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locria-writes · 1 year

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Excuse me? Trash men can't be pathetic? Do I need to introduce you to the dub genre of trash men that is exactly that? 👀

the way i define trash in my writing is inherently incompatible with being pathetic and in this essay i will --

first, let's get this out of the way - when i say 'trash', i'm referring to the way i write trash, because there is a very careful and thorough method used to create these menaces while they're in the test tube. i don't mean trash in the way we endearingly/spitefully use it for characters we like/dislike. 'trash' is an actual category here with actual requirements.

so let me introduce you to the "trashman trifecta", a litmus test i use to determine which of my scumbag characters receive the title, and also just a quickie, this is exclusively for major characters, so don't go looking to apply to side characters --

self-centredness --the core component of my trashmen. the world revolves around them, regardless of how true it might be. malicious trashmen are self-centred in a selfish way, not caring at all how their actions affect everyone around them, while more benevolent ones are aware of the very difficult to grasp concept of "your actions have consequences". some rare breeds of trashmen are actually selfless though, and are cognizant of how their actions affect others, but they usually fall into one of two categories a) their continued actions are actively worsening the situation around them because they are a major belligerent, or b) their actions are affecting those immediately around them, but not actually making a change because they were never a player in the game to begin with.

violence -- there's good and bad violence in the world, and trashmen overwhelmingly perpetrate the latter. again, there are malicious trashmen who do so gleefully and knowingly, but there are good-intentioned trashmen who try to do good, but do more bad in the end. committing the violence isn't the key point here, rather, it's who was the violence directed at, why was it committed. whether sadism was involved or not is a different matter, but like normally the malicious trashmen are sadists too.

maltreatment of loved ones -- similar to the above, but not quite the same. this usually applies for romantic relationships, but broadly applies to anyone the trashman has fondness for. trashmen will hurt those around them, whether it's maliciously and consciously so, or unintentional and borne from good intentions. they tend to be incredibly stubborn, "my way or the highway", often resorting to tactics like force and manipulation to get compliance. sometimes it's a very active maltreatment, sometimes it's passive, or stems from passive behaviour.

optional traits include -- sadistic, sex weirdo, inferiority complex (usually of the unjustified variety), questionably misogynistic, has violated human rights, possibly a war criminal, manwhore, severe mommy/daddy issues.

now onto pathetic men, i think i just haven't written enough pathetic men on here to have it so easily classified. i also don't write them very much, so there's no way for me to compile a checklist to see who's a pathetic man or not. however, based off of the few i've written recently, i think pathetic is sort of a pejorative way i refer to them (with love of course), and that pitiful would be a better way to describe them.

actually, scratch that -- the pathetic part refers to the way they love, not so much their personalities (though majority of them are inherently very soft and damaged, and should be handled gently like fragile pottery). these men are more than simps; they're suffering second male lead syndrome as male leads. they're desperate when it comes to love; they wear their emotions and hearts so openly it's usually detrimental, and they do so despite bearing emotional scars. they always make bad choices in love -- they love those who don't return it; those who cannot express love in a way that makes them feel secure; those who they simply can't be with, etc.

however, they aren't cherry boys. cherry boys are usually very pure, young, and inexperienced when it comes to relationships. these men have experience, are fairly mature outside of their desperate need for love, and have experienced much of the world, and have always been continuously hurt by it. they're like kicked puppies who need to be wrapped in cotton wool, while simultaneously being able to strangle someone.

my pathetic (rather, pathetic-in-love) men are inherently gentle and loving creatures. they usually have some type of power that gives them authority, but their authority either means little in attaining their love, or they're simply unwilling to wield it in a selfish way. even if they have possessive thoughts, it will always stay just that, and never manifest outside of some clinginess.

i won't say that my pathetic-in-love men are the antithesis to my trashmen, but i'll say it seems very difficult for both labels to exist on a single character without there being some second personality.

#i need a meta tag this was an essay #i need to write some pathetic men for you guys it's an experience #i've been enlightened and converted okay #trash and pathetic aren't incompatible but they are when it comes to the way i classify my characters

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max-is-tired · 4 years

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It’s Fine By Me (If You Never Leave)

Pairing: Dukexiety

Characters: Remus Sanders, Virgil Sanders

Words: 2.062

Warnings: Sympathetic Remus, swearing, crying, kissing

Notes: I... might be starting to grow lowkey in love with Dark Sides ships sdkjvnsjkfvn

Anyway!! here is a new fic, not even a week after the last one I posted -miracles exist apparently. A big thank you to my boyfriend @afulldeckofaces for catching the mistakes that slipped past 3am me skvnsfjv you’re the best babe <3

I hope you guys like it!!

Commission me!! Buy me a coffee!! Join my Discord server!!

If you had told 15 years old Virgil that one day he would’ve fallen in love with none other than Remus Grimm, he would’ve probably ended up cracking a rib or two by laughing too much.

And yet, look at him now -19 years old ad head over hills for his best friend, who just happened to have had to move two towns over because of college.

God, feelings sucked.

Virgil groaned in frustration, letting his forehead hit the textbook lying open in front of him with a muffled thump.

He was tired. He was so. Fucking. Tired. Tired of college, tired of this stupid crush that kept stubbornly refusing to go away, tired of his stupid anxiety and tired of having to deal with all of this without his best friend by his side.

Yes, he was grumpy because he hadn’t seen Remus in more than a month, sue him.

As if sensing his worsening mood, his phone buzzed, breaking Virgil out of his thoughts. Letting out a series of annoyed grumbles and half-assed curses, Virgil snatched his phone from where it was lying on the desk, Remus’ wild grin staring back at him from the screen.

It was a photo they had taken that summer, just before Remus had had to leave for college. Roman had been the one taking it, the day Patton had decided to drag -for some more literally than others- their entire group out for some ice cream.

Remus had thrown his arm around Virgil’s shoulder, proudly showing off his chocolate mustache as the other fumbled with his cone to keep it from falling to the ground.

Virgil remembered glaring daggers at him for a total of two seconds before Remus’ waggling eyebrows did him in and sent him in a snickering fit.

Virgil remembered the weight of Remus’ arm around his shoulder, his warmth seeping through his shirt in a way that somehow, didn’t make him uncomfortable -he had never felt uncomfortable with Remus, not once, not even under the hot summer Florida weather in the middle of July.

He only saw that photo for the first time later that night, staring at Remus’ wide grin and sparkling green eyes as his heart hammered in his chest.

The realization had crashed over him like a tsunami, every thought in his head screeching to a halt as he slowly became more and more aware of the fact that he was very much in love with his best friend.

”Of course,” Virgil remembered thinking, staring at his phone with wide eyes, ”who else could it be?”

And boy if that thought alone hadn’t scared the living shit out of him.

For a moment, Virgil let his mind linger on the memory of that sunny afternoon, a soft smile stretching on his face.

Then, he swiped up and clicked on the notification.

”You up for a little chat?” read Remus’ message, followed by a string of random emojis Virgil didn’t even try to decipher -he knew it would probably be useless since they rarely made sense in the first place.

Virgil frowned, threw a considering glance at his textbook and the various papers still scattered on the desk and shrugged -it was not like he was getting anything done anyway.

“sure, why not”

Not even ten seconds later Virgil’s phone lit up with an incoming call, the first notes of My Immortal filling the room.

“Hey there Spider boy!” came Remus’ voice from the other side of the line.

Immediately, Virgil felt some of the tension leave his shoulders, relaxing back on his chair as he pushed himself away from the cluttered desk.

“Sup, Trashman,” he answered, not even bothering to fight down the tired grin tugging at his lips -Remus was not there to tease him about it anyway, so.

“Wow, don’t sound too excited to hear from me.”

Virgil snorted, his smile turning more and more genuine as the seconds passed.

“Fuck you.”

“Maybe later. But really, you sound like shit -everything alright? Are there some bones that I need to break?”

Virgil groaned, leaning back as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Now that he wasn’t panicking over his homework exhaustion was slamming down on him full-force, making it very hard for him to string together a coherent thought let alone think about filtering whatever shit was coming out of his mouth.

“It’s just… fucking everything, man. College is kicking my ass, my anxiety is kicking my ass and I’m just- I’m just tired, you know?”

From the other side of the line, Virgil heard Remus hiss in sympathy at his words.

“Yeah, shit, that sounds rough as hell.”

A beat of silence, and then-

“I can drive over and burn down your campus if you want. No college, no classes. Boom, airtight.”

Virgil couldn’t have stopped the amused snickers leaving his mouth even if he’d tried, shoulders shaking with his laughter as he fought to stifle it down.

“Thanks for the very tempting offer, but I think I’ll give it a pass for now.”

Then, he sighed, feeling his smile slip away as he stared at the ceiling, his sadness starting to creep up on him again. “... I miss you,” he whispered -he hadn’t exactly meant to say that out loud, but he had and now just couldn’t stop.

“I just- I miss our daily escapades and you sneaking into my room at the oddest hours of the day because you decided for some reason that simply using the front door was too mainstream.”

Virgil took in a ragged breath, distantly feeling his eyes start to sting with unshed tears.

“I miss being able to just call you when everything gets too much with the knowledge you’ll be knocking at my window in five minutes max. I miss having you physically by my side every day, I miss my best friend and I feel so fucking bad about it because you’re following your dreams and I’m proud of you, I really am but I also want you right here by my side and-”

Virgil audibly snapped his mouth shut, pressing a hand over his lips to stifle his sobs as tears streamed down his face out of his control.

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered, moving the phone away from his ear.

“Virgil-” Remu voice called, sounding worried and maybe a little desperate. but before he could say anything more, Virgil hung up, letting his room fall back into silence before throwing the phone somewhere on his bed.

Virgil bit down hard on his lip, but he could do nothing against the sobs that kept bubbling in his throat. One escaped, then another and soon Virgil could do nothing but curl up with his head hidden between his knees, yearning for the one person that could not help him the way he wanted him to.

+++

Virgil didn’t exactly remember when he fell asleep, his memory being somewhat hazy in-between the tears that seemed to never end and the way he kept feeling like something was trying to squeeze him to death from the inside-out.

What he did remember, however, was waking up to a very familiar sound -one he’d thought he wouldn’t get to hear again in quite some time.

Initially, during those few moments floating between dreams and awakening, when reality hasn’t quite set in yet and sleep still hangs heavily from your eyelids, Virgil had almost believed he was still dreaming, his own vain hopes playing cruel tricks to his brain.

But the seconds kept ticking and Virgil kept hearing the goddamn sound, so there were only two possible explanations -either someone was trying to break into his room, or-

Virgil bolted up, almost tumbling off the chair he had fallen asleep on -which, ouch- in his haste to get to the window.

And sure enough, there Remus was, with his signature manic grin as he waved at Virgil from the tree branch he was perched on.

