees it as his space to govern and Crowley as a guest.

After another horrible week and having his previously safe space violated several different times and beings, Crowley is back to where he was before—without a home. That fragile existence broke apart, so he is standing in the heap of shards and telling Aziraphale 'I don't feel safe here anymore, let's leave'.

He lost his safe space, but he still has his safe person, his best and only friend, the person he loves. I doubt he cares where exactly they go as long as they're together and it's safe.

Returning to heaven—it is the one place Crowley cannot follow him to. It's literally the worst option, he can't go back, he won't go back. So he invokes the bookshop again, if you don't want to stay for me, stay for the bookshop, your books, your corner of existence that I thought we had carved out for ourselves.

'Nothing lasts forever' and 'you're at liberty to go' have the same underlying meaning—you're not welcome in this house anymore, it was your safe place, not anymore. Both times, he's essentially kicking him out.

Aziraphale then switches it up again!

Same manipulation tactic, first making Crowley feel rejected and unwelcome, then trying to pull him back in by promising and showing affection. He's desperate, he's attempting to get Crowley into his "saviour" role because he knows he has a hard time not saving him from whatever trouble he gets him into. Aziraphale knows him so damn well, and he uses that knowledge to get what he wants.

'If you won't, you won't' has the same implication as 'then there's nothing more to say'—I am ending that conversation, you can leave now, he even makes the same face both times.

In ep1, that's that, Crowley takes his emotions and leaves.

The lightning bolt is the kiss. A sudden, heavy discharge of pent-up feelings that has been a long time coming, but in the end he is more desperate, less controlled, at his emotional rock bottom. Everything he thought to be true about their relationship came crashing down around him.

In his mind, Aziraphale chose heaven over him—TWICE! First Gabriel, now Gabriel's position.

'You're on your own with this one' applies to both scenes, I think the reasoning behind that is pretty clear.

Now, some more verbal components and word meanings that I think are worth mentioning.

One of them is Crowley directly pointing out heaven's cruelties when Aziraphale is seemingly unaware of them, thinking of Gabriel/heaven as in in need of his 'help'.

I can take help him -> I can make a difference.

It is, fundamentally, the same argument.

Aziraphale feels like he is the one who needs to play saviour (that Crowley actually hates it but Aziraphale loves it is a post for another time), the one being who can help Gabriel/heaven and fix all the problems.

Crowley correctly points out that they do not care about him and are just as cruel—if not more—as hell, that Gabriel tried to destroy him, that heaven will destroy all of them.

Their responses to that just shoot past each other and it is what Crowley himself tells us. Two different exactlys

Aziraphale's -> I am the only one who can fix this, I feel responsible for this, help me fix this.

Crowley's -> This is dangerous, it can get us killed, we cannot fix this. Come and be safe with me.

'He needs us' becomes 'I need you'.

'I would love you to help me' becomes 'we can be together'.

In episode 1, the argument isn't 'final', as such. Crowley is exhausted, sad, feels rejected, but when he finds out just how much trouble Aziraphale is in, he needs to go back and help him. It's instinct, he couldn't live with himself if he knowingly let him walk into the knife—and yet in episode 6 that is exactly what Aziraphale forces him to do.

It is why Crowley brings up the nightingales, why he kisses him: that primal, love-based desperation. This argument is final, he won't be able to follow him to heaven no matter what, he won't be able to protect him.

He is on his own with this one.

In conclusion, THIS is why the argument that happened in the final fifteen is real, there's no trick, no nothing.

They have had the same argument before, probably over and over again. Same structure but with lower stakes, and eventually they reconciled.

This time the stakes are as high as they possibly can be, which lures their most primal, honest arguments out of them.

Aziraphale wants to fix heaven, wants to help, still believes that they are fundamentally good, that he can make a difference.

Crowley has lived the truth, has been trying to tell him for centuries, and he is exhausted. He wants safety. He wants peace. He wants the two of them in a peaceful, not-fragile corner of existence that no one else gets to break ever again.

Not a single line was 'out of character', this is exactly who they are, with all their layers stripped away and their fears exposed. It's not pretty to watch, it hurts, it makes you ache, and yet they and we know that this is how it has the end—the only way it was ever going to end.

That is what makes it tragic.

However, even after all of that, there is one step left: reconciliation.

Season 3 is going to give it to us, in whatever shape or form. Neil knows what he is doing, and we can trust him to give them the ending they deserve.

#alex talks good omens #good omens #ineffable husbands #good omens meta #crowley #aziraphale #good omens season 2 #go2 #aziracrow #crowley x aziraphale #ineffable divorce #the final fifteen #crowley meta #aziraphale meta #every single time someone tries to argue with me about this again i will just link this post

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deyisacherry · 11 months

Text

3 steps for a love confession — DCA x Y/N

First step, analyze their feelings for you. Done.

Second step, accept them. Done. Hardly.

Third step…

Confess.

There you were, sitting behind the desk. The kids had recently left, the Pizzaplex hadn't closed yet.

Good, great, wonderful. They have time.

Sun had excused himself to you, saying that he had to tidy up some things in his room. Of course… walking around the site, accustomed to nimbly dodging the pile of things lying on the floor, was the complete opposite of that.

Thank the stars that he and Moon can communicate internally, or his incessant nervous chatter would have been noticed by you a long time ago.

"How is someone supposed to confess their feelings? What are we supposed to do? You know how bad I am at telling the truth, I'll just say something stupid to avoid it and ruin it, I'm sure. Very sure!" Sun paced back and forth, his beams spinning as he tried to think. Poor thing, anyone who saw him from the outside could tell that he had gone crazy. He even moved his hands in expressive gestures as he communicated with Moon.

"Staying up here, not talking to them, probably not much will happen if we keep doing this."

"Moon! I'm serious! I'm not good at this, and you- neither are you!"

"Rude."

"You know what I mean."

"So cruel."

"Moon."

"I know, I'm just playing."

Sun sighs, stopping his pacing. "Maybe a letter? They're nice, and personal, and… oh, no, no, I'm going to get carried away and probably make them feel uncomfortable, plus I don't have self-control with details, and drawings, and glitter glue-" Sun he lets out an exasperated groan in his mind space, causing Moon to growl. "Why is this so difficult?!"

"Noisy."

"Please be of more help, you also want them to know how we feel." Sun says, with a tired expression.

"Flirt until they find out?"

"Oh, please…" Sun says annoyed, placing a hand on his forehead in disappointment.

"Hey, it's not even that terrible." Moon defends himself against his reaction. "You don't have to be too obvious… just play around."

"It's easy for you to say, you always do…"

"Not like this…"

Sun is silent for a few seconds, and then groans softly knowing that he is accepting his proposal.

"I guess we can try." He crosses his arms, looking down at the Daycare through his balcony.

"I have an idea."

"You do?"

"Yes."

"… Should I trust you?"

"Maybe you should, maybe you shouldn't." Moon responds, with a very soft laugh.

Sun has a feeling that he's going to regret it.

———

When the crepe paper rose is ready, Sun holds it in one hand, while the other one holds a piece of sticky tape.

"… This is goofy… even for me."

"If you don't try, you'll never know."

"Don't apply my sayings to me!"

"Just do it."

Sun complains silently, and begins with the last step of Moon's idea. Best scenario, it really works. Worst scenario… he'll resign himself to letting you see him and will stay in his room forever.

