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pastelwitchling · 3 years

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Somebody to You (Chapter 2/4)

Isobel was not even a little bit what Alex expected her to be. She flipped her hair as he’d imagined she would, and she had the same sneaky smirk that Michael did that made Alex’s heart ache, but as they strolled the museum halls, passing painting after sculpture after painting after ancient pieces of New Mexican history, her remarks were never teasing but genuine.

She seemed fascinated less with the actual artwork and more with what Alex thought of it himself. As if she hoped to unravel the mystery of him by knowing his opinion on the mundane.

“What about this one?” she pointed at a piece. “And that one? What about this?”

“Isobel,” Max panicked, “don’t touch that!”

Alex hid a smile. Max and Isobel had the relationship he’d always secretly wished he had with his brothers, despite their differences. Despite their father trying to get in between them and pin them against each other.

He should’ve been sad, should’ve felt left out as he usually did when Michael started flirting with a girl when they were hanging out; like everything was a reminder of how much he didn’t fit, but . . . Max kept looking for his reactions, and Isobel kept her arm hooked around his and glaring at anyone that gave the only gay kid a sideways glance, and both of them felt the need to fill Alex in on any inside joke they had.

By the end of the museum visit, Alex realized the entire trip had been listening to more of the Evans’ stories than knowing anything about the pieces they’d seen. It was nice, like being with Liz and Kyle, except one of them kept watching him, raising an inconspicuous brow whenever Alex pulled his phone out and the other kept giving him covert glances and smirking, like she knew something Alex didn’t.

Alex almost wanted to tell Isobel that he knew about Max’s feelings for him, as surprising and out of character as they were, but couldn’t bring himself to confess to them. They’d feel real, like he was humoring Max instead of the truth, which was pining and loving his brother and forever miserable at the strange distance Michael seemed to be taking with him now.

Too lost in his thoughts about Michael, Alex didn’t even realize that Max was holding a smoothie in his face until his nose hit the cold cup.

Alex blinked, startled, and Max smiled softly. “Sorry. Pineapple’s your favorite, right?”

“Yeah,” Alex said slowly, taking the cup. Isobel was holding something aggressively pink and Max’s own was a deep blue. “How’d you know?”

An unreadable expression crossed Max’s face for a split second, but it was gone so quickly that Alex was sure he must’ve imagined it.

“I asked Michael,” he said, gaging Alex’s reaction as he took a sip.

Alex had no idea how much it felt like he was suffocating until he had something cold and delicious trickle into his chest, like a window was open to his heart and he was able to breathe.

His eyes fluttered and he sighed, content. Max’s smile widened.

Alex pulled off the straw and looked down. He was used to being watched, but people’s interests usually quickly faded. Max, on the other hand, seemed to stare more and more.

He cleared his throat, swirling the yellow smoothie. He glanced at Isobel, to make sure was busy harassing the enamored girl behind the desk about her right to have more granola. “Can I ask you something?”

“Me?” Max blinked. “Yeah!”

“Why now?” Alex asked. “I mean, we’ve been around each other since middle school.”

Max seemed to think about this a moment, then, “I guess I just never looked at you that way. I mean, you’re – you’re my brother’s best friend.”

“But that hasn’t changed.”

“No,” he agreed. “But . . . Michael told me you play the piano.”

“So?”

“So,” Max swallowed, “I didn’t know that. I never even imagined it. You have this whole emo thing going, but . . . it feels . . . like . . . there’s more to you, I guess?” He shut his eyes. “Which I know is so stupid to say because I don’t know you that well, but I – I want to. I want to . . . know the guy that looks like he could rule the Underworld and still plays beautiful music on his piano and who laughs around his friends and who’s always there for the people that need him. You’re just good, Alex.” He turned red and wouldn’t meet Alex’s eyes when he continued, “You’re – you’re cute and you’re good, and . . . I don’t know, that feels like the best kind of story.”