Virgil stared, hands moving almost on their own as they went through the familiar motions of unlocking the window to let his best friend in.

“Thanks, it was starting to get chilly out!” Remus chirped, climbing in with practiced ease and plopping himself down on the bed.

“What the fuck,” Virgil answered, still trying to process what was going on.

“I- you- what???” Virgil felt like his brain was about to implode, his gaze flickering from Remus to the window and then back to Remus again.

“Dude, what the hell are you doing here? It’s fucking two am or something like that and you live like, three hours away!”

Remus shrugged, shuffling around so he could sit cross-legged in the middle of the bed.

“My best friend is hurting, why would I not come?”

“It’s the middle of the week, you have classes tomorrow,” Virgil weakly pointed out, starting to feel a little choked up with all the emotions coursing through him at once.

“It’s Thursday, or Friday morning is you wanna be accurate,” Remus easily countered. “I know for a fact that neither you nor I have anything important going on tomorrow and the weekend is class free, so I’m going to crash here until Monday morning since we both have afternoon classes. And no, this is not up to debate. It’s happening, Spider Boy.”

Virgil blinked, staring at him with wide eyes as his heart hammered in his chest.

There was a tingling sensation running through all of his body, electrifying in the best of ways. It felt like fire and ice and water altogether, filling him up and up until-

“I love you,” Virgil blurted out, unable to stop the words from tumbling out any longer.

Remus stared for a second before a dazzling grin took over his face.

“I love you too!” he chirped, grinning so wide Virgil distantly worried if it didn’t hurt to pull at the muscles that much.

“No, uh-” Virgil stuttered, all too aware of how flustered he probably looked at that moment.

He bit his lip, pondering his next course of action. He could still salvage this, just let it go and make Remus believe he meant it in a platonic way and nothing more, burying his feelings in the deepest and darkest corner of his heart. But on the other hand… did he really want to do that?

“I meant in a romantic way, Remus,” he finally admitted, looking everywhere but at his best friend, “I love you as in I want to be your boyfriend and kiss you and stuff.”

Silence fell, filling the room as Virgil kept carefully avoiding Remus’ eyes.

God, he’d ruined everything, didn’t he?

Then he saw a familiar hand reach out and grab a fistful of his hoodie, firmly tugging him forward before he could express his confusion.

Virgil let out a startled yelp, stumbling towards the bed until he found himself face-to-face with his best friend. Still grinning, Remus winked before leaning in, erasing the last few inches separating them as he kissed him square on the lips.

Virgil froze, eyes as wide as saucers as he tried to comprehend whatever the fuck was going on. But before he could do that, Remus pulled back, slowly letting his eyes slide open again as a small, soft smile tugged at the corner of his lips -it was such a strange expression to see on Remus’ face, but Virgil found that he didn’t mind it at all, as long as it was directed at him.

“I know what you meant,” Remus chuckled, pecking Virgil on the lips again for good measure, “and I love you too. Now, are you gonna actually get on the bed and cuddle or do I need to drag you under the covers myself?”

Virgil let out a startled snort, feeling like he was reeling from the last five minutes alone. Still, he dutifully climbed on the bed and flopped down, feeling his exhaustion start to creep back on him again.

Remus grinned, laying down beside Virgil and immediately cuddling as close as humanly possible.

“Comfy?” Virgil teased, moving his hand to gently card it through the other’s hair.

“Hush boyfriend, pillows don’t talk,” Remus grumbled, already halfway gone as he somehow snuggled even closer.

Virgil hummed, leaning down to leave a kiss in Remus’ hair.

Boyfriend, uh? Well, it did have a nice ring to it.

#sanders sides #dukexiety #virgil sanders #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #virgil angst #swearing #ts fanfiction #sanders sides fanfiction #maxiswriting

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eerythingisshaka · 3 years

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Ficmas Day #25 “Not a Creature was Stirring”

[Yahya Abdul Mateen II x Reader]

Word Count: 1.5k

Pulling up to your parents house, you reiterate some rules you have been repeating the entire car ride over to your parents place.

“I really just want you to keep things completely PG while we’re over here.”

Yahya voices his frustration as he parks. “Why do you keep going to that kind of thinking? I ain’t even that bad!”

“I know how you are. If you want to get a rise out of me, you will try me to the nth degree, and I just don’t want those problems this weekend.”

You get out of the car to grab a bag from the trunk before Yahya gets a chance to reply.

“Ain’t nobody worried about you girl. I’m trying to get more in touch with my in-laws so stay over there with all that.”

Yahya puts his hand up as a brick wall and walks up with you to the front door. You ring the doorbell, swaying in anticipation. Yahya looks down at you and back to the door.

“I love it when our fine ass is bossing me around.” He rears his hand back and lands a fatal slap to your behind right as your parents open the front door. They catch your expression in the middle of a painful shout, which you successfully morph into an excited shout as you hug and greet them.

Later on at dinner time, you, Yahya and your folks discuss surface level topics regarding their drive up and the weather.

“Yahya handled it pretty good. He’s an excellent driver,” you say with a smile.

Yahya wipes his mouth in between bites. “Your daughter is too kind! She really has the best driving capability between the two of us. You should see her when she is running late for work! She’s got her makeup done, hair done, and breakfast still cooking in the car as she moves through four lane traffic on the highway.”

They laugh a little too hard for your liking. You put a hand on Yahya’s leg, squeezing it to signal him to ease up on telling your business. As he laughs along, he slips your hand from his leg and up to his crotch. You pull your hand back so fast that your hand hits the table.

“Shit! I mean, God, sorry.”

Your check on you. “How did you do that? You gotta be careful. Just last week, your father almost broke his behind trying to catch the trashman. Y’all gotta quit rushing all the time!”

“Not my fault, but fine,” you say under your breath so only Yahya hears it.

After dinner, your parents say their good nights and part ways as you and Yahya head for the guest bedroom down the hall.

As you brush your teeth, you hear Yahya talking to you from the bed. “Dinner sure was good! Your Mama throws down when she in there!”

You rinse your mouth out and dry. “It’s my Dad who’s the cook. If you weren’t so occupied with thighs under the table, you may have retained that information.”

“Aw, he’d understand.”

As you exit the bathroom and close the door, you head straight for your side of the bed, sliding under the covers and turning from Yahya for some rest. It doesn’t take long for his hands to meander where they shouldn’t.

“Yahya…” you say in an authoritative tone.

“Mhm,” he says as he nuzzles his mouth into your neck. Your wriggle from under him, smacking his hands away.

“No! I am not fucking in my parents house!”

Yahya lays back in shock. “So we supposed to spend three days here all dry and celibate?”

You sigh in frustration. “Why not?”

“We married! They know what’s up! They probably doin their thing too!”

You gag, covering your ears at the thought. “You are disgusting me to the point of not fucking you for real.”

Yahya kneels beside you. “Ok, ok. I’m sorry. But for real, how can we just NOT get in where we can fit in. This is literally the only time to.”

He kisses your cheek, holding your hand. You bite your lip, feeling the persuasion melt over you.

“You know I can’t help myself around you. You know what I gotta do,” he starts licking and sucking on your neck, rubbing on your inner thigh to loosen you up.

Once your head falls sideways to make sure he doesn’t miss a spot, he knows it’s on. He turns your face to him as your mouth heads straight for his, tasting him like he just came off the vine.

“We just gotta be quiet. You can do that, I’ll make sure of that.” Before you know it, you’re pushing him down to the bed and his hands are gripping and smacking your ass as you grind against his stiffness.

“Whoa wait.” You get off of him and start to crawl under the blankets.

“What are you doing?” Yahya asks, looking jilted and blue balled.

“I’m not done! I just want to do it under here! In case of anything!”

“You locked the door, we’re good!” Yahya follows you under the covers anyway, pulling his pajama pants down.

“No! Keep them on! We’ll keep on our bottoms in case someone knocks and we gotta get to the door-”

“Woman, you are doing way too much thinking for this. I get it: panties to the side, let’s go!”

You laugh pulling him into you as his hands travel into your underwear, prodding around your entrance with his fingers.

“Shit, you’re ready for me. Come on top of me.” Yahya lays back, pulling his pants down enough to release his dick.

You refuse, shaking your head emphatically. “Just fuck me from the side or something! I don’t feel like riding.”

Yahya exhales sharply. “I’m thinking of you right now. If you want this over FAST, I need you on top. If you want it to LAST, we can do whatever else you think is best, but I won’t be done for a minute.”

“Yahya!” You groan as you roll over the top of him. “Fast, ok?”

Yahya helps you hold your panties over as he holds himself and aims for you. “I won’t play around, I promise.”

As you take him in, he wastes no time giving you his treatment deep and quick. You watch his face twist in angst as you hold on to the headboard and try to meet his rhythm, bouncing on top of him.

“It’s ok, keep still, baby,” Yahya says, gripping your thighs as he pushes his hips faster, meeting your edge every time.

“Whoa, hold on.” You breathe in sharply as you feel yourself about to spill over quicker than usual.

Yahya shakes his head. “Mm, almost done.”

As thankful as you are for the quickie, you’re about to sabotage yourself when you climax builds, washing over you like a tidal wave. A few whispered calls of his name and he gets the message.

“Keep gripping me baby, make it feel real good.”

“Oh God, Yahyaaa...”

Yahya can tell you’re close to cumming, covering your mouth as your moans get uncontrollably loud.

“Shhh, you gotta be quiet and take it, now.” He grits his teeth as he pounds into you a few more times, holding you tight once he finally unloads himself into you. He lets out short gasps of breath as his hand absorbs the audible signs of pleasure coming from you.

“See?” he says, “That was easy.”

Just as he lets your hand go, a knock at the door disturbs your adult peace. Yahya sits up too fast, causing you to fall over the wrong side of the bed and onto the floor. When the door opens, your mother pokes her head in.

“Sorry to wake you guys, I just wanted to tell my daughter something...Where is she?” She looks around the room a little from the door.

Yahya answers quickly. “She’s in the bathroom, but I’ll tell her when she comes.”

Your mother nods. “Oh I can wait, it shouldn’t take long.”

Yahya is quiet, you know you’re caught in an awkward situation if you get up and try to explain the lie and why you’re on the floor.

“Ma’am, if I can be blunt, I am naked under here, but not for what you think!”

“Oh!”

“I just prefer sleeping that way, I don’t want to disrespect you or your home.”

“No! Of course. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable!”

“Same here. You have a good night. I’ll tell her you came by.”

“No need, good night!”

As she closes the door, Yahya dives for it to lock it properly. “I thought you locked the door!”

You pop your head out, trying to breathe easy again. “I thought I did! But damn! That’s what I’m talking about. She will pop up out of nowhere! And why did you tell her you’re naked, that was the worst lie!”

“It got her out of here, right?” Yahya gets back into bed, motioning for you to join him.