"… I'll blame you if anything happens."

———

There's at least an hour left before the Pizzaplex closes its doors. You are reviewing some messages that you forgot to reply to. Yep… it was definitely a good idea to have disabled the option to show when you read a message. It saves you from the idea that they will hate you for losing social energy mid-conversation and leaving them on seen.

You're in the middle of drinking some coffee you ordered, when you feel Sun approaching. You usually let him talk or do something, so you don't turn to look at him. But he doesn't do anything, so oddly enough, you look away from the screen to where you know he is.

And you're immediately greeted by the sight of Sun, with a paper rose taped to his smile. His eyes narrow with excitement as he leans across the desk. "Hello, Sunshine~"

A wink from him, and- Oop.

You just choked on your coffee from how badly that caught you off guard, coughing and covering your mouth as you look away in panic.

"Oh no, no, no! Sunshine! Sorry! Sorry! Bad timing for that! I'm really sorry!" Sun tries to get his hands closer to you but he doesn't know how to help, and seeing him with the rose still stuck to his mouth doesn't help your coughing stop.

———

"I knew it was a bad idea! I knew it! I knew it! And you knew it! You wanted to make fun of me!" Sun yells into his headspace, pressing a Freddy stuffed plushie against his face.

"But the flirting worked, they were blushing and embarrassed."

"They weren't blushing nor embarrassed! They were choking!"

"… Isn't that how embarrassed people react to something like that?"

"Moon!"

… The third step will have to be postponed.

---

edit: god dang it i just realized i made some mistakes with the font color AAA

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spotlightlowlife · 4 months

Text

Mammon is the best written character in Helluva Boss!

He reflects the 'sins' of others back at them, audience included.

Was he a worst boss than Blitzø?

Was young Blitzø right to try and hinder Fizz's dreams?

See through her successful execution, was Bee not just as shallow business friendly?

Is he any more responsible for the sxxbots than Ozzie?

Was Ozzie withholding the foundation Fizz was frantically looking for as he tried to talk him out of the pageant, only revealing it and handing it over when he give up trying something that's just fine?

Do Fizz's other bad experiences pale in comparison to working with Mammon?

Bosses are bad, parents suck and anyone with power is an issue really, they upset the fav and if it's a problematic fav, well it's this baddies fault.

Formulaic? Yes.

I like this show and have no issue admitting it's definitely guilty of all these, case in point with the character in question, an employer and royalty who refers to his victum as child, stepchild and granchild, but this show has an additional villain common theme, which is sex and lack of.

Where Verosika is an actual sucubus and former love interest of Blitzø and Barbie debuted manipulating a teenage boy, Mammon instead comes from a long line of de-sexualised non throw away adversaries, following in the footsteps of business bad dad Paimon, failing business bad dad Buckzo and self made widower bad dad Crimson, along with the "prude" angels and Striker, who Millie's parents were very fond of whilst openly disproving of Millie's choice of husband in Moxxie, who struck up a one sided rivalry with Striker, only Striker wasn't interested in either of them.

Mammon joins this club by showing his discomfort at the prospect of producing sexbots, quickly rebuking any potential critics in words of pure projection. Years later these dolls have low gone down well because they are marketed in all areas, though their appears to still be little appreciation for them as first one we meet is poorly maintained dispite being a host at a large family amusement park.

Still, he made the bots work even though it wasn't for him. Ironically it is Ozzie the prince of lust who manufactures the dolls, yet the doll proposal (which the audience were made aware of) and assumed business collaboration between the two princes was a thing before Fizz chose entered the (optional) competition, won and found fame, yet now Ozzie has caught feelings for Fizz there's now issue with his sxdolls existing and who's fault is this?

Another thing Mammon appeared to talk down on was pageants, but still, he stepped back from his "clown stuff" he "doesn't even do [clown stuff] anymore" and into that boss, mentor/instructor/agent, stage parent role to train who ever happened to win the pageant, his methods are reminiscent of many of those who rigidly train performing artists, like it or not.

It was a disingenuous claim for Ozzie to make that Mammon has done nothing for Fizz, better performer maybe, doesn't need that gig definitely, but a dislike of someone doesn't equal they're good for nothing as much as people get comfortable believing and this invalidates Fizz's stress, guilt and loyalty based on feelings of debt and inadequacy.

Fizz needed the confidence to be able to move on, his situation wasn't an unrelatable one, there's nothing wrong with taking all you have gained, bidding farewell and leaving certian situations behind. Though the episode moved in the 'business is bad, bosses are bad' direction, yet still Mammon was the one to make this turn fun.

Seriously though, we only ever hear of business in passing from Stolas, Ozzie or Bee, Bee and Ozzie getting to have nothing but fun whilst fulfilling their role, getting up close and personal, forming loving relationships with those at the very bottom of the social structure we are supposed to believe is a thing. Mammon on the other hand, insincere affection and vulgarity aside, was rather professional - as insincere as his interest in wellbeing may be he did still show up when Fizz stalker approached to ask how Fizz was and did offer to let Glitz and Glam performe first which was undeniably helpful, even if it was just to get back on track. He was consistent with his work and purpose, who didn't let us know of any interests outside of work, we never know what is his opinion, so was the "women just aren't funny" remark, that wasn't a joke and was retracted later, based on sales, as he really didn't care who entered or won any of the pageants and the context was to not waste anyone's time?

Is he more chauvinistic than Fizz and Blitzø who referred to Glitz and Glam as "bitches", "snatches" and "sluts"?

Another remark was Fizz's supposed weightgain, again, not a joke, just who does constantly put up with totally uncalled for fat jokes at work? Moxxie. Blitzø would react to a weight gain remark directed at Fizz but unlike Mammon who took back a previous statement without really needing to, do we get the impression that Blitzø now regrets partaking in fat jokes aimed at his most erratic employee?

In Blitzø we get someone who isn't very professional, who is overly personal and aggressive with his employees, whose screen time has deviated from the business he made the effort to set up, who doesn't listen to idea or reason, knows best and makes poor business decisions such as spending a chunk of money advertising on a tv station that hardly has viewers. Pilot matters, content is content.l for us to eat up.

Blitzø let's Fizz know that he's being spoken to in a way he shouldn't, yet within his almost every communication with Moxxie being cruel, he too has behaved in a dismissive toxic positive way, remember the party thrown for Moxxie who had to do something he felt conflicted in doing then didn't feel good about it later? Who cared if he enjoyed himself.

Moxxie's behaviour during the recent summer camp episode was heavily down to finally getting the freedom work without being shot down, berated, threatened and ignored. He would go on to realise that his desperation to work his vision resulted in him not listening to Millie and being insensitive and he corrected himself. Great character development, in an episode were we followed the main characters at work, something we do half the time.

On the subject of work.

All those years ago, why exactly did Blitzø cringe the very moment Mammon proposed the pageant that would have the winner work with him? Because he didn't want to risk Fizz leaving his side, he made that clear, he even strategically answered but not really Fizz's question about if he could win, but what shadowed this was his later decision that the show turned out to be a waste of his savings, there were too many clowns and Mammon puked and passing out on stage. Same Blitzø who was enthused to be there, showed no disdain to clowns and had no plans to leave his family circus, dumping on Fizz's dreams out of nervousness at things changing and being left behind.

