Pushing against sky
Waiting for weather to turn
A lifetime passes
-acklum
[image description: a grid of nine photographs of plants and flowers, all against the background of the sky. In the first pictures the flowers are bright and the sky is blue, in the last pictures the sky is grey and the plants are withered, but still beautiful.]
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Ill-Fated Forever
In July of 1819, the English Poet John Keats began to experience the early signs of tuberculosis not long after his engagement to Fanny Brawne. Over the course of the next year-and-a-half, Keats wrote a total of eighteen love longing letters to Miss Brawne until his death on February 23, 1821.
On canvas resembling tea-stained parchment, written in wedding-band gold, are some my favorite excerpts from these letters. Adorned with autumn Flora, these powerful pieces elicit a quiet urgency; a feeling of both the immortality of love and the immediacy of time running out. This series is dedicated to my own beloved, who is the only person with whom I can imagine running into the arms of eternity.
A testament to powerful love in the face of insurmountable adversity, this Flora series is one I've been wanting to complete for some time. Each piece comes with a printout of what is written on the canvas, as well as a brief explanation of the series. These are available by corresponding with me directly and an exchange of ei ghty United States currencies in addition to parcel transport (please forgive my careful wording as I don't want these lovely pieces to get lost in netherspace).
"Newport"
July 3, 1819
Ask yourself my love whether you are not very cruel to have so entrammelled me, so destroyed my freedom. Will you confess this in the Letter you must write immediately, and do all you can to console me in it, make it rich as a draught of poppies to intoxicate me, write the softest words and kiss them that I may at least touch my lips where yours have been. For myself I know not how to express my devotion to so fair a form: I want a brighter word than bright, a fairer word than fair. I almost wish we were butterflies and liv’d but three summer days — three such days with you I could fill with more delight than fifty common years could ever contain.
"With Pleasures"
July 8, 1819
Your Letter gave me more delight, than any thing in the world but yourself could do; indeed I am almost astonished that any absent one should have that luxurious power over my senses which I feel. Even when I am not thinking of you I receive your influence and a tenderer nature steeling upon me. All my thoughts, my unhappiest days and nights have I find not at all cured me of my love of Beauty, but made it so intense that I am miserable that you are not with me: or rather breathe in that dull sort of patience that cannot be called Life. I never knew before, what such a love as you have made me feel, was; I did not believe in it; my Fancy was affraid of it, lest it should burn me up. But if you will fully love me, though there may be some fire, ’twill not be more than we can bear when moistened and bedewed with Pleasures.
"So let me speak of your beauty"
July 8, 1819
I would never see any thing but Pleasure in your eyes, love on your lips, and Happiness in your steps. I would wish to see you among those amusements suitable to your inclinations and spirits; so that our loves might be a delight in the midst of Pleasures agreeable enough, rather than a resource from vexations and cares. But I doubt much, in case of the worst, whether I shall be philosopher enough to follow my own Lessons: if I saw my resolution give you a pain I could not. Why may I not speak of your Beauty, since without that I could never have lov’d you. I cannot conceive any beginning of such love as I have for you but Beauty. There may be a sort of love for which, without the least sneer at it, I have the highest respect and can admire it in others: but it has not the richness, the bloom, the full form, the enchantment of love after my own heart.
"Will you heart never change?"
October 13, 1819
This moment I have set myself to copy some verses out fair. I cannot proceed with any degree of content. I must write you a line or two and see if that will assist in dismissing you from my Mind for ever so short a time. Upon my Soul I can think of nothing else – The time is passed when I had power to advise and warn you again[s]t the unpromising morning of my Life – My love has made me selfish. I cannot exist without you – I am forgetful of every thing but seeing you again – my Life seems to stop there – I see no further. You have absorb’d me. I have a sensation at the present moment as though I was dissolving – I should be exquisitely miserable without the hope of soon seeing you. I should be afraid to separate myself far from you.
"Yours for ever"
October 13, 1819
I have been astonished that Men could die Martyrs for religion – I have shudder’d at it – I shudder no more – I could be martyr’d for my Religion – Love is my religion – I could die for that – I could die for you. My Creed is Love and you are its only tenet – You have ravish’d me away by a Power I cannot resist: and yet I could resist till I saw you; and even since I have seen you I have endeavoured often “to reason against the reasons of my Love.” I can do that no more – the pain would be too great – My Love is selfish – I cannot breathe without you.
"If I should die"
February ?, 1820
Now I have had opportunities of passing nights anxious and awake I have found other
thoughts intrude upon me. “If I should die,” said I to myself, “I have left no immortal work behind me – nothing to make my friends proud of my memory – but I have lov’d the principle of beauty in all things, and if I had had time I would have made myself remember’d.” Thoughts like
these came very feebly whilst I was in health and every pulse beat for you – now you divide with this (may I say it?) “last infirmity of noble minds” all my reflection.
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france is burning.
667 people were arrested last night. they are curfews in place. public transport is partially closed at night.
nahel, a 17-year-old, was shot tuesday by the police during a traffic stop. he wasn't violent or armed, he wasn't a threat. but he broke the law and tried to drive away, so the cops killed him.
and now france is rioting.
there is a video so the government isn't trying to deny the facts for once. but the minister of the interior (in charge of the police) still insist that the police shot less people since the 2017 law on public safety.
but an analysis of police statistics by Le Monde, the most read newspaper in france, says otherwise. when the police shot on average 250 people each year in the five years prior to 2017, that number became 297 after 2017. for shots fired specifically on moving vehicles, the average used to be 119 and it's now 150. before 2017, there was an average of 0.06 deaths per shot. now it's 0.32.
more than ever, the police shoots to kill.
so france is burning.
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Flying pigs, pastries and doodlebugs
One pig leads to another it seems. On my email newsletter I shared a flying pig and what inspired it. The finished painting was called “The Plot”.
The Plot by Clancy
That in turn inspired another pig with wings to appear in my sketchbook.
Which then became a painting titled “Higgledy-Piggledy” which I also shared in my email newsletter along with other things not mentioned here because I’m…
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