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The Jonicles - Entry 27: The One Where I Rank How Sexy Each Jon Is (Part 1)

DAAAAAMN HIS ASS THO ^^

(image courtesy of @outofcontextgarf!!)

It is currently the 15th of October, 2022 at 12:24 pm on a Saturday. Next week will bring a never-ending avalanche of worthless exams (like, 5 of them) that will most definitely cause a mental break, so why not write this entry and the next now before the insanity hits? It is also day #149 of my Jon Arbuckle hyperfixation!!

I think it's been well established that I love Jon, and you've surely all read entries 8 and 15 by this point. I'm gonna be upfront and say that Jon Arbuckle is quite the dashing and handsome fellow! His dorky, fatherly and unashamedly him sort of demeanor is something I really love about him, not to mention the relaxed look in his eyes he always seems to have (especially in the early strips). And don't even get me started on how THICK this man is! All and all, Jon is a man of attraction to me. So it would only be reasonable to, in the midst of my ever-so-strong Jon hyperfixation, to compare and contrast each iteration of Jon from one another in a sort of contest to see which Jon is the hottest of them all. This will be split into two parts: The main comic strip being part one, and the other media being part two. Yes I have gone completely insane, let's do this!!

How will this work? Well, there's a criteria for every aspect of Jon, whether it be physical or related to his personality. Here, I'll list them:

Source material (Comics, cartoons, games, movies etc.) - No points

The era each Jon iteration is from (late 70s - early 80s, 80s, 90s, 2000s, 'Jon' era etc.) - No points

Physical attributes (How big the eyes are, his hair, whether his anatomy and proportions are more cartoony or realistic, pants colour (trust me it matters) etc.) - 1-10 points (combined because i dont know how to count)

How thick he is (Flat as a board or thick as a baker's dozen) - 1-10 points

His voice acting (Thom Huge, Wally Wingbert etc.) - 1-10 points (cartoon/voice acted games exclusive)

Uniqueness (Details/quirks that are special to that specific iteration of Jon such as art style and physical quirks) - 1-10 points

Personal significance (If the era/iteration of Jon is one I grew up with or have a special emotional connection to) - 1-5 points

Personality (more goofy than serious, more unhinged than relaxed, more fatherly than simply being a pet owner etc.) - 1-20 points

Any other interesting bits of information that make him more or less attractive - Any extra bonus points

Each bit of criteria will then have its points added in a general score out of 65 + whatever bonus points I may give, and that final score will decide which Jon is truly the hottest out of them all (at least to me anyway)! I'll try my best to find every piece of official Garfield media I can and will be avoiding any fan media like fan comics and animations and any derivative fan media like Garfield Minus Garfield, Square Root Of Minus Garfield and ZALGO strips that would be redundant to include. Now that I've got that all out of the way, let's start!

First of all, let's start with the most well-known iteration of Mr. Arbuckle, that being the Garfield comic strip. Everyone's seen at least one Garfield strip in their life and Jon, arguably being the main guy is a major part of what makes the comic what it is. The Garfield comic had its humble beginnings in 1978* and it looked very different from the strip many in our generation grew up with, Jon's eyes being much smaller and his proportions being much lankier than they are now. Let's start with late 70s - early 80s Jon, shall we?

1978 - 1984

Physical attributes - For starters, Jon's eyes are very small and beady and are much higher up on his head, making for an unusual sight for people who are unfamiliar with the strip's early works. Jon's nose is much higher up as well as a result, making his philtrum (the groove on the face that connects the nose and mouth) incredibly long. Jon's head is quite narrow and slender, making for plently of space for smooching and to hold his head in your hands and give him the loving tender care he deserves. Jon looks very tall and thin in this iteration of the strip, probably the skinniest and scrawniest he's ever been, but I like 'em skinny and scrawny anyway. Jon's hair is still as curly as it's ever been, but it's visibly flatter and has a sort of fringe at the front, certainly an interesting detail that adds a uniqueness to this iteration of Jon that I haven't seen past the late 70s as, unfortunately, this little detail about Jon seems to have vanished into the 80s. Throughout the majority of the early strips, Jon's pants are a nice pitch black which honestly looks quite nice on him. Something about it makes him look taller in a way. This is possibly the most human-like Jon has looked in the strip* and I like that in a way. Therefore, I give the physical attributes of 1978 - 1984 Jon a solid 7 out of 10. Not bad for a start, not at all!

How thick he is - You know, for the start of the strip, Jon is pretty thick. Whilst his ass doesn't stick out as much as the late 80s, he still has a considerable amount of cake stored back there, and to say that he's flat would be a big lie. It's still there when he's simply standing upright which is extremely pleasing, meaning he doesn't even have to put in effort to have a big ass. Overall, I give Jon's ass a 6 out of 10. That's a pretty nice ass!

Uniqueness - This era of Jon is probably the most unique out of the bunch as this was when 'Garfield' had just evolved from a small Pendleton Times strip to a more mainstream comic, meaning that Jon has many little design quirks and is rough around the edges as his design evolved from strip to strip. He, as stated earlier, is also the skinniest and lankiest of the bunch, making him very unique in that suit, not to mention his hair fringe. Overall, the uniqueness of early Jon has to be a 9 out of 10. An incredibly unique Jon to behold, I say!

Personality - In the early strips, Jon was much more serious and level-headed. Yeah, he still had plently of dorky moments and was a hopeless romantic when it came to Liz, but in terms of general attitude, Jon was a lot more relaxed and witty. He even comes off as a little more sophisticated, looking cool and calm, sometimes even having his hands positioned in a "tent" like a villain or something, haha! He's loving towards Garfield, but he's also cheeky and cunning, tricking Garfield into having a bath by saying it's soup and teasing him with a puppet that calls him fat (unrelated but i had a very similar dog puppet as a child... maybe i am jon....). He often looks directly at the reader, usually to emphasise a punchline, though in the first strip, he politely introduces him and Garfield to the reader, showing him to be a gentle, respectable and polite man. He's also more introverted, as even when talking to someone as close to him as Lyman, Jon enjoys a lot of his time alone, reading a book, usually with his cat. While Jon is more level-headed in these strips, He is still easy to provoke, easily startled and can lose his cool quickly when things go wrong or when Garfield annoys him, though a detail to be noted here is that Jon yells and shouts a lot less. Jon, while he is more serious and calm in this era, is certainly not a boring character at all, as his politefulness, main character tendancies and loveable charming attitude make him a 17 out of 20 in terms of personality! A very likeable fellow indeed, I'd love to chat with him!!

Personal Significance - While I mainly grew up reading comic strips from the mid to late 80s, I have read plenty of early 80s and even a few late 70s strips as a child and I hold them very dear to my heart. Therefore, in terms of nostalgia and what Garfield strips would ultimately shape my view of who Jon is to me, this era of Jon is one of very personal significance to me. He's special to me and therefore is one of the most ideal Jons to me (i believe i've talked about this before...). Overall, the personal significance is a 5 out of 5 for his importance in my early Garfield endeavors.

Extra details - Looks like he's the most likely Jon to have a conversation to about the existensial parts of life, I'm giving him and extra 5 points just for that.

So, with all those decided, what score do I give 1978-1984 Jon overall? Including bonus points, this era of Jon would be a solid 49 out of 65. Not bad, not bad at all! That's quite an attractive Jon actually, great DILFing man!

1985 -1989

Physical attributes - Since the early 80s, Jon's appearance had been quickly evolving to give him a much larger eye shape that takes up more of his face, though his eyes still aren't as exaggerated as they are in the 90s. They still have quite a lot of roundness in them which is something I personally like quite a lot. Jon's head shape has also quickly changed as well, being less narrow and more round, still plenty of space to hold and smooch! Whilst the fringe has long disappeared, Jon's hair is still as curly and bouncy as ever and seems to have doubled in how much there is, and with how chubbier Jon's face is, there's plenty of it to pat. Jon is also still relatively narrow, though his proportions are a lot less realistic. For instance, Jon's head compared to his torso is much bigger in size, his hands have gotten slightly puffier and he appears to have more of a general silhouette now as he evolves. Jon's also way more expressive than he was back in the late 70s, his bigger eyes allowing for a much higher range of wacky expressions for him to make. His pants are still black, though his blue slacks do make ocassional appearances from time to time. From behind he looks particularly attractive, his head being in a sort of chibi shape, his shoulders looking broad, he just generally looks powerful and handsome from the back for some reason. This Jon, to me, is arguably one of the most recognisable and is the Jon I think of when someone mentions his name and is also the era of Jon I used and studied as a reference to develop how I draw him. Therefore, Jon is a fantastic 10 out of 10 in terms of his appearance! What a handsome fellow!!! ;)

How thick he is - Oh my goodness, this Jon is a THICK Jon. You know how in entry 15 I mentioned that the panel of Jon having a stroke while taking lasagna out of the oven is from the mid 80s? Yup, Jon is thick as FUCK in this era. Like, his ass is always just there and it is magnificent. The man doesn't need effort to make his ass look fantastic, it just is that way. Therefore, I officially give his ass a solid 10 out of 10; a fantastic, perfect rump capable of putting even JFK to shame!

Personality - The 80s is where Jon's personality starts to shift and change. In the 80s, Jon is still our favourite cat dad and carries much of his personality from the early 80s to the late 80s. He still has moments of seriousness, but he's a lot more of a dork and a goof than he was in the late 70s. Jon also has way more moments of forgetfulness and being unorganised, such as the strips that have the punchline of Jon forgetting to sort out his fridge and being unaware that his tie is in his coffee. The 80s was also the time where Jon went on a lot more dates with people outside of Liz, showing Jon's evolving willingness to step outside of his comfort zone. Jon still remains quite sane in the 80s, though he tends to become panicked and angered a lot more often (relatable) than he did before. One thing I really like about Jon is just how caring an energetic he is, and there's not a better example of that than in the 80s. While Jon may snap at Garfield from time to time, Jon shows that he's incredibly caring towards his beloved cat, treating him almost as his son and taking him places for holiday. Although Jon is energetic and exciteable, Jon also shows a lot more lethargy and tiredness which suggests some underlying form of possible depression which adds yet another layer to his character. This is also the time period that cemented Jon as a little bit of an unlucky chap, but not to the point where he's completely miserable, which I like. Overall, 80s Jon is a loving family man with a heart of gold, and though he may have outbursts sometimes, they never last long, and Jon is still that loveable polite man he has been since the beginning, which is why I give Jon's personality an 18 out of 20!

Uniqueness - For it's time, 80s Jon is quite unique. For starters, the art style of 'Garfield' was pretty cemented here, being a sort of base for how the art would evolve and change over the years, so Jon here has a very unique appearance. This was also the time in which his hair changed shape into a much curlier and bouncier look, also serving as a base for how his hair would look in the future. This was also one of the first times Jon's personality developed a lot from how he was at the beginning of the strip, adding more layers upon layers that really developed Jon and made him feel like more of a real person than just a funny cartoon guy and that, to me, is super attractive. I rate Jon's uniqueness a 4 out of 5, quite an original lad for his time and one that I'll never forget!!

Personal significance - If you've read many of the entries, you'll know that 80s Jon is a huge part of my heart and my childhood 'Garfield' exposure. 80s Jon was the one I saw in my dad's comic books. 80s Jon was the one I saw on screen whenever I'd watch 'Garfield And Friends', the Halloween special and 'Garfield In The Rough'. 80s Jon is the Jon I still enjoy when rewatching my favourite specials and 80s Jon is the one I go for when reading strips I haven't seen before. 80s Jon was the Jon I grew up with and the Jon I know. Therefore it goes without saying that 80s Jon is a 5 out of 5 in personal significance because he means so much to me and is the one I relate to the most! I love 80s Jon man :)

Extra details - That "Why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food" edit still has me rolling, 6 extra points for my boy he deserves it

Alright, time to roll in the score for my favourite cartoonist! Including the bonus points, 80s Jon gets a solid score of 53 out of 65 on the sexymeter! Alriiiight, Jonny Boy! That's one hell of a sexyman if I do say so myself! You deserve it, buddy! :D amen!!

1990 - 1999

Physical attributes - In the early 90s, Jon looks very similar to how he does in the mid to late 80s. However, over time there have been subtle changes to his appearance, especially his eyes. I said that 80s Jon really cemented the way he looks in modern times, but to give credit to 90s Jon, a lot of what people think of when they think of Jon are his more egg-shaped eyes that came in the 90s. Jon's figure continues to become more cartoony and exaggerated, his appearance having not changed too much for the majority of the 90s as I believe Jim Davis found a comfortable style to stick with for quite a while. His head is even more circular and round than before, and whilst his eyes are massive, there's still plenty of space to smooch and cuddle! Jon's also waaayyy more expressive in the 90s, as in every panel Jon is just bursting with expression and I really like that! He faces the front a lot more and gives the reader a very good view of his loveable little face. Jon's curly hair now has more of a defined shape and again as seemed to have multiplied in amount, making for ample head-petting abilities. Plus, it just looks really nice to pat and run your hands through, it looks soft. Jon has also become visibly chubbier and less lanky which kinda makes him look a little shorter than before and his back arches out more, though he still retains much of his limb skinniness and those glorious muscular legs of his. Oh yeah, I didn't mention that did I? Jon's muscular legs appear much more frequently coming the late 90s and 2000s and I must say they look quite dashing. Jon never skips leg day and that's solid proof! Jon's pants are still a nice sleek black, though as the 90s progresses, you begin to see a lot more of his darker blue slacks making more appearances. With all that said, 90s Jon gets a solid 9 out of 10 in appearance! Truly handsome lad if I do say so myself, I reckon!

How thick he is - It excites me greatly to see that Jon is even thicker than he was in the 80s. Just look at his ass! Talk about not needing effort, it's a force that truly cannot be stopped nor shaken... At least figuratively, hah... Ahem, anyway, Jon's ass ROCKS! 9 out of 10!

Personality - Jon's personality in the 90s is really interesting. His dorkiness has seemed to increase a LOT and more punchlines place him at the centre of it all. This is also the decade of Jon talking endlessly about little thoughts that come to his head or memories he's had as a child, something I relate to a lot and also something I enjoy! More Jon is always a great thing in my book, I love learning more about him from his own first-hand accounts of his life! Over the years, Jon's patience has slowly been waning the more tricks Garfield pulls on Mr. Arbuckle. He lashes out more and generally seems a lot more nervous and panicky, not to mention his mood swings which indicate a significant loss of sanity. Jon's apathy has also increased and he's become a lot more desperate for a date, which really concerns me, since this specific detail marks the beginning of Jon's descent into near-madness from how badly he wants someone to love and to be loved himself. Jon's also more airheaded and doesn't pay a lot of attention to what's going on around him as often, which leads him to getting pranked a lot easier by Garfield and Odie. However, Jon is still as cunning as ever, often pranking Garfield back, stealing his food that one time and sawing holes into tables and floors to psyche his cat out. Jon's personality during this time period is also really fun to analyse as he has so many little quirks and behaviourisms that are great to study and use to get a better grasp at just how to develop his character when writing stuff. Therefore, I give the personality of 90s Jon an 18 out of 20!

Uniqueness - There isn't too much to say about 90s Jon that can't be said about 80s Jon. They're quite similar, although 90s Jon is a little more unhinged than 80s Jon is. On top of that, 90s Jon does develop his character a lot more and is a big part of why I headcanon him as having ADHD, but apart from that, not too much. I give 90s Jon a 3 out of 5 in terms of uniqueness, but that doesn't mean I dislike 90s Jon at all; far from that in fact!!

Personal significance - All my dad's 'Garfield' comic books are from the 80s, so I can't say that 90s Jon has too much significance. However, he still has some significance in a weird way. I remember discovering 'Garfield Minus Garfield', and even though I said I wouldn't include fanworks, a lot of the GMG strips I read were from the late 90s, as this was a time where the Web 2.0 was still kinda young, so a lot of 90s comics made it into GMG. But apart from that, 90s Jon doesn't have too much personal significance, so I'll give him a 5 out of 10. Doesn't mean he's not special though!!

Extra details - hehe jon drank dog cum 7 points

And what do the final results say about our curly-haired sexyman? Including the bonus points, 90s Jon gets a nice 51 out of 65! That's fantastic, Jon! I'm proud of you, man!

2000 - 2009

Physical attributes -To be honest, 2000s Jon is myleast favourite out of the bunch (not to say i dislike him though!!). Not in appearance though, especially in the early 2000s! He looks really cute! His head is nice and round and I'd love to hold it in my hands... like putty in my hands! His hair still looks curly and bouncy as ever, though I find it odd how compared to Jon's head in the later strips, his hair looks a little bit less? It's not too big of a deal, but I just wanna run my hands through his hair and now it's lessening... He's going bald! Jokes aside though, Jon's still super expressive and I've noticed that he makes his signature snarky expression a lot more, which is always amusing and adorable!! Whenever he smiles, especially his little devious grins, it ends up being incredibly contageous and I smile too! Jon looks a little chubbier as well which is admittedly pretty adorable, he looks huggable and it just melts my heart :). As I said before, Jon's meaty ass legs are still here, and boy are they meaty! I think leg day is a strong suit of Jon's! Also, Jon's pants have officially changed from black to blue, and honestly? They look nice! I prefer the sleek black colour more, yes, but the blue looks nice on him!! Overall, 2000s Jon gets a 7 out of 10! Pretty handsome!!

How thick he is - One constant of life that will always remain true is that Jon will always be thick as a bakery. Like DAAAAAMN WHAT THAT ASS DO!?!? 8 out of 10, babey!!

Personality - You know, 2000s Jon has really strayed from what 70s Jon was and it's interesting. 2000s Jon seems like an entirely different guy (apart from still being sexy as fuck). He's way less chill than he was before and is it me or does he seem a lot more erratic and angry? It worries me how angry Jon can get, even to the point of really shouting at Garfield. He seems way more nervous and depressed too, he talks so much more about how much his life stinks, the poor guy can't seem to catch a break when he gets a date, if he gets a date... Speaking of dates, Jon's also way more desperate to get one, which is also concerning. He seems to place his entire value on getting a date and I just... I just really wanna hug him... Jon is really loving to his family though, he still keeps in contact with his parents and brother on the farm and still loves Garfield and Odie, even if he gets pissed off with the former a lot more. He's also incredibly loving towards Liz, who he finally got to be with romantically after so long (i'm super proud of him!!!)! He's also still the loveable dork he's always been, even more so now! He's a chatterbox and always has something to say, he loves expressing his love for the accordion and his other niche interests and hobbies, why does everyone seem to hate him!? He's quite unlucky, but he's loveable nonetheless!! For that, I give 2000s Jon a 17 out of 20 in personality!! A frustrated yet loveable DILF who might be slightly insane; my favourite kind!!

Uniqueness - 2000s Jon is unique in the way that his personality is yet again more developed. This is probably the lowest his sanity has been in ages, and the 2000s cemented Jon as the strips' butt monkey, something which depresses me since Jon is so much more than that. It also cemented Jon's dwindling mental health in the Garfield fandom, something I'm interested in, but also depresses me a little because I just want Jon to be okay and happy. Overall, I rate 2000s Jon a 3 out of 5 in uniqueness to other Jons.

Personal significance - Ahh, the 2000s. That was my decade, I was born in that one! So I must have some sort of personal attachment to that era of Jon, right..? Not really, actually! And that's really surprising too, seeing as how I grew up in the early 2000s and liked Garfield. But as said before, 80s Jon was my Jon, and I don't remember reading many of the 2000s strips as a kid, so 2000s Jon doesn't really have too much personal significance to me, unless you want to include GMG again. Though I do have an attachment to Garfield's Scary Scavenger Hunt by proxy of me having a huge attachment to old Flash games, so what the heck, I'll give him credit that!!! So, 2000s Jon only has a 3 out of 5 rating, but that doesn't mean he isn't special to me at all! He just wasn't that prominent or present in my childhood, is all!!

Extra details - He's so cute when he has his eyes wide open and he's smiling, he looks so happy and joyful! 8 bonus points!!

