#woeful wip wednesday | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

creamypudding · 2 years

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Woeful WIP Wednesday

Oh boy, this fic... I have a torrid relationship with it. A long time ago I wrote a story called BFF which some of you might be familiar with. It’s for another ship. And then I really wanted to try the same kind of ‘needy desperation for a fuck’ dynamic with Zakkura. But Cloud being Cloud made this story turn into... what it is.

I started it in April 2018 and it is actually finished but I have never been able to bring myself to post it. Until today. And even now I’m deeply self-conscious about showing this story to anyone. I don’t know what it is that makes me recoil from this story. It’s good. Like... the smut is good. It’s got heart. It’s also a bit different to how I write nowadays. Maybe? There are a fair few things in this story that I should probably rewrite but I have no energy or will to do that.

I don’t know. I really struggled with this story. I’m still mentally struggling with it even existing. Maybe it’s because this story is set in a canon-divergent universe? Fuck canon, honestly. Fuck writing stories that have to fit the boundaries of someone else’s universe.

Meh.

Realistically, I’ll probably never post this outside of Tumblr, so I hope you enjoy and if you do enjoy it, or any of the other WIP’s it would be great if you would let me know. Cheers.

Rated E Word count - 15,940 Tags: Oneshot. PWP, sex toys, marathon fucking, not politically correct or sensitive (unlike Cloud’s dick and ass)

Mission: Chicken Soup

Boots thudded heavily against flimsy metal as he ascended the staircase in search of his little Chocobo infantryman. The SOLDIER 1st class hadn't seen hide nor spiky hair of his friend in a month, which pronounced the longing in his chest. He loved his job—when it didn't involve paperwork—but the long and unpredictable stints out in the wider world made him miss Midgar. Though more specifically; Cloud Strife. He missed his friends' quiet presence, the soft smiles, and the good-natured laughs, which served as reason enough for Zack to be out here at present: the Stacks; a refurbished tower of shipping crates stacked on top of each other which served as a Shinra initiative to get some willing participants to offer themselves up for ’science’, though everyone knew it was just a way for mad old Hojo to get around the ethics department.

What Cloud was doing there baffled him completely.

He had arrived back in Midgar this morning, had done the minimum debriefing he could get away with and then had been in search for his friend—best friend—if he was to be honest with himself. He had checked that barracks but had found Cloud's bunk empty, which had sent Zack into a spiraling panic for all of five seconds before he had whipped out his phone and tried to call him. And then message. And then email. Zack had given up and gone to find some other cadets to get answers from. He had spent the afternoon asking around for Cloud and had received the same response, “Dunno.” Zack had sighed and wished that Cloud had more friends who knew what was going on with him, but since all the wishing in the world wouldn't bring that about, and his phone remained woefully silent, he had eventually gone to Cloud’s squadron leader in the hopes of getting some actual answers as to his whereabouts.

The news had been that Cloud had transferred out of the barracks and into the Stacks about a month ago and was currently sick, which surprised and worried Zack since the young man had never let a few sniffles keep him down before, so it had to be serious. That, coupled with the move to the Stacks to be a lab rat, had Zack grow doubly worried. So that's why, by evening fall, he was stomping up the flimsy metal staircase.

He reached the 5th level and walked to the second door set into the shipping container where cloud apparently lived now. He knocked. He waited. He knocked again. "It's me, Zack. I got back this morning. Been looking for you all day. I spoke to your squadron leader."

Silence greeted him. He pressed his ear to the door, trying to listen for any sound of life—or suffering. Zack wasn’t beyond kicking down the door. He heard some faint sounds; shuffling, a grumble. He leaned back from the door. “I know you’re in there. SOLDIER hearing, remember?”

Still nothing.

Zack groaned a little. “Are you alright, Cloud? I tried calling you. What're you doing here in the Stacks, bud? We always laughed at people who signed up for this shit… and now you're sick?" He tapped at the metal door with his fingertips and picked at some of the paint chips. "You never get sick. Cloud. Are you okay? Let me in? Please? I've missed you," he said far quieter and pressed his ear to the door again.

More silence stretched out.

“I’m gonna kick the door down if you don’t tell me you’re okay. I’m worried.”

“I’m okay,” Cloud finally responded.

“Can you let me in?”

“Go away.”

Zack grimaced. "If you're not gonna let me in at least let me take care of you. I got you some chicken soup… at least I think it's chicken. Not sure what passes for chicken at the cafeteria lately.” Zack glanced at the container he was holding and heard some shuffling inside the room.

“Just leave it at the door. I'll grab it later.” Cloud's voice sounded a lot closer now.

Zack frowned. “Okay, I'll leave it at the door. Let me know when you feel better, alright? I've got a souvenir for you from Wutai.” Zack put the small canister down and walked away, thumping his heavy boots along the narrow gangway and away from Cloud’s door but then backtracked quietly and leaned against the wall next to the door. He waited for a while, looking out across the cityscape of Midgar. The Stacks provided a pretty nice view. Maybe that was the reason Cloud chose to move here? He did always say he liked the open skies of back home in Nibelheim. He knew Cloud got homesick sometimes. Coming back to Midgar after prolonged field missions always gave Zack the same sort of heartache, so he tried to bask in the view now. But it wasn’t the same; could never be the same.

Zack couldn't comprehend Cloud’s choice of living arrangements. He furrowed his brow and wrinkled his nose. What was Cloud doing? He breathed in deeply the cool but nonetheless stuffy night air. Midgar had a smell about it which Zack had never smelt anywhere else. Not even in the sewers or reactors. It wasn't pleasant. It wasn't unpleasant. It just smelled like being back in the city. Zack picked at the dirt under his nails, deciding that a bath was in order after being on the road for so long. He looked forward to getting out of his SOLDIER uniform and putting on some slacks and a t-shirt, even if his rest only lasted a day until the next unscheduled mission was ordered. He really hoped he wouldn't be sent away for at least a week. Especially with Cloud under the weather.

There came the sound of a lock sliding open and the creak of rusty hinges turning, which snapped Zack out of his thoughts. The door opened and Zack turned, wedging his foot into the jam before Cloud could pull it shut again.

“Go away, Zack,” Cloud grumbled plaintively.

“No, let me look at you.” Zack pushed against the heavy metal door and Cloud's body on the other side. It wasn't too difficult for him to pry it open enough for him to squeeze through.

“What’re you—? Get out! Please,” Cloud finished in a whine as Zack entered and pushed the door shut behind himself.

“It's alright. You won't infect me. Now, let me look at you.” Zack stood at Cloud's side but Cloud kept turning away and batting at Zack's hands.

“C’mon.” He pulled at Cloud’s shoulder forcing the smaller man to face him, but his eyes were squeezed shut and his head sunken down.

Zack still noticed Cloud's pale skin looking even paler. His forehead was damp, his hair drooped and Cloud definitely looked like he was running a fever; rosy cheeks and dark circles under his eyes. “Wow, you look like shit.” Zack pressed the palm of his hand against Cloud’s temple and brushed limp hair out of the other man’s face.

“Please leave,” Cloud growled as he wrapped his arms around himself and crouched down to the floor of his tiny shoebox of a home.

Zack looked around. There were only two rooms. The bathroom and the main one which they were standing in. It housed a small two-seater couch, a tiny TV which sat atop a short bookshelf, and Cloud's bed right next to it. Zack had always known Cloud to be tidy but this place was a complete mess; sheets, blankets, and pillows were tossed all over the floor, the couch cushions looked to have been moved and replaced haphazardly, and the few books and magazines that should have been on the bookshelf lay scattered and thrown.

The state of the place worried Zack even further. He reached down; it was meant as a comforting pat on the shoulder but Cloud jerked as Zack made contact, shirking out of the touch and snapping harshly with his words, “I told you to leave!”

“What's wrong?”

“I just need to be left alone,” Cloud whined, still avoiding all eye contact with Zack.

Zack’s hands went to his hips and he stared down, a doleful frown settling on his face. “Is that why you moved in here? To get away from people? Are those two dickheads still giving you a rough time?” He crouched down beside Cloud, but Cloud shuffled around so his back faced Zack.

“It’s better here.” “Even with the catch twenty-twos?”

“I know what I got myself into. I don’t need you telling me what a big mistake I’ve made.”

“You think you’ve made a big mistake?” Zack asked, alarmed.

“No,” Cloud said softly and hunched in on himself further. “Everyone else likes to tell me though.”

Zack humphed. “You’re allowed to live your life like you want to. I’m sure everyone’s just worried about you. I’m worried about you.” Zack stood up, needing to shake off the restless discomfort agitating his limbs, especially with Cloud acting this way with him. He began shuffling around the small living space, picking up the strewn around linen and pillows and placing everything back on the bed.

“I’m fine, really. Thanks for coming to check on me,” Cloud muttered, softer than before.

Zack looked over at Cloud; his head still bowed and his eyes squeezed shut. “I wish I could come and check on you more often. My schedule’s been really crazy lately.” Zack picked up the random books that lay scattered around the place and continued to tidy up.

“Did you get put on any cool missions?” Cloud’s head tilted up, looking eagerly in Zack’s general direction before his gaze dropped to the floor.

A glimpse of Cloud’s enthusiasm settled some of the nervous anxiety inside of Zack. “I don’t know about cool but it sure kept me on my toes. Lots of running around, chasing up loose ends here and there.” Zack kept moving around the space, picking up things, setting them down in their assumed proper place while Cloud continued to sit on the floor following Zack’s feet with his eyes. “I went to Wutai. Got you a nice windchime. It’s all blue and has a dragon on it. You always talk about the tinkle of the cows in the meadows… I know a wind chime won’t come close but… well, I thought you might like it?”

“Thank you, Zack. That’s very nice of you,” Cloud muttered the words.

Zack looked at his friend pull his knees up tight and curl into a tight ball. It made Zack’s frown deepen and an ache welled up in his chest. “Do you wanna come over and get it? Get you out of here? Stretch your legs? Fresh air—well, as fresh as it can get in Midgar—might do you some good.”

Cloud sighed and turned away once again, having his back face Zack.

“If you don’t tell me what’s wrong I can’t help you. Have you been to the infirmary?”

“I have to go to the labs for all problems. I can’t go to the infirmary. Part of the deal of living here.” Zack grumbled, letting his annoyance be heard by the other man.

He picked up a pile of rumpled clothes and as he collected them in his arms he felt something hard in the bundle. He looked at the heap in his arms, jostled his limbs a little and witnessed something black fall out and roll onto the floor. Zack’s eyes went wide with surprise. “Well, well, well, I didn't know you had some adventure in you. A butt plug? It's pretty big too.” He grinned. Maybe CLoud wasn’t really so sick? Just embarrassed?

Cloud cried out in mortification and sprang to his feet, scooping up the toy and his head swiveling around his room.

Zack watched as Cloud darted around, picking up things Zack hadn't even noticed until now. Were those… “Dildos too?” Zack gave a low whistle. “Never thought of you like that, Cloud. I'm impressed. Is that the Titan? I hear it's got a crazy vibration setting.”

“Please just leave,” Cloud cried out with desperation while pulling out a box from under his bed. He dumped everything into it, shoving it back under with his foot and sat down heavily on his bed, arms on his knees and his head buried in his hands. “Please go away.” He sounded strained and frail.

The amusement and teasing spirit left Zack. The now-feeling-almost-perpetual frown on his face returned. “Can you tell me what’s wrong? Is it shit from Hojo’s experimental lab?”

“Of course it is.” Frustration hitched Cloud’s voice.

“You shouldn't be doing this. Who knows what crap they’re putting into your body. Is privacy really worth the risk? Not even they know what effects their meds have, that's why it's experimental.”

“It’s worth it when I can have my own space and bunk and peace and quiet, which isn't what you’re giving me right now.” Cloud finally snapped his eyes onto Zack’s, but a sheer look of horror flashed over Cloud and he grimaced as if in pain. He buried his head in his hands again and began rocking.

“Shit,” Zack muttered under his breath. “If you can’t go to the infirmary have you at least been back to the lab? Have you told them how sick you are? I spoke to your Squadron leader. You've missed days of patrols and training. That’s so not like you.”

“I don’t need a lecture from you,” Cloud snarled.

Taken aback, Zack checked himself. “Yeah, sorry, bud. You know I just worry about you,” he said softly and sat down on the bed next to Cloud, rubbing his back.

Cloud threw himself to the side, like Zack’s touch was searing pain, but he twisted and screamed in Zack's direction, “Don’t touch me!” with his eyes clenched shut. His shaking hands went back to his head, cradling himself.

Zack’s heart thundered in his chest and he stared wordlessly, in shock over this harrowing situation. He’d never seen Cloud like this. His heart ached for his best friend. “I’m sorry,” he said so quietly he barely heard it himself.

Cloud let out a great big huff and his shoulders sagged a little. “I’m sorry, Zack. I’m really sorry. I’m not at my best. I wish you’d just go so you didn’t see me like this.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll go. I should have respected your wishes from the start. I’m sorry.” Zack went to reach out for Cloud, but he stopped, his hand hovering.

“Please don’t,” came the hasty and tight response from Cloud.

Zack withdrew his hand. “I won’t touch you. I’ll go.” He made to get up—

“Please don't go!” Cloud pleaded, his eyes still shut tight, but turned toward Zack, his hand on Zack’s knee, staling all further motion from him. “I’m sorry. I don’t… don’t want you to go.”

Zack looked at the hot hand on his knee. He could feel the tremble going through Cloud’s body. He put his hand on top of Cloud’s. Cloud yanked his hand away.

“Sorry,” Zack muttered. “Can you tell me what’s been going on?”

“I went in for some testing five days ago—they gave me pills to swallow and a log book to take notes in if anything happened. I’ve been here for four weeks. Each week it’s something—pills, injections, patches, sprays—it was all fine. I haven’t had any symptoms but now… these pills… they said they’re just vitamin pills but…” Cloud shook his head, crossed his legs and rocked, groaning a little and rocking harder.

Zack watched on and listened to Cloud struggling with something internal. His heart beat a little firmer and regrettably a pulse of desire throbbed down into his shaft. He couldn't be thinking about this right now. Not when Cloud was miserable. He shouldn’t be thinking about how dirty Cloud’s groaning sounded, not ever, but especially not right now. He shouldn’t be hyper-aware of the sex toys under the bed and thinking about Cloud using them. ‘Shit,’ he thought.

“I told the lab assistance about my symptoms. They said it should clear in the next three days but,” Cloud hunched in on himself deeper, almost doubling over. He kept rocking and moaning quietly.

‘Shiiiiiiit!’ Zack took a deep breath and cleared his head, deciding to think about this as a mission. “Can I do anything to make it better? Where's it hurt?—Cloud, look at me. Where's it hurt?” He got up and knelt before Cloud, looking up at him.

Cloud uncurled himself and he stopped his rocking. His eyes slowly opened but seeing Zack before him made him squeeze them shut again. “I can't look at you… it… hurts too much.”

“Is it your eyes?”

Cloud shook his head.

“Your head? Is it an all over sensation or localized?” Zack looked all over Cloud’s body, trying to see something physically wrong with him, but all he saw was clammy pale skin, flushed cheeks, wild and messy hair and the gray t-shirt with darker gray sweat patches under the arms and around the neckline, and the sweatpants Cloud wore.

Cloud shook his head again. “Please just leave me alone, Zack. It’s nothing you can help me with.” He winced as if a new wave of pain smashed into him.

“You want me to stay, but you also want me to go. What should I do, Cloud? What do you need me to do? Please, I want to help you. There must be something I can do.” “Zack—” “Please, Cloud.”

“There's nothing you can do.”

“At least help me to understand what’s going on; how you're feeling.” It took everything in Zack’s power to not touch Cloud; not hold his hand; not place his hand on Cloud’s knee; not cup his face and brush the hair from his eyes.

Cloud sighed, heavy and low. “If… if I tell you will you leave me alone for a while?”

Reluctantly, he said, “Yes. If that’s your wish, then yes.”

Cloud grumbled and frowned in that way he did when he was weighing up his options. Cloud suddenly stood up. Startled, Zack fell back on his ass. He threw his hands out behind himself for support. He stared at Cloud’s crotch and gulped, a heat springing alight in the pit of his stomach. Even though Cloud wore loose gray slacks, this close, with Cloud’s hips thrust forward and the fabric stretched just a tiny bit, Zack could see the hard bulge.

“I’ve had this for four days now,” Cloud cringed, holding his head woefully and still pushing his hips toward Zack. “I don't think it's anyone else but me. It just won't go away. I've tried everything.” Cloud stepped back and sat back down, whining in a high pitch as he did so and holding his head in his hands again, while his elbows were on his knees. “I ordered all those toys and got them express posted but nothing's working.”

‘Shit, shit, shit!’ Zack swallowed the dry lump in his throat. His heart-rate kept spiking uncomfortably. “What’s the problem exactly? I mean… having an erection for so long can’t be good for you, sure, but… can’t you just… you know.” Sweat prickled his brow from this conversation.

“I can't cum. I want to, but I can't. I'm so damn…” Cloud winced. “It hurts. I want to—everyone in sight.” He squeezed his eyes shut even tighter.

“Oh.” Realization dawned. “Is that why you don't want to look at me?”

Cloud nodded woefully. “You're my best friend. You shouldn't see me like this.”

But he already did. ‘Shit.’ Zack, still sitting on the floor, leaned forward, pulling his knees up and resting his arms on them. “Cloud, look at me. Look at me.”

Cloud shook his head. “I can't. If I do, I'll jump you and hump you and… I can’t have you see me like that. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. You can jump me and hump me all you want, just please, look at me,” he tried again, gentle and reassuring. His body buzzed with anticipation and shock over Cloud’s situation. He wanted to help. He wanted to help even more now because a desire sat inside himself.

“You don’t understand! I’d molest you. I’d… rape you. It’s getting worse. I have no control left over this. IF I look at you… that’s it.” Cloud raised his head a little and cautiously trailed his eyes over Zack’s feet and legs, but stopped his gaze somewhere around Zack’s arms on his knees. “I don't want this to ruin our friendship. You're important to me.”

“You’re important to me too, Cloud.” The young cadet had always been special to him. Zack felt protective over him and overwhelmingly proud of all of Cloud’s achievements and ways of handling himself. Even this reckless move to the Stacks screamed like a Cloud thing to do. If he saw something he went and got it, no matter how difficult. There was something completely compelling and alluring in his stubbornness and determination. It was something Zack greatly admired and found attractive in the younger man. And Cloud wasn't a bad looker, not at all. They had sparred together enough times for Zack to have a healthy appreciation for Cloud’s physique. Though over the last few months it might have been getting a bit unhealthy. “You can’t rape me if I’m a willing participant.”

Cloud furrowed his brow. “But I’m a guy. You’re a guy.”

“So?” “So? You’re Zack Fair. Ladies man extraordinaire.”

“I’ve slept with guys in the past. If it’s not a problem for you then it’s not a problem for me.”

“Y-you have?” Cloud fought with himself to keep his eyes off Zack’s face. He kept frowning and shutting his eyes tight every time they drifted too far.

“Yeah. Not a lot. I don’t… I don’t sleep around with anyone who looks nice or is a fun conversation. I don’t know what those fan club messages have been hinting at lately,” he shook his head. “You’re my friend though, Cloud. Remember how I told you I’d always have your back?” Cloud nodded after a moment. “Well, I mean it. Even with something like this. Us backwater boys gotta stick together.” He carefully reached out and slid his hand on Cloud’s knee.

Cloud tensed under Zack’s touch but he didn’t jerk away this time. He gave a sad sounding huff. “You would seriously let me… with you?” Cloud focused on Zack’s hand on himself. He pulled one arm off where he was hugging his midsection and lay his hand atop of Zack’s, his fingers curling and then relaxing.

Zack chuckled, a little nervous. This was a bit awkward. They had never talked about sex. It wasn’t even a thought Zack had let himself entertain about Cloud… not till recently…. He wet his lips, feeling parched. “Yeah. If you needed me to. That's what friends are for, right? If I can help you then I want to. Even if it’s having sex with you. So c’mon, Cloud. What's sex between friends when one of them has a medically raging boner and an inability to cum? I've had blue balls before. I can't imagine how much it must suck to be you right now.”

Cloud lifted his head and looked at Zack with wide blue eyes. Zack smiled back gently and then toppled over backward as Cloud launched himself on him and ground his pelvis against Zack's.

“Woah there,” he laughed. “So I guess we’re doing this?”

Cloud nodded frantically, still grinding and looking like he was satisfying a very painful itch.

Zack let himself get caught up in Cloud’s frotting for a couple of seconds. Tension and need tightened his muscles and sped up his thumping heart. A deep tingle buzzed through his innards and woke him into an aroused state. He wanted to kiss Cloud, roll them over, bite his neck, touch him under clothes—all the millions of forbidden scenarios that had danced around his head during his times spent training and sparring with Cloud—rifled through his head. He tried to clear his thoughts, to be methodical about this, to not get caught up in desperate feelings which weren’t welcomed or needed here right now. “Tell me what you wanna do. Tell me what you’ve tried. Maybe we can figure out a way to get you off.”

Cloud's motion didn't abate as he ground his hot bulge against Zack’s hardening shaft and lower abdomen. Cloud also didn’t look at Zack, focusing on his shoulder as his cheeks grew even hotter. “I've tried dildos and plugs. I tried my hands, I even bought a… a thing to stick myself into.”

“A fleshlight?”

“Yeah.” Cloud nodded and kept grinding, his breath huffing with the strain from his movement.

Zack took a moment to swallow. Cloud’s stiff and hot bulging erection rubbed him in a very satisfying way. He cleared his head and asked, “Anything else?”

“I, ah—” Cloud stilled for a second and then rolled his hips again, but he kept quiet and didn’t look at Zack at all.

“Go on, you can tell me.”

