#while i write steddie angst and make people cry
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i don’t want a ‘career’ ! i want to write sexy fanfiction for my internet friends <3
#and somehow get paid for it#my college degree is sitting there collecting dust#while i write steddie angst and make people cry#marissa’s unfiltered thoughts#steddie#steddie writers#fanfiction#steddie fanfiction#ao3 writers#ao3#steddie fic recs#fanfic writer#steddie fanfic#writing#fanfiction is for self care#ao3 funny#ao3 things#ao3 is superior
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part 2 | this is part two to this from Steve's perspective leading up to and including part one | cw unresolved angst
[unfinished/for now not being worked on]
31 days until moving day.
Steve burst through the door to Family Video, swinging it open with way too much force.
Robin jumps and opens her mouth, probably to tell him off for scaring her but he speaks before she gets the chance.
“Eddie asked me to move to Chicago with him,” he blurts out, “Robin, he asked me to go with him.”
Her eyes widen, “what did you say?”
“That I’d go, of course,” he huffs. Like it’s even a question? like not going was ever an option?
Robin jumps over the counter squealing and hugs him so tight breathing becomes a little bit hard.
“I’m moving away with Eddie,” he whispers into her hair, awed as he hugs her back. She somehow squeezes him even tighter and they stay like that for a minute until they have to actually do their jobs.
An hour passes and Robin keeps shooting him contemplative looks.
“What?” He finally snaps after getting tired of waiting for her to say what she wants to say herself.
She jumps again like she didn’t realize how obvious she was being, which honestly, she probably didn’t.
“Nothing, nothing.”
“Robin,” he whines.
“Okay, just,” she scrunches her face up a bit and Steve knows that face, she’s trying to figure out how to say something to him she thinks he’ll react badly to.
He narrows his eyes at her, bracing himself, “yes?”
“I think you and Eddie are great together, and like I love you both and I am excited for you guys. You know that right?”
Steve nods, doesn’t say anything though, wants her to get to the point.
“I’m just also, maybe, a little bit worried.”
Steve’s eyebrows draw together, “what do you mean?”
Robin is looking around nervously. Something heavy starts to form in Steve’s stomach.
“You haven’t been together for very long and this is a big step. I just don’t wanna see either of you get hurt you know? I guess I’m just wondering if you’ve talked it all through? Because both of you have a tendency to jump into things without thought.”
They haven’t talked it through, not really. Eddie asked Steve to move, he said yes and that was pretty much it. It didn’t feel like they needed to talk it through though? Did they? Usually, they just dealt with things as they became relevant, that had worked for them so far.
Robin must see something on his face because she quickly talks again, backtracking and interrupting his thoughts.
“Not that I don’t think it will be great, you know I just worry about things a lot. This is my anxiety talking. You know what, ignore everything I just said. You two know what you’re doing.”
He doesn’t want her to know she’s already put doubts in his head so even though he’s starting to freak out a little he smiles and shakes his head.
“It’s fine Rob, I’m sure we will talk more with time.”
22 days until moving day.
Steve meant it when he said he and Eddie would talk. Meant to ask about the logistics, meant to make sure they were on the same page, he really did. But every time the move comes up Eddie just seems so sure about it already. Steve doesn’t want to make him think he’s having second thoughts. Thinks maybe it’s better to not say anything, to wait and let it come up naturally.
He thinks maybe they’ll talk about it tonight. The kids had joked about them all evening, about how fast they were moving.
Mike had made some snarky comment about them moving to a city where they knew no one and how awkward it would be if they crashed and burned and they’d have to share a bedroom.
Eddie had laughed, said it was good they weren’t gonna crash and burn then. But, he’d also added that his band was also going so actually he would know people.
It was just jokes, Steve knew that. That didn’t make it any less true though. Steve wouldn’t have anyone except Eddie, sure he liked the guys in his band but they weren’t his friends. Steve would have Eddie and Eddie would have his band. It suddenly seemed like a big deal.
He expects Eddie to also feel it, to get worried and bring it up but he doesn’t. If he is worried he isn’t saying anything, just like Steve isn’t.
8 days until moving day.
There’s a knock on Steve's door and when he opens Gareth is standing there. Steve is a lot confused about it but lets him in.
“Uh,” he starts a little unsure, “do you want anything to drink or?” He offers, mostly because he doesn’t know what else to say or do.
Gareth shakes his head, looking about as uncomfortable as Steve feels. Shuffling around where he’s standing and fiddling with the sleeve of his shirt. “No, I’m gonna leave again soon. I just came here to say something.”
Steve gestures for him to speak, “I’m listening.”
Gareth doesn’t immediately say anything, he shuffles some more and looks around the room before his eyes land on Steve again, a determined look in them.
“Look, I like you. I know Eddie loves you.”
Steve can’t help but smile a little at that, even though he’s starting to suspect he’s in for a shovel talk.
“And like, I probably wouldn’t do this if it weren’t for the fact that you haven’t dated for very long at all and are about to move in together in a city four hours away.”Gareth pauses and waits to speak again until Steve nods, showing he’s listening.
“Eddie does things without thinking. He doesn’t think about the consequences, not anything, just does. I love that about him, it’s the reason our band has gotten anywhere at all, but it also means that he gets hurt a lot, disappointed a lot. He can handle it with most things, he won’t be able to handle it with you.”
“What are you saying?” Steve asks even though he’s pretty sure he already knows.
Gareth looks pained but continues, “I’m saying that if you aren’t one hundred percent sure about moving with him, if you have any doubts at all, you can’t go.”
Steve can’t suppress his flinch. He expected Gareth to say he needed to be sure, that if he wasn’t he needed to tell Eddie. He wasn’t expecting him to say he shouldn’t, no, couldn’t go.
Gareth catches it and narrows his eyes, “I mean it Steve, it will break him more if you go, let him think it’s gonna work and then leave, then if you don’t go at all.” He steps closer to Steve, getting into his space. “So, if you’re not absolutely sure,” he pauses, steps even closer, “Do. Not. Go.” He punctuates every word and then he turns on his heel and leaves.
6 days until moving day.
Steve needs to talk with Eddie about it now, can’t ignore it anymore. He isn’t gonna just not go like Gareth told him to do. No, he’ll talk to Eddie and it will be fine.
They’re in his bed together, laying next to each other. Skin touching skin and a comfortable silence between them. Now is as good a time as any.
“Hey, Eddie?”
“Mhh?” He hums, shifting slightly next to him.
“What happens if something goes wrong when we move?”
Eddie snorts, “what? Like if we get a flat wheel? I know how to change a wheel, sweetheart.”
Steve smiles despite his nerves, tries to not imagine what Eddie would look like changing a wheel.
“Good to know, but no, not quite what I meant.”
Next to him, Eddie props himself up on his elbow so he can properly look at Steve.
“What did you mean?” He reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind Steve’s ear as he speaks. Steve has to focus harder than he’d like to admit to not get lost in it. Even the smallest touches have an effect on him when it’s Eddie.
“What if something happens with us?” His voice is small and he can’t look at Eddie, afraid of what his reaction might be. “Remember that thing Mike said about us not really knowing anyone there? Just, what would happen?”
“Baby,” Eddie gently grabs Steve’s chin with his thumb and forefinger, tilting his face towards him. Steve easily follows but closes his eyes.
“Baby, please look at me,” Eddie’s voice is even softer than before, and Steve has always been weak when it comes to Eddie asking him to do things so he slowly blinks his eyes open.
“There you are,” he smiles, face open and tendrils of hair falling around it. He looks angelic and Steve almost forgets what they are talking about, too overwhelmed by the man next to him.
Eddie keeps them on track though.
“Like I told Mike, nothing will happen. We will be fine. But,” he continued before Steve can protest, “if something does, we both have jobs already, we’ve done this right. We will be able to save eventually. Quicker because we’re two people, paying rent and all that stuff on two salaries. If something happens we will have that security.”
Steve relaxes then and Eddie must see it because he grins and continues, “now if you didn’t have a job then I’d be worried. I’m not cut out for all the responsibility of being the breadwinner, princess.”
Steve groans and shoves Eddie away. Mostly to hide the blush he can feel creeping up his face just from Eddie calling him princess. Judging by the way Eddie cackles he doesn’t have to see Steve blush to know the effect it has on him.
He reaches out and pulls Steve in against his chest. “Worst case scenario we have to move back. Wayne will probably pretend to be unhappy about it but he’ll let me take over his trailer again. And, I know you have complicated feelings about this house, that your parents are the worst, but you’ll be able to come back if you need to.”
“Okay,” Steve says, his worries mostly calmed.
1 day until moving day.
Steve and Eddie are spending the night apart. Eddie wanting to spend his last night with Wayne and both of them needing to do some last minute packing.