“No, I’m going to make sure she tells me whatever she was going to so I don’t have to hear her for the rest of the night.”

Yahya nods, getting deeper under the covers. “Fine. Also, I like that you’re taking some of me with you while you do this.”

“You’re gross.” As you walk to your parents rooms, Yahya settles into the quiet, feeling serotonin taking him to a calm place. When he hears you come back, he turns to see you looking like you’ve seen a ghost.

“What happened?” He asks.

“I can’t believe...well the good news is, my parents are still in a loving marriage...”

#shakafic #ficmas

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tropicalfreckles · 4 years

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Beej?

Anon you’ve opened the floodgates you absolute fool(i’m kidding) OKAY, let me tell you all about what I like about the smelly trash man cause if it wasn’t obvious before with me not being so subtle I have a big crush and enjoy this stupid demon a lot (crush on musical beej specifically of course LAWL)

Why I Like them: OKAY IN ORDER, first movie Beetlejuice. I enjoy he’s a big sleazy asshole that has funny one-liners every time he actually just show up in the movie. He’s a fast-talking con man that acts like a used car salesman and he has a sleazy charm to him. I also enjoy watching Barbara school his ass every time I rewatch the movie, stan movie Barbara y’all she’s a babe and will take you down. I also like to thank Michael Keaton for his performance it was a great one and we all have movie Beej to thank for the other Beetlejuices we got!

Toon Beej! Adorable, a brat, a jerk, a man that would do anything to make a quick buck and he’s gross and such a petty shithead I love him lmao. He can be pure and adorable and nice when he wants to be even if he doesn’t like to show that he has a soft side. Also holy shit all his puns??? YES?? I LOVE PUNS. His jokes, his powers, everything about this middle aged dead ghoul is A+ and ya know what when karma does slap him that’s good too cause he does deserve to get taken down a peg some times lmao. Toon Beej is someone I’d happily be friends with.

now we get to my big ass crush on a stupid, smelly BASTARD OF A BUGMAN

Musical Juice. What don’t I like about him? Besides his dumb ass plan of a green card marriage lmao (I mean movie beej also sleazy af for doing that too). ANYWAYS. What I like. His stupid smile (both blum and brightman just WHY ARE THEY BOTH SO ATTRACTIVE AHHH), his unhinged pansexual disaster energy, who tf is letting this man do coke that is a terrible idea but it gives such hilarious results, the fact that he uses his humor with his trauma he needs to NOT call me out like that lol. I weirdly relate to Musicaljuice like a lot (as someone who struggles with trying not to be petty or get jealous and stuff like that), plus him feeling invisible and lonely also hit home really hard when people in middle school and high school would randomly just drop/ghost me out of the blue. He’s such a chaotic sleaze and I just enjoy his energy and his jokes so much. His dirty humor? Sign me up I keep it clean here folks cause I got another blog for dirty stuff but I like dirty humor when it’s done right lmao. Also dadbod. Dadbod is CHEF KISS. The little things I also enjoy. How he does have an affectionate side (him being just affection/touch starved also coming for the throat cause me too), the fact that he jumped to protect Lydia after she rightfully killed him and he even gave her his cowboy hat as a goodbye present. I thought it was nice of him to yeet out of there cause he did do a lot of bads lmao. I also love how excited he got and the chaotic sibling energy he had with Lydia when scaring. I just really, really enjoy musical Beetlejuice a lot guys.

Sorry I’m such a simp for him lmao

He is my emotional support bastard

Why I don’t: I honestly do not hate his character at all, but, I can criticize his actions. To a degree. I can’t exactly say (ex. Musicaljuice)“Oh no! a demon trying to kill Lydia’s friends and family?? How unexpected!!” he’s a demon he’s gonna do evil-ish things. Which is why I applaud Lydia taking matters into her own hands good kid 10/10. and like movie Juice is a bastard sleazy man of course he’s gonna have a shitty idea as to marry a teenage girl so he can freely do whatever he wants in the world of the living. He never in the final script showed any creepy shit towards her which god I am grateful for I don’t need someone perving on this teenager that’s already having a wild time in her new house. He’s a conman just trying to have a good time but goes about it by crappy means. The petty/jealousy thing can go too far some times (but I chalk that up to musicaljuice’s sad upringing along with not having an positive relationships that we know of in his life to support him) for musical and toon juice (toon juice once again I don’t think had any friends that really understood him when he was alive and when he died so he just does whatever he wants since people already think so little of him before he meets Lydia), however with the proper talking to I think both could improve from it. Like in an analysis way I know these guys are fictional just like character development thoughts. All three have said and or done some things ranging from like small shitty things to problematic obviously. Beetlejuice is a very complex character as a whole. Movie juice obviously not as developed since he’s barely in the film to kind of shroud him in more mystery but that doesn’t mean his motives aren’t intriguing. I don’t want to make this post longer than it already is so that’s just all of my thoughts summarized.

Favorite Episode (scene if Movie): Fav movie beej scene is hard.

His first time meeting the Maitlands, his charades with Lydia, then the ending scene are all so good.

Toon Beej I’m trying to think. Once again I’ve only rewatched like 20+ episodes for the cartoon so it’s hard to pick with limited options. Uhhhh I like the haunted attraction episode lmao also the creepy tree and how he went out of his way to help Lydia move her favorite tree and in the end tried saying something nice to the tree even though eh was annoyed with it the whole episode.

Musical juice that is HARD, Blum and Brightman just own every scene they’re in shit lawl. I really like the evil plan reveal during the séance. The whole being dead pt 1&2 (the guide reprise), say my name, his scenes with the maitlands.

Favorite season/movie: Skip

Favorite Line: NICE FUCKING MODEL!! *honkhonk* (pfft)

also like... everything beetlejuice says in the musical lmao “new phone who dis”

Favorite Outfit: HONESTLY I love every single outfit all three beetlejuices wear. I want the fucking guide hat so badly!!!

OTP:

hahahaAAAHH ah. Well. Ya see here. Let’s go with the first options. Cause of a number of artists on here I’ve been pretty keen on the BeetlejuicexMiss Argentina ship for moviejuice tbh lmao. I like the idea they had an office fling. Musicaljuice and Miss Argentina sounds cute too.

I don’t actively go into the Beetlands tag but I do think the art and idea for it (after a lot of building up trust/consent/and talking) think it can be a super cute poly ship! I like.

I don’t really ship Toon Beej with anyone tbh.

so now into the self indulgent shit lmaaoo

I love people’s ocs/self inserts with the Bugman a lot and I myself super hardcore ship my oc Leilani and musicaljuice. I... maye have drawn self insert art I have no posted here out of being shy but it’s on another blog that will stay hidden lmao. I don’t normally post self insert stuff of myself cause man I can draw it easily for other people but when it comes to myself I am shy.

I mean I’m writing a fic for beej and lani as we speak and you all know by now if you’ve been following me for the past couple of months I’ve drawn a handful of doodles plus commissioned numbnutspo to draw my self indulgent ship lawl

BROTP: The obvious for toon and musicaljuice is Lydia Deetz of course. Chaos siblings. Also I have a BROTP of my demon oc Antares with musicaljuice too. Dumb demon bros.

Unpopular Opinion: TBH Idk if I have one. I like to think there’s a resounding hiss @ the ship that shall not be named lmao.

A Wish: Same wish I had for Lydia’s ask, I wanna see the musical live REAL BADLY. I also wish I could tell the cast/crew of the musical how much it has helped me get through this shitty year and how it legit just revived my passion for drawing again. I got to meet a lot of people through the musical and made some new friends. Plus I’m actually making money off my art now???

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I wanna forget that clean beetlejuice from that one episode of the cartoon exists lmao it scares me (I mean I wouldn’t object to musical juice to taking a fucking bath or brushing his teeth but let’s be real that ain’t happening)

5 words to best describe them: Bastard, Unhinged, Handsome, 1-Brain Cell, Huggable

My nickname for Them: I mean when I refer to him or write fics it’s always Beej, BJ, Bugman, Bug, Bastard Man, Smelly Trashman, Garbage Man, Lawrence, the list goes on lawl

and now I have aired out more of my stupid obsession with this dumb demon

edit: I FORGOT HEADCANONS

OKAY HEADCANONS. Musical juice is definitely the oldest of the three, (in dead terms too, in alive terms he was ony alive for like less than 3 minutes or something), I love musicaljuice pansexual/genderfluid so much. I have a bunch but my mind is like blank rn for the rest shit sorry but I added those in at least

also I like the funny headcanon toon juice is taller than keatlejuice and musicaljuice

I also like the headcanon for autistic beetlejuice (as someone who is also autistic)

#asks #long post #anon #beetlejuice #musical beetlejuice #asks game #Anonymous

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eijiroukiriot · 4 years

Photo

hello! here it is! my shittyman stinkboy playllist! i have way, way more krbk-adjacent playlists than just 3, but since i’ve written abt my krbk playlist and my kirishima playlist i figured i should complete the trilogy! i wish i had smth real to post for bkg’s birthday but exposing what i imagine his shitty taste in music to be like is something, at least. happy birthday trashman

Spotify Link

song descriptions under the cut!

this is so much longer than my kirishima playlist solely because half the songs in here are just randomly-selected emo hits. for convenience’s sake and to justify not explaining most of them, i’ve split them up into categories!

Category One: Emo Kid Repertoire (read: songs that are on here for no particular reason, other than that i strongly believe bkg has bad taste in music)

i. Sugar, We’re Goin’ Down - FOB ii. Punk Rock 101 - Bowling For Soup iii. Teenagers - MCR iv. My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark - FOB v. The Phoenix - FOB vi. You’re Gonna Go Far Kid - The Offspring vii. Somebody Told Me - The Killers viii. I’m Not Okay (I Promise) - MCR ix. Addicted - Simple Plan x. Hope Less Romantics - Make Out Monday xi. Next Ex Girlfriend - Bowling For Soup xii. Don’t Let It Be Love - Bowling For Soup xiii. I Don’t Wanna Rock - Bowling For Soup (can you tell that my BFS phase was my emo phase) xiv. A Walk Through Hell - Say Anything xv. Gives You Hell - The All-American Rejects xvi. Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na) - MCR xvii. Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day (i wasn’t gonna put this on here and then i thought of the shots of bkg sulking around in the dark in the most recent op and started laughing)

Category Two: Edgy JRock Songs I Put On My Workout Playlist

xviii. Lost Time Memory - Jin xix. Children Record - Jin xxi. Goya no Machiawase - Hello Sleepwalkers xxi. Kyouran Hey Kids - The Oral Cigarettes

Category Three: Explosion Puns

xxii. Pow Pow - Elris xxiii. Bboom Bboom - Momoland

Category Four: Songs From My Krbk Playlist That Remind Me Mostly of Bkg

xxiv. Bad Enough For You - All Time Low (please read the desc on the krbk playlist post because i feel like this one doesn’t make sense otherwise) xxv. My Best Friend’s Hot - The Dollyrots (ok this one explains itself) xxvi. Idfc (acoustic ver) - Blackbear xxvii. Crush - Weki Meki xxviii. Animal - Neon Trees

Category Five: Kiribaku-ish Songs That Aren’t On My Krbk Playlist Because They’re Almost Entirely About Bkg

xxix. Su-suki Nanka Janai! - bandori lol

“Even so, your face is too close, and you’re pressuring me with those eyes!!