He bit his lip and took a deeper-than-the-rest breath. “I phoned up an escort service but… but I chickened out when… they got here. I paid the money and told them to go away.”

“Woah. Them? You got more than one?”

“N-no. Just the one. It… it was a he.” Cloud pressed his forehead against Zack’s shoulder, no longer being able to look him in the eyes.

“Are you… gay?” Zack had never thought of Cloud’s sexual preference. He assumed it to be heterosexual, he supposed. He supposed the wanting-to-have-sex-with-him thing was just because Zack was currently here in the room and available. A jolt of arousal went through him when he thought of Cloud wanting him and not just any random gender to fuck because of his desperation.

“Please… can we not.”

“Oh, okay. Why’d you send him packing then? Can I ask that at least?”

Cloud kept rutting, humping, frotting against Zack. He pushed his face deeper against Zack's shoulder as he muffled, “I… I just couldn't—didn't want my first time to be with a hooker. Not even for this.”

Zack tensed. “You’re… you've never—” The words wouldn't come.

Cloud shook his head and kept rutting.

“But the toys I saw.” Zack's head reeled a little. Cloud not having been with anyone but having that stash…

“Using toys is easy. I don't want to get into it.”

“Okay, okay.” Cloud’s first time… it was rolling around Zack's skull. He didn't think he had ever been anyone's first. He had always found willing and experienced partners in the past. This was a big responsibility and Zack felt nervous. He didn't want to let Cloud down, not when he needed some relief so badly, and especially not if this was the first experience Cloud ever had with someone else. “Um, did any of the toys you used feel nicer than the others?”

“No, it’s all the same.”

Heat and friction built between them. Zack felt himself completely hard. Having Cloud against him like this was a wet dream come true. He just wished… not like this. He wished circumstances had been different. “Is grinding against me helping?” he asked.

“A little.”

“Okay, well, keep doing that then, but maybe we should get naked and get some lube happening.” Maybe it was the matter-of-factness Zack spoke with, or simply just talking about sex made it less awkward. Either way, Cloud lifted his head and gave him a hesitant look.

“I've got that. I bought all kinds. Warming, spiced, normal, silicone based, water, oil.” Cloud slipped off Zack with a displeased groan and turned around to dig around under his bed. He pulled out the box he had hidden, picked it up and nonchalantly dumped the contents on his bed, a stark contrast to the embarrassed and frantic fumbling he had done before.

Zack rose to his feet and stepped up to the bed, looking down at it and whistled at the large collection spread out before him. “You must have spent most of your pay on this stuff. Some of this stuff’s not cheap. Ifrit's Inferno?” he picked up the red tube laced with five spices to make you hot and sweaty.

Cloud remained mute. Zack dropped the tube and turned toward Cloud, putting his hand on the other man's shoulder. Cloud winced.

"You still good to do this?" Zack asked, looking Cloud once over.

Cloud nodded. "If you are."

"I am." Zack got to work undoing his belts.

Cloud’s hands shook and fumbled with his pants as he undid the string keeping his slacks on. “You knew the Titan by sight. You have a few of these?” Cloud still wasn’t looking at Zack but the attempt at conversation dispelled some worries in Zack

“Yeah. But Sephiroth is the guy you’d want. He's a walking encyclopedia on this stuff.” Zack nodded at the things on the bed.

Cloud’s head snapped up to stare at Zack. Wide blue eyes gawked in adoration—it was a look Zack regrettably never got to have directed at himself.

“He does?” Cloud huffed out.

Something bothersome and ugly fluttered in Zack’s chest. He ignored it. “He does, but c’mon, let's see if we can fix this problem of yours.”

Cloud winced as he was reminded of his predicament. With a deep inhale of breath and whilst casting his eyes just off Zack's shoulder, he dropped his slacks.

Zack stared at Cloud’s girth and length. He definitely hadn't expected it—not that he had ever thought of Cloud's junk in any great depth… maybe just a fleeting thought here and there during intense sparring matches. He shook himself out of his reverie and dropped his own pants. He tried not to think about how hard he was from Cloud's grinding, and how the sight of the half-naked man before him sent harder throbs through his shaft. He stepped close to Cloud, the man’s red and swollen erection almost touching Zack's thigh. “So, what do you want to try first?”

Cloud swallowed, his head held up, full of pride and silent determination as he squarely looked Zack in the eyes. Zack had seen that look before when they had fought off enemies Cloud thought way too big to handle. It was flattering, but Zack didn't want to be intimidating. “It's okay, Cloud. We can do whatever you need to do. I'm here for you.”

Cloud gave a stern nod, picked up a bottle of lubricant, handing it to Zack and then turned around and bent over.

Now Zack gulped. Cloud's ass was a masterpiece of youth and hard work. Beautiful and pale, lean and toned. “Alright,” he barely got out in a steady tone. Zack uncapped the lubricant and squirted it into his hands.

“Don't bother stretching. I—don't need it.”

Zack imagined Cloud trying to get off for days on end, ramming the Titan into himself. He moaned a little. Cloud was so plucky, it bordered on sexy—scratch that—Cloud was sexy. Considering they were about to do this Zack felt it okay to acknowledge the thought he had been trying to hold at bay for the sake of their friendship. He stretched his arm out and touched. A shiver and deep desire ran through him. He ran his hand down Cloud's flank and felt and saw the shudder go through the other man. He kept traveling over Cloud's smooth, soft, hot skin, cupping his ass cheek and a longing to bite Cloud's ass—because it looked so delicious—rose inside him.

While he kept fondling Cloud's ass he reached for himself with his lubricated hand; spreading the substance and letting out a restrained sigh with how good it felt. Zack was too familiar with his hands. He knew the feel of every callous and patch of rough skin on his palms. Beating off was more a chore than a real pleasure these last few years. The thought of being with someone—being with Cloud—Zack hoped he wasn't about to embarrass himself and the renowned SOLDIER stamina. “It's okay if I just go for it?" A needy grunt left Cloud and he nudged his hips backward.

Zack put more lubricant on his hand, spread Cloud’s firm cheeks apart and pressed his finger against Cloud's puckering. He pushed and watched himself disappear inside of Cloud's heated entrance. He had never thought in a million years they this would happen; that Cloud would ask him to have sex. Zack shook his head. He was here to help his best friend. Nothing more. He pushed his one finger, two fingers, three, and even four inside to find little resistance. Cloud had indeed stretched himself out and seemed relaxed enough, even though he seemed tense as well in his shoulders as he leaned his upper body on the low bed.

Zack’s heart went out to his friend at that moment. He withdrew his fingers but also nudged the tip of his penis closer to Cloud. When was the last time he had done this? Life had been too busy. He shook his head clear and pushed forward with ease into tight heat. He moaned and simultaneously a satisfied groan burbled up out of Cloud; a sound Zack had never heard before; deep, pleasurable, and a touch feral. Zack kept pushing in, letting heat and tightness engulf him all the way to the hilt. Somewhere he registered Cloud’s vocal groan; a mix of satisfaction and need. Words were attached too, which Zack couldn't make out at first, but which became sharp and clear after the third time—“Move!” Cloud barked, sending a threatening glare over his shoulder toward Zack.

“Yes, Sir.” Zack almost saluted but instead gripped Cloud’s hips and pulled himself off and then pushed back in. Zack threw his head back, moaned louder and smiled up at the ceiling in delight as he rocked into Cloud at a steady pace.

An indistinct sound came from Cloud.

“You alright?” It was probably a dumb question but—

“Of course not. Harder,” Cloud ordered with frustration and pushed back against him for emphasis.

Zack chuckled, not used to Cloud being so domineering and pushy. The shift in his friend’s usually quiet demeanor was gratifying so he did as he was ordered; slamming into Cloud with vigor. His hands gripped Cloud tightly and his pleasure was immense.

“Harder!” Cloud snarled and slammed himself against Zack as Zack canted his hips forward again to deeply penetrate his friend.

“I don't want to hurt you.” If he really let himself go Zack wasn't sure how Cloud would fair.

“Just… please,” came the grumbling plea through grit teeth.

A grimace fell across Zack's face. “Okay, but promise to tell me if I'm hurting you.”

Blond mop nodded vigorously and with that Zack did as he was asked. He thrust into Cloud's tense heat at full tilt. The bed creaked and slammed against the wall, breaking some of the thin plasterboard that lined the inside of the metal box Cloud called his lodgings.

The sound of skin slapping on skin sounded and their mingling moans echoed around the space. For how long Zack kept it up he couldn't say. Cloud stayed braced against the bed but at some point his right arm disappeared under himself, probably to tend to his erection. Sharp rasping breaths filled the air and groans from both of them bounced off the walls.

The intensity and strain of pumping into Cloud took its toll on Zack and he became overwhelmed by the tightness in his shaft and the tingle in his sac. A tremble ran through his limbs, and the tight coil in his gut snapped, causing him to shoot his load into Cloud with a deep moan.

A few sharp exhales, a slowing of his thrusts and Zack muttered his almost breathless apologies, “I'm sorry. So sorry. Sorry, Cloud.” He slid out, already missing the heat and intensity and slumped down on the bed next to Cloud, who sank to his knees on the floor and buried his face in his mattress.

Zack tried to steady his breath, but it hitched every time a post-orgasm shudder pulsed through him. His vision of the ceiling danced around but eventually steadied and he heard a small whimper, making Zack look over. “You okay, buddy?” He placed his hand on Cloud’s shoulder. He felt the jerky movement as Cloud pulled away, sitting on the floor with knees tucked under his chin.

“Nothing works. Fuck.” Cloud pulled at his hair in aggravation and frustration. “I thought for sure being with someone would work but….” He groaned.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Zack, with a groan, sat up. “Don't give up yet. There are still a lot of different positions and things to try. We'll just go again until we figure this out.”

“Again? You seriously want to go again?” Blue, red-rimmed eyes looked up at Zack for a split second before darting away again.

“Yeah. I can't leave you hanging. And,” he gave a tight chuckle, “SOLDIER stamina lets me recover a lot faster so… we can keep doing this until we find a fix for you.”

“Thanks,” Cloud mumbled, not sounding very sincere. “You sure you can go again? Aren't you sensitive?”

The abashed side-glance made Zack's heart flutter. Cloud was just the sweetest guy Zack had ever met. “You don't have to worry about me. Few minutes and I'll be good as new.”

“No you don't—you shouldn't even be having to do this now. Just go. I'll be fine.”

“We're friends. I can't just leave you in the lurch.”

“I don't think this is what you ever had in mind when we became friends,” Cloud grumbled into his knees.

“Maybe, but… well, it's not the worst job in the world,” he laughed gently and smiled down at Cloud, who had ventured another look up at him. Cheeks were stained red and an abashed Cloud was enough to invigorate Zack in that very moment. He leaned down and ran his fingers through Cloud’s damp blond hair. He smiled down at his friend, a warmth in the pit of his stomach which had nothing to do with arousal. “C’mon. Let's try again. Were you getting close? Did I angle myself right? Was I hitting your prostate?”

Cloud groaned and buried his head. “This is so embarrassing.”

“Don't think about it like anything other than a mission. This is the briefing where we figure out the target and how to achieve our goal. The actual act is the mission and afterward we do a review of whether it was successful or not. Though I guess I'll know when we've succeeded, huh,” he giggled.

“Mission briefing, huh?” Cloud seemed to snap out of his eternal mortification and side-eyed Zack.

He grinned and nodded at Cloud, happy that the other man appeared to like the analogy Zack had thought up. “Nothing to be embarrassed about. Now let me hear it.”

Hesitation let seconds tick by before Cloud said, “It… was good. Better than… what I was doing before. You,” Cloud took a deep breath, “slamming into me… it's a nice distraction from… well, having blue balls of death.”

“I bet. I saw you pumping yourself. Did that feel nice?”

Cloud nodded, burying his head in his hands.

“Nothing to be embarrassed about,” he repeated. “Do you want me to try…” the thought of what he was about to say made Zack's heart race and his throat feel parched, “sucking you off?”

Cloud was quiet for a long minute but then he gave the tiniest, “Yes,” and head nod.

Zack swallowed. He was kidding himself if he chose to ignore how much this was actually turning him on. “Okay. Sit up here and open your legs.” Zack slid off the small bed as Cloud got up and sat down.

He scooted toward Cloud, placed his hands on his knees and gently coaxed Cloud’s legs apart and moved in close. Cloud’s erection looked formidable. Hard, thick, throbbing. It actually looked angry and sore, swollen with blood and unspent desire.

That same need was also painted on Cloud's face, clear as day. His jaw clenched and teeth ground. Hips jerked upward minutely with restraint. Zack grasped at those hips, holding the smaller man down as he got in position, mouth poised open just inches from the cause of Cloud's discomfort.

“You ready for this?” He looked up at Cloud who gave a shaky exhale and looked down at Zack for the briefest moment.

Zack took that as an 'okay’ and slid his mouth over Cloud’s head, first making contact with his tongue, teeth and then the roof of his mouth. It was so hot; physically so hot in his mouth, on his tongue.

Cloud hissed and bucked but Zack held him down. He sucked for a few tentative moments on the dry as a bone head. Zack wondered what the pills had done to Cloud if they prevented him from even having pre-cum pooling out. Maybe there was a blockage? Maybe if Zack sucked really hard…. He began doing that. It was as good a plan as any. He sucked and rubbed his tongue. He took Cloud’s thickness down further into his mouth, working on getting the man down his throat.

Cloud moaned and bucked. He bucked fiercely, letting Zack know that it must feel good and that he needed more of this, so Zack gave him more. He vigorously bobbed his head and did that until his jaw became sore with being locked in place but he didn't want to stop. He wanted to relieve Cloud's pain, take away the pressure, make his best friend okay again.

He kept going until Cloud ordered him to stop because Zack chose to ignore the tentative pleas and suggestions that Cloud had been making to him until this point.

He opened and closed his mouth, working the tightness out of his jaw after he pulled off Cloud. He sat down and leaned back on his hands, looking up at his needy friend who stood before him now. “Why're you telling me to stop? Isn't it making you feel better?”

Cloud looked down at him, some of the tension and pain disappearing from his face. “It's helping but it's not a fix. You could do that to me for hours and it wouldn't get me anywhere,” Cloud said, a darkness in his eyes.

“Well, if we can't find a solution I'll just call in sick and suck on you until this stuff gets out of your system.”

Cloud actually laughed. “You're so dumb. You can't do that.”

“Watch me,” he grinned. Cloud was probably right, but then again seeing him smiling and less in pain was also a good enough motivator for Zack to want to try if it helped. He scrambled back up to his feet, ready to go again but Cloud pushed his hand against Zack's chest.

“You're hard again.” They both looked down at Zack's predicament, though Cloud looked away again almost instantaneously.

“You want me to try in your butt again? We can try facing each other if you want.” That thought got Zack kind of hot. What they were doing right now was intimate, but that would be even more so.

Cloud shook his head. “Behind is fine. Um… can you maybe try… touching me while you're… you know.”

“Yeah sure.” Things were getting hotter by the second.

Cloud got up and knelt with his hands and knees on his bed, rear toward Zack.

“Lube?”

“Don't need it.” Cloud shook his head. “I feel like a wet slide back there.”

Zack laughed, feeling lighter with Cloud's lifted mood. He eyed Cloud's delicious hole to see a trail of moisture leaking out. Zack felt himself getting harder with the realization that Cloud was still full of his cum, and Zack was able to do it all again.

“You want me to use a condom?” He probably should have asked at the start but man, his head had been in the clouds. He smirked at himself, careful not to spill the beans to Cloud for fear of feeling the man's wrath over the terrible pun.

“No. Too late now anyway. Just keep doing what you were doing. Don't forget, make it hard and fast.”

“Got it.” Zack stood at the edge of the bed, pulled Cloud to himself and then took a few deep breaths. He wanted to kiss Cloud, lick him, fondle him. He wanted to make him cum and scream his name. It was Zack's personal mission.

He pushed his head against Cloud's entrance, hissing quietly as he pushed inside of the welcoming heat. Almost immediately he began pounding into Cloud, shifting his hips and shaft with every deep thrust until he heard gasps turn into moans. He hadn't been paying attention to Cloud's need before, too lost in his own and too confident in his ability to alleviate his friend's pain that he hadn't really been trying before, but he was trying now. He aimed to nail Cloud's prostate with every blow.

Moans turned to needy mewls. “Zack… Zack—hand. Please!” came the begging from in front.

Zack reluctantly dislodged one of his hands from hips, running fingertips along smooth, damp skin into thick hairs and grasping around Cloud's heat. He found Cloud's shaft well lubricated, something Cloud must have done only moments before.

Zack moved his hand with his thrusts, working from base to tip with great force, still working on the theory of a blockage somewhere, hoping to dislodge it.

He kept those motions going for a while until his legs began to tremble, his throat began to get parched from his own moans and gasps of pleasure because fuck, Cloud was tight and hot and it felt too good. Pounding into his friend was leading back to the cord of desire tightening too much around his cock and inside his lower abdomen and he was on the verge of an orgasm again.

Cloud still moaned, heady and thick. Zack kept nailing him, but there was no extra moisture, no pre-cum on his slit, which Zack thumbed once in a while as he changed his pace of thrusting and jerking. No sign of Cloud getting closer to his release.

Zack needed a rest. He gave in to his pleasure and let out an unencumbered throaty shout as he came with a few very sharp thrusts into that perfect little ass. His energy left him and he half collapsed onto Cloud's back, careful not to put his entire weight on the man, because crushing him was the last thing Zack wanted to do.

He gasped for sweet air, whilst laying against damp, and his own back awash with a river of sweat from the exertion. Zack was ashamed to admit it but he needed a breather. The room felt heavy with moisture; with no windows around the space suffered from terrible ventilation. It didn’t help Zack in his cause.

Rolling onto the bed he stared up at the ceiling, panting, “Anything?”

Cloud flipped onto his back and lay by Zack’s side, shaking his head. “No.”

“Far out, buddy, you're a hard man to please,” he joked.

“I’m sorry, Zack. You should just go home—” “Never! I want to make this better and make you feel good.”

Cloud kept looking up, but Zack saw the feverish cheeks turning a little pinker. “It does feel good—really good—its just… it’s not you, it’s me.”

“Oh wow,” Zack laughed gently. “We’re already having this conversation? I haven’t even taken you out on a date yet.”

Cloud snapped his gaze onto Zack. “What? N-no it’s not… I… I just… I—”

Zack laughed. “Relax, buddy. I’m just teasing. It’s good to hear it feels good to you even if I can’t get anything out of you. You’re bone dry.” Cloud nodded.

“You ever get a single drop out?”

Cloud turned a definite rouge color.

“Oh,” Zack chuckled. “Okay. you don’t have to tell me but maybe do whatever gets you turning that bright red.” A small noise left Cloud and he turned his head the other way. Zack found it adorable, especially after the demands Cloud had thrown out before. “I think you might have a blockage or something if you can’t come. So if it’s a toy you need, or if you need me to touch you in a certain way let me know and we can use that next time around.”

“It’s nothing… physical. It’s just… thoughts,” Cloud dragged those words up like heavy stones out of a well.

Zack certainly felt curious but given Cloud’s embarrassment, he thought it best to leave alone. “Well, do more of that. And tell me, during the anal and blow job what gave you some relief?”

Cloud turned his head back toward Zack, but not fully. He just looked at him out of his periphery. “Your hand on me. The stuff in the back just made me—it was really good but—”

“Not what you needed.”

Cloud nodded.

“All right. You're already super stimulated. You just need the release. Right?”

“Yeah.”

Both men sighed.

“Can we turn on the fan? It's really muggy in here.” Zack sat up and stripped off his shirt, hating how the thick woolen fabric stuck to him.

Cloud stared for a moment and then as Zack caught him in the act he hastily said, “Yeah, it's just over there,” and pointed toward the cough by the bathroom door.

Zack went to the corner of the room and flicked the switch of the standing fan to the highest setting. He parked himself in front of it for a few moments, loving the air currents wicking away the moisture from his chest. He turned around and did the same for his back, sighing happily. He opened his eyes, locking with Cloud’s as the other man stared at him. Cloud fell back onto his mattress looking back up at the ceiling.

Zack’s heart drummed harder every time he caught Cloud looking at him. Was it dumb to want something more from his best friend? With his best friend? Cloud was just suffering, that’s all it was. He was too obsessed with Sephiroth. Maybe, Zack thought, the least he could do would be to set Cloud and Sephiroth up on a blind date? Since Cloud was most probably gay and all. He didn’t like that thought. “You don't wanna take off your shirt too?”

“Nah, it's not going to help.”

Zack smiled with a brittle sadness in his soul. He felt for Cloud, was angry at himself for not being able to make his friend cum and again the thought returned to asking Sephiroth over. Maybe Cloud would be turned on enough since he clearly admired the other man immensely. That thought only made Zack bitter. He tried to ignore it and let his eyes trail over Cloud, as his chest rose and fell heavily, but in an even rhythm. That almost angry looking erection stood proud, dry and hot. Zack wanted to try his mouth around it again. Touching Cloud there seemed to be what gave him the most relief. That thought was confirmed when Cloud's hand idly went to his penis and began pumping. Zack watched from his position before the fan. He imagined Cloud doing that to himself whilst thinking of him. Zack roused himself out of that thought. “Do you wanna try the blowjob again?” “How’s it gonna be different from before?” Defeat shaded Cloud’s words.

Zack thought, sucking on his lips. “Maybe—” his gaze landed on the sex toys strewn around the bed and floor, “if you use one of the dildos it might help?”

Cloud hummed in thought and then sat up, looking around himself. He picked one up and held it aloft. Zack walked over and took it from him. Cloud threw himself back on the bed and sighed.

“Cheer up, buttercup and stay positive.” Cloud grumbled.