Just as he finishes closing one of the last boxes the phone rings, he’s a bit confused about who would call him right now. His friends all having seen him earlier in the day to say goodbye. Maybe Eddie needs to double-check what time they decided to leave.
He picks up but it’s not Eddie, or even one of the kids, who speaks.
“Steven,” his mother's shrill voice crackles on the other end of the line.
“Hi mom,” he tries to hide his sigh as he speaks, doesn’t have the energy to get into anything with her right now, doesn’t want her to ruin his excitement.
“I thought you were moving to Chicago alone?”
His freezes, when he told his parents he was gonna move he didn’t say he was going alone but he also didn’t mention Eddie. He knew they wouldn’t like it, knew it would be easier to let them assume he was going by himself.
“But I just got off a call with Mrs. Hagan and she told me that Tommy had said you were moving there with- with that cult boy? The one who’s wanted for murder?”
Steve closes his eyes and this time he doesn’t bother hiding his sigh. Fucking Tommy, he’s always had a big mouth but Steve suspects that this hadn’t been him blabbering without thinking. No, Steve thinks Tommy knew exactly what he was doing telling his mom this piece of information.
“His name is Eddie, and he was cleared of all charges. The ‘cult’ was literally just a school club.”
“So it’s true? You’re moving with him?” Her voice is sharp and even just hearing it over the phone makes him flinch.
“Yeah, we’re friends and it’s cheaper that way. We got a better apartment because we’re two people with a job each.” It’s such a simplification of the truth it’s almost a lie but Steve doesn’t think this is the time to come out to her. He hopes the ‘better apartment’ comment will calm her, it’s the sort of thing she cares about after all. Not for his safety and comfort though but for how it will reflect on her.
He’s not sure she actually hears him though because she hisses a vicious, “If you move with him you will not be welcome back Steven, this will be the last time we speak.” Before she hangs up on him.
Steve carefully places the phone back in its cradle, then he’s left standing alone in the living room, both too shocked to move and not really shocked at all.
He’s not close to his parents. Has slowly been understanding just how much they’ve neglected him. He’s been relieved about moving away, about being in another city where he won’t have to see them when they waltz back into town. But to never speak to them again? That’s a whole different thing. He still hoped that they’d be able to fix their relationship. That him not being dependent on them anymore would allow him to stand up for himself. That everything would get better. Now instead, the thing he thought would allow their relationship to get better is gonna destroy it forever.
He debates calling Eddie, wants to tell him what his mom just said, wants to hear his voice, wants to let him make it better. He decides against it, he doesn’t wanna ruin Eddie’s last night with Wayne and he’ll see him tomorrow anyway. He can tell him in the car.
He doesn’t call Robin either, she’ll insist on coming over and he knows she’s on a date with Nancy right now. He doesn’t wanna ruin that either, even though both of them will tell him he’s not, he knows he will be. He goes to bed instead, sleep seems like the best option right now, at least he won’t have to think if he’s asleep.
Moving day.
He ended up not really sleeping at all. Tossing and turning for hours and after finally falling asleep sometime in the early morning he wakes up just hours later from a nightmare. He doesn’t remember what it was about but can feel the lingering panic. He gives up on getting any more sleep, doesn’t wanna risk more nightmares when he’s alone.
He picks at his breakfast, still thrown off from the conversation with his mom the night before and not feeling like eating, so he gives up on that too. He spends the rest of the morning wandering around, touching the walls and the furniture in the house he grew up in. The house he’s been left alone in since he was nine. The house he both hates and loves. The house he will never be allowed to return to after today.
Then the phone rings again, it’s probably his mom calling to ask if he’s decided to stay he thinks. It’s not, it turns out.
“Hi I’m Patricia, I’m looking for Steve Harrington?” A chipper voice says.
“This is him.”
“Okay well, good. I’m calling about a barista job you’re supposed to start with us next week.”
“Yeah?” Steve chews on his cheek.
“I’m so sorry but due to our rent being raised we’re having to do cutbacks. Since you haven’t signed your contract with us yet, it’s the first one to go.”
“You’re firing me?” Steve asks, it’s not entirely right since he hasn’t started yet but it’s all he can think to say.
“Essentially,” Patricia responds, “I’m sorry for the short notice.”
“Okay,” he says, his voice void of emotion, “thank you for calling.”
He hangs up without waiting for a response, he doesn’t have the energy to be polite.
He barely has time to let the information sink in before his doorbell rings. Eddie on the other side of the door with a wide grin on his face.
“Did you oversleep?” He jokes.
Steve’s confused for a second but then he realizes he’s still in his pajamas, that he’s spent the whole morning wandering around like a ghost in his house not getting any of the things he needed to do done.
He hasn’t packed the bag of all his essentials. He hasn’t gotten dressed. He hasn’t even brushed his teeth. What he has done is get fired from a job he never even started.
He sees Eddie’s teasing smile, the combination of it and his sudden joblessness tugs at something in his brain, brings back the conversation they had last week.
“Now, if you didn’t have a job then I’d be worried. I’m not cut out for all the responsibility of being the breadwinner princess.”
He doesn’t have a job. He’ll have to live off Eddie and what little savings he has left. Become a responsibility Eddie doesn’t want, a burden probably.
“Worst case scenario we move back”, “you’ll be able to come back if you need to.”
If he leaves now he won’t be able to come back.
Gareths words play back in his mind too.
“if you have any doubts at all, you can’t go.”, “it will break him more if you go, let him think it’s gonna work and then leave, then if you don’t go at all.”
“I’m not going,” Steve hears himself say as he steps back from the hand Eddie reaches out to him.
“You’re not-“ Eddie looks so confused. “Like today? Do you need extra time? We can postpone by a couple of days but-“
He’s not getting it. Steve interrupts him, needs to make him understand because he can’t listen to him try to come up with solutions.
“No, Eddie. I’m not going it all.”
The words feel wrong in his mouth but he forces them out anyways.
“What do you mean?” Eddie asks and it fucking ruins him. He feels his carefully blank expression break, despair showing through.
“I can’t leave Hawkins, the kids,” he has to look away from Eddie as he says this. Knows it’s the only thing Eddie won’t question, knows Eddie thinks he doesn’t mean as much to Steve as the kids do. “They need me.”
“When did you decide you weren’t going?” Eddie asks and Steve didn’t know it was possible but he breaks even more from that, from Eddie not fighting him.
I didn’t, he thinks, I don’t know why I’m saying this now. If you ask me to stop and just go with you I will.
“A couple of days ago,” he lies.
It’s silent then, just their breathing and the distant sound of cars down the street being heard. Eventually, Eddie breaks it.
“Steve?”
His voice cracks in the middle. Steve can hear the plea for him to take it all back and he nearly does, has to swallow the words creeping up his throat before they get out.
“I’m sorry,” he says instead. He turns around, closing the door behind him. Destroying their future and breaking the last bit of his heart in the process.
He doesn’t get more than two steps into the house before his legs give out beneath him. He stays there, sitting on the floor for what feels like forever.
After some time he hears a car drive away and he knows Eddie has left. He feels silent tears start streaming down his face that soon turns into sobs. Making him curl in on himself and gasp for air.
He doesn’t know how long he stays there, crying until he can’t anymore and then just sitting there. But after a while, he’s interrupted by a loud ringing. For the third time in less than twenty-four hours he picks up the god-forsaken phone.
“Hello?” He rasps, his voice dull and raw from crying.
“Steven. You made the right decision and stayed I take it?” His mother asks.
“Yes.” He says and hangs up on her.
#happy ending never got written but they end up happy and maybe on day i'll return to this and write it#once again i apologize for any typos mistakes in general etc I've read through it I swear#part one is like 800 words and this is over 3k idk what happened okay#actually i do i had to fit in more scenes#so uh yeah#there will still be a happy ending i promise but now you get where steve is coming from which is mainly a panic attack tbh#steve baby do not make big decisions while mid anxiety shut down#also talk to people <3#eddie you know better than to reassure someone because you both have jobs? what are you doing???#it's 5am i swear if this does not show up in the tags ill cry#steddie#steddie ficlet#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#my writing#my post#steddie angst#dels steddie thoughts
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I have a new Steddie idea that is very much angst filled and it hit me freaking hard out of nowhere in the shower. Okay I say pit of nowhere but I was listening to my music and Master of Puppets came on (right after She's Always in My Head by Prince - I love variety XD) and the idea hit me.
