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#why can't they be REAL

azamitetsuya · 1 year

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Anybody else see a very amazing, very convincing cosplay on TikTok and just think "Please fuck me till I'm screaming your name and making a mess of the bed" No? Just me?....... Ok 🥲

#why can't they be real #cosplay #tiktok #clock app #wishing they were real 🥲

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artbribery · 1 year

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Danny is summoned but tells each different summoner that he is a different being.

He just gets fed up with it and says:

“No, I'm actually the fairy godmother and you don’t qualify as cinderella, unless you’re a young girl who wants to go to the ball, are you?”

“Sorry, I’m a genie and I just lost my lamp, very sorry, didn’t rub the bottle, no wishes for you.”

“For the last time, I am not the ghost king, the lines on the summoning circle are all wrong, see, that right there means I am not of the ghostly category, I’m actually- yeah you got shit calligraphy Chad, will you let me finish I’ve been planning this one for a while--”

“So yeah I’m the easter bunny, what, you think the easter bunny has to be a bunny just because of the name? Not everyone gets an obvious name”

“I’m Batman”

This last one probably backfires one day when he gets summoned into a cultist’s basement in front of the tied up Literal Batman and he goes double dare on the death by embarrassment by saying that one is a fake and how dare they, for shame, this poor cosplayer--

Bonus:

He was summoned into the Watchtower by the JL. Danny is wearing a spacesuit costume and goes “Uh.. Houston, we have a problem.”

#dp #dp x dc #???#this probably has been done #i just wanted to write it down can't go looking for it in the tags #aaaa i got a sudden flash in my mind this is definitely out there i just need to find it #who is this random astronaut? someone asks #why did he get summoned?#and danny is like 'you think i look like a real astronaut? :D'

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spacedace · 1 month

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Still thinking about the Social Worker Jazz concept that @gilbirda posted about and it's slowly turning into a full Anger Management fic send help

Jason at length - much longer than it really should have taken really - set the resume down.

The new Social Worker’s resume. Because she was there, in his office, trying to convince him to hire her as a member of his criminal organization.

Crime Alley’s new social worker. A bright eyed Midwestern transplant from some tiny speck of a place that only qualified as a city because there was nothing bigger in a hundred miles in any direction to claim otherwise. The new social worker who had a Psy D. and three masters degrees and who had graduated Valedictorian. The one that had high paying private gigs lined up all over the country with the offering companies fighting over her.

The one who had, apparently, decided to take a shit job in Gotham’s shoddy social services department instead. The one that got kicked to Crime Alley - which was its own division despite technically being a small neighborhood in the grand scheme of things - within her first month. Supposedly for the sole purpose of scaring her off or getting her killed for all the questions she was asking and secret dealings she was sticking her nose into.

That social worker.

“I’m gonna need you to run this by me again.” Jason said, never so grateful for the voice modulator in his helmet as he was in that moment. It stripped out the bewilderment that had bled through into his words and made him sound stoic instead.

“I’d like to work for you.” The social worker - one Dr. Jasmine Nightingale - repeated primly. Back straight, clothes neat - if skewing more on the librarian side of professional - expression confident and hopeful. Completely and utterly oblivious of how fucking insane she sounded. “I was told that you’re the person in charge of Crime Alley.”

He resisted the urge to scrub at his face. It’d just look weird with his helmet on and not do anything to actually settle him in that moment anyway. “I understood that part.”

“Look, Doc,” She earned a doctorate and she was crazy enough to waltz into the office of one of Gotham’s most powerful Crime Lords, he’d be respectful about using her proper title at least, even if he suspected she was ten pounds of crazy in a five pound bag. “You’re going to have to tell me why. I was under the impression the only reason you ended up dumped on our end of the city ws because you wouldn’t play ball. But now you want to sign up for my crew?”

Nightingale frowned a little at that.

“Is that what people are saying?”

“What else are they gonna say?” Jason answered, leaning back in his seat, “Head of the department only dumps Crime Alley on folks he don’t like. And everyone knows he doesn’t like anyone that can’t or won’t play his game by his rules.”

“Alright, well. I’ll give you that.” Nightingale conceded, “Payne doesn’t like me. The feeling’s mutual. But for the record,” She added giving him a wry smile, as if sharing wry smiles with Red Hood was just something people did, “I asked to be assigned to the Park Row and Bowery neighborhoods.”