Fast forward and the once mild mannered Blitzø has grown into an obnoxious exhibitionist whose antisocial behaviour has caused him loneliness, dispite being very supportive at times. We have seen get blackout drunk when centre of attention and spew. Still, all these years later, we have no hindsight but Blitzø knows Mammon is a phoney who he saw through, but what does he base this on? 'Extortion', the slip Blitzø didn't react to?

Up until this episode Fizz was doing very well for himself, he was famous as he had wanted to be, he lived a happy life of riches, fun job and pushing lust with his sugar daddy lover, who is royalty, who he wakes up to each morning, who manufactures his dolls?

Fizz had only been the reigning pageant champion for 10 years, wasn't the accident and his fall out with Blitzø prior to this? Until we follow Fizz, who is very irritated at Blitzø's presence, there's no proof of Mammon being a bad boss. Fizz was insecure about his appearance, from a recent injury and the accident all those years ago which we were reminded of throughout the episode, in addition the pageant was a major source of stress as he had to do well, he had been holding the title of champion for a decade, who wouldn't be stressed?

Let's not forget that he also doubted Ozzie's love for him believing it to be down to his popularity.

Let's not forget his stalker who has been obsessed with him since he was still at home.

But we are used to seeing fun.

Ozzie, Bee and Mammon all hosted a big bash when we met them, they were all working, their guests made a choice to be there and their events were the place to be, only this time we got the employees perspective, think for those who work at restaurants, bars and nightclubs where the patrons enjoy themselves, it's not so fun on the other side and it's often the nepo folks who include lovers that have an easier time.

Work ain't fun most of the time.

Lastly.

Why was Mammon not allowed to be mad after allowing himself to be publicly roasted to a large crowd on his stage before having his greedy supply cut off, why would it be of any surprise that he would react? Bee and Ozzie were had no issues intimidating Loona, Mille and Moxxie for disrespecting them on their turf.

When is it OK to proudly display and endorse control and bullying? When you're loved or lovable?

We have enjoyed a dark comedy built on power play and sarcasm, so what does it take to make these serious problems in the real world problematic? Someone who isn't there to be liked?

This is good writing.

There are too many writers involved to not know what they're doing. They are active online and the fanbase is rampant with their blind loyalty to the show and the character invested in by giving them simple brownie points. Too many wouldn't believe that I enjoy this series and like all the characters mentioned.

Mammon was created to out and troll the the fanbase.

#helluva boss #helluva mammon #helluva boss fandom #helluva boss critical #but i like it #double standards #You are being played #long post #sorry english is not good #hear me out

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ash-whimsicalfanfic · 1 year

Text

Agent Rushmore (CH 4)

Leroy Jethro Gibbs X Fem OC/Reader

Word Count: 1094

Warning: Mild language, violence, gore, guns, fluff, smut, angst, PTSD, graphic scenes…

Prompt: Special Agent Locklyn Rushmore, a highly trained Russian assassin who is skilled in all forms of hand-to-hand combat, weaponry, negotiating and more. When her cover is blown, she is returning back to NCIS headquarters in D.C…

Locklyn Rushmore POV

I yawn, laying my head back on the towel. I was laying on one of the autopsy tables, trying to take a nap. Gibbs and his team were going to go gather the files of the ten federal agents we narrowed it down to.

There wasn't much I could do. I was on strict orders to stay in autopsy because the bulletproof windows weren't fully installed yet. I find myself curling into a ball as I lay on my side.

I close my eyes, hating the eerie silence in here. Palmer and Ducky had gone to Abby's lab to give me some time to be alone. I didn't want to be alone though. I don't think anyone understood that.

I find myself lulling to sleep. It was the worst kind of sleep you could get. An in between sleep. My hand was on my gun and I was alert of my surroundings.

"She's perfect, isn't she?" Kenzo asks.

His fingers were stroking through my hair, but I feigned sleep. I could feel his eyes on me. I knew someone else was in the room.

"Beautiful, yes. But, can she be apart of this family?" A deep voice asks.

"Yes, papa. She can. She's perfect for me. And if she isn't, I'll handle her. Trust me. She's the one." Kenzo says.

I stir and I hear a door open before closing. I slowly open my eyes, meeting Kenzo's green ones. He's smiles, however I jump away from him, scooting as far as the bed allowed me.

"Relax Svetlana, your safe. Now, you have two options. One, willingly get to know me and become my fiancé. Two, willingly get to know me and become my fiancé." He says.

"Those are the same things, mudaka! Let me go." I growl.

"Oh Svetlana, I love the fire that burns in you. It intrigues me. But, I can't let you go. You'll be my fiancé. Or you'll die. Pick wisely, bambina." He says.

My eyes snap open and I click the safety off, pointing the gun. Gibbs quirks a brow, nodding slightly.

"I'm impressed. It's just me." He says.

I click the safety on, slowly setting the gun down before pulling myself up to a seating position.

"Sorry, boss." I say.

"Rule six, don't ever say sorry." He says.

I nod, pursing my lips. There are rules. Interesting.

"What's up? Or do you casually like to watch women sleep?" I tease and he chuckles.

"I came down to check up on you. But, you pulled your gun on me before I could leave seeing as you were sleeping." He says.

"A force of habit I learned was to be in an in between sleep whilst undercover." I explain.

"A good habit. Locklyn, if you ever need to talk, I'm here to listen. Going undercover isn't easy as it is. And for how long you've been undercover, makes it ever harder." He says.

"Thanks, Gibbs. I appreciate it." I say.

"Your family now." He says.

"I'm still stuck in here, aren't I?" I ask.

"They're getting closer to finishing the windows." He says, chuckling.

His silver hair and blue eyes already have dragged me down. I've never seen a pair of blue eyes like his. I wet my lips, letting out a deep breath.

"I can't wait for all this to blow over." I grumble.

He nods, studying me. I let him, not having anything to hide. I was tired of hiding. I wanted to be seen.

"Have you talked with a shrink yet?" He asks.

"Jen got me out of that. I would have just lied anyway. I don't like shrinks. Kudos for the work they do, but if I'm going to talk...it's going to be someone I know and trust. Not someone who looks at me as another case." I say and he snorts.

"Your stubborn." He says.

"Maybe. Maybe not. You've studied me ever since I stepped foot back in NCIS headquarters. Tell me, what have you gathered about me?" I ask, slowly strolling around the room.

"You've been alone for years and now you want someone...to be there...to listen to you...to comfort you. You want a family—whether it be a work family or an actually family. You want to be happy and you are trying hard to find yourself. Being undercover has mixed your identities together." He says.

"Hm, I'm impressed. I didn't take you to be a profiler. I am a profiler and I missed that detail about you." I say.

"And what have you gathered about me, Rushmore?" He asks, watching me.

"Hm...married a few times. How could a woman resist you? However, your divorced—several times maybe. A family man...but something happened. Something bad...something that haunts you. It's something you feel guilty for although it was out of your control, wasn't it? Yeah, I can tell by that face it was. You don't necessarily like people. You find peace in your home, whether it be alone or with a friend. You aren't a man of much words. You analyze. Hmm...you work with your hands. A hobby? Or a side-job maybe? Your type in woman is red heads. I've noticed you staring at me since I've entered. You also are more of ass man, am I wrong?" I ask and he chuckles.

"No. How have you gathered that without hardly looking at me?" He asks.

"I'm a profiler. That's why the FBI wants me so bad. But, I prefer NCIS." I say.