It’s not like that! It’s not like that, so - listen, I’m not that—— soft!!!”

-okay listen the dialect used in the chorus is REALLY tough-mean-teenage-boy (i’d expect the words it uses to be said like “that’s not it, stop it!!” but really it sounds like “you’re fucking wrong, shut your mouth!!!”) so i thought of bkg and laughed bc this song really doesn’t fit him at all

xxx. Kissaphobic - Make Out Monday

“It's cute when you do it, but Cupid is stupid -

He shot the wrong lovers”

-this song is...really good! very dramatic, very full of deep-seated anxieties that the person who loves you must just be mistaken because you’re not ready to be loved like that. very reminiscent of the boy imo

xxxi. I Drew You Once In Art Class - Antarctigo Vespucci

“When will I ever get it right? Maybe I’ll never treat you right

I’m gonna leave when you say you wanna leave, and shut up when you say you need to sleep”

-i love this song so much the actual music is so goofy and lighthearted while the singer is taking himself SO seriously. it’s like a perfect musical representation of spiraling thinking “oh god i fucked up this is the end of our relationship for sure” and then realizing. “oh wait i’m fine. i’m gonna do better” and then having one (1) less than ideal interaction and spiraling all over again. there’s something really funny abt it to me i always imagine bkg giving kirishima a cd and kirishima being like “i don’t really like this band though?” and then bkg flopping face down on his bed like “it’s fucking over. i did it. it’s over now”

xxxii. Everytime We Touch - Cascada

-it’s everytime we touch

xxxiii. Bad Mood - The Vaccines

“Oh, you look disappointed in me

Oh, am I not as thoughtful as you thought I’d be?”

-i highlight that line in particular because that’s what MAKES it for me. that’s what makes me picture a krbk breakup scenario every time where bkg wakes up the day afterwards still fuming and thinking abt it nonstop, and everyone’s like “hey man are you okay?” and bkg’s like “are you fucking surprised that i was never as good as you thought i was? fuck off i’m not some perfect boyfriend” feeling very edgy

-in reality no one’s thinking that but he’d sure convince himself they are

xxxiv. Give Myself To You - Vista Kicks

“I know you can do better than me

But I cannot do better than you”

-all of these are so angsty but i see this as like, a quiet self hatred anthem...aw i don’t want to describe it any more because i’m making myself sad on my own boy’s birthday but yeah i think of him w this one

xxxv. No Lover - Jetty Bones

“Romance seems like a means to an end

Maybe I don't need a lover, I just need the friend who carried my weight when my back was sore”

-i don’t...remember why i put this on here...huh...i guess it’s just a punky song abt being mad about being in love

xxxvi. Everyone But You - The Front Bottoms

-i’ve gotten this song suggested as a krbk song so many times and while i don’t actually like it much i do agree that i see the bkg energy so it’s here (i actually listen to my krbk playlist sometimes unlike this one lol)

xxxvii. Teenager In Love - Neon Trees

“There was a point when we were cool,

And it never went bad 'til you were holding his hand”

-i just heard this for the first time pretty recently, but i really love the balance of the “oh god being young and in love is the worst” and “oh to be young and angsty and be convinced being in love is the worst”. softly laughing from the future about how resistant you were to something that’s turned out so well for you

Category Six: kpop songs about thinking you’re better than the people around you or as i like to call it Bkg Trying Desperately To Hype Himself Up

xxxviii. Don’t Matter - Produce 101

xxxix. You Think - SNSD

Category Seven: Other

xl. RBB - Red Velvet

“OH MY GOD (he’s a really bad boy) he’s a really bad boy he’s a REALLY BAD BOY”

#there is sooooooo much emo music on here just a fair warning #im like 'i didn't really have much of an emo phase' and then i think of 20 emo songs that still slap on the spot #splitting the songs into categories was really tedious so it'd be cool if you read!! but also like 2/3 of these don't have descriptions #so it's ok if you don't #if i'm being honest i almost never listen to this playlist #i've gotta be in a good emo mood #but even then there's a lot of songs on here that . i could not imagine bkg listening to skgjdsfg #like the (very short) section of kpop songs whose names are explosion puns #that part in particular makes me think abt how fun it is to make character playlists #mixing what you think they'd listen to w songs whose lyrics actually parallel the character w songs you just like for them #it's a labor of love and we all know i love that awful little man #happy birthday shittyboy #thoughts #k2020

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nekoannie-chan · 4 years

Text

The doubt

Pairing: Brock Rumlow X Reader.

Word count: 1946 words.

Summary: Brock has a secret, you think he cheats on you, but what would happen if you discovered the truth?

Warnings: Maybe sad.

A/N: My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English, if you notice any mistake please let me know and I will correct it.

This is my entry to the @trashmenofmarvel ‘s Trashman’s 2K Trash Party with the dialogue prompt #13:

“Guess you were right about me after all”

I don’t give any kind of permission that my fics be posted in other platform or language (I translate myself my own work). If you find any of my works in a different platform and is not one of my accounts, please let me know. Reblogs are fine.

My other media where I publish: Wattpad, Ao3, ffnet.

If you like it please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog.

You and Brock had been dating for about three years, contrary to what everyone said and believed, in their childhood, neither of you had what could be considered a true family, so since you started dating it was what you tried to form.

When Cap joined the team, you noticed that Brock changed his attitude somewhat, it was as if he was afraid, maybe he would be moved as a leader since he had directed Strike for many years or maybe he thought he would lose you, there were many girls who were trying to conquer the Cap, but you had no eyes for anyone but Brock.

While they were preparing dinner, your boyfriend's cell phone rang, you noticed that he had tensed.

“Is everything okay?”

He looked at you doubtfully, it even seemed to you that he had turned pale.

"Yes, I know I promised you it would be a romantic dinner, but ..."

"A mission," you concluded.

He nodded, you had that bad luck that there was always a mission, you checked your cell phone to see if you also had to go, there was nothing in yours, although sometimes you didn't go together.

“I promise you that...”

"Just come back safe, I love you," you interrupted.

"I love you," he said before leaving the place.

That's how it went, you sighed, you weren't angry, but if you thought Brock was acting weird.

The next morning Brock returned, it had been hard for you to sleep, as each time you had a separate mission it was difficult for you to sleep, more than anything for the fear of losing him, instead of when you had missions together you protected the each other.

Brock was the only one who had been with you in difficult times, whenever you needed someone he was there, like when your family had kicked you out of the house.

He always seemed to be very rude and cold, but with you he was different, he had always been loving and cared for you, so much that he didn't mind getting hurt in the missions in order to protect you.

You had managed to fall asleep two hours before he returned, when he entered the apartment, he observed you, he didn't want to wake you up, he kissed you on the forehead and left the flower that had brought you to apologize for leaving.

"Hi," you said sleepily.

“Morning beautiful.”

He smiled all the time he had been worried, in fact, he didn't want you to know his biggest secret, yes, he had told you practically all his life and everything he thought, wanted and so on, but there was only one thing he didn't, first because he didn't know how were you going to react, second because he was afraid of losing you, losing everything that you had built in all that time.

"How was your mission?"

"It was something simple," he said without giving further details.

The strange behavior of your boyfriend continued the following weeks you began to suspect that something had happened in that mission ... or there was someone else.

One day you noticed that there were some documents on the table, it looked like a file m Brock had forgotten, both of you didn't use to check the files, but this time you needed answers. You took the folder, you started reading it, you were in shock, and you couldn't believe what you read.

Brock was HYDRA, HYDRA still existed ... doubts began to appear in your head, had he really loved you or was it all another mission? Your life now seemed like a lie, what should you do?

You didn't even hear when the door opened and Brock entered.

"Honey now ... what's up?" He asked when he saw the expression on your face.

He saw the documents, tried to remain calm, his worst nightmare was coming true, he had never wanted you to find out, and he didn't want problems.

“Y/N I can explain ...”

“Explain what? Everything is very clear, Rumlow — you said furiously while waving the documents.”

“Y/N ...”

“What? Are you going to lie to me again? All those things you were telling me were a lie, you were simply looking for a way to cover up appearances” — you snapped furiously.

"No, I don't ... I just didn't tell you the whole truth, I love you"

"You betrayed S.H.I.E.L.D., you betrayed me, I loved you, you played with me, I don't even really care about you, I don't believe you, and all this ... all this was a lie, right?" Your voice began to break.

You managed to regain your composure, you didn't want to hear more lies, and you were very hurt.

“Y/N, I ...”

"Go, I don't want explanations, I don't want to see you again," you demanded.

"I didn't betray you, I'm not leaving, I need you to ..."

"Okay, so I'm leaving," you said.

You took your bag and left the apartment, he tried to stop you, but you didn't let him, then he started calling you by your name, you ignored him and left, you didn't want to hear any more lies.

It had been two weeks since you had left Brock, while you had returned to the apartment where you lived before, you didn't answer the calls or messages and at work you ignored him.

You had felt bad, you did a pregnancy test, it was positive, you were not sure to tell him, you still loved him, but you felt betrayed, you knew his past and you managed to understand why he had joined HYDRA, but you did not understand why he had not abandoned the infamous organization or because I hadn't told you.

Someone knocked on your door, you thought it was Brock, and you see through the peephole, it was Steve, Natasha, Hill and a man you didn't know, you opened the door.

“Cap, Nat, and Hill” you greeted

They entered your apartment, it seemed that they were bad, it also seemed strange that they were going to visit you, it was not as if you were very friendly with them.

“Where is him?” Asked Steve.

“Who?”

"Don't act as a dumb," Nat said

You looked at Natasha without understanding, that day you had not presented yourself to work so you had no idea what was happening.

"Rumlow," said Steve.

"I don't know," you replied.

It was logical that they asked you about him, they did not tell everyone about their separation, it was also not like you were interested in others knowing.

“How are you not going to know? Asked Steve.”

"We broke up two weeks ago," you explained.

They didn't believe you much, so they made you accompany them, they didn't speak to you, but somehow you knew that they believed you were also HYDRA when that was a lie, you were thinking about what you should do, you couldn't stop thinking about all those times that you and Brock had talked about having children, if he left HYDRA, maybe you could have a life as a family...

The Helicarriers had taken off, you sneak out to look for Brock, you had a bad feeling, and you saw him climbing the stairs.