Zack knelt on the floor before Cloud, pulling on his legs, dragging him closer to himself so Cloud’s butt hung a little off the edge of the mattress. Zack looked at the big bullet-shaped plug with its tapered tip and ribbed body. Buttons were at the base and Zack pushed one. The toy came to life in an instant. “Nice.”

The appropriate lubricant was handed over, Zack covered the silicone toy in it and once Cloud propped himself up on his elbows, so he could watch (an action which got Zack’s cock twitching and dripping). Zack then pressed the toy against Cloud. “You ready?”

“Yeah, get on with it.”

Zack definitely expected the grumble of confirmation and accepted it with a chuckle. He pushed the plug into Cloud carefully, enjoying the intimate show. The wide base sat snug against skin and then Zack, with a lick of his lips, bent over Cloud’s radiating-with-heat penis and got to work. As he licked, sucked and bobbed he changed the vibration settings, each time eliciting the most delicate of gasps from Cloud. He fiddled with the base as well, moving it so it would tilt inside of Cloud, pushing and brushing against different parts of him. When Zack got a strangled moan out of the other man he held the toy in place and deepthroated him for as long as possible before needing to come up for air. He breathed deep through his nose while he sucked on Cloud’s head and finally, he smiled around the hot rock hard cock in his mouth as he could taste a saltiness that hadn’t been there before.

Zack saw this as a good sign. He kept pumping the toy in and out of Cloud at varying speeds, massaged Cloud’s innards with the vibrations and alternated between vigorously deepthroating Cloud and lovingly, tenderly, kissing and sucking on his head.

Zack kept his ministrations up for a while. The fan hitting him and circulating the air helped a lot in keeping him going. But everything he was doing still didn’t seem enough and they both came to a mutually agreed stop, without having to utter a single word between them. Cloud lifted his leg over Zack’s head and rolled onto his side. He pulled out the still vibrating butt plug, turned it off and threw it across the room.

“Go home, Zack. It’s useless.”

“No way. I’m not a quitter and I’ve never known you to be one either.” He stood up to stretch the stiffness from his muscles and joints.

“There’s nothing left, I’ll just… I’ll be okay.”

Zack thought he could see Cloud’s spirit leave his body and enter the Lifestream. “No!” He stomped his foot, made to clear what little toys were left on the bed, grabbed the warming lubricant and threw it at Cloud’s head, which caught it rather spectacularly.

“Hey, ow! What in Ifrit’s name!” Cloud picked up the tube and sat up, glaring at Zack

Zack, steely-eyed and determined, went down on all fours on Cloud’s mattress, positioning himself so his rear was in the other man’s face. “Do me.”

“W-what?” Zack almost heard Cloud fall over backward.

“Do me,” he said again, sharp and clear, looking back over his shoulder at Cloud, who sat with his legs wide apart, leaning back on his arms, as if the surprise of Zack’s words had truly bowled him over. “There’s still lots we haven’t tried. This is one of them. So c’mon, get in there and do your reps.” Zack pushed his butt back.

Blue eyes went incredibly wide. “Y-yes, Sir.” Cloud got up on his knees, hesitantly, uncapping and squeezing out some lubricant.

“Don’t dawdle, and put something in your butt before you come here.” Zack watched Cloud scramble around and grab something which he shoved into his rear without even a flinch.

Cloud finally approached, shuffling in behind Zack. Heat radiated and that was about all.

“Cloud. What're you waiting for?” Zack looked behind himself again. Cloud looked even more feverish than before.

“I can't,” he whispered and sank onto his haunches, the tips of his hair touching and brushing against Zack’s ass with how close he was to him as he sat with his head bowed.

Zack raised himself onto his knees and turned around carefully, grabbing at Cloud’s feverish and clammy shoulders. “You can. We’ll get through this. We'll find something that works,” he said, with as much optimism as he could muster without putting Cloud off.

“No. I can't do this. I don't want to do this. Not like this. Not when you feel obligated.”

“I'm not—I wanna help you. We're friends.”

Cloud roused, raising himself to his knees and thrust his arms outward, pushing Zack's hands off himself and toppling him over lightly. “Friends. I don't—just—please just leave.” The glare Cloud gave Zack melted and he sat back down on his bed, head bowed and hands interlaced before himself.

“Buddy,” Zack sat up again and went to pat Cloud's back.

“Don't! Don't 'buddy’ me. Don't touch me. Just go away,” Cloud said, pushing Zack away.

Zack backed off and leaned back, looking at Cloud completely confused. What had happened? Had he been too rough? Too demanding? Too commanding? “I'm sorry. I just wanna help,” he muttered.

Cloud turned away and pulled his knees to his chest, remaining silent.

Letting out a hefty defeated sigh Zack got up, meaning to respect Cloud’s wishes because he was all out of ideas. If Cloud didn’t want to have sex with him like that he didn’t know what else to try. He went about finding his clothes and putting them on slowly to bide his time while he thought. But he had still come up with nothing, even as he fastened his last belt, and Cloud still sat wordlessly, not even chancing a glance at Zack.

As Zack stood in Cloud’s small room, with his best friend so desperately upset and in agony Zack made a decision. “I'm gonna go get us some drinks and then we'll talk after you've had a time out.” He thought the fresher air might do him some good and maybe he could come up with another plan.

Cloud still said nothing so Zack headed for the door. Upon opening it he nearly stepped on the container of chicken soup. “Oh, hey, eat this while I'm gone. You should stay hydrated.” He went back into the room and dropped the air-tight canister before Cloud. “Should still be hot. Might even have actual chicken in it somewhere,” he smiled but got no response. “I hope it makes you feel better.”

Zack ruffled Cloud's hair, which made the other man wince. Zack frowned and left the Stacks. He had to go back to the main Shinra complex to find vending machines and get his caffeine and sugar hit. His pace kept alternating between a power walk and a dawdle as his mind wandered in and out of feeling like a creep for using Cloud like this, and genuine deep concern for his friend. Zack told himself that he wasn't using Cloud, but damn, it felt like he was, especially since he had left without actually helping him. But Cloud had wanted him to go. Cloud had felt hurt about something and Zack needed to get to the bottom of it… pun not intended but he chuckled at it anyway. But he also knew that Cloud needed space to think and process his thoughts. He hoped the walk to and from the vending machines would give him enough time to process what they had been doing and what he needed Zack to give him.

Vending machines were reached. He scrounged around his pockets for some gil, found none, but did see some very lovely ladies walking by so laid on the charm. It worked wonders and he bought a hot coffee and three icy energy drinks and made his way back to Cloud's. At least now that Cloud wasn’t in the barracks there was no curfew for him. Zack found that nice and thought about actually taking Cloud out. Maybe even on a date? He could hardly believe he had sex with Cloud Strife. It made him all giddy inside. Or maybe it was just the caffeine hit he received as he finished his coffee and downed one and a half cans of the energy drinks by the time he arrived at Cloud’s front door and knocked. “It's me.” Now would be the real test to see if Cloud had gotten over his mood enough to talk.

Shoulders relaxed when he heard the door unlatch. Zack pushed it open after a few moments more of nothing happening and entered. He found a fully clothed Cloud hunched on the ground leaning against the wall near his bed, cradling his head in his hands. Zack spied the empty chicken soup container on the low bookshelf. It made him sigh out a little with relief.

Zack sat down next to Cloud, holding out the last of the energy drinks to him. “Brought you something. Was the soup any good?”

“Was all right,” Cloud mumbled, only looking up to register the can and grabbed for it. “Don’t know how soup’s supposed to help though.” Cloud cracked the can open and guzzled the contents down.

“It’s something warm and comforting. Ma’s soups always made me feel better when I was sick. What about you?” Cloud hummed. A soft expression, which Zack recognized as only ever washing over his friends face when he thought of home, sat on Cloud’s face then. “Yeah. Mom makes this delicious creamed corn and pea soup. She toasts wafer thin garlic bread and crumbs it over the top.” Zack smiled. “That sounds divine.” “It is. If we ever get shipped out to Mt. Nibel together… I’d like to…” the light in Cloud’s eyes vanished. He swirled his can and began drinking it again. “Midgar soup can't compare.”

“True.”

They sipped their drinks in relative quiet until Zack finished his. He crushed the can and aimed for Cloud’s waste paper basket. “Nothing but net!” he quietly cheered as he sunk it. “So mind telling me what that was about before I left?”

Cloud frowned and his eyes stayed low. “You’re not—” Cloud stopped. “I—” A heavy breath was released. “Why're you doing this? Why’re you here? This is so weird… so embarrassing. It makes me—” Another huff was let out. “It makes me think of bad things. It makes me think of shit I don’t want to think of.”

“What kinda shit?”

Cloud wrinkled his brow as he quickly glanced at Zack, but just as quickly he looked away again, and out in his room. “That you’re gonna lord this over me. Hit me with the ‘I told you so’s’. I don't like the idea that I can't handle this myself. It was my choice to sign up to that program. I hate that… I hate that you're seeing me like this. I hate that we—I didn't want it to be like this. I don't want your pity, your sympathy. I don't want SOLDIER first class, Zack Fair, hero of the people only doing this to rescue me. I don't want to be rescued.” Cloud grimaced and his hand went to his crotch to rub himself through his slacks.

A current of shock buzzed through Zack. How could Cloud even think that of him! “I won't lord this over you. We don't ever have to talk about this ever again.”

Cloud grunted. “So we're going to pretend this never happened? That you didn't—in me, like twice? That you sucked on me?” He grimaced.

Panic rose in Zack. “You said you were okay with it.” Had he inadvertently taken advantage of Cloud and molested him? “I offered you to do the same to me.” Like that somehow made it better. Zack was not happy with this turn of events. “Why didn't you?” Was he blaming him? Zack wanted to scream. He wasn't good with words.

Cloud shook his head. “Forget it.”

Zack laid his hand on Cloud’s shoulder, gripping him in desperation. “No, you just said you didn't want us to pretend this didn't happen, so out with it. I need to know if I hurt you. I think I hurt you.” He frowned with worry and spoke with panic.

Cloud clenched his jaw and he still refused to acknowledge Zack but he said, “You didn't.”

Zack breathed a huge sigh of relief, but he didn't let either of them off the hook. “So what is it?”

Cloud mulled something over in his head for a few moments and then, with his head sinking down even further, he said, “You're going to laugh.”

“I won't. I swear. You're my best friend—just don't tell Kunsel, okay? Anything you tell me I keep safe.”

The briefest of smiles lit Cloud's face, but then he gave an exasperated grumble and clutched his head. “That’s the problem.” “What is?”

“We’re friends.” Zack stared, dumbfounded and not comprehending. “Wha—?”

Cloud sighed. “I think about you all the time.”

“I think about you too, buddy.”

Cloud winced. “No. I think about you—all the time.”

“Ah… yeah… me too? As I said, I really missed you while I was away.”

Cloud huffed, trying to push Zack’s hand off his shoulder. “Forget it.”

He let go but took hold of Cloud’s hand instead. “No, make me understand.”

Fingers twitched and flexed in Zack’s hand. Cloud chewed on his lips and then turned, finally fully looking at Zack. His eyes trailed down and… lingering on Zack’s crotch.

Zack looked down at himself as well and then… his mouth drifted open. Was… Cloud saying what he thought he was saying. Zack had no chance to ask because in a flash Cloud lurched forward and pressed his lips against Zack's, catching him off guard and freezing him in place, wide-eyed in bewilderment. He blinked at pale, feverish skin. Beautiful blue eyes were shut tight, breath blew against Zack’s cheek. He felt his heart begin to race and then Cloud pulled away.

“Never mind,” Cloud said quietly, trying to move away from Zack.

Zack’s brain unfogged and he sprang into action, reaching out, stopping Cloud from getting up as he cupped Cloud’s face and turned him toward himself. He leaned in without a second thought and their lips connected. Instead of just an unreceptive press of lips, Zack actually kissed, capturing Cloud’s top lip and sucking. Cloud reciprocated shyly after a hesitant moment. They moved together clumsy and uncertain of each other, tasting sugar and the lime flavor of the drink they just had. Zack tilted his head, pushing his chin against Cloud’s and sucking a little harder on Cloud’s lips and tongue.

They pulled apart but Zack kept his forehead pressed to Cloud's. He was as breathless as if he had just fought an army. “I think I get it now,” he huffed. “You want me to want to do this with you because I have actual feelings for you, and not because I feel sorry for you or want to save you for an ego boost.”

Cloud nodded.

“I'm a bit thick but I get it eventually,” he gave a small laugh and smiled.

“Do you?” Cloud asked, quiet as a mouse.

“Hmm?” Zack pulled back a little so he could see more of Cloud’s flushed face.

“Have feelings for me,” Cloud elaborated, his eyes looking shimmery and wet and only holding the eye contact for a split second.

“Cloud,” Zack smiled softly. “I do. Yeah. You're my best friend. The idea of anything hurting you kills me. That's why I need to make you come… because I care about you. I think about you every second I’m not with you.”

A reluctant sort of joy battled its way to the surface on Cloud’s face and his eyebrows strained to keep their sour expression. A smile tugged at his lips even as he said, “You're not just saying that?”

“No. If… if this was happening to anyone else—to Kunsel… I’d have dragged him out to Wall Market and paid for a room for him and however many ladies he might need. But you… you,” he stroked the side of Cloud's face, “I don't want anyone but me to help you… to touch you.” He felt protective over Cloud all of a sudden. Possessive even. “Is that what you wanna hear? Because that’s how I feel about you. Only you.”

Cloud nodded and the depth of despair lifted from his face, making his eyes and smile shine.

Zack’s breath caught in his chest at the sight and he let out a long sigh. “Thank goodness. I was feeling like a creep doing this with you. The fact that we like each other makes me feel better.”

“I'm glad one of us is feeling better,” Cloud muttered.

“Oh no, I didn't mean it like that.”

“No, it’s fine. At least something good came from this, even if it’s not me.”

The laugh burbled out of Zack. He slapped his hand across his mouth. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled through his fingers.

Cloud cracked a smile and huffed out a sound of amusement, which caused relief to flow through Zack. But then the smile faded and Cloud winced in pain, head dropping down.

“Okay, can we try again? Can I try to make you feel better because I really care about you and I want to see you happy?”

“What’re we going to do?” Cloud asked, righting himself again a little.

Zack leaned into Cloud, running his hand up his neck and cupping his cheek again. “I wanna make out with you and see where we end up. Is that all right?”

A soft exhale matched the soft smile. Cloud nodded and Zack tilted his head pushing Cloud’s head against the wall with the kiss he planted on him. This time it was a lot surer. They moved against each other in unison, mouths open, tongues gently but firmly rubbing against each other. Zack felt the flutters in his chest stirring at the clear desire Cloud showed him in the way they kissed. At last his worries evaporated because his dream was coming true. Zack slid his hands over Cloud’s body, under his shirt, feeling hot skin, flat abs, smooth flesh.

Zack moaned into Cloud’s mouth and left lighter kisses on his hot mouth. “You’re really sexy under all your clothes.” He went back to kissing Cloud deeply and brushed Cloud’s sides. He grabbed tightly and dragged Cloud onto his lap. Legs tightened around Zack’s sides and Cloud rocked into him a little. Zack trailed kisses down Cloud’s slender neck and placed a few more just at the collar of Cloud’s shirt, which he pulled open a little to place even more kisses on the well-defined collarbone.

“You really like me?” Cloud asked.

“I do. The way you stick to your guns, your determination, drive, passion. You’re an inspiration.” “Zack,” Cloud sounded disbelieving and tired.

Zack looked up from where he was sucking on clammy skin. “I mean it. Some days I wake up and don’t wanna do anything. But I think of you and how you’d kill to be in my position, so I get up, do the menial tasks because… well because I don’t want to dishonor what you hold dear.”

Cloud cupped Zack’s face and looked at him for a moment. Blue eyes scanned, looking for… sincerity? His smile unfurled and warmth bloomed in Zack’s heart at the sight.

“I hold you dear,” Cloud said quietly. Zack bit his lip. Why had he never seen it so clearly as he did now, at this moment? Cloud was everything. “You’re amazing.” He kissed the other man, hungry for Cloud like he had never been before, but he was also sure it wouldn’t be the last time. He stood up, carrying Cloud to the bed and dropped him onto the mattress gently. Zack repositioned himself on top of Cloud and resumed their kissing.

Hands went everywhere, pants were undone and flies and undergarments pushed aside. Zack touched and pumped Cloud, giving him much needed relief. Cloud kneaded Zack’s taut skin and muscles, bucking into his hand.

“I want to have sex with you, because I want you, because I care about you,” Zack husked as he kissed into Cloud’s hairline, behind his ear.

A breathy huff came out of Cloud. “I want that too, I want you. You’re all I think about when I want to get off.”

Zack shivered over Cloud’s words and then he shivered more at Cloud maneuvering himself so he could kiss Zack with a greedy and deep-exploring tongue,

The next thing Zack was aware of was something cold pressed into his hand. He looked at the lubricant, uncapping and squeezing the liquid out into his other hand. He kept kissing Cloud, pulling on his lips while he pushed his fingers into Cloud, slickening the other man up. Small needy and pleasurable sounds emanating from Cloud and his hot hands went to his own cock for more friction and to Zack's, stroking him firm and spreading the lube he had gotten onto his own hand. A few more kisses rained down before Zack was all ready and he spread Cloud open, pushing himself inside and eliciting deep and satisfying groans out of both of them.

"You feel so good. Cloud, I want you. All of you. Every bit of you. Let go for me. Let me see you," he murmured between kisses and deep thrusts.

Cloud held firm, his grip tight around Zack's shoulders, his nails slightly digging, and his whimpers keening. Zack fucked his friend—his best friend—his adorable, precious, stubbornly determined Chocobo. He increased his speed, frantically pounding into Cloud's hot and tight embrace. He gave it all he could, even reaching down between them and pumping Cloud as best he could to some semblance of a rhythm matching his jerky penetration.

Cloud's grip around Zack tightened; wrapping his legs around Zack's hips, drawing him down deeper, making Cloud pant louder in Zack's ear.

"Is this—good?" Zack strained.

Cloud nodded. "So—good. So right."

Zack groaned and slammed himself into Cloud even harder for as long as he could before he came. His aim was—had been—to stop before it was too late, but Cloud dug his fingernails in, moaned deeply and told him, ordered him—to, “Fuck me so hard that I need a phoenix down!” that Zack lost all semblance of restraint and with a raging roar fucked Cloud’s ass so vigorously that he lost himself and came while he bit into Cloud’s shoulder, making Cloud cry out in pain.

“Shit, shit, sorry, you okay? Cloud!” Zack chuffed, unable to see straight but knowing he had hurt the other man.

Cloud groaned. “Don’t stop.”

Zack tried to rouse himself, nudging his hips and his spent arousal inside of Cloud and also resumed his stroking and rubbing Cloud’s beading slit. Zack looked down at him and stared.

“What?”

“Ah…” He took deep breaths to steady himself. The heat of Cloud around him, the sight of Cloud below him; flushed cheeks, glistening skin, developing and toning muscles tensing and relaxing with his own breath—“You're really handsome," he puffed. "Y'know that? You always were but now… all the training you've been doing… it really shows and this really suits you." He rubbed his hand up and down Cloud's torso; his abs; obliques; pecs—rubbing and pinching at a nipple.

Cloud gasped and his cheeks and chest tinged red.

"You're beautiful." Zack leaned down and kissed him gently. Cloud's arms wrapped around his back, went into his hair and pushed him deeper into the kiss.

Cloud hungered for him, sucking on him deeply. Zack canted his hips gently, pushing in and out of Cloud tenderly while they kissed and moaned. His soft shaft was already throbbing again with excitement. The energy drinks really helped, along with the realization that Cloud thought of him in a special way.

Zack pulled out of the kiss. He brushed Cloud's hair up and away from his face, kissed his cheeks and smiled down at him as he pulled out of his ass.

A flash of disappointment breezed over Cloud's face. "What are you—” Zack kissed Cloud again. “I want to try the thing we haven’t tried yet.” He stroked Cloud’s burning hot shaft. Cloud lolled his head to either side and pushed his hips up. He gave a nod.

“Please. I want that. I want you. I—” Cloud’s abdomen quaked as he panted.

Zack felt it. He knew it. “I love you too, Cloud.”

Cloud blinked rapidly and focused on Zack’s smiling face for a moment, lips apart, eyes wide. And then a smile unfurled and softened his expression; it was the look Cloud always got when he thought of home. Zack leaned down again, pressing tender kisses to Cloud’s cheek and lips while he fumbled for the lubricant. On locating it he pulled off Cloud, sat up and squirted a large amount into the palm of his other hand. He threw the now-empty bottle over the side off the bed, rubbed his hands together, eliciting a squelching sound and then stroked Cloud’s cock while he reached behind himself with his other hand to prepare himself.

Cloud, looking quite feverish simply lay there enjoying Zack’s strokes and rubs of his head, relieving some of the unbearable tension and need in his body and taking the occasional pause from writhing to look at Zack touching him and just looking at Zack in general.

Zack smiled down at his best friend, while he kept pumping and lathering the shaft between his fingers, and stretching and wetting his ass. “I hope this’ll help.”

“Even… even if it doesn’t… I’m… still happy,” Cloud murmured.

Zack smiled wider. “I’m happy too. I’ll be a lot happier when you aren’t suffering, though. I want to do this with you again when you aren’t in agony.”

“A-again? You… want to do this again? With me?” Cloud’s eyelashes fluttered, baffled.

