dryad-lesbians
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I am simply vibing.
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brassica oleracea is a beautiful name for a baby girl
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tragic that I moved out of NJ and vowed that I'd never live in NYC, because now I can never have my dream job that I only just learned of via today's crossword
#in all actuality my skills are probably more similar to whoever wrote that job description#some assertive alliteration there
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[ID: A redraw of the "so it was a joke (saying this, she casually threw aside a large rock)" meme. It shows Clover Field from Zero Escape as she appears in 999. She is shown in two panels. In the first, she has her eyebrows raised, and is saying "Oh, so my brother's alive." In the second, she is letting go of an axe, with the caption reading, in italics, "Saying this, she casually threw aside an axe."]
door 1 true ending
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Round 1
Note: before voting for the first option please leave a detailed explanation of what Blaseball even is in the notes, cause I have no idea. Also votes for the first option count for Jaylen Hotdogfingers
Propaganda Under The Cut
Jaylen Hotdogfingers:
The greatest came-back-wrong character ever. She's the mayor of Seattle. She's was the best pitcher in the league. She was murdered by an umpire in an act of divine retribution for the fanbase's transgression. The fanbase exploited game mechanics to bring her back to life. Immediately she murdered 12 people. She died again and got revived a second time as part of a team of undead players that killed god. She's a really awful batter. She has, like, 16 songs written about her and they're all really good. I thought about her every single day for a period of six consecutive months. I love her.
I'll be real. I'm an outsider to the Blaseball fandom. I don't understand it. I think they've crowdfunded characters from fictionalized fucked-up Baseball stats and a dream. I love seeing what the fuck they're doing in their eldritch sandbox just so much.
Bruce Wayne (Batman):
he's babygirl your honour! single father of 6 (ish), world's least likable manwhore, he's obsessive and mean and cares a lot and is an asshole
he’s a whore. he’s batman. he’s terrified of bats. he’ll fuck villains he’ll fuck heroes he’ll fuck any consenting adult. he’s a dad. he’s traumatised. he beats the shit out of people. he can do anything with enough prep time. he creeps people out on purpose. he lives and dies by the bit. he is everything to me. truly the character of all time
#op underestimates how much blaseball fans love explaining blaseball#(it's me. i'm blaseball fans)#the game in question was a horror themed baseball game simulator that was started in 2020 as a pandemic project of The Game Band#at the end of the first season (real life week) fans voted to open the forbidden book which consequently:#plunged the moab sunbeams team into a hellmouth#introduced solar eclipses as a recurring weather#enraged the umpires so that they would go rogue and incinerate players during solar eclipses#and. as a first demonstration of this. incinerated jaylen hotdogfingers who was the star pitcher of the seattle garages#but was that the end of jaylen? no!#because the fans through some complicated finagling decided to do necromancy#and when she was brought back to the field she immediately started hitting other players with her pitches#which then marked them to be killed by the very creatures that incinerated her in the first place#anyway blaseball is a master experiment in collaborative storytelling everybody go listen to fan band The Garages#blaseball
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next year james patterson is slapping his name on a book called "the secret lives of booksellers and librarians," which is real bold considering that every bookseller and librarian that i've met in my time as a bookseller and librarian absolutely loathes him. including me.
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My heart is a fish
Hiding in the water-grass
In the green, in the green.
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for the art prompt "mouse world" - necromantic scions & cavaliers primary of the eighth and ninth mouse houses
aka op suffers from chronic symptoms of "read way too much redwall in middle school"
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when i was a kid i had moments of being so fucking diabolical because i realized at some point the best way to leverage power over my family was to do shit that would make everybody late
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The Murderbot Diaries (2024) Season 2 Episode 1
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i say this every year but tumblr didn’t start doing april fools’ gimmicks until 2014. one year previous, April 1st, 2013, was a certain Incident that i am CONVINCED caused @staff to think “we have to make an april fools’ theme ourselves, because if left to their own devices, they’ll do… That”
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