How did 2000s Jon do? Well, according to this calculator I searched up on Google, 2000s Jon gets a 46 out of 65, including bonus points! Kinda low, but not bad at all! 2000s Jon may have ranked lower than most, but that doesn't mean I don't love him at all; I love him a LOT!! You did great, Jon! I'm proud of you!! :D

2010 - 2019

Physical attributes - In the early 2010s, Jon looked a little... Weird? Like not in a bad way, but I think it's the fact that his hair looks smaller, his face just looks taller y'know? However, as the art styke yet again continues to evolve, his hair begins to return, and now I can run my fingers through his locks once again! Not to mention that his face is still quite chubby and round, giving ample space for him to rest his head in anyone's hands. And it's either the framing or Jon's gotten taller because man, does he tower over the kitchen table! I like a man who's tall... But then again I also really like short gremlin men... But! Seeing tall Jon again is exciting and always a welcome sight!! I don't really have much else to say other than this Jon? Pretty good Jon! And my, does he look lovely when he smiles! I'll give 2010s Jon a solid 7 out of 10!!

How thick he is - Glad to know Jon's still thick as ever! That ass is LIVID, 8 out of 10!

Personality - Not too much has changed since the late 2000s. Jon's still very erratic and nervous, often having mood swings between apathy and fits of rage and excitement. However, he absolutely adores Liz unconditionally like the loving father and now boyfriend he is! She's the world to him and it's so cute!! Jon still has absolutel love for the accordion and his other interests, proving that nothing can truly break this man's dedication to what he truly desires. He's still our loveable dork, still wearing funny suits, caring for his little family and just being him! Overall, Jon gets a good ol' 18 out of 20 for his personality!

Uniqueness - 2010s Jon isn't really that far from late 2000s Jon, so there aren't too many unique qualities that make 2010s Jon that different I'm afraid. However, in the very late 2010s, the artstyle gets a bit of a glow up and Jon's hair gains three little tufts near the back and they're so fucking adorable!! I'll talk about it way more in the next time period, but oh my gosh it's so adorable and it's great to see another major change to Jon's curly bouncy hair!! 2010s Jon unfortunately only get's a 2 in uniqueness to late 2000s Jon, but I still love him unconditionally regardless!!

Personal significance - Not too much personal significance other than, again, GMG. Really weird considering the early 2010s were when I spent so much time on the internet, but back then I wasn't really that interested in 'Garfield' as much. Unfortunately, 2010s Jon only gets a 2 in this category, but I want him to know he's still special to me regardless of his score!

Extra details - "Isn't that your phone?" That wasn't a bee, that was something else that makes a bzzzz-ing noise......... 10 points

Roll in the results, Garfy Baby! 2010s Jon gets a solid 47 out of 65, including bonus points! Not bad, Jonny Boy! Not bad at all! Pretty darn good, in fact!! Great job my man!

2020 - Now...

Physical attributes - Wow, Jon really got a glow up didn't he? Jon's eyes remain as big and adorable as ever, and his facial structure has become more round and circular again, and it's perfect for holding in your hands!, Oh, and not to mention his hair!!! His hair is so cute! As I mentioned before, Jon's hair has a little three-pointed thingy at the back and it's absolutely adorable! It really reminds me of Luigi's hair! Jon, you look incredibly cute!! Ahem, where was I... Oh, right! Jon still retains a lot of his tallness which I always appreciate seeing back again! Jon's back may still be really arched out, but man, have you seen this guy with his shirt off?? Damn, the things this man could do... AHEM.... A-Anyway, fear not, for Jon's pants are still blue, and will probably remain that way for quite a long time! Also, more than 20 years and he still hasn't missed a single leg day!? That's insane! You know, I'm feeling generous! 2020s Jon gets a 8 out of 10!! Lookin' good, man!!!

How thick he is - UPDATE: JON IS STILL THICK AS HELL!! 44 years of ass, that's an achievement! You deserve a medal, Jon! 8 out of 10!

Personality - 2020s Jon, while still having moments of apathy and modd swings, seems a lot happier now that Liz has settled into his life. He's still out loveable dork and a complete hopeless romantic, but he's a lot happier now, I bet. He's incredibly quirky and airheaded, often forgetting and misplacing things by accident. He still LOVES the accordion and even uses it against Garfield to get him to eat his veggies, absolute power move! His fashion sense is even more wildin' than before, often combining silly shorts with silly hats and colours that completely clash with one another. He's not a complete shut-in, but he's more reserved and we really only see him hangin' out with Liz in the house, which must take quite a toll on his mental health and it worries me. However, he has a tight-knit family who loves him and cherishes him for who he is, and for that, he loves them back. He's still pretty unhinged though, but I think his mental health has made a slow improvement since the late 2000s. Progress, Jon! Progress will get you to where you deserve to be, keep trying buddy! And with that said, I give 2020s Jon a cool 17 out of 20 for his personality! Quite the enjoyable guy, don't you think?

Uniqueness - Jon certainly has more uniqueness than early 2010s Jon, though unfortunately not by too much it seems... Though, 2020s Jon has a cute little quirk with his hair, and in my personal opinion, he's gotten quite the glow-up compared to several other characters! So you know what? I'll give 2020s Jon a 3 out of 5! I seriously really love his hair though, it's absolutely adorable and I might adopt it into how I draw him!!

Personal significance - It's surprising; I have more of a personal connection to 2020s Jon than 2000s or 2010s Jon. Is it the time period of me getting a Jon fixation therefore being more interested in the recent strips? Maybe! But whatever it is, I'm pretty attached to 2020s Jon regardless, I think I might give him a 4 out of 5!

Extra details - "Did you accidentally take Odie's medicine again?" Dog Jon is a good Jon and that implies Jon takes a certain medicine and frequently mixes it up. 10 points!

And what does good ol' Jonny Boy score say! I believe it's a cool 50 points, including the bonus ones! That's quite a fine contender, Jon! I'd say you come... Second? No, third? Wait, let me just add these up...

So, the finals places for the sexiest Jon in the main strips are....!

80s Jon - 1st place - 53 points

90s Jon - 2nd place - 51 points

2020s Jon - 3rd place - 50 points

70s - Early 80s Jon - 4th place - 49 points

2010s Jon - 5th place - 47 points

2000s Jon - 6th place - 46 points

Well, it seems my suspicions were correct. According to this bizarre and disorganised point system, 80s Jon turned out to be crowned the sexiest comic Jon out of them all! I'd like to give a big congratulations to 80s Jon and all the other time periods of Jon who have blessed the world of 'Garfield' with their existence as a sexyman! Now, I'd like to end this off with a quick message that, no matter what thw victory may be for once specific Jon, no matter how much I may have my favourites here and there and no matter what type of Jon media I may enjoy the most, please let it be known that Jon, no matter what time period you are from, no matter how you may evolve to be over the years, I will still love and cherish you, just the ame as I always have. You are special to me. You have always been special to me. And you know what? I want you to know that even if you don't look as flattering in one time period compared to another, it doesn't matter that much because you are still you. You are still Jon. And I love you, man.

And so with that said, I'd like to conclude this entry of The Jonicles. I most likely won't be able to write a new one dor a week at least because of my.... stupid exams, but rest assured that when they get out of the way, Entry 28 will soon commence, and I'll be back to my usual Arbuckle simpery in no time!

This one's been a long entry... Last edited at 9:04 pm JESUS

It's time i formatted my entries properly, this one has an actual title now!! I could say something else of value, but I'm really, really tired right now, so you know what? Jon is neat. Be like Jon. Goodnight!

Cheers,

Your Local Jonnoissuer

Posted at 9:22 pm

#jonicles 27 #AUUUUGGGHHH #JEEZ this is long.....#WHO IS THE HOTTEST OF THE JONS???#JON DEATH BATTLE #every jon from each time period goes at each other's throats #i'm watching at the sidelines with a cuppa tea like ''ah.... dilfs....''#i wanna draw that now

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muladsworld · 10 months

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Pink shirt daze

It's all downhill from here.

At 8:01 pm CDT on June 24th at US Bank Stadium in Minneapolis (night 2 of The Eras Tour there), Taylor Swift gifted me the funniest moment in my entire life, with more innuendo than I could possibly imagine. Is she a mastermind? Well, yes, but even she'd have trouble making these dominoes cascade in a line.

Now, statistically speaking, with all of the cameras at the show, the way her stage is laid out, and the number of dance moves and playful moments with the crowd, she's gonna appear somewhere in someone's videos or pictures to move her hips in front of the faces of just about anyone in the stadium.

Still, there's something inexplicably magical about Taylor Swift that creates moments that seem particularly crafted for you, and this turns out to be the wildest such example for me so far: Really? You're telling me we're not just talking about just some general dance moves, but Taylor specifically taking the time to act like a fairy princess, literally waving her finger around the stadium like Tinkerbell's magic wand in order to get reactions from the crowd? That's what you're going for? Now you're going to say there was real-life pixie dust in the air. The writers for this season of my life have got some explaining to do.

Even on the day it happened, June 24th was considered an epic stop on this epic tour, since we were the first crowd to hear her perform "Dear John" in 11 years, and she also played "Daylight" – a personal fave of mine, and the moment where I felt the greatest resonance with her that night.

Now, I had a good seat for the show – down in the lower bowl part of the stadium so I could see the whole stage, although it was often difficult to both watch Taylor on the huge catwalk-like extension through the center of the stadium and see her much bigger video image on the video wall of the main stage.

So, there I was a few days later, scrolling through TikTok and finding videos from people who had been on floor and were much closer to the action than I was. I saw a bit of pink go by and realized, "hey, that's me!" I'm lucky I had enough foresight to actually get a noticeable shirt, though it was a decidedly low-effort option compared to so many of the costumes that people made.

I commented on the video and re-shared it, not thinking too much of it at first, since I figured it was cool to simply see myself in the same shot as Taylor.

And then I watched it a couple more times and realized my head was hanging by her butt for about the first 15 seconds. I commented as such with an embarrassed-face emoji.

And then I watched it a few more times and watched my face disappear behind her derrière. And saw her mouth and eyes open wide in excitement as she her swirled her finger around.

Holy shit.

I scroll away to other videos for a bit and then realize, oh hey, that video had a lot of likes. Like over 100,000 likes. And approaching 700,000 views.

Oh god.

Views and likes have continued to climb, and it reached 1.3 million views after a week, and is now up to 1.4 million views and 230,000 likes.

And to top it off, once the weekend hit, Google Photos saw that I'd downloaded the video, and decided to make an animation out of it that covered the precise moment where my face gets hidden – how did that algorithm even know to pick up that moment? However, it was pretty jittery, so I ended up taking the time to stabilize it, and the result is at the top of this post.

Now, if you're reading this, you've probably figured out that I've somehow managed to not actually be that embarrassed by this. Objectively, it's a cute video where's she's having fun pointing at people in different parts of the stadium who are all too happy to wave back at her and add to the enjoyment of the show. It's just that for me specifically, the video gains a completely different meaning, and the already epic night becomes a bit more special for me than anyone bargained for.

I've tried looking around for other photos and videos that include my section from show night, but haven't found anything showing me so far. But it's also wild that I got very close to being included in the primary image from Taylor's social media posts about visiting Minneapolis. This happened just after she performed the opening songs "Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince" and "Cruel Summer," just before beginning "The Man."

She moves downstage in the video such that I end up being just out of the right-hand edge of the frame at the moment the image was captured, and I think I'm also just out of the lower-left corner of the image posted to her accounts.

"I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night," is one line in "Daylight," and boy does that hit the nail on the head with how I felt prior to getting into her music. It's humbling, though, to see how many other people have also felt transformed by what she creates or have had special experiences related to her. It's easy to get existential about those things, just because of how insanely profound they can feel in the moment.

She has a unique gift to tap into something about love and relationships in human nature that is difficult to explain. The songs can resonate so intensely that you feel the walls and air around you vibrating as though there's an earthquake, even if you're just listening on headphones. I just hope she remembers to use that power for good.

Anyway, thanks to Kylie Berger (ky_berger) on TikTok for somehow being in exactly the right place for this. I can see other people taking video in her shot, so I have no idea why her particular video went viral enough for me to see it. It's going to make me laugh for years to come.

And here's a link to a Flickr album of my photos from the show, so you can see what things looked like from the other end:

flickr

And @taylorswift, I hope this content is up your alley.

hell damn fart

#taylor swift #minneapolis ts the eras tour #ts the eras tour #there's a monty python song about this right?#tswiftgif

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dreamkidddream · 3 years

Note

So far of reading your writing, I really love it! :)) May I request Kunikida, Dazai and Ranpo having an younger member of the agency being a sort of subordinate of them but acts a lot like a younger sibling to them? She's just really pure hearted and soft and really looks up to them so she likes helping them out a lot. Just some fluff because my boys deserve all love and affection

Awww thank you so much for the compliment!! This request is so cute, and yes, all the boys deserve all the love and affection that is possible cause they go through too much 😭 Anon requested this as platonic, and reader is gender neutral. Also, I wasn’t too sure what the age should be, so I went with Kyoka’s age, which is 14. Hope you enjoy!

TW: Mentions of suicide in Dazai’s part, but nothing too heavy or specific is mentioned. It does get kinda sad though, but it has a happy ending. Also, slight spoiler for season 2/Dark Era Arc, but nothing too major

Young ADA Member Acting like a Younger Sibling to: Kunikida, Dazai, and Ranpo

Kunikida

Okay, so when you first started at the office, people (specifically Naomi and Junichiro) were nervous when you got paired up with Kunikida. And Kunikida isn’t a bad man by any means, but he can be very, very, very strict

And how well do rules stick with kids/younger people? Exactly. It just sounded like a bomb waiting to explode

And you look so soft and so sweet! What if he made you cry?!

Which Naomi threatened to draw blood if he did

Even Kunikida himself was nervous. This was not written in his notebook to be a glorified babysitter!

But the President insisted, putting faith into you that you’ll be a great addition to the team and that he can lead you on the right path and not into trouble like some people he won’t mention (Dazai)

That was all that he needed to hear, and he took those words very serious. He won’t let the President down, and he wasn’t going to let you down either. You guys were gonna give it your all, whether you were ready to or not

But, to everyone’s surprise (really his) you both adapted well. You treated him with respect, said yes sir, no sir, tidied up both of your desks (which were right next to each other), you even tried to abide by his stern schedule without any complaints

You were a great help on missions too, you didn’t recklessly throw yourself into danger, and you made sure to look out for citizens to keep them safe and out of danger

And that wasn’t it, oh no

You made sure to bring him snacks (atleast the ones that he said were ideal), made sure that he was keeping hydrated and not tensed up all the time (working in this office will do that to you), and to make his workload as light as possible

After seeing him go off on Dazai for the 1000th time and getting wound up over a case that wasn’t getting any leads, you saw how stressed and frustrated he was getting. Mumbling to himself about how could he “replace the President if he couldn’t do this right”So you tapped on your shoulder, with one goal in mind: To comfort him

When you tapped his shoulder, he turned and yelled, “WHAT NOW?!”, right into your face

Time stood still as everyone froze, shocked. Even Kunikida himself after he saw it was you.

He felt immediately guilty, about to apologize for losing his cool when you began speaking

“Mr. Kunikida, please don’t stress too much. It’s not good for your heart! And don’t let this one thing stop you! You’re a great leader, and someone that I look up to. I wouldn’t be where I was at now without you! So please don’t doubt yourself, because we don’t, especially me! You’re my role model, Mr. Kunikida. Please, don’t ever forget that.”

After that, it was like a flip switched in him

“(Y/N), come here and walk very slowly.”

You did so with no hesitation, but you were curious

“Your shoe is untied. Here, let me tie it for you. It wouldn’t be ideal if you get injured because of a lousy shoelace. It wouldn’t be ideal if you got injured at all.”

“(Y/N), we have lunch scheduled at exactly 12:15. They’re also serving your favorite today, so we can’t be late, understand?”

“Yes sir!”, you said with a smile

“(Y/N), let’s go. It’s getting dark and if you still want to see that dreaded light show, we have to leave in 20 seconds to make it! I don’t want to see you sad or hear you complain if we miss it.”

“Coming sir! Just finishing up some work for tomorrow-“

“I already have it written in my notebook on when it will be done, so we can go.”

“Here you go Mr. Kunikida, I already typed up and printed out the reports for later on!”

“Thanks kid. And you don’t have to keep calling me Mister okay? Kunikida is fine.”

Dead silent in the office

KUNIKIDA is letting someone way younger than him just call him KUNIKIDA? Not MR.KUNIKIDA???

Everyone is, realistically, shook

But as time went on, they understood why

He came to look after you as his own

The entire ADA would have never thought the day would come (it wasn’t even in the notebook!) where he would care for a kid like his little sibling but here it was, right in front of their faces

But they weren’t complaining at all. You seemed to make his day a little brighter, and he wasn’t as uptight as much (but don’t be mistaken he was still Kunikida, just at an 8 instead of a whole 10)

After that mini pep talk that fateful day, he made it his duty to be a good role model for you. To always set a good example, both in and out the office.

He wouldn’t fail you, and he would be damned if he let anything happen to you

You’re a good kid, and you only deserve the best. And he was gonna be the best role model (and brother) for you

Dazai

Aw man, he was..conflicted to say the least

Listen, it’s not like he hates kids or teens, but it’s just extra responsibilities to watch over them. And he already slacks off enough to begin with, so is this really a good idea sticking a 14 year-old with him?

And lowkey, the way that he treated Akutagawa is still heavy on his mind, and he doesn’t want a repeat

But the President made it so, and Kunikida was ready to attack if he even thought about denying the order. Plus, it could be like another Atsushi around (another person to pass work off too) so that was a win!

And another person to annoy Kunikida too

You looked so pure and innocent. Are you sure that you’re in the right place?

He genuinely thought you were a lost kid when you came up to him the first time lmao

Geez, you even sound sweet too! How has this world not damage or corrupt you yet?

“Hi Mr. Dazai! It’s nice to meet you. I hope that we can make a great team, and that I’m here to help if you need anything!”

“Nice to meet you too. And now that you mention it, these reports have been giving me a hard time...”

Not gonna lie, he did take advantage of your help. You offered, so why not? He thought you were gonna get sick of it soon and start complaining, but nope

You took his reports and did it with no hesitation every time. And you always handed it to him with a bright smile. On top of that, you always cleaned up his area and behind him, you did any leftover work that he ignored forgot to do so that he wouldn’t get yelled at, and tried to bring him small snacks and even packed a whole lunch for him when you noticed that he didn’t eat a lot

He even started to feel pretty bad and he was getting disapproving looks from his fellow detectives (even Kenji, and he never frowns)

So he started to take back and *GASP* actually do his work?!

But you stopped him, and told him that he should, “Take it easy! You work hard enough as it is saving the city. It’s no problem doing these reports, and I want to help you in any way I can, Mr. Dazai.”

“(Y/N), don’t worry, I can do them. And remember it’s just Dazai, calling me Mister makes me feel old like Kunikida-”

“I HEARD THAT!”

And it seemed like you really cared for his wellbeing, especially when you had to accompany him on missions

Well, it just so happen that while you were going with Atsushi to find Dazai to start a mission, you both found him

Hanging upside down, sinking to the bottom of the lake

You rushed into the water immediately, pulling him out and onto the ground while Atsushi was just standing there in disbelief

Atsushi is so done with his shit

“Dazai, can you hear me?! Dazai?! Atsushi, I gotta give him CPR I don’t think he’s-”

“(Y/N) don’t worry he’s okay! This isn’t his first time he’s done this, and probably not the last.”

“W-what do you mean?”

You didn’t know about Dazai’s suicide methods? Did he not tell you or talk about it in front of you? Atsushi would have been somewhat proud of him if this whole situation didn’t happen, but here we are

“Geez, guess this method isn’t for me. It seems like someone is bound to always inter- hm, (Y/N)? What are doing out of the office? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

You hugged his chest tightly, not caring that he was practically soaked down to the bone

“Please stop, Dazai! Why are you doing this? Why are you trying to leave everyone?! Why are you trying to leave ME?!”

That got his attention

“Your life is important, Dazai, too important to try and end it on your own terms! You’re special to me, I look up to you. You’re smart, funny, and you help everyone out in your own special way. If you weren’t here anymore, everyone would be so lost...I would be so lost..,I-I-I wouldn’t know what to do-”

“(Y/N)-”

You looked up, eyes red and puffy with tears rolling down your cheeks, but filled with determination

“I promise you that I will make sure you know how much you matter to everyone. I swear on my life that I will.”