Zack laughed, a deep rumble to his tone. “Of course.” He pulled his fingers out of himself, his hand off Cloud’s straining need and scooched up, hovering above the other man’s hips. “I think—and you don’t have to say yes, right now,” he added hastily, “but I think I’d like to be your boyfriend and see where this might go.” He shifted, maneuvered the base of Cloud’s shaft back and lowered himself down, hissing and groaning at the heat and stretch and, “Fuck, you feel so good!” Tingles erupted through Zack’s body as he lowered himself. Cloud’s shaft was scorching hot inside of Zack but immensely satisfying as well. He rumbled deep in his throat with satisfaction as he got all of Cloud inside himself and sat on his lap.

Cloud’s eyes were squeezed shut and he gaped like a goldfish. His abdominal muscles rippled and it’s like his voice had been stolen from him.

“You okay, buddy?” Zack cupped Cloud’s face with concern.

Cloud’s eyes sprang open; a feral glint flashing through them. A guttural roar erupted and Cloud shot up, swung his arm and whole body, toppling them both over and off the bed. Zack grunted, slamming onto the floor, his head cracking, his shoulders and backside stinging and Cloud’s weight on top knocking the wind out of him.

Cloud huffed erratically. “Shit. S-sorry. Shit! Are you okay?” He touched Zack all over, softly, gently checking to make sure he was okay.

Zack winced but laughed. “Shit, man. That’s hot. Channel that energy and fuck me.” Cloud blushed a deep crimson. His cock was still deeply embedded inside of Zack and his attention seemed to return to his need just as Zack squeezed his insides around the hot shaft. Cloud slumped forward, resting his forehead on Zack’s shoulder, one hand under Zack’s ass, and the other arm at Zack’s side, supporting himself. He rocked in and out of Zack, the relief he got evident in the strum of his vocal cords as he murmured and hummed and huffed.

Cloud’s motions built back up the cooling furnace of desire in the pit of Zack’s stomach. He wrapped a leg behind Cloud, pushing him in harder against himself with every forward thrust, making them both moan with delighting need. Zack slid his arms around Cloud’s shoulders, hugging him, holding him, touching and fondling the definition in the muscles he found there.

Heat and sweat clung to their bodies and they gripped each other fiercely. Zack tried to keep his strength in check but the way Cloud rutted into him made him tense and coil as he struggled to keep his climax at bay. But he couldn’t; too wound up, turned on, still heady with the realization of what Cloud meant to him, and he to Cloud. His whole body tensed. “Fuck! Cloud!,” he grit his teeth holding, holding, holding—snap! He came with a deep groan spurting up Cloud’s abdomen, making Cloud whine and moan and fuck himself harder, deeper into Zack’s ass with fury and passion and desperation.

Zack’s orgasm kept rolling through him, sending a white noise through his ears, but as it cleared he heard Cloud’s labored breath, his hitching voice, and the hot, wet tears on his skin. Cloud trembled but kept hammering into Zack, needing his fill, needing to be completely drained.

“I can’t, I can’t,” Cloud chanted as he fucked, forlorn and desperate.

Zack groaned, pushed his leg, which still hooked around Cloud, further to the side and rolled them over, nearly landing them under the bed, but Zack hoisted Cloud up and away a little. He looked down at Cloud, his cheeks still red, but a tragic sadness painting his lips and brow.

“Nothing works,” he said bitterly.

“I’m not giving up, and neither should you. Were you feeling close?”

Cloud shook his head. “I need… more. I don’t know what though.”

Zack hummed and looked around himself. He spotted a toy and leaned toward the bed, grabbing it. “I’ll put this in you.” He pushed a button, bringing the vibration to life. “I’ll make you cum, Cloud. I will. SOLDIER’s honor.”

Cloud huffed; a little happy, a little sad. He handed Zack a tube of lube he pulled out from under his bed and canted his hips, stimulating himself whilst still inside of Zack, while Zack slathered up the toy and then moved it behind himself to push it inside of Cloud.

Cloud inhaled deeply. The plug sat snug against him and Zack turned it on. Cloud arched his back and mewled. Zack shivered at the sight and sound. He was a picture of perfection he wanted to see more of… but without the agonizing pain. Never that. He leaned down, sliding one hand under and around the back of Cloud’s shoulders, and his other one around the top of Cloud’s head, cradling him and kissed delectable lips; once, twice, thrice. He rocked on and off Cloud in a gentle rhythm, building momentum and speed. He fought against the shooting sensitivity inside his ass from his previous orgasm. It was nothing compared to Cloud’s state so he could easily survive this.

They kept kissing and huffing and puffing against each other. Cloud’s arms snaked up Zacks sides and broad back. Holding him, clinging, desperate as Zack worked his hips and ground his ass against Cloud’s hot shaft, pulling off almost all the way before plunging back down, and moving to shallow humping, nudging, and back to full on smashing himself onto Cloud’s burning need.

Their kissing broke at some point. Neither of them getting enough air. Cloud whined and groaned. Zack moaned and grit his teeth against the fire in his core and ass. The need to ejeculate upon him once again because Cloud’s cock was just, “Perfect. You’re so perfect. So special. Cloud. Fuck! I love you. I love you. I love you,” he murmured hoarsely with each push onto Cloud’s infernal and blisteringly hot erection.

Zack cried out in pain and ecstasy. Cloud’s nails dug, his legs suddenly shot up and clamped down around Zack’s hips, locking him down, and Cloud roared from the pit of his stomach, arching his back as heat like molten lava spewed out of him and into Zack’s ass.

The harsh cries of release kept coming out of Cloud, as did his cum. Zack could feel it leaking out of his ass, a river of pent up desire and frustration. He couldn't move; Cloud wrapped around him like a vice of limbs, despite the trembling his whole body was experiencing. And then he went completely limp, his arms sliding off as if made of lead and his legs like heavy stones splaying out to the side.

Cloud sounded like a locomotive with how he huffed and puffed. Zack looked down with adoration and relief. He witnessed the tremors rippling through Cloud and felt the hot angry cock inside himself finally slip out, soft, spent, decimated and free. But a painful shiver also looked to go through Cloud.

“Za-ck, ou-t. Out,” he whispered and winced.

Zack looked down at Cloud, suddenly affronted with the idea that Cloud wanted him gone; a painful hollow ache flushing through him—but then he heard it; the buzzing. “Shit.” In a flash he scooched off Cloud and pulled the plug out of his ass, turning it off and tossing it aside. “That better?” Cloud nodded weakly and hoisted up a ghost of a smile even as he could barely keep his eyes open. Zack ran his hand up and down Cloud’s body, trailing his fingertips over his soft, clammy, and rapidly cooling skin. He dipped down to Cloud’s abdomen and brushed against the much more normal-in-color penis laying floppy along his groin, somewhat submerged in Cloud’s own fluids, which looked a sickly green color.

Zack frowned and worried. He reached between his own legs, feeling the damp oozing out of him.

“Zack,” Cloud managed with more strength and opened his eyes with a flutter. “Thank you. I love you. Thank you.” Zack smiled. His heart felt too full and brimmed with the adoration he felt for Cloud. He lay down next to Cloud, propping his head up with his hand and draping his other arm over Cloud’s stomach, catching his hand and interlacing their fingers. “I love you too. You don’t have to thank me. You're really okay now?"

Cloud's chest heaved, his skin was so red but he smiled. He couldn't stop smiling. He nodded and laughed and tears gathered at the corners of his eyes.

Zack relaxed, leaned in and kissed Cloud gently. A shiver ran down Zack’s back with Cloud’s reciprocity of a delicate suck of his lip and brushing of tongues. Zack snuggled down closer to Cloud, resting his head on the floor, pulling Cloud to himself and rubbing his nose against the top of Cloud’s wet hair. Cloud wrapped his arm around Zack, shuffled a little nearer and not an atom of space was left between them with how close they lay pressed together.

Their hearts pounded. They could feel the reverberations. Their breaths huffed, and Cloud’s limbs still shook for a long time after.

"I'm so glad you're okay."

"Thank you. Thank you for everything. I know you didn’t mean all that stuff you said about loving me; you were just trying to make me relax so I could cum, but thank you."

Zack roused himself off his blissful cloud. He leaned back a bit and tucked his fingers under Cloud's chin to coax the other man's eyes up toward him. A stormy expression brewed there. Zack stared, somewhat bewildered. "What are you on about? Of course I meant every word. Cloud."

"Gimme a break. As if you'd really have feelings for me. I'm no one—nothing. I'll understand if you never come back to see me again."

Zack looked on, horrified. He forced himself to sit up and Cloud raised himself upright as well. They sat on the floor, Cloud shuffling back toward the bed, to minimize body contact. Zack huffed and scooched after, entangling their legs and grabbing both of, and holding Cloud's hands in his.

"No, Cloud. The only reason I'll never come back here to see you is because I'm getting you out of here. I don't want you to put your body through this kind of hell again because you want privacy. I'll get you some quarters elsewhere, with no strings attached and… and in the meantime, you can come live in my apartment."

"Live with you?"

"Yeah. I’ve got a spare storage room, remember? It’s like half the size of this place. I could fit a bed in there if you want. Or you could put your things in the spare room and sleep in my bed. It’s big enough for both of us, and I’m not in there except for maybe a day or two at most, most weeks. You know how crazy my schedule gets, yeah?”

Cloud stared silently for a few moments, his mouth hanging open. "Why would you… offer that?"

Zack frowned. "Because I wasn't pretending. I didn't say that I loved you and that you're amazing and important to me to put on a show. I love you! Have loved you for a long time. Your attitude, your determination, the cute way you get so shy even after you say or do something to put me in my place." Zack skilled and lifted one of Cloud's hands to his mouth, kissing it. "I want you to be my boyfriend, Cloud Strife. I want to have proper sex with you where you're not in complete pain and misery for more than half or all of it. I… want you bossing me around more. That's so hot. I'm being sincere, Cloud. Really. What can I do to prove it to you?"

Cloud stayed quiet for a while; thinking, looking. His cheeks suddenly flushed redder than before. "You know," he gulped, "that escort service I called…" Cloud looked away and pulled his hand out from Zack's and reached for a stack of papers on the lowest shelf of the bookcase which was within arm's reach. He looked through a few leaflets and then handed one to Zack

Zack took it and looked at the bright, bold advertisement of an escort service. He raised his eyebrows. "A SOLDIER first class impersonator service? I don't know how I feel about this," he said with a laugh. He had heard of Sephiroth impersonators before. That made Zack frown a little.

"I… asked for someone that looked like you. I…" Cloud sunk his head down, unable to look at Zack, who stared in surprise. "I wanted to hire one for so long—it's why I moved in here. Well, part of the reason. So I could be alone. And I guess… I've liked you for so long… this just feels…"

Zack blinked and stared. Cloud had… wanted him? Even a fake him? He didn’t know how, because he was so spent, but that turned him on a little. He breathed out a huff of air. "It’s all a bit much, right? To have everything you thought you knew change, and to have all your secret wishes met." Zack supplied from his own muddled thoughts and experiences.

Cloud nodded.

Zack smiled with all the tender feelings inside himself. “I feel that too, Cloud. I never thought… I’m your superior. I never wanted to use that to my advantage.” He put the flyer down, leaned toward Cloud and hoisted him up onto the bed, where he grabbed the end of the blanket and draped it over Cloud's shoulders and sat down beside him.

“I don’t think of you the way I do because of your status,” Cloud muttered and leaned against Zack and rested his head on Zack's shoulder.

Zack wrapped his arm around Cloud’s waist and hugged him to himself a little tighter. "Good. I… really liked you from the day we met. ANd then getting to know you better… I don't really know when the feelings started—well, I probably do. The way you always look at and talk about Sephiroth. I always wanted you to feel that way about me. But then, at the same time, I see how you get around him and… I didn’t want that actually. I don't want to be idolized by you. I just want your love."

Cloud moved a bit, pulled his hand out from beneath the blanket which he held wrapped around himself and took up and held Zack's hand. "You have that."

Zack squeezed him and smiled, dropping a kiss atop Cloud's head. "And you have mine, and I'll do whatever I can to prove it to you, and to keep proving it to you."

Cloud moved his head and looked at Zack, a soft smile blooming. Zack leaned in, Cloud closed the last of their distance and kissed him.

"Thank you, Zack. Thank you for being here and bringing me soup and… for not leaving when I told you to and for everything."

Zack chuckled and pressed another kiss to Cloud's chapped lips. "You're my mission. I never abandon a mission. I'll help you get into the SOLDIER program, I'll help you get a better place than this. I'll always be here for you." He made a fist and held up his arm.

Cloud smiled, also raised his fisted hand and pressed it against Zack's as he nodded.

Zack beamed with elation. "So how about it; move in with me? Be my boyfriend? I'll talk with Lorraine in charge of the unit blocks to see if she's got anything freeing up soon. But I definitely want you outta here and no longer taking strange pills."

A chuckle left Cloud at that. "You really want to be boyfriends?” he asked softly. Zack nodded. “Yeah, but no pressure. You don’t owe me or anything like that," he thought he'd clarify.

Cloud shook his head. “No, I don't feel like I do. Though I am grateful that you’re here and such a good friend. Such a…” his voice dropped down into a shy whisper, “great boyfriend.”

Zack grew tingly all over again. “Will you accept my offer of staying with me?”

Cloud nodded, slow at first but it quickly sped up in strength. “Yeah. If that's okay.”

“Of course it is.”

"Alright then. I guess if I have the real Zack Fair I don't need to live here to get a fake one."

Zack laughed brightly and pulled Cloud into a fierce hug, peppering him in kisses. “What was he like? Did he look like me?”

Cloud pulled away a little to look over Zack. “He sort of did. He had your nose and your tan, but I think it was fake. He doesn’t have your smile though, your laugh, your hands.” Cloud pulled Zack’s hand up to his cheek and nuzzled into it.

Zack leaned in again and kissed Cloud softly; a glint of amazement coursed through him with every free kiss he got and took from the other man. “I’m glad I got to give you the real deal.” “You’re way more effective than a fake or the chicken soup. I don’t think it would have done me any good. Would have just made me feel worse.” Zack squeezed and hugged Cloud tightly. “I’m here to always make you feel better.” “Thank you.”

They shared another kiss and then reluctantly detangled from each other to go and shower together before making plans to exit Cloud out of the Stacks program and get him settled into Zack’s apartment.

#zakkura #clack #cream pudding writes #woeful wip wednesday #oneshot #pwp

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writerrose1998 · 11 months

Text

WIP File Game

RULES: post the names of the files in your wip folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it.

Tagged by @realisticintentions

These are my Wednesday wips:

Chapter 6 Woeful Melody [Tyler pov]

Chapter 7 Woeful Melody [Knives out]

Wicked Game

Interlude Woeful Melody

Tagging back: @lovepoison9 @wincestation @wednesdayandherhyde @anotherbluesunday @ourdramaqueen

#wednesday x tyler #tyler x wednesday #wednesday netflix #tyler galpin #wednesday series #weyler #wyler #wednesday

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creamypudding · 3 years

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Woeful WIP Wednesday

Getting into some juicy Zakkura. I started this Omegaverse story in May 2020 and while I have a clear vision for how it’s supposed to go I also got stuck on it because I got bogged down in the immense world-building and couldn’t quite figure out how to pull off what I wanted to try and do with this story.

So sadly, it is stuck in WIP hell until further notice. Also, interestingly enough I wrote an alternate scene that goes towards the end of this WIP where Zack and Cloud have sex. At least I think that’s what happened. I think you can find the alt smut scene somewhere on my tumblr.

Rated M Word count - 5577

If you enjoy this, or any of the other WIP’s it would be great if you would let me know. Cheers.

Danger in the Hills

“Zack! Zack!” come the screams.

Zack blinks bleary-eyed and yawns.

“Zack!”

His friend's voice rouses him out of his slumber. He flings his thick bed sheets aside and bounds to the little bedroom window, throwing the shutters and panes aside. “Morning, Cloud! What’s up?” “Morning, Zack!” Cloud grins back, his blue eyes sparkling in the growing daylight and his blond hair barely contained in its ponytail. “You know how the wind howled like crazy last night?” “Yeah?” He stifles a yawn and sticks his finger in his ear, scratching. “Obacha is sitting in the square!” He freezes. “She’s what?” Zack screams.

“Quick, come!” Cloud’s already racing away.

“Momma, Obacha is here!” Zack roars, racing about to fling on pants, shirt, and a jacket.

“Momma, can I kill Zack yet?” Yuffie’s voice rises from her bedroom.

“It’s too early for this noise! My dough is rising, shh!”

Zack laughs loudly, swings by the kitchen where he can see his mother working some bread dough, and grabs an apple out of the bowl, taking a big bite.

“Don’t forget you need to get to school,” she warns as Zack slips on his shoes and leaves through the backdoor.

“All good, Momma.”

Chewing the apple, he races ahead, climbs onto a box so he can reach, and jumps the hedged fence, landing on the dirt road outside his small straw and mud house. He hurries down the path as it winds through the narrow streets, which open up to the large cobble-stone plaza. He finds Cloud, his mop of blond sticking out in a sea of dark-haired children that are gathering and the chorus of ‘It’s her, it’s her,’ going up.

He drops his fruit and runs up to his best friend, throwing his arm around his shoulder. “How long’s she been here for?”

“Don’t know. I woke up, heard something, came and got you, and now I’m here. Can you see her?” Cloud jumps and ducks to try and catch a view between the older kids that got there faster than him.

Zack is bigger so stretches onto his toes and, between a break of bodies, spies the old woman, in her indigo mantle. Zack squeaks and excitedly taps Cloud. They swap spots. Zack heaves to lift Cloud a little so he can see too.

The view disappears as the adults begin encircling the wandering nomad. Other adults fan out, saying there is nothing to see—that everyone should go home and get ready for school—that Obacha would still be here come afternoon because she always hangs around. She is a spirit manifested. She is too old to live. It’s never good news when she shows up. Wonder what she wants. She always turns our children’s heads.

The children disperse.

Zack excitedly talks to Cloud about the last time they saw her, two years ago as they head back to Zack’s place for breakfast.

The day drags but eventually school is out. The children rush home and rush back to the plaza to see Obacha still there, this time looking comfortable and welcome. She sits on a wood-hewn stool, a bonfire lit as winter’s day robs the world of light.

She spends the evening telling stories and handing out honey-soaked bread to the village children. Zack and Cloud among them. The night grows deeper. The flames of the fire dance, and twirl higher and higher, sending embers to scurry along the wind, dotting the inky-black sky like fireflies. Zack loves hearing the stories. He is enraptured and as the children around him nod off and get taken by their parents to war beds, he and Cloud inch closer to the front.

By the time the two best friends settle close to her knees she begins telling the children that remain awake of their ancient heritage. An old tale of Alphas and Omegas, created by Erdvata himself. She speaks of trials, of tribulations, of how the very world around them was shaped by all that came before.

Zack and Cloud look up eagerly, hanging off every word she speaks

She finishes her story and smiles down at them, cupping their soft faces in her boney hands. “You two are such captive audiences."

"Is it all true, Obaba?" Cloud asks, a world of wonder reflected in his wide-blue eyes.

"It is. It is both your heritage to embrace, treasure, and to propagate.

"Me 'n' Cloud are gonna be mighty Alphas when we get older." The spritely, gap-toothed grin spreads across Zack's face like a wildfire.

Cloud leaps to his feet, energy washing away the drowsiness. "We'll vanquish foes, and wage wars, and take all the treasures and make our momma’s rich," Cloud enthuses.

"Yeah!" Zack also springs up and the two boys bump fists together.

“Obacha,” Zack’s little sister's voice breaks through the dark.

“Can you tell these lamo’s that they can’t both be Alphas!” Yuffie walks toward them, rubbing her eyes, as she’s just woken up from having fallen asleep a while ago.

Zack frowns at her. “Sure we can!”

“Nah-ah.

“There’s only one born every couple of generations. Our uncle Angeal is one, so how are you going to ever become one?”

Zack huffs.

Cloud chimes in. “There were three Alphas once!” “Yeah! That’s right. How’d you explain that?” Zack boasts, inflated.

“That's a lame story to give knuckleheads like you a dream!” “Nah-ah! “You’re full of lies, Yuffie!” “You’re full of lies!”

Obacha speaks up, and the children stop their squabbling. “While it is true that Alphas and their Omegas are rare, it is also foolish to try to predict when such creatures are born. Sometimes the stars align and Erdvata creates what is needed. One Alpha, one Omega. Two Alphas, two Omegas. It does not matter. There are always pairs though. Where one is, another must exist.”

“There wasn’t an Omega in the village when Uncle lived here,” Zack says.

“He went away to look for his other half,” Yuffie chimes in.

“I remember young Angeal well. He had a challenging quest. Do you know if he ever found his Omega?” The children shake their heads. “We never met him. He went away before we were born.”

Yuffie nods along in agreement.

“That is sad to hear.”

“Um,” Cloud says, “Can I ask something?” “Of course.” “If Alphas are born why do we have to go on our vision quest when we turn 18? Shouldn’t we already know if we are Alphas?”

The old matriarch smiles and her skin crinkles like paper. “Every child has a destiny to fulfil when they are born. But the key to one’s destiny has to be unlocked. And to learn the secret you younglings go on your quests when you are old enough. Do they teach you it in school? Do you pay attention? Do you remember how to make the potion?

“Of course we do!” All three children sing out. “Collect flowers of snow,” Cloud recites. “Gather reeds of ash,” Zack recalls, “And milk the weevils for their honey,” Yuffie finishes.

“Bind them together in a place that's sunny,” all three finish in unison, giggling.

The kindly smile remains rooted in place. “Yes, very good. You do these things and on your vision quest you receive the last bit of information on what to do with the potion. It's the same for everyone, but if the strength and will of the Alpha or Omega reside within you, they will be brought forth. And if not—”

“We stay boring old us,” Zack and Cloud lament.

Zack cheers up in a blink of an eye. “No way will that be us, Cloud. I just know it. We’ll both be Alphas!” Yuffie blows air and shakes her head.