Working title is Twisting Your Mind (part of a lyric from Master of Puppets)
Anyways so Canon happens more or less and Steve is feeling like he's just drifting from day to day barely hanging on to himself. He knows he's going to break, to burst, and it's going to be ugly but he's trying to hold it together for everyone. But he feels one bad day from just breaking and crying and never stopping and maybe all the paranoia, the bone-deep sadness and self-hatred, the anger and the tiredness would go away. But no, he powers through it and he does what he does best and he holds it all in and all together.
Steve has been blaming himself about Eddie, he fully believes his words provoked the guy to sacrifice himself, he blames himself for Max's condition, for Lucas's face and Erica's nightmares and the bruises she obtained. He's exhausted, he hasn't been sleeping much because of the nightmares that had the fiercest grip on him and because at the slightest sound he would wake up and have to check all the doors, the windows, the lights.
He was running on Jolt Cola and a prayer!
Then what he feared happened, he had his bad day.
It had started out fine. He had two nightmares but it was fine. He picked up Robin and Dustin to take to school, but when he got Robin he saw hoe tired she was and how stressed she looked and so he suggested a movie night to take a night off studying and worrying about her Senior year. But it was like Trisha's Party 2.0, she gave him a cruel laugh and said, "I know you graduated skating by but I actually want to be proud of my grades Steve! I don't have time for your distractions!"
And at least she didn't call him Bullshit but it hurt all the same so he just apologized and he picked up Dustin, they hadn't spoken the entire ride there. Dustin got in and immediately Steve knew he was in a bad mood and he didn't know why. So he just let boy tell him about what he and Susie were working on, but Steve made another mistake as soon as they got to the school. He asked a question about the project and Dustin had just sighed this put-upon sigh and said, "C'mon Steve, I know you're an Idiot but I thought you could at least listen."
Then he left Steve just sitting in his car. As did Robin but she slammed his door and he couldn't even muster up the strength to scold her for it. All he could do was pull himself together and head to work. Work was awful, people belittled him, yelled at him and he was just so done with the day but he always visited Max. So no matter how much he wanted to go home and just sleep, he went to the hospital. Lucas was of course there, and it was pretty obvious the boy hadn't even gone to school. They sat there not saying anything for a while but then Lucas just started rambling about everything and Steve listened, Steve was there.
But then Steve made the mistake of giving advice, he just wanted Lucas to go home, eat, shower, get some sleep. He knew how hypocritical that sounded but he was worried and he stated so. It made Lucas angry, to the point of tears. Next thing Steve knew he was being yelled at, the words were buzzing in his ears. One word stuck out and it was the one he hated most: bullshit.
After that he didn't know what happened. He remembered leaving getting to his car but after that he wasn't sure, all he did know was that he had made it back to his house and he flew into a rage. He broke things. He's pretty sure he punched a hole in a wall. His room took the most damage, he vaguely remembered writing on the walls but it was the after he hardly remembered. There was a noise and he had his bat but something tackled him and he was out.
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I always end up making these ideas drabbles in some way XD anywho, Eddie has been resurrected by Vecna and he is the Upside-down version of a Vamp. As much as Vecna wanted to go in guns blazing and just send Eddie to cause as much destruction and distress and he could he knew he had to be smart about everything this time around. He thought he had been smart last time. But the same group of people once again were a thorn in his side even if they hadn't know he was behind every previous incident.
So he had Eddie spy on every single one of them to see who would be the best to strike first and that's when he felt something interesting when Eddie was near the Harrington boy. It was the same feeling he got with Eddie. This boy had been affected by his demobats, he didn't know why it was dormant but it was there and if they awakened it, he would have another creature like Eddie under his control. He had planned to kill the boy, truly he should have targeted him last time, the boy was basically a martyr and most likely wouldn't have told anyone what was going on until it was too late. He would have had his four gates easily.
The boy held so much anguish and anger and guilt inside himself, it was beautiful. But he cared so much, too much and One knew he could use that. He let Eddie keep his negative emotions, he twisted his feelings for that silly group of his but when he saw Harrington he knew he could use Eddie's attraction to the boy so he let him have those feelings once more. So Eddie is instructed to kidnap him and it's easy given the delicious day Harrington had.
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Basically Steve is kidnapped and taken to the Upside-down and to Eddie's lair where he was instructed to keep him and persuade him to join them. Steve is happy Eddie is alive but heartbroken that he left him there to be taken over by Vecna but Eddie keeps telling him he doesn't blame him and Eddie truly doesn't.
He knew Steve didn't want to leave him, he had heard it and he and One had been watching Steve's dreams and memories and it was very apparent that the last thing the boy wanted to do was leave him behind.
So even though Eddie is sweet to him, calling him nicknames, he's also telling Steve how awful the others treat him and how him and One would never treat him like that. Eddie would treasure him, One would appreciate him if he only joined them. Of course Steve denys, but Eddie doesn't get mad, he knows Steve expected him to but he knows he'll wear him down.
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The Party notices Steve's absence after school when he doesn't pick them up and Robin had calmed down enough to the point she realized what she had said that morning and wanted to apologize but when Steve hadn't shown up she felt worse than worse. Nancy and Jonathan have to pick them up and they decide to go to Steve's to apologize, the others tag along because they're worried. Will and El are on edge because something doesn't feel right.
Lucas is already there knocking on the door begging to be let in, Hopper pulls up because a neighbor called about Lucas which pissed Hopper off but he goes to see what's wrong. They all go into the house and their worry does not go away. They see the state of the house and just are in awe. Robin wants to cry, Dustin and Lucas aren't any better but then a little old lady came to the door and though Robin had never met her she knew who she was immediately because of Steve's description of her.
"Officer Hopper! Well if it hasn't been a lifetime since I've seen you here. What is the matter is Stevie okay?" It was Mrs. O'Connor, Steve had told Robin she was the only nice neighbor he had and she often brought him casseroles.
Hopper was always quick on his feet, "Oh everything is fine Mrs. O'Connor. Just seemed like Steve headed out of town with a friend and forgot to tell the kids."
"Oh that boy, he's always been one to do things on his own hasn't he? You said he was going out of town? You don't know if it he's going to go see that therapist I recommended him, do you?"
"Therapist?" Hopper asked what they were all thinking.
"Oh yes. Poor dear's nightmares have just been truly horrendous, Frank and I nearly called you over with how bad some of them sounded. I don't think that Boy's slept a wink. But oh, listen to me gossiping like a girl in school. Just let him know I made him this casserole will you Sweetie?" And with that she was gone to leave all of them with the knowledge that Steve was suffering and told none of them. None of them noticed or asked and they felt worse if it was possible.
Hopper was just happy Steve seemed to have someone on his side, they look around the house (ignore the fridge full of casseroles) and take in the damage that seems pretty self-inflicted not like Steve was fighting anything but the more they take in the more their stomachs drop. Then they see his abandoned nail bat and no one had a good feeling and with the way Will and El looked at each other it wasn't going to be good.
El quickly finds out that Steve is in the Upside-down but she doesn't know where and everyone is preparing to find the gate he was pulled through and enter to find him. But every time they try some monster comes out and they have to deal with it.
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Eddie loves having Steve in his lair. He loves taking care of him (he robbed the grocery store in the Right Side Up for what he knew Steve liked and whatever he thought he would need.) The more he tries to talk Steve into joining him he the more he starts to wonder why he should do it all, it's like the anger is slowly leaving him.
"Sweetheart, why fight for them when they never fight for you? They think you're an idiot but I know you're not. You're smart baby, so smart they just can't see that. They don't appreciate all you do for them. Why give them your energy?" Eddie will coo things like that and Steve didn't want to admit it but it was wearing down on him more than the Russian Torture did. The way Eddie would compliment him, hold him, press kisses to his knuckles and point out every time the Party hurt him in some way and how he held down the hurt. It was all becoming too much.
The more talks they had the more Steve started to believe he wouldn't last before the Party found him and when they did he would be gone. He would be like Eddie, twisted by his hurt, his sadness, his anger. But Eddie liked to point out he still had his feelings for Steve, that he felt more alive than ever. Than Vecna said if he joined them that Steve wouldn't have to deal with the poor hearing in his left ear or the strain his eyes took whenever he didn't wear the glasses he hid from everyone.
Becoming like Eddie would fix him. He wouldn't be weak anymore and it was getting more and more tempting as the hours? Days? Weeks? past.
Basically just an angsty story that will hit the feels and eventually have a happy ending. Maybe idk. Maybe Steve and Eddie destroy the world. Maybe they save it.
#steddie brainrot#steddie headcanon#kas!eddie#implied vampire Steve#what an odd tag that was XD#vampire eddie munson#steve harrington x eddie munson#steve harrington#eddie munson#vecna/henry/one#stranger things the party#stranger things angst#feels and angst and eventual comfort
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Tagged by @mojowitchcraft
1. How many works do you have on AO3? Twenty as of right now
2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 293,097. I know there's a lot of writers who'll get to that same level with one or two of their long fics but it's still a lot for me 😅
3. What fandoms do you write for? Just Stranger Things these days
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? The Bartender Was A Trap with 2135, Eddie/Hotdude Official Megathread! with 1887, Slither with 1360, Could you coo, could you care? with 1202, and good to me with 1004.