Alex stared until beads of ice water fell down the side of the cup and over his fingers. He blinked, and looked down. He should’ve been angry that some stranger would claim to know anything about him, but only Michael had ever been able to tell when Alex was angry about his father, and rebelling in everything from his clothes to his makeup to his words. When he found comfort in the dark aesthetic, but everyone else was uneased by it. Alex was scary and unapproachable. Only Michael had ever known of how weighed down he could be by others’ aversion to him, how much mattered to him. And now, it seemed, so did Max.

Alex swallowed thickly, running through the million things he would say. How’d you know? Don’t read my mind like that. How did you so easily say what Michael never seems to want to? In the end, however, he settled for, “Oh.”

Watching Alex and Isobel together was . . . not unpleasant. Far from it, actually, Max found himself laughing when Isobel eagerly tugged Alex along every few blocks to gossip about who-knows-what, and Alex scrunched his nose every so often in a way that made Max’s heart flutter. It was either giggle a little breathlessly at his reactions or press his hand over his chest and question what his racing heart meant.

“What’s so funny?” Alex asked at one point.

Max blushed at the idea of confessing, but he figured it would help his case, so he murmured, “You’re kind of adorable,” and took a long gulp of his drink, refusing to look at Alex for his reaction.

They walked along the neighborhood for a long time. Isobel treated them each to a beer, and if Alex was annoyed by her at all, he definitely didn’t show it. In fact, he looked amused every time she spoke, and it made something in Max’s protective heart melt.

Stop it, he scolded. This is fake, this is all fake. Remember your mission.

When the time came for them to part ways, Max insisted on walking Alex to his house.

“Ooh, Max,” Isobel hooked her arm around Alex’s. “Such a gentleman! Ready to go, Alex?”

But Alex, Max now realized, had faltered.

“Erm,” he gently removed his arm from Isobel’s. He looked, for the first time that Max had ever seen him, nervous. “Th-That’s okay. I like walking by myself.”

Max shook his head. “Alex, it’s really late, I can just –”

“It’s fine, okay?” Alex said with some edge, walking backwards. “Seriously, I don’t need help.” Then, as an afterthought, he added, “Thanks though. I had a lot of fun. Really. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Isobel murmured back, her brows pinched, and when she looked to Max, he saw the same confused concern on her face that he felt. He’d thought everything was going fine. He’d thought offering to take Alex home would be a good thing. Had he said something wrong?

When he and Isobel made it back into the house, they stopped in the corridor that separated their rooms. Isobel leaned her shoulder against her door a moment, and with a gentle smile, she said, “I like him.”

Max pursed his lips. The same words were on his tongue, but they felt wrong to say. Isobel didn’t know that all of it was an act, that he had only gone out with Alex to help get rid of his feelings for Michael. The softness of her blue eyes forbid Max from confessing to that truth.

So all he did was hum, mutter a goodnight, and open his door. When he stepped in, he found Michael on the edge of his bed, leaning his elbows on his knees, his hands interlocked tightly.

Finding Michael in his room at ungodly hours was no surprise, but Max rarely saw him so distressed, his jaw clenched, his eyes focused ahead as if he barely noticed his brother, his thumb carving into the back of his other hand, his foot tapping restlessly on the hardwood floors.

“Hey,” Max said warily, closing his door.

“How was the museum?” Michael said in lieu of a greeting.

Max understood, closing the door. “Good. Great, actually, you don’t have to worry.” He sat down next to Michael with a sigh. “Isobel came with, he had a lot of fun.”

Michael dropped his head into his hands, his fingers tugging at his curls. “Great,” he said hoarsely.

Max stared a long moment, and his shoulders slumped. “Michael, you got to stop this. Just talk to Alex –”

“Stop it, Max,” he ground out.

Max shook his head. “What happened? I thought Saturdays were for you and Alex, why’d he call me?”

“I . . .” he growled and stood, kicking a dresser. Max said nothing as his brother paced the length of his room.