Okay, so you know how you were helpful/adorable before? On a scale of 1-10, you were definitely at an 11. But Dazai felt like you were at a 20

At first, he thought that you weren’t being genuine. You were just a young kid who didn’t know any better and was just trying to do your job, in sickeningly, oversweet way. I mean, who would really care about him with his horrid past? He was convinced that you were just naïve, and that the world would swallow you whole when it gets the chance. And it made him feel pity for you

But you proved him wrong

You weren’t just some ignorant child. You were in this agency working alongside him for a reason. And you reminded him of that everyday when he saw you working, handling the cases, taking actions on missions, all the while being kindhearted through and through

You especially went out of way for him, and it was both a warm and scary feeling. People that he ended up caring for shared an undeserving fate, and he blamed himself for it constantly. So he tried to keep his distance, for your safety. You still had a life to live, and he didn’t want to ruin that for you.

But it was kinda hard to when you work together, and with you constantly being under his wing trying to show him the good in life and the difference that he made, he couldn’t help but admit it

You proved him wrong, and not a lot of people can say that.

You went out of your way to make sure that everyone was okay, mentally and physically. He didn’t want to admit it, but you made the office (and his life) a little bit more bearable when you were around. You’re a good kid. And it was so fun to rope you and sometimes Atsushi into his schemes lmao y’all can be so gullible sometimes

Unfortunately, he still planned to leave this world, but he tried not to talk about it in front of or around you, and his number of attempts did dwindle, so that was a good thing

“Hey (Y/N), let’s grab something to eat, I would be a terrible person if I let my dear little baby assistant go hungry.”

“Dazai, if you’re hungry, you can just say that. I don’t mind finishing this later. It’s good to eat when you need to, and your health is #1 priority!”

He couldn’t take back his past and the way he abused Akutagawa, but he could certainly make sure that he doesn’t make the same mistakes

And that would start with being a decent role model for you. He won’t exactly be a “model citizen”, but he will always do the right thing. He’s turned over a new leaf by turning to the light, and while his methods aren’t always legal, he won’t stray from it again

And he won’t let you stray either

Ranpo

He was not a happy camper at all, let me tell you

Hello, do you know who he is?? He’s the greatest detective in the world! Why would the President think he need a sidekick?! He saw you working under him as an insult. Were they trying to say that he wasn’t good enough on his own?!

You weren’t exactly welcome with open arms, but that was okay! You were a complete stranger to him, but you were hoping that would change overtime

And Fukuzawa offered to praise him if he took you in so he stopped pouting momentarily

“Hi Mr. Ranpo! I’ve heard great things about you, and I hope that we can get along!”

“Well, of course you’ve heard great things about me, I’m the greatest detective in the world! It would be a crime if you didn’t hear about me.”

It was a rocky start between you guys to say the least. Not only was he lazy with the work he already had (I mean, it was too easy for him), but you were always willing to complete it (which you did, when you realized that maybe he was too tired or had other important things to worry about)

Who are you trying to fool, this man was just being lazy

But you either didn’t realize it or you just purposely ignored it to get it done for the sake of the agency. Bless your pure heart for putting up with that poutyface

Despite that, you handled everything with positivity and pride. When discussing cases (even though he would solve it in under a minute), you already had the reports ready to go, took notes for him, and you even tidied up his desk (which really consisted of his snack pile)

And you were starting to grow on him. You were like his mini cheerleader/#1 fan. His ego was going through the roof

On missions, it was a piece of cake for him, duh! With his ability, Super Deduction, it was always easy. And you were in the background, in awe with everything going on. He wanted to say he was surprised, but he would be lying. It would be a downright lie if you said you weren’t impressed with his ability and with him in general.

You repeatedly praised him, and he always gave you the same response:

“World’s greatest detective, remember?”

The one thing that would cause him to see you in a new light, was when he got lost. You remembered Kunikida mentioning that he wasn’t the best at navigating the train system

He really said that Ranpo didn’t even know how to read the schedule, and that someone had to always walk with him to make sure he was going to the right places.

He just wanted to go back to the office to his beloved snacks, when this happened. He wasn’t stupid by any means, but it was a waste to use his ability on something trivial as this-

“Mr. Ranpo! Wait for me!”

Just as he knew, you were running late meeting him

“Hey (Y/N) what took you so long?! My beloved snacks are calling for me back at the agency, and I need to answer-”

“Don’t worry, I packed you some!”

“Yeah, I already knew that since that’s the reason you’re late. And before you ask, you look out of breath, the receipt is still crumpled in your hand, and I see some crumbs from something you already ate on your clothes.”

Huh. Was it that obvious? You guess so...

Or maybe Ranpo really is the world’s greatest detective!

“I know, I know. I’m the best, no need to tell-”‘

“Mr. Ranpo, you deserve all the praise that you get. You’re someone I want to be like when I get older.”

“Hm?”, there you go praising him again, but you were crying

“I feel like people don’t take you seriously like they should, Just because you don't fight like the others doesn’t mean that you’re not a valuable asset to the group! And I wish people saw you like how I do! You’re my inspiration to do my best everyday. And I know that I can’t be the best detective, but I want to be as strong and intelligent and brave just like you so I can save people and be a motivating hero like you!”

He’s silent, and your words are sinking in. You’re wiping away your tears, the start of an apology on the tip of your tongue, when he suddenly put his hand on top of your head

He’s staring right at you, glasses on and green eyes open for you to see

“You’re already on your way there (Y/N). That I know. And I’m never wrong with my deductions, let alone when using my ability.”

The flood gates have OPENED

You know that he doesn’t technically have an ability, but that doesn’t stop you from accepting his words and finding them as the truth. If Ranpo said it, he meant it. He was the world’s greatest detective, and you didn’t have any doubt in him

“Now let’s go, it’s going to start raining and I don’t want us to be hungry and drenched. Plus, Kunikida is totally freaking out and thinking that we’re both lost and in some criminal’s hideout right now.”

After that fateful day, the dynamic shifted between you two. Instead of you just doing the work, he pushed it off on someone else so he could explain to you about the different cases he had to solve, and other detective matters

Really he was just bragging and having you both slack off, but it didn’t matter you guys were still having fun

It even got to a point where he shared some snacks with you from his sacred snack pile

BOY WAS THAT THE TALK OF THE OFFICE

All in all, while he knew that you couldn’t be the greatest detective (that was his title after all), he would help you get to your goal regardless. Not that you would need a lot of extra help, he was watching over you after all, and you already have a good head on your shoulders along with the heart of a hero

Every Sherlock needs a Watson, and he deducted that it wasn’t too bad having you by his side

#bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs reader insert #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd imagines #bsd headcanons #bungou stray dogs headcannons #bungou stray dogs #dazai x reader #ranpo x reader #kunikida x reader #dazai headcanons #ranpo headcanons #kunikida headcanons #bungou stray dogs imagines #platonic #platonic headcanons

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we-are-inevitable · 3 years

Note

title:

stranger (like something old has joined with something new)

because i miss big fish LMAO -💥

okay i'm sure we ALL know where my mind originally went: jack and davey fall in love, jack and davey break up, jack and davey get back together and have a happy ending. i have written SOOO many fics with this premise.

but that's not what i'm gonna talk about.

so, when i think of this,, my mind immediately goes to some sort of reincarnation au. i know that there are so many of them out there for Newsies (because i've probably read all of them lmfao), but it's one of my favorite tropes! i've just personally never written anything like it, so this was really exciting for me!!!

anyway, the fic would start in modern era. jack kelly is 26. he's an artist, and by some miraculous stroke of luck, he's already pretty successful in the art world; social media has probably helped him a lot, but his paintings are really good. he usually does photorealism, but he dabbles in landscapes and abstract design; he sells prints online and does personal commissions and he truly loves what he does.

but there's one thing tying all of his pieces together: a boy.

it's someone that jack has no recollection of ever seeing, and it's almost unnerving how natural it feels to put this boy into his paintings. well, maybe not "boy"- he looks slightly different in each one, in terms of age. never looking younger than 15 or 16, never looking older than 24 or 25. sometimes, he shows up in the form of a silhouette. sometimes, he's just another face in a crowd. sometimes, all you can see of him is a hand, with fair skin and long finger. more often than not, his face is what's captured in most detail: eyes a brilliant blue, framed by strong brows and an angular nose, with sharp cheekbones and a striking jawline.

jack doesn't know why he seems to show up in every painting (beside personal commissions). jack doesn't know why this boy's design is so engraved in his brain. no one ever notices the commonalities.

jack doesn't understand, but then he runs into a man, who can't be more than 24 or 25, on the subway. the man looks familiar. eyes a brilliant blue, framed by strong, dark brows and an angular nose, with sharp cheekbones and a striking jawline.

and this man is a stranger. jack knows he's a stranger. jack knows he's never spoken to this man before.

but before jack can stop himself, he says the name "davey."

he's obviously caught off-guard by himself; jack had no idea where it came from, since he doesn't know this man, and he's ready to apologize and run away when he looks up and sees the man staring straight back at him, frozen, like everything has finally clicked.

and the man nods, bewildered, and whispers, "jack."

and the rest is history! i'm a sucker for artist jack, of course, and i love it when jack has a Thing that shows up in all of his works, and it's even more special when that Thing is davey :) i loved this thank u !!

send me some more fake fic title prompts!!

#i would imagine that there would be a Big Memory Realization Moment that would absolutely fuck them up though #like both of them would be so out of it for the next few days at least #especially if all of their memories were coming back and they couldn’t tell which are Old Life memories and which are New Life memories #also since jack would paint davey !! i feel like davey would write about jack?#he has such a vivid character in his mind for so many stories..... and the character in question is jack !!#and there's always been something really familiar about the jack in his stories but he's never quite put his finger on it #thank u !!!#ask a jac !#rizz tag #jack kelly #newsies #davey jacobs #david jacobs #javid #javey #reincarnation au

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doublerainebow · 3 years

Text

Artist Resources (Part 1?)

This is basically just going to be a bunch of resources I have found to be useful. I can’t say that I’ve used all of them, but I’m sure they’re all worth checking out.

I’m also gonna try to put a detailed description for most of the links so you have a better idea of what you’re getting. I apologize in advance if some of them are redundant lol

(I put “Part 1″ if in the case I make another one)

~Links to Tutorials, Tips, Resources, etc~

Another Resource List -- Leads to another Tumblr post. Apparently, the post isn’t mobile-friendly, so it’s suggested to view this on Tumblr browser. Has a bunch of other links. I’ve checked out a few of them (mainly the copyright stuff lol), and it seems that some of the links may be a bit outdated. Still, it doesn’t hurt to check out the links.

Arms and Legs -- Leads to another Tumblr post. A handy tutorial on elbow and knee placement.

Art & Game Dev -- This leads to my personal playlist of a bunch of YouTube videos. Has a bunch of tutorials and interesting videos that I’ve collected over the course of a few years lol.

Blamblot -- A website that contains resources and tutorials on comic lettering. This is primarily in reference to western comics, but it doesn’t help to take a looksie.

Commission Calculator -- Leads to another Tumblr post. Helps artists to stop selling themselves short.

Comparing Heights (hikaku-sitatter) -- A height comparer for centimeters.

Comparing Heights -- A height comparer for feet and inches.

Mouth Shapes and Lip-Syncing -- Leads to another Tumblr post. Useful for... drawing mouth shapes.

Reference Angle -- Useful for when you’re trying to map out a face from an odd angle.

Soft Proofing for Printing -- Leads to another Tumblr post. Helps when you’re trying to make prints of your artwork.

Textures -- A website full of different and mostly free textures. While this website is made for 3D texturing, it can also be useful for 2D drawings. Signing up gives you 15 free credits everyday, and you can use those credits to download some textures for free.

The Models Resource -- A website of models ripped from a wide array of games.

The Spriters Resource -- A website of sprites ripped from a wide array of games.

The Textures Resource -- A websites of textures ripped from a wide array of games.

~Links to Stock Images~

Please check out whatever policies they may have for their images before using them!

(not sure if any of them are active anymore as I followed some of these accounts a long time ago when I used to be more active on Deviant Art lol)

adorkastock (formerly senshistock)

anatoref -- Leads to another Tumblr post. Has a bunch of hand photo references

charligal-stock

HumanAnatomy4Artist -- Does contain nudity

null-entity

PhelanDavion

RobynRose

~Links to Other Artists~

Akihito Yoshitomi -- Yoshitomi is a mangaka who has tutorials on manga making. He also has an insightful series in which he drafts and draws a 30-page manga in 18 days. Remember that every artist works differently and his process may be different from another’s.

Drawfee -- Drawfee is an improv drawing show of four artists: Nathan Yaffe, Jacob Andrews, Julia Lepetit, and Karina Farek. While they don’t have tutorials in a sense, their videos explain the different processes they go through as they draw. They also occasionally provide tips, tricks, and resources in their videos. They do have another channel and a Twitch channel where they host drawing classes in addition to other fun shenanigans.

EtheringtonBrothers -- Has a bunch of useful and eye-catching tutorials called “How to Think When You Draw”.

Mark Crilley -- Mark is a comic artist, specializing in manga, who has a bunch of tutorials about anatomy, perspective, comic making, and other things.

Miyuli -- Miyuli is an artist who posts tutorials on their Twitter. Their tutorials range from anatomy to clothing to other things. They even have a few books of art tips. Currently (as of the time of posting this), their 2018 version is free for download, so I highly recommend you download that. Some tips may be outdated, but they should still be helpful.

Whyt Manga (Twitter/YouTube) -- Odunze is a comic artist, specializing in manga, that has a bunch of tutorials on manga making and drawing characters of color.

~Links to Free Programs~

Blender -- A free 3D program if you’re into 3D modeling and such. I also personally haven’t used Blender (I use Maya lol), but I know it’s a respectable program.

Krita -- A free painting program if you can’t afford Photoshop or Clip Studio Paint. I personally haven’t used Krita, but I have recommended it to a few friends and they have positive reviews about it.

Paint Tool SAI -- Okay, this one isn’t free, but it’s a significantly cheaper painting program where you don’t have to pay a subscription. It’s 5,500JPY (~50 USD). I’m not sure how well it still works on modern computers (the last update was 2016), but I still use it here and there because I love the pen tool feature it has, and it still works like a charm for me.

~General Tips From Raine~

Raine admits that she’s guilty of not following her own advice, but Raine hopes that the tips that she does know will be beneficial to someone who will follow them. She’s also going to keep all her tips under the cut so as to not make this post a huge wall of text (even though it technically already is lol)

Also, if you have some resources, tutorials, tips yourself, please feel free to send them to me and maybe I’ll make a part 2 to this post!

ALWAYS LOOK FOR REFERENCE. This should really go without saying. You can’t draw from life if you refuse to observe life itself.

If you can’t find the exact thing you need, MAKE YOUR OWN REFERENCE. Time and time again, I can’t find something exactly that I need. So instead, what I do is that I take pictures of my own reference. Sometimes I even grab a friend and take pictures of them doing whatever it is I need.

Have a mirror handy when you’re drawing. Sometimes what you need is actually right there in front of you.

Having trouble drawing something? Do some studies. Take the time to understand what it is you’re drawing. I can’t remember the exact story, but I heard that the people who were working on Tarzan were having a hard time drawing his hands. So, what they did was spend a few hours looking at hands to try and understand how they work.

IT’S OKAY TO STUDY THE ART OF OTHER ARTISTS. Just as we look to the old masters as a reference, it’s definitely okay to look at modern-day artists for reference. Just don’t go copying exactly everything that they do, or worse, trace what they do. Just don’t do it... at all.

Not every line needs to be realized. The viewer of your work will automatically connect the dots.

DO NOT TRASH YOUR OLD DRAWINGS. Please, never ever do this. Your old drawings have value to them, even if they look terrible to you. Old drawings may hold ideas for things you could do for the future. They also serve as a way to see how far you’ve come as an artist.

GETTING BETTER AT DRAWING TAKES TIME AND EFFORT. You’re not gonna get better overnight. It’ll take months, or even years, to feel like you’re a competent artist, and even then, you’ll still have room for improvement.

DON’T LOOK DOWN ON YOURSELF IF YOU’RE TAKING A LONG TIME TO GET BETTER. It’ll be better for your mental health in the long run.

Alternatively, DON'T LOOK DOWN ON OTHER ARTISTS EITHER, ESPECIALLY TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER. You know the struggles it took for you to get where you are, so don’t go putting down other people when you’ve been in their shoes once.

KEEP DRAWING. If you’re not making an effort to get better, then you’re not going to be better. I get that it’s hard to find the inspiration to draw (I’m very guilty of this), but just keep trying. It doesn’t have to be big or spectacular. You don’t even have to post it if you’re the type who likes to post their art stuff.

Try to find references from real-life. It’ll help you better understand form, lighting, shadows, etc., especially if you’re going for a more realistic kind of art style. Otherwise, finding reference from things like cartoons, anime, comics, etc. are just as good.

Try new things. Try new art mediums. Try a different art style. Switch up the way you do things. Maybe you’ll hate it, maybe you’ll like it. Who knows if you don’t try.

Watch time-lapses (or speed draws/speed paints) of other artists!

Pinterest and Google are your friends if you need tutorials or references or whatever.

If you’re offering commissions, DO NOT WORK UNDER YOUR LOCAL MINIMUM WAGE. You are literally devaluing the work you actually put into a piece.

I like to think I’m an aficionado of Photoshop, so feel free to ask me questions on how to achieve something! I’ve used Photoshop for about 11 years now and know my way around the program. On another note, I do recommend setting custom keyboard shortcuts in Photoshop because the default shortcuts are terrible (in my opinion), and because having custom shortcuts increases the speed of your workflow.

Because I’ve been seeing this a lot lately in Twitter, you’re never too old to start in art. Art is just one of those things that anyone can pick up at any age because the only thing you really need to get good in art is time, diligence, and patience.

Try not to post hi-res images of your artwork to prevent art stealers from selling your artwork in high resolution.

Always, always, always add your signature and watermark on your artwork. I like to add my signatures and watermarks in places that’ll be hard to erase or crop out. I’ve also seen people add their signatures and watermarks in creative ways (ex. on a character’s shirt). You need to protect your work in an era where people will just blatantly steal it and make profit off your work.

Tag List

@reality-is-often-disappointing

#artists #artists on tumblr #artist tips #artist resources #art resources #artists of tumblr #art tips #art tutorial #raine rambles and muses #raine can art

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Ducktales: The Treasure of the Lost Lamp Movie Reviewcap! (Patreon Stretch Goal)

Hello all you happy people! And we have a special review today for two reasons. The first is that this is my second patreon stretch goal review, having hit the 15 dollar goal back in march thanks to my wonderful friend Emma, the same patreon whose responsible for the Green Eggs and Ham Reviews, who helped me hit the 15 dollar goal. As a result you fine people are getting three movie reviews each based on a Disney Afternoon Movie with Treasure of the Lost Lamp today, a goofy movie at the end of the motnh for a weeklong tribute to my favorite dogmandadguy. Extremley was going to be part of it but the length of this review convinced me otherwise, but I will be doing it this summer so keep an ear out. If you want to help me hit my next stretch goals do yourselve a favor and zip on over to my patreon YOU CAN FIND MY PATREON HERE. My next stretch goal at “OH Look 20 Dollars” would give everyone patreon and not, a monthly review of Darkwing Duck as decided by my patrons, reviews of BOTH season 2 mini series from Ducktales 87, introducing Fenton to the world and blighting it with Bubba before the 2017 series fixed him, and as a brucey bonus added last month a review of Danny Phantom the Ultimate Enemy. And if that wasn’t enough if you help me get to the goal after that at 25 unlocks another trilogy of disney film reviews, this time for the proud family and recess movie and the best kim possible movie, and dcom period, so the drama as well as Bryan Lee O’ Malley’s two stand alone graphic novels, lost at sea and seconds for you Scottaholics in the audience.