“Brock!” You called him

He stopped when he heard your voice, for a moment he thought it was not real, he turned to make sure it was real.

“Y/N ...”

I was very surprised, I didn't expect to see you in this place, after all, that had happened

“What are you doing? What did you do? “You Asked.

"Guess you were right about me after all," he replied sadly.

"Brock...”

“Y/N, I have a mission, after finishing it I will explain everything ... if you want me to listen,” he asked.

"Let's go, let's go together," you proposed.

“Y/N…”

"I have a bad feeling, please let's go, I need you ... we need you”

“You need me? Who else? “He asked confused.

He thought you were on the side of Steve and S.H.I.E.L.D., who had sent you to convince him to leave HYDRA, he had too many mixed feelings.

"We're going to be parents," you finally confessed.

He dropped his gun, which echoed when he hit the floor, he didn't expect such news.

"You just say it to convince me, you're kidding, right?" He said completely dismayed.

"It's not a lie, I'm waiting for your baby," you said firmly.

“How is that...?

“Do you really ask that?

Brock looked at the stairs that climbed doubtfully, the internal struggle he was having was noticeable, he could not continue doing that mission, and he could not lose the opportunity of what he had always wanted.

"To hell HYDRA," he sentenced.

He approached you, kissed you, and picked up his weapon, they would look for them, he was sure of that, but they would find a way to avoid it.

"We have to get out of here as quickly as possible," he muttered.

It seemed almost an impossible mission, it was difficult to distinguish between friends and enemies, and Brock was trying his best to stay safe.

They had managed to get out of the Triskelion, Brock kept thinking where could go, evidently to any of the departments, they would probably look for you there, especially after he had betrayed HYDRA.

Suddenly they heard how they carried a gun

“Stop!” Ordered a woman

You both turned, it was Hill, Brock stood in front of you to protect you, and he wasn't going to let anyone hurt you.

"If you want to fight someone, it will be with me, she has nothing to do with this," Brock warned.

Neither objected when you were handcuffed and taken away for questioning, you might find some protection.

“What plans does HYDRA have?” Maria asked.

“I don’t know.

That was true, you didn't know anything about that organization, more than what you had read in the documents.

"Why you run away?" Natasha asked.

"We were going to run away from everything, leave everything behind."

"You were going to continue with HYDRA's plans," said the Russian.

"No, we wanted to have a new life, far from all this, to start everything from scratch."

"You lied, you said they were done," Maria said.

"I didn't lie, we broke up, but we reconciled, we are going to have a baby, I found out this morning, shortly before you arrived, as soon as I told him, he decided to abandon the mission he had," you explained.

“Did you know he was HYDRA?” Nat asked.

"Yes and no, I found out two weeks ago, that's why I had left him, I didn't really know what to do."

"What were you and Y/N doing as HYDRA agents?" Steve asked.

"Y/N didn't know about this, she's not HYDRA, she found out just a few weeks before," Brock said.

After hours of an exhaustive interrogation, you could finally see each other again, now you had to wait until they made a decision about what to do, Brock assured you that he would do everything possible to mend everything he had done in the past.

"We have made a decision, due to the status of Y/N, we will protect them and say nothing about Rumlow, it will officially appear as one of the victims of the Triskelion, as long as it cooperates," said Maria.

“In what way?” Asked Brock.

"Giving information, where there are HYDRA facilities, the plans, whatever it takes to end them," Steve intervened.

"I will," Brock said.

Brock Rumlow would do anything to keep his family safe, the only one he had and ever had in his life and loved.

#trashman2kchallenge #brock rumlow #brock rumlow x reader #brock fanfic #brock rumlow fanfic #brockrumlow #brock rumlow x you #rumlowxreader #rumlow x reader #rumlowxyou #rumlow x you

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loveceit · 5 years

Text

i’m just. gonna ramble a bit about my feelings about the sides. based on personal experience/my past.

patton: he’s a dad who puns and that’s just not a good combination for me?? like it feels really stupid but i have a really hard time with puns. it’s like a combination of things: my brother and stepfather both do awful puns, usually wordplay or taking something literal. some, i understand, some i don’t. i don’t pun a lot myself because it’s not how my mind works. i just react negatively to puns and it makes no goddamn sense to me either but i do and that’s that. and then the whole being a loving dad thing. i have had three dad’s in my life, so to speak. my actual dad, my brothers’ dad (my former step-father), and my current step-father. my own dad? nice guy. too social for me. i stopped talking to him when i was like 15 because i just couldn’t deal with him and his family (his girlfriend and her two children, both older than me). also he was the first one to suggest i was autistic and that was a whole thing. he also uses my deadname the few times i go with him to his parents, so yeah. like he tries but he hasn’t really known me since i was a kid and there’s just a whole mess of feelings, like i’ve dealt a lot with feeling like a shitty kid because i’m happy without him but he was never actually bad. which brings me to my brothers’ dad who was actually bad. like he was okay for the first eight years but then my youngest brother was born and he was just not good. lot of shit i won’t go into but it barely felt like he was living with us because he was always locked into his office, and he hit my youngest brother at least once, and there was a lot of screaming. i can’t be upside down (so many roller coasters i will never try) because he used to lift me upside down, there’s a swedish kids song that is triggering because he used to sing it, and he was the first one to joke about eating my pet bunny and now i can’t stand any mentions of eating rabbits, even if it’s fictional. my current step-father is the best, but there has been a lot of screaming with him too, and he takes things too literal at times, and he’s the one who cooks. like i’ve been paranoid making dinner because he could walk up behind me and comment on my cooking. like he usually compliments my cooking but he’s pretty particular about stuff like how to clean the kitchen and i’m an anxious mess. also he had rules like “be up before 10am, no breakfast after 10 am” and he was on us a lot about going outside even though we had moved to like the middle of nowhere at that point. anyway the combination of all this: a good dad who don’t know me, a step-father that turned into an asshole (tbh he was an asshole the whole time, but like, from my perspective he was okay until i turned 8) and sung this stupid fucking song about erasing your frowny face and smiling instead, and a step-father that makes food and can joke and is nice most of the time (he’s way better now that only my youngest brother lives with him and mum) just makes me feel bad vibes from patton. i have a much easier time seeing him as unsympathetic.

logan: honestly the only bad thing about logan is when he suddenly screams falsehood without warning because that puts me on edge a lot. i don’t do sudden noises, especially not sudden raised voices. but like i can relate to not knowing modern slang or memes because i don’t either. but logan also reminds me a bit of my brother with the whole being compared to a robot thing and uh i have a complicated relationship with my brother as in we’re close enough that we’ve been yelled at for holding hands and had mutual friends make incest jokes which is fucked up, and i like vent to him a lot just because i can trust him to not get emotional, like i called him when i was suicidal and he calculated the math for what would happen if i jumped from my balcony. so like i like logan because i can relate to him a bit and he reminds me of my brother who is like my safe person in my family, but my brother is also the one who can’t understand why i care about society’s opinion and we’ve argued a lot about that because hey i’m a transdude whose mental health is impacted by misgendering and my brother can’t understand that because he’s detached from society in a way that i’m not. and logan doesn’t seem to care about society either so like i can see him being unsympathetic too but i don’t want to, just like i don’t want to fight with my brother.

deceit: because i was talking about society. and deceit cares about society’s opinion. and i can just really see where he’s coming from. i never had any internalised homophobia/biphobia or anything, and i came out to mum as a lesbian and then as bi without a second thought, but coming out as trans was a whole other deal (i got kicked out, and my friend could only put me up for a month, so i was forced to move back in and get misgendered because i didn’t have the means for an apartment at the time). i can just. really related to having to be selfish sometimes for your own wellbeing, and keeping secrets because you don’t know how people will react. he has a lot of good points. and like i relate to him not being listened to (see my arguments w my brother).

virgil: i have anxiety and depression and i’ve been suicidal and i can relate to virgil, especially when he sides with logan. i have a lot harder time liking him when he sides with patton. and i know anxiety doesn’t always make logical sense, and anxiety can be a real bitch, and virgil does have a mean streak. i like virgil, but i don’t like virgil when he takes patton’s side, and i don’t like prinxiety as a concept because when my mental health declines, my creativity suffers. basically i relate to virgil but i don’t want him near patton, or too close to roman, because that’s when he goes towards unsympathetic territory for me. but i like roman and virgil’s bantering and their friendship.

roman: dramatic gay with a big imagination and big dreams? i love him. and i have an easier time with his puns because his puns are nicknames. and being creativity is such a big responsibility and i just wanna give him a hug because i know what it’s like to get an idea and not knowing what to do with it or not feeling like it’s good enough. i also relate to being a romantic because sometimes you just wanna feel loved ya’know

remus: i’ve had intrusive thoughts. they’re not fun. but creativity doesn’t have to be pg13 and disney. channelling intrusive thoughts towards darker creative ideas is a good way of dealing with it. and sometimes you get curious about how it would feel to die or break a finger or something. it’s just thoughts. they’re not dangerous, they just want attention. remus could be fun. i like him. he’s just a trashman, with no real malicious intent. he wouldn’t do anything that actually causes lasting harm.

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gant · 5 years

Text

uhh here’s a thing i wrote at 1 am last night, a communication from dionysus to aquila after he goes NORTH

haven’t translated it into victorianspeak (or even british spelling for that matter) but dio’s an american and also a trashman so it’s fine

Hey. Aquila. Can you hear me?

...Why did you spend your whole life on me? I’ve never given you anything in return.

At first, I justified leaving because I thought you’d be better off without me. But I could see what it did to you. I hated seeing you like that. But I had a mission, someone to save - only I could do it. I wish you had a better sibling, someone who didn’t fall in love with a dead alien, someone who wouldn’t repeatedly kill himself to resurrect it.

I’m… Sorry. I know I told you that in my note, but it bears repeating. I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done to you. It’s easy to write off everyone else I’ve hurt as necessary sacrifice, collateral damage - but you’re my best friend. My only friend.

I hope you’re okay, now. At least, as okay as you can be. I want you to be happy; you don’t smile often, not since you were a kid, but I think that’s because you don’t live for yourself at all. I’m sure the others will find you - not much I can do from up here, but that soulless girl you keep hanging out with can find anyone, she’s actually really scary. Maybe you get along best with scary people.

I’ll be occupied for a while. W____ was apparently serious about its offer; I guess the information really was that important. So He’ll be back soon. Maybe I can go home, then; He has the most lovely wings. Please don’t beat Him up when we get back, I’m just as dreadful as He is, and you always manage to forgive me, even when I don’t deserve it at all.

...Aquila. I love you, okay? You’re the best sister anyone could wish for. I don’t know if you can hear me - I’ve no clue how to Correspond across this kind of distance - but. Just. Please, be okay. I know you can’t forget about me, no matter how much I tried, but keep living, alright? Try and take care of yourself for once.