“Let me take a look at you two.” Obacha reaches for the boys. They step closer and have their faces cupped.

She tilts Zack and Cloud’s faces this way and that. She hums to herself and locks onto Zack.

“You will become a great protector to the most precious thing there is.” With a smile she focuses on Cloud, “And you…” her gaze flickers between the two boys. The wrinkles on her face eepen with her smile. “My, my, my. You, little one, will bring even the mightiest of warriors to their knees.”

She releases them both.

“What about me!” Yuffie jumps up and down, waving her hand. “Hmm, you, child, will be the harbinger of mischief.”

Zack and Cloud giggle. Yuffie pouts.

“Now let this old woman get some rest for tonight. Your mother is angry.” She waves Zack’s mother over as she’s been standing back for a while.

“Sorry momma.” “You two are up way too late and Cloud, your mother is looking for you. I told her I’d send you home.”

“Can I walk Cloud home?” With a sigh, Zack’s mother nods and the boys run off through the quiet streets.

“Did you hear what Obacha said? We’ll both be Alphas! I know it!” Zack enthuses, “I’ll be a great protector and you’ll bring the mightiest warriors to their knees! Oh geez! How exciting is that?”

“Yeah!” Cloud agrees. “What’s your lame sister know anyway? Obacha says we’ll be Alphas!”

They giggle as they run down the path and turn up the path to Cloud’s house. Sneaking through the back Cloud climbs through his bedroom window to avoid waking his family. He keeps hanging by the window, the boys excitedly talking to each other in hushed tones.

“We'll build our huts when we come of age and we'll guard the village.” “Yeah!”

“Where will you build yours?” Zack asks.

“Out in the Meadow. You know how the wolves come sniffing about on that side each year? I'll keep farmer Mardow's flock safe.”

“Ahh, yeah! Great thinking!” Zack gives Cloud a thumbs up.

“Do you still plan to build on the hill?”

“Yep, if no one else beats me to it. It's a great vantage point. I'll make a little lookout nest and I'll see everyone who comes and goes. I should even be able to see you in the meadow and when the wolves come I can run down and help you wack them!”

Cloud grins and giggles. “I’ll help you build it. We can make a slide from the top to the bottom.” “This is why you’re my best friend.” They fist bump. Zack grabs Cloud and half-pulls him out of the window and into a hug.

Seasons pass until Zack's big day. The two young men have both been looking forward to this day. Cloud helped Zack build his hut up on the hill like they always dreamed about. It doesn't have a slide, but there is a rope ladder reaching from the ground to the look-out they fashioned out of wood and steel.

"I don't know how long I'll be Tristan was away on his vision quest for two weeks."

"Yeah, but you're better than him. I'll see you in the morning, probably." Cloud smiles encouragingly.

Zack laughs.

They bump their arms together.

"Alright. Your faith in me is all I need. I'll be back in the morning, and an Alpha."

"I know you will."

Such affection bubbles up on Zack that he can't stop himself from pulling Cloud into a fierce hug. Zack savours the contact, inhaling the sweet scent that is quintessentially Cloud and releases him as they both giggle.

"See ya real soon, buddy!"

Cloud nods and sees Zack off.

Zack finds himself the ingredients pretty quickly. He plucks the flowers, collects the reeds, and the bugs… he's always hated that part the most but after finding a nest squeezes their innards into a jar and combines all the ingredients.

From his accounts that is all the easy part. The hard part is waiting for the vision. He's grilled his friends who have gone through it. Their accounts all varied. Ashton saw a reflection in a pool, Sonya had a feeling, Bert a dream.

Zack trapses around the countryside he's spent all his life exploring. He passed in and out of shadowy and sun-filled forest clearings where he and Cloud practiced sword fighting with sticks, and then later with actual steel when they had been old enough to do so. He follows the trail that skirts along the gorge he and Cloud dared each other to climb down into to pick a flower for a girl they had both liked. He reached the shallow pools and rushing waters at the top of the waterfall and smiles at his reflection, thinking of hot summers spent bathing here together with Cloud and all the play-fights they had. Of course all their other friends has been along for a lot of their galavantings through the country but Zack fondly remembered Cloud, ever at his side.

He's enjoyed his time growing up with his best friend. Cloud's face gets stuck in Zack's head. His piercing blue eyes, his wild hair that he can never tame. He thinks of the times Cloud asked for help to shave his head, only for the hair to have grown back twice as unruly.

Zack chuckles. The sun is starting to wander into the West and the heat begins to grow stifling. He gets out of the beating sun, moving into the shadowed forest and finds a tree to rest against.

He digs around his small pack, looking for—"Oh," he sighs and smiles. There is a package wrapped in leaves. Zack already knows it's a gift from Cloud. A snack. Bean-filled buns he probably got his mother to make, as these are one of Zack’s favorites.

Zack takes a bite of the sweet treats while his chest swells with affection. "How'd I get so lucky to have a friend like you?"

He wishes Cloud were here. Wishes they could have gone on their vision quest together, but Cloud's time hasn't come yet as he is close to a full year younger than Zack.

"Next year, I'll pack you something special for your quest too," he murmurs and shoves the whole bun into his mouth.

Zack wakes up with a start. The sun is low, casting long shadows. He's still propped against the tree he had rested at when he'd had his break. Cursing himself he goes to move but stops. He notices it then… the uncomfortable throb and tightness in his pants.

He tries to ignore it—he needs to make a shelter, and quick. Cloud would make fun of him having fallen asleep for so long and failing to make a bed for himself.

'Typical Zack,' he'd say. Zack chuckles at the thought. He doubles over, sucking in air past his teeth. His cock aches. He goes to touch himself through the fabric of his pants.

With a sigh, he unbuckles and fondles his head. "Hah," he breathes out sharply. His fingers feel too sensitive and dry for his own touch. While rubbing himself he fumbles through his bag, finding a bottle and pours the liquid onto himself.

He groans with satisfaction at the cool liquid on his heated erection. He nudges himself into orgasm with the tiniest thought turning to his best friend for a moment.

"Ahhh." His clothes are a mess. He's a lot wetter than he thinks he should be. Looking for the bottle he used to lubricate himself with—his hand stays before he can touch the tinctures bottle.

"Shit!"

It's the one for his vision quest.

"No, no, no! Stupid. Shit! Fuck, no." He gets up wiping his hands on his soiled clothes. He's torn between seeking shelter for the night and going back to find the flowers, reeds, and weevils.

"Tsk. I guess I'll just do it all again in the morning."

He rushes around, thankful for the broken branches and large amount of leaf litter. It doesn't hurt that it's also a warm night. Building his shelter distracts him from the moisture in his pants. It's not the first time he's thought of his best friend, but it doesn't shield him from the embarrassment.

He goes to sleep, but it is restless and he's uncomfortable. Feeling too hot, too… stiff… too many unsettling dreams which he can't grasp on waking up. All he knows is that he feels… a strange buzzing inside himself on waking up. The world seems a little sharper, the colors crisper and everything feels in focus.

"Who's there?" he growls, grabbing his bag and a stick which he wrestles free from his shelter.

"Just an old woman."

Zack recognizes the voice and some of the edge to him wanes. He draws out of his shelter.

"Obacha."

She sits on a stump near the mouth of Zack's shelter.

"Are you here to give me my vision quest?"

"If I were, would you be able to follow through with it? Do you have any of the potion left?" Age doesn't diminish the mischief in her voice or dampen the smirk.

Going beet red Zack stammers for words that don't come.

"It is alright and expected of an Alpha to not wait for anyone or anything."

"A-alpha? I am one?"

"What would you say?"

Zack takes a deep breath. He doesn't feel the same as yesterday. He feels… complete. "Yes." He bares his teeth in a grin.

Obacha rises with the aid of a walking stick. She appears frail but once she stands to her full height, despite the stooped back, there is something formidable about her.

"You are now an Alpha. It is your duty and destiny to shape the world around you, to protect the weak and those who cannot protect themselves. Do not let your hubris be your unmaking. Even Alphas need others. Need a pack. Need an Omega. Be kind and tempered to yours. Even the strongest Alpha will fall if they cannot protect what is theirs."

Zack nods along, the gravity of the woman's words settling on his shoulders. "I have people to protect. I will protect them… that is all I've wanted in my life."

"Good."

"Um… how will I find my Omega? There haven't been any in these parts—it’s why my uncle left."

Something akin to mischief played on Obacha's lips. "You will find your Omega when it wishes to let itself be found."

"Ah… okay. That's all mystical and good, but doesn't answer my question. Am I supposed to do something? Go somewhere?"

"Be brave, and kind, and show strength in protecting your village until the time comes. And once you have found each other be braver, kinder, stronger than you have ever been before."

Zack nods. He reaches around for his backpack. "Is there anything else—" He turns back around to find her gone. Nothing remains but a swirl of leaves in the breeze.

Zack returns to the village and he doesn't get further than the outpost before he is spotted and the news spreads to everyone's joy. Zack is surrounded in a matter of minutes. Apparently he has changed enough for his status to be instantly recognizable.

"You've grown."

"Your arms!

"Your eyes… they glow!"

It's all news to Zack. Also a little overwhelming. The noise of the village is turned up too much. There are scents in the air—pungent and astringent odors all around. Something sweet catches his attention. Zack whirls around and spots through the crowd of village elders, and friends, Cloud. His mood lifts.

“Cloud!” he waves and pushes through, promising, "I'll come talk to you later," to the people he passes.

"We'll feast tonight!" someone comments, and that promise catches on like wildfire, dispersing the crowds who are all busy with now organizing a feast.

Zack reaches Cloud, his sweet aroma a balm against everything that's too bright and full on for him right now.

They press their forearms together.

"Congratulations! You're an Alpha! I never had a doubt!"

"Thanks, bud." Zack claps his arm around Cloud's shoulder, pushing him along. They walk on without missing a step.

"Where are we going?"

"I need to go home. This is… all a bit too much for me right now." Zack explains as he walks—all the changes he’s experiencing. The sight, the smell, the sound. His heightened experience.

Cloud listens, marveling, and on getting to Zack's hut, he hurries around the place, drawing fabrics before windows even as Zack makes straight for his bedroom to lay down and sort out his senses.

"How did it happen?" Cloud asks, coming in like a scent of fresh fruits in a stagnant sewer, and bringing with him a damp cloth.

Zack sighs and collects his thoughts for a moment while Cloud sits next to him on his bed, pressing the cloth to his head. He can't tell Cloud the truth: having fantasized about his best friend, that he smeared the ointment all over his genitals to help get himself off. He feels depraved thinking back on it.

"I don't know, man. It just… happened? I gathered the ingredients and then… fell asleep and woke up to find it was almost night—"

Cloud chuckles. "Typical Zack."

Zack feels heat rising in his chest. He clears his throat. "And then I built myself a shelter and woke up this morning and Obacha was there, saying I'm an Alpha. So…" he shrugs. "I really don't know what to tell you.'

Cloud smiles. "I hope my time will be so easy when it comes."

Zack barks with laughter. "I hope so too."

"So, tell me… besides all the smells and sounds and your eyes hurting… what's it like being an Alpha? You look… different. Do you feel it too?" Cloud’s eyes wander over Zack’s torso.

Zack sits up in bed and looks down at himself. "I feel… stronger. Like I could take on a lion. My body… feels… well, I'm not sure yet." He flexes his arms and clenches his fist. Cloud's hand is right there. He takes it in his own, drawing sky-blue eyes onto himself.

He squeezes gently. "I feel like I could fight the world to keep those who matter most to me safe." ------------------------------------------------

The village is different now that an Alpha’s around. Cloud thinks people feel safer: protected. He knows that feeling brings a smile to Zack’s soul and in turn his. He couldn’t be prouder of Zack. In his heart he also looks forward to his day to be who he was born to be.

The Alpha status however brings a toll to their long-standing friendship. Zack’s always been a great guy. Popular. Charming. Helpful. But suddenly everyone wants to be around Zack all the time. It infringes on the time Cloud has been accustomed spending alone with Zack: usually the end of their work days, knocking back drinks, going on patrols around the surrounding fields at night, the sparring matches and training sessions.

They don’t do these things anymore, or there are people hanging around. And a lot of those people are girls.

Zack and Cloud have had a healthy appreciation for the girls in their village. Cloud is quite fond of Nadia, and has been so for a few years. He knows Zack’s fooled around with a few, but now a gaggle surround Zack most nights. Cloud distances himself from that, and sadly also his friend.

He focuses on building his future home, as is the custom for men in the village to do so. Moving out into a place that has been built by one’s own hands always happens round the vision quest, because if, like Zack, one becomes an Alpha and needs more personal space, it is available.

It’s grueling and slow work, but Cloud still has another winter and spring before his day comes to move out. Yet he still attacks his hut with an underlying sense of urgency which he can’t explain away.

He digs holes, fashions frames, collects stones, harvests the straw, and bailes it up. He has fanciful plans for his home. The skills he’s gained apprenticing at the blacksmith give him ideas to strengthen his build, beyond the straw and mud most of the homes in the village are made of.

One afternoon Cloud is stacking the bales that will fashion the front entry. Summer has faded and winter draws nearer, stealing the available daylight.

He looks up, something on the air that catches his attention.

“Cloud!” Cloud’s heart sings at the sound of Zack’s voice. He whirls around.

“You’re making amazing progress!”

“Thanks. It’s a bit slow at the moment, but I guess it’s okay. I need to wait for more grass to grow before I can finish the rest.” “I’m so sorry that I can’t help you as much as I’ve wanted to.” “It’s okay. I know you are busy with a lot of guard duties and taking the chief to Crags Shole and other places.” Zack sighs. “Yeah. I feel bad though. You helped me so much and I can’t repay you.” “Repay me by inviting me for dinner tomorrow night, if you’re free,” Cloud offers.

“Yes! Absolutely.” “Great. Um… can… it just be the two of us though?” “Oh, yeah. I’ll make sure to keep the time clear for you. I’ll get us a roast.”

“A good one?” “Yeah,” Zack laughs. “I’m in everyone's good books now. I bet I could even get some apple sauce.”

“Wow, yeah. Do that!”

Zack comes over and helps Cloud work on some of his hut making. They talk. Catching each other up. It feels good to Cloud. Normal. Like it’s always been. Has Zack always smelled so good?

The man leans in, reaching around Cloud as he positions and heaves more hay bales.

Zack inhales deeply. “Are you using a new shampoo?” He buries his nose in Cloud’s hair.

Zack’s always been affectionate. Something about the woody and sharp scent gets Cloud a little flustered. He leans back, laughing nervously.

“Um… I’ve been experimenting with different herbs I guess?”

“Mm, I like it.” Zack pulls away, giving space. “Are you okay? You’re looking… hot.”

“Yes. I’ve just been out here for a while. I think it’s time to pack up and go home.” “Yeah. You’re right. It’s getting dark. I’ll walk you home?” “Yeah. I miss hanging out with you.” Cloud gets up, dusting himself off and once Zack’s also up they walk across the meadow and toward the village.

It doesn't take long for one of the girls to catch sight of Zack.

"Hello, Zack," she giggles. "Hello, Cloud," she tacks on. "Where are you off to tonight?"

"Just dropping Cloud off at home."

"Could you come back here and take me home too, after." She leans against the fence, her arms squeezing her sides and popping her breasts out.

Cloud barely contains the eyeroll.

"Aren't you already home, Clarissa?"

She giggles some more. "I could use a walking around."

"I'll… think about it."

They walk off, leaving the girl behind.

Zack sighs. "I can't go anywhere with you without that happening."

As if to prove the case in point two more girls approach Zack before they draw close to Cloud's house.

"Sorry," Zack apologizes once more.

"They really want to all sleep with you?"

"Yes."

"And are you?" Cloud askes, turning into the lane that leads to his house.

"Ah…" Zack scratches at his head. "The thing is… I never knew being an Alpha would make me so… y'know."

"Attractive?"

"Do you think I am?"

"You know you are."

Zack chuckles but turns serious, "I'm really horny." He shrugs.

"You're lucky. You can pick whoever you want. And not even the elders care because of what you are now."

"Don't worry, Cloud. You'll be like this too when summer is back. I just know it."

They smile and reach Cloud's front door. They press their arms together and grasp each other's hands.

"And don't worry. I won't touch Rosabelle. I know how you've always had your eye on her."

Cloud smiles. "Thanks. Don't forget dinner tomorrow."

"I won't." Zack ensnares Cloud in a tremendous hug before departing.

"You smell crazy good. Bring me a bottle of that shampoo when you come over tomorrow."

"Will do."

It's winter and Cloud's almost finished building his new home. A good thing too as the ground is constantly frozen, which would have made it ten times harder to dig holes for the support beams if he had left it for til now.

Zack isn't around much, though that suits Cloud just fine. He's been having a funny reaction to his best friend for the last month.

At first he brushed the strange sensations off as random coincidences. But then he started to notice a pattern. After he sees Zack he feels really hot. It starts in the pit of his stomach and spreads. The intensity has gotten worse over time. He wanders outside in the snow without anything but the thinnest of shirts and trousers; not even wearing any shoes. He also feels really thirsty. And lately… he's developed an overwhelming urge to… dig. Which is how he knows the ground is too hard. He just wants to disappear, bury himself. Feel a comfortable warm weight on himself, so he uses quilts.

He doesn't understand why, but it happens when Zack has been visiting him, or he visits Zack.

He also gets really angry when he can smell the perfumed scent of girls on Zack. He knows that Zack's slept with probably half the women in the village. Even outside of. News of an Alpha has spread as has a rumour that a lucky woman could become his Omega.

Cloud had nearly lost his shit when he'd overheard that bit of gossip while he'd been sourcing flour for his mother at the mill. Since Zack regularly works at the mill it’s also where a lot of the girls and women hang out.

Cloud never thought he'd hate collecting flour for his mother, but that day has finally come.

"I'm really sorry," Zack comes over to apologize one night, carrying a pot of apple sauce with him.

They hole up in Cloud's small room, eating the whole jar between them both, reflecting on the past and having a wonderful time together.

"I miss it being just you and me," Cloud mutters, feeling incredibly sullen.

"I know. I wish I had an Omega. At least then all these women would leave me alone."

"Why are they coming here?"

“They seem to believe sleeping with an Alpha is like a vision quest. That and it's a novelty.”

“Are you okay with being used like that?”

“When I'm here with you like this… no. When I've been working hard for a couple of weeks and the offers keep rolling in… it gets hard saying no. I get… hungry. I need… fulfilment." Zack takes a deep whiff and hums in delight. "I honestly can't explain it. And thanks for that shampoo, by the way. I, ah… could use some more. Have you changed it? You smell different. Good… like," Zack leans against Cloud, his nose to the nape of his neck, "oranges and vanilla. Damn. That's my favorite smell." Zack sniffs again.

A shiver runs through Cloud. "Quit that." He pushes Zack off himself as a strong buzzing erupts in his body and a tightness grows in his pants.

“S-sorry.” Zack sits up straight.

Cloud stands up, needing to get his legs moving. “I’ll get you a new bottle of shampoo, just hang on a minute.” He leaves his room, barely containing himself to a walk. His cheeks burn. He heads outside into the cold, relieved over the winter chill and goes to the shed where he keeps his herbal tinctures and his shampoo mixtures. He takes his time filling up the thick liquid into a bottle until his heart stops racing. He fears going back inside to see Zack on his bed because the thought alone gets his palms sweating.

But he heads back inside eventually—only to run into Zack at the backdoor.

“Hey, there you are. I was getting worried!” “Sorry, I was just trying to find a bottle to put this in for you.” He pressed the bottle into Zack’s chest, simultaneously pushing him away.

“Thanks buddy.” Are you okay? You’re looking…” Zack takes a long stare up and down Cloud’s body.

“Yeah. I’m fine.” Cloud attempts to give a smile. He clenches his fists to stop the jittering. “Um… Zack… thanks for the apple sauce and the company. I’m… really tired though.” “Oh. Okay. Thanks for this,” he raises his hand, holding the bottle. “I’ll catch ya later.” Cloud grunts. Zack wraps him up in a hug. Heat bursts across Cloud’s cheeks once more. Zack smells of warm delight. His arms squeeze Cloud with enormous, yet gentle, strength. His knees feel like they-might buckle. He pushes against Zack and gives him a smile. “See ya.” Finally Zack leaves, with a wave and a glance over his shoulder.

Cloud watches Zack disappear down the lane. He doesn't go inside though. He’s too hot. He takes off in the opposite direction of Zack’s house, slipping through the fence and heading down the dark and empty streets, not caring where he goes. His feet pick up the pace. He finds himself hurrying. An urge pushes him on. An urge to get away. A need to bury himself. A rush to scream out the heat inside his body.

He races into the woods. The near full moon casts shadows. Animals scatter and scurry as Cloud tunnels through the foliage, not in the least bit precious about being smacked in the face with branches and leaves.

#zakkura #clack #cream pudding writes #woeful wip wednesday #wip

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creamypudding · 2 years

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Woeful WIP Wednesday

I kind of forgot to post more WIPs as Christmas came around. I definitely still have a bunch more I can share, so while it’s still Wednesday perhaps I can start doing this again. And hopefully I remember on a weekly basis 😅

I’ll get the ball rolling with another AkuRoku story that I started in July 2019 and haven’t touched it since March 2020. I had a small idea for a story where Roxas breaks up with his boyfriend (Hayner) and goes out to be miserable in peace. Axel is there and he and Roxas know each other but aren’t friends or anything like that. The story is supposed to end with Axel telling Roxas how unlikable and unlovable he is and it ends in some sort of 10 Things I Hate About You speech and they hook up.

That’s how it’s supposed to go in theory anyway.

Rated T

Word count - 335 (I clearly never got very far in this)

If you enjoy this, or any of the other WIP’s it would be great if you would let me know.

Cheers.