The other reason now the shilling’s done. is that the plan WAS to review this back to back with Treasure of The Found Lamp, to the point the orginal review had a whole thing about that, why it was delayed etc... but now that review’s been scrapped all together as something sudden and wonderful happened. After just kinda giving up someone came through with a translation of Della’s first apperance so presumibly i’ll be doing that as part of the build up to mother’s day, and since I still want ot do maternal instincts too, and already had to let the Floyd Gottfredson birthday special slide away as well... it had to go as I want to leave the only open space on the schedule for the lovely person who found the story for me. But this review is still done, i’m very proud of it so join me under the cut won’t you?

Behind The Scenes: Before I get into it i’d just like to note this article from SyFy Wire. It , along with articles I found via wikipedia citations, was an invaluable resource.

The film was an experiment: It was an experiment to see if one of their tv properties could bring in theatrical money, to see if a movie made on a cheaper budget and still rake in decent money, to see if a film could be made being outsourced to several diffrent places, and to see what one of those places, their recently aquiried french stuido, could handle this kind of work.

The film, if succesful would be the first of Disney’s MovieToons line, a series of films based on their shows. As you can tell by the fact only this movie and Goof Troop happened and the Movie Toons label wasn’t applied to that one it very much failed. While the film was warmly recevied by people who liked the show general audiences didn’t turn out for it. As a result the MovieToons label was scrapped, future projects with it were canceled.. but the stellar work put in by the french stuidio lead to it perserviering for several more decades and lead to them working on the Goofy Movie, which we’ll get to later this month but needless to say was a MUCH bigger hit with a much bigger budget.

As for why the film failed... I have two theories. THe first is that parents were stupid back then and didn’t want to pay to see something on the big screen they could see on tv’s. This is a stupid mentality to me as generally a movie of a tv show puts in a ton of extra effort and usually goes bigger and dosen’t go home. It’s a likely theory given most liscened films of the era didn’t do quite well, with all three hasbro films tanking. And look I get Transformers the Movie is cheesy and killed a lot of people’s childhood toys, but damn if it ain’t aweosme.. and also something I need to cover at some point. Thankfully this died out by later in the 90′s with Rugrats getting a hugely succesful if flawed film, a better sequel and a third one that was also a crossover with the wild thornberries.

And even now in 2020 we’re getting the Loud House and Rise of the TMNT movies sometimes this summer, we were SUPPOSED to have gotten the bobs burgers movie this summer but arne’t because Disney is being a dick about it.

And we got a phineas and ferb movie last year. With this trend hopefully thsi means we’ll get a Ducktales 2017 movie at some point since season 4 left a huge sequel hook laying right there to grab for a feature film. One final note: The film was conceptually thought up as a 5 part serial like “Treasure of the Golden Suns”, “Catch as Cash Can”, “SuperDucktales” and “Time is Money, something that DOES show as the movie weirdly has act breaks. In a feature film. Yup.

The Guest Cast:

I won’t go into the full cast since I’ve sung Alan Young and Russi Taylor’s praises PLENTY on this blog before, and I plan to go into Beakly and Launchpad’s actors when they show up in the pilot movie. But i’d be remiss if i didn’t talk about our three guest actors for our three new parts.

First up is Merlock voiced by legend and if I had a hall of fame, hall of famer Christopher Lloyd.. I need to get me one of those. Lloyd is of course known for playing Doc Brown in back to the future but has done countless other films, voicework, and other good stuff. Among his MASSIVE filmography includes The Back to the Future Trilogy (Already mentioned it but it bears repeating), Star Trek III, Who Framed Roger Rabbit as the pants destroyingly terrifying Judge Doom, The Addams Family duology as fester, a role rip torn would ironcially play for the animated series made to captalize on said movie, Hey Arnold! The Movie, The Oogieloves in The Big Ballon Adventure (Look everybody needs money sometimes okay?), and Art of the Deal: The Movie, which was not, thankfully an ego filating nightmare made by trump himself but a film made by funny or die parodying his terrible book and having Llloyd return as Doc Brown. TV Wise he’s known for Taxi, Back to the Future the Animated Series, Cyberchase and he most recently popped up on Big City Greens. How I missed that ep I.. do know as I haven’t watched season 2. Gonna fix that later this month. Lloyd is utterly awesome, a great guy and thankfully still alive at the time of this writing, so I was happy to have him here.

Less familiar to me but still known is Rip Taylor, a comedian known for his flamboyant unique way of speech and his marvelous mustache. He showed up in things occasionally and always seemed like the nicest guy and his passing in late 2019 truly is sad. He does a terrific job here but more on that in a moment.

Finally we have Richard Libertini, a comedian I never really saw in anything besides this who according to IMDB was most famous for his ablility to do a foreign accent. I REALLY hope all of them aren’t as horribly racist as this one. We’ll.. get to that in a sec as it’s time for the plot!

A Treasure Uncovered:

We open our film gorgeously. The animation is great in the film, having some rough edges I chalk up to the film’s hectic production, the studio being new at working at disney properties, and the film not being meant for HD. That being said a few rough spots here and there aside.. the film looks ungodly gorgeous. Like most theatrical films based on a cartoon it takes an already great style and makes it look great. It feels like a more fluid evolution of the cartoons look and it’s a shame we didn’t get more movies in this style for both this show and others, ESPECIALLY Darkwing Duck. Can you imagine a Darkwing Duck movie with this lush animation? Hopefully we’ll get one eventually.

So our heroes are going to somewhere in the Middle East. That’s.. that’s all wikipedia gives me and all the film gives me. As usual Scrooge is after treasure in this case the Treasure of Collie Baba, the greatest thief there ever was based obviously off Ali Baba from 1001 nights and that one Beastie Boys song.

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It’s here we find the WORST thing about the film, the thing that makes this a hard one to watch depsite otherwise being pretty good, and that makes my skin crawl knowing i’m a white man and a BUNCH of white guys, Ducktales series creator who did the voice casting for this character, the writers who wrote him, the direector disney them fucking selves who thought this was okay.

The film has some horrible steroytping. It starts with a bunch of backgorund guys surronding Scrooge, with crooked teeth and steotypical voices. This on it’s own is odious.

It somehow gets worse. Then we meet one of our antagonists. We meet Dijon.

This Fucking Guy

Djon is horribly offensive reminding me of other such luminaries in being ungodly offensive yet somehow getting put to film as Jar Jar Binks (With all respeect to his poor actor Ahmed Best, this is not his fault), Rob Schinder as a Sterotypically asian preist, Skids and Mudflap, Rob Schinder as a sterotypically mexican bandit, The Whitewashed cast of The Last Airbender, and Rob Schinder as a stereotypically asian preist. What i’m saying is Djon is an AWFUL, horribly offensive character.. and that Rob Schinder should be shot up into space, not to watch cheesy movies, he’s not funny enough for that, but instead to be sent to a satlitie that’s liveable, but also filled to the brim with spring loaded boxing gloves. Just tons of boxing gloves that feel like getting punched by a heavewight boxer all hidden... they could hit his legs, his face, his nuts, his face and his nuts, the point is he’s in constnat pain unless he moves carefully.

And lest you think i’m exaggerating for starters this is his design.

It just screams “vaugely but sterotpyically middle eastern” along with cowardly. The fact he’s also a literal rat is just the icing on the cake made of broken glass, shrapnel and broken DVD’s of Transformers; Revenge of the Fallen. They say if you eat a reveng eof the fallen dvd John Tutoro appears at the foot of your bed and watches you while you sleep.. and by they I mean me. It was a bad bet. I got rid of him with some insese and a bribe of five dollars.

Oh but that’s just design.. when he talks it’s MUCH worse. His voice is like if they took Apu from the simpsons and said “This but MORE offensive”, and his perosnality is WORSE. He’s a thief.. and not in the endearing loveable rogue way but he’s a pick pocket and a running “Gag’ is that he’ll often grab eveyrthing within reahc. As the deisgn shows he’s a coward running at every opportunity. Oh and to top it all off he’s the willing servant of the white coded, given all ducks in this series are white coded and voiced bby white actors, big bad. And the actor is naturally VERY white to make this cocktail of offensivness so complete that if Disney ever got rid of this film I GUARANTEE the republcian party would be running in with accusations of cancel culture gone amok and never shutting up about this like they did the muppets. Which for the record THEY DIDN’T CANCEL THEM, YOUR POINT IS ILLEGITMATE, THEY JUST WANTED TO BE SENSTIVE YOU GHOULS.

I do have a reason for bringing up Disney’s content warnings... most damming of all given just how DEEPLY uncomfortbale this character is.. there isn’t one for this movie. I double checked: There isn’t even wanring notes on the website. It’s just.. on there. And given just how ghastly a sterotype Djon is.. that’s not right. Seriously they DID put them on certain episodes of the show, theyk now this sort of thing is wrong and they done wrong.. but for NO reason they haven’t done so for a film released 31 years ago. Around the same time as the series and just offensive as that show at it’s worst if not more so. This is flatly inexcusable.. par for the course for Disney’s incompetence but still horribly furstrating, disgusting and shameful.. which has been the theme of the last three days really. I expect better because when it comes to putting that warning label on this stuff, they usually are better. First the scheduling mixup and now this. You already do a handful of things wrong Disney why add this to the list?!

It’s just draining not only to run into another Disney Fuckup after a weekend of dealing with one of their worst in recent memory, but just to watch Djon. To see this horrible caractrure saunter onto the screen and go on with his harmful schtick, to see that THIS is what Ducktales 87 reduced non white people to more often than not. It’s remarkable just how throughly and awesomely Frank and Matt completely and totally reversed this. Instead of horrible sterotypes in the reboot, we got TONS of loveable people of color, an endearing latino hero, a smart african american buisness woman who takes no shit but is still a consumate professional, and an egyptian HERO with an intresting story and a strong moral code instead of this horrible reminder that racisim in media was such an afterthought not ONE person brought this up during the scyfy wire stuff or in any inteview i’ve seen. No one cared. Djon was POPULAR enough that he got three episode sin the series. THREE FUCKING EPISODES. This film could be GOOD.. but it’s just so bogged down EVERY FUCKING TIME this artists interpreitation of what Tucker Carlson sees when he looks at a middle eastern person I had to pause to compose myself and had to take a break writing this review to avoid tyiping this in all caps and using the phrase YOU RACIST MOTHERFUCKERS every other sentence. And again i’m white, I get this is second hand offensiveness.. I do... but it dosen’t mean I can’t be offended other white people were so callous about other cultures behaviors this happened.

And what makes me feel worse.. is that I just sorta... never thought about white people voicing non white characters. Things like this I noticed sure, I realize now part of the reason I didn’t like this movie the first time I saw it was this alex jones version of a looney tune, but I do feel shame for not noticing or caring long before this. Sure I loved it when a character of color got played by a person of color.. but I didn’t realize just how deep that problem was and how LONG it went on for before the outcry post george floyd and the call to action lead to most shows still going course correcting. It’s why stuff like this extra botehrs me: because THIS was just as okay at the time. No one blinked twice about this and odds are the creators involved still haven’t. And that.. that’s just terrible and it hurts to think about and I still have most of the movie to go.

The Pyramid of Peril:

So we do get a gorgeous unvewling scene of a box Scrooge found out about from Collie Baba’s horde that should lead them to the treasure. This scene reminds me of Indina Jones.. and I bring this up because the poster was specifically made to mimick an indinia jones poster, to the point of getting drew struzan to do it. THe creator of Ducktales objected..l but I do not get WHY. While I”m not sure if he had yet, Speilberg flat out admits the Carl Barks comics were an inspiration for Indina Jones, with the iconic bolder chase coming from a similar scene in one of Barks Stories. Gotta cover that too. So yeah I don’t get not wanting an indina jones style poster when both were inspiried by the same work and it’s just simple logic and it looks so neat. Thank you.

Scrooge finds seemingly just clothes.. and a map. Jeff Dunham’s Most Racist Puppet reports to his master, Merlock. Merlock is a.. meh villian. Christopher Lloyd does try.. but Lock is your standard evil overlord wants to take over the world type. He dosen’t have much depth, or personality and only his style saves him from dragging the film down along with Dana Carvey’s most racist disguise in master of disguise. He does have a deent shape shifting gimick and being played by Christopher Lloyd means he’s acted TREMENDOUSLY. Alan Young was apparently in awe watching him work and that’s wonderful to hear. The guy did his best. Weirdly Merlock would show up in tons of other works, mostly video games.. but even weirder he NEVER showed up in ducktales 2017. Both Djon and Gene would, Djon thankfully renamed we’ll get to all of that tommorow thank god. I need it after this. But Frank has outright said they didn’t use Merlock because there simply wasn’t anything they could do with him they couldn’t dow ith magica. My likely guess is the might of found a way to revamp him EVENTUALLY, it’s not like radical revamps weren’t there thing come on, they just had way more stories with Magica and didnd’t get around to it before the show was canceled. Just make him some sort of evil god or something. it’s what I might do. There’s a lot of angles with him. Though I would’ve still gotten christopher lloyd back. I mean most of the recasting is good but he’s still alive and deserved a better shot at things.

So Merlock sends Djonn to go with scrooge as his guide to find the treasure, as there’s something of imense power within it. And I gotta ask WHY does Merlock need a minon. No really. This isn’t a situation like reboot magica where he’s trapped in another realm. He can shapeshift into any animal. We only see him use falcon, rat, cockroach and bear but theoritically he can become anything and bear alone is still a LOT. Why does he need this sterotype even other sterytopes ar eashamed of? The film dosen’t NEED Djonn. Just let Christopher Lloyd monologue and leave this post 911 propogranda cartoon at home.

So our heroes nad rejected jar jar prototype head into the desert, and seemingly find nothing before finding a small pyramid all while Merlock follows desecretley as a mighty hawk.

Scrooge makes the boys and Djon dig... because they clearly forgot the “work hard” part of his ethos.

Our heroes unveil the pyramid... and while Merlock SAYS he searched the desert and I get it’s hard to see thourgh all of that.. the dude is immortal, had decades to search and had Mickey Rooney there on standby to force him to go comb the desert. I have an artist rendering of that hang on

So our heroes enter the pyramid and it goes.. really how you’d expect: there’s a bunch of traps our brave explorers have to pass, the boys minintpret a juinor woodchuck saying about loosing your marbles to mean using the ones they actually have which geninely comes in handy as they trip the traps and Rob SChinder as a carrot stumbles into one. Also launchpad is wearing a hawaiin shirt and shades. This has no baring on the plot, but it does bring the movie up a notch in my book and I question why the reboot never used this outfit. Then again they also never properly used Donald’s Quack Pack Outfit (Which bad show or not, is objectively awesome), or his Quack Shot Indiana Jones Riff Outfit, so it’s not like there isn’t a presdecnt for not giving a character a cool costume change from a previous medium. I really should do a top 12 missed opportunities list for the 2017 cartoon.. the ideas for stuff are really piling up.

OUr heroes eventually find the treasure which has insidiously clever security the more I think about it: at first I thought it had none, just a pit with some... scorpions? I mean their supposed to be but they look like they crawled out of the same stygian hole in the sky Doofus crawled out of. And if your asking me “wait which Doofus” the answer is both. Both these abominations crawled out of a stygian hole in the sky.

But the treasure is on a platform surrounded by scoprions with the only way out being the trap filled way they came in. Unless someone comes in with a full team and a bunch of lootin sacks, they aren’t getting out with EVERYTHING. They can steal SOME of the treasure but there’s no way to get any signifigant portion... and the team thing itself is an issue, something Collie defintely predicted being a thief himself: while some thieves can work well as a team, hence why we have four oceans movies 3/4 damn good, and for the record 12 is the bad one, 8 is how you do a soft reboot and a female led reboot right, a good chunk of professional crooks will turn on each other or try and swinldle... and tha’ts dangerous in a trap filled temple but hey some criminals ain’t so smart. If they all were Rudy Gulliani wouldn’t have two razzies for preparing to pull his pants down, and have waved his phone around on tv like a dare for future adminstrations to arrest the shit out of him would he?

But Scrooge has his family so they get loading. But not before Webby finds the lamp. Not knowing about it Scrooge has no intrest in it, but Webby does. We also get a really simple but hilarious gag where SCrooge dickers over the idea for a second.. before Webby picks up a Jeweled tiara to possibly take instead. The best gags to me are often the ones that just let the character’s perosnalities take the lead and bounce off each other. It’s why when I reviewed the four lilo and stitch crossovers recently I harped on character interaction as their biggest weakness: it’s what MAKES a good work for me. It’s why my faviorite comics and shows often follow a loveable group of disfunctional misfits. I like a group of big personalities who despite in theory should NOT be able to work making it work anyway. And it’s honeslty what’s made Scrooge last so long: Scrooge on his OWN is awesome.. but iwth the boys, donald, and in the case of this series and the reivival Webby and Launchpad, with people to bounce off of who he contrasts heavily with, from Launchapd’s buffonery to Webby’s inehrent sweetness in both versions, to the boys genuine honesty and sense of adventure.... it makes him truly stand out. He’s a great character on his own, don’t get me wrong.. but it’s the people around him that give him chances to show WHY. A good character on it’s own is fine and dandy.. a good character with other good characters around them is where it gets truly special.

Merlock naturally bursts in and in a VERY Black Heron move needlesly outs what micheal bay sees when he closes his eyes as a bad guy... no really he grabs the guy with his talons as he captures the treasure and reveals he’s a bad guy. I don’t even get why keep Djonn alive. He’s done all Merlock possibly could’ve needed and Merlock is ruthless... this makes no sense and only happens because they need Djonn for later in the plot.

Our heroes barely escape, rafting out on the platform itself in a thrilling sequence.. but it’s the one right after that catches my attention. Scrooge utterly defeated, having searched for this treasure for forty years and unresponsive to everyone else. The anmation, coupled with the incomprable Alan young’s acting makes this the highlight of the film for me. Beneath the armor of wealth and skill.. is only a poor old man who just lost something he’s been chasing after most of his life. Scrooge tries his hardest not to be vunerable and both shows and the original comics all use that so when he truly is devistated like this, and i’ts belivible since this treasure is a personal goal of his and as someone who has had things that they seek out specifically, loosing them always hurts. It hurts to ALMOST reach a goal only to have it crumble out under you

But while this alone is good.. what’s next makes it great. Webby sweetly offers up the lamp. Scrooge turns it down, and her genuine gesture reinvgorates him and reminds us of who he is “I’ll find it if it takes another 40 years”> Scrooge may be bitter, mean and selfish a lot of the time.. but deep down, he’s a good man and one who will not give up, and a momentary setback can only stop him so long as long as he has his family to remind him of who he truly is.. and what’s truly important. It’s genuinely sweet and to me is also a reminder of why 87 Webby is a good character: Shes’ not perfect, her main personality trait is often Girl Sterotype”.. but she’s a genuinely sweet small child with a huge heart. It’s telling that while 17′ Webby is almost completely diffren,t and far better, that heart remains her biggest strength. Sure her reboot self could kill a man nad no one would ever find the body, but it’s her heart and empathy that makes that possible and makes her Webby. That inherent loving nature is what makes Webby webby wether she’s a toddler having a tea party or a tween getting ready to intergoate a guy with a meat tenderizer while saying ‘Cute girl stuff”.

Gene Genie Let’s Himself Go:

It’s a few days later and this is the point where it REALLY becomes obvious this was written as a bunch of episodes. Though to the film’s credit while it does ake this feel like a compliation movie as a result... it dosen’t hamper the film’s quality, condiment from Rush Limbaghs’ hot dog stand does that just fine, but once you notice it it’s impossible to unotice it. Weirdly though it seems chunked up into four episodes rather than the usual five, likely cutting down an episode, though I can’t see where they cut out material frankly if they did and i’ts just as likely they woudl’ve had to make one to fill in the space.