See you later.

Uh, Dionysus, signing out? Stay well - goodnight.

#dionysus highwind #mentions Seeking so basic tws for that lol

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guitarspearmybeloved · 3 months

Text

I have no fucking idea why he's so attractive to me

he threw literal devil horns and my brain just went 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #adam the first man #adam hazbin hotel #bad boy #why is he so hot tho #rocker dude #devil horns #why do we love this trashman so much

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locria-writes · 3 years

Note

So between Tuk'oer, Vezian, and Valentin, who's the biggest asshole? I feel like these are top 3 amongst the trashmen but I don't know just who is the biggest asshole in the top 3 itself.

i got a wholeass essay on this topic

tl;dr --

valentin -- 7/10 asshole, but a pretty decent guy underneath it all. has his own moral code that he does mostly adhere to, is capable of recognizing his assholery, and is the only one on this list capable of genuine and unselfish love.

tuko'er -- 9/10 asshole, very little redeemable about him, except that he is capable of introspection and self-reflection. had the potential to actually be a great guy, but got too embittered by the world and can't let go of the past. capable of genuine love, but it'll never not be selfish.

vezian -- 10/10 asshole, he doesn't even have the cool tragic backstory the others have to back his shit up. he was never a good guy, not even when he was a protagonist, and not now as an antagonist-figure. i don't really know if he's capable of genuine love.

long essay

Valentin is objectively an asshole. He's a hypocrite when it comes to his treatment of MC, has no qualms about lying/cheating/murdering his way to power, and is just generally unnecessarily blunt, surly, and quarrelsome, but underneath all that, he doesn't just have the potential to be a great guy -- he's actually quite valiant, albeit with some moral liberties and questionable methods, but let's take what we can get, okay?

His whole arc revolves around his pursuit of revenge, at least that's how others see it. But to Valentin, it's a fight to amend his rightfully-perceived injustices. He isn't doing it wholly for himself, in fact, his primary motivation is to seek justice for his mother, and in a broader respect, for all the others who have the same story he does. He doesn't hurt those he perceives as weaker than himself, and he doesn't blame the faultless, most of the time. MC is is the only exception to this because through all the hurt and anger that's been pent-up, Valentin's able to justify to himself why she's an acceptable target, and bend his principles just this once.

Unlike the other two, Valentin's perfectly capable of genuine and unselfish love, and already demonstrates it before MC. If MC were anyone else, he'd absolutely treat her very well, and he wouldn't have any qualms about acknowledging any feelings toward her. MC's only flaw is that she's Burkhard's daughter, and at the very least, Valentin can acknowledge his hypocrisy and deep down, he knows it's unfair to hate and hurt her for reasons far beyond any control.

On a meta-level, is Valentin's character an asshole? Yes, but only in this specific scenario. If his father had been even just 10% less of an asshole, or if he had a strong and non-murderous paternal role model, he wouldn't be a victim of Asshole Syndrome. Would he still be a surly jerk? Absolutely, but he'd be pretty harmless to MC overall, so he's a 7/10 asshole in AAB, but a 5/10 asshole as a character concept, if that makes sense.

Tuko'er, oh this piece of shit, Tuko'er. Undoubtedly an asshole's asshole, he's petty, ruthless, vicious, and completely unhinged. He takes delight in hurting the one he loves, and even more out of just being toxic toward her, and to be totally honest, he just wants to drag her down to his level so he won't be so lonely down there hell. He's an irredeemable abuser who is perpetuating the cycle, but let's take a step back for a second to look at how we got here.

He grew up in a household where power was the only thing that mattered. His father scorned him and set out to purposefully to make him miserable because of his mother is, and his mother was emotionally-unavailable and resented him for being his father's son. His older siblings either ignored and tormented him, and the same went for the servants. Despite all this, he was still very much a noble and magnanimous wide-eyed idealist, though he was internalizing all of this shitty behaviour deep down. Tuko'er craved affection and validation, received neither from his household, and the only person he ever really connected with and felt 'seen' by was Utanzhu. Funny enough, his frustrations over how powerless and useless he was in helping her all culminated to him falling victim to Asshole Syndrome, and becoming everything he didn't want to be. Lo and behold, it worked in his favour, and validated his behaviour.

At one point, before he became an asshole, Tuko'er loved genuinely and unselfishly. He craved affection, but never thought he was entitled to it, but now, after embracing shitty behaviour so long, it's become completely twisted. He treats his consorts and Samazy indifferently -- polite, distant, and doing no more and no less than what's expected, while with Utanzhu, it's an all-consuming, irrational, and distorted love.

Like Valentin, Tuko'er is an asshole, but only under specific scenarios. If he had others he could trust, or if he had been sent away to a different court, he wouldn't have become a poster child for Asshole Syndrome. In fact, he would've probably completely embraced his noble ideals, and become more like Yumaju, to be honest. Or at the very least, closer to what Valentin is, misguided and hurt, and trying to retake control of his life by fighting against those who hurt him. In KoK, he's absolutely a 9/10 asshole with few -- if any -- redeeming qualities left, while he goes from about a 3-7/10 asshole as a character concept.

Now Vezian, my sweet and beloved Asshole Supreme. The OG Trashman, the Prototype Locria-Trashman, the guy who was just as deplorable when he was written to be a protagonist as he is now as an antagonist, an arrogant and pompous character who became a narcissistic psychopath the more I wrote him etc, etc, etc. I can't tell if he's more of a megalomaniac or a psychopath or a narcissist, but I can tell that he's a real piece of work, and desperately needs some therapy (to be honest, they all do though).

Unlike Valentin and Tuko'er, he actually had a very good childhood. Sure, there were some snide remarks about his status and his mother, but overall, his mother loved him dearly, his father was at the very least, not overtly-abusive, his siblings, the Empress, and the other consorts were all either civil, or just distant to him, and the servants charged with caring for him all treated him well. Sure, he was always an arrogant little brat, but in a way, it was justified since he was very intelligent and talented, it's just too bad he's completely embraced the Asshole Syndrome. Nobody who really matters puts him down, but Vezian's internalized those whispers he used to hear about himself as a child, and has now convinced himself that everyone sees him that way, and that Launcelin, is out to get him.

Can he love genuinely and unselfishly? At the moment, it's a tentative yes, since he does love his mother and Doradeira, but other than them, I don't know if he's capable of forming that kind of bond with anyone else, even if he does fall in love with MC. In 10+ years of writing him, I've always flip-flopped on this aspect because I'd like to believe in the best for Vezian, and that he can eventually learn to be less selfish, more open-minded, but the older I get, the less it seems likely because he doesn't think he needs help/change, and how can one grow and mature if they refuse to believe they need to in the first place?

So Vezian's absolutely an asshole in ABEA, 10/10 the others wish they could be as irredeemable as him, but on a meta level, I don't really know? I feel like he could become a regular harmless douchecanoe if he ever got the help he needed, but do I think he'd ever accept help, or even acknowledge that he needs it? He's still such a difficult character to grasp, even though I've been writing him the longest in this list.

#an absinthian ballad #king of kings #a broken ever after #aab valentin #kok tuko'er #abea vezian #i'm still surprised by how my feelings for vezian change so much #like i know him very well at this point but i still can't grasp this part of his personality #val and tuko i've written and ruminated over less but i feel i know them better #i'm just very fond of mc and the 3 male leads in abea i feel like i grew up with them lol #also i can't believe 12 y/o me accidentally wrote a genuine psychopath/narcissist as a hot male lead that's a yikes #i don't think i usually speak so fondly of vezian lol

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overwatch-imagines-hub · 6 years

Text

Got Tagged, So Here’s a Thing

Tagged by @punken316 (Eyy bby, if u want to get to know me, all you have to do is talk to me!).

Rules:

Pick three fandoms

Answer the questions about them

Tag ten people you’d like to get to know better (We’ll see if I have that many; if not I’mma start calling out my anons.)

Three Fandoms:

Overwatch

Hamilton

Marvel/MCU

(I write for those last two over at @imagines-hub and no, I will never stop shamelessly promoting my other blogs here.)

The character you never expected to love so much:

I almost put Zenyatta but definitely the Junkers (who come as a unit so shhh); I didn’t really see the hype for them when I first got into the fandom but honestly, I get it now

Honestly, everyone in Hamilton like who are these trashy people and why do I love them so much; especially Aaron Burr though, like I l o v e h i m (I completely stumbled onto Hamilton, btw; had absolutely no actual interest in it when I decided to start listening to pieces of the soundtrack)

The Grandmaster; sure, he’s a sassy trashman but I love him and I think we would get along

The character you relate to the most:

Loki because I too feel detached from my family and also want to fight people at all times

Aaron Burr because I just get it, yanno? I understand.

Alternatively, Alexander Hamilton because I too am short and want to fight people at all times (but I would make better decisions because I’m not a dumbass and Eliza deserves t h e w o r l d)

Soldier 76 because I too am an old soul who’s tired of the world’s bullshit, as well as the bullshit of the people around me but fuck it, let’s fight people all the time

The character you’d slap:

Reaper but I wouldn’t slap him, I’d give him a gentle shake and tell him that he’s worth so much more than he thinks he is

Alexander because stop making stupid decisions and ruining everyone’s lives including your own, you fucking prick

Tony but I wouldn’t slap him, I’d give him a tight hug and tell him that he’s worth so much more than he thinks he is (and that nothing is h i s f a u l t)

Alternatively, Deadpool but it’d be on the ass

Three favorite characters in order of preference:

McCree, Zenyatta, Lucio (These literally always change.)

Aaron Burr, Thomas Jefferson, Lafayette

Loki, Heimdall, Tony/Peter

The character you liked at first but not anymore:

Alexander Hamilton; not that I don’t like him, he’s just literally my least favorite character and it’s his musical

Death; she’s not in the MCU but she manipulates Deadpool and is the cause of Thanos’ mission to kill half of everybody (also I get copyrights but fuck what MCU did to that storyline; let Thanos be a petty fuqboi) so

Literally no one in Overwatch, I love them all

Three OTPs:

I don’t really ship anything but Me x Character, so I’mma just list the first three ships that come to mind.

McHanzo, Gencio, MercyKill

Lams, Hamgelica, poly!Hamilsquad (I couldn’t remember other ship names <’DD)

Spideypool (not involving minor Peter), StarkPotts (what’s their ship name I don’t knooowww), Stucky

I’m t e r r i b l e with ships, can you tell?

Tags:

Guys, I only have three tagable people that make sense on this blog, I’m coming for the anons.