(Un)Loveable

Idyllic. Match made in heaven. Meant to be. Perfect. Those were all words Roxas had used for himself and Hayner; his best friend and lover. It had all ended. And ended in disaster. A stupid fight. A dumb, meaningless argument stemming from preposterous roots.

Roxas needed to get away from his friends, from Hayner. He went to the party he had seen advertised around campus, because it was unlike him. A sick satisfaction rolled through him as he arrived at the unlike-him place, wearing unlike-him clothes; little denim shorts and a tank top which showed a bit of mid-drift. He went straight for the drinks table, loaded up on a kaleidoscope of drinks, throwing them back one after the other, not caring for flavor.

“Looks like you’re trying to get there first,” Axel laughed.

“Why hello, stranger. Haven’t seen you in a week.”

Roxas turned around even as he poured a shot of Vodka down his throat. He breathed out, the alcohol burning down his throat, his stomach delightfully warm and a buzz through his veins. “Shitface,” Roxas greeted the familiar figure dressed in a red satin shirt, which slid off one shoulder, and black skinny jeans.

“Shut up and drink.” Roxas blindly grabbed behind himself, felt for a bottle, knocking something over in the process and pressed the drink containing pink liquid into Axel’s chest. He turned around and refilled his cup with something red.

Axel stepped close and pressed himself against Roxas’ back. “I hardly recognized you. What’re you wearing?”

“Whatever the fuck I wanna wear,” Roxas said as he spun around and glared up into Axel’s face. Still with his body against Axel’s, he took a long gulp out of his cup and Axel guzzled down the contents of the bottle.

Roxas shoved against Axel and pressed into the crowd. He listened to the thundering beat of the music and dropped his cup and let loose, arms flailing, headbanging, feet stomping, not caring if it was along to the music or not.

#akuroku #akrk #cream pudding writes #woeful wip wednesday #wip

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creamypudding · 3 years

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I have 14(?) written WIPs in various stages of completion (most are only scratching the surface) and I have decided that I'll start posting them here on Tumblr for Woeful WIP Wednesday - a term I have made up. It will be a thing.

Strap in for raw, unadulterated first drafts of things - many of which I have no idea how the story is supposed to pan out or progress, which is probably why they are still half-started WIPs to begin with. 😄

#cream pudding writes #woeful wip wednesday

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creamypudding · 2 years

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Woeful WIP Wednesday

This story is from way back October 2018. It’s AkuRoku, so far is only 1 chapter, and is a role reversal. Axel is the goody two-shoes and Roxas has had a very hard life and has the literal scars to prove it.

I’ve always thought I’d get back to this story when I have time. When I finish my other WIPs. It’s kinda near and dear to my heart and I have so much angst and pain to explore in this story. There are also so many funny and tender things to be explored in this story. I will finish it one day. I will. Just... I need the headspace and I need to finish other stories first.

You can have the first chapter

Rated E Word Count - 3786 NSFW. Oral sex If you enjoy this, or any of the other WIP’s it would be great if you would let me know. Cheers.

Sharehouse

It had been an exhausting day because there had been a lot to do since he was aiming to leave early. He managed it, made it home to the sharehouse he was living at with its soon-to-be six occupants, grabbed his pre-packed duffle bag from his room, and with car keys still held firm in his hand, he flew out the door again in under 10 minutes. But he couldn't get out without the sound of Sora screaming, “Have a most epic birthday, Lea!”

Lea was glad that Sora hadn’t invited himself along like he had tried to do the previous two years. In the past, it always had been Riku to calm Sora’s overzealous enthusiasm, for which Lea had always been grateful for. The fact that Sora didn’t try to jump Lea this time around could be squarely laid blame to the fact that Sora had finally gotten with Riku, his not so secret mad-man-crush, about a month previously. It had meant that Sora hadn’t paid Lea much heed, which Lea was ecstatic about. As long as Sora continued to do his rostered on duties in a timely fashion and left Lea alone all was well.

Lea shook his head as he started up his old, blue, beat up Chevy and pulled out of the driveway and drove down the street, adamant that he would focus on having an epic and carefree evening.

The first stop this evening was the hotel room he had booked for himself in the next town over. There he pulled everything out of his duffle bag and spent an hour perfecting his look. He wore head-to-toe leather – slipping on a black sleeveless button-down leather shirt, stuffing himself into low-rise skin-tight black leather pants – with a jockstrap on underneath for comfort – threading a thick belt around his waist, clamping on a chunky collar with studs around his neck and slightly slimmer ones on each wrist, and putting on knee-high black boots with platform heels to give himself even more height. He then painted his nails black, drew on an upside-down purple tear drop under each eye – making sure they were smudge and sweat-proof – stuck on a temporary skull-and-cross tattoo on his left pectoral muscle and a full sleeve with various gothic motifs on each arm, applied mascara to make his deep green eyes pop, and dark lipstick to make his lips appear bigger – and lastly he shaped his fire-engine red hair from its usual casual up-do into wild spikes.

Once his look was completed he felt snazzy and nothing was going to hold him back from having an amazing time on his twenty-sixth birthday.

He headed out, head held high and looked for a bar to get his drink of liquid courage in before he really got started. He found one not too far from the hotel – a classy looking joint with a wine cellar appeal. He sipped and enjoyed his easy-on-the-vodka strawberry lemonade vodka while he played Animal Crossing on his phone. By the end of his drink, he was delightfully buzzed, smiling like a fool and swaggering off to club Destiny down the road, a bustling hub of great beats with a slight flare of 80’s nostalgia – given the fluoro color scheme and checked floor design.

It was a place he would never be caught dead in if it wasn’t his once-a-year indulgence. It was a good thing because no-one that he knew would be here either, so he could really let loose and not worry. The low-light helped disguise him even more and the alcohol coursing through his body took his reservations away. Or it would, as soon as he got more of the good stuff into himself.

He made straight for the bar, nodding his head along to the beat, tapping his fingers to the rhythm against his thigh and then the bar top when he reached it and while he drank some of Mike’s Hard Lemonade. He felt his mood elevate even further. His hips swayed more, his head bobbed along with greater accentuation.

He turned his back to the bar, leaning against it with his elbow while he looked out into the bopping crowd. The music was pumping, and the strobe lights were shifting everything into a different plane of existence and the excitement and thrill grew in Lea. He felt the itch to get amongst it all to let the music take him away.

He was about to push off and go as he finished the last of his drink but through the noise he heard a shout of, “Hey, can I buy you a drink?”

Lea looked to his side to see a short guy with blond hair, cut and styled into a faded fohawk, addressing him. The guy was smiling up at Lea in such a lovely way that it really juxtaposed with all the tattoos covering the guy's scalp, neck, and hips. And that was just his exposed skin. He also wore a black mesh tank-top, which didn’t quite reach all the way down to the top of the snug fitting black skinny jeans he was wearing. Lea could see that the skin under the shirt was covered in tattoos as well – both arms and torso. Lea stared a little. He had never seen someone so covered before. He wondered if they were all real, or fake like his own.

The blond hopped up on a bar stool, getting himself more on eye-level with Lea, who was still leaning against the bar. The guy bent towards Lea, which made him aware of baby blue eyes and a fruity musk he thought he liked a lot.

“Dude, can I buy you a drink?” The question came again. Lea snapped out of his mesmerized trance. This guy looked so cool. He nodded.

The tattooed guy waved his hand at the barkeeper who walked over “We'll have a red-headed slut and a suck, bang, and blow, thanks,” the guy said, looking directly at Lea, smirking.

“Comin’ right up.”

Lea just stared and swallowed.

The blond guy leaned closer to Lea, his elbow pushing against Lea's arm which was resting on the bar top. “What’s a guy like you doing here all by your lonesome?”

Lea didn't understand what the insinuation was. He just said, “It’s my special night.”

“Oh? What’s special about it? It can’t just be meeting me, right?” the guy’s voice was low and alluring as he waggled his eyebrows and leaned a fraction closer.

The fruity and aromatic scent of the blond was a lot stronger now. Lea definitely liked it and took a deep whiff. “It’s my birthday.”

“Mm, really? And you're celebrating by yourself?”

“Yeah,” he nodded.

A big grin spread across the other man's face.

“Here you go.” The bartender put the drinks in front of the blond guy.

“Keep the change,” the blond guy said, not glancing away from Lea while he slapped a bill on the wooden counter. “Which one d’ya want? The red-headed slut, or the suck, bang, and blow?”

Lea’s throat felt like a desert and he leaned a little more against the bar to support himself as his knees felt like they might give out any second. “The…” he glanced at the drinks before them. They both looked really good, but he couldn’t bring himself to say… “The suck, bang, and blow,” he croaked. The smirk on the blond’s face grew. “Of course, you’d want that.” “Oh, d-do you want it? I can have the – other one.” The man chuckled slowly. “I wouldn’t mind a suck, bang, and blow, but right now I’m more into having a red-headed slut.” He licked his lips, raised his eyebrows and slid Lea’s drink to him before picking up his own.

Was this guy for real? Was he… talking about the drinks or…. Lea’s heart was racing. This guy was so thrilling and magnetic. “Thanks for the drink,” he got out as he picked up the glass.

They clinked their drinks together and the blond downed his shot. Lea’s drink was in a cocktail glass, but he tried to drink it as fast as he could, while blue eyes sparkled at him.

“Greedy, aren’t you. You like a good suck, bang, and blow, don’t you,” the blond hummed as Lead just about finished the drink.

Lea choked and coughed and put the glass back down.

“You liked it, huh,” came the smug observation.

Lea could feel himself going red. His heart was being unmanageable but he liked it too. He liked this guy in all his crude form. He nodded. “Yeah. That was really good!” It had been sweet and sour. A little tart and spicey too. “Amazing.” He looked down at his glass, wishing he could have savored it more.

The blond grinned from ear to ear. “Glad you liked it, legs. There’s more where that came from.” Lea didn’t find it in himself to be upset about being called that. “Oh no, I really can’t drink anymore.”

The blond chuckled and put his hand on Lea’s. “I don’t mean the drink. C’mon. Let’s dance.”

Lea let himself be pulled away and led onto the dancefloor. This is what he had come for. The fact that he was now attached to a total badass who made him sweat under his collar was such a treat.

The alcohol in his veins loosened Lea up and melted his guard against public ridicule. He gave himself over to the beat of the music and danced like no one was watching, while the blond with a wild smile rubbed against Lea and danced with him. Lea didn't focus on anyone or anything else other than the man before himself and the frenzied way in which he was grinding against Lea’s thigh, and how blunted fingernails slid down the fabric of his shirt and pants as they rocked against each other in a rhythm vaguely resembling the actual music being played. Their hands traveled all over each other. Lea stroked strong arms and his palm crazed against a nipple piercing he hadn’t noticed before.

A wily smirk was given to Lea and brows waggled again with a silky allure. Lea watched as the man before him stepped aside a little and began moving around Lea’s body, the blond’s hand trailing around Lea as he circled. Lea kept dancing and letting the tingle of those fingertips against his chest, sides, shoulders, backside, and groin set his nerves on fire.

The blond guy was behind him, pressing himself against Lea while his hands were running all over the front of Lea’s body. Lea slowed their pace. He began guiding the other man’s hands over his body, under his shirt, and down his pants – but not too far down. Just enough to tease himself and the guy behind him. Lea felt the other man’s face pushing kisses to his back and nuzzling into his sides as their dancing and groping continued. The nicest flutters went through Lea’s body.

Fingertips left Lea’s groin and he felt the other man’s presence suddenly descend down the back of Lea’s body. Hands went between Lea’s legs, making him spread himself open with a big step to the side. Lea looked down to see the blond’s head suddenly emerge from between his legs. The man smiled up at him, his palms traveled up Lea’s thighs as be pushed through his legs and crept up the length of Lea’s body very slowly. The blond’s face was right next to Lea’s crotch, causing Lea to cease all his swaying as he watched blue eyes gazing at him while the man’s open mouth slid over the bulge of Lea’s leaving-nothing-to-your-imagination pants. Lea gasped and panted as slow movements exerted pressure over his erection. Hands were gripping Lea’s hips tightly but continuing to move and slide up his body. The other man’s tongue came out and licked at where Lea’s head was pressed against his lower abdomen and then that ridiculously sexy mouth closed with a smirk and the man stood to his full height and reached up behind Lea’s neck.

Lea instinctively wrapped his arms around the other man, lifting him up. Strong legs spread and raised, hooking themselves on Lea’s hips and pushed the blond up. Not a word was said between them as they began kissing as if possessed. Lea’s mind was completely foggy. All he knew was that he wanted this man against him, on him, in him. A hand went into Lea’s hair, grabbing the back of his head and pulled him painfully out of the deep frenzied kiss.

“Washroom,” the blond uttered and then attacked Lea’s neck with his teeth and firm sucks, particularly around the collar.

Lea felt heady with pleasure and so obeyed the command. He quickly looked around, behind able to see over the tops of most the people dancing around them, and spotted where the washrooms were located. His legs took a bit of coaxing to get moving but he carried himself and this sexy blond bombshell over to the amenities. He didn’t know what the guy had in mind, but Lea appreciated the idea of a little more privacy in a quieter environment so they could maybe talk and kiss a little more.

Lea turned his back to the door and pushed it open. It swung shut again and muffled the sound of the beat, but it still reverberated around the room, making the wall mounted mirrors in the dimly lit space vibrate. There were several urinals and a few stalls, one of which was occupied and Lea could see two pairs of legs underneath the door space. He swallowed and stood around, not knowing what he was supposed to do now. The wet sucks on his neck stopped and vibrant azure eyes stared him right in the face.

Lea stared back as the whiter light of the washroom painted his blond companion in a clearer light. His hair was a warm blond, the untattooed patches of his skin a creamy pale color. His lips looked bruised but that was from Lea’s lipstick rubbing off on the blond. Lea leaned in and kissed the blond, sucking in air through his nose sharply and getting another intoxicating dose of that fragrance which Lea so enjoyed. The intrusive tongue and sharp nips got Lea moving again. He shuffled towards the washbasins, stopped by the hand towel receptacle, pulling some out and then went to the benchtop and began wiping while the blond kept nipping and sucking on Lea’s neck.

The blond did stop however and looked behind himself, back at Lea and gave him a confused glare. “What’re you doing?”

“Drying the bench. I don't want your ass to get all wet.”

Lips quirked. “You sure 'bout that? You making my ass wet sounds kinda perfect.”

Lea choked on his own spit.

The blond laughed, stretched up a little patting Lea’s back and breathed against Lea’s ear, “No? You sure you don’t wanna make my ass all wet? Don’t you wanna watch it drip out of me, down my balls, and thighs? Wouldn’t you wanna lick. Me. Out?” He nipped at Lea’s earlobe.

Lea let out a shaky breath, his wiping motion forgotten as both his hands were on the blond. He slid the shorter man onto the bench and stood between his legs.

The blond chuckled, leaned in and started kissing Lea’s lips, cheek, neck and along Lea’s collarbone. He stopped and looked up at the man. “You're cute, y’know – if a bit shy. C'mere legs.” The blond grabbed at the back of Lea's head and pulled him into a searing kiss with forceful sucks before releasing him. The blond then schooded forward a bit, Lea stepped back, and the other man slid off the bench and knelt onto the ground before Lea, tugging at his belts and pants.

Lea stared, speechless, aroused, overcome with heat and need. His fly was being pulled down, warm fingers fumbled and then Lea’s building erection was free.

“Mm. I see that cock of yours is proportional to you, Legs. Gonna hafta work hard to get all of you down.” The blond licks his lips and shoves Le into his mouth.

A strangled moan hitches in Lea’s throat. There is warmth and pressure and that hard bump of the tongue ring that’s massaging his slit. Lea huffs and tries not to push into the other man’s mouth. He leans his hands against the bench before him, keeping himself steady on it and tries to catch his breath. He looks around himself – their location – the cold tiles. Is the man below him okay? “Get up.” Lea pulls his hips away and his erection out of that hot mouth.

“Why?” A confused blue stare is shot upwards.

“Your knees.”

The blond chuckled. “I'm fine,” and tried to pull Lea back to himself.

Lea resisted. “No. Here—” Lea pulls the blond up, turns them around so he is where the blond was just standing and then Le slides himself up onto the bench. “This will be better for you.”

“Okay, that works too.” The blond chickled, brushes at his hair and then spreads Lea’s legs apart, sidling in and went back to work sucking on Lea’s cock.

Lea gives in to the feelings stirring in his gut and focuses on little else but that. He grabs for the blonds hair, ruffling it as the man bobs up and down. Moans and gasps escape Lea’s mouth. He feels the other man hum with pleasure against his cock, feels that tongue ring rubbing against him and slightly into him, sending tingling chills down his back. Lea lifts his face up to the ceiling as the ecstasy rises within. Fingers grip his hips, the blond between his legs is sucking harder and Lea cums with a small cry and a tightening of his grip in the blonds hair.

The sucking eases up. There comes one very hard and final suck of Lea’s head and then the blond is looking up at Lea, wiping his mouth and smiling brightly.

“That was… so good—so amazing,” Lea pants, breathless and high.

A sultry chuckle leaves the other man. “Glad you liked my suck, bang, and blow.” He winked. “I knew red-headed sluts were my favorite—I like your load, by the way. Tastes really sweet. You ever tasted yourself?”

Lea’s breath catches. “N-no.”

“Then, here. Lemme introduce you to your tang.” The blond reached up, roughly pulled Lea’s head down and smothered him with a kiss. The blond forced his tongue into Lea, which made Lea whimper. He could taste saltiness but rather than be put off by it he was turned on – despite his blissed out afterglow state.

A few deep sucks later they pulled apart. Lea is smiling from ear to ear, in a really mellow way. He feels so high. He really likes this guy. His rough edges are exciting and Lea wants more.

“My name's L—”

The blond clapped his hand in front of Lea's mouth. “What're you doing, numbnuts?” the man almost snaps and holds Lea’s attention with a sobering hard stare.

Lea pulls the hand away from his mouth. “Telling you my name?”

A repulsed look crosses the other man’s face. “I just sucked you off. I don’t need or want your name. You’re a hot piece of cock and we won't see each other again, so zip it, Legs.”

That message came like a slap in the face to Lea. It crushes something inside himself… a hope… “Oh. Okay. Do you – w-want me to…”

The blond steps out form between Lea’s legs, wiping his mouth again like he is disgusted. “You’re being a boner killer. I’m out.”

With that Lea stared after his wet dream. He was only roused out of his shock by the washroom door opening. Suddenly realizing what state he was in Axel slipped off the bench, tucked himself in, zipped himself up and stood embarrassed by the washbasin, washing his hands. He looked at himself in the mirror, straightening out his clothes and brushing his hair into place.

His orgasm still pulsed through his body ever so faintly. He didn’t know what he wanted to do. The night was still young but… after that spectacular time… maybe he was done.

He wandered back out into the club, looking around to see if he could spy the blond anywhere. After a while of having no such luck he left to go to his hotel room, where he soaked in the tub and scrubbed off all evidence of his wild night out.

----------------------------

Lea arrived home in the late afternoon, dressed in his normal, everyday clothes. He walked into the house and was about to head up the stairs to his room when Sora’s voice rang out, “Lea! Lea! C'mere.”

Sora, full of energy, came bounding up to Lea, grabbed his arm and dragged him to the lounge as he chatted a mile a minute, “How was your birthday? Did you have an amazing time?” They went down the hall and turned right through the archway to the comfortable living room where two old, brown lounges stood around a central entertainment unit with television, consoles, and speakers. “I want to introduce you to my cousin, Roxas! Roxas, this is Lea. Remember how I told you he works at an animal shelter?”

Sora halted them beside the lounge. Everyone else was standing and sitting around; Riku, Kairi, Demyx, Naminé and—

Sora was still talking but Lea didn't hear him. Before him, sitting on the lounge was blond mesh-top sex bomb, albeit dressed less provocatively in baggy, dark blue shorts, long sleeved white hoodie with black and white checkered sleeves, and matching sneakers.

“R-Roxas?” Axel got out in shock.

The corner of the blond's lip cocked up in a sneer. “Lea,” seeped out of that talented mouth in a dry drawl.

“Oh? You two met already?” Sora quizzes.

“Y—”

“No,” Roxas cut through and glared sheer death at Lea. “I’m gonna unpack. Call me when dinner’s ready.” Roxas stood and shoved right past Lea on his way out of the living room and into the hallway to go upstairs to his room.

Lea stared after the small spunky package also known as… Roxas. “That’s your cousin?” “Yeah. I don’t know why he’s being so pissy. He was fine a minute ago—I’ll help him unpack.” Sora dashed off after his cousin.

Lea stared after him, dazed and confused. That had been… that was definitely suck, bang, and blow guy. Lea had to live with him now? He wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

#akuroku #akrk #woeful wip wednesday #wip #cream pudding writes

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creamypudding · 2 years

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Woeful WIP Wednesday

Oh boy, I am excited about sharing this AkuRoku WIP. It is one of the most recent things I have started back in July of 2021. It is pandemic based - Axel and Roxas are locked in together and while they never really hung out before they are definitely getting aquainted with each other now because of the global circumstances. The POV jumps around a bit. I had serious struggles kicking this story off and while I haven’t looked at it since August my memory is that I was disatisfied with the order of events, so whenever I finish this WIP it might start very differently. I stopped writing this fic as I was getting closer to writing the smut. I still want to finish it. I know how it’s supposed to go. I just had a huge dump of demotivation and I’m still kind of swimming in a general malaise but also feeling like I’m starting to come out of it a little. Anyway, this is a fun story and I do hope to finish it sooner rather than later.

Rated E Word count - 4343 If you enjoy this, or any of the other WIP’s it would be great if you would let me know. Cheers.