So Scrooge is in a mood, being grumpy with his secretary Mrs. Featherly, quackfaster in all but name, and having to be sent home. So while Duckworth goes to fetch him Webby polishes her treasure at long last readying for a tea party, something the boys roundly reject because their sexist little twits and swo were the writers or executies who assumed all little boys act the same. It’s easily my biggest pet peeve with the series as a whole: anytime this crops up with the boys it turns them into the worst dicks imaginable. It’s telling this, being mean about her wantin ga tea party with her surrogate brothersi s TAME. Normally they’ll say she can’t do things because she’s a girl or mock her hobies outright instead of just be mildly dickish. And while she dosen’t look much younger Webby is VERY CLEARLY, in this series anyway, supposed to be say 5 or 6 to the boys 8-10. 7 at most. SHe’s a small child and while it is realistic for older kids to bully younger ones, it’s not fun to watch. It’s why I get annoyed at all the big sibling bully characters.. some work, but most aren’t fun to watch because there’s nothing funny or intresting about it. It’s the same deal here.

Thankfully that quickly goes away as the lamp moves when Webby rubs it and does so again to prove it did move. Huey finishes it and we’re introduced to Gene, the best part of the film. Gene is a Genie and he takes a second to dart around before messing with the appliances in the kitchen, as he was last around during the time 1001 Nights Came About. Cleverly though, and so we thankfully don’t have 80 dozen fishout of water jokes that have already been done before. As you can probably guess i’m not a huge fan of time travel fish out of water stuff. Now from another dimensoin or planet, i’m on board with with Star Vs, Steven Universe and Sym-Bionic Titan being great examples of this, as is the comic resident alien. (Despite having the wonderous Alan Tuduk the show sounds way more mean spirited and misses the entire point of the comic as given by the author in the credits, i.e. that the alien is supposed to NOT be a threat and just be gently waiting for a ride) The inverse is also good with Amphbia and owl house, taking a human and plopping them into our world. But time travel stuff just usually runs the same beats of “look at the shiny thing” and what not. The only time i’ve sene something SIMILAR work is with thor where their society is SIMILAR to vikings time but still it’s own thing.. it also gave us a classic gag in..

So yeah i’m glad they dropped this and instead had a clever way around it: Gene reads the encylopedia at the mansion. Granted it’s Scrooge so I don’t know how current it is and given this came out in 1990 thus HOW racist it is. It’s not a questoin of IF it was, but how much.

But having caught up the kids confront him with the fact he has to grant wishes. This lamp runs on what I now realize are Aladdin rules: Whoever currently holds the Lamp is the Genie’s master, they only get three wishes, and that dosen’t reset if it changes hands. The only big diffrence from the usual is Gene dosen’t have to TELL them about the wishes like Genie did, and Gene very begrudginly agrees to it. He also seem’s phsyically pained when doing so.

So since all 12 know about him, each of the kids gets a wish though it seems unfair with HDL. Their one person, they shoudln’t get 9 wishes just because their brain is spread out over three bodies.

This film continues the weird simliarties to Aladdin by attaching rules though they instead come up as a result of our heroes talking rather than the Genie just flat out tleling them: both share the “you can’t wish for more wishes” thing, a common rule in these stories and usually only broken nowadays as a clever twist as the rule is SO common place, not having it is a twist. But it is there for a reason: to limit the sheer power of a reality warping wish. The wishes can also only go so far. In a nice line, when Huey, Dewey or Louie suggests wishing for peace one earth, Gene says “No pipe dreams’ He can’t bend people or reality on THAT scale. He can bend reality as we find out, but it’s smaller scales like turning someone’s possesions over ot someone else, warping the bin into a castle, or bringing inanitamte objects to limited life. Still HUGE feats worth of a genie, so Gene’s power isn’t so nerfed it’s unusuable, but it does explain why his evil pervious ownder Merlock, more ont hat in a bit too, didn’t just wish to have eternal dominon over the earth or something. Gene can do just about anything but he can’t change the world on a fundemental level.

And I do LIKE having rules in wished based stories like this, I chalk it up to growing up with Fairly Odd Parents... though they eventually went too far in the oppsoitie direction, pulling rules out of their ass to suit the episode, instead of simply having some very standard, very understandable rules that still pose challenges but don’t outright cheat so the episode can happen.

So Webby does her first wish.. and wishes for a Baby Elephant, something Gene is against as he prefers they keep the wishes small: otherwise he gets found out, and the fight over him begins. So one of the boys wishes him away. Or Webby does. Point is it’s gone though not before Beakly sees it and Scrooge smells something is up. Our heroes try to hide gene, but gene thankfully simply dresses up like a modern kid and thus is able to pass as a friend of there staying for the night.

So with the rules established and what not the kids find a clever solution: they simply go a ways away from the mansion into the woods, far enough from town to avoid any suspcion, and same iwth the mansion and just wish for all kinds of stuff: a giant bunch of ice cream toys, standard kid wish fufillment but it’s nice... in part because the kids treat Gene like one of them. Wihle they STARTED asking him about the wishes, this starts the bonding process. Soon he will be part of the hive mind.. SOON.

Until then though after using another wish to make scrooge not mad at them for coming home late and missing dinner, that night we find out Gene’s backstory.... and it’s an utter tearjerker. As it turns out Merlock wants him back because he’s Gene’s former master and as you’d guess.. it was NOT a happy existnace, used contstnatly to do horrible things with no power to stop himself. Pompeii and Atlantis were both directly Merlock’s fault and it was only Collie Baba stealing the lamp that put an end to his hell. He also answers the two obvious questions botht he audeiince and the boys have: How the hell is Merlock still alive and shoudln’t he be out of wishes then? The first is simple. Unlike pretty much every DBZ Villian whose WANTED to do so, Merlock wished for immortality first chance he got, taking the Zamasu route instead and thus leaving him free.

As for the wishes thing it turns out his amulet, in adition to shapeshifting, also gives him extra wishes becuase fuck it.

But the boys sweetly offer to protect him.

The next day, Apu’s Cousin let’s Merlock know the maps in the mansion and Merlock has him help sneak in with Merlock taking rat form. This backfires as Mrs. Beakley notices the form and chases after him with a broom

Meanwhile Webby has her tea party with Gene after he and the boys played cops and robbers earlier, and he’s bored.. though nicely not because it’s a girly thing, but because the stuffed animals aren’t alive and she naively has him fix that. This leads to

Which sadly is jsut scrooge vs a duck toy but admit it, you want that movie for Disney Plus yesterday. Call Charles Band Disney. CALL CHARLES BAND!

Whelp Scrooge Still Sucks:

Scrooge takes for a turn for the obnoxious in the next part, but i’ts fine by me as it’s part of the plot. Naturally this reinactment of Cult of Chucky has lead to Scrooge finding out about the Genie. To his credit, Scrooge is tactical about his wishes. As said by the Duck himself “I could wish for a diamond, no the world’s biggest dimaond, no ten world’s biggest diamond, no a diamond mind, no the MINING INDUSTRY!”

The sheer power this gives him is TERRIFYING, both because of his status.. and because unlike the kids who all wished for simple kid stuff and used up their wishes quickly, he both gets how much he can do with this and could conquer the world economy if he truly wanted to.

The obnoxious part comes in as he treats Gene as not a person, figuring he’s just there and forces him into the lamp despite the kids protests after Gene grants his first wish: Collie Baba’s treasure. It also dosen’t feel like the wishing nor him using the lamp to get the tresure back goes against his hard work ethos: for the former while he is getting all this magically, he’s still having ot use his wits to get the most out of it, and he did earn the lamp itself square. For the latter, he already earned the treasure square too and had it stolen. He’s onlyg etting back what’s by all rights HIS. Granted he plans on giving most of it up for a tax break but still it’s his by right.

However the reason his assholery works is twofold: first it’s Scrooge. While he’s not a TERRIBLE person, in the comcis and this cartoon he isn’t a GOOD person either. He DOES have a good heart and will usually do the right thing, but his first instnct is always to get more money and to be a cantakerous old bastard to eveyrone and everything. While he’s subtly grew out of “I hate eveyrone and everyone hates me” as his guiding principal, it’s still his defualt reaction to most situations. But he first relents by letting Gene attend the party, part of why the Collie Baba thing stung so bad was that he’s told the historical society he’d get the treasure for years only to come back empty handed, if shrunken. But he still manages to have a good time while Asok and Merlock infiltrate.. well I’mRunningOutofINsultingNIcknamesCanYouTell steals the silverware. Yes... that.. that really happens.

Look we’re almost done, i’m almost free of this racist mummies curse. Let’s continue. Gene sees melock and freaks and drags SCrooge with him and while at First Scrooge is cranky...

No but now I want a Donkey Kong Country crossover too dammmit. And to talk about those games. Another thing for the list. But Scrooge is righ tot be a bit surly...

Okay now your just pushing it. As Gene whisked him away without telling him anything other than vauge worries... but then he gets a full idea of why Gene’s so terrified when Merlock shapeshifts into a bear and starts breaking the door down. Eh, could be worse.

Gene shrinks them to escape and Merlock leaves thinking they fled but leaves Skids Minus Mudflap to go look for them. Scrooge sneaks out but bumps into a cart running from the photo you see when you look up stereotype on google. I mean I assume.. let’s try it.

Huh you know I HOPED but I never expected...

So Google Proving My Point plans to give his lamp to the master because of his weird Torgo-Esque obession with helping a man who clearly wants to murder him but takes his sweet time doing so because plot, and Gene figuring this COULDN’T POSSIBLY go as bad as Melock getting him urges the dummy to keep him and make his own wishes.

This goes about as well as you’d expect....

Wiped Out With A Wish:

Scrooge returns home to find Watto has wished to take his poessions, fortune, everything and Scrooge gets thrown in jail for breaking into his own house. We get two great moments back to back. The first is Scrooge lamenting loosing his fortune in jail, and realizing the sheer power and risk of the lamp, especially since he worked hard to earn it, every bit of it.. and Sam Wilson’s 70′s Backstory came in and took it all in an instant.

The second is Scrooge’s family coming for him, including Launchpad , Beakly and Webby obviously and bailing him out. Though Beakly is UNGOLDLY annoying in this scene, sobbing hysterically and adding nothing and it’s not nearly as funny as the film thinks. Turns out Goliath getting buried wrapped in chains threw them out.

Scrooge takes a bit to rebound from all this.. but eventually realizes something: he knows the security of the bin inside and out. He had it put in after all. So it’d be easy enough to break in. So they gotta break in to break out the lamp, undo this nightmare, and END THIS MOVIE. Seriously this review has taken two days as is I do NOT want to miss my invincible review.

So they break into the bin, and it’s a tightly paced Scene, scrooge going in one way while the kids go the other and we even get a nice callback as the marbels come in handy to get past one of the traps. It’s just a good scene. it’s only real flaw is that Launchapd just sorta disappears as does Duckworth despite the fact their in a plane, and the bin later gets turned into a floating castle. Kinda a plot hole to not have Launchpad crash in to save htem just saying.

Scrooge eventually does get to Djonn, whose been ignoring the imminent threat of Merlock while Gene sweats it out... and this backfires horribly as Merlock hitched a ride as a roach (Though there was a hilarious scene of him getting fried constnatly by lasers when Louie went through a laser hallway, as while Louie had the directions, it dind’t take into account passengers on your head.

So Merlock remanifests in full gets the Lamp and unleashes his wrath on Tin Tin in the Congo and turns him into a wild pig.

Not you sweetie. He then forces Gene to turn the castle into a fortress and float it back to his home in parts unknown. It’s a DAMN cool scene with impressive and horrifiing animation as the bin melts and crumbles into thte castle and the kids barely make it up the stares as they shift and disolve. Really top notch stuff.

Scrooge stands up to Merlock... and this naturally goes poorlyw ith Gene begging Merlock not to respond.. and Merlock having him blow scrooge off the top of the forgtess storm eagle style, though scrooge understands. And this is the true reason why scrooge being a dick didn’t bother me so much. Because it helps create a great contrast between him and Merlock. Both thought of Gene as a tool rather than a person.. but Scrooge grew to realize he was wrong and what he was dealing with wasn’t some magical goodies creator.. but a child forced to constantly grant wishes, in sheer agony to do so no less, likely so sick of it because again and again and again people used him as a slave to get what they wanted and to hell with what Gene wanted. He realized he was terrible for making this poor boy into his slave simply because that’s his job. In contrast Merlock could give no shits and is a malevolent monster who glefully uses Gene despite the pain the wishes put him through and his protests. It’s why Gene is the best part.. he’s athroughly likeable, throughly inncoent character with tons of personality and a truly tragic and horrifying backstory and Rip Taylor acts the hell out of every scene with the guy.

Thankfully the marbles come in handy one last time and Huey, Dewey or Louie snipes the lamp away and a struggle for it insues between Scrooge and Merloc mid air. it’s fucking awesome.. and it get sbetter in how scroogewins. He simply gets rid of Merlock’s amulet, taking it then throwing it. Grante dhe COULD’EVE used it for unimited wishes.. but it was too risky to do that and as we’ll see in the ending , Scrooge realized the Lamp was too powerful to keep around for much longer and too much of a tempting target for his rogues.. not that we see them this movie as the crew wanted it to bea ccesaible and thus kept hte cast to the main cast from season 1 and just made new vilians and a new supporting character, but still.

He does use his second wish though to undue the damage Merlock had done and the bin and clan mcduck are returned to duckburg in good condition.

Time for our ending, which is genuinely and wholly touching. With the lamp too dangerous to use Scrooge considers just sending it to the earth’s core, which horrifies the kids as it’d mean Gene would be trapped there forever... if the molten lava iddn’t just outright destory the lamp and probably kill him. But Scrooge.. isn’t the bastard he likes to potray himself as. Instead he makes Gene into a real boy. He gives the poor kid HIS wish, which designrates the lamp and undoes all the spells... so Merlock is PROBABLY dead but he does return for some games so maybe not?

And so we end on two things: Gene happily playing cops and robbers with the boys finally free.. and Birth of A Nation grabbing all the loot he can in his patns and running off. Ha ha ha thank god i’m done with this prick. And no I will not be looking at his ducktales episodes unless I have to.

Final Thoughts:

This movie is OKAY. It has a solid plot, gene is a wonderful chacter, the animatoin is pretty prettay pretty good, and the voice acting as usual is excellent, with Rip Taylor being the standout.

But as my paragraphs of rage shoud’ve made Clear Djonn is just BAD. Easily the worst character i’ve encountered in my year of reviewing and some of the worst writing i’ve ran into. And that writing includes a goblin man voyerstically forcing two teenagers to make out, making jokes about santa renaming himself Clem the sceneafter he tearfully confessed to letting the elves and ms. claus die, accidental transphobia via the u-men, and Bryan Lee O malley thinking we needed more than one volume of Julie Powers being around. This was disgusting, even by 1990 standards and especially by 2021 standards and it drags the film down considerably. Without it the film is okay.. with it the film is just VERY hard to watch any time he pops up. He made getting through the movie a nightmare and while I pause a lot becaue it’s a bad habbit I did so more simply because as I said earlier in the review I could not stand him.

It makes it a hard film to recommend. If you can stomach the racisim, then it might be worth it, but be aware of what your putting up with going in. But if you can’t.. there’s no shame in that, it’s carbombya levels of bad. Which yes was a real fictoinal country. It was so bad Casey Casem quit transformers over it. True story. So yeah, it’s an okay film, on par with the series at it’s best for the most part.. but Djonn just spoils it for me.

If you liked this review, like it, share it around that sort of thing and if you want MORE disney movie reviews, in addiiton to the goofy movie one later this month, if you help me hit my 25 dollar stretch goal on patroen.com/popculturebuffet, i’ll do reviews of the Recess, Proud Family and Kim Possible MOvies (Well so the drama anyway), so help me out would you and i’ll see you at the next rainbow.

#ducktales #ducktales treasure of the lost lamp #ducktales 87 #scrooge mcduck #rip taylor #christopher lloyd #launchpad mcquack #webby vanderquack #huey duck #louie duck #dewey duck #duckworth #bentina beakley #merlock #djon #faris djinn #movies #disney plus #disney

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h0neyjaehyun · 3 years

Text

☁︎ 𝐀 𝐜𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 ☁︎

Summary // Apparently everyone needs to go to the dentist?

Characters // Talia Flores + Park Jisung + Mark Lee + Yang Jeongin (I.N Skz) (ft. Chan(skz), Jungwoo, Haechan(Nct). Mention. Chenle, Jeno(Nct) Felix, Hyunjin(Skz)

Era / Year // January 2019

Word Count //

Some of the boys don't like the dentist and then some are okay. But the ones that don't, usually go to Talia to take them to the dentist since she is good a reassuring people and making them feel safe. So some dentist even know Talia's name even though she is not the patient. The people she usually takes is, Jisung, Chenle, and Mark and sometimes Jeno in Nct. While outside she takes I.N and Felix, and sometimes Hyunjin from Straykids when Chan can't or when they ask her too.

So she would usually say yes, and cancel her practice or recording for later to take them. But once for some reason three of them go on the same day?

"Noona"

Talia turned to the voice to see Jisung in front of her.

"Yeah?"

"Can you take me to the dentist tomorrow?" He asked shyly, embarrassed he is asking.

"Aren't you to old for me to take you?" She teased, he grown flustered.

"Im kidding I'm kidding, I'll take you. What time?"

"1 pm." He smiled happily, knowing his Noona will still take care of him.

"Thank youu."

"Your welcome." She smiled and messed up his hair.

She continued on with her day finishing some stuff up then got a text message.

BabyFox🦊:Noona?

Tali: Yeah?

BabyFox🦊: Can you take me to the doctors?

Tali: Ah depends which day?

BabyFox🦊: Tomorrow

Tali: What time?

BabyFox🦊: 1:20pm

Tali: Ah sorry baby no Im busy.

BabyFox🦊: oh its okay I can ask Chan.

Tali: We can go out to eat later though if you like?

BabyFox🦊: Yes please.

Tali: Alright at 3?

BabyFox🦊: 3 is fine, see you Noona

Tali: see you

Tali smiled down at her phone, happy that she gets to spend time with both her maknaes. But is sad she can't be there for Jeongin (I.N).

She got to her the dreamies dorm and went to her room since most of them were already in there rooms preparing to go to sleep. She went in and saw Mark laying there, looking like he is contemplating his life.

"Hey Mark." She said as he jumped at her voice, not noticing she entered the room.

"Hey, you scared me I thought you wouldn't be back for another hour." He said putting his hand on his chest. She shook her head at him and showed him the time on her phone, his eyes grown wide as he saw the time was already an hour past since she last texted him.

"It's been an hour and how long have you been here?" Asking him putting down her stuff and getting ready to do her routine.

"Apparently and hour." Her eyes looked at him with utter confusion.

"Why would you wait for me in my room?" Wondering why would he wait instead of visiting her in her studio.

"Well, I wanted to spend time with you and also your room is really cozy." He said chuckling, Talia shook her head.

"Well, I'm going to change and are you gonna sleep over?" Asking him while she gets her clothes.

"Yeah, can I sleep with you...that sounded wrong...can I sleep..next to you...that sounded okay, how about lik-"

"Yes yes you can." Talia giggled interrupting him.

"Theres some clothes of yours in that drawer it should be in a section called Mark." She pointed at a small dresser.

"You have sections for different members?." He chuckled grabbing the clothes

"Yes, yes I do.."

"Thanks Flower." He smiled at her.

"You're Welcome." She said walking in her bathroom and changing. She finished and knocked on the door.

"You still changing??"

"No you can come back."

She came in with Mark now under the covers, she smiled at him since he seemed so adorable. She turned off the light and went under the covers with him, he clinged on to her immediately. She giggled but she knew Mark wasn't just there to spend time with her, he had to have a question.

"So, why are you really here?" She questioned him.

"Can't I spend time with my favorite person." He said in a offended tone.

"Oh don't let Yuta or Chenle hear that." She giggled.

"No but really why are you here, I literally have dance practice with you at 10am which is....6 hours away..wait why we sleeping so early?" She said while checking her phone. He huffed and tighten his grip on her and layed his head on her shoulder.

"Are you free at 1?" He said softly.

"Sorry, no baby I'm busy 1-4 pm, why?" She said softly massaging his scalp slowly trying to make him fall asleep.

"Oh nothing, I just wanted you to help me with something, but I can do it." He said slowly dozing off.

"Ah okay, night Mark."

"Night Flower."

It was the next day, they got up and had breakfast and Mark was sulking the whole time until they got to dance practice.

