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fluffer5 · 1 year

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Reverse Summoning

Technically, this is my 7th Humans Are Space Orcs even though this is more of interdimensial summoning...

Anyways, more fun to think how terrifying we can be I guess...

So, I've seen one story prompt like this in the past but forgot where and who wrote it. This one would center more on the "what if we are summoned on a place kinda similar to Earth but seems more magical and is also stuck in the Renaissance or Medieval period?"

Cuz I've seen a post on TikTok saying "What if Earth had rings like Jupiter and other planets? What if those rings would be space rocks due to our close proximity to the sun? Our internet connection would go poof! and even if we have satellites, the transmission to Earth would buffer due to the magnetic disturbances possibly emitted by said space rocks".

Such is why I wrote this asking myself, what if humans are sorta classified into legendary creatures that could do a lot of things despite our weak looking bodies?

So, sorta like the usual isekai summoning but with the fact that they need to put certain "elements" to get the human familiar that they want though it doesn't translate well to our language, thus, they still get to have randomized humans qualities. Example: Earth, time, patience where they wanted someone as sturdy as the Earth, could manipulate time, and have patience for serving them equates to a farmer.

You get the gist of it lol.

Imagine this scenario… you are someone with an abnormal sleeping schedule due to a major project with an approaching deadline. You've been drinking caffeine and various energy drinks to the point that your stomach, liver, and kidneys would cry and curse you if they could speak. Your nerves are frazzled and your anxiety level is through the roof to the point that one wrong move could either send you through an enormous breakdown or a volcanic meltdown.

You were down to the last details of your project, the most crucial moment where you can finally end your torture and pass out on your bed for hours on end when suddenly, engravings appeared under your working area and a bright light was the last thing you saw as you cursed at the world for suddenly feeling faint (a side effect of the summoning) to the point that you felt as if you're hallucinating the bright engravings on your floor because ain't no way you have a shining marker anywhere near your table.

On the other side, a creature with humanoid features and chicken bird wings (nah, just kidding… the summoner have wings similar to a hummingbird) was feeling sweaty from the length of time it was taking for you to be summoned. Other people surrounding them was also waiting in anticipation.

Note that in their world, the longer the length of summoning, the higher the resistance force of the summoned being (yes, we can resist), and this means the greater the summon's capabilities are.

When the children (they look almost like us but due to their constant use of the leylines had certain additional features on their bodies, as featured with the chiken wings of the summoner) finally saw a body drop on top of the large summoning sigil.

They all held their breath as you gathered yourself from the disorientation.

They could see someone whose flesh isn't covered by scaled or hardened by muscles. No signs of any crystal either which is needed to harness the power of their leyline energy. To be honest, the summoned familiar looked as if its on the verge of death (looking zombified from the stress). They feel like you're about to keel over at any moment and instead of a summon, they'd have a corpse to clean up.

Of course, you, feeling delirious at the plethora of unique looking creatures, still sleep-deprived, and absolutely pissed off from suddenly being taken away from your work looked at them with bloodshot eyes and launched off a tirade of curse words that goes down to at least the 3rd generation of their family.

They know a few of our language given that they have attempted the same ritual over the past few years (though depending on the leyline used, time either goes too fast or too slow in our world, in other words it's more of a time travel hotspot).

They could understand words like "intestines" and "murder" and "deadline" and "kill" but the other words feel more different (the last summon that agreed to teach them was a pissed off Russian woman who was inwardly cackling as she incorporated a lot of random words that didn't match her place of origin as she's very happy to screw with people who are wasting her quiet time with her beloved wine).

The teacher though… the more he's looking at the translation orb in his hand, the more he feels the blood drain from his face.

They did summon someone important. Someone resilient and capable. Someone who's been able to go through harsh moments and still smile as they work through an entire cycle of hatred and cursing of their self, life, and world.

The greatest familiars usually come from what you call as "procrastinators".

Well, procrastinators are their own breed of legendary so it's not as if they're wrong.

Still, the summoning teacher felt like quitting that very moment when said summon brandished a sharpened pencil as you charged towards them shouting how you'll rip them limb from limb with a fudgin pencil if you have to.