Work from Home

It's the middle of the workday. The three monitors on Axel’s desk each have multiple windows up which display call lists, spreadsheets, and analysts marketing data. He can’t concentrate on any of that right now. For one, it’s too hot, and secondly there is too much thumping and shouting going on in the living room next door.

Axel gets off his expensive office chair and shuffles to his bedroom door, which he pries open a sliver.

The living room lies beyond: the sofa is pushed against the wall, the TV is on, displaying a crowd of people, who mimic and try to follow along with the carefully choreographed workout routine that Axel’s flatmate, Roxas, is currently demonstrating.

He’s jumping, clapping, waving his arms about. “High kick, high kick. Looking good, gang! Keep it up! Pivot, lunge. One, two, one, two, three, four, five!”

Roxas is puffing. His tiny blue crop top is two shades darker and clings to his chest from sweat. The matching cotton booty shorts hug his juicy ass as he bends down and springs up again.

Axel silently shuts the door and moves to his bed. Sitting, with his legs spread apart and his feet on the floor, he pushes his business shirt aside and the front of his underwear down. The strained erection pops free. Axel reaches for his bedside stand, gets out the half-full bottle of lubricant, slathers himself in it, and wacks off as he listens to Roxas’ shouts of encouragement.

“Looking great, team. Keep up the amazing work! You’ve got this! Just a little bit more. C’mon! I know you can do this! Just. A. Little. Further.”

Axel’s body tingles. His jerks become hectic. Huffs and puffs leave him. All that’s in his mind’s eye is Roxas’ booty in those shorts. Roxas’ abs. Sweat dripping from his nose and hair. The way his skin looks damp. Axel wants that juicy ass pounding against him. He wants Roxas pressed against him, breathless and fulfilled.

Needy release builds up and tightens his stomach. Axel sweats and only gets hotter with every passing second as he pumps his shaft in full for a few quick strokes. He tenses and eases his grip every so often, focuses on his head, then back on his entire shaft as he imagines fucking that fuckable ass. There is a clear picture in his head of Roxas swallowing him down and humming with bottomless enthusiasm around his cockhead.

Strained breaths leave Axel. He’s so close. He blindly gropes for the gym sock he’s been saving for this moment, finds it, slips the end over his cock and groans with his orgasm, spilling into the used piece of clothing.

“Well done, gang!” Comes Roxas’ breathy praise.

“Thank you, thank you,” Axel mutters and falls back against his bed to recover from his unique form of exercise. The high is divine but it doesn’t rid him of the shame he feels every time he’s driven to doing this.

Not for the first, or the last time, he wonders to himself how he ever got himself into such a predicament.

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It had been close to two months ago when the world as they knew it had gone to shit. Axel hadn’t been affected except in the sense of doing all his business dealings online from the comfort of his home. A perfect ideal, really.

Axel’s flatmate, however, hadn’t been quite as lucky.

The change happened slowly as the government officials scrambled to make heads and tales of the whole situation. Axel never had many dealings with Roxas as they both tended to work late and didn’t cross paths all too often, but as the world grappled with the changing situation Axel saw his flatmate a lot more often and when he did they exchanged some words.

“How are you holding up?” Axel said as casually as possible.

“Yeah… not too bad. We’re down to ten in a group.”

Which turned into—

“These restrictions are so stupid. We’re only allowed five in a group now.”

Then—

“Still five, but all our exercises have been moved to the outdoor gym.”

And eventually—

“Two. Two isn’t even a group. That’s like personal training. The energy’s all gone. It’s hard to stay positive. They’re talking about shutting everything down next week.”

The inevitable happened—

“We’ve been shut down. I’ve been put on indefinite unpaid leave.”

And that sent Roxas into a downward spiral that became unavoidable to notice. The dishes began to pile up. As did the laundry. Roxas no longer prepared fresh meals, so Axel turned to ordering take-out to be delivered.

Roxas became a recluse in his bedroom.

Worried, Axel knocked on the man’s door.

“My dude, you look like shit,” Axel said when faced with Roxas’ pale, pasty skin. There had been rings under his eyes, and his hair stuck up every which way.

Roxas scowled at him. “What do you want?”

“It’s my civic duty to check up on you.”

“Still alive.” Roxas turned and stalked back to his bed, where he lay down heavily.

Axel decided to follow him into the dark, musty room. Trying to be encouraging, he said, “Things will get back to normal, eventually.”

“How long will that take though? I have bills to pay. What’s going to happen to the rent?”

“I earn enough to cover that.”

“You’re also paying for all the food though. What happens when the electricity and water bills come in?” Roxas said with strained panic in his voice. “I need to work. I need a job. I need to earn money. I fucking can’t though. I’m stuck here. I can’t even look for another job because everything’s shut down.” A squeak left Roxas and he pressed the heels of his palm against his eyes and rubbed.

That started Axel off on spouting a long list of possible solutions, which Roxas rejected, until they hit on the possibility of setting up an online studio.

Axel got caught up in the excitement and offered to help Roxas write up a business plan to propose to his employers. “I can also help you set up all your social media platforms”—as Roxas for some unknown reason didn’t have any—“so you can start marketing yourself and become independent from the man!”

Roxas’ whole demeanor had changed by the end of their discussion. He sat upright, and even got up to pace around with a bounce in his step, while he spoke with increasing speed and energy about what he could do with his existing groups. He stopped and looked over at Axel. “You’d really help me with all of this stuff?”

“Yeah. Sure. Why not? Helping people achieve financial independence is my dream. If you can get your work to agree to this then you’ll get access to all your clientele and you can then promote your personal business and steal the gym’s customer base.”

“Isn’t that, like… illegal?”

“It’s called capitalism and marketing, baby. They are your customers already anyway. It’s just they pay the gym instead of you directly.”

Roxas nodded along. “A few of the ladies asked me how they could keep in touch with me if we were to shut down.” Roxas grunted. “Man, I wish I had, like… thought about all this stuff before now.”

“Don’t sweat it. Let’s work on this business plan and then you can work on sniping and stealing your clientele back from the clutches of the corporate machine.”

The big grin on Roxas’ face, and the returned color in his cheeks, gave Axel a flutter in his gut and a rush in his veins.

“Thank you so much. I really underestimated you.”

“Never do that again.” Axel got up, patted Roxas on the shoulder, and strode off. “C’mon to my room in five minutes. I’ll set up a basic business plan for you and we can fill it out together.”

And that was how Roxas had gotten himself out of his funk, and his at-home work environment set up by the following week.

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Roxas working from home changes everything for Axel. For one, Axel is very proud of Roxas, and happy to have been able to help. They had to negotiate and make timetables because Axel can’t have Roxas holding his group exercise classes in the middle of business meetings, and luckily Roxas had been very agreeable about the whole thing.

“I can’t thank you enough for how you’ve helped me. I’ll do what I can to help you back.”

So Roxas returned to doing the dishes and the laundry and had more enthusiasm to get back to cooking meals. He is very agreeable and Axel appreciates having a happy flatmate but what he didn’t bargain for is how sickeningly adorable and feverishly sexy Roxas can be.

Axel never saw Roxas in his work outfits until he started holding his sessions at home. Axel regrets having known Roxas for half a year before this revelation, and also curses that he now knows about the crop tops and ridiculously tiny shorts.

He asked Roxas about the attire once.

“It’s comfortable for me and my groups like it.”

Axel barely contained his, “I can see why.”

“Does it make you uncomfortable?”

“No,” he’s quick to rebuke. “The opposite, really.” Maybe too quick.

A twitch lifts the corner of Roxas’ lip. “The opposite?”

Axel’s brain starts working again. “I mean, it’s just, it’s fine. I don’t care. It doesn’t bother me at all. I don’t see you working out much anyway.” A point Axel laments but downplays with a dismissive wave of his hand.

“Oh. Okay. All is good then.”

That conversation still plays on Axel’s mind occasionally. Roxas had looked disappointed. But Axel thinks it’s his own personal perception about the whole event. The way the ladies gush about Roxas, and the way Roxas teases and flirts back with his group makes him think that Roxas is really very straight. But then Axel’s head also screams at him about no straight man wearing what Roxas wears. And then Axel sometimes also catches Roxas flirting with the few guys in his group, which makes Axel think that maybe Roxas is just oblivious and generally friendly.

It leaves Axel confused and he tries to avoid going out of his bedroom while Roxas is still plugged in and chatting to his groups, for as much as 10 minutes after the sessions have officially ended.

He can still hear the banter and flirting and giggles though. And he gets jealous. Boy, does he ever. Especially when he can hear male voices. But he isn’t sure that Roxas would welcome his advancements and he doesn’t want to make things awkward between them, so Axel keeps fapping during his breaks while Roxas works out. It’s a sad and lonely arrangement, but it works.

Until it doesn’t.

One day, there is a knock on Axel’s door.

“Yes, come in.”

Predictably, it’s Roxas. Axel curses his luck despite the fact that he should be grateful that Roxas sports baggier shorts than usual.

“Hey, I have a strange question to ask you.”

Axel swivels his chair around. He wonders if Roxas, by any chance, wants to know if he’s down to fuck. The answer would of course be, “Yes. Go on.”

Roxas averts his eyes. “You really don’t wear pants ever when you’re working, huh?”

Axel looks down at himself where his shirt pools around his groin. “It’s too hot and no one sees me.”

“Well, I see you.” Roxas locks eyes with Axel.

Unsure whether or not Roxas finds the no=pants situation hot or not, Axel crosses his legs. “Is that what you came in here to talk about?” He cocks a brow.

“Oh. N-no. Sorry. Ah… you can wear whatever you want.”

“I know. I am.”

A meek smile graces Roxas’ lips and his brows scrunch together. He clears his throat. “So, uh… what I wanted to ask you is that.. Well, some people in my group have been asking about you—because they see you walking past sometimes. And keep asking me if you could join us. So, I guess, I’m wondering if you wouldn’t mind”—Roxas rubs his upper arm and has trouble holding eye contact—“helping me out in a group or two?”

The news is very unexpected. Axel’s first reaction is to recoil. But Roxas asking him is cute, and he’s certainly intrigued. “How exactly would I be helping you out?”

“So, I was thinking you could help me with the novice classes. I can teach you all the basic moves so the beginners could follow along with you, while I demonstrate the more challenging and advanced moves. This would really help me reach a larger audience because I have a higher dropout rate for those just joining and I think it’s because things look really advanced for them—”

Roxas continues to rattle off the pros and benefits of Axel helping out. He proposes a cut of the profits.

When Roxas falls silent, having finished his spiel, Axel takes the opportunity to speak up. “Let me get this straight. You want to basically hire me to work in your company.”

“Yeah. I guess I do. How about it?” A hopeful, teeth-baring smile flashes.

The look is contagious. Being wanted by Roxas—even like this—is making Axel hot. He tries to play it cool: stretches out his legs, and folds his arms behind his head. The business shirt rides up.

Roxas blinks rapidly, his eyes wander, but snap back to stare solely into Axel’s eyes.

The smile on Axel’s face deepens a fraction. “I’m proud of you, you know? Your sales pitch was good, but you could strengthen it and use more examples.” He lists off more ways for Roxas to improve, partly because he’s impressed, but largely to stall. It only goes so far and he runs out of steam.

“Thanks for that feedback. I’ll take in on board, but what about the actual pitch? Did I stick a landing with it?”

The idea of exercising appalls Axel, 100%, but the lure of getting to see Roxas without taking stealthy, sneaky looks during his breaks, is awfully appetizing. As if having an out-of-body experience, Axel hears himself say, “Yeah. Sure. Why not.”

“Really? Seriously? You would?” Roxas’ eyes opened wider with each word and his whole face sparkles with joy.

Warmth flares and fans in the pit of Axel’s stomach. He’s probably going to regret this, but he’s in too deep now. Through a chuckle, he says, “Yeah. Really. Couldn’t do me any harm, right?”

Roxas nods. “Would do you some good, really.” The wholesome expression flees and gets replaced by a sinister smirk.

“What’s that s’posed to mean?”

Roxas’ eyes trail and pull Axel’s attention to his gut. Working at home for so long hasn’t been kind to him. He sits up straight and sucks it in. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

A far kinder, albeit still cheeky, expression washes over Roxas and he begins to talk about the logistics of the whole endeavor. Before half an hour has gone by Axel is alone in his room once more with the reality of what he’s agreed to coming into full bloom.

“Ah, fuck.”

----------------------------------------

Before Roxas can get Axel ready to take the stage with him in front of his clientele, there is prep work that needs to be done. They organize for an afternoon where Roxas runs Axel through the basic moves of the cardio and yoga classes he’ll be running.

Axel comes out of his room with sweatpants on and a baggy band shirt.

“Nice to see you remember how to wear pants.” He smirks, bemused.

Axel strikes a pose with his long legs in a lunge. “Just because I don’t wear them doesn’t mean I don’t know how, baby.”

The giddy laugh falls out of Roxas. He clears his throat and tries to take his mind off how much he’s looking forward to this. “If you have shorts I think you should put them on. It’s going to get hot.” The fan is already on but the summer heat and humidity are stifling. Roxas can hardly wait until he’s saved up enough money to buy a portable air conditioner unit—tax-deductible of course since he’s working from home now, a point he is eternally grateful for.

“I don’t have any exercise clothes but I did order some. It should arrive before the weekend. But if it gets too hot I can always strip up.” A smarmy smirk curls the corner of Axel’s mouth.

Roxas breathes down the flutter and focuses. “Don’t do that. I’ve got some baggy shorts I can lend you.”

“Define baggy. I’ve never seen you wear anything that doesn't—” Axel licks his lips. He strides past Roxas and stands before the fan. “Let’s stop talking and let’s start moving.” He swings his arms in some sort of an attempt to limber up and turns around to face Roxas again.

Roxas pulls his gaze off Axel’s backside and starts getting into the basic exercise routine with Axel—a sped-up version of it where explains and demonstrates the moves, and also shows Axel the advanced moves he’ll be doing. He has to keep repeating the steps because for some reason Axel bungles up his moves or just stands there, staring.

“Axel. Hey! Axel! Are you listening?” He steps close to Axel and snaps his fingers right in front of the other man’s face.

Axel comes out of his daze and stammers an apology.

It happens several more times, especially when Roxas does any sort of floor routine.

“Maybe this wasn’t a good idea,” Roxas mutters.

“C’mon, now. I’m just learning. I’ll get it. I’ll focus.”

And Axel does get better at following along with the instructions Roxas gives out.

“How do you think you’ll go?” Roxas asks at the end of it all.

Axel’s standing there, his shirt clinging to him, and a nice sheen to his skin. His breath is puffy. “I don’t know. if you’ll want me in your workout. I feel like. I’ll just slow you down.” He puffs out a heavy breath.

“This is good. You’re very authentically unfit and it will inspire everyone else to do better.” He grins up at Axel and the way that bright, robust laugh rings out of the other man makes Roxas smile all the harder.

“Glad to be of service. I think… I’m gonna go shower now.”

“Hey,” Roxas calls out and Axel turns back around with a faint hum. “Thanks again for doing this with me. Thanks for being so accommodating.”

Axel waves it off and leaves for the bathroom.

Roxas turns his attention to his laptop and equipment to get things ready for the session that’s supposed to start in 20 minutes. He fiddles with the camera connections and cues up the playlist, but his thoughts are on Axel the entire time.

Since lockdown began his view of his flatmate’s completely and drastically changed. He’ll happily admit to himself that he’s got a crush. Just a small one. Axel’s a lazy ass who does exactly zero around the house, but he also believes in him and is helping him with the business side of things. Axel having shown any interest or care in his predicament had been a complete surprise. Roxas tells himself it was only so Axel didn’t have to pay all the bills by himself, but a small part of him likes to just imagine that maybe his flatmate isn’t self-absorbed.

He gets pulled out of his thoughts as his first client dials in and then it’s showtime for Roxas. He feels energized and limber from the practice run he had with Axel. Recollecting that brightens his smile and gives him extra energy during his session.

----------------------------------------

The weekend has arrived. Roxas feels nervous and hopes the whole endeavor will go well. He’s run Axel through the basic moves a couple more times and considering that Roxas will be doing both versions and Axel just has to follow his lead, not too much should go wrong.

That is until Axel saunters out of his bedroom with his newly purchased workout gear. Roxas blinks and stares. The first thing he notices are the knee-high socks, then the long, sleeveless shirt, which hangs around his mid-thigh. It makes Axel look like he’s not wearing any pants. Maybe… he isn’t?

Something bubbles in Roxas’ throat. He isn’t sure what sound wants to come out. He’s stuck somewhere between a mortified scream and hysterical laughter. It merges into a cough. “Do you have anything on underneath?”

Axel lifts the side of the shirt. Roxas is ready to glance away, but black bike shorts are revealed.

“God, you scared me.”

Axel laughs. “Relax. I won’t do anything to embarrass you.”

“But you have knee-high socks on and a hairband.” He cocks a brow with a pointed stare.

“Embarrass you too much, okay?” A devious grin plumps Axel’s cheeks.

He looks utterly ridiculous and Roxas wants to rip that shirt off him, but for a different reason. He swallows the thick lump and wonders if he’s in trouble. His shorts already feel too tight. He kind of wishes he had a long tank top to cover himself up with. He ignores it. Once he gets into the exercise zone he knows he’ll be okay.

As the first of his clientele log on, his mind goes to what is important. He introduces Axel, who quickly begins to joke with the ladies about his headband, and then they are all off, going through the program Roxas has set up.

The music pumps, they are all bouncing. Roxas shows the basic moves that Axel continues on with while he kicks it up a notch for his more experienced trainees. It feels really nice to be doing this next to another person. The screens always leave him with a feeling of disconnect that gets highlighted to him as he’s working out with Axel next to him.

It’s not all smooth sailing. They bump into each other. Roxas needs to reign in his movements as he doesn’t have as much space now that he’s sharing the living room with Axel. The clashes they have make everyone, including themselves, laugh, which adds a layer of friendliness. Roxas really likes that. He also likes to stand behind Axel to give both of them a little more space. When Axel bends over, especially during the stretches, the shirt rides up and shows off his ass. Seeing it makes Roxas want to squeeze him tight. That desire, coupled with the lowering of his heart rate as they cool down, leaves Roxas in danger of getting himself into an uncomfortable predicament so he steps forward, next to Axel, and shares the space with him there.

He maintains banter with everyone, checking in with how everyone’s faring, including Axel, and then the session is over, and the camera is off.

Axel’s still sprawled on the floor with a heavy rise and fall to his chest.

“That went really well, don’t you reckon?” Roxas looks down with a stoop in his back as he braces against his knees.

“Yeah,” Axel puffs. “Great. Just. Great.”

“Ready to do it all again in half an hour?”

A groan leaves Axel and he rolls onto his stomach. “Remind me to travel back in time and not accept this torture.”

“It’s not so bad. You’ll get heaps fit. Start of next month, you won’t even be winded.”

Axel blows out a loud snort.

----------------------------------------

Axel helps out every weekend. Roxas gets favorable reviews and Axel’s doing better with keeping up and not being completely wasted by the end of each session. It seems like each week Axel has a new outfit to show off and as he’s growing in confidence his clothes no longer seem so ill-fitting.

Roxas ogles and stares—as discreetly as possible—every time Axel bends over. The cooldown and stretches easily become Roxas’ favorite aspect of their workouts together. He’s not sure what to do about it. Whether or not to ask Axel out. He doesn’t want to make things awkward between them. He can’t afford to as they are stuck at home together for an indeterminable amount of time, and some of his livelihood depends on Axel being there for him.

He keeps his lusting feelings close to his chest and ekes out his desires in his hand when he showers. Roxas tells himself he’s imagining things when he thinks he can see Axel stare at him. He must be imaging the bulge in Axel’s shorts. The lighting’s just playing tricks.

It’s, however, harder to ignore the teasing he gets from his clients—the ones he’s close to. They talk to him about Axel on days Axel isn’t around to hear it, thankfully. They start asking when the wedding will be, given how enamored Axel seems with him.

“He’s always staring at you.”

“That’s because he’s following along with what I’m doing.”

“Following your butt.”

Others agree with amused sounds and nods.

“You really think he likes me?”

“Remember when you wore that sparkly outfit? Just because you had rhinestones on your ass doesn't make it anyone's business to look at your ass as much as he did that day.”

Like with the flick of a switch, Roxas can see. Axel is friendly. Much friendlier than he’d been in the past. They sit together watching shows when there is some free time on the weekends. Axel’s arm is always draped over the back, right behind him. Roxas wears his short jean shorts around the house one day. Axel excuses himself or busies himself, especially when Roxas decides to bend over.

It grows a smirk on his face and a head in his stomach. Maybe his group’s are onto something. That is an exciting prospect.

Roxas doesn’t want to damage the good thing he’s got going, but he also wants to take a risk. If this year’s taught him anything it’s that he needs to put himself out there and work for what he wants. Axel is in his sights.

#akuroku #akrk #cream pudding writes #woeful wip wednesday #wip

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creamypudding · 3 years

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Woeful WIP Wednesday

Hi! This is the start of my Woeful WIP Wednesday series of posts which will happen on Wednesdays, duh. And before anyone gets up at me about it not being Wednesday yet... just remember time zones exist in this world, and yeah, it is actually Wednesday.

Other things about the name... Most of these WIPs I'm happy with so it's not the actual stories that are woeful. It's the fact that they are still WIPs and not finished that is woeful to me, hence the name, yeah? Ok 😄

So with that out of the way...

I've gone through all my folders and found the various bits and pieces of writing I've begun and let slide or abandoned. My hope is that by letting them be free on Tumblr I might either A) remember that these stories exist, B) perhaps get a renewed appreciation and motivation to poke them, C) give myself permission to never look at them again.

Some of these WIPs I 100% mean to finish one day. Some I know I won't. Some I have actually finished but haven't polished completely or something's getting in the way of me doing a final pass so I don't consider them worthy of going onto my Ao3 account just yet but hopefully will one day.