"Why is Mark sulking?" Jungwoo whispered to Talia curious on why the younger boy was sulking

"I think its because I can't help him with something because I'm busy." Jungwoo's face went :0 in realization. She shook her head and they continued practice. Tali went back to the dreamies dorm and went to shower and pick up Jisung.

She knocked on the recording studio door, and Haechan open the door giving her a bright smile with a hug.

"BUB you came to visit me?" He said dragging her in the studio while hugging her, sitting down and her now on his lap now back hugging her. She chuckled at him.

"No, sorry I came to pick up Jisung." She smiled at him apologetically. Haechan's smile turned into a pout on his face.

"Ah don't do that to me, you know I care about you." She said now pouting as well. Haechan smiled at her.

"But do you loveee me?" He said in a teasing smile tightening his hold on her, she was caught off guard that was when Jisung came through the door.

"Oh noona you're here?" He said surprised, she nodded and quickly got off of Haechan successfully.

"Ay, where are you going?" He said now trying to reach out to her.

"Sorry hyung, noona is coming with me, let's go." Jisung said smiling at Talia and grabbing her hand and running out the studio.

"HEY!" Haechan yelled, laughing alittle at the antic, but inside he was alittle sad that Talia didn't say I love you to him, but he just needs to be a little bit more patient to hear those words again. He sat back down.

"Hm, maybe next time Bub."

Meanwhile Jisung and Talia now got in the car and giggling. She shook her head at him. They got to their destination and walked in, she could tell he was nervous.

"Hey its okay, sit down while I sign you in okay?" She said holding his hand and rubbing it to reassure him. He nodded at went to sit down and she went to the front desk, the lady smiled at her recognizing her from other visits.

"Hi again."

"Hi." Talia smiled at her.

"Ah, so which member did you bring today?" She said looking around and spotting Jisung.

"Jisung, the youngest." Tali smiled writing down Jisung's name.

"Oh I thought you were gonna bring the older boy, I think his name was Mark?" Talia looked at her funny.

"What do you mean?" She questioned.

"Well, Im not allowed to say, but you do bring him every time he has an appointment. So he is supposed to have a check up at 1...15." She finished, Talia mouth was open and like she had called for him the door open to see Mark in a mask and hat now making eye contact with Jisung. Jisung and him both looked surprised.

"I didn't know you were gonna be here?" He said now standing infront of Jisung.

"Me either."

"Who are you with?" Mark questioned, Jisung turned his head to the front desk, then Mark did and made eye contact with Talia she slowly waved him giving him an awkward smile.

"Hi." She said shyly. She sat down the pencil and walking up to him.

"IS THIS WHY YOU COULDN'T GO WITH ME, IS BECAUSE OF JISUNG?" He raised his voice a little bit to loud. She winced at the loudness.

"Sorry, I didn't know, I thought you meant music NOT THE DENTIST." She said.

"Noona?"

Talia turned around and saw I.N standing infront of her while Chan was signing him in. She stood there in disbelief.

"I thought you were busy?" He said now confused.

"Uh, I am, I was taking Jisung to the dentist." She said slowly, and blinking her eyes a lot, tryin to processes whats happening. I.N eyes go big on her.

"IS THIS WHY, NOONA THE BETRAYAL, YOU PICK HIM OVER ME??" He said a little to loud like Mark, she winced at the volume. Chan quickly came over and put his hand over I.N's mouth.

"Shhh, so you make me deal with this?" He looked at her, directing his eyes to I.N she smiled at him apologetically. She heard a person clear their throat behind them to see Mark looking at her.

"So you chose, the youngest over US." He said moving his hand to I.N and him.

"Well, he asked first..." Mark looked him in disbelief.

"I told you I was going to the dentist." Looking at Jisung for an explanation.

"Well, you didn't say you were gonna ask Noona to take you, either way aren't you to old for Noona to take you and also aren't you older than her?" He said now questioning Mark attacking him with questions. Mark was now caught off guard not expecting the youngest response.

"Aren't you too old too?" Mark retaliated. Jisung just shook his head.

"Im still a minor I have an exuse."

"Well-"

"Mr. Park can you please come in?" A nurse interrupted the bickering. Jisung nodded and grabbing Talia's hand in the process and walking away while the other 2 boys glared and Chan was falling asleep.

Tali shook her head at Jisung.

"What's with you." She said smiling at him holding his hand to distract him from his nervousness.

"I just feel special thats all." He said with a smug smile on his face.

"And why is that?" She said raising her eyebrow at him.

"Because you chose me."

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orionsangel86 · 4 years

Note

what are your thoughts on the deancas endgame.. how will they resolve the Empty.. any thoughts?

Ah that old question! How it pains us all! :P

What are my thoughts on DeanCas endgame now? Honestly it changes everyday!

When Cas first made his deal with the Empty, it seemed so damn obvious to me that it would be a lead up to overt canon Destiel. At the time I was pretty sure that there was nothing else that could bring Cas that level of happiness. Now I’m not so sure. Cas’s devotion to Jack has only grown, and the fracturing of the Winchester family at the end of Season 14 was a huge hit to him. I can now easily envisage something as simple as Cas being invited to carve his name on the bunker table being the trigger point, so long as Jack is alive and well. Being part of the Winchester family has definitely been the principle factor the writers have built on for Cas over the past season. I therefore think that if the Empty does come for Cas, it will be from something familial, something like Jack and the Winchesters all sitting around and them paying specific attention to Cas for doing something great, like actually stopping a monster, saving a ton of people, and doing it all the human way, leading to a very impressed Sam and a loved up Dean beaming at him and telling him to carve his initials, and making sure he adds the W.

As much as I would love it and ascend to fandom heaven if it happened, I don’t think the empty deal is gonna be triggered by Dean grabbing and kissing Cas up against his bedroom door, or even actually saying a very clearly romantic “I love you”. Not that I don’t think that will happen at all, but I feel the Empty deal will need to be addressed very soon, and I just can’t see any overt confirmation of Destiel in text before the very end (if at all) at this point.

Please let me explain my thought process on this before anyone get’s upset or jumps on me.

Season 15, imo, has done a lot for Destiel. Since the very first episode we have had a clear emotional storyline specific to Dean and Cas. Their relationship drama has basically fuelled the emotional heart of the season so far. It has lead to journalists, interviewers, and plenty of check marks on Twitter agreeing that whatever Dean and Cas have, it’s something very special, and important to Supernaturals beating core.

The fact is, Dean and Cas are already being written as a romantic couple. They are being written as two people who deeply love each other, to the point that they get ridiculously overly emotional around each other and when the other hurts them. Their relationship is constantly called out by other characters (Belphegor, Rowena) and mirrored to the more overt (however unfair that is) heterosexual relationship in the show (Sam and Eileen).

If we were still living within the era of the Hays Code, if this was The Celluloid Closet, then we would already be championing Destiel as an epic example of queer romance. It IS a queer romance after all. Destiel is real, it exists within the Supernatural story, and the SPN writing team including actual queer writers are 100% on our side and writing Destiel as best they can. This I am 100% certain of at this stage. As a meta writer, I am already validated that my reading of the show and of Destiel as a queer romance in the show is correct. Destiel isn’t something anyone can justifiably call us delusional for seeing anymore. We have come way far beyond that point here. If you see Destiel as a romantic love story, your reading is a correct reading because that IS the story the writers are writing. Season 15 has confirmed that with the Destiel break up story arc and Dean’s prayer. This I say with absolute certainty. Your reading of Destiel as valid and an actual queer love story is correct. It is the story they are telling. People can’t deny Destiel anymore because it is those deniers who at this stage look pretty damn delusional ya know?

I have bolded several lines above because they are important and I really want to stress that this is my stance on the matter. Do not let anyone try to convince you that I feel differently here. If you are a young queer person who sees yourself and your relationship in the DeanCas love story you are valid in seeing that. Exactly as it is, right now, without any need for further confirmation within the story. I am in no way trying to invalidate you by what I am about to say next.

I mentioned the Hays Code and the Celluloid Closet. If you haven’t seen the Celluloid Closet I urge you to watch it as it is a fascinating look into queer coding within the Hays code era. Also, quickly, if you aren’t aware of what I mean by the Hays Code it’s basically the code that Hollywood had to adhere to, setting out rules of what could and couldn’t be portrayed in cinema at the time. Here’s a link to the Wiki article on the history of queer cinema. The introduction of the Hay’s code also meant the introduction of queer coding and subtext rather than explicit dipictions of queer romance in cinema. When I refer to this in relation to Dean and Cas, basically what Supernatural is doing with Dean and Cas is exactly what was done to dipict queer romance in order to get around the Hays code during the era when it was enforced.

So when I say that Destiel is real and valid and being written as a love story, I mean that the writers are basically doing with Destiel what savvy filmmakers had to do to circumvent the Hay’s code during Hollywoods golden age.

Do you see the issue yet?

It is 2020. The Hay’s Code has been abolished for around 50 years.

I fully respect the SPN writing team for trying to tell the Destiel love story as best they can, but at this point in time, even with everything they have already given us, it is still subtext.

Subtext IS a part of the text. What is Canon? What isn’t Canon? Honestly? I’m done with the arguments about it. Believe what each of you want to believe. What I will say is that I don’t think we are going to get anything more overt from the show at this point. The reason I say this is because the writers have now had plenty of ideal opportunities to actually bring the Destiel love story into text. They could have had a single line in 15x07 that confirmed Dean and Lee had a romantic relationship when they were younger. It would have been so easy to do. But they didn’t. Dean’s prayer to Cas, in all it’s glory, could have given us one line more as well. We could have had a love confession. They could have taken it there. Again, it would have been so easy, and it was the ideal opportune moment for Dean to confess. But they didn’t.

I have gone back and forth on this particular question over and over again. The question being will Destiel be brought into explicit undeniable text by series end?

Again, I stress, this question is completely separate to the question of the validity of Destiel already within the text and I swear to God if I get a single argumentative person in my mentions coming at me because they’ve been brainwashed by *people* trying to twist and blur these lines I am going on an even bigger blocking spree to the one I’ve already been on.

In my opinion, the answer to this question resides not with the decisions of the writers (who I fully believe would make it overtly canon in a heartbeat if they could) but with the CW execs. I have my own theories about what goes on behind the scenes, and what I think Dabb has been fighting with since he first took over as showrunner in season 11, and I just really hope that at some point once this is all over we will get a big expose on the truth about Destiel which confirms my speculation and slams the CW execs for not wanting to go there with Supernatural in particular (something I have previously talked about here). I would love for the execs to have given the green light on Destiel being overt by season end, and I am still hoping they have been more lenient this season even if the okay is only for one small moment. Whatever we get or do not get, it will be at the hands of the CW execs and not the writers. That’s the one thing I ask everyone to please keep in mind whatever happens in the end.

As far as what I think may or may not happen...

I would love for the Empty to take Cas because Dean confesses his love and kisses him. Or even if the Empty takes Cas because of other things, having Dean then rescue Cas from the Empty in a poetic reverse of Cas rescuing Dean from Hell, with the big reunion being their overt textual getting together. I feel like the story could go in so many different directions right now as I don’t actually feel like the plot of season 15 is all that coherant so far. The main key notes were Dean and Cas’s relationship drama, Sam and Eileen’s reunion, Chuck messing with the boys and Jack’s return. I think that things will ramp up pretty quickly in this final run of episodes from mid March to the finale, and I think a lot of storylines will get addressed and resolved in a short space of time, at this point, if anything overt does happen for Dean and Cas, it will happen quickly, and the story will move on, or it will be left in the subtext until the very final episode, or it will remain in subtext completely.

Personally, I think that Dean and Cas’s love story will remain subtextual until the very end, with potentially an “I love you” from Dean that will be interpreted as platonic by all major media sources much to all of our frustrations (a repeat of the Season 12 Cas “I love you”) (As Dean needs to tell Cas he loves him as a plot point at this stage, regardless of whether it is romantic or platonic the story basically demands it be said). I am still quietly confident that Dean and Cas will end the season together in some way, either living or dead, I don’t think that their story or their individual story arcs work if they are separated, and I will be stunned and hurt the same way I was for Game Of Thrones if the show does take a different route.

Therefore, since I see the show ending with Dean and Cas together, I can potentially see them taking each others hands in one final shot that basically subtly confirms that they are an item without ever actually textually stating anything more or giving us a kiss or anything. I personally, would be very satisfied with this. If it doesn’t happen though, if I’m totally honest, I would also be satisfied so long as they are still together by the shows end, as I have continually stressed, Destiel is already a real and valid love story that totally validates me as a meta writer, even if it isn’t technically “canon” by all major definitions of the term. (Again I stg if anyone comes at me for saying this I am blocking without devoting a second of my time to arguing with you I am literally at zero tolerance on this ridiculous argument right now and refuse to be dragged back into the bullshit).

Whatever happens, I am loving what we are getting so far. I’ve really been enjoying this season especially the Dean and Cas storyline because it has been so intense and emotional and I LIVE FOR IT! :D I know I’ll be a puddle of tears whatever happens and I just hope that it keeps up this excellent trajectory because so far I’ve been really pleased with everything else we’ve got even if I was slightly disappointed by the show not pushing 15x07 and 15x09 just that tiny bit further into overt canon confirmation of Bi!Dean and Destiel. We’ll see. As I have already said several times, I am feeling pretty validated by my interpretation of Dean and Cas’s relationship over the past so many years I’ve been writing about them. I am confident that I will continue to feel validated as we reach the final run of episodes, and I will continue to be optimistic that Dean and Cas will get a satisfying ending together, whether that includes overt textual Destiel confirmation or not.

#destiel #deancas #supernatural #spn meta #castiel #dean winchester #spn speculation #season 15 #destiel dreaming #spn endgame speculation #destiel endgame speculation #my meta #the great queerbating debate #queercoding #hays code #asks #anon #Anonymous

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headoverhiddles · 4 years

Text

You're So Vain - Marilyn Manson x Reader [Smut]

Synopsis: You wear a Rob Zombie dress to your boyfriend's double headliner concert. This article of clothing has a certain effect on him, and it’s not good.

Notes: Heaven Upside Down era! I just banged this one out fast (that's what she said) and figured it's passable enough to post. Takes place in the same timeline as "Just For Me." Enjoy the light dom/sub jealous!Manson quickie! ALSO HAVE YOU SEEN HIS NEW HAIR FROM THE OSCARS PARTY???

His eyes meet yours through the mirror as he shadows his eyes. You can tell immediately upon your entrance into the room that he’s not pleased, and you can’t wait to hear why this time.

"What's that?"

You look at your boyfriend, to see where he's looking now. His eyes are on your clothing. "What do you think it is? It's a dress."

"Don’t need your attitude. Is that really what you're wearing? For the show?"

You sigh. He always has a way of making you feel special. "Yes." You spin around in your black and red dress, adorned with symbols, splatters and big "Rob Zombie" logos on it. "I think it's perfect, since you're playing the show with Rob, Twins of Evil, yada yada."

"I'm sure Rob’s going to love that," Manson says in a low voice, and the undertone of irritation does not go unnoticed by you. He sucks in his cheekbones to dust them with a powder puff of blue, and you dissect the darkness in his eyes. You can’t say you didn’t know this was going to happen, when you wore a dress with his co-headliner’s name all over it. You know how possessive your boyfriend can get.

Provoking? Of course that’s not what you’re trying to do...

You smirk, walking over to smooth your hands down his chest. "Jealous?"

"I’m not jealous. But you've got his name emblazoned over your tits."

"And whose tits are they?"

"Mine."

"The correct answer there would have been "yours," but the jury will accept it."

Manson grumbles some more. "When did you even get it?"

"I ordered it."

"With my money?"

"Look, I'm supporting my friend. He's in the band."

"In case you don't remember, Ginger was my drummer for 15 years."

"Well, he's not anymore. What do you want me to say?! I'm not gonna wear a dress with you on it! I've got you on my body every other night of the year, I don't need it tonight."

"You don't think I'm going to fuck the shit out of you tonight?"

"Not at the rate you're going," you tease.

“Watch yourself.”

“Make me.” It’s a clear invitation, up in the air.

Manson looks like he's about to literally growl, but turns back to finish his makeup, sulk, and down his three "complimentary" glasses of stadium beer. It’s not worth it to start anything with you ten minutes til showtime, and you have to say, you’re disappointed he doesn’t make a sport of it.

When your boyfriend goes out on stage first, Zombie's band comes in through the backstage, along with your best friend from when you two worked in Vegas together. "Kenny!" you grin, jumping into his arms. He picks you up in a hug, that drummer strength useful in boosting you up.

"Ah, (y/n)! Glad you could come on this leg of the tour. I was so excited when I heard we were playing with Manson again, couldn't wait to see you."

"We're definitely meeting under calmer circumstances this time," you smile, arms wrapped around him tight.

He laughs, remembering all the backstage shenanigans from the late 90s touring days with you along for the ride. "Yeah, it's much more chill with Twiggy and Pogo gone. And Manson's toned down a little I guess."

You cock your head. "In a manner of speaking."

"It's kind of nice. It's like we've grown up, you know?"

"I don't think Manson will ever grow up," you laugh. Ginger pulls away to look at your dress, finally noticing it.

"That's super cool... what did he think of it?"

You giggle. "What do you think he thought of it?"

Ginger shakes his head, remembering the fiery look of pure rage his ex boss had given that one guy from the pit at that one concert in 1999. The guy’s never gonna change, I swear.”

Rob comes in, punching the air. "Ready to fucking ROCK!?”

"Totally!" John calls from a distant room.

"Woah," Rob says, "You must be (y/n). Ginger's told me all about you."

"All bad?"

"Jesus, yeah. Heard about the time you got plowed on stage in '99. Typical Manson. Cool dress." Rob looks at your outfit. "Really cool. Hey, what's up with your bf?"

"What? What about him?"

"He's crashing and burning out there. Crowd's pissed, whiiiich means I'm gonna have to save the show."

"Shit..."

"Bad day?"

You sigh, and walk out to the wing. Rob's right. The crowd is practically rioting, and they're not the only ones who are pissed. Manson seems to be out of his mind, singing Kill4Me with a particularly hard edge and apparently a version that skips every third lyric. He then launches into an overly aggressive rendition of The Beautiful People.

You know exactly what this is about.

Rob jostles your shoulder as he prepares to go out, wishing you luck when you should really be the one wishing him luck. Ginger gives you a low five, and you take a deep breath as Manson comes stumbling off stage, makeup trailing down his face and neck from the water he always spits upward.

"Could you be anymore of a child about this whole thing?" you demand, crossing your arms. He points a wavering finger at you, letting the security carry him properly toward the hall.

"Don't. Even."

"Oh, don't what? Don't what? I can't wear a dress now?"

"Wear whatever the fuck you want, I don't care." Piggy D hurries between you two awkwardly to run out on stage.

"You are being such an asshole."

"Whatever. You wanna misinterpret how I... what I'm..."

"I know you, you're jealous."

He shoves the security off, coming back over. "I'm not fucking jealous."

"It's a dress. What, you think I wanna fuck Rob?!"

This time, he does growl. His tall, imposing form advances on you, and despite his debauched appearance, the intense darkness in his eyes is unmistakable for anything other than hunger. Real fear flickers through you for a split second.

"Wanna try that, little girl? Hm?" You shiver, breath quickening, but you've known your boyfriend for far too long, and you're not about to back down now. You want him hard and fast, and it’s your turn to get him back for making you wait.

"Maybe I do," you whisper defiantly. That does it. He tears the straps on your dress. You moan, letting him reach in and grab your thighs, and lift you against the wall with ease, pinning you there.

"You want me to drag you out on that stage, and fuck you in front of the crowd again?”

“You only teased me in front of the crowd,” you have the nerve to reply, “You never actually fucked me out there in front of anyone.” Manson holds you by the neck as he roughly marks you down your jawbone.

“That’s because you're mine," he mutters, hurrying to get his dick out, "You're fucking mine. Only person gets to see these tits, see this pussy? Is me." He leans in to hiss: “Only one who gets to see you gush is me.”

You can't protest, caught up in a rush of arousal as his stage pants rub dangerously close to your clit. You grind your hips forward, desperately seeking his touch. You’ve never wanted him so bad, his stupid fucking feral expression covered in pink and blue gloss driving you wild.