“You wanted to work here.”

“Yes.”

“Bullshit.”

Nightingale laughed. It was a bright sound. Not especially clear or pretty, but warm and welcoming in a way that carefully calculated giggles or overdone guffaws couldn’t be. Something with real and honest amusement in it, that encouraged those nearby to laugh along. Not the kind of involuntary, nervous chuckling people tended to slip into when they thought they had pissed someone that scared them off.

She just wasn’t intimidated by him at all, was she?

Behind his helmet, Jason found himself smiling. Just a bit.

“I’m serious.” She assured, blue-green eyes meeting the dark stare of his helmet without a moment of hesitation. He watched as she brushed a lock of her bright red hair behind her ear and out of the way. She’d woven it all into a practical, neat braid but a few sly pieces had snuck out to bounce around her. Gilding her quiet professionalism with a playful charm that worked well with her academia but make it cottagecore kindergarten teacher aesthetic.

“I’ll admit, Gotham wasn’t part of my plan when I first graduated. Time and choices take you funny places sometimes.” She plucked an invisible bit of lint off her soft blue cardigan, not nervous but absent as her gaze went distant for a moment. Thinking back on the events that had led her to his fine city. In a blink, those sharp eyes were back to focusing entirely on him. “But Gotham is where I am now, and I want to help.”

She looked at him, a serious, determined expression settling easily on her face. “The city as a whole has so much chaos and crime breaking out all the time.” No censure or horror in her voice, just a neutral fact to be observed. “But where the rest of the city has millions of dollars poured into it by various foundations or charities run by the Waynes, Park Row is largely ignored.”

Jason watched as steeliness sharpened her gaze, the blue-green shifting from the shine of a bird’s wing to the warning hue of something poisonous and deadly. “No one deserves that. No one.” Her chin tilted up, proud but not imperious. “So yes, I want to work here. There are people in Park Row and the Bowery who need help and I refuse to let any of them feel like they are going to be ignored.”

Jason considered her.

Really looked at her. Pealing back his initial off handed impression of her as some clueless transplant in over her head with no idea of what she was doing or what she was poking her nose into to find the real woman beneath. Her confident poise, her clear unshakable belief, her unflinching willingness to look danger in the eye and not blink. The tense curve of her frown, the lines of pain at the corners of her eyes, the simmering anger beneath it all. There was an edge to her, too. Something sharp and dangerously well hidden by the cardigan and folksy charm of her accent.

It was personal for the woman before him, Jason realized. Maybe not Crime Alley specifically, but something about the whole situation. The treatment the neighborhood and its residents received from the city at large, from those even beyond it.

Crime Alley wasn’t a place that received much in the way of charitable thought. The average joe with their house in Somerset and job at some corporate shithole hating every second of their life but thinking at least I don’t live in Crime Alley. Those asshole hoity-toites in city hall throwing money around equally between shit that’d get them re-elected and their off-shore slush funds in the Caymens doing their damn level best to pretend the black mark on the other end of the city just didn’t exist. Bruce, flooding the entire city with charitable programs and carefully constructed infrastructures shying away from the manifested grief and trauma that was the place he watched his parents get murdered.

For the most part no one from outside of the Alley gave a shit about the Alley other than as a place to avoid at all costs. And most of the time those natives that manages to claw their way out into better and brighter lives didn’t ever turn to glance back. Orpheus could have learned a thing or to from an ex-Alley Kid who managed to eek out a steady 9-to-5 and move to Burnley.

And something about that seemed to piss Dr. Jasmine Nightingale Psy. D right the fuck off.

He could see why Bill said he liked her enough to let her in.

“Alright.” He said, tilting his head, watching the woman seated across from him carefully, “Still doesn’t explain what you’re doing here. Why you’re trying to get on my payroll.”

“I’m not trying to get on your payroll.” She said, some of the glinting edge softening, but the steel remaining. Strong and unyielding. “I’m trying to get into your community outreach program.”

Jason thanked god and all the saints once again for the gift of his helmet. That baby had saved his ass more times than he could count both by keeping his head in one piece and keeping his stupefied expressions wrapped up and hidden from view. Dr. Nightingale was one hell of a woman to make him have to rely on that fact twice in one conversation.

“Wasn’t aware that was something I had.”

Nightingale, not fortunate enough to have a full face covering helmet of her own, had nothing to hide her stupefied expression behind. Jason had a feeling she might have removed it to make sure he saw even if she did though. She looked like she had caught him eating glue like it was a cheese stick.