Violence was one of the things in your mind and spite was the only thing left fueling your deranged soul as you chanted, "You messed with the wrong person, b!tch!" before diving forward at the squawking student who immediately casted defensive shields...

That shield did help deter you for a bit before you heaved, rounded them, and internalized all hate in your soul and stabbed the pointy end of your pencil at their mighty shield, laughing like a wild hyena as you watch the barrier crack open like your last piggy bank when you're left with no money in your pocket.

Their screams were glorious!

The school finally banned calling onto procrastinators until further containment considerations on their part after they sent home a crying, plucked humanoid hummingbird.

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fluffer5 · 1 year

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Terrans And The Boon and Bane of Research

Terrans are inherently curious creatures. Even our youngs are encouraged to be curious to enhance their growth development. Growing infants can be very energetic tykes the moment they can interact with the world other than seeing blurry blobs from their vision. Also, did you know that infants can only see in shades of black, white, and gray until they enter 3-4 months of age when color starts bleeding out of the world for them? Then you'd have very handsy babies who would want to touch anything and everything with bright colors and want to feel out different textures as a way of associating with the world and their simple meanings.

Anyways, that's just the start of our... curious nature.

Remember back then when teens would eat tide pods since they wanted to know what it tastes like or those who were dared to do this kind of stuff? Or when children who would look at the rotating electric fan blades and think "If I stick my finger in there, what would happen?". Some would ask any nearby adult Terrans... others... let their impulsive thoughts win.

Yes, apparently impulsive and intrusive thoughts are different from each other lol.

Also, do you remember the time when kids would mix stuff in the bathroom as if they were witches or scientists or genius beauty product makers? They would always have the "What would happen if I combine this hair conditioner and this shampoo with this body wash?" even though they'd end up flushing that abomination of a mixture over the drain afterwards in fear of being reprimanded for wasting supplies lol.

Now, let's go back to the original post.

As students, some of us were tasked to do our own research papers, reviews, thesis, or assignments answering the 'what if' stuffs. If you're in a school or place that doesn't require you to submit research proposals as an undergraduate requirement to... graduate of course, then you're one lucky Terran.

Some of these students would submit wacky research titles if you don't create a theme for them (see the titles listed on the original post cuz I'd love to read on those stuff but we all know teachers won't let such titles slide or even reach the board of research panelists lol). I mean, personally, I would've love to ask others on their first hand experience of traumatizing stuff but I have also anticipated that such thing wouldn't get approved and the interviewees would dodge me like crazy lol (was supposed to do in-depth research on how soldiers felt after their first kill on live combat scenario).

It's also hard to interview people when they're wary of you and such is why the listed questions seem to be so intrusive; they just wanted to stop the interview since they're uncomfortable but also don't want to tell the interviewers out of fear of coming out as a rude person since they're taking the time out of their day and the interviewee already agreed to it and stuff... we know that dance and dodge thing.

Y'know this was supposed to be a list of things I wanted to research but went on to a spiral of stuff as to why some research topics wont see the light of day and all that shazam unless funded by a company, university, or research institution. Anyways, lemme try on this.

Things I'd Want To Research

How trauma affects people differently

Are there really intergalactic creatures in another universe and do they look like us?

Parallel worlds and how to predict possible futures

Are dreams gateway to parallel worlds?

If we forget something, where does it go and what do we do to immediately remember it?

Ghosts... how?

Guardian deities... again how??!

Writers and worldbuilding plus the fanfiction side

Things My Friends Want To Research

Why are minor subjects (unrelated to chosen course) needed in college when you can spend the other times doing major subject stuff?

Why does your own fart smell better/satisfying than other people's fart?

Orgasm differences between males and females

Why does the universe look like brain cells?

If mermaids are real and they've drowned a lot of people, why do land people wanna interfere with them?

Wanna study creatures from other dimension or planets

What if every universe exploding just means another brain cell exploding?

How does the brain process stuff we do subconsciously??

What actually happens when we die? (pertains on the soul state)

What do humans taste like?

What is muscle memory and how does it exactly work? Like just how?? Even dead people move post mortem like huh? (that's what they said)

What even are these octopus with three hearts and eight legs and a beak for a mouth? Are they failed creations or something?!

P.S. They started off shy when I asked them and went on a downward spiral of things they wanted to know lol.

