#winnie hess
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REJOICE. PLAY BALL!
#blaseball#jessica telephone#parker macmillan#nan#brisket friendo#scratch deluze#oliver loofah#chorby short#winnie hess#pudge nakamoto#farrell seagul#rat mason
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Blaseball as text posts, part 6! Art by HetreaSky!
#blaseball#text post meme#spitposting#jaylen hotdogfingers#flattery mckinley#niq nyong'o#the shelled one#winnie hess#parker macmillan#bevan wise#oscar dollie#rigby friedrich#tillman henderson#the coin#york silk#neerie mccloud#whoops this is a lot of georgias huh#oh well. georgias good
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please talk to me about winnie hess also
YAYAYAYAYAYAY
Well u got the spiel last night but
Winnie Hess that is a horse but like. She’s a centaur. Lesbian centaur with tired mom energy. Absolutely has some sort of neurodivergence but I can’t decide between any of them. Slight workaholic but also being one of the strongest pitchers in the league will do that to you.
During beta she was really competitive and invested in the game. She worked hard to get to where she was, but didn’t lose sight of the love she had for her teammates. She was trying to be an older sister to Hewitt and some sort of maternal figure to Thirteen, both of which she lost, and then she lost herself and her entire team. I know we joke about “The sim killed the Breath Mints because Winnie was too powerful and needed to be stopped” but that’s literally her mentality. I like to think you can still hear whispers of the fans in the hall, and she heard that joke and went “was I doing too much? Was it even worth it?” And then proceeds to have an existential crisis throughout season 24.
Even now she’s still not over dying during s24 and didn’t use the time in the BH(BH) to reflect and process it. She still feels dead. Sometimes she wakes up cold and stiff. Sometimes she dreams about the hall. She doesn’t like Ohio mostly because she’s back to playing Blaseball and she didn’t want to do that, and she needed somewhere to get those frustrations out. She ends up doting on NaN “everyone has adopted me” NaN and is like “yanno what, maybe I can have a life here. There are people who I care about here. We have time to figure it out.”
And then NaN explodes.
By that point she is done. She is so fucking done. She says “fuck this, fuck it all, fuck the gods, fuck Ohio, fuck Blaseball” because everything she has ever done has been pointless. All the siphons and the parties and the stat boosts and the stars were meaningless. They didn’t save her. They didn’t save her friends and her family. She is so tired of everything and grieving but Play Must Continue. She wants to have some sense of normalcy but Play Must Continue. She’s trying to be something other than the work horse (hah) she was but Play Must Continue.
And the umps must smell lingering power on her, because they just keep staring at her. She is spiteful and vicious and so so tired, so when the Knight comes to her and says don’t you want to seek greatness she stares it dead in the eyes and says I was great once. It did nothing. And when the Bard comes and says don’t you want success, she just laughs, and laughs, and laughs. She laughs until she runs out of breath and then she starts crying. Because that’s all she wanted. And it didn’t mean a thing.
#woosh answers#deathmason#blaseball#winnie hess#YEAH I LOOKED AT THE HORSE AND SAID ‘how fucked up is that actually’#anyways [explodes]
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oh my god i just found a few old season 1 roster screenshots and this is so fucking crazy. 0.5 star batter daniel duffy. 1.5 star harrell. baby urlacher. 1 star pitcher ruslan greatness. elvis figueroa on the lineup. 2 star batter val games. spears taylor NOT being the low point of the lineup (and being one of the best batters on the team, actually)? ZERO STAR PITCHER AND ORIGINAL CRAB WINNIE HESS
#blaseball#ari opinion hour#DISCLAIMER I LOVE SPEARS I LOVE SPEARS SO MUCH#ITS JUST THAT THE REASON THE FRIDAYS VIBES ROW#(sequence of our lineup where literally every good batter was one after another)#DISSOLVED WAS BECAUSE AT SOME POINT IT BECAME LITERALLY EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE LINEUP *BUT* SPEARS#SO ITS REALLY REALLY WEIRD TO SEE THEM NOT BE THAT#peanutiel duffy#harrell#baby triumphant#ruslan greatness#elvis figueroa#val games#spears taylor#winnie hess#a. harrell#valentine games
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so so so so SO funny to me that no eclipse events have successfully happened to the ohio worms yet. the worms have parried every umpire that tried
but whats even BETTER is that the two effects that the worms have parried? curse and swear.
the worms have surpassed the need for profanity. swoomba incarnate. g'fuck banned permanently in the state of ohio
#howling#blaseball#winnie hess parried curse AND swear#worms said do you eat dirt with that mouth? for shame#splortposting
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and okay i am so fine with letting the crabs have him and keep him, or letting all these other teams fight over him. he is my Ultimate Blorbo but he is soooooo plot important like. you stay off the mints young man we have a playoffs to win
#and we just know he's gonna gi through it 👍#now winnie hess. I want her back on the mints STAT#i am. so sad. that rod dot net didn't fall :( where is he... will we ever see him again. cries about it#quincy.txt#blaseball
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How many have you read out of the hundred?