“Yes you do.” She said, sounding deeply confused but unshakable confident in what she was saying. “I’ve seen it. The soup kitchens, the shelters, the collection boxes for donating old clothes, the after school day care.” Nightingale ticked off on her fingers, “I’ve lived here for less than two weeks and I’ve lost count of all the things I’ve seen setup to help people struggling in the area that I’ve been very reliably informed you and your organization are behind.”

Oh.

Those.

“Those aren’t part of some community outreach program.” He said, “We are simply locals offering services for our neighbors.”

He watched as her caught-him-eating-glue expression shifted into one that said she’d stumbled upon him licking electrical sockets for a mid-day pick-me-up instead. He had to give it to her, the woman was not afraid to let one of the most dangerous men in the city know she thought he was a fucking idiot.

“Let me see if I understand this right.” She said, and he appreciated that there wasn’t any kind of condescension in her voice, even though she very clearly thought he’d been dropped on his head as a baby. Possibly from the top of a three story building. “You have a large group of people working together to plan, organize and execute multiple services in your area - your community, if you will - that provide aid and support to those that otherwise would not receive it. Reaching out with your available time and resources to offer these services, that you provide. For free.”

Alright, Jason got it. He had stumbled ass backwards into creating a community outreach program. But he wasn’t just going to let her think she won this one. He was Red Hood, he had a reputation to uphold here.

“What makes you think any of that is free?” He tilted his head at just the right angle, the one that cast shadows across the planes of his helmet and made him look hell-touched and terrifying. “Just because we don’t charge money, doesn’t mean there isn’t a price to pay.”

Dr. Nightingale, dressed like a damn kindergarten teacher, laughed at him.

#dpxdc #jazz fen #jason todd #social worker jazz #social worker jazz fenton #anger management ship #anger management #pre anger management #jason todd x jazz fenton #i don't know why i keep writing scenes where Jazz writes resumes to apply to work for crime bosses but it just feels right in my soul okay #the real reason Jason wears a full face helmet is so people can't tell when he utterly fails to hide his emotions about something #the idea of social worker jazz working in crime alley has completely consumed me mind body and soul

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konigsblog · 6 months

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ghost's hand absolutely drive me.... mfhsfxkfqhahvz..

your lieutenant stuffing two of his thick fingers into your mouth whilst driving his thick, girthy cock into your sopping pussy. he adores that dumb expression; all breathless, unable to keep up. he fucks up you senseless. your legs numb, but the throbbing heat between your legs on repeat around his hard, wet dick.

“look at you, doll...” he chuckles, rubbing your chin with his thumb. your eyes rolled back as he continues sliding into your sweet cunny.

or instead, ghost's large hands grasping your waist, squeezing the supple, soft flesh on your stomach while slamming into you. your back arched and cunt clutching and squeezing around his wet shaft. you're panting, gripping his wrists tightly for support while he drives his broad hips into you.

or, ghost's big hands dwarfing yours when he's ramming into you. your legs over his broad, wide shoulders, his muscles tensing and his veiny cock stuffed into your wet, dripping cunt! crying out through pleasure while grinding his hips against you, the impact of his tip against your womb driving you insane. he pins your hands above your head, gripping them tightly while you babble and squeeze his hand.

just a mess for his cock :3

#orla speaks #simon ghost riley #ghost call of duty #mw2 ghost #cod ghost #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost simon riley #why can't he be real #:( :(#cod imagine

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inkskinned · 1 year

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the rise of AI art isn't surprising to us. for our entire lives, the attitude towards our skills has always been - that's not a real thing. it has been consistently, repeatedly devalued.

people treat art - all forms of it - as if it could exist by accident, by rote. they don't understand how much art is in the world. someone designed your home. someone designed the sign inside of your local grocery store. when you quote a character or line from something in media, that's a line a real person wrote.