Meanwhile, the aliens watching over this genius teen exploring their planet:

Alien 1: Is he... is he petting that dangerous XXX rated danger Cro'lkreo?!

Cro'lkreo : Cat like thing thing with six legs, illuminating poisoned tail, vibrant fanned neck that screams danger just purring and even showing off its kittens that were scrambling at said human for more chin scratches. They also kinda look like Orcas on land and have the fur of your favorite soft blanket so...

Alien 2: Yeah, he did the same thing with our planet's Flushu and befriended the elusive Kaflatu. If I didn't know any better I'd think this Terran kid was gearing up to dominate every planet.

Flushu : Generally a massive looking owl that hunts during the day and sleeps for 2 hours like an insomniac. Can turn invisible making it a feared hunter of said land. Can dive-bomb like Terran Falcons but at a speed of 500-600 km/hour. Also acts like a sky cat and a crow. Flushus love little shiny trinkets offered to them by the humans and loves being preened and petted. One particular Flushu nearly gifted the human a huge Painite gem (it exists btw) but was seen to be sulking when the human took back the gem back to the nearby Kaflatu or Humanoid Elder Dragon Tribe.

Alien 1: And that was done by a Terran kid?!

Alien 2: Well, technically, it would be a baby Terran based on our star year but the Terrans insist that their teenage or young adults are more than capable of planning and living on their own. Still wouldn't dare to touch or kidnap one of them though. The previous Grr'stiag Tribe nearly got annihilated but was spared by the nearby Intergalactic Waffle House Retrieve and Rescue Squad after giving back that one explorer they kidnapped.

Alien 2: The what squad?!!

What avenues of research would you and your friends cause to open up?

That's it, that's the post. I'm very happy to start this chain with what I'd cause alone, my friends would cause alone, and what we'd cause together!

Alone:

How people function with ADHD

PMDD (Pre-Menstrual dysphoric disorder, started when they ask why I take daily meds)

The inability to tell left from right 9 times out of 10

My Friends:

How much information on extremely specific topic someone can have while not knowing the sun is a star

How people interact with animals that are basically liquids (cats, ferrets)

Us Together:

How people finish each others thoughts

How everyone synchronizes their movements

How everyone says/thinks the same thing at the same time

How surprisingly smart people turn inexplicably stupid when together

Sound Level = Dominence

Meme culture

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fluffer5 · 1 year

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How Protective Terrans Are

So... I might've dropped a few trauma bomb in my previous entries... but we won't further open those particular can of worms *smiles brightly while throwing the proverbial can at the traum-- ehem, garbage disposal*.

Anyways, this is my 5th entry to Humans Are Space Orcs! For today's human documentary, we're going to talk about what adult Terrans can and will do to you if you touch their young, family, close friends, pets, or special mementos given to them by a special someone (which doesn't have to be from a dead anybody or a romantic somebody). We all know people wouldn't hesitate to throw hands just to keep their people or stuff safe.

So, let's refer to my list, cuz it's easier to do lol. Again, I've used movies, series, podcasts, and a writer's angst-filled mind to type this. Should I warn the rest of you for further reading? I guess I should (I was so used to reading things without the warning that I'm sometimes confused of the TW tag on some stuff lol).

TW: Gore, violence, theoretical bodily harm even though I censored most of it, death, stabby people, bullying, the insanity train.

Kill the threat. Bit of an extreme one for the first thing to pop in my head, yes? But it is true. Wars were waged for lesser things. See this news article for one example: "Mom fatally shot home intruder to defend kids, she says". This one was published on August 18, 2022. In 2012, cuz I'm too lazy to search recent ones, there's another news articles featuring the same thing but focuses on a mother shooting an intruder to protect her 3-month-old baby. In 2015, an 11-year-old boy also shot an intruder trying to defend his 4-year-old sister from possible harm. I could go on and on about this but in countries where guns are not accessible, the next possible thing to use in defense would've been something sturdy and blunt or something extremely sharp. Actually, if we were in a time wherein tribes or kingdoms exist instead of cities, I can surely say that killing their young would definitely put you and your family in said people's sh*t list.