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? As often as I can! It means a lot when people take the time to leave comments. I mostly don't reply when someone is trying to 'well actually...' me about something though
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don't tend to write a lot of sad endings or angst for actual fics. I have some posts on here that have sad endings though. Maybe this one probably that I'd written for febuwhump is the saddest/most angsty?
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I only write happy endings! But definitely either Slither or wasted crying . There were people cheering for those ones
8. Do you get hate on fics? Yeah I got a lot of hate from some people about crushcrushcrush because of the Eddie/Chrissy relationship tag. This version of the characters was in an unhappy and, as we later find out, mutually toxic relationship and I had maybe two or three chapters planned out to explore how it got to that point between them and have her as a much bigger character. I folded under a lot of really horrible things being said to me in anon asks here and guest comments on ao3, and cut it down to a single chapter with everything crammed in, reduced her character down to (as I refer to her) a cardboard cutout pantomime villain, and took the tag off. I wish I had have been able to just brush it off and plow through to give the story the chance it deserved, but I'm still glad I was able to do what I did with it.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I do indeed. I claim not to, but let's be honest with ourselves. Its entirely mlm right now but I do have some wlw written and hidden away. I haven't written straight boy/girl sex in a very long time but I have some that I want to do as part of a series of follow ups to The magic number
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I haven't! But I do think that Eddie Munson would spit in Gator Tillman's mouth the first chance he got.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I have, yes. That's entirely why I created my whole online 'persona' and started trying to show some sort of presence. I had a few too many things taken and claimed as someone else's and I just got sick of it.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No! The opportunity would be a lot of fun though, with the right person
14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Honestly Steddie. It's the only one that's held my attention for so long
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have a really cute Farmer's Market AU for Steddie but I can't find a way to tell the story I want to with it
16. What are your writing strengths? I'm good at characterizations
17. What are your writing weaknesses? Sometimes I over describe things because I myself have trouble visualising it or making a link between point A and point B and assume the reader would too.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I've never tried it because I know I'd be relying so heavily on google translate and I don't want it to sound jarring or stilted.
19. First fandom you wrote for? ...Green Day RPF.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written? Slither has a very special place in my heart obviously. When He Loved Me was a cathartic and freeing way to help myself work through various things while telling the story. I also need to give a shoutout to my first Stranger Things fic, which was an Eddie/OFC story called What happens next? based in canon after Vecna is beaten. I really love the story I told there and I really like the way I wrote Eddie especially. It's cute and fun and I'm proud of it.
zero pressure tags:
@henderdads @infinite-orangepeel @steddielations @thorniest-rose @eddywoww @steddierthings @lexirosewrites @3minsover
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i dunno if you write poly stuff, but can u do some steddie x ftm!reader, angst to fluff where reader is like rlly heartbroken about having a crush on both of them bc reader thinks its weird/confusing plus theyre trans so kinda double homocide 💀 anyway steddie accepts readers confession and comforts them happy ending woohoo
I write any kind of stuff really if that makes sense and I actually really like this idea
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'So it's not weird?' Steddie x ftm!reader
Summary: after a good talk with yourself you finally gather up the courage to tell Steve and eddie what you've wanted to say for a while,
Cw: reader being real upset, angst to fluff
I leaned against my locker, zoned out as Dustin basically yelled into my ear how exited he was about hell fire tonight. It was pretty exiting. But wasn't so excited tho. The thing is Eddie finally managed to get Steve to tag along which made Dustin even happier which isn't the bad part.
The bad part was that i was panicking. I have had a huge crush on Steve and eddie and i hated myself for it. I thought it wasn't normal and that something was wrong with me.
I wished i could just pick one to fanboy over but i simply couldn't. I loved eddie and his mass amount of energy. I loved the way he could light up a room in seconds.
And steve i loved how laid back he was but he could also get serious really quickly. Also how protective he was of the group. Both of those men just made me lose my damn mind.
But confessing would be like asking for a death sentence, especially to both of them. But even if they did somehow say yes and where okay with it what if they found out i was trans. Then it would all be over before it started.
But even them accepting my confession is very, very slim. If i confessed it would probably ruin our friendship forever.
I was suddenly shaken from my thoughts when i felt dustin literally shaking me. He looked really concerned. "Are you okay?" "Ya I'm fine" i quickly answerd trying to hide the fact that i was on the brink of tears. I bit my bottom lip trying not to cry.
My eyes darted around the hall before they landed on a clock. "Oh look at the time, I better go to my last period.. see ya at hell fire Dustin" i said slowly walking away before speeding of in the direction on my class. Dustin stood there confused for a moment before shrugging it off and heading of to his last period.
I rushed into my classroom just as the bell was about to ring. I took a seat in the back and put my head down. I was trying so damn hard not to cry but it was getting harder and harder the more thoughts popped into my head.
Why the hell did I have to have a crush on two damn guys. Why do I have to be so confusing. God I don't even know what this would be called.
God look at me, trans and I have a crush on two guys. Thats double homicide if anything. For now I just have to get through these last hours and I can go home and cry into my pillow and try to forget how weird I am.
Time skip
The Bell rang making me jump slightly as I was half way asleep. I looked around and quickly realised people where packing up and leaving. I cussed under my breath and jumped up. Basically running out the classroom.
I took a deep breath when suddenly I was being picked up. I looked down only to see eddie. He had that usual happy grin on his face. I blushed as he pulled me into a tight hug.
"Ready for hell fire n/n?" He asked. He looked so damn exited and I simply nodded in response. He smiled and led me to the club room. But not even half way there steve joined us, and now it was time to start panicking. I couldn't get a single word out. I was embarrassed as hell.
Why was it so damn akward? Was it me? I breathed heavily as we finally reached the club room.
Eddie paused and turned to me right as he was about to open the door. "Hey n/n you okay, you look out of it?" Eddie asked concerned "Ya you okay m/n?".
Great now both eddie and steve where asking if I was okay. Internally I was fucking screaming. "Ya ya I'm fine just nervous for... hell fire is all". I gave a weak smile to both of the guys. They exchanged glances before eddie finally opened the door.
The room was full of the normal people you'd see in hell fire. Expect lucas was out. Again. So Erica was taking his place, which she was more than happy to do. I took my place next to mike as I normally do and steve stood next to me, using Eddie's "throne" for support.
There was no need for me to be this nervous but something in me was just going crazy. Plus I still couldn't calm down from what happened just seconds ago. I just tried to concentrate on the game and nothing else. But oh god was it so damn difficult.
Yes another time skip
Another successful hour of playing dnd with my friends was over and i actually managed to keep it together. Kinda. Everyone was happily cheering and getting their stuff together.
I was about to get up and join the others when eddie stopped me by grabbing my hand. I turned to him with a slight tint of red on my face.
"Heeey n/n, me and steve are going back to mine to hang out, your coming with" he said with a devilish grin. I gulped and my head ran wild. I quickly responded "sorry eddie I'm busy" i gave him a soft smile before trying to get my hand back.
Suddenly steve grabbed my other hand and a smirk spread across his face. "He wasn't asking" they laughed as they watched my face turn into a look of horror. They pulled me along all the way holding my hands in their's, with eddie slightly ahead of us.
I walked out into the empty parking lot where Steve dragged me and Eddie to his car. Eddie happily jumped into the front seat when Steve unlocked the car. And I got into the back quietly.
Steve pulled out of the parking lot and onto the rode. Eddie gave him a look. "You remember where I live harrington?" "How could I not" Steve answered not taking his eyes of the rode.
I smiled slightly trying to sink into my seat. 'Just smile and sit quietly m/n, maybe they'll forget your here and you can run home and cry at how pathetic you are' at this point I was mentally scolding myself from not being able to resist these two and just give into them.
I looked up and saw eddie looking straight at me. "Okay l/n spill your guts, you've been weird the whole day. Even hell fire and I know how much you love hell fire. I mean come on Even Dustin mentioned how weird you where acting. So come on spill it" eddie said turning from a more cheery tone to a serious one.
I froze. I was darn speechless. I didn't know what to fucking say and the worst part it when I looked over to Steve who was giving me occasional glances. I knew he had concern on his face too.
I put my head down and stayed quiet. Eddie asked me acoulpe more times and so did Steve but I didn't say I word. Now the car ride was silent.