The WIPs I'm gonna upload are also of various lengths. I have some completed chapters that are thousands of words long, I have some that are mere hundreds of words long and are slips of ideas I started to formulate.

I have 10 AkuRoku WIPs and 6 Zakkura ones. Each week I'll post one WIP and the pattern will be 2 AkuRoku WIPs followed by 1 Zakkura to mix things up a bit. I'll blab a bit about the WIP and post the full WIP under the cut.

If there is anything in particular people would like to know about the stories or the creative process in future posts please let me know and I’ll incorporate more information if people are interested in that sort of thing. If you give me direction I can follow through.

I hope you will enjoy these WIPs and I trust you'll judge them way less harshly than what I judge my own writing.

So anyway, kicking things off I have a very short and sweet AkuRoku WIP.

I started this in May 2019 and it's technically 'done' but I haven't posted it because it's not done to my specific level of 'done-ness'. All it needs is a little polish. A little editing here and there. Fixing the grammatical and spelling errors, and fleshing it out in a few spots perhaps.

It's the 'fleshing out' bit that hasn't happened and that's truly stopping me from considering this a finished product.

This story is called ‘10 ways to fall in love’ but I never came up with 10 scenarios which I suspect is why this story will never be finished. I could change the name of it and if I ever post it I will change the name of it. In fact, most of the WIPs I post would have different names if they ever do go up on Ao3.

But going back to this specific WIP— it is a canon story spanning Days, KH2, KH3, and after, which is maybe the biggest culprit in regards to why I never finished this story. I don’t do well with canon-based story telling. It’s too much pressure to get everything canon-compliant. Do people ask for things to be right? Probably not so much, but my brain is very hyperfocused on getting things right, which is a huge road block to my creativity and the reason why I prefer AUs.

I don't have much else to say about this story but if you enjoy this, or any of the other WIP’s it would be great if you would let me know.

If others are passionate about these stories it might make me passionate about them again. But who knows.

Rated G

Word count - 951

10 ways to fall in love

What do you call it?

This feeling I have?

Love?

No. Too strong, or not strong enough

A name

A special name

Your name

It was always your name

That made me feel like I had a heart

They didn’t have a name for it. They didn’t even know if what they felt was real because how could a Nobody feel anything. For Axel it was just a ghost of a memory of his old life. For Roxas it was an endless source of confusion because these strange sensations fluttered in his body all the time when he was around Axel. It was incredibly dull at first but grew exponentially bigger with the passing days.

He couldn’t reconcile that even the most tedious missions were made fun when they were around each other - though he shouldn’t be able to have fun without a heart. What were any of the experiences that ever happened between them, without a heart? They felt nothing. They were Nobodies. They couldn't be anything other than empty husks.

That had always been the greatest lie which had been told to them, which they chose to believe, until it became impossible, though the denial sat rife in the way they denied their joy, sadness, and anger. But the strongest denial flowed from the warmth and nameless affections that fluttered in the chest and stomach when they were together. Such a thing was most unbelievable of all and merely a figment of the imagination - a vestige of when they were Somebodies, a quiet echo in a vast nothingness of their actual existence. Even for Roxas, with his half-formed ideas of his Somebodies life.

But none of these things mattered because Roxas disappeared and Axel died.

"He made me feel like I had a heart." A quiet whisper of a thought, made real and said aloud finally crumbled the paper-thin veneer which Axel had clung too, all too late to do anything about.

And he is reborn, and now knows better. Lea knows better. He understands his returned heart which aches and bleeds broken and shattered even as it is physically whole inside himself, pumping blood. His soul has gone, reappearing for fleeting moments when he sees Sora get a certain look in his eyes, or uses a turn of phrase. A spark exists and it jolts Lea every time closer to awareness - closer to a name.

And then he is in that most miserable of places, fighting a war that might never be won, but he must try because the promise of what lies ahead if he does win is worth every risk. He fights for his friends, present and gone, and then out of almost nowhere Lea's heart is returned and whole and stronger than ever before, and his memories are back, and he holds the two people most dear to him. He cannot lose them again and does everything in his power to protect them both, and it is a safe feeling because it stops him from thinking too hard or feeling too strongly the flutters and warmth, and the soothing in his heart.

But he feels it all again, and let's himself be overcome by it as the never-setting sun of Twilight Town is observed with his most favorite people in the whole wide world sitting next to him.

He scooches a little closer, seeking the warmth and reassurance of Roxas next to him. The tinkling laugh builds his own and drips deep down into his body and soul to become the best sound he's always known to miss.

Happiness engulfs him. But it is not the word he looks for when he sees Roxas walking, talking, laughing, grumbling, and eating ice cream. It is so much bigger and all-encompassing than this miniscule word for a feeling..

"I never stopped wanting you back. I never stopped fighting to get you back," he confesses in the evening on Destiny Island, during a rare moment alone on this summer vacation full of reunions and happy tidings.

"I know. I saw, I heard."

"You did?"

Roxas nods and swings his legs as they dangle off the pier the both of them at sitting on.

It warms Lea’s heart to know Roxas was never far away. “I think I felt you – there in Sora. When he got angry and frustrated.”

Roxas laughs. “I was always angry and frustrated in Sora. Everything felt so warm and fluffy inside of there.”

“Realy? Why would that make you angry?”

“Because it’s like eating nothing but honey – you get sick of it,” Roxas shakes his head, “But it’s worse because someone else is force-feeding it to you.”

"It's ok. Just seeing you – knowing you were there wanting to get me back was enough." Roxas leans, Lea receives and the feels which are always right there, in the middle of his chest ignite and burn so bright.

"I'm sorry I couldn't do anything to help you."

Lea hugs him tight, almost too tight. Roxas writhes against his arms and just as Lea makes to let go Roxas gets his own arms around Lea and squeezed him, robbing him of his breath for a few seconds, but Lea feels he could happily die in Roxas' arms and savors the crush.

They both end up laughing against each other, inhaling deep breaths, rubbing their cheeks against each other and leaning their foreheads together.

Everything they ever felt for each other is still there, but stronger, because they have hearts and acceptance of their reality.

"Axel," Roxas' breath tickles Lea's lips. He doesn't care to correct Roxas. Roxas could call him a heartless and he wouldn't care because Roxas is back and with him.

"I don't want you to ever disappear again," Lea murmurs.

"I don't want you to ever suffer again," Roxas apologizes.

Lea cups Roxas' cheek, which is so soft and warm. "I never will as long as you're with me."

#woeful wip wednesday #akuroku #akrk #cream pudding writes #wip #probably mostly finished

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creamypudding · 3 years

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Woeful WIP Wednesday

This WIP is an interesting one because a friend commissioned me to write this AkuRoku story, and I did, but I got horribly stuck on it and canned the entire idea. I rewrote the whole fic into what is now called ‘Coming For You’ which is a stellar read and is over on my AO3 page. This WIP is basically unrecognisable if you are familiar with ‘Coming for You’. The character names are the same and that’s about it. I will post this WIP of the ‘what came before’ version because it holds a story I think is still worth telling. Albeit a far longer and more complex story than the version I ended up going with. I say it’s ‘wroth telling’ but the truth is that I’m not sure the direction it’s supposed to take. I got bogged down in writing it - too focused on stupid minute details and too wrapped up in developing the characters and the unfolding relationship when my heart wasn’t really in it to begin with.

I know what Axel and Roxas both do for a living - what Axel’s dreams are, and he has a great backstory for Roxas to discover. I know the general story progression but have no clear end in sight. And frankly.... it’s probably also not very interesting as there are no real hurdles for either of them to overcome. The whole point of the story was for them to have sex in the library. I made it too complex for myself though. It looked to turn into a multi-chaptered fic but again with no real substance to the next few chapters so I didn’t feel like continuing on with writing this. Oh, I also wrote this in past tense but then got so horribly stuck on it - especially as I abandoned this for ages while I wrote The Anomaly - that when I came back to it I literally couldn’t figure out how to think in past tense anymore so I rewrote what I had into present tense. That was a struggle all of it’s own and probably partially the reason why I fell out of love with this story. So I have the first chapter all done and dusted which you can read below. They were going to keep getting to know each other and they end up fucking in the library one day and that was gonna be the end. There were several directions I thought of taking it in, all not very interesting.

I may come back to this WIP one day, but I’m pretty sure that what I have written is all there ever will be. I’m pretty damn happy with ‘Coming for You’ so I am ok with leaving this WIP. It served its purpose and let me move onto much greater things.

Rated G Word count - 2759 If you enjoy this, or any of the other WIP’s it would be great if you would let me know. Cheers.

Library

It's a busy day at the Twilight State College library: students checking in and checking out books by the dozen, shelves need stacking, queries need to be heard and dealt with. Roxas is one of three librarians working, so there is a lot to do regarding the customer-facing side, but also at the admin and backhouse end of things. New monthly inventory need to be sorted, catalogued, and classified. Information needs updating in the directory and Roxas has his own research.

He likes his job, but it certainly proves stressful at times, juggling all the demands placed on him.

When he gets some reprieve from walking around helping students, and manning the front desk, he sits at his desk, which is still in the main part of the library, near the front desk, and easily accessible to students who might need support. Roxas tries to focus on his database duties and his research project, but oftentimes he gets disturbed by a meek, ”Excuse me, would you happen to know…" That question plasters an automatic smile on his face, he robotically takes off his reading glasses, and helps whoever is before him.

He’s there to help, yes, but if he gets disturbed too often he finds irritation welling up inside. The smile becomes a little more forced, his response delivered through slightly grit teeth.

The first time the tall, lean, redhead—dressed in a simple black shirt, with an unbuttoned red flannel shirt over the top, and sporting a small upside down teardrop tattoo under each eye, And his hair pulled into a high ponytail—addresses Roxas he stares dumbly, blinking in stupor.

“Pardon?”

“Could you show me how to search for books? I’m new to TSC. The system looks a little different from what I’m used to.” “Yeah, sure. Let’s go to a terminal and I’ll help you.” Roxas gets up, grabs his reading glasses and follows the exceptionally tall student to one of the free terminals on one of the rows of tables at the center of the first floor of the library.

Roxas helps him navigate the libraries catalogue, instructing from over the guys shoulder, and pointing at things on the screen.

“Thanks!” “You’re welcome.” Roxas leaves him after an exchange of smiles and goes back to his desk and his work.

Time passes. Roxas’ attention scatters whenever he catches sight of red in his periphery. He watches the student from before come and go between the aisles of bookshelves and the computer terminals.

The redhead also approaches Roxas a handful of other times, asking various things and then—

“Where are the bathrooms?” “There’s one on the first floor, if you head back to the main entrance. There’s also one at the far end,” he points, “up on the second floor.” “Thanks.” They share another smile—a little bit long, the redhead's smile deepening a fraction before he saunters off—and Roxas really likes it. He feels kind of warm inside and wonders if the A/C is working right.

He returns to his work: catching up with his colleagues to see what needs to be done; packing away books this time around, which takes up a good hour.

He's on the second floor with his cart fresh out of the return chute when he hears—

“Oh hey, um, I’m looking for this book, but can’t find it. Could you help me? I tried looking on the shelf, but it’s not there.”

Roxas knows that voice by now. He’s already wearing a smile as he turns around to meet the redhead's gaze. “Let me have a look?”

The student hands Roxas the card he’s written the dewey decimal number on. Roxas leaves his cart behind and goes to the aisle and shelf in question, in the back, by the last row of bookshelves where the corner of the library opens up to floor to ceiling windows, providing a 180° view of the college grounds; looking out over a green field with a pond. The highway cuts through the hillside and cars drive up and down it.

"I've never been in a cool library like this. It's got the best view," the redhead comments.

"Yeah. This is my favorite spot." This shared enjoyment leaves a cozy feeling inside Roxas. He turns back to the shelves, looking for the book in question, cross-referencing the slip of paper with the numbers on the spines.

Typical, Roxas figures it should be a book on the highest shelf. "Excuse me a moment." Roxas leaves to get the stepladder from the cart and returns.

"Oh, that's cute," comes the comment from behind as Roxas unclaps it and get up on the third step so he can comfortably browse the shelf.

He stays focused on the task, searching for the book in question, working hard on ignoring the head hair and warmth that pops up at his right. The guy comes up to about his shoulder.

“I already looked here.”

Roxas looks down at the student, noticing the way the corners of his mouth twitch, as if struggling to bite down a smile.

After a forlorn glance back at the shelter Roxas gets off the ladder and folds it up again. “It said the book was available?” “Yep.” “Maybe it got returned but not packed away yet. Come with me, I’ll have a look on the cart.”

“Thank you.”

Roxas is back at his cart, slipping the stepladder back in its proper place and looks through the pile of books on the top, which he had ordered neatly before coming up here to pack them away. “Ah, here it is.” He hands the medical textbook over, along with the slip of paper. He receives a giant smile which makes his cheeks prickle with heat.

“Thank you so much for all your help today.” “You’re welcome.”

With that, they part ways.

Roxas continues on, returning the books to their proper position, smiling to himself and pausing, smiling all the harder as he holds a hardback medical text bound in dazzling red.

He eventually heads to the staff elevator, swiping his card, and pushing the cart inside and going back down to the first level.

The sun outside sinks and fades. The lights come on inside, but that doesn't make the library less busy. It in fact fills up. There are more students looking for help and support, keeping Roxas busy and away from the front desk.

By the time night has properly fallen he heads to his desk but sees the smile-inducing redhead at the book check-out. Those Black stretch jeans he wears are very tight. Roxas pulls his eyes up and as he nears he hears soft cusses.

"Can I help you?" he says, his smile unabashed carrying in his voice.

The redhead spins around on his heels, his face lighting up in a comical way. “You’re still here!” Roxas steps back as the redhead lurches forward. Roxas laughs, a nervous flutter inside himself. The guys pulls himself up and huffs out a small laugh, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Sorry,” he says, “I just thought you were gone for the day and I can’t find anyone else to help me and I was upset with myself that I didn’t get to thank you properly for all the help you’ve been today, and can I ask for one more favor from you?”

Roxas blinks rapidly, his lips fighting between displaying amusement and confusion. “How can I help you?”

“It’s not scanning. I’ve tried everything,” the redhead gestures to the machine and his pile of books the height of a small child.

Roxas takes a look. “Can I have your card?” He gets it handed to him between two long fingers. “Thank you,” he takes the card, glancing at the name Axel King for a moment, registering it before moving on to problem solving. He swipes the card, and then the book. An awful disappointed bleep sounds, conveying failure.

“Hmm.” Roxas tries again, clearing the check-out computer and scanning again with the same result.

“I’m glad it’s not just me that sucks at this.” Roxas jumps, the voice close to his ear. His heart races, the students smell in his nose.

“Let me check your library account. It probably just has to be activated.”

“Oh.” Roxas heads to his desk, and the redhead—Axel—follows him. Roxas smiles to himself but pushes it away as he sits down to do some typing and checking the system.

“I didn’t know I needed to activate a library card.”

“It should have come in your welcome pack.”

“Ehh…”

Roxas looks up with amusement at the drawl emanating from the opposite side of the desk. “Take a seat. It won’t be long, but take a seat," he offers, and gestures “Thanks.”

Roxas types away, the card laying before himself.

“I’m really relieved you’re still here. You’re like the most helpful librarian I’ve ever met, and you actually know stuff.”

Roxas huffs out in amused appreciation only throwing the briefest of glances over toward the student. “Heather and Emanual are very helpful and knowledgeable. They’re just caught up with a lot of other things.”

“Well, I appreciate you—”

Roxas looks up, getting the hint and flushing terribly for some reason. “Roxas,” he supplies.

The smile the redhead gives him makes Roxas feel even hotter under his collared, cotton long-sleeved white business shirt. He returns his attention to the screen and the activation process. “You live at 813 Felosa Drive?”

“Yes.” “And you’re enrolled in Master of Science in Medicine.” “Yep. What else can you see about me in there?” Axel leans closer, his lips quirking up and his eyelids slipping halfway shut.

Roxas’ stomach drops. His cheeks heat up. “Oh, y-you know. Just… your date of birth and… not much else.” He swivells his monitor around to show Axel, wanting to rid himself of the amorphous incriminating feeling overcoming him.

Axel glances at it before resting his eyes back on Roxas. “Well, as you can see I am twenty-nine, I’m studying part-time, and the things you can't see are that I’m doing my residency at Twilight Town General Hospital. It’s why I moved here. There was an opportunity and Twilight State College offers the same sort of course I was doing over at Radiant Gardens. The librarian here is a lot more helpful though, so thanks again.”

“You’re welcome,” Roxas says dumbly, his heart racing, his pulse throbbing in his veins. He focuses on the info on the monitor and turns it back toward himself.

The attractive expression falls away from Axel’s face, replaced by a gentle smile. “What about you? You know so much about me and I know nothing about you, besides your name, and the fact that you are really good at your job.” Axel rests his elbow on the desk, and cups the side of his face with his hand, watching attentively.

Roxas leans back, blinkling lamely. “I…” he tries to remember what he has been doing his entire life. It seems infuriatingly blank right now, like he just popped into existence yesterday. “I’m twenty-seven. I’ve been doing this job for two years. I did my practical studies here and kind of just always stayed.” “Did you always want to be a librarian?” “Um…” Roxas rubs at his arm through his shirt. “We call ourselves Information Professionals.” He returns his attention to the screen, trying to remember why they even walked over here.

“Oh, pardon me. Did you always want to be an Information Professional?” Axel’s eyes flutter a little, erupting flutters in Roxas’ stomach.

He gets back to activating Axel's account. “I wanted to be a teacher and I got my teaching degree, but life sort of led me here.” Axel hums. “Do you like your job?” “Yeah, I do. —Okay, you’re enrolled and your account is activated and you shouldn’t have any more problems now, Axel King.” He hands the card back with a smile and receives a tooth-flashing beam in return.

"Thank you, Roxas—" Expectation hangs.

"Thompson." Butterflies kick up.

"Nice to meet you, Roxas Thompson." Axel holds out his hand.

Roxas looks at the boney appendage, with two plain bands adorning them, one on the index finger, and the other on the ring finger. Roxas takes the offered gesture and receives a firm and warm handshake. He does his best to reciprocate the same firmness, hating how limp handshakes feel and not wanting Axel to think of him as limp—Roxas startles at his own thought, feeling his face heat up.

Axel hums with a low laugh. They let go. Roxas feels sweaty and wishes for a distraction.

Axel provides the wishes for reprieve by saying, “Pardon my ignorance, but what else do you do at a library besides helping useless info losers like myself?”

Roxas chuckles. “You’re not an info loser. It's completely understandable that you'd be confused if you come from a different system of indexing and keeping documents.”

“Thank you for making me feel better.” Axel’s cheeks tinge with red as he smiles ever harder.

Struggling to hold the eye contact, Roxas clears his throat and tries to find something to say, "Um… so, I run information sessions on how our search systems work and how to properly use the library facilities. I usually run them during orientation week, but also run a few classes throughout the semester.”

“Really? Why didn’t I know about this?”

Roxas bites down the smile. “It should have been in your welcome pack.” Axel laughs and sits up straight his hand now resting on the table surface. “Man, I really should have checked that info pack, shouldn’t I,” he laughs a little harder.

Roxas chuckles. “Maybe. You can book in for a session. You can find the timetable for classes and sessions on the library website, and now that your account is properly activated you shouldn’t have a problem signing up for them.”

Soft green eyes land on Roxas “Do you run all the classes?” “No, I share the load with my colleagues.” “Does it say which ones you’ll be running?”

A pang of heat hits Roxas in the stomach. He shifts in his chair. “It doesn’t. But I run most of the introductory stuff.” “Do you think I should take one up? Or did you already give me a hands-on demonstration of how everything worked today?”

He’s not sure why, but the way Axel says that makes his breath catch in his chest. “There are some things I haven’t shown you, that get covered in the class. You get a tour of the library, get to look around the archives down below and—"

"What's in the archives that's not up here?"

"Old and outdated journals. Newspaper articles. Things that are sensitive to light and heat and too fragile to keep out in public circulation. You'll see a special archive symbol next to archived works and you'll have to ask us staff to let you down there. And you can't take those out either. They strictly stay in the library."

"Ah, I see. I did see some things I was after with a little A next to them."

"Yeah, those are the ones."

"Alright. Well, I might have to ask you to let me down into the treasure trove one of these days."

Roxas feels too hot but coolly he gets out, "Sure."

They smile at each other. An array of pleasant tingles flutters through Roxas. He isn't sure where to look, so he looks at Axel's hand, taking in the rings. His smile dampens a little.

"I, um… is there anything else I can help you with?" Roxas aksed, sobering.

"Oh, ah, yeah, no. I won't keep you any longer. I need to get home and study."

"Okay. Have a nice evening."

Axel gets up but after a step turns around again. "When do you get off work? I didn't make you stay overtime or something, did I?"

Roxas hums with a small laugh. "I have the afternoon shifts. I start at three and finish at eleven."

"Every day?"

He shakes his head. Normally he wouldn't be so specific but… "No. Wednesdays to Saturdays.”

An aghast expression elongates Axel’s face. “What? You don’t get to have any fun partying Friday and Saturday nights?”

Roxas shrugs. “There’s always Sunday.”

"I guess,” though Axel doesn't sound certain at all. His tone changes, a smile lights his face once more. “Cool. Well, anyway, I should let you go. Thanks for everything."

“You’re welcome.”

Axel waves and leaves.

Roxas watches him check out his books without a hitch. He receives a brilliant grin from across the way, making him giggle and he continues to watch Axel leave, waving in reciprocity just before the redhead passes through the automatic doors.

He's not sure what happened, but he likes it.

#akuroku #akrk #woeful wip wednesday #cream pudding writes #wip

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