Fight the threat. Whether is be physically punching them on the face of the place where the sun doesn't shine, nobody cares as long as the deed of letting them know their place is done. Exhibit A that a lot of us know would be bullies ganging up on a younger sibling in school. We know that younger sibling are the proverbial pain in the *ss of older siblings. It's a love-hate relationship between them. But it's also an unsaid rule that only the older siblings can threaten or push around younger siblings. Anyone else touching them aside from the close family ties should be prepared to taste someone's fist. Or feet. Or the pavement. You get the gist of it. Though as long as the child in question can take care of the bullying on their own (which I did in my experience) then the parents or older sibling would gladly back off until the time they notice that things are going too far. Though, sadly, some kids prefer not to talk about their problems which leads to behavioral issues in the future, sorta trying to get attention from their elders but in a negative way.

Threaten the threat. I see this as the tamer version of protection actually lol. I don't know about other countries but in my country, the smart kids in school can threaten your life as a student. We have the usual bling-bling kids with the money and huzzah but they don't last long in the face of being a social pariah at school. They can throw money all they want but the smart kids wouldn't be threatened at all cuz they hold the key to higher GPA. Even the teachers complain about them nerds but action speaks loud and their compilation of evidence speaks louder lol. You'd be lucky if the nerd assigned to you has the patience of a saint cuz if not... well, I've had to stop fights from breaking out from simple arguments. Not just in school though. If you've got connection in higher places then that could also be a way to threaten someone (it does happen in real life so it isn't far-fetched). Though it is more effective to threaten the threat if you're in the same place as them. Another thing would be holding blackmail on said person (though that only works if they're not an immediate threat). If you have enough social influence, well, you can destroy their entire life without touching them even once.

Torture the threat. A friend says I'm too kind for ending their lives easily. Well, watching too many action and horror films prepared me for this part lol. I don't know which one would be done but interrogators have done the worst to get information from their victim. Too gory for this though and I don't know how many kids or emotional teens are in here so I have to censor a ton of the juicy details. Let's say it would be a bit similar to Saw, Jigsaw, and war interrogations. Chemicals, acids, peeled skin, salt, knives, and hammers might also be in place. Just know that it would be a bloody, unforgiving event that would take place in that particular room with that unfortunate victim.

Play the long game. Another said killing them quickly was... well... too quick XD. This one centers heavily on having money and patience. Know who the threat is, where they live, who they interact with, and what makes them tick. For this to work, you need to give up who you were before and settle on anonymity. This is... a bit more drastic than torture but works well if you have too much hate in your chest or the deed done was something you can never forgive. It's more on watching them physically suffer with their injury or doing the threatening on their family (gets messy very fast), but since this threat had amassed A LOT of enemies, they won't exactly know who did the evil deed on them. Shoot them on their legs, feet, and shoulder. Their spine if you're a good shot and know where to hit. Places that aren't close to their vital organs but would render them disabled. You'll let them live, but it will be a life of pain and agony.

Talk to the threat. The most peaceful type and probably the most boring out of this chaotic list > v <. This should be the first thing we do and not escalate to violence if some of us can help it. Again, your patience and wit will be tested here. If your threat is minor (like another child), then talking to their guardian would help with keeping the problem from going through a rollercoaster ride. Sometimes that doesn't work and the problem turns into an adult fight.

In summary, you have 2 kinds of Terrans. One would shoot before asking; the other would talk before shooting. Which is why you should never step on this particular deathworld if you were thinking about making Terran slaves or using our young in experimentation. We haven't given chase on aliens yet. Don't make yourselves the first intergalactic specie the Terrans would obliterate.

Meanwhile in a fast approaching spacecraft...

This alien reading this How To Deal With Terrans manual : Why did we want to go to this deathworld again?

Another alien turning yellow from anxiety : To befriend them and learn about the resident Terrans?

Yet another alien wilting as they feel faint from the information : Oh, thank the stars we won't be terrorizing them.

The alien commander whose frills are flaring in alarm as they read through the unredacted version of the manual : They will torture and skin us for taking their young and their pets?!

This particular scientist whose skins are changing colors in excitement : See? I told you their famous quote of "If predator not friend, why friend shape?" also applies to them!

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fluffer5 · 1 year

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Humans are mini-universal beings

I think this is my 4th entry to Humans Are Space Orcs. And gets sorta terrifying with this recent realization plus the small clip I saw on TikTok.