"i could do that." sure, but you didn't. there's this joke where a plumber comes over to a house and twists a single knob. charges the guy 10k. the guy, furious, asks how the hell the bill is so high. the plumber says - "turning the knob was a dollar. the knowledge is the rest of the money."

the trouble is that nobody believes artists have knowledge. that we actively study. that we work hard, beyond doing our scales and occasionally writing a poem. the trouble is that unless you are already framed in a museum or have a book on a shelf or some kind of product, you aren't really an artist. hell, because of where i post my work, i'll never be considered a poet.

the thing that makes you an artist is choice. the thing that makes all art is choice. AI art is the fetid belief that art is instead an equation. that it must answer a specific question. Even with machine learning, AI cannot make a choice the way we can - because the choices we make have always been personal, complicated. our skills cannot be confined to "prompt and execution." what we are "solving" isn't just a system of numbers - it is how we process our entire existence. it isn't just "2 and 2 is 4", it's staring hard at the numbers and making the four into an alligator. it's rearranging the letters to say ow and it is the ugly drawing we make in the margin.

at some point, you will be able to write something by feeding my work into a machine. it will be perfectly legible and even might sound like me. but a machine doesn't understand why i do these things. it can be taught preferences, habits, statistical probability. it doesn't know why certain vowels sound good to me. it doesn't know the private rules i keep. it doesn't know how to keep evolving.

"but i want something to exist that doesn't exist yet." great. i'm glad you feel creative. go ahead and pay a fucking artist for it.

this is all saying something we all already knew. the sad fucking truth: we have to die to remind you. only when we're gone do we suddenly finally fucking mean something to you. artists are not replicable. we each genuinely have a skill, talent, and process that makes us unique. and there's actual quiet power in everything we do.

#also pay plumbers more. and electricians. and other devalued occupations #idk that this makes sense #but im like #people being so fucking pleased with themselves about the fact they can ''fake'' art #n im like #sure #but what if we stop making things for you huh #what if we stop giving u this stuff anymore #what happens to ur ai art? does it keep growing? does it keep making choices?#why do u need to see us as machines?#''i want X to exist but i don't have the skill to do it''#okay spend literally years of your life studying #''i don't want to do that''#okay pay someone who DID do that #''no i don't think it's a real skill''#okay so. YOU can't do it. and a LOT of people can't do it. but you think WE should be able to?#FOR FREE?#either it has value or it dont baby make up ur OWN mind #btw studying here is not used academically. i think if ur like. constantly knitting.#thats studying #do u spend hours reading and find urself taking notes and learning about writing #ur studying #do you follow other artists and spend a lot of your time trying new things (even unsuccessfully)#that's also studying #etc #was weird to write this thing about choices and then be like. wait why DO i like that

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frenchfry99 · 8 months

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"new friend?"

Another day in neighborhood, another troublemaker in Howdy's bugdega

Explaining that he has a whole stack, stash and a box of things to do, "uncle Howdy" tells Lilly to go find someone else to play with, giving a couple of beloved by her tangerines, to sweeten the situation at least a bit.

Throwing out the peels Lilly finds something bizarre- more like someone??

They went to visit frogs later :]

That frog ribbited something too personal 😔😔

Tiger cubs tend to bite others while playing, so does Lilly! (Nobody can escape the lil ankle biter!! Muhaha!!)

Her clown nose honks if you press on it! :]

so silly!!!! Gahhhh!!!! He better watch out for the claws though-

Being silly whole day is a hard job to do so they're taking a nap😔😔

Goofy doodle of "the mandatory older sibling report in the end of the day" lmao (Sunny would think Robbie is just one of the countless itty bitty bugs Lilly befriends)

Robbie belongs to @clownsuu ! >:^]

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hoofpeet · 1 year

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Okay after some consideration I think togekiss is a good pokemon to parasitize !! Reasons being

-they're fairly rare, which leads me to believe they have small broods that wouldn't provide much competition

-Togekiss are also very friendly and probably wouldn't reject a parasitic murkrow even if they did notice

-Obvious fairy type tie-in

The only initial drawback I saw was that the togetic line has 3 evolutionary stages while murkrows only have 2; but upon further consideration that might actually trick parent togekiss into thinking the murkrow is just a runt that needs to be fed more to grow stronger? So uhm . brood parasite murkrow/honchrow variant because I think brood parasitism is cool !!

#hoof draws #pokemon #also dark/fairy honchcrow looks cool #i get why from a gameplay standpoint but the idea of mimicry is very very unexplored in pokemon !!#like. they can't just make new pokemon that look more or less exactly like other pokemon .#but irl (if they were real) there would definitely be a lot of species adapted to mimic other species #anyway brood parasite pokemon !!

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alackofghosts · 3 months

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Your real life human father??? AS OPPOSED TO WHAT????