@krenee1drful

@yakovwasntred

@professionally-homo (who I can’t fuckin’ tag for some reason)

@imchrisevansshoe

Prof. Gay, tell E to do it too

Boxer

Disney Queen

Roo

Fuckin’ idk man

I feel like I’m missing people but my brain is fighting be so fuck it here’s eight I suppose, over half of which I can’t even tag cuz anons

Listen, y’all, do it or don’t I don’t rlly care but I hope you enjoyed my thing.

#tagged #this was horrible #hamilton #overwatch #marvel #mcu #enjoy

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ask-abby-and-belle · 6 years

Text

Happy Birthday Mod Scribble!

Good morning everyone! It’s Mod Scribble’s birthday today! Go send some love to the birthday girl~

While you all do that, here's a little present I wrote for Mod Scribble using her OC, Abby! Hope you enjoy it, Scribble!

The night was drawing near. Abigail hurried around the corner and down the street, tears streaming from her eyes. The sky was covered in huge gray clouds, hinting the possibility of rain. The whistling of the wind echoed throughout the neighborhood, but that was the last thing on Abby's mind. Abby's fists clenched as she bolted in the direction that would take her to Osomatsu's house. Step by step, her short legs drew her nearer and nearer to the home of her true love. But with each step, she began to wonder more and more if telling Oso how she truly felt about him was a good idea. What if he didn't take her seriously? What if he didn't return her feelings? Would he even dare look at her ever again? As these thoughts flooded her mind, Abby caught herself slowing down until she came to a complete halt. As she stood in place, trying to catch her breath, the wind pushed against her direction. She looked into the clouds and realized there was no way she could pull this off. How could she think- even for a second- that she could tell the love of her life how much she loved him? What the hell was her roommate thinking when she encouraged Abby to go to him? With her head hanging low, She turned around and began to head back home, the wind gently pushing her along the way. It was terribly cold out, but the thought of Osomatsu gave Abby a warm feeling. His dorky smile was always enough to brighten her day. His stupid laugh was obnoxious- but a good kind of obnoxious. And who could possibly forget about his upbeat, goofy personality? Nearly everything about him was amazing, in his own charming Osomatsu-like fashion. "...No." The tiny tsundere stopped dead in her tracks and lifted her head. She had already made it this far- there was no way she was going to stop here. She couldn't possibly wait to tell Osomatsu about her true feelings anymore; it was now or never, and it sure as hell wasn't going to be never. Quickly, Abby turned around and ran faster than ever to the Matsuno home. The wind was beginning to pick up, fighting her harder than before, but fuck it. With each footstep, she opposed the wind and where it wanted her to go. With each second, she was reaching closer and closer to her goal. It wasn't exactly easy, but Abby continued forward until she eventually caught sight of the door to the home of the Matsuno brothers. This is it, she thought to herself. No point in turning back now. Abby raced to the door and pounded her knuckle against it several times. "Osomatsu!" She called out, her voice shaking. "Get your stupid ass out here!" The door opened, and a highly concerned Choromatsu stood at the other side. "Abby?" He spoke to the tiny tsundere. "What-" "Choromatsu," Abby softly sqeaked between breaths, cutting off the green hooded Matsu. "Where.. the FUCk.. is Osomatsu?" "O-osomatsu?" Choromatsu could not be any more confused. "Why-" "WHERE?" She glared deeply into the frog boy's eyes, which sent a sudden chill down his spine. What the hell was going on? Choromatsu opened his mouth to speak, but no words escaped his mouth. "..." The only thing he could do was look at the girl in front of him, who was now starting to wrap her arms around her body from the weather. Snapping out of his daze, Choro helped the freezing tsundere inside, guided her to the living room, and handed her a blanket to warm her up. Abby wrapped the blanket around herself and sat down on the couch, thankful to be inside the warm, cozy home of the Matsus. "Is everything okay?" Choromatsu asked the tiny girl. "What happened with Osomatsu?" He exists, Abby mumbled under her breath, and it's tearing away at my heart. "Huh?" "I mean..." Abby diverted her attention away from Choro, holding a portion of the blanket close to her heart. "I just..." She looked back at Choromatsu, who gave her a gentle, reassuring smile. Abby huffed. "If you don't mind, I need to speak to him. Privately." Choromatsu respectfully nodded, knowing exactly what she was talking about. "I'll.. get him for you." While Choromatsu made his way upstairs, Abby could hear the rest of the brothers making a huge racket. She was able to make out each of their voices individually, especially Osomatsu's. He had such a sweet and vibrant tone to him that complimented his dorky, trashy personality. It was the voice that she would soon have to hear personally. Before long, the upstairs racket began to settle. Within less time, the brothers were dead silent. Abby felt her heart pulsate as she knew what she had to do. Sure enough, Osomatsu was seen making his way downstairs. He was pulling off his signature dorky smile, but thanks to the tense atmosphere it was obvious that he was more nervous than he would admit. Abby stood up from the couch to face Osomatsu. Her fists were clenched, and her heart was beating faster than ever. Every second for her was a battle against the urge to give up and flee. "Abby-chan~" Osomatsu swooned. "You came all the way just to see m-" "Shh." The tiny woman silenced Osomatsu by placing her finger over his lips. He complied. "Listen," Abby stuttered as she struggled to find the right words. She nervously looked at the ground, then back at Oso, then back at the ground. "I... I'm..." Recollecting herself, she took a deep breath and faced Oso again. "Every time I look at you, every moment I'm reminded you exist, my heart skips a beat. Whenever I hear your voice, I shake over how fucking CUTE it is. And.. every moment I'm around you.." She placed her hands over her chest. "Every moment I'm around you my heart feels like a big ball of warmth that's ready to explode right out of my chest!" After realizing how tightly she was gripping onto her shirt, Abby straightened it out and cleared her throat. "And I keep thinking to myself, 'wow look at this amazing person! How could he ever love someone like me? Am I even good enough for him? What have I done to deserve such a cutie pie in my life?" Abby's eyes began to water. "Look, I know I haven't exactly been nice to you, but it's because I was scared. Scared of what would happen if I let myself become too attached to someone like you. But now.. with each passing minute- no, with each passing second, the pain of holding back these feelings is stronger than the fear of losing you. What I'm trying to say is..." Abby wiped away her tears and looked Oso dead in the eyes. "Osomatsu, I.. I'm in love with you!" The entire time, Osomatsu was watching in both surprise and awe, his cheeks completely pink. His hand was placed over his heart, completely moved by Abby's words. "Abby..." He spoke. Abby's heart began to sink as she feared what he would say next. "You..." Osomatsu's face faded into a bright smile. "You actually said it!" "Well..." Abby's cheeks turned red. "Well no shit I said it! Did you seriously not listen to any of it?" "Nono, that isn't it! It was.. just really touching to hear you say it!" "Hgg---" Abby felt a huge lump in her throat. Touching? Osomatsu found her words... touching? Flustered, she turned her head away from him. "Aww, don't be so shy about it~" Osomatsu teased. "To be completely honest.. I feel the same way about you." Abby turned to face Oso again, a soft look in her eyes. Osomatsu grabbed Abby's hands and gently grasped them in his own. "I've had deep feelings for you ever since the day we first met. I didn't want to say anything, mainly because I didn't know how you were going to take it." He let go of Abby's hands. "Besides," he joked, rubbing his nose, "what girl would ever want to date a useless piece of shit like me?" Abby glared deep into Osomatsu's eyes. "This girl, you big idiot." Osomatsu's cheeks turned a deep red. He couldn't believe this was happening. "Abby..." Osomatsu's voice carried a bit of nervousness, but was still just as sweet and dorky as ever. "...I love you." Abby's eyes began to water. But this time, they were tears of absolute joy. She rammed herself into Osomatsu's torso and hugged him tightly. Accepting the sudden hug attack, Osomatsu smiled and lovingly wrapped his arms around the tinier woman and hugged her in return. "I.. love you too," Abby squeaked between breaths. It had been such a long time since she last felt this happy in her life. She buried her face deep into Osomatsu's chest, smelling the lingering scent of cheap beer and oden in his sweater. It was a trashy kind of scent, but a good kind of trashy. It was the smell of the love of her life; the one she thought she'd never have a chance with. But now, here she was, embracing him, locked within his arms. ~~~~~~ Abby and Osomatsu both looked out the window. Night had already came, but thankfully the terrible weather from earlier was gone- At least for the most part. "Tonight was... nice." Abby's cheeks began to flush. " And as much as I don't want to go out in the dark, I really do have to head home." Osomatsu glared in the direction of the door. It was true that Abby didn't like the dark, let alone having to walk home at night. "I can take you home~," Osomatsu suggested, smirking like the piece of trash he is. "N-no! I mean..." Abby looked away in embarassment, realizing that breaking her old habits were going to be more of a challenge than expected. "...Yes." Grabbing the blanket used to warm Abby earlier, Osomatsu wrapped it around her's shoulders and led her out the door. Once outside, She clinged onto Osomatsu's arm, her cheek pressed against the sleeve of his sweater. Osomatsu chuckled, admiring how adorable his girlfriend was being. Abby chose to ignore the dumb dorky trashman and walked out into the streets with him. It was dark and cold, but with Osomatsu by her side, she felt much more at ease, and it was only going to get better from here on out. "FUCKING FINALLY!" Abby stopped dead in her tracks as she heard someone screaming from inside the Matsuno home. She glanced back at the house, and sure enough the other matsus were watching the couple from their bedroom window. Each of them were completely frozen, ridden with guilt. It's safe to assume they're fucking dead.

#mod psychedelic #OOC #Abby #osomatsu san oc #osomatsu san #osomatsu #osomatsu matsuno #choromatsu #choromatsu matsuno #oso x abby #writing #long post

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littlethingsaround · 4 years

Text

i was born and thought to feel.

one day when I was 5, a rain come hardly. i was playing inside with mother’s tupperware, using white-red raglan. An old man suddenly came. He asked mom to stay inside our garrage. He brought his huge cart. He was a trashman. His clothes was too dirty to wear, and his face was too old and pale to be alive. Mom then gave me a bunch of money. I mean, a bunch. I remember my hand can’t hold them all. And it was hard, to give it to the oldman using only one hand. I remember there was this one 500 rupiah with orangutan picture cover them all. I don’t know why mom gave that much money. I didn’t even ask. But I can feel. I can feel the gratefulness within that old and trembling hand while he was receiving it. I can see hopes within those dimmed eyes.

one day, when I was 10. Mom asked me to go to a village faraway. A village where nobody can read. A village inside a huge huge forest. There, we sell our clothes, with some of the aunties. I didn’ understand, why we sell the clothes by 1000 rupiah only. We won’t get rich by it, right? even at last time we give all those clothes for free. I don’t know why all that we do was against all the mathmathical theory that I loved. I didn’t even ask. But I can feel. I can see that little girl using black long dress laugh so hard while receiving my pink shirt. I can see the teeth of old old grandma, while mom gave her yellow veil for free. I can see father’s feet there were dancing while we said we’ll come back again with lots of food and we’ll be cooking together.

one day, when I was 17. I was sent by the boarding school to a little village faraway from the dorm. I taught the first grade to read. they can’t even recognizing alphabet! when I came, they were busy of cleaning all the class from the goat’s poop. Bcz that school was used as the goat’s cage at night. I then had my first student name Rey. Reyhan. I then had my first fav student name Tedi. It got me, when I knew that not all of the children got the dream they wanted. It shocked me, when knowing that 12-y.o boy can be that sixpack, a mark of helping His grandma working at the ricefield. I didn’t know why. All question came, and as fast as it came, it’s gone. I became so suffering of the thoughts I can’t answer. But I feel pain. I feel pain when seeing janur screamed at the cliffs, asking why whould this life so unfair for him. I feel pain when seeing Ros holding my hand tightly and said, “don’t go. don’t leave us here please..”. I feel pain when hearing them eat only with cucumbers that they’ve planted. I can sense many things inside and up in the air, yet can’t answer any single question me, missing my sense. been separate with it quite a time :)

0 notes

investnlord · 7 years

Text

Favela

Hardcastle: ***

Trash.