I've previously stated that writers are creators of worlds, right? Meanwhile, visual artists take de-structured ideas from the writers to create drawings, buildings, sceneries, or moments to give us an image of the world that the writers are giving life.

Now, color me surprise when I got to see this random video on TikTok which depicted how we ourselves are small walking universe. Check the following pictures and compare them, yes?

Placenta after birth = the tree of life depicted in mythology (and seeing as giving birth literally means growing a fetus (later on into an infant) inside of you, it doesn't seem so far off now. Turn that placenta around and you're faced with the cotyledons. These things look like bunched up leaves on top of trees.

Human lungs and alveoli = if you skip the gory look of the actual organ and just see it in a picture, you'd find that it seems like bunched up flower buds.

Human arteries, veins, and capillaries = now, Earth has its river network and streams, yes? Places with high salt content and none at all? That's the same way with our arteries if you replace the salt analogy with non-oxygenated blood and oxygenated blood flowing in and out of the heart to cycle back... like how evaporated water turns to rain lol...

Human eyes = they look like some galaxy formations. One eye holds different flecks or palette of color, almost like how colorful galaxies could get.

Human mitosis = a human's cell creation is a galaxies' version of collapse. They usually go backwards to our own version to crash into each other. Ours are more of a cell division. But if we think of it's creation where electrons supposedly combine with each other to create another galaxy, then perhaps the idea isn't that farfetched.

And have you seen mountain structures that look like giants? What do we have as explanation for those?

Imagine the conversation after an alien reads through our anatomy books. One of them looks at you, face either drained of blood, deadpan, or panicking (again... at this point the United Intergalactic Council is on speed dial).

Alien: You're telling me that you are miniscule galaxies... like YOU are a microscopic galaxy that's being kept in form and human shaped by bones and fragile skin?

Human: I won't say that it's fragile. Some of us develop calluses on some of our skin which means they can thicken (forgetting to mention they only happen on specific areas).

Alien: You thicken your skin?!

Human: *snickers* Some have even thick faces (this alien doesn't know our numerous metaphors).

Alien: You can develop armor on your head?!!

Human: I think we got lost track with the anatomy book... what did you mean when you said we were walking galaxies?

Alien: You are! You have depicted everything in this book!

Human: That's just my book for beginners though...

Alien: You have more evidence that you host life inside of you and are capable of producing more?!

Human: ...yes? (thinking of babies, intestinal parasites, bacteria, and lice)

Alien: OH GREAT MOTHER OF STARS!!!! WHAT IS WITH YOU TERRANS AND BEING SO FRUSTRATINGLY DIFFERENT?!? What are you going to show me next?! That you eat Chlcusgyt for food?!

Human: *whispers to self* Those are like... our version of octopus and squids, right? We're not allowed to eat those? They're so tasty though?

Alien: *hears the whisper due to their biologically natural hearing to get away from predators* Oh, stars you are NOT joking with that!

The terrified alien calls the UIC to tell them how Terrans apparently eat one of Space's greatest hunters for dinner. That day, we earned another reason why other intergalactic sentient species should not mess with the Deathworld of Terran.

#earth is space australia #humans are crazy #humans are space orcs #humans and aliens #humans are deathworlders #humans are space australians #humans are space oddities #humans are weird #humans are terrifying #humans are strange #humans are awesome #humans are walking galaxies #we even have our stripes to prove how weird we look like lol #our mouths are like blackholes that eat anything that's edible #space has its pressure and we have our own human body pressure #humans can definitely host creatures #we just decide to kill them off for leeching from us lol #don't get me started on the reincarnation and rebirth topic #just another reason to see ourselves as gorgeous and deadly in our own little ways

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fluffer5 · 1 year

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Humans and childrearing

My 3rd entry to humans are space orcs and dang am I seeing our species as the odd one out with all our quirks.

Again, my basis for this would be the movies and stories I've watched or read. So, most information I've got on alien child rearing center on quirks that can be considered as the constant for their entire specie. Like, a new behavior exhibited by the parent towards their young that doesn't conform to the norm is absolutely rare to the point that other parents or those who are old enough to care for a child would immediately go to rescue the youngling who seems to be in danger or in pain. Some who couldn't afford to keep the child would at least have this decency to put the child in foster care where someone could raise and shelter them till they're strong enough to leave or go on an adventure on their own.