'Great m/n you ruined it you idiot' I mentally scolded myself. I could feel how much I wanted to cry but I couldn't, not here, not now. I bit my tounge trying to stop myself crying.
God why did I have to be weird and ruin one of the best friendships I've ever had. Why did I have to be the weird friend who likes his friends. I bit my tounge and played with my hands. Truing so desperately to calm myself down. But I'm pretty sure both of the guys could see that I was practically shaking.
The car ride was painfull but I didn't want it to end cause I knew as soon as we got to Eddie's they would bonbrad me with questions. I didn't want that. I was so damn on edge I would definitely spill my gut and that would be a disaster.
But that car ride couldn't last forever and soon i felt the car stop and eddie get out. Steve got out and opened the door for me. I nodded a thank and walked with Steve to eddie. Eddie unlocked his door and fell on the couch looking at me and steve.
Steve led me to the couch and sat me between him and eddie. Just fucking great. My breathing quickened when I felt eddie and steve give me a side hug at the same time. They didn't speak but I knew they where burning to know what was bothering me so much.
Steve broke the silence first. "Hey n/n we don't know what's bothering you so much but we hope that we can help in some way" he gave me a soft smile patting me on the back as eddie gave me a tight hug.
I didn't even notice that I started crying. I guess everything I've built up just over flowed. I could feel steve join the hug as well. "Hey if you don't feel comfortable talking about it it's okay but we won't judge you" I could feel eddie smile and tighten the hug.
Now it really all over flowed and I just spilled out my gut. "Goddamit, what's bothering me is you two. I love both of you so damb much but its so fucking weird, I know and maybe I could be normal and confess without all these tear but it would be really much easier if I was born a damn guy just like the both of you!"
I curled up in a ball, sobbing, with both of the guys pulling back to look at me. They looked at eachother before going back to hugging me. I was slightly stunned at this. I more or less stopped sobbing so much but I was the furthest thing from calm.
This time eddie spoke up first. "Jesus I wouldn't be surprised if you told us you could read minds too" he laughed slightly and hid his face in the crook of my neck.
"It was kinda obvious that you had a crush on one of us man, but we didn't really know which one off us" "we didn't expect it too be both" eddie spoke up right after Steve.
I wiped away the tears and looked up at them both. "But what about me be-" I was cut off when Steve picked me up and hugged me lifting me of my feet. Eddie joined in and hugged me from the back.
I didn't know what to say but I was finally happy that they knew, and they didn't think this was weird. "So n/n, Steve are we like in a couple but there are three people?" eddie asked shooting glances at both of us.
"Yes eddie that's how it works" I said as Steve finally put me down. "Nice, but now that your okay, you are okay right?" "Yes I'm fine" I said looking at eddie "good! Now who wants to have some fun?! If you know what i mean" "Seriously eddie?" Steve looked at him, slightly disappointed
"Ehhh fine Steve but I'm taking m/n with me then" eddie smirked as he dragged me off to his room. "Oh no you dont" I heard Steve yell behind us. I smiled. Okay maybe I wasn't so weird after all.
#stranger things#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#gay#x male reader#queer#eddie munson x male!reader#eddie munson x you#steve harrington#Steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x male reader#steve harrington x you#steve x reader x eddie#steddie
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Fic Rec Friday 6/16/2023
Title: The Best Part of Me is That I’m the B-Side to You
Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Category: M/M
Fandom: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Relationship: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson
Characters: Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson, And ensemble
Additional Tags: Hurt and comfort, Angst, Established Relationship, kind of, Fix-It, not a slow burn we burn fast like cheap cigarettes, [magnolia park's "i'm back on my bullshit" plays in the background]
Summary: Maybe it was too early to say that. Maybe it was too early to say Steve was in love. He usually fell hard. He thought he was in love with Nancy Wheeler. He fell hard for her too.
But Eddie Munson?
Eddie Munson is intoxicating.
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AKA the one where Steve and Eddie have been dating Eddie's entire senior year.
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*heavy breathing*
Okay. So. This one is a bit of a doozy for me. I hope the 80k isn’t too intimidating for you - if it is, I get it - because holy shit I cannot recommend it enough. You know a fic is fucking good when you read it once and immediately resign yourself to never reading it again because it’s just… too much. That was me months ago when I first read this. The very thought brought me to tears. And if that wasn’t enough, I couldn’t listen to Head Over Heels again until like a week or two ago, lol. And now I’ll have to wait months and months again before I can listen to it without immediately tearing up. The power of incredible writing.
This is probably (definitely) my favorite of the ‘Steve and Eddie are secretly dating’ subgenre of Steddie fics. As well as my favorite ‘Eddie and Steve knew each other while Steve worked at Scoops’ story. They’re both very niche genres, of course. So much of this fic has kind of wormed itself into my brain and my own headcanons that re-reading it for this rec was an eye-opening experience. “Wait, that was from this? I thought I made that up!”
I never would have thought that a substitute phrase for I Love You could make me tear up, but dammit, if I even slightly think of the words “I’m forever yours,” I’m gone. In tears as we speak. With that out of the way, yes - I cried again while re-reading it. Not as much as I did the first time, mind you, but yeah. Y’all know me; I am as soft as a gently baked batch of cookies.
To summarize: cute boys being cute together and almost dying makes Roosterbox cry like a baby, lol.
Highly, highly recommended.
Important side note: No link, except to the login page. The writer has locked the fic for the time being. Not gonna complain or judge them for it (if they’re reading this, I understand - you do what you feel you must), just FYI. You can still find it if you have an Ao3 account.
———
Next Week: Okay guys, I’m gonna level with you. I think it’s time to dive headfirst into one of my favorite fic tropes. One that a loooooot of people aren’t into. For various reasons. And I get it. I do, I swear I do. But you know… it’s always been one of my comfort tropes. I am, of course, talking about the M word. Mpreg. And it’s my favorite type of Mpreg story: one where it isn’t explained. Is it ABO? Maybe but probably not. Is the guy trans? Maybe. Is it just that men can get pregnant in this universe? Maaaaaaaybe. Draw your own conclusions and/or have your own headcanon. Just enjoy the ride.
Oh, and it’s Arthur/Eames by the way. Figured that was important to mention.
Until next week, darlings ❤️
#fic rec friday#steddie#writer: novacorpsrecruit#canon compliant#secretly dating#watching the actual show will never live up to this#sorry Duffers#lol#actually i’m not sorry#these boys deserve good things
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The Two-Headed Calf - Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson
AN: if you know the poem, you know. If you don't i recommend u check it out. i remembered it and started crying over it, cried for a while and thought you know what would make a great steddie fanfic? and here we are. I have a horrific migrane and i feel like trash but i finished this :) good.
WARNINGS: rewriting season 4 so Eddie lives, violence, self-hatred, internalised homophobia, Steve's got bad parents, neglectful/abusive parents, angst with a happy ending (i have a migrane and I'm too tired to type these out) APOLOGIES FOR MY POOR EDITING/WRITING ;-;
word count: 4402
Some nights, Steve lay awake out in the fields of Hawkins, as far away from the town as he could get and just stare at the clouds. Stared at the sky until the colours faded from the soft shade of blue to orange and pink and then dark. Out here, he could see all the constellations. All the distant stars, glittering in the sky above.
His mind would run, thoughts drifting through his head like the clouds gently rolling through the blue above. Thinking of everything and nothing all at once. If he was anywhere else, those thoughts would likely overwhelm and consume him. Here, though overwhelming, he could think more clearly. He'd never tell anyone where he was, so no one could disturb him up here. Here, he was alone, but he could breathe. He could lay on the grass at the apex of the hill, take a deep breath, and lose himself.
Maybe Steve Harrington didn't understand what love was.
Sure he'd kissed girls before and had girlfriends- had relationships his whole adolescence. But looking back on it, did any of those girls ever even love him? When perfect Nancy Wheeler came along, he thought she was the one. She didn't use him for the money or the popularity or the access to Tommy H's parties. She wouldn't randomly disappear only to leave him feeling worthless, or force him to do anything he didn't want. And sure, he may have appeared like an asshole from afar but she never said that. She never did.
Perhaps that's why he fell for her harder than anyone else before. Because she was so kind to him. Because she cared about him.
Was he in the wrong to be jealous of her and Johnathan? Calling her a slut and publically shaming her in front of the entire town was a far stretch- he recognised that. And Jonathan had physically punched some sense into his stubborn head. The guilt bubbled from inside, eating away at him but why had he let it? What else was he supposed to do when his girlfriend was spending more time with some random guy she hardly knew than her own boyfriend?
She had called their relationship bullshit. Sure she was drunk, but that usually gives people the courage to say what's really on their minds. A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts, right? But something he was always so curious of but too terrified to ask- where her feelings for him bullshit, or did she think his love for her was?