“It’s okay,” he finally said. “He couldn’t hate you, no matter what you –”

“You didn’t see his face,” he said. “I said – I can’t believe I . . . but it had to be done. I had to . . . he wouldn’t have called you otherwise.”

Max swallowed. He didn’t know why, but the idea that Alex wouldn’t have called him if Michael hadn’t pushed him to do it upset him more than it should.

“R-Right,” he said and cleared his throat. “Look, would you just sit down please?”

Michael sat down with a huff, his foot still tapping. Max gripped his knee firmly. “Hey,” he said. “I can tell you what he did.”

Michael nodded, eyes wide and afraid. “O-Okay. Yeah, okay.”

So Max told him everything, from the moment Alex had come over, to Isobel inviting herself along, to the museum trip, to the smoothies they had, to the beers. When he told Michael about offering to walk Alex home and Alex’s reaction, Michael didn’t look the least bit surprised. If anything, he looked angry all over again.

“Asshole,” he grumbled, rubbing his face with one hand.

“Hey,” Max said heatedly, “I tried to –”

“Not you,” Michael rolled his eyes. “Alex’s dad. Jesse Manes.” He sighed. “If he gets even a feeling that Alex might be dating a guy, he . . .” he shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does,” Max said, remembering the fear in Alex’s eyes when he had offered to walk him back. “Michael, he was freaked out –”

“I know,” Michael cut him off firmly. “Just . . . let it go, Max. There’s nothing you can do. Just don’t let his dad see you together. No matter what. Alex will be the one paying for it.”

Max swallowed, thinking. He had rarely seen Jesse Manes around town, knowing only that everyone admired him for his military service. Max had never had an opinion other than the fact that Jesse had seemed too cold to approach, but he was nothing like Alex.

With Alex he saw a warm light. With Jesse, there was none.

Nonetheless, he just nodded until Michael stopped looking worried about it, and brought in another pillow and blanket for his brother to sleep in his room.

When he laid there in bed, he pulled his phone out, scrolling mindlessly for fifteen minutes before he convinced himself that pulling Alex’s number was a good idea. He didn’t think he wanted to or should call, but . . .

Get home okay? he texted, and regretted it the second it sent.

“Shit,” he whispered, his eyes falling shut. Michael was asleep against the wall, snoring away. Max tapped the edge of the phone when he got no response, then shut it off, leaving it on his nightstand and not at all expecting a response. Then –

Ting!

Max swallowed and grabbed his phone.

Safe and sound, Alex’s message read.

He bit his lower lip, hesitated, then typed out, Good. Sweet dreams.

Now that was the one he regretted. Sweet dreams? He groaned, turning his face into the pillow and tossing the phone aside.

He stared at it from where it sat on the carpet, not expecting an answer, or maybe for Alex to make fun of him or tease him for it. Then the screen lit up and he almost fell off the bed.

You, too, Max.

It was stupid. It was so, unbelievably stupid, but a smile tugged at Max’s lips and a chuckle escaped before he even realized it had formed. He could almost hear Alex’s voice, soft and amused, saying his name. What if he thought Max was cute? Or kind? Or unique? What if he was just humoring Max’s ridiculousness? It didn’t matter. He hadn’t laughed at him, he hadn’t ignored him. It made Max smile.

“You really are good,” he murmured into the night. Michael slept on.

As soon as he woke up, Michael half-groggily reached for his phone, expecting to find texts and pictures that Alex had taken on their Saturday together. Just before he opened his screen to a single text and picture from Isobel, he remembered that he and Alex hadn’t actually spent any time yesterday with each other.

Michael deflated entirely, his phone in front of his face as he thoughtlessly clicked on the message. He sat up at once. It was a picture of Isobel taking a selfie with a begrudging Alex on her arm, laughing in that cute way he did when his nose was scrunched and his eyes narrowed.