Humans though? We're absurdly complex creatures with a malfunctioning sense of familial love on our youngs. We love them one moment, and hate them next. We'd be filled with adoration for this new life in our arms, then feel disgusted and annoyed at them for making too much noise, taking up too much time, taking up so, so much of us until this supposed guardian spirals down into the neglectful, angry person some kids know.

Of course, not everyone reacts that way. But it happens often enough that we have medical interventions, guidelines, and even agencies or social groups that deals with that particular problem.

There are parents or guardians who would hate this unknowing baby for killing their wife, sister, daughter, or mother in the process of their birth. There are mothers who would neglect and feel resentful of the precious bundle they gave birth to for taking up the attention of HER husband, HER family, even though she knows that it's wrong to feel that way with her baby. There are siblings who feel the ugly crawl of jealousy up their stomach, heart, and lungs to the point that they work towards sabotaging the growth and milestones of this new child they see as competition. Heck! There are parents who would continue to give birth even though they KNOW that they're not financially secure and their children might suffer from starvation or a sickness that they can't afford to pay off medicine.

The children? We grow up carrying the scars of survival. Be it visible or not, we have it.

Hearing this information upon opening the topic on how each race care for their young (each one giving the usual rearing they have in a clan and how they always pull out younglings who are more sickly and fragile to be given thorough love and care but never one that is nagging or suffocating because instincts and talent needs to be given time to develop), the Unified Intergalactic Council, one made up of elders, warriors, healers, historians, builders, star-readers, and other reknowned professions would stare baffled at the human representative with horror and worry.

"You say that your kind treasures your young but punishes you for the smallest mistake?" a healer asked looking confused and displaying anger through the minute movement of his brightly colored frills. "Punishment for not finishing food when the hatchling has declared that they are full?! And they had the gall to be offended for this young one for wasting precious resources?!"

"I was too young to question it," the human representative, Kara, relayed the information, not seeing the practice as… punishment, but more of an experience that most kids her age shared. "When I got old enough… Well, I never thought to revisit the wrongness of such practice again since I moved out of our house."

"Well, I, for one, am far concerned when you said some of your wars were fought by children? Did your leaders lose a part of their heads to think that children could fight for their battles? And you said some of those children were trained with the bares of skill and would learn most of it on actual live-combat?!" a veteran General was left in confusing garble and grumbles that is most probably a jumble of curses and profanities if she reads right into the indignant face of said General's wife, a War Strategist.

"I'm concerned for you, child," an old star-reader (their version of a prophet) gently laid their hand on her arm, eyes swirling with the birth of new stars and the death of others, their voice fluctuating from masculine to feminine, pitch becoming a scramble of highs and lows. "You have told us of the joys in your planet. How happy it is to be a Terran. How you love this deathworld even with its harsh seasons and mighty predators and lurking sickness. Yet now that we are speaking of caring for your young, you've been growing more upset, distant."

"Children are considered as gifts to all species," Kara would bitterly remark to them star-reader. "That's what you told me… That's what I've been told by the adult Terrans."

"What do you think then, child?" the star-reader asked even though they already know the sad truth of this youngling's life. And she is a youngling. Kara is 20 cycles old. Still so young since Terrans do not stop their brain development between their 30th or 40th life cycle. They shouldn't have pushed their children to this. Terran young should've been learning new skills and not rushing at that age… and yet….

"I think… I'm tired of working so hard for others and not living for myself. I'm tired of being not enough. I'm tired of having to give a piece of myself to everyone who needed me. I'm tired of being the eldest sibling, Myrtzhg. I'm tired of giving up a lot of opportunities I want because my mother, my bearer, would tell me to give these opportunities to my younger siblings! It's never me, Myrtzhg! And I'm so tired of thinking it never will!"

That was the exact same day the UIC panicked, trying to sooth the Terran youngling from their pent up emotions. Even the strictest of the council members had a mild panic attack when Kara full out wailed and didn't seem to be consoled by their usual Terran sweets and treats. They later learned that Kara got a message from her own bearer to hurry up and give them money because Kara's siblings need it for a celebration, even reprimanding Kara how should stop being such a greedy, ungrateful child.