Those two thoughts clashed together in his brain for the entirety of that fall. When he wasn't saving kids from the Upside Down or battling against Demogorgons, Steve would feel... Empty.
Maybe Steve wasn't deserving of love.
He'd see other kids with their parents- running to them with their exams marked with big bright 'A's and hugging them. Hugging their own parents. The last time any of his parents had hugged him was for family photos last Winter- and that let alone could hardly be defined as a hug. Just gentle pats on the shoulders- nothing bone-crushing or severe. Sensible.
He'd walk around that huge house of his sometimes and stare at those pictures. How his parents never smiled, never expressed emotions. Always stoic, always emotionless. Always them. He'd think about going to the parties in houses a few blocks down, and about taking a moment to lock himself away in a room and just be by himself. His eyes would always drift to the happy families in their pictures, the polaroids of kids opening Christmas presents with dates marked in December. Their first days of school. Their first football, or basketball games.
Steve didn't have any polaroids. He rarely asked for Christmas or birthday gifts anymore, he just made sure to smile and thank his father and kiss his mother on the cheek for a sweater or some cash. That is, if they were around. In the evening, they'd go visit his aunts and cousins to wish them their Merry Christmas' and disappear once again, leaving him alone.
When they first started leaving- to work, on business trips out of town- Steve thought he was the luckiest kid in the world. No babysitter? No parents? He could watch cartoons until the sun rose in the morning and eat chocolate pancakes for lunch. But that lost the charm as quickly as it came. When he became a teenager, it was only useful for parties. The house would be full of people in the once-empty rooms, the water of his pool rippling against the bodies there... Though he knew he'd be cleaning vomit from the kitchen and scrubbing the counters clean until the late afternoon the day after, alone once again.
Everything he learned to survive was on his own, and a large part of him decided maybe that's how he'd live for the rest of his life. No wife or children to come home to. Just him and his big, empty house.
He always longed for a family. Someone to fill the empty spaces. He hadn't expected Dustin Henderson, a kid grades below him, to become like a brother to him on a hunt for a creature that ate his cat. He didn't expect to be defending Lucas Sinclair and Max Mayfield from said creatures with a baseball bat- or for Max to steal his car after he got beaten up by her step-brother. Protecting them from threat, and imminent death- it filled the emptiness of being needed. And being in pain at least made him feel something.
By the time he graduated and summer came along, he took up a job in Starcourt and met Robin. The job gave him something to do now that he was out of school. His parents could afford for him to go to university but something was stopping him. He told himself it was the threat of those things coming back for the kids that he had adopted as his family but that wasn't entirely true. The honest, scary, truth was the knowledge that his teenage years would end and he would have become an adult- that is what kept him from going. Being anything remotely like his parents.
And even if in that summer, he had infiltrated a secret Russian base beneath the mall, gotten drugged and beaten within an inch of his life, and then confessed his feelings to his co-worker and got rejected by her... He still felt happy. They had all lived thanks to him. And he had gained a lifelong friend in Robin.
They worked together again in Family Video, which compared to scooping ice cream was equally as easy. Stacking tapes on the shelves, hanging up new posters in the windows or around the store and talking the customers into seeing certain movies- he could do that. Operating the computers was a little more difficult so he left that to Robin. She always seemed to get the hang of them quicker.
When they weren't working, they were talking. About the girls they liked around town, or home, or their friends' lives. Sharing how crazy it was that their children were all grown up- starting High school. Though he tried giving them advice, they weren't keen to hear it, claiming they'd be fine and 'thanks for worrying, mom'. At this point, he wouldn't fight them. He was starting to nag them like a mother would- or should.
When Dustin mentioned Eddie, it was almost like time stood still for Steve. He hardly knew the guy, Dustin had to fill some blanks in. Long hair, metalhead, plays DnD. Right. Steve had only heard stories about him- he didn't think ever shared the same class, let alone were in the same grade. Stories of how he punched someone in the face and got suspended because they'd cut his hair. Stories of him and his 'cult' in Hellfire sacrificing cats to the Devil from around town. Stories of an outsider everyone was seemingly afraid of.
He had been wary for his friend, attempting to retell him the sacrificing animals part, but when Dustin told him the club was nothing like that, Steve was confused. Of course it was about that dungeons and dragons game- though Dustin tried to teach Steve how to play countless of times before he went to Camp Know-Where, he never got the hang of it. And now that someone else was there for him at school?
Was it jealousy he felt? It was so stupid to be jealous of someone he hardly knew- with the way Dustin described him as almost Godlike, it was hard not to though. Some darkness inside him would whisper that he was being replaced, that Dustin wouldn't need him anymore, that no one needed him. Then Robin would click her fingers in front of his face and point to the Pamela Anderson cutout he still needed to take to the back and he would silence his thoughts until he got to the hill.
When Dustin appeared after that Hawkin's student was announced dead, begging him to help him find Eddie, he was reluctant. Eventually, he relented tapping away at the computer- he hated seeing Dustin so distressed.
Upon first meeting him, Eddie had held the sharpened edge of a bottle up to Steve's neck, shoving him hard against the flimsy walls of a boathouse he had never been to and threatening to kill him. And even with the adrenaline coursing through his body, the bruising grip on his shoulder that reminded him of his father on a bad day, Steve saw his eyes. The pain and the fear inside them made his heart constrict with feeling. Accused of murder- he didn't deserve this. They'd find a way to prove Eddie's innocence.
It should have been obvious to them all that the sudden murders occurring in town would be the fault of the alternate dimension under their town- though he wasn't sure how monsters would look in an alibi to the police.
Though Eddie had mentioned Nancy's selfless act of jumping into Lover's lake for him as an unambiguous sign of love as his cynical eyes had seen, Steve didn't believe that. Steve had long made peace with the fact that maybe he wasn't in love with Nancy in the first place. He had almost died with Robin and knew her secret- he loved her deeply but only only ever as a friend. Eddie... He hardly knew. And he still jumped after him.
He wanted to point that out to him, say something clever and sly to impress him but an earthquake sent them gripping onto one another arms to keep steady. And why did he suddenly, simultaneously feel so calm, yet so nervous in Eddie's grasp?
Their final, he hoped, enemy to kill would be the mastermind. Vecna, as Dustin had called him- a name taken straight from one of Eddie's campaigns. Though Steve hated the idea that they were all putting themselves into mortal danger and he couldn't be there all at once to help them- especially Max, having seen her almost die in the graveyard and entirely not approving of the plan that she'd be the one to bring him to Creele house- he had to bite his tongue. There was no other way, he told himself.
And by some grace of God, they had killed him. The molotovs Steve and Robin flung at him set him ablaze; Nancy dealing the fatal shots as he fell through the top-story window and dissolved gruesomely into the ground below. It was over.
Though of course they were stuck in the parallel dimension on the brink of its collapse without it's creator being alive- and when Robin mentioned she hadn't heard Eddie's guitar in a long time, an unexpected pang of fear shot through Steve's heart. The three darted between the vines, though found it odd to see them seemingly retreating away from the three as they made their way to the trailer park.
Dustin's heartbroken cries of Eddie's name sent his heart racing. Steve had never seen anyone die before, and Eddie certainly looked worse for wear with the amount of blood pouring from his legs and neck. How he, Robin and Nancy all managed to drag him out of there was a miracle- especially with the portal closing behind them so suddenly, the crack in the ceiling on their side disappearing. The connection forever severed.
When the police came for Eddie, Steve was the first to step up. He lied about Eddie being at his home for a small gathering he had with Robin at the time of the murder- just the three of them. Thankfully, she covered for him, forming a solid alibi. Eddie would be free once he made it out of the hospital.
Ever worried for his kids, he'd stayed behind all night to make sure they were okay. Something about Max's pale face and seeing her arms and legs in those casts constricted his heart. Memories of her on her skateboard outside his home, along the roads, orange hair a fiery blaze behind her. When would she be able to skate again?
It all became unbearable- knowing in part it was his fault she was stuck here like this. He stepped out of the room at the same time as an older man- someone he would come to know as Wayne Munson. The look of relief on his face spoke volumes, and when he walked over to Steve and enveloped him in a tight hug, he felt like sobbing there and then. He could hardly hear the man's rambling of thanks, the blood rushing through his ears the tears threatening to spill down his cheeks. But he couldn't cry. Not here.
He simply pat the man on the shoulder once he had let him go and returned his smile- his happy, relieved smile. "You saved my boy, son. Thank you." He had told him. Son.