He swallowed. This was supposed to be him and Alex yesterday. But what really caught his eyes was Max in the corner. He wasn’t looking at the camera, but at Alex, and the look in his eyes . . . the way he smiled . . .

Michael had never seen that before. He looked at Max, still sleeping soundly, and thought about this plan to bring his best friend and brother together.

His thumb tapped the edge of his phone. He wasn’t bringing them together. He was just diverting Alex’s affections for a second. And then Max would go after Liz, the person he actually wanted, and all of this would be over.

Max doesn’t have a crush on Alex, he told his half-asleep mind, trying to calm himself down as he stepped out of bed. He doesn’t.

Then for no reason at all, Michael typed out a text to Alex, asking him to meet in the park nearby. Max murmured something in his sleep, and Michael snapped out of his thoughts. He pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. What was he doing? He was so close now. He couldn’t stop this.

So he fixed his text. He asked Alex to meet both him and Max. Alex took an entire half hour to answer, and Michael knew he was an early riser, so he tried not to feel panicked that his best friend might be too angry to respond, and when the text came that Alex would need twenty minutes to get there, some relief settled in Michael’s chest and he went to wake Max.

“Huh?” Max sat up, alert, his eyes still closed. “What – what’s happening?”

“Get up,” Michael said with a heaviness and unwillingness he forced himself to push aside. “We’re going to see Alex.”

Alex swung back and forth on the swing, his phone clutched tightly in his hand, waiting for any other word from Michael. He was convincing himself that he was excited to see him, but the memory of his words yesterday had gone from the back of his mind to the forefront, and he couldn’t help but still feel hurt that he’d been dismissed so easily.

“I’m just trying to have a little fun here. Am I supposed to turn down a hot girl for you?”

Alex’s fingers gripped the swing’s chains tightly, his eyes burning. Like Alex was some nuisance, a second thought. He’d never imagined those words leaving Michael’s lips. He’d never imagined Michael, of all people, making him feel so . . . unwanted.

Then, before he could help it, his thoughts wandered to Max. Max, who had hurried him away from the large mansion only because he was terrified his sister would scare him away. Who had been eager to get Alex’s opinion on every painting, sculpture, and relic, and actually listened when he spoke. He’d never been able to speak to strangers so easily, but sometimes it was hard to remember that that was what Max was supposed to be. It was just so easy to talk to him . . . and so easy to forget the bad things around him . . .

Alex shook himself of those thoughts. What was wrong with him? Max was just a cuddly teddy bear, someone who had helped out once when Michael was too busy. No matter what he said or confessed to, he’d get bored and tired of the chase soon enough. He’d get bored and tired of Alex, just like everyone else did.

When he looked up, he saw Michael first, and started to stand. Then he saw Max, and his shoulders fell.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he murmured, and heaved a sigh as he sat back down. He wasn’t going to just run back into Michael’s arms when his schedule allowed him to remember they were supposed to be best friends. Ruining the only day they might’ve had alone was the final straw.

“Hey,” Michael smiled wide, and Alex’s heart started to flutter. It made him want to cry. It was so unfair, especially when he knew that Michael used that smile on every pretty girl he saw. Until yesterday, Alex had believed he was different.

Alex ignored Michael’s greeting and glanced at Max instead, who was sleepily rubbing his eyes. Alex faltered. Had Max gotten out of bed just to see him? The thought made him soften. It wasn’t fair, after all, to blame Max for Michael’s behavior.

“Hi, Max,” he said, and Max blinked, clearly surprised at being spoken to.

He put his hands in his pockets and cleared his throat. “Uh – hey, Alex.” Another glance at Michael. “Y-You look nice.”

Maybe Max was waiting for Michael to approve of this compliment, to tell him how smooth he was being with his crush, but Michael’s eyes were focused on Alex, his expression solemn.

Max seemed to sense the tension because he exhaled slowly and pointed at the swing next to Alex’s. “That swing taken?”

Alex couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at the corner of his lips, no matter how brief, and he shook his head. Max took the swing and swung back and forth as if nobody else was there.