Earth was but one intergalactic missile away from destruction if not for the swift swat to the head by a fuming Matron saying they should kidnap all the children and good parents first before blowing up the planet… Kara, of course the sweetheart that she is, disagreed to the plan.

#humans and aliens #humans are crazy #humans are deathworlders #earth is space australia #humans are space oddities #humans are weird #humans are space australians #humans are space orcs #humans and childrearing #destructive way of growing up #pent up emotions says who #same people who deny the existence of mental illness #gentle parenting who?#trauma dump to the UIC #humans need their comfort food #we're too forgiving lol

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fluffer5 · 1 year

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Humans and our insane biology

My 2nd entry to humans are space orcs.

So, I've always seen in movies that the intergalactic version of healing is via cryopads or filling an entire space tube with some sort of liquid and just chucking the entire person inside to heal for an indefinite amount of time depending on the severity of their injury.

Now, humans don't have the luxury of that. I can sorta theorized that the medical stuff the aliens use would include the use of nanites or galactic medicinal herbs that would speed up the healing process, bumping up a supposedly 10 years of physical rehabilitation and recovery to a few months at most and to those who get the quality herbs, then a few weeks.

Seeing as Earth would be seen as a deathworld, a term I've been seeing for planets that hold life forms but is seen as a hostile planet to other other galactic race, they would be baffled by the slowness of our healing process.

They might think, "Their planet is harsh so their healing process must be very fast". And they're half correct with that assumption. Even the most ill of humans can fight back on a lot of health issues even with minimal medical support.

Infection? Increased white blood cells and even developing a fever to kill this micro invaders via increased body temperature. The body not getting oxygen? Body falls into tachypnea or breathing too fast to get more oxygen. Any feelings of danger? Adrenaline pumps out to give you an extra boost of energy for fight or flight purposes. Injury leading to a cut somewhere on our skin? Have the platelet go over there and cover the cut and have the white blood cells round up the bacteria that could've entered. Hungry with no food? Let me use this fat tissue as energy.

Alien: You mean you heal slowly or very fast depending on your injury?! What if your body can't heal itself or what if you're too weak to do the healing?! *panicking from the stress since humans are technically considered as Eternal Younglings given that they're the fastest to die from their short lifespan*

Human: That's when we go to the hospital. Our version of your healing technology.

Alien: Oh, thank the stars. So how long do you stay in your cryopad if you have a deep injury?

Human: Depends on how deep. If it's just a small cut or a small bruise then we don't go to the hospital. But if the injury is super deep or an organ is not functioning well or we're bleeding from the inside, then we have doctors who put us to sleep with this chemical called anesthesia and they operate on the cut and fix the messed up organs.

Alien: *concerned alien noises* Doctors are like healers, yes? How do they exactly 'fix' you?

Human: So, they inject us with this anesthesia, wait for us to fall asleep, then cut their way through our muscle, fats, and tissues before seeing the organs, maybe cutting up a bit of it to send to the labs or fixing it up. I don't really know the exact details since I'm just your plain worker.

Alien: Child, 'healers' who cut up patients are called as kiarvetj, killers! *exasperated, panicky actions* How... how often did you say that you Terrans go to this hospital again?

Human: Oh, I'm not sure for the rest of my kind but for those who are healthy enough like me who can function and not collapse or vomit blood or get in an accident, then pretty much never. Besides, even if I want to know if I'm sick of something, the price to have myself be medically checked is too much. So I just make do with herbs and stuff.

Alien: I think I'm going to have a word with the UIC (Unified Intergalactic Council) about this... AGAIN!

#humans and aliens #humans are crazy #humans are deathworlders #earth is space australia #humans are space oddities #humans are weird #humans are space australians #humans are space fae #humans are space orcs #human healing ability #humans are alien younglings via age alone #humans and our insane biology

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fluffer5 · 1 year

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Confused alien noises: Wtf it worked?! It worked!?! I... I have to tell the Council that praying to the Writers worked! *insert an amusing happy alien dance before said alien runs back home to announce how the Writers had finally heard their pleads of help (a.k.a. dearest author finally updated) after trying to offer this baked cookie from the recipe that they found while checking the intergalactic database on Terra/Earth.*

Meanwhile that one specific author on Earth: I wonder why I'm always craving this specific cookie when I start writing this fic 🤔

My own contribution to the humans are space orcs tag and Earth is the galactic version of Australia... but more focused on the writers themselves.