"Fuck me," you gasp, not stopping to wonder if the roadies were around or minding their own business.

"Oh, I'm going to, baby," Manson whispers, finally getting himself out of his briefs, "You need to remember who you fuckin' belong to." He tugs your hair back sharply, and sinks his teeth into your shoulder. You scream from the shock of it, and wetness starts to drip down your thigh.

"Ah," you hiss, pussy clenching desperately to be filled, "Do it again."

Manson bites down your flesh to the tips of your nipples, leaving pink marks across your chest. He reaches up, letting your leg fall slightly as he slips two fingers inside you.

You gasp again, louder this time over the beat of Rob performing Superbeast, and clutch tighter to your handsy boyfriend. He comes back up to suck your neck, nipping slightly at the sensitive spots where he marked you before.

"Fuck me, come on," you chant, “Fuck me like you did that day.” He grabs you again by the neck, dragging you in for a rough, sloppy kiss. A hard pound, and your back hits the wall in rhythm with his body. He doesn't wait for you to adjust, and you both know you don't need him to. He slides in deep, with you very ready to take him, and he pulls back easily before thrusting back in harder, the weight of his body pounding against you heightening the thrusts. His belt buckle jangles with his every movement.

"How much do you love this cock?”

“I love it, I want it--”

“Can Zombie do this?"

"No--"

"Could he make you cum like this?"

You whine. "Only you can make me cum."

"That's right. Don't ever forget it, or I’ll fucking remind you again." He kisses you again, all sloppy tongue, and your hair falls forward between you two as he puts every ounce of effort into bouncing you on his cock. He thrusts one more time with a low grunt, and the pain in your scalp as he tugs again sends you over the edge into a much needed climax. He freezes too, deep inside of you, and you feel him finish.

Manson lets you down, groaning as he rubs the sweat and shiny makeup off his face. Adrenaline shooting through him from both his show and the sex, he’s spoiling for a fight as was usual in these moods. He glares at a stage tech who had been coiling ropes. “Fuck you staring at?” The poor guy looks down in terror, carrying on with his job. Yep, Ginger was right, you think with a smile. He’s never gonna change. No matter how long it’s been, he’s still the same Manson you’re stuck with.

Manson zips up his pants again and unbuttons his restricting black stage vest. Breathless and rubbing your hands around and down your boyfriend’s chest, you pout at your ruined dress in the mirror, straps dangling down your arms.

"Look what you did to the dress, baby.”

“Looks better this way. Now you can’t see his name, you can just see your tits,” he smiles lazily, sucking on his bottom lip lasciviously.

“You’re a dirty old man, always looking at my tits.”

“What am I supposed to do? They’re tits, they’re attached to your chest, and I think you’re hot.”

You hide your flushed smile as you turn your nose up, sighing for show. “You do realize it's not normal that the best sex we have is when you're jealous."

"Since when are we normal?" He looks at you through the mirror, tired and grinning. "And I told you. I'm not fucking jealous."

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kittae · 4 years

Text

Spray Away

pairing: Hoseok x reader

genre: crack, comedy, fluff, reader POV

word count: 2296

prompt: Genie!reader + 15. “Please put your penis away.”

⟶ Halloween prompts masterlist

If anyone would ask? Then no, your life hasn’t been all that great since you’d been banished from the Spirit World and into a stupid perfume bottle, roughly a millennium ago. Granted, no one ever asked that question. They asked plenty of other questions, though. They asked for money, true love, to go back in time, more money, to bring back a dead loved one, and most of all: money. You may still be a supernatural entity with cosmic powers, there were limits to what you could do. Well, legal limits only. Apparently, just because you could, doesn’t mean you should. Messing with the balance between life and death, choice and destiny, was exactly what got you into this situation.

You were young, naive, hell-bent on helping those powerless humans. You couldn’t just stand there, watching them cry and go mad in despair when there was so much you could do for them. It was too late when you learned why they were not granted the gifts of your kind. You’re still paying for their mistakes.

Lucky for you, people these days didn’t fancy the looks of your physical prison. You’ve travelled all over the world, from one flea market to the other. Sometimes, you get picked up by a collector or someone who likes old things. They have a name for it now: ‘Vintage’. How stupid. Most of the time, though, years pass where you just lay in a drawer somewhere. Peacefully, unbothered, especially now there’s this awesome thing called Netflix! It certainly makes for much better entertainment than constantly replaying the same memories in your head. This era is truly not that bad, allowing you to sit out your sentence without any complications or devastating boredom.

See, to summon you, one has to squeeze the bulb three times, spraying the perfume in one sequence. Most people test the scent out once, decide they don’t like it, then put the bottle away for undefined periods of time until they get rid of it again. Lately, a few actually managed to do it right, but fainted when you appeared. Since your imprisonment, you’ve never actually granted any wish to those who didn’t faint. Well, not in the way they’d hoped for, at least. Not even a thousand years are enough to forget the way those humans betrayed you. It seems only fair to betray them right back.

And now? Right now, you’re meeting an old friend of yours: the dirty, dusty blanket splayed out on the ground where other old artifacts will join you. It’s flea market season again, it seems. The girl who picked up your perfume bottle at the previous one only needed a unique and old looking –sorry, vintage– thing to pose with during her boudoir photoshoot. Now she has no use for it anymore, you’re back in this familiar setting.

It’s so annoying. People pick you up and turn you around in their hands all the time. Can’t they just keep their dirty fingers off of you if they’re not gonna take you?!

“Hey! How much for that cool perfume bottle?” You hear a voice call out to the girl, sounding very chipper.

“Oh, you can just make me an offer! Any small change will do.” She responds.

Really? You’re not even worth a decent amount of money anymore? You’re a thousand years old, hello! That’s, like, antique times ten. You’re probably worth a fortune. What an Idiot.

“Hmm, then…” The boy thinks aloud, scrambling for change, “I just bought this pouch so I don’t have much left… Is this enough?”

“It’s yours!” The girl receives the change –you don’t even want to know how little it is– and another hand picks you up to take you to your new destination. You’ve lost count of the number of places you’ve been. Or rather, you’d stopped counting a long time ago.

“Ooh, there’s still perfume left!” He exclaims in excitement to no one in particular and you inwardly roll your eyes. Yeah, this one is gonna test you out for sure. Great.

Nothing really special happens after that. It doesn’t take too long to reach his home, where he places you in a bathroom cabinet before he takes a shower. He’s a good singer, though, you have to give him that. So this is it, huh? You wonder how many years you’ll spend in here before you’ll get ditched again.

To your surprise, you feel his hand curling around your bottle again. So soon? This is a first.

He sprays some perfume on his wrist and the action makes you feel all tingly and shivery. It relieves you, in a way. A natural thing that happens when someone tries to summon you.

Bringing his wrist to his nose, he takes a whiff. You expect him to be disgusted, like everyone that came before him, but he surprises you again by making a delighted kind of...noise? Oh, my god. It’s happening. He’s gonna do it.

You brace yourself, equal parts anticipating and dreading the reveal. You never know what reaction you’ll get in advance.

What you haven’t been considering, however, is your own reaction when the bulb gets squeezed three times in a row and you’re met with not a face, but something else entirely.

“OH– FUCK, NO!!” You stagger and thrash around to escape from underneath your liberator’s towel, grabbing and stealing it right off his hips.

Both of your screams are in sync when he throws himself on the bathroom floor, pointing at you like he’s seen a ghost. Well, he’s not entirely wrong in this case. Although if you could, you would personally decapitate anyone who would ever insult you by calling you a mere ghost.

“WHAAAaaaat the h-hell a-are you?!” He stammers, wide-eyed and seemingly forgetting he’s still butt-naked as you try to avoid the sight of him by covering your eyes.

“I- Here! Put this on first!” You squeak as you throw the towel back, somewhere in his general direction.

He doesn’t, though. He keeps whining and shaking, rubbing his eyes over and over again in the hope this isn’t real. “This isn’t happening! Not happening!”

“WHY WOULD YOU SPRAY PERFUME ON YOUR– YOUR–” You splutter, embarrassed beyond belief. Hey, it’s been a while, okay?!

“WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?” He yells back equally distressed. “I’M CALLING THE POLICE!”

“Let me explain, I– for fuck’s sake, please, put your penis away.” You groan, reaching for another towel hanging from the rack to throw it at his head. Thank goodness he finally gets it and wraps it around his hips again, the red sheen of embarrassment tinting his cheeks and ears.

“This is happening. Like, in real life. You’re not going insane and you’re not dreaming.” You finally feel comfortable enough to look at him and drone off the words you’ve said time and time again, in the past. Humans aren’t exactly the most intelligent creatures, so you know you have to break it down for them every single time. “I am ___, a genie. You summoned me by...spraying perfume...on your- your dick...uh...”

He looks extremely dumb, with his mouth agape and hair wet and tousled, but also kind of cute. You curse yourself to an additional century of damnation upon realising your weak spot for humans still hasn’t died down completely.

“Seriously, who does that?” You ask, genuinely curious...or concerned. Maybe both.

“I-” He starts, closing his mouth to gulp loudly, “I-I have a date later…”

You nod, still not seeing how this could be a thing. Humans remain to puzzle you. “And your name?”

“M-my name?” He pokes a finger in his chest, “It’s Hoseok.”

It’s silent for a few awkward seconds until he speaks again. “Am I really not going insane? This is… Too crazy.”

“I know, right,” You mumble, more to yourself than to him. “But I can assure you, Hoseok, you’re fine. I’m really here, in your bathroom. Traumatized, but here.”

“Was it really that bad?” he murmurs under his breath, a pout on his lips as he finally remembers how his muscles work and stands up.

“I know you must be really freaked out by suddenly summoning a genie without knowing you were, but imagine how I’m feeling right now. That’s the first thing I saw after centuries of being locked up.”

“Centuries of being locked up?” Hoseok’s brows furrow. “That’s terrible.”

You scoff. “Oh yeah? Try a whole millennium!”

Hoseok looks genuinely horrified. It makes you feel uneasy. You’ve never had this reaction before.

“That’s- wow. Who did this to you?” He asks, carefully stepping closer. You know you’re in your human form, to minimize the shock factor, but you’ve never experienced this amount of compassion from a human before. You’ve only seen them do it to each other. Not you, their magical wish machine.

Right! That’s probably why! You haven’t told him about the wishes yet.

“So, here’s the thing,” You sigh. This is your least favourite part. You know, aside from being imprisoned. “I have to grant you three wishes. There are some limitations to what I’m allowed to do, though, so. Other than those, ask and you shall receive, I guess.”

“Limitations? What kind of limitations?” He asks, looking utterly confused.

Ah shit, here we go.

You shrug. “Let’s see, I can’t make people fall in love with you, can’t bring people back from the dead, or kill anyone for you. That’s pretty much it.”

You could practically see the little gears spinning in his head and you roll your eyes, predicting one of the three will most likely be money again. Going off of his tiny apartment, at least. And the fact he barely had enough money to buy an ugly pouch and your perfume bottle. Also, people just really love money.

“So I can ask for anything, right? Anything outside of those three limitations?” The words leave his lips slowly, as if he’s heavily contemplating something.

“Yup. ‘S what I said.” You knew it. The second you’d talk about the wishes, all supposed concern about you would suddenly disappear.

“Okay!” Hoseok beams, looking like the sun itself. “How about your freedom? I can do that, right?”

“You- what?!”

You must look so incredibly stupid right now, considering the dumbfounded expression on your face, yet it doesn’t deter him in the slightest. “You said I could wish for anything except for those three things you mentioned. You never said I couldn’t wish for your freedom, so there.”

You shake your head in disbelief, “Why would– why would you do that?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” He asks, eyebrows frowned in curiosity.

“Because...Because!” You raise your voice now, heated, almost angry for a reason you couldn’t put your finger on, “It’s not how humans are wired! You’re supposed to only think about yourselves! Why aren’t you asking for money or to get revenge on someone like a normal person?!”

Hoseok scoffs. “Wow, sorry to disappoint? By the way you were talking, it sounded like you hate being confined and imprisoned. My bad for misunderstanding.”

Great, now he had you feeling bad about it. You still couldn’t process how he just went and wished for your freedom.

“Even if you’re really crazy enough to waste a wish on my freedom… Why make it your first one? You could still have two wishes left for yourself.” You counter, not knowing whether he’s just overly kind, or plain stupid. Probably the latter. “Once I’m free, I won’t be inclined to fulfill any wishes.”

He shrugs, smiling. “Because the only thing I could think about when you told me your story, was how terrified you must’ve been all this time. How awful you must feel. I know I’d go crazy in there if I were you.” He nods at the perfume bottle.

“But, still,” You murmur, unsure. He sounds so genuine, it’s getting harder to convince yourself of how he must be inherently evil, like you’ve thought all humans are up until...well, now. “I don’t understand.”

“I’m doing okay, you know?” He laughs, the sound ringing beautifully in your ears, “I got a job I enjoy. I know it doesn’t pay much, but that’s okay! I love doing what I do. I have a house that feels like a home… A dog who loves me. My family is still alive and also loves me.”

You’re not going to tear up, damn it. You’re over a thousand years old! Crying is overrated!

“Honestly, there’s just nothing I can think about that I want and don’t have already. But you wanna know something?” He asks, taking a step forward, really looking at you, “I still don’t know if maybe I ate something wrong earlier that makes me hallucinate, but even if I am… I just want to help.”

Well, so much for trying not to cry. Genies need emotional relief too. You’re having trouble looking him in the eyes while tears spilled from yours.

“You look like you’ve lost faith in humans and frankly, I can’t blame you… We’re a mess,” He chuckles, hesitantly raising his arm to take your hand in his. You let him. “But I hope, by doing this, you could let go of your anger and give yourself a chance to start over. With yourself, with us. If I’m given the opportunity to give you that freedom, I’m taking it with both hands and I hope you can forgive us. I hope you can be happy again.”

You feel like you could die, from happiness, from relief. For the longest time it’s what you wished for. One genuinely pure human makes you want to live harder than ever before, when you hear him speak the words to change your life forever.

“I wish for your freedom, ___.”

#bts fanfiction #bts scenarios #hoseok fanfiction #jung hoseok #bts #jhope #jhope scenarios #jhope fanfic #jhope drabble #hoseok drabble #genie!reader #genie!au #genie #halloween drabbles #bts halloween

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f4liveblogarchives · 3 years

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Fantastic Four Vol 1 #233

Fri May 01 2020 [01:13 AM] Wack'd: We open on Deeden State Correctional Facility. It is, the narration tells us, incredibly hellish, but not infamously, because no one ever leaves to tell the tale. It is here David Munson is about to be condemned to death. [01:13 AM] Wack'd: (Also yes Deeden sounds like Deadend, this is its nickname, and what I'll call it because I'll probably just forget not to) [01:14 AM] maxwellelvis: Sounds more like Dee-Dee to me [01:15 AM] Wack'd: Anyway, David--or Davey as the priest calls him--is pissed because he didn't kill the guy he's being put to death for killing [01:15 AM] Wack'd: He killed lots of other people, sure, but not this one guy [01:16 AM] Wack'd: Anyway Davey gets electrocuted to death. And the priest sets about satisfying Davey's last request: [01:16 AM] Wack'd: Deliver a letter to one Mr. Jonathan Storm. [01:17 AM] Bocaj: DUN DUN DUN [01:18 AM] Wack'd: Did the Baxter always have this spiffy awning? I feel like it didn't.

[01:19 AM] Wack'd: Oh hey, a modern update on the Baxter cutaway. We get to watch this priest explore while Sue gives him the rundown. [01:20 AM] Wack'd: Unfortunately they've arrived in the middle of a Johnny/Ben showdown. (Johnny had plastered a photo of Christopher Reeves over Ben's bathroom mirror.) [01:22 AM] Wack'd: Thank you Reed for explaining Ben's damage. And thank you Sue for getting POed over something that has been going on for literal years that you've never gotten POed about before.

[01:23 AM] maxwellelvis: All for the sake of making the priest feel very very uncomfortable. [01:23 AM] Bocaj: I think its specifically because it happened in front of a priest [01:23 AM] maxwellelvis: "Should I wait outside until this blows over, my son?" [01:23 AM] Bocaj: Sue at her worst might be very 'how dare you let others see us as we are' [01:24 AM] Wack'd: Fair [01:25 AM] Wack'd: Anyway, Davey wants Johnny to clear his name. His mom never knew what a shit he was, see, and since he's getting executed for something he is actually innocent of, there's a chance she'll never have to find out. [01:25 AM] maxwellelvis: It might have helped if his defense wasn't "Yes, I'm GLAD, GLAD THE BASTARD'S DEAD! GLAD, YOU HEAR ME?! But I didn't shoot him." [01:25 AM] Bocaj: Ha [01:26 AM] Bocaj: God this is reminding me abstractly of the time that Batman stopped Joker from being executed because the specific thing he was being executed he didn't do. But only that very specific thing. [01:26 AM] maxwellelvis: "(Because if I had killed him, it wouldn't have been with a gun)" [01:26 AM] Wack'd: As for why Johnny, well, Davey knew him from bullying Johnny in high school. (He's not in Strange Tales. I checked.) [01:26 AM] maxwellelvis: Oh boy, this trope [01:27 AM] maxwellelvis: Yep, good ol' Davey Munson. Been here the whoooole time. [01:30 AM] Wack'd: Sick burn on Ed Koch outta nowhere

[01:31 AM] Wack'd: (Though actually he's been in office for three years at this point so *shrug*) [01:31 AM] Wack'd: (It took Johnny two hours to get here by Fantasticar so maybe we're not even in NYC anymore? I dunno) [01:31 AM] maxwellelvis: "How'm I doin'? How'm I doin'? I'm not doin' so well." [01:32 AM] Wack'd: Hey, more silent panels! Artsy

[01:32 AM] maxwellelvis: Silent AND black-and-white with zero grayscale [01:32 AM] Wack'd: Anyway, it seems pretty open and shut. No gloves, fingerprints all over the gun, and plenty of witnesses. [01:33 AM] Wack'd: But. [01:33 AM] maxwellelvis: Just one more question [01:33 AM] Wack'd: Johnny just doesn't believe Davey was smart enough to use a silencer [01:33 AM] maxwellelvis: Wow [01:34 AM] Bocaj: 😐 [01:34 AM] Bocaj: Damning with faint praise [01:35 AM] Wack'd: Anyway, Johnny heads to the scene of the crime, where he finds the stockroom. He thinks it's weird that the victim would've been back here with the lights out and the store closed. [01:35 AM] maxwellelvis: Wow, I was just joking up above with the Columbo routine. [01:35 AM] Wack'd: Also, it's weird that this liquor store is run by Abraham Lincoln, right? Not just me?

[01:36 AM] maxwellelvis: "PISS OFF!" [01:36 AM] Wack'd: It's a conspiracy?!

[01:37 AM] Bocaj: Those meddling Avengers or Spider-Man [01:37 AM] Wack'd: Anyway, Johnny gives chase, and the guy says "there's no way the cops could pin that hit on me", and we're like halfway through the issue so I guess now Johnny goes home and does something else. [01:38 AM] Wack'd: Dishonest Abe was too stupid to memorize H's phone number so now Johnny has a lead in the form of said phone number. [01:39 AM] Wack'd: Finds the warehouse, takes out a buncha dumb thugs. [01:40 AM] Wack'd: Johnny, that's torture, and on top of being ineffective it's generally frowned upon.

[01:41 AM] maxwellelvis: Did he turn into a completely different guy for one panel? [01:41 AM] Wack'd: Looks like a coloring error, yeah [01:42 AM] maxwellelvis: Also, is Byrne the first guy to draw Johnny's eyes as glowing when he's the Torch? [01:42 AM] Wack'd: Maybe? [01:42 AM] Wack'd: Anyway H turns out to be a member of the Mafia. Or the Maggia I guess but fuck that it's the Mafia. [01:42 AM] maxwellelvis: That was a thing the first season of the 90's cartoon did, have his eyes and mouth glow like that. [01:43 AM] Wack'd: Oh hey, a Dick Tracy villains convention!