Eddie's warm, brown gaze was fixed on the ceiling when he pushed the door open and entered. Steve knew they called him a freak and a devil worshiper... But here, he looked angelic. His hair an unruly mess creating a halo around his head, a single lamp off to the side casting him in white light. The bandana he had was removed from his hair and there was a bandage on his neck, splotched with blood. It had also stained the neck of the hospital gown he was wearing. To his surprise, he was handcuffed to the bed. He remembered the blue uniform of the officer standing guard outside. Why?
"Are you just gonna keep staring, or did you need something?" Eddie's voice was hoarse. It cracked, and tore through the quiet, only broken up rhythmically by the beeping of the heart monitor he was hooked up to,
"Why-" Steve's throat was so dry. When was the last time he ate anything? Likely before battle, "You're cuffed..." Steve gestured weakly. Eddie's gaze finally met Steve's before he glanced down. he moved his wrist so the metal clinked against itself,
"Mhm," Steve stepped closer, "Safety precaution. Hawkin's still thinks I'm a murderer," Eddie said it so casually, a hint of melancholy in his tone. Like he had accepted his fate. And for some odd... Odd reason, Steve's blood boiled at the thought.
"We'll make sure to change their minds," He said with determination, though Eddie scoffed and shook his head, "Hey, man it'll-"
"Why'd you even say anything?" Eddie spat, those brown eyes filled with anger and confusion, "Huh? You could have told them the truth but you lied-" He whispered, wary of the guard outside, "-to the cops about me!?" The anger morphed to something else- to... Confusion, "Why didn't you just hand me over? Told them I killed her- it's more hassle than I'm worth-"
"It's not...!" Eddie went quiet, fixing him with a stare, "Look, would you rather go to jail for a murder you didn't do?"
"Would you rather have the town know you hang out with a freak like me?" The hurt behind those words was so obvious to Steve as he watched a lone tear slip down Eddie's cheek. How long had people been calling him a freak that he grew this used to the word?
"Yeah," Steve said honestly, "Yeah I would, Eddie,"
Eddie leaned back against the pillows and blinked in disbelief. His eyes darted over the blank covers over his legs before he sighed. Steve was a jock- Steve was everything Eddie disagreed with on a fundamental basis. Good at sports, good at picking up girls, good at socialising with other people. He was popular. Belonged to a stupid system in schools- a pointless hierarchy the mindless asshats followed.
Eddie was shunned for not fitting in at all. He grew accustomed to the name-calling, to the labels. At some point, he thought there really was something wrong with him. And maybe there was- somewhere deep, deep down, something was just not right. Not how he was supposed to be.
Here he thought Steve would be one of those to call him the devil... Yet here he was, unafraid to protect him. To protect Dustin, protect those kids. He tried his hardest to save them all, and he did. It was because of him that he could make it back to Wayne in one piece, not yet digested by those bats. With another deep sigh, Eddie let his head fall against the fluff of his pillows,
"Well," He hummed, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he thought, "You're saying I was at your place...?" Even if he didn't want to, agreeing to Steve's coverup held more benefits for him. They had already avenged Chrissy by killing off that monster...
Considering Eddie and Wayne's trailer had been destroyed with the closing of the portals, they were relatively homeless. Until Steve offered them both a guest bedroom each in his own home. Even though the town was less than approving, let alone his parents, he felt it was the least he could do. Give them both a home until they could find somewhere else to live.
It also gave them time to spend with one another. They shared a love for staying up way late into the silence of the night, where no one could yell at or bother them, gazing up at the stars above. Sometimes they would listen to music; sometimes Eddie would play music on a guitar Steve dug out for him from the garage. They always found themselves with one another at night.
The nightmares of it all- the fire, the bats. Wrapping around Steve's neck. Biting into Eddie's flesh. Sleep was difficult when their minds would replay the events of that fall on a loop. Their shared nightmares led to seeing the other more; either sleepily meeting in the kitchen, at the top of the staircase, or simultaneously leaving their rooms.
Steve was unsure when one night Eddie suggested they shared a bed. It had been a particularly bad night- Steve waking up shaking and crying and Eddie being on high alert, eyes darting over any dark corner in the kitchen as they sipped their tea together in the moonlight streaming in through the window. But he agreed.
Though he was still unsettled, being wrapped in Eddie's arms brought him more peace than he had felt in years. Knowing the exact pain one another was going through and either quietly whispering about it, or distracting one another with whispers of reassurance quelled their anxieties. Steve had never been held like this before. Like the other person truly and deeply cared for him, wanted to take the bad from his head so he would feel okay. He felt it so strongly from Eddie... He never wanted to let him go.
"Yeah so... They're giving us temporary housing out in Lawrence- I think it's right next to Indianapolis?" Eddie told him as they got out of the car, "I'm moving out to the big city, Steve," he chuckled, pulling a guitar from the back of Steve's car and slinging it onto his back. He falls into step beside Steve as the gravel crunches beneath their feet,
"Shit, that is far," Steve frowns as they step onto grass, footsteps muffled,
"Don't worry- I'll get you the address and phone number as soon as I can," He says quickly, "Oh! Also, since I apparently failed High School so many times and I can't retake any of the classes because of... All the shit that happened, they're giving me a- and hear this," He puts his arms out with a grin, "Circumstantial pass," He grins brightly, and Steve can't help but smile and laugh along with him,
"That's great for you, Eds," he says,
"I know! Good riddance- you know I really won't fucking miss Hawkins," He says fondly, sighing. They reach their destination and stop, staring forwards. The said town looks miniature from the distance they're at. Steve can't focus on it for long and instead turns his head to the side to watch Eddie's hair gently blowing in the wind. The pink sky fading behind him and the happy smile on his lips... "Maybe I'll miss you. And Hellfire," He says with a shrug. He gives Steve a brief look, before glancing around, "This it?"
"Uhh, yeah!" Steve nods, "It is," He's quickly taking off his old Hawkins High varsity jacket and sets it on the grass. He motions Eddie to it,
"You're such a gentleman, Stevie," Eddie smirks, and Steve just smiles and rolls his eyes like the nickname doesn't make him feel like he's on top of the world. His hands are on his hips as he watches Eddie sit on the material and pull the guitar from over his shoulder to set in his lap. Only then does he sit next to him, stretching his legs out before him as Eddie begins to pluck the strings gently. Steve can't recognise the tune, but whatever it is he likes it. It's calming, "I was telling the truth though," Eddie's voice is soft again when he speaks, just quiet enough that it doesn't interrupt the peace the guitar brings; just quiet enough that it gets Steve's attention,
"About what?" He asks, hearing Eddie chuckle softly,
"That I'll miss you," He says, "If someone told me that my last happy memories in Hawkins, Indiana would be with Steve Harrington, I would have called them a freak," He snorts to himself, "And that's coming from me," He grins,
"You really shouldn't call yourself a freak, Eddie," Steve says, and he can't stop fucking looking at Eddie. He feels the skin of his neck and cheeks burn whenever Eddie casts him these little glances, just little peaks of the brown eyes he so deeply longs to stare at forever. He needs to commemorate him to memory- he needs this version of Eddie, uncharacteristically calm and overwhelmingly happy to be the one that stays with him for the rest of his life,
"I've heard it all my life," He shrugs dismissively,
"That can still change," Steve shrugs back. Eddie hums, missing a chord,
"Oh?" He muses, "Change to what?" He asks curiously,
"Saviour," Steve breathes, "Of the world. Without you, we would have never defeated Vecna and saved everyone," Eddie has stopped playing music,
"You really think so?" Steve looks to see the smallest of smiles on Eddie's lips. He looks timid, uncertain of the compliment. Steve can only nod, not trusting his mouth to say the right words. Eddie nods back, though his smile widens and he grins to himself, "Eddie the Saviour," He breathes, rings clicking against the wood of the guitar as he rests his hands on it, "You know that has a good ring to it," He glances back at Steve when he laughs,
"Sure it does,"
"Though, I have you to thank too, King Steve," And when it comes from Eddie's lips, it's full of pride and joy. A beautiful warmth blossoms in Steve's chest, "Saving me like that and dragging me out of Hell," He feels a gentle push to his arm,
"Well, yeah I mean... You needed saving," He says, smiling and casting Eddie another glance,
"So you're saying I'm your princess? Fair maiden? Damsel in distress?" Eddie asks, a playful glint in his eye,
"No, I wasn't- don't put words in my mouth Munson," Steve laughs though, and just barely misses Eddie sitting up a little straighter and removing the guitar from his lap,
"Mhm... It'd make you a Prince," Eddie tells him, "Knight in shining armour... My saviour," He can feel Eddie shift closer, then appear into view. He's sitting with his back to the town, focusing his gaze on Steve's; eyes flicking over the moles dotting his cheeks, the upturned curve of his lips and the way his hair is slightly falling into his eyes,
"Your saviour?" There's no need to be loud when it's only them here. Only them, away from the prying eyes of the town they've grown to hate, the town they gave so much to protect,
"Mhm," Eddie hums happily. His tongue darts out to wet his lips, "And I think..." He pauses, "You deserve a reward," Eddie plucks a flower from where it grows beside the jacket, turning it over in his hands, it's white petals and yellow centre becoming a blur as it spins between his fingers, "For your valiant efforts and effervescent courage," Steve snorts at that,
"Right," He says with amusement, though plays along, "And what reward do you suggest, Eddie?" He asks, leaning forward in invitation.