Remember, writers are worldbuilders and destiny changers given how much a lot of fanfiction writers would try saving this character who had a lot of potential but died a premature death or having that evil character turn to the good side just to see how we can play around with the original plot if they're taken into the equation. Y'know, just the usual self-indulging fics that would motivate others to write their own fanfictions?

The problem here is, other galactic species simply don't understand the concept of writing stuff that isn't proven.

If we base it on how our respective ancestors would document events, that would be how bedtime or tavern stories would be told to the other galactic entities with just a tad bit of exaggeration. Like instead of defeating 3 enemies, they'd defeat 5. Nothing like how we humans would sometimes blow the story out of epic proportions for sh*ts and giggles.

So, yeah, those dry, boring, and long history lessons without a splash of color and could put you to sleep in class? Yeah, that's probably how the aliens would weave their own tales. They really try to document things as close to the truth as possible. Countless counter-checks to the original story happens but at least they're being close to the Truth.

Heck! Their own literary works might even be heavily centered on catering to other intergalactic species, politics, customs, etc. So the concept of fiction and the creation of worlds through writing most probably doesn't exist or is seen as an embellishment of the truth. Fiction writing that doesn't contain war tactics or even the Search of Truth (published research) that could contribute to their own community is a highly frowned upon profession to pursue.

So, it isn't far fetched that some of these galactic entities might have this misconception about our own fictional (not real) stories as a sort of unproven research hypothesis on other galaxies and the life forms possibly living in their own planes of existence.

Like, imagine explaining the world of Harry Potter, Star Wars, Avatar, etc. to them in a thorough, serious discussion and then saying you wanted a season 5 or something but the original story was simply finished and there's nothing you can do it about it except to mourn for this wonderful world built by this fantastic writer.

Other aliens who couldn't grasp the intricacy of the story you just told would simply go "Oh, wow. Too bad for them." before boasting about how they would've handled the same battles... which means that they're translating said information as The Truth because why would they imagine that we would create these stories of heroes and champions of war if they're not true, right?

But then there would always be that one listener (usually the nerdy aliens whose profession is focused on history or research of galactic biodiversity) that would look so confused and ask why there is no longer any continuation or any sign of this civilization in their planet. They'd act perfectly fine too even if they're sweating buckets from the wtf information they just got, being careful in the questions they ask and all unless they do something that would offend you because the way you were telling the story implies that you might be a Writer too.

And instead of telling them that these things we're yapping on about isn't real and just stories we created, we'd get sucked into explaining the beauty of fanfiction and how our fellow writers are slowly adding up new details to this world and go around saying "Oh, I'm so glad I have a lot of fellow writers who love this little world of magic and would change just a few elements to make it more beautiful and exciting", which gives the alien another existential breakdown because we're discussing the existence of parallel worlds as if it isn't a galactic-breaking idea.

This wee alien would either look awed, terrified, disturbed, or have an existential crises because we literally referenced at least one foreign civilization's history, just with different names for said characters.

When they finally go back to their homeplanet, they'd tell their own kind how the sapient species from planet Earth have created worlds and have their own gods walking with them in the mortal world and calling themselves as "Writers". Like, literally writing the existence and creation of civilizations into worlds, plus the continuous ripples added by other Writers which creates a whole dang tsunami of new worlds branches from the original one.

Also, maybe, sometime somewhere around an emergency intergalactic meeting, they'd agree to build shrines for these Writers and have a scheduled ceremony asking for blessings and that's why we get this sudden urge to "Ooh I think I wanna update that story that I left in hiatus for around 5 years and add new elements to it so my characters can have the excuse of plot armor or something".

#humans are space orcs #humans are crazy #humans are space oddities #earth is space australia #Writers are world builders #writers and parallel worlds #writers deciding your fate and destiny #Writers accidentally ascending to godhood #writer speaks #this writers had to write a thesis

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