The doors open and we both look over to see the team enter. I watch Director Shepard break through and she quirks a brow at me.

"I see you two are getting along. I was nervous." She admits.

"I'm not one to bite on their first days." Gibbs says and I smirk.

"I'm not one to deny a bite from a good-looking man, Gibbs. In fact, I might have my own bite." I say, smirking and he grins.

"He head slaps. Be safe." Tony says.

"I like to break noses and face consequences later." I say, shrugging.

"Don't make my life a living hell having to cover for you, Lock." Director Shepard sighs.

"I'll try to control my urges, Director. No promises. I've done well the past five years. Actually...never mind. I haven't." I mumble.

"I can't say I'm surprised." She chuckles.

"In my defense, mafia men are sleezy. If anyone thinks they can grab my ass without permission, that is where they are wrong." I say.

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thefirstknife · 11 months

Note

I think the reason people are saying that scene should have been in Lightfall's campaign is because it's so incredibly vital to the story and anybody who isn't around for, can't afford, or skips seasonal content is missing such a hugely important scene. Which is actually a fair criticism of the entire seasonal model, which makes the game a lot less accessible for new players unless they're capable of doing hours of research and sitting around watching videos to get the story (which, for a *game* people do for fun is a lot to ask and a large turnoff for a fair few people). I agree that as is, the scene wouldn't have fit in the expansion we actually got--but I can see the complaint that they should have structured the campaign in a way that included this information. (Though some people are being very rude in how they give the criticism)

Yeah, I agree with that. I think a better way to go about it is to continuously ask for a way to preserve seasonal content (at least some of it) in the game. As of right now, a lot of some of the most crucial events in the game happened in seasons that can no longer be played and can only be viewed online. Bungie even started uploading all seasonal content officially to their youtube for people to be able to see, but that just makes us go back to the days of D1 where crucial lore was online instead of the game. Obviously in this case, a whole seasonal story mission with cutscenes is probably harder to keep in the game than lore tabs but you know.

A really good way would be to make use of the in-game timeline feature and expand on it. Make the timeline more in-depth, add more menus so that you can click to see more about a season and have menus that allow you to access and rewatch seasonal cutscenes and officially made summaries done with the in-game engine (something like the summary made as an intro to the Season of the Deep). Summarise a season with more information and let us rewatch cutscenes as a part of the timeline feature.

Best case scenario would be to grab most important seasonal gameplay missions, pack them into mini replayable missions and drop them in a Legends tab where people can go to check out past content and replay it themselves. This doesn't have the involve the full seasonal content obviously, because the seasonal activities and environments are gone, but a lot of those were not open world instances anyway. Saving Saint is entirely in a separate environment.

Obviously, all of this is a lot of work and, depending on the engine and other issues, may not even be possible. At least not right now. It would be nice though, especially the second option.

For now, I think we'll be stuck with youtube-only content which isn't the worst, but it's definitely inaccessible and it's not ideal. I'm sure that Bungie will keep the summary of this knowledge in the same way they summarised a lot of other stuff recently as intros to campaigns and seasons. Hell, TFS teaser included a summary of the last few years of the story and that was 40 seconds long. They will not just like... completely forget to mention this ever again.

Definitely the best thing would be to make sure that this cutscene will be viewable in-game. I hope that at some point they'll make this possible. It's the core issue of this whole problem and I wish people focused on that instead of saying that this should've just been a part of the campaign or that it would've "fixed" all of Lightfall when that's simply not true and also would not make sense. But do I wish for this cutscene to remain in the game forever? Absolutely. We desperately need the timeline feature to actually offer a substantial look at the timeline and content of past seasons, including cutscenes.

#destiny 2 #ask #long post #my other issue is that a lot of people who complain about cutscenes being gone are the people who don't watch them at all #how many people skip cutscenes and play without caring about the story?#I know there's a lot of people jumping on this train simply because it's negative #obviously not everyone and the criticism is still legitimate; we should be able to keep cutscenes like this forever #but the criticism gets muddied and hijacked in this situation a lot unfortunately

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void-galaxy-shenanigans · 4 months

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This is the second time our temp therapist cancelled on us.

For reference, the therapist we've been seeing was an intern who just graduated. December they did grad stuff & then had to reapply & do onboarding again. That means we had to see another intern in the meantime. We'll just use initials for privacy so let's call normal therapist K and temp therapist C.

C (she/her) is amazing at helping with depression, when she shows up. She has a lot of training on how depression is actually a trauma disorder and blew our mind when she changed our perspective on why depression does what it does. It's something one of our littles brought up in less sophisticated words. That's something for another post.

K (¿they/she? we're pretty sure & gonna ask when we get the chance) is amazing at helping us process trauma, and is extremely knowledgeable about ADHD and autism. They've been amazing at helping us realize when our disabilities are disabling us. They've also been very open to learning about D.I.D. to help us with it.

C was arranged to check in every week since mid December while K is unable to. The first check in was a phone call— totally fine, & they called us out 10mins in (“you laugh when you're uncomfortable or stressed. it's laugh or cry, ¿right?”). So we arranged an in person appointment (because the house we're in isn't safe so we prefer in person) & went to that one & it went well.

But the past 2 weeks C has called out sick, and we had to call and reschedule, but they're only available Wednesday & Thursday so we keep having to reschedule for Wed.

The problem with that is, we really really need therapy. Depression is at its worst in a while, and C-PTSD is back with a vengeance, and we're having relationship communication needs that we wanna run past a therapist, and...we just really need the fuckin appointments.

To be clear, I'm not angry at C for being sick. I'm upset because our therapy office *has other therapists*. They could assign someone else so we can get the help, and instead they called at 8am like ‘C is out of the office, call her office to reschedule’.

I decided to instead ask if K is back in the office & available. They were supposed to be available by early January. The front desk said they didn't know & sent me to the scheduling department, who didn't pick up. I left message to call me back.

Worst case scenario I have an appointment today to get medication (for ADHD & depression, hopefully) so I'll be physically in the office by 11am & can ask them then if K is back. But also. What the heck. :/

I was actually more worried it was the meds appointment being cancelled, which I had to schedule 2.5 months out. Therapy can be scheduled for the next week. But with the worry of not getting meds gone I'm still frustrated at the office for not being more considerate or helpful when I asked for other options.

I didn't get therapy just because; I really badly need it & not having an appointment every week is making me lose my mind. I have so much to unpack. It's not even that my routine is disrupted anymore. I just need someone professional to talk to before I explode, which was the point I got to before they assigned C (because 2 weeks without therapy does this to us; I'm overflowing and super not okay).

This is mostly just to get the swirling thoughts out of my system. I need to put it somewhere.

~Nico (he/they)

#vent #personal #~nico #trauma #therapy

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roseaesynstylae · 11 months

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First it was Law, then Kid, then Killer. Now it's King. Forgive me, it's just that I'm a sucker for some of the hottest men in manga. On that note, I have some thoughts about King. Warning: My thought processes got dark at points, so I feel that I should state up front that, while not mentioned in detail, there are mentions of incest and rape.

I'm wondering where King is right now. I mean, all seven of the (known) Seraphim, which were made from his DNA, have been revealed. The last we saw him, the newest addition to the "Assholes in the Marines" group had him and Queen restrained, with King being impaled with a vine pretty close to the heart. That in no way means that he's dead; people are insanely durable in One Piece, and Lunarians are explicitly stated to be extremely tough even by that standard. The best case scenario is that he somehow escaped off-screen. Worst case scenario, he's been dragged back to the lab, which is probably the worst fate he can imagine. Regardless, I'm hoping he'll show up again.