“Come on, Alex,” Michael murmured, kneeling in front of him. “If this is about yesterday –”

“If it’s about yesterday?” Alex scoffed humorlessly. “Who are you, and what have you done with my best friend?”

Michael looked hurt. “That – that’s not fair.”

“No?” Alex shook his head. “Saturdays are supposed to be ours, Guerin, and you treated me like some brat you had to put up with!”

“I didn’t –” Michael’s mouth opened and closed on several sentences, seemingly appalled at the idea. “Alex, I just –”

In a voice too quiet for Max to hear, Alex said, “You invited Maria. Was that just to hurt me?”

His eyes widened. “No!”

“Did I –” Alex faltered. “Did I do something to piss you off, or –”

“Alex!” Michael couldn’t seem to believe that Alex would go down that road.

Alex clenched his jaw. “Well, what was I supposed to think? I can’t believe you would even talk to her again after what she did to me! I –” he broke off with a shaky sigh, looking away from Michael and Max to keep them from seeing the tears fill his eyes. “I thought you were my friend.”

“Don’t say that,” Michael said hoarsely, taking Alex’s hand in his. Alex hated the shivers it sent down his body. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I – I just knew that it hurt losing a friend like that, and I thought that it would make you feel better if – if I could fix it –”

“The only person in the world I care about losing is you,” Alex argued, and Michael said nothing for a moment. Alex realized his mistake at once, and he looked down, his face heated. “I thought I was losing you yesterday. I thought you’d . . . forgiven her for what she’d done. Like my feelings didn’t matter as much as a pretty girl.”

A moment of silence. Even the creaking of Max’s swing had stopped. Then Michael tugged on his hand.

“No one . . .” Michael started and abruptly cut himself off. Alex looked back at him to see his expression was conflicted. Before Alex could ask what was wrong, what had been wrong with him lately, Michael forced a smile to his lips. It was a play at his usual light one without any of the lightness.

“You know the fair’s going on until next week,” he said. “Why don’t – uh – why don’t we go together? Tomorrow? Just you and me?”

Alex should’ve been thrilled at the idea, but something . . . something was off. Michael looked like he was more miserable at asking for it, and Max was looking at them strangely solemn.

Realization dawned. Michael was hesitant to go out with Alex alone when he knew his brother had feelings for him. Alex glanced at Max again. He would’ve preferred to be on his own with Michael, but the idea of going with Max didn’t seem so bad either.

He internally sighed. “Max,” he turned to him, “why don’t you come with us?”

Max raised a brow. Michael stopped pretending to smile and his brows furrowed. Alex didn’t understand. Wasn’t this what he’d wanted?

Then Max smiled, and Alex’s attention was caught. “Yeah? You really want me to come?”

Warmth bloomed in Alex’s chest, and something like a breath of relief escaped his lips, his first real breath since he’d gotten Michael’s text to meet. Maybe Max would get tired of the chase, but . . . better to get the inevitable over with sooner than later, right?

“I mean, if you want to,” Alex played at a shrug. Max chuckled and looked down.

He nodded. “Yeah, yes, I do.”

Alex realized he and Max were just staring at each other. He blushed and looked back at Michael, expecting to see him overjoyed. But his smile was tighter than ever.

“Great,” Michael said. “That’s just . . . perfect. Exactly what I was hoping for.”

“Okay,” Max plopped down on the bed, feeling filled up on lunch and something else he’d been feeling since Alex had invited him along with them to the fair tomorrow. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Michael sniffed roughly, replacing his jacket with another one of his own that he’d left in Max’s closet. “It’s all going according to plan, right?”

“Yeah,” Max nodded, “so why do you look like you’re two seconds away from clocking me?”

“What?” Michael looked over his shoulder with pursed lips, without actually looking at Max. “I’m not. It’s great, right? He invited you all by himself.”

Max smiled to himself at the thought. “Yeah,” he said, his voice soft to