Me: 64/100
Reblog & share your results
1. "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen
2. "Crime and Punishment" by Fyodor Dostoevsky
3. "To Kill a Mockingbird" by Harper Lee
4. "1984" by George Orwell
5. "Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens
6. "One Hundred Years of Solitude" by Gabriel García Márquez
7. "Jane Eyre" by Charlotte Brontë
8. "The Catcher in the Rye" by J.D. Salinger
9. "War and Peace" by Leo Tolstoy
10. "The Great Gatsby" by F. Scott Fitzgerald
11. "Moby-Dick" by Herman Melville
12. "The Odyssey" by Homer
13. "Wuthering Heights" by Emily Brontë
14. "Anna Karenina" by Leo Tolstoy
15. "The Brothers Karamazov" by Fyodor Dostoevsky
16. "The Iliad" by Homer
17. "Frankenstein" by Mary Shelley
18. "Les Misérables" by Victor Hugo
19. "Don Quixote" by Miguel de Cervantes
20. "Middlemarch" by George Eliot
21. "The Picture of Dorian Gray" by Oscar Wilde
22. "The Scarlet Letter" by Nathaniel Hawthorne
23. "Dracula" by Bram Stoker
24. "Sense and Sensibility" by Jane Austen
25. "The Hunchback of Notre-Dame" by Victor Hugo
26. "The War of the Worlds" by H.G. Wells
27. "The Grapes of Wrath" by John Steinbeck
28. "The Canterbury Tales" by Geoffrey Chaucer
29. "The Portrait of a Lady" by Henry James
30. "The Jungle Book" by Rudyard Kipling
31. "Siddhartha" by Hermann Hesse
32. "The Divine Comedy" by Dante Alighieri
33. "A Tale of Two Cities" by Charles Dickens
34. "The Trial" by Franz Kafka
35. "Mansfield Park" by Jane Austen
36. "The Three Musketeers" by Alexandre Dumas
37. "Fahrenheit 451" by Ray Bradbury
38. "Gulliver's Travels" by Jonathan Swift
39. "The Sound and the Fury" by William Faulkner
40. "Emma" by Jane Austen
41. "Robinson Crusoe" by Daniel Defoe
42. "Tess of the d'Urbervilles" by Thomas Hardy
43. "The Republic" by Plato
44. "Heart of Darkness" by Joseph Conrad
45. "The Hound of the Baskervilles" by Arthur Conan Doyle
46. "The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde" by Robert Louis Stevenson
47. "The Prince" by Niccolò Machiavelli
48. "The Metamorphosis" by Franz Kafka
49. "The Old Man and the Sea" by Ernest Hemingway
50. "Bleak House" by Charles Dickens
51. "Gone with the Wind" by Margaret Mitchell
52. "The Plague" by Albert Camus
53. "The Joy Luck Club" by Amy Tan
54. "The Master and Margarita" by Mikhail Bulgakov
55. "The Red and the Black" by Stendhal
56. "The Sun Also Rises" by Ernest Hemingway
57. "The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand
58. "The Bell Jar" by Sylvia Plath
59. "The Idiot" by Fyodor Dostoevsky
60. "The Book Thief" by Markus Zusak
61. "The Return of Sherlock Holmes" by Arthur Conan Doyle
62. "The Woman in White" by Wilkie Collins
63. "Things Fall Apart" by Chinua Achebe
64. "Treasure Island" by Robert Louis Stevenson
65. "Ulysses" by James Joyce
66. "Uncle Tom's Cabin" by Harriet Beecher Stowe
67. "Vanity Fair" by William Makepeace Thackeray
68. "Waiting for Godot" by Samuel Beckett
69. "Walden Two" by B.F. Skinner
70. "Watership Down" by Richard Adams
71. "White Fang" by Jack London
72. "Wide Sargasso Sea" by Jean Rhys
73. "Winnie-the-Pooh" by A.A. Milne
74. "Wise Blood" by Flannery O'Connor
75. "Woman in the Nineteenth Century" by Margaret Fuller
76. "Women in Love" by D.H. Lawrence
77. "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" by Robert M. Pirsig
78. "The Aeneid" by Virgil
79. "The Age of Innocence" by Edith Wharton
80. "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho
81. "The Art of War" by Sun Tzu
82. "The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin" by Benjamin Franklin
83. "The Awakening" by Kate Chopin
84. "The Big Sleep" by Raymond Chandler
85. "The Bluest Eye" by Toni Morrison
86. "The Caine Mutiny" by Herman Wouk
87. "The Cherry Orchard" by Anton Chekhov
88. "The Chosen" by Chaim Potok
89. "The Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens
90. "The City of Ember" by Jeanne DuPrau
91. "The Clue in the Crumbling Wall" by Carolyn Keene
92. "The Code of the Woosters" by P.G. Wodehouse
93. "The Color Purple" by Alice Walker
94. "The Count of Monte Cristo" by Alexandre Dumas
95. "The Crucible" by Arthur Miller
96. "The Crying of Lot 49" by Thomas Pynchon
97. "The Da Vinci Code" by Dan Brown
98. "The Death of Ivan Ilyich" by Leo Tolstoy
99. "The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire" by Edward Gibbon
100. "The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood" by Rebecca Wells
#book#booklr#books#classical literature#classic academia#penguin clothbound classics#classical books#english literature#listing#that's bloody#william shakespeare#shakespeare#anne frank#the odyssey#the divine comedy#french#literature
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JOMP Challenge | April 30. | Read in April
The Golden Compass by Phillip Pullman - 5/5
Winnie-the-Pooh by A.A. Milne - 5/5
Divine Rivals by Rebecca Ross - 4.5/5
Frühling by Hermann Hesse - 5/5
The Collected Poems by Sylvia Plath - 3.5/5
Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov - 3.75/5
The Subtle Knife by Phillip Pullman - 5/5
Carmilla by J. Sheridan Le Fanu - 5/5
The Raven and Other Poems by Edgar Allan Poe - 5/5
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Ump/Eclipse Breakdown
Rogue Ump/ Blue Solar Eclipse: INCINERATION
The one we already know and hate.