I have to wonder what he'd think about the Seraphim. I don't think he'd have a positive opinion. Think about it; he had his DNA taken from him, likely while he was being experimented on as a teenager, and it was used to make super-powerful soldiers for the people who were responsible for wiping out every other member of his race. I doubt he'd be pleased to know that, however indirectly, he's being used for the World Government's gain. And then there's the fact that, given his circumstances, he couldn't have given consent for his genetic matter to be used and the fact that it was subsequently used to make children... Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels like this has a vibe that, depending on your perspective, can be likened to rape or might actually qualify. You know, there's some really dark stuff in One Piece. It's just thinly concealed by the wackiness.

I'm wondering if another Lunarian will show up in the series at some point. Sure, they might be completely gone aside from King, but this is Oda. You never know. I've thought a bit about this. The best option is that there's at least one Lunarian aside from King hiding out in some remote place far from the World Government's reach. The worst case scenario is that they're in a lab, being experimented on. The former is the happiest choice, the latter is the most dramatic choice. Guess which one is most likely to be canon?!

Related to above, I have some ideas about what would happen if there was one more living Lunarian, who's also female. While I imagine that King would be incredibly shocked and likely very happy, it would still mean that there would only be two Lunarians left. That, and even if it isn't brought up, there would be an unspoken implication of "We are literally the last of our kind and we happen to be a male and female pair, which is usually what's required for making children. Hmm." Going deeper into that, I can confidently say that even if King and this hypothetical Lunarian woman end up being compatible and attracted to each other, even if they both want to try to continue their race, even if none of the numerous potential problems that couples run into while conceiving and carrying a child to term occur, even if they have a lot of kids... It would be a short-term solution at best, at least in terms of keeping the Lunarian race alive without getting involved with other races (which is an entire other bucket of worms and filled with concerning implications, but for the purposes of this example, I'm talking about the Lunarian species as opposed to hybrids). Keep in mind, I'm working off of the assumption that King and his hypothetical partner are really the only living Lunarians left. That would mean that, if they had kids, there would be no other Lunarians to continue on with, unless they decided to go down the route of another white-haired, fire-associated, almost gone group: The Taryargens. (This can also be called the "Let's Ignore Taboos and the Westermark Effect Option.") But even assuming that they went that way, it would all be gone in a few generations. Minuscule gene pool + inbreeding = Die slowly due to the disorders and lethal recessives brought on by said inbreeding. This, of course, isn't factoring the offspring marrying and having children with members of other races, but it's worth noting that that healthier, saner, and infinitely less disgusting option would still lead to the Lunarian race going extinct. Their genes would eventually be subsumed by everything else, the hybrids would go on to having an increasingly small percentages of their ancestry be Lunarian, and it would eventually end how you'd expect. I mean, my knowledge of genetics is shaky at best, but even I know this.

Well, the above all got dark and depressing, so let me end by saying that I would describe King in a single word: UMPH. (I think that's what I'm supposed to use.)

#one piece #king one piece #king the wildfire

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beardedmrbean · 4 months

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Sorry for the rough anon, also I notice people wonder where the rise of racism the past 10 years

I’m only 23 but…

Black Americans can make white supremacists blushed when it comes to racism

Like I keep seeing the hell white people especially men growing up in inner cities black neighborhoods

Thank you for not joining the kkk despite the pos adults and kids who treated you garbage because of your skintone, thank youuuu.

Ugh don’t get me started on how black people (especially) turn in super kkk grand wizards when a black guy dates/marry a white woman…to the point there a whole episode in a FUCKING DISNEY CARTOON about a black boy who only date white girls because he have a fetish

Ooh you could smell the femcel energy there

Also like people wondering how we got shit like the 1619 project and how people think the BP villain Killmonger was right.

Oh no bigoted af black people always exist, it just other blacks used to punch their teeth in and tell them to piss off

But thanks to affirmative action and Marxist infested colleges telling these racist blacks that racism=power + prejudice. They are in full force now in media and institutions

And yeah the magical negreos movie definitely going to flop. You know I thought I would have humbleness and humiliation when I have a privilege in a studio such as focus that owned by Comcast

But nope, you have to be narcissistic as hell to write in Hollywood

>Ugh don’t get me started on how black people (especially) turn in super kkk grand wizards when a black guy dates/marry a white woman

Jordan Pele and Clarence Thomas come to mind for that, Tiger caught some hell too but he was already playing golf which had the community confused enough, like that guy discovering Hockey.

I'm sure I've gone over the struggle the powers that be don't actually want folks to fight but ummmm.

Back in 1969 the racists of tumblr finally had their first meet up, reminding us all they don't care what race the other person is so long as they're racist.

I can 100% do without all the socialism, since that's just going backwards, that and the "Rainbow Coalition" kinda proved that socialism wouldn't be the best option by instead setting up their own charity and organizing it themselves, no government involvement and they got people fed and taken care of. Socialism might have kept us out of Nam but we'd still be at war on a regular basis and honestly the K/D ratio for socialist nations in war is awful.

Some would classify that as socialism, but then that would also make things like the Catholic Church socialist, instead of a charity. (among other things)

Right up till the FBI flooded their neighborhoods with crack.

Tangent over.

But it's insane to see how one of the groups that winds up saying the worst things about black people is other black people, white folks haven't even come up with a new racist insult for them in over a century, haven't needed to just start using whatever they're calling each other.

But thanks to affirmative action and Marxist infested colleges telling these racist blacks that racism=power + prejudice. They are in full force now in media and institutions

Ya, that's because they can't use crack this time and they still need a way to keep people apart, vote blue no matter who dipshits are part of that as well.

Party allegiance for a party that is doing nothing for you, just stop voting for them, find your local version of Lord Buckethead and vote for them, so the people in office know you're still voting just not for them.

This is applicable to republicans that bitch and moan about RINO's but still vote for them as well.

Circling back round we really need to get that class solidarity thing back, because that's where a voting bloc being created will actually be able to accomplish things.

#anonymous

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danwhobrowses · 9 months

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One Piece Chapter 1090 - Initial Thoughts

Confusion

That was certainly the thoughts that arose upon hearing news of spoilers in a week that's meant to be a break. Honestly I thought it was fakes, attempts to stir fans unaware with falsities.

But lo, they do look very real. If they do become fake expect me to delete this one but the panels, the colour, it all seems to track. Of course TCB hasn't translated it yet so I've had to go back to my older sources, so the context may not be as good.

Spoilers for the Chapter, maybe? Still tentative, but support the Official Release of course

A very rare Kuro return...in the cover page, I do still wonder about the East Blue guys; Kuro, Morgan, Krieg, Gin, not Arlong though don't really give a crap about the shahaha man

We haven't recapped what happened yet, but we've picked up where we left off

Luffy's out with his regular introductions across the Den Den Mushi, which is kinda alarming with the Gorosei on the other side

He confirms to be allied with Vegapunk and uses York's safety to barter the fleet backing off

Embodying evil lads have you considered why humanitarian genius Dr. Vegapunk is allying with a Yonko against the World Government right now?