From here, Steve can see the healed scarring on Eddie's neck, a paler colour compared to the rest of his neck. Then dipping just below the Motorhead shirt, a deeper bruise. A love bite from a few days before, formed in Steve's room against the wall near his closet. The sunlight glitters on the chain of Eddie's necklace under the rapidly setting sun, and a small grin is set on his plush, pink lips. He has never seen someone look so... Beautiful,
"A kiss," And who is Steve to deny the one he has found to love a kiss?
Lying together on the hill, Steve's head resting in Eddie's lap as he rambled on about Orion and Cassiopeia up there, Steve's heart soared. There was truly no other place he'd want to be.
Tonight, there were twice as many stars in the sky as there were before.
#eddie#eddie stranger things#eddie munson#eddie munson x steve harrington#steve harrington#steve x eddie#stranger things#stranger things season four#stranger things season 4#stranger things spoilers#eddie munson stranger things#stranger things 4#st4#stranger things 4 spoilers#harrington#steddie#steveddie#eddie x steve
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Okay so stranger things volume 2 kinda made sense to me while watching it but then I read the most colourful reviews and I'm here to talk about it. I'm mostly gonna talk about the things that I've seen being talked about that frustrate me. Here it goes.(It gets kiiinda long and kinda messy but hopefully it's somewhat understandable)
Will
The whole gay anguish Will has been put through this season honestly HURTS to watch. I don't care if they're using the gay character and stuff but ANY character being put through this kind of psychological pain AFTER already getting traumatized is just. Not it? I enjoyed the angst I'll admit but still they're not living his character up to its potential. Will was the main subject, like the main GOAL in the beginning right. Boi got fucked up in the first season but no you have to keep the connection going someway in season 2 so make him suffer more. FINE. Season two was still okay because there was potential for recovery and it could've been redeemed in season 3 but nope. It did not. What the hell even was season 3 for Will specifically? Season 3 feels like a fever dream not gonna lie but anyway the last two seasons have done NOTHING for Will.
Byler
Season 4 would've been PERFECT for the recovery process to start through Byler and I'm not just saying this because the show needs more positive LGBTQ representation but because it would make 100% sense for the characters and the plot to progress better. Also I feel like a lot of people are just shipping characters for absolutely no reason this season in the name of representation. Like I get shipping my guys but don't say its for the rep if it doesn't make sense. But yeah anyway Will's character has reached a potentially irredeemable point for me. Hopefully it'll SOMEHOW make sense in season 5.
Mileven
Okay so um. I'm a casual viewer I don't really care about the show after a few hours of finishing it BUT this relationship was enough to distress me for two years. I stopped shipping these two after season three tbh and then I come into season four and hEAR MIKE SAYING THAT HIS LIFE FELT LIKE IT STARTED WHEN HE MET ELEVEN WHAT THE HELL. Season 3 was kinda wierd for a few characters, there was such inconsistency with the character writing. Like there are bad characters and then there's bad writing. Mike was a great friend right from season one and suddenly he's a douche who can't see how much his best friend is suffering and literally crying beside him? Does not make sense. This whole relationship or the whole love triangle has been disgusting to see. It just does not make sense. I'm all for characters turning stupid or changing through circumstances but can someone please explain to me how Mike's downfall came to be. He's nothing but a love interest now? Just following around El with Will following him, is that it? Mike's entire focus shifted to eleven this season. Maybe it was because of everyone else was safe and close to him? The story is being made in a way as if Mike has always thought of El as number one priority but he didn't. I don't know it just doesn't feel right.
Characters in general
I don't know know how anyone else interprets the characters and the show in such detail but I feel like they(the writers) are literally reducing the characters to some tropes so that they show this big huge fight between the worlds. The writers are doing a horrible job handling the characters. ESPECIALLY relationships. This show and the fandom are the messiest in ships. I feel like I'm saying controversial stuff right now but eh. For the fans, I'm sorry but steddie being shipped was just a huge ass blow to my face. I could still predict ronance coming but steddie? Hell nah. Where'd people even dig that up from. A little eye contact? we do not need to ship a canonically(or presumed) gay character from every same sex interaction we see. Ronance kinda felt like it'd be cool but they felt more like buddies to me so. I respect the ships but I just haven't seen the content or posts that could convinced that they could have any canon potential. I like my ships a little more canon inspired. So yeah. For the show itself, they've fucked me up by butchering a lot of things this season and relationships is one main point as we've established already. Since I've already typed a paragraph about mileven let's go with something small for Nancy and Steve. No. It just fucks with all the character development Steve's had the past three seasons and just does not make sense. It makes sense that Nancy and Jonathan might not be able to work it out because of the distance and stuff but really? You're gonna make Nancy, the smart confident Nancy, go back to her ex she walked away from? That's just. Mmm mm.
Anyway yeah this was it. Don't think anyone's gonna read this but feels good to type it out. Also if anyone does read this I'm sorry if it has any stuff that doesn't make sense I've completely COMPLETELY forgotten season 3. If anyone doesnt agree or has a different perspective on these things please DM me I'd love to understand better.
#stranger things#stranger things 4#stv2#mileven#byler s4#byler#mike stranger things#mike wheeler#will byers#steve Harrington#Nancy wheeler#eleven#Jane hopper#personal interpretation#season 4 what a mindfuck#either the duffers are on a higher level of intelligence#or they're pulling the show out of their ass#does not make sense to me#someone help me understand#genuinely asking for help
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This is Chapter 1 of the multi-chapter fic I originally started this AU with. All the oneshots came after I'd already started writing this fic but hadn't published it, and several were made while I was still writing it too. Hope y'all enjoy it!
Fandom: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Relationships: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson, Maxine "Max" Mayfield/Lucas Sinclair, Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington & Dustin Henderson, Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington & The Party, Past Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Characters: Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson, Dustin Henderson, Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Lucas Sinclair, Mike Wheeler, Will Byers, Eleven | Jane Hopper, Nancy Wheeler, Robin Buckley, Jonathan Byers, Argyle (Stranger Things), Billy Hargrove(Mentioned), Henry Creel | One | Vecna, Erica Sinclair
Additional Tags: Blood and Injury, Vomiting, Steve Gets Vecna'd, Canon-Typical Violence, The Upside Down, Demobats, Alternate Universe-Canon Divergence, Eddie Munson Lives, Episode: s04e04 Dear Billy(Stranger Things), Fruity Four, that's not a tag yet??, ST fandom what have you been doing this past month??, Gay Eddie Munson, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Mentioned Secret Relationship, gay crushes, Steve's yellow sweater ;), Screaming, Crying, Struggling, just general chaos really, Major Character Injury, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Angst, Nightmares, Nancy Wheeler is a bitch and I stand by that, I called it in season one and I was right, Psychological Trauma, Childhood Trauma, Flirting, forgot that one oops, steddie, Stop burying your gays, Let your gays live in peace damnit, Fuck you Duffers, No beta we die like bob, Steve Harrington Has Bad Parents, Steve Harrington also has PTSD, Single Mother Steve, Eddie Wants to be Dad LMAO, Eddie Munson Calls Steve Harrington Pet Names, Making Out, Steve is not a Harrington, Steve Harrington Has a Crush on Eddie Munson, Eddie Munson Has a Crush on Steve Harrington, If that wasn't obvious by like chapter two
They managed to save Max from Vecna at the graveyard(thank God for Kate Bush)but now Steve was displaying all the symptoms of the people who had been cursed so far.
Steve wasn't buying it. He didn't believe that Vecna would just move on like that if he couldn't have Max. And Steve knew that as soon as he admitted he'd been cursed, Max would give him her walkman since it was the only one they had on hand. He wouldn't risk Max like that. Maybe Vecna was trying to fake them out so he could snatch Max away as soon as she gave up her Walkman. Steve didn't know for sure, but he refused to take that chance. She'd been through enough-all the kids had.
If only he'd told Eddie his favorite song when he'd asked.
#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#gay#st4#stancy sailed and sunk#its over Duffers#quit shoving it down our throats#it disrespects the acting skills and chemistry of Joe Keery and Joseph Quinn in s4#au#The Prettiest Boys In Hawkins#TPBiH
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