Affected players: Anastasia Isarobot [S1 election]
Mage Ump/ Red Solar Eclipse: ALTERNATE
In the single instance we’ve seen during play, the Mage ump ruled in favor of the player, and the resulting alternate had all-around improved stats. TBD if this actually means anything.
Affected players: Terrell Bradley [S1 election], Vaquita Mango
Knight Ump/ Silver Solar Eclipse: SHADOWS
Players that are shadowed are said to have been sent on a quest. This is the only one we’ve seen be resisted (parried) so far.
Affected Players: Simon Haley [S1 election], Winnie Hess [attempted, parried], Letitia Diop
Bard Ump/ Gold Solar Eclipse: CURSE
As we’ve only seen one curse so far, it’s unclear if all curses will be in a similar vein of making a player change teams, but my bet is that these’ll be a broad range of modifications (stuff like Flinch, Haunted, Debt, etc)
Affected Players: Zephyr McCloud [S1 election, Can’t Lose]
#blaseball#posting this right before bed knowing that there'll probably be more info that'll prove me wrong in the morning
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SHE WHAT
[A reblase log which reads "Winnie Hess parries a Knight Umpire's swear!"]
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That's a Wrap!
Highly Irregular Fargo Week 2023 has officially come to an end.
The AO3 collection is now closed, and there is a total of ten works available to read featuring seventeen characters, three of whom received the first work for their tag!
The character with the most works in the collection is Odis Weff, with five. Here's a complete list of tagged characters:
Odis Weff (5)
Gloria Burgle (2)
Constant Calamita (2)
Greta Grimly (2)
Levney Hooten (2) - *1st work*
Nathan Burgle
Gina Hess
Winnie Lopez
Rabbi Milligan
Thaddeus Mobley - *1st work*
Kitty Nygaard
Pearl Nygaard
Linda Park Nygaard
Molly Solverson
Ennis Stussy - *1st work*
Nikki Swango
Ida Thurman
Thank you so much to everyone who participated!
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Oh btw Winnie Hess is my new blorbo please talk to me about Winnie Hess
#woosh quotes themself#blaseball#winnie hess#look I have an interp of her that ISNT ‘just a horse’ and I wanna talk about it okay
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season A vs season 1... apophenia moment
[ID: 4 blaseball screenshots. 1: season A election (library): "The Baltimore Crabs stole Megan Ito from The Breath Mints. They sent back Cory Terermorphasis."
2: season 1 election (wiki): "Steal Best Pitcher blessed the Baltimore Crabs / The Baltimore Crabs stole the best pitcher in the league, PolkaDot Patterson, from the Kansas City Breath Mints. They sent back Winnie Hess."
3 & 4: top half of 2 player pages. one is Cory Terermorphasis of Null Team & one is Winnie Hess of the Kansas City Breath Mints. both are deceased. /end ID]
#blaseball#polkadot patterson#baltimore crabs#kansas city breath mints#megan ito#winnie hess#cory terermorphasis#null team#ari opinion hour
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HOLY SHIT SCRATCH DELEUZE ON SPIES AND WINNIE HESS ON WORMS...
#howling#splortposting#OF ALL TEAMS FOR SCRATCH TO FALL TOO... it just HAD to be the spies#and literally last week I was joking like. oh lol wouldn't it be funny if Winnie hess was on the worms#hit with the dodgeball I guess#and also pmac is here now that's cool
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omg caz @solphy pings momence
Last song: Are You A Hypnotist?? by The Flaming Lips on spotify and Last Kisses by Daisy The Great on apple music, i fell asleep sunday night to daisy the great and then yesterday i got fight test stuck in my head when i was looking through my concert footage from seeing the flaming lips in person two weeks ago and went to listen to yoshimi again while driving al home
Currently watching: The Mentalist :) hes like really observant of people and facts and shit so he helps the california state fbi solve murders because when he was a tv psychic he pissed off a serial killer who murdered his wife and daughter and now he's on a mission to find the killer
Currently reading: a mentalist fic thats about miss congeniality, and also im rereading and editing my own fic about winnie hess
Current obsession: the mentalist, knitting, my wife, getting a little back into blaseball but not much
idk who id really want to tag @baggedfish @ravenmcqueen1 elya if u wanna ik caz already tagged u
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