Ooooh Kizaru's not the only ones listening in, Morgans is too, which means Vivi's getting the scoop...Wapol's also there

The Gorosei engage in Monkey D. Luffy for the first time, asking about their numbers

Luffy goes to answer with 'including the injured' but Robin (identified by the Gorosei) shuts off comms

WHO HURT OUR ROBIN!?

Robin, bandaged around her bare chest, reminds Luffy not to give the enemy information

Through spoiler-talk I couldn't avoid a post saying that Robin was 'uncharacteristic' with people hoping that Devon had already swapped with Robin but this didn't seem uncharacteristic at all

Plus Luffy was hoping that giving them all the info would make the Marines back off, which Usopp points out is not likely

Saturn's already plotting though; they need to keep York, Punk Records and the lab for the Mother Flame (changed back to Flame by Stephen...who still won't fix Zoro/Zolo)

Vice Admiral Doberman does make a case for Lucci and the CP agents, which Saturn affirms is an option and he's just prioritizing the worst case scenario

Aaaaand there it is 'Humans are like insects, they will always reproduce'

Back to York, who uses her communication with the Gorosei to try and threaten the Straw Hats against harming her, only to be smacked by Nami

No seriously who hurt my queen, my wife, my light of the Revolutionaries? I will break them, they will wish they were never drawn

Of course Robin's baby boy Chopper is tending to her so she's in good hands, hooves, hand-hooves

Ah Kaku is also recovering, lamenting taking 2 of the Seraphim

Guessing that means S-Hawk and another (maybe S-Snake) went after Team Atlas/Chopper/Robin, meaning Kaku and Zoro must've engaged against the two since they were following S-Hawk, causing Robin to get hurt

Lilith also mourns Shaka, Pythagoras and the still-alive Edison

For all that aggression Lilith did care, even for Shaka

Lucci's reviewing the situation, which Kaku notices...sus

Usopp contacts with Underground, with the CP agents

They're living it up, dining for the first time in months, they've gone the way the G5 have with the Straw Hats

The Seraphim are also down there, with the CP agents, but trapped in bubbles

The bubbles are reinforced with the same stuff in the Mark 3 Pacifista, with some sea prism energy too

The Seraphim don't look too roughed up, though Snake and Hawk look additionally perturbed

Franky also thanks S-Snake for depetrifying them, which Vegapunk was curious about

Turns out that S-Snake carries the same weakness for Luffy, which Jinbe points out also having seen it first hand

Vegapunk does wonder about the Lineage Factor playing in, I guess he only got Boa's blood after Marineford

Atlas has gotten systems up and running, but the dome remains up, because York locked it in a password she kept from the Records

Stussy is also still here, reviewing the problem with the giant fleet, so she and the Stella look to Nami

The log hasn't reset, but they can still move to the ones active, they set their sights on one of them, which Stella confirms to be Elbaf

Visible shock from Luffy and Usopp, and surprise from Robin too, which leads to singing

Since they cannot escape from the coast, they must leave through the back, but there's still the matter of the fleet and the shield

The VegaForce can fly the Sunny but only out to Egghead's borders, but Franky reassures Vegapunk that they can Coup de Burst the rest of the way

As a result, Atlas, Edison and Stella plan to hack past York's password

With Lilith in charge of the VegaForce, she, Bonney, Luffy and Franky are off to the Sunny

Lilith seems excited, but Bonney and Luffy will miss the food

Bonney praises Sanji though, I wonder if something happened with her and him in the night to make her see him in a high regard

Luffy mentions she's cheerier now though, having given up on killing Vegapunk, since she was crying last night (almost a parallel to Morgans saying the same to Vivi)

Ah sneaky cat, Lucci has been contacting the Navy, that's why he was muttering before, he's given them the whole report

Kizaru and Saturn still feel confident that Luffy's cornered though, though I also feel like they're overestimating the crew

Saturn asks if Kizaru can bypass the shield, since he is light, Kizaru can but notes Sentomaru is down below

Interesting stuff though, even though Saturn suggests ignoring him, Kizaru refuses, he has his own ethics there and he refuses to ignore someone fighting for their duty

He does also pragmatically note that the fleet will be attacked by the Sea Beasts and Mark 3s

But Lucci already found the lab where the Mother Flame is made, which is concerning, York may not be needed at all

The Vice Admirals ready themselves, planning to assault the sea beasts first with intent to free the CP agents

Kizaru makes the move, and Sentomaru is braced for it

The pacifista are ordered to sink the fleet, so down below's gonna turn into a mini-warzone

And Sentomaru and Kizaru clash, the former's Ryou-based ultimate defense vs Kizaru's lightspeed kick

The impact shines bright underneath the labophase, and Luffy senses Kizaru's presence

It's a good chapter even if it is fake.

Taking the impression that it's not because it likely isn't, we do seem to be developing on an exit strategy from Egghead, whether that means direct confrontation with Kizaru remains to be seen.

On the one hand, Kizaru vs Luffy or vs another of the Monster Trio is considered to be the fight of the arc, but maybe it isn't the case? There's still that Blackbeard ship to consider after all. Plus with Saturn coming all the way here we have to expect some physical activity from him. It's not entirely clear how it will go, Oda likely baited a lot of fans with the nine Vice Admirals on the fleet but with Robin injured she may not be as handy in a fight right now. Lucci is still on their side too, and I would guess he plans to strike Stussy at the most opportune moment.

I think I'm most worried about this lab, because you can't make more Mother Flames without more catastrophic consequences. The Gorosei outrank Vegapunk when it comes to the Seraphim so they'd still have them on-hand too. I wonder if the Straw Hats, Vegapunk and Bonney can simply leave Egghead with all that there, plus all that cool tech they could use to upgrade Usopp and Franky, knowing that the Gorosei still get what they want. So we might be in for more delay from leaving, we are expecting an incident to occur after all. I also can't shake some Sabaody energy in this chapter, they say 'we're going to Elbaf' but now Kizaru's here, it's very much like 'we're going to Fishman Island' but now Kizaru's here...it took so long to get to Fishman island and it's taken so long to get to Elbaf XD Still excited though, doubt Shanks will still be there but you could get more Kid and maybe even Big Mom, maybe even Law because Bepo has to surface somewhere.

I am still hoping we track back to what happened the previous day, for the fights and for the Kuma memories, I still also hope Franky gets some shine before leaving the island of his hero. Also I need to put whoever hurt Robin on my list.

But yeah it's a weird spot, since my brain still says 'we're in a break, where did this chapter come from? It must be fake' but it also says 'it looks too much like other chapters to be fake, right down to the grain' so it's messing with my head a little. Either way we'll know next Friday, which means we're getting a week with no official chapter either way.

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merl-out · 21 days

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Breaking Customer Promises and The Harms of Online Business

I ordered a laptop from BestBuy on sale. The next day, I received an email that the order was cancelled. I pulled up a chat to ask why exactly my order was cancelled.

They don't deliver to hotels.

Okay. Sure.

I asked if I could change the address to my work place and was told to fully re-order everything and I would receive a refund for the post-sale price difference. Okay. Sure.

I received the laptop, and it wouldn't turn on.

I took it to my nearest BestBuy. They swap it out easy as pie. I think to myself, "I should've just gone here from the beginning."

Ah, but no matter. I have a laptop and it works great!

I wait a week. No refund. I call them. They assure me, I'll receive an e-mail with the refund in 48-72 hours. Okay. Sure.