Big smelly pile of it

Old fruit and rotten milk

Damp and hot in the tropical heat

You writhe around inside the dumpster

You're multi- thousand dollar suit ruined

Pull the rotten trash bag across you like a blanket to block out the cracks of light and traffic sounds

You are trash*

Spaghetti: assess limb status^

Hardcastle: 2 arms, 2 legs, 10 fingers, 9 toes

All there*

Spaghetti: assess own species^

Hardcastle: Hume*

Spaghetti: excellent

it is i

the human

here to take ass and kick names

i want to get out of this dumpster

this hellhole

i want to feel

human again

remove trash bag

Hardcastle: (rise)

Spaghetti: assess clothing situation^

Hardcastle: (RISE)

Hardcastle: You sit up and flip a banana peel off your formerly immaculate shirt

You would look like a day-trader save for your filthy body and your missing shoes

You hear the cacophony of the noisy street beyond the alley

You notice the tan line on your wrist indicating your watch is gone*

Spaghetti: hmm

maybe i've been robbed

boondoggled

left for dead

or at least dirty

either way i want my revenge

assess socio-economic situation

basically - which kind of food place am i going to here i got a powerful hunger and i don't think Tito's Valu-Meal leftovers is gonna cut it

jk haha he doesn't ever have leftovers

fatty fat-ass tito*

Hardcastle: Big ol' Teets

You are in

Super poor town

The Favela

Where you eat off the…

Well…

napkin

Spaghetti: man hmm ok

let's hit

the bodega

where i will get

bodega food

exit dumpster, what's nearby^

Hardcastle: The bodega

A man is playing street drums

Do you enter?*

Spaghetti: fuck yeah street drums

LOVE me some street drums

i bust a move as i enter

the bodega^

Hardcastle: That sweet sweet A/C hits you like ballsack

Spaghetti: (i love.. cold ballsack)

Hardcastle: neatly stacked piles of everyday items

A hairy man eyes you over a magazine

-flips-*

Spaghetti: i don't like this guy

the way he eyes me

over his copy of Look magazine

i want my takis fuego corn chips

navigate to chip aisle^

Hardcastle: You see all the crunchies

they have

los chips

frito lay

…

Marcas

portuguesas

Pringles

A dead dove

Cracker Jack

Whatever you need*

Spaghetti: all of them

i need all of them

stuff them in my shitty shit shirt and run out

i have things to do!^

Hardcastle: You fill up until you look like a waddling scuba diver

and you crinkle as you slip out the door

The man calls out to you

first annoyed

then furious

you hear more voices join him as you shuffle out the door

You stand on the hot sidewalk of a busy street

Children are kicking a hard- used futbol as a car honks trying to idle past

Hookers smoke on the corn outside the bodega you just exited

A pharmacist across the street is yelling at a customer

As you finish panning the scene you feel the vice grip of a large hairy hand on your shoulder*

Spaghetti: not on my watch

Offer him a single frito

High-tail

It*

Hardcastle: He's startled as you pop the bag open

The frito smell wafts into the local atmosphere with that

sultry corn chip allure

Chochaco is taken aback by the sudden effrontery of having a single frito curl flicked at his gob

It bounces off his nose and a beautiful tropical crow snatches it inches about the sidewalk

This moment stretches out in text but you've already hot footed it a block by the time the indignity settles in

You hear yelling and samba

Something whizzes past your ear

Spaghetti: (The frito?)

Hardcastle: Followed by a hollow crack of a pistol shot*

Hardcastle: (not a frito)

Spaghetti: (Oh no)

Spaghetti: Assess ear status^

Hardcastle: (don't die in the favela Spaghetti)

Spaghetti: (I'm getting the fuck out of this favela)

Spaghetti: (But I need to check on my ear)

Spaghetti: (It's my favorite ear)

Hardcastle: Ear is like itchy

but not injured

He may not miss twice

You duck into an alley

Classic move

They run past thinking you're clever

You have a moment to breathe*

Spaghetti: Cool ok

Totally eared up

Yeah boyo

Do a quick flex

Get the cool juices flowin

Cuz I'm onto

the whores

Take me to the whore bodega!^

Bourbon: (Spaghetti why are you using a caret)

Bourbon: (where is the traditional *)

Spaghetti: (Idk I can go back)

Spaghetti: (I prefer the traditional)

Bourbon: (no i mean whatever i was just curious)

Spaghetti: (I was confusing it for when we do a three way

Spaghetti: I see that it is just the two of us and I can do what is right)

Spaghetti: Take me to the whore bodega!*

Hardcastle: You kinda sneak back onto the main drag

Crinkling all the way you chip hoarding slut

criminal

You head back to the currently unoccupied scene of the crime

Hoes be hoe'in

A big booty with bangs clicks her tongue and beckons you over

You into it?*

Spaghetti: I am the chip slut

And I've come for my whores!

I think I'm into it

How grand is the Kiester?*

Hardcastle: Oh man

You ever go to the pumpkin patch

It's just poised there

I mean those booty shorts must be

stressin'

Spaghetti: (Are they even shorts)

Hardcastle: (They're riding too high)

Hardcastle: She's running her bejeweled hand up and down your stomach all hola

The chips are turning into more chips and those chips are turning into dust

Spaghetti: (RP chat gettin racy)

Spaghetti: (nice)

Hardcastle: She's wanting to take this upstairs to negotiate

Hardcastle: (We've been here before actually)

Hardcastle: The street is eerily quiet

People darting inside

Western movie style

What do you do?*

Spaghetti: This is a god damn stick up

I never found my lot in life

Never figured out my purpose

But

I feel like I remember my.. ancestors?

Father

Dad

Telling me

go with the whore

I go upstairs*

Hardcastle: Hell

Yes

Aight she's all leading you

Over to the door

with the stairs that go up up up

into the dumpy hole of this bad neighborhood

you feel the heat of midday and your garbage shirt is sticking to your pits and low back

nasty

a bag of chips slips to the ground you filthy animal

do you bend to snag it up or do you press on with the lady (ha)?*

Spaghetti: Dad never said it'd go like this

But here I am

Shirt from yesterday's binge

Cheetohs from today's cringe

Fuck it

Man what she know the difference

aight*

Hardcastle: (so... so you press on)

Hardcastle: (you leave the chips)

Hardcastle: (right?)

Spaghetti: I wish to press the chips onto her

Hardcastle: (so you go with her)

Spaghetti: There's no one to trust not even my brain

i go with Flo*

Hardcastle: Aight okay we're going with that

You step over the bag and it disappears from your life forever

but there are more

you took a lot of chips no wonder dude was pissed off

thief liar

…sinner

She's into it though you can tell you're totally getting a discount

not sure about the food play but whatever man

let's see

She takes you into a little knocking shop- looking corner and just grinds that big booty on your chips

the crinkling drives you insane

She gets a handful of frito dust and blows it in your face

Spaghetti: (this is what a preteen thinks sex is like)

Hardcastle: As you clear your eyes you see a man- willowy, blond, in a white suit with gold framed aviators

A semi-automatic pistol in his waistband visible as he reclines watching the show

He's grinning a big ol' evil grin but says nothing

There is a very loud banging on the door beside you. Someone who is pissed and wants in. What do you do?*

Hardcastle: (shit sorry that's so much)

Spaghetti: Uhh

Man

This is a dude

flo is nowhere to be found

This guy looks familiar

I look at him

"Dad?"

I open the door*

Hardcastle: In flies Sr. Bodega

All 300 hairy lbs

Spaghetti: (Fuck)

Hardcastle: He is

FURIOUS

roaring at you just

garbled speech making no sense

his spittle sprays you and more frito salt stings your nostrils

aunt flo booty has split

parts unknown maybe a trapdoor

who knows how hookers do this

Big man (although he certainly isn't large) is just chucking maniacally at being called "Dad"

Sr. Bodega is choking the fuck out you slamming your head into a wall

Mr. Blond says something in Portuguese and the bodega giant hesitates and looks back at him

and at the semi-automatic which has materialized in his hand

Before you know it he's out of the chair and across the room caving the ogre's nose in

There's scream and wail as Blond looks to you and drops the shades

"Been looking for you, man"

"All over"

"Shit... sorry you got your cock blocked"

His eyes widen like a terrified whippet "Do you want to finish him off?"

He offers you the ivory handled .45*

Spaghetti: Fuck

Spaghetti: I ain't never iced a dude before

Spaghetti: I don't think I..

Spaghetti: hah

Spaghetti: Fuck

Spaghetti: Aim

Spaghetti: Fire*

Hardcastle: Oh shiiiiiiiiiiii-

You snatch the gun from B-Bro's hand

He titters like a madman as you place it to the screaming man's dome

and pull the trigger

Blond pats his knees and stands to leave

He beckons for you to follow

You see out of a corner window blind there is a large black Escalade outside*

Hardcastle: (Question here is do you follow?)

Spaghetti: I don't think this is my dad

But I sure ain't got a lot of choice

Follow the man*

Hardcastle: He leads you down and into the Escalade

The A/C blasts you Mr. Freeze and you smell yourself against the rich Corinthian leather

Trashman

Who murdered a chip vendor in cold blood

Spaghetti: (Look)

Spaghetti: (Ok?)

Spaghetti: (Ok)

Hardcastle: As the vehicle rolls away you see the flames licking up the side of the building

Another trash fire in the favela

You are moving to the {Heist}

{Heist} will dehumanize yourself and face to the bloodshed

Spaghetti: (See here I think I won)

Hardcastle: Mr. Blond takes his pistol back

Spaghetti: (We pulled off the Great Crisp Caper)

Hardcastle: and wipes the blood with a hanky

He's got something much bigger for you*

Hardcastle: ***

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