[01:43 AM] maxwellelvis: Hammerhead! [01:44 AM] Wack'd: Fight fight fight [01:44 AM] maxwellelvis: His one special technique won't be quite as effective against a guy who can fly and catch fire. [01:46 AM] Wack'd: He's able to go toe-to-toe with Johnny because he's got an exosuit. [01:46 AM] maxwellelvis: Ahh. Damn Maggia resources. [01:46 AM] maxwellelvis: But I like that Hammerhead isn't so committed to his gimmick as to commit tactical suicide here. [01:48 AM] Wack'd: Johnny manages to short-circuit the suit by melting some of its fuses. But Hammerhead doesn't realize his suit isn't working anymore and escapes by jumping off the building. [01:48 AM] Bocaj: And nothing of value was lost. [01:48 AM] Wack'd: He disappears before hitting the ground though and Johnny can't find him so he's probably fine. [01:49 AM] maxwellelvis: If he's got a power suit, he's probably got a teleporter. [01:50 AM] maxwellelvis: Anyways, that'd explain why Morrie was so worried as to specifically namedrop Spider-Man earlier. [01:50 AM] Wack'd: Anyway, here's the summation.

[01:50 AM] Wack'd: Given the issue opens with Johnny picking on Ben I was expecting, like, something about bullying being a slippery slope or Johnny at least reevaluating his behavior but no he's a good good boy [01:51 AM] Wack'd: I like the twist that the mom knew the whole time, though. [01:52 AM] Wack'd: A better story woulda, like, tied things up thematically on that end too. Maybe get Sue involved? But it's cute. [01:53 AM] maxwellelvis: It's a sign of something that so far your criticisms have been mostly possible missed opportunities or ways to hypothetically improve the story. [01:53 AM] Wack'd: Yeah [01:54 AM] Wack'd: I think to a degree the modern era of comics storytelling is still kinda coming into its own, Fantastic Four has been spinning through so many creative heads it hasn't really had time to catch up [01:55 AM] maxwellelvis: Yeah, this is still technically the Bronze Age. [01:55 AM] maxwellelvis: I think the Dark Age kicks in in the mid-80's, but there's no real crystalizing thing you can point to. [01:56 AM] maxwellelvis: It's more gradual than dividing things into ages would make you think. [01:56 AM] maxwellelvis: Anyways, this is why I find John Byrne to be such a frustrating figure: [01:56 AM] maxwellelvis: There's no denying he's gifted, but he's just so unbearable as a person. [01:56 AM] Wack'd: Heh [01:59 AM] Wack'd: Regardless I'm just really 'gized to know that I'm reading a story that's not gonna be abruptly cut off and paved over [01:59 AM] maxwellelvis: Yeah, that is one advantage of a long run like Byrne's.

#1981 #John Bryne #The Main Book

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eternal-bangtan · 4 years

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BTS game

hello i was tagged by @fictionbunny @kimsouthjoon @hobis-glasses @kookie-off-his-kookie to do this one of the most complicated tags to me cuz i really dont like to choose amongst these things -_- just wanna say that i appreciate every era every hair colour they pull them off like crazy every song every mv every moment etc so i wanna punch the air and eat my fist rn but lets try im gonna break every rule i can tho dont fucking @ me fuck this shit expect a lot of words keep reading fucked up all the mentions im sorry ;( just scroll to the bottom

1. First BTS song? DNA but yo when i was in my active yt phase (2015-) i think i watched fine bros ent and they showed kpop mvs to random ppl and i think (i only realized it months later) they showed bst mv and at those times i was wow those kpop dudes r so extra with mvs like this dlfsjkljkfdhf also i think somewhere on 9gag i saw a lil clip of fire mv and i remembered joons verse just visuals and the rythm or melody or idk this is how i didnt know who r bts but i remembered that dudes (joon) face so yeah idk how to feel

2. First bias? as i just whined in the tags in previous posts it was taehyung

3. Current bias? ot7 biased i had sth clicking in me with every member but ofc sometimes i have moods related to a certain member :)

4. Put the members in order of your bias list: nO idk how am i supposed to choose

5. Favorite BTS song? well fuck u too let me know rain serendipity pied piper dimple gogo trivia love singularity fake love tear anpanman love maze so what black swan ugh jamais vu interlude shadow my time louder than bombs on 00:00 home mikrokosmos intro the most beautiful moment in life hold me tight autumn leaves run silver spoon save me epilogue young forever butterfly house of cards love is not over converse high outro propose where you from intro skool luv affair blood swear and tears lie mama awake lost begin cypher 4 intro boy meets evil spring day outro wings we are bulletproof pt 2 like outro circle room cypher dream glow who feat lauv no more dream ddaeng chicken noodle soup sea should i continue???????

6. Favorite underrated BTS song? i dont even know overrated songs?? if u can put it like this

7. Favorite song of Wings? ................. no one is going to read all of this anyway but i mentioned some in 5th question fhahaha

8. Favorite songs of each LY Her, Tear, Answer? same here lmao yes im doing this on purpose who cares

9. Favorite music video? ON Kinetic Manifesto Film : Come Prima i think cuz bruh the choreo this is what i love the most about mvs sdfhsdlkhsf

10. Favorite dancer? out of dance line? uh THEY ALL DANCE IN SUCH DIFFERENT STYLES WTF ok so im a fan of hip hop so i really love hobis style but oh my god the way jungkook moves or does whatever??? im losing my shit?? jimin hello he made me love contemporary with black swan even tho i wasnt a fan of it taehyung BITCH SHOULD I EVEN START HE APPEARS ON STAGE AND U FEEL IT RIGHT AFTER

11. Favorite vocalist? should i reply like i did previously :/ ngl tho i prefer lower voices irl cuz they make me feels things but bro nah no way i can reply to this properly i keep listening to them i feeling their voices differently even in some new ways and im blown away fuck u

12. Favorite rapper? f u c k u one thing im gonna say tho idk how but a lot of times whenever i hear hobis verses in majority of songs im like YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :OOOOOOOOOOOO IM LOVING THIS NOT NORMAL AMOUNT but should i start about their different flows or how much they experiment with it and how cool is that??? and how they feel themselves and how good they r at this??? nah fr fuck u -_- metaphorical ‘u’

13. Favorite hair color on each member? uh plz dont forget about my disclaimer namjoon-grape peachy platinum blonde, jin-blonde purple pink, yoongi-mint black blonde fake love era hair, hoseok-blonde fake love era hair chicken noodle soup hair longish hair esp during tear performances -_-, jimin-blonde black silver pink blue and honesly all those colours he had during lys tour????, taehyung-dna hair perm he has rn mint red peachy blue and also all that ly tour hair, jungkook-long hair blonde cherry all kinds of ombre he has rn dna era hair too and fake love hair and bst hair and i think there r more but i dont remember ;(

14. Favorite choreography? on black swan fake love bst boy with luv dionysus save me etc shOULD I MENTION THOSE DANCE BREAKS THEY HAD DURING AWARD SHOWS LOL

15. Favorite (bromance) ship? GOD I LOVE ALL THEIR BONDS SO MUCH ITS SO PRECIOUS AND SPECIAL my ults tho r taekook yoonminseok and namjin cuz i prefer it this way in fanfics but irl or how do i say it from all the content we get i love every bromance thingy they have tho????? LIKEEEE THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND CARE FOR EACH OTHER SO MUCH I CAN TALK ABOUT IT FOR HOURS HOW MUCH ALL OF THEM MEAN TO EACH OTHER AND HOW MANY TAEJINYOONKOOKMINJOONVHOPEYOONSEOKJIHOPENAMGI2SEOKEVRYTHINGEVERPOSSIBLEETC THREADS I RETWEETED they melt my heart they really show how u r supposed to treat ur closest ppl u kno? they accepted each other and all those personal traits that seemed so weird and unfamiliar at first and they know each other so well and r so caring and loving and supportive but how do we do shit irl? bitch u piss me off real bad u better fuckk off or else- ofc im exaggerating but shit like this happens and its really time to rethink some shit and well i really learnt a lot

thank u for u patience

im tagging @darlingjoon @starry-tae @stargazingjin @crytaeby @cyphertaehyungie @brightlytae @vjimin @monojoons @jungkpop @jungkooksmoon @itseokjins @flowerbangtann @lucid-jjin @yoonshadow @agu5td @hosnack @jjkguk @hwagaemkt @utopiajeon @nemjyoon @sunshineggukie @mapofugh or whoever else wants or well sorry if u were tagged or did this already also u may read its pointless anyways so yeah i hope u r having a good time day night week mood etc or if u dont plz do

#tag game #m:text #yeah it fr took me around a week or more to decide that is shoudl do this and ofc there is a reason why i finally decided lmao sdkgfkdfgli #OH MY GOD I FORGOT SEA HOW COULD I FORGOT SEA DUMBASS

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gra-sonas · 5 years

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Down to Earth With Tyler Blackburn

I‘ve never met Tyler Blackburn before—except that I have. Maybe it would be more accurate to say I’ve met versions of Tyler Blackburn. I’ve spent time with the actor on multiple occasions while covering his TV series Pretty Little Liars, the soapy teen-centered murder mystery that regularly generated more than a million tweets throughout its seven-season run. Just two weeks ago I reconnected with him in a lush meadow of flowering mustard outside Angeles National Forest, the site of his PLAYBOY photo shoot. But the Tyler Blackburn I’m meeting today at his home in the Atwater Village neighborhood of Los Angeles is in many ways an entirely different man.

When he greets me at the front door, Blackburn is relaxed, barefoot and still wearing what appears to be bed head. His disposition is unmistakably freer—lighter—than it’s been during our previous encounters. Perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised by this. Six days earlier the 32-year-old actor came out publicly as bisexual in an online interview with The Advocate.

The announcement is clearly at the forefront of his mind as we sit down at his dining room table.

Almost immediately he starts to gush about the positive, and at times overwhelming, feedback he has received over the past few days. Within minutes he’s in tears. He tries to lighten the mood with a self-effacing quip, but now I’m in tears too. Then he tells me he can’t remember my question.

I haven’t even asked one yet, I reply.

“It just makes me feel, Wow, the world’s a little bit safer than I thought it was,” Blackburn says.

The most affecting response he’s received thus far has been from his father, whom Blackburn didn’t meet until he was five years old. Although he avoids offering any more details about that early chapter, he says, “Feeling like I’m a little bit different always made me wonder if he likes me, approves of me, loves me. He called, and it was just every single thing you would want to hear from your dad: ‘That was a bold move. I’m so proud of you.’ It was wild.”

Blackburn can’t pinpoint the exact moment he knew he was bisexual but says he was curious from the age of 16. It wasn’t until two years ago, though, that he decided to approach his publicity team about coming out publicly. At that point, Pretty Little Liars had wrapped, and the actor was without a job. So Blackburn and his team agreed they needed to hold off on making an announcement until his career was stable again. The lack of resolution weighed on him. “A year ago I was in a very bad place,” he says, adding that he has struggled with depression and anxiety. “I didn’t know what my career was going to be or where it was going. My personal life—my relationship with myself—was in a really bad place.” His casting on the CW’s Roswell, New Mexico, adapted from the same Melinda Metz book series as the WB’s 1999 cult favorite Roswell, seems to have come at the right time. Blackburn portrays Alex, a gay Army veteran whose relationship with Michael, a bisexual alien, has attracted legions of “Malex” devotees since the show’s January debut. Roswell, New Mexico has already been renewed for a second season—a feat for any series in this era of streaming, let alone one involving gay exophilia. Playing a character whose queerness has been so widely embraced by fans no doubt nudged Blackburn closer to revealing his truth for the first time since becoming an actor 15 years ago. (As he told The Advocate, “I’m so tired of caring so much. I just want to…feel okay with experiencing love and experiencing self-love.”) Still, he was somewhat reluctant. His hesitation was rooted in the fact that he wouldn’t be able to control what came next: the social pressures that often come with being one of the first—in his case, one of the first openly bisexual male actors to lead a prime-time television series. “If you stand for this thing, and you say it publicly, there’s suddenly the expectation of ‘Now your job is this,’ ” he says. “Even if someone’s like, ‘Now you’re going to go be the spokesperson’—well, no. If I don’t want to, I don’t want to. And that doesn’t mean I’m a half-assed queer.” Full disclosure: I previously wrote for a Pretty Little Liars fan site. In 2012 I published a listicle that ranked the show’s hottest male characters. Blackburn cracks up when I tell him this and wants to know whether he bested Ian Harding, his former co-star. After I inform him that his character (hacker with a heart of gold Caleb Rivers) finished second behind Harding’s (Ezra Fitz, a student-dating teacher) I promise to organize a recount. The always-modest Blackburn concedes that Harding is the rightful winner. (If anyone ever compiles a BuzzFeed article titled “Most Embarrassing Moments for Former Bloggers,” I’ll be offended if I’m not in the mix.)

Blackburn makes it clear that he has not always been comfortable with his status as a teen heartthrob. Knowing he was queer made it “hard to embrace it and enjoy it.” Growing up, he was bullied for being perceived as effeminate and was frequently subjected to slurs and homophobic jokes. He describes himself as a late bloomer who took longer than usual to shed his baby fat. He didn’t have many friends, nor did he date much in high school. A lifelong fan of musical theater and the performing arts, Blackburn signed with a Hollywood management company at the age of 17. His team at the time warned him that projecting femininity would hinder his success. An especially painful moment came after he’d auditioned for a role as a soldier and the producers wrote back that Blackburn had seemed “a little gay.” “Those two managers were so twisted in their advice to me,” Blackburn says. “They just said, ‘We don’t care if you are, but no one can know. You can’t walk into these rooms and seem gay. It’s not gonna work.’ I remember the shame, because I’ve been dealing with the feeling that I’m not a normal boy for my entire life.” After landing a recurring role on Days of Our Lives in 2010, Blackburn scored his big break when he appeared midway through the first season of Pretty Little Liars. “I was in Tyler’s first scene, so I got to be one of the first to work with him,” Shay Mitchell, who starred opposite Blackburn, tells PLAYBOY. “Right away, I knew he was special. Since the day I met him, Tyler always struck me as very authentic and very true to himself.” Fans instantly adored his on-screen love affair with Hanna Marin, played by Ashley Benson. The pair became known as “Haleb,” and Blackburn went on to win three Teen Choice Awards—surfboard trophies that solidify one’s status as a teen idol—in categories including Choice TV: Chemistry.

According to Blackburn, during the show’s seven years on the air, he and Benson bonded over their mutual distaste for the tabloid stardom that comes with headlining a TV phenomenon lapped up by teens. Today he fondly reflects on their on-camera chemistry. “It felt good,” he says. “It felt real.” Of course, rumors swirled that the pair’s romance was actually quite real. “We never officially dated,” he tells me. “In navigating our relationship—as co-workers but also as friends—sometimes the lines blurred a little. We had periods when we felt more for each other, but ultimately we’re good buds. For the most part, those rumors made us laugh. But then sometimes we’d be like, ‘Did someone see us hugging the other night?’ She was a huge part of a huge change in my life, so I’ll always hold her dear.” Blackburn also shares a unique connection with Mitchell outside their friendship. Similar to what Blackburn is now experiencing with Roswell, Mitchell was embraced by the LGBTQ community for playing a lesbian character, Emily Fields, whose same-sex romances on Pretty Little Liars were among the first on ABC Family (the former name of the Freeform network). Over the years, Blackburn had come out to select members of the Pretty Little Liars cast and crew, including creator I. Marlene King. But as the show approached its swan song, he started to recognize how hiding a part of himself was negatively affecting his life. He entered his first serious relationship with a man while filming the show’s final season. Not knowing how to tell co-workers—or whether to, say, invite his boyfriend to an afterparty—caused him to “go into a little bit of a shell” on the set.

“My boyfriend was hanging out with me at a Pretty Little Liars convention, and some of the fans were like, ‘Are you Tyler’s brother?’ ” Blackburn says. “He was very patient, but then afterward he was like, ‘That kind of hurt me.’ It was a big part of why we didn’t work out, just because he was at a different place than I was. Unfortunately, we don’t really talk anymore, but if he reads this, I hope he knows that he helped me so much in so many ways.” At that, Blackburn tearfully excuses himself and takes a private moment to regain his composure. “I never remember a time when I didn’t enjoy being with him,” says Harding, Blackburn’s former co-star. He says he saw the actor “start to become the person he is now when we worked together” but believes Blackburn needed to first come to terms with the idea that he could become “the face” of bisexuality. “Tyler’s discovering a way to bring real meaning with his presence in the world,” Harding says, “as an actor and as a whole human.”

Once the teenage Blackburn realized he was attracted to guys, he began “experimenting” with men while taking care not to become too emotionally attached. “I just didn’t feel I had the inner strength or the certainty that it was okay,” he says. It wasn’t until a decade later, at the age of 26, that he began to “actively embrace my bisexuality and start dating men, or at least open myself up to the idea.” He says he’s been in love with two women and had great relationships with both, but he “just knew that wasn’t the whole story.”

He was able to enjoy being single in his 20s in part because he wasn’t confident enough in his identity to commit to any one person in a relationship. “I had to really be patient with myself—and more so with men,” he says. “Certain things are much easier with women, just anatomically, and there’s a freedom in that.” He came out of that period with an appreciation for romance and intimacy. Sex without an emotional component, he discovered, didn’t have much appeal. “As I got older, I realized good sex is when you really have something between the two of you,” says Blackburn, who’s now dating an “amazing” guy. “It’s not just a body. The more I’ve realized that, the more able I am to be settled in my sexuality. I’m freer in my sexuality now. I’m very sexual; it’s a beautiful aspect of life.” Blackburn has, however, felt resistance from the LGBTQ community, particularly when bisexual women have questioned his orientation. “Once I decided to date men, I was like, Please just let me be gay and be okay with that, because it would be a lot fucking easier. At times, bisexuality feels like a big gray zone,” he says. (For example, Blackburn knows his sexuality may complicate how he becomes a father.) “I’ve had to check myself and say, I know how I felt when I was in love with women and when I slept with women. That was true and real. Don’t discredit that, because you’re feeding into what other people think about bisexuality.” He clearly isn't the first rising star who's had to deal with outside opinions of how to handle his Hollywood coming-out. I spoke to Brianna Hildebrand just before the release of 2018's smash hit Deadpool 2, and she explained that she had previously met with publicists who had offered to keep her sexuality under wraps, even though the actress herself had never suggested this. Meanwhile, ahead of the launch of last fall's Fantastic Beasts sequel, Ezra Miller told me that he's "been in audition situations where sexuality was totally being leveraged."

Fortunately for Blackburn, his recent experiences with colleagues have largely been supportive ones. He came out to Roswell, New Mexico showrunner Carina Adly Mackenzie when he first arrived in N.M. to shoot the pilot but after he had earned the role of Alex, which for him was the ideal sequence. "I think he takes the responsibility of being queer in the public eye very seriously, and waiting to come out was just about waiting until he was ready to share a private matter—not about being dishonest to his fans," Mackenzie tells PLAYBOY. "I have always known how important Alex is to Tyler, and I know that Tyler trusts me to do right by him, ultimately, and that’s really special." Blackburn finds it funny that he’s known for young-skewing TV shows; the question is, What might define him next? He’s grateful for his career, but he grew up wanting to make edgy dramas like the young Leonardo DiCaprio. He also cites an admiration for Miller, the queer actor who plays the Flash. “I most definitely want to be a fucking superhero one day,” Blackburn says a bit wistfully. His path to cape wearing does look more tenable. The day before his Advocate interview was posted, he booked a lead role in a fact-based disaster-survival film opposite Josh Duhamel. Blackburn jokes that his movie career was previously nonexistent, though his résumé features such thoughtful indie fare as 2017’s vignette-driven Hello Again. There, he plays a love interest to T.R. Knight, who tells PLAYBOY that Blackburn “embraces the challenge to stretch and not choose the easy path.” For now, Blackburn’s path appears to be just where he needs it to be. “I may never want to be a spokesperson in a huge way, but honestly, being truthful and authentic sets a great example,” he says. “To continue on a path of fulfillment and happiness is going to make people feel like they too can have that and it doesn’t need to be some spectacle.” As it turns out, he may already be a superhero.

- Playboy

#tyler blackburn #playboy 2019 #tjb interviews #rnm cast #roswell new mexico #happy pride 🌈#god i love him

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