I wait another week, just to give them space to process the influx of end of year orders. No refund. I call them again. "The billing cycle takes a month," they tell me, "the refund will come in around 30 days."

Okay. Sure.

It's been four months, friends, and I finally reach out again. Armed with my case ID number, three BestBuy supplied chat logs of customer service agents promising me my refund, a free day and a whole lot of righteous fury. How could they deny me this? I explain all of this to John, the customer service agent. And what does he say to me?

"Sorry to hear this, it is very disappointing, however I will try to resolve your issue as soon as possible. I would like to inform you that, we do not have an option to honor the price match for the old price for canceled order."

…What? Excuse me? I explain again, "They've all told me differently. I have evidence of your company representatives promising me this refund."

"I’m truly sorry to hear about your experience and I’m sorry you are having to face this issue. Please accept our sincere apology for the inconvenience caused and incorrect information provided by previous agent. As it is canceled order we do not have an option to honor the previous sale price." John tells me, merciless.

But it wasn't just one agent, I argue. I have proof. They all told me the same thing. So, I Karen. I admit it, I tell him, "Let me speak to a supervisor."

"I can surely arrange for a supervisor, but I want to let you know that I've thoroughly investigated all potential solutions in this situation. Believe me, if there were any available options to provide you with refund, I would have already taken care of it. Getting a supervisor wouldn't have been necessary since I've already explored this option on your behalf." John tells me.

And here's the thing, friends, I do believe him. He doesn't seem like a bad guy, even though he's complicit in stealing money from me, but in the words of an anachronistic Anne Boleyn, like what was I supposed to do? What's the worst thing that can happen, John, if I ask to speak to your manager? Explain it to me.

Is it a waste of my time? Four months after the theft occurred, to chase down $430 like some cadaver dog sniffing up and down a river after the frost melted to see if I can pick up on a trail? After four months, will one more conversation, one more long shot, really be the straw that breaks my back?? At worst, what will happen, John? Will I waste more company time? Good. I hope I waste at least $430 of company time. Frankly, I hope I waste more.

A supervisor is reviewing the chat logs now before they get back to me. They're a floor supervisor, but they didn't provide a name. Pray for me, friends.

#best buy #customer service hell #customer experience #i wrote all of this while the supervisor is back reading #i don't think i'm getting a refund guys

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denouemente · 2 months

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this was the worst thing that had ever happened to her. to everyone else onboard that stupid private jet too — jackie knew that. what she didn't understand was how content everyone seemed here. they were stuck, for christ's sake! everyone seemed to be almost content with it, started building a life in the wilderness. HOW WAS SHE THE CRAZY ONE FOR HOPING THEY'D BE RESCUED? HOW WAS SHE THE PARIAH NOW, THE SOCIAL OUTCAST? it wasn't fair. IT WASN'T FAIR.

she didn't tell anyone where she was going — not like they'd care anyway. besides, she'd have gone by herself anyway. jackie can't remember the last time she got to have some peace and quiet, and the perfect place for it was when she was going to bathe. was it really bathing if they didn't have soap? it was kind of gross. then again, she didn't really have any other options.

she discards her clothes at the shore and walks knee - deep before sitting in the water, which feels warmer than last time. she supposes she should count her blessings — it could be colder. jackie sighs, crossing her arms over her chest so her hands can rest against her shoulders. this was the worst thing that ever happened to her. she nearly submerses her head under the water when the sound of gravel being crunched on distracts her, which makes her whip her head. it's shauna. thank god.

“ shit! you scared me, shipman. ” she grins at her best friend, turning to look back out at the expansive lake before her. “ sorry i didn't say anything. everyone seemed kind of occupied. ” they were busy sucking off natalie scatorccio and travis martinez for knowing how to handle a gun — how annoying. “ the water's warmer today, if you wanna come in. i was just gonna wash my hair. or try to. have you noticed you don't really feel clean after? i'm going to love the first hot shower i take when we get back. ”

she waits for shauna to join her, and once she sits beside her in the water, she turns to look at her again. her best friend always had such soft features. her gently sloping nose, her full lips and wide eyes. she perfectly complimented jackie's sharper features, even if she'd probably never admit it out loud. “ okay, well, i'm gonna get it over with. ” she says, moving to lean her head back — but she's shocked to feel shauna pushing the water over her scalp, ensuring that she didn't miss any spots. as she lays her head back, jackie swallows, all of a sudden too aware of where they are, of the fact that they're naked in the suspiciously warm lake. she closes her eyes, inhaling softly as she sits up, instantly pulling her knees to her chest and turning to look at her friend. “ okay, your turn. ” she finally exhales, moving an arm to motion for her to lean back. “ if we're gonna be sleeping next to each other for awhile, we better get all that dirt off you. you know, to make room for new dirt. ”

@96buzz, from shauna : WASH - SENDER HELPS RECEIVER WASH THEIR HAIR.

#96buzz #IC: JACKIE TAYLOR.#ANSWERED.#the first ic thing ive written of her wow..#save me jackieshauna #96BUZZ FT. SHAUNA SHIPMAN.

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manofmanymons · 1 year

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I love how cute the late chapters of the truthful route are

This is more me rambling than any form of serious post or ~anaylsis~ I'm just replaying the route and constantly sobbing over how adorable they all are

They get along so much better with each other and their partners than at the start or in the routes where bitches be dying and it is very much fun seeing them have so many positive interactions

Even their arguing is more productive barring when Takuma FIRST got back but admittedly that was MOSTLY just Kaito ksksmd like there's a lot more "think we should do this because this" "I see what you mean but also consider—" and a lot less "maybe we should—" "FUCK YOU SHUT UP YOU'RE WRONG"

Super love the scene where Ryo and Kaito are talking to Renamon and at first Takuma freaks out thinking they're gonna start a fight but then Shuuji tells him to calm down and just trust them and they end up just being like "hey what you did sucked but we're on the same side so let's work together" and Takuma is like

Like not even just the fact that those two of all people DIDN'T start shit but the fact that Shuuji wholeheartedly trusted them not to is SO insanely different from early game

Also the fact that after everything they've been through they can even still joke around with each other like there are just so many scenes where they're just being happy and silly in spite of it all

Minoru continuing to piss Ryo off by not treating him like he's older is so funny. Like they also clearly get along way better than before especially since Ryo doesn't take Minoru's dumbassery to heart anymore but that one scene where it was LITERALLY like "it's not what you said it's how you said it" had me dead jdjdnd they are such an old divorced couple. Not an old married couple. An old divorced couple.

I LOVE HOW YOU CAN PLAY TAKUMA AS THE WORST BEST FRIEND EVER AND JUST REPEATEDLY THROW MINORU UNDER THE BUS LIKE WTF MAN I THOUGHT YOU WERE RIDE OR DIE

Also love how pretty much all of them have at least one line that's just something along the lines of "we can do anything if we're together" because you KNOW none of them used to feel that way. Putting up with each other bc safety in numbers to actually genuinely trusting each other and being grateful for each other.

SUPER LOVE WHEN YOU'RE TALKING TO SHUUJI AND TRYING TO REASSURE HIM THAT HE'S NOT TOO MUCH OF A PESSIMIST AND IT'S GOOD THAT HE'S THE WAY HE IS AND IF YOU PICK THE WRONG DIALOGUE OPTION HE'LL JUST LIKE??? OPENLY ADMIT THAT HE KNOWS HE'S NOT THE BEST MAN FOR THE JOB AND THAT AOI AND TAKUMA ARE MORE SUITED FOR IT BUT HE APPRECIATES THAT TAKUMA'S TRYING TO BE NICE

This is turning into a "random scenes I love" post but I love when Minoru calls Kaito weird for being happy about Miu bossing him around and Takuma telling him to knock it off because there's probably more to it than that. Also Minoru being like "dude how can you put up with this" and Kaito being like "how long do you think I've been her brother for" ksjskdn like it is so funny to think that Miu has always been a little dictator and Kaito has always just gone along with it

Also all the kemonogami are precious I mean they're precious in every route but I laughed so hard when I purposely picked a wrong dialogue option and Labramon yelled at Takuma for being stupid ToT

Falcomon and Dracmon kill me every time they're on screen. They're the funniest characters in this whole game. Again I mean they're like that in every route but I think the humor lands better in the route where there's not constant death happening.

Also also I'm sorry but them being afraid of the ghost at the school was so funny to me bc they've MET other ghosts at that point and also the other times they've thought there were ghosts it was just like...a digimon. It's like in ghost game when Kiyo is like AAAAAH GHOST and it's like bitch you KNOW it's a digimon.

Also also also Kaito lying about not being worried about Dracmon bc he doesn't wanna freak Miu or Takuma out but then after getting him back being like I WAS SO SCARED SOMETHING HAPPENED TO YOU

Also also ALSO also Ryo and Shuuji being alive so I can see all their battle lines with the other characters. And how even lines between characters change over time. I actually don't know what all the lines are and if the change is related to the chapter or to the route or to their affinity but I know for a fact that the lines aren't always the same and I am always delighted to see a new one.

ALSOx5 CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW ADORABLE THE MINASE SIBLINGS ARE FOR A SECOND? THEY ARE THE SWEETEST EVER.

Anyways these kids are the cutest friend group when their spirits are not actively being crushed by pointless deaths with no clear end in sight and it's just so nice seeing the kinda people they all are when they're not completely miserable and being pushed to/past their breaking points.

Like truthful may not be the most fun or interesting route but goddamn does it make me happy that the canon path is the one where they're actually allowed to grow and learn and be happy

#digimon survive #truthful route spoilers

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airin-lavellan · 1 year

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my brain agonizes me every day about latching onto rezaren and here's the thing. here's the thing I dislike most about how he was written: he was an inconsistent and rushed character. the inconsistency was the worst part and I could go on forever.

he starts as the morally questionable guy right? the show leads you to believe he's grey in morality- willing to fight a spirit for what he believes is right, manipulative but still caring. the first major hint of the backstory/flashbacks we see is rezaren crying. crying asking what miriam has done in the bloody scene. and that hits like a "holy shit there's more to it

then they open up with the brother/sister thing when they finally meet. still incredibly interesting- a villain who platonically loves the mc? who cares about them but in the wrong way and does the wrong things because of it but overarchingly loves them? amazing.

then in episode four, they build it up. the flashbacks point to rezaren having an idealistic idea of their past and miriam being rightfully very angry. we see it from his eyes, them laughing and playing together. then we see what rezaren ignored. he deflects this by saying he was a child and couldn't protect them- a fair point if we infer his mother was abusive towards, which we can infer from the harrowing "no ammosine has failed" part. he could apologize. he does not. miriam brings up the harrowing as her trump card- extremely strange to me in terms of narration because it portrays rezaren in a...not bad light? his mom is the aggressor, he's just shown as younger and weak and helpless. it doesn't match the buildup

there is a very clear snapping point where redemption is no longer an option for him: when he loses his temper at miriam. the switch is jarring, very jarring, at first, but it's okay. it would have been preferred if he was redeemed but it's not necessary, he could still be an amazing pure evil character.

...and then he's not. he goes far too quickly into too much evil- they set him up for a descent to madness and then go from one scene of "i won't use blood magic tassia don't worry" to "watch me publicly kill this guy on my own team".

when his character is really messed up is the finale. when he decides to go super sayan racist mode and be like "i'm going to enslave you bitch kys" but is STILL TRYING TO RESURRECT NEB. perhaps he's delusional but they don't explain that!! if he's angry with miriam now, if he's fully evil now, his character motivation is gone. it cannot be "i want to resurrect my 'brother' and have a happy family again" because if he's going to turn on miriam in this way he should have no reason to keep trying with the circulum.

the show had so many places it could have solidified him as a villain- a true villain like he was supposed to look like at the end. they could have, say, shown him mistreating miriam or slaves. or shown him owning slaves. because we don't have any idea if the slaves in the summer palace are his- and they're probably not because he doesn't even live in that city. the palace is in Nessum, and he explicitly tells Tassia "don't worry queen i can't keep doing evil blood magic study because soon I have to go back to Minrathous".

they could have made him a descent into madness character- which is totally thrown off by the whole "hey don't get too deep into blood magic" "*kills people*" swapup. so now people can basically paint things however they want- because a lot of the "proof" for him being a certain way is inferences. justified, reasonable inferences, but inferences nevertheless and the show is just badly paced. and so we have people differing from "if you like rezaren you're a slaver" to "actually his enslavement was good and miriam is the real villian" and it's just. aagg. they were all good and bad characters!! liking a fictional character does not mean you agree with them. agony agony agony. anyways sorry for my 9 paragraph essay in your ask box but I am Tormented By Thots and your rezaren post reminded me of the queercoded little man who would call me slurs if I ever breathed the same air as him (he has 55 limp wrists and two arms. and it's no coincidence the show censored the only heterosexual kiss him and tassia have to be fruity at least just a bit)

Wow first of all thank you for taking the time to read my post and giving me your insights. I was fully viewing this in terms of what we see in the show but reading this, I must say a lot of aspects of how he was written also came into play. I loved the show and it's characters and I think it's biggest flaw is it's length since a lot of things had to be rushed and couldn't get explored on a deeper level.

He is definitely presented as a rather grey character and I think it's thanks to all of these sudden shifts that the fandom is very divided, since we didn't get to explore more about him and his other motivations or actions in the past we can merely judge him by what we see, and only what we are shown. From the start he did seem a bit manipulative, hiding true intentions behind the so called kindness, yet as the show progressed I couldn't help rooting for him, like you said: the harrowing scene doesn't show him in a bad light. He was completely helpless and in danger himself, the choice to use Neb was his mother's and I do believe she was also abusive to him. Sure not in the same way as Miriam got abused but you can see how fearful he was. When they were kids he was taught that slavery was normal and okay, yet we see an adult that wants to change that, he recognizes his mistakes.

The snapping did feel rushed and out of nowhere, and you're right. I hadn't noticed how conflicted his motivations are during the show. Perhaps it is indeed flawed writing but I think if we can find a logical explanation, it would point to the circulum itself. Tassia openly says that the thing is changing Rezaren, and she has known him for a while. Again, we haven't seen anything else from his past so nothing we can really base ourselves on. He seems to know blood magic and as far as we know he was always in control using it. Why did it change now? I blame the circulum, mixed of course with his desires being frustrated. Miriam was algo blinded by rage, both were equally stubborn and wanted to do something yet they sought a different purpose with different means and I can love and appreciate both. I just indeed dislike the discussion about Rezaren being a slaver, because imo he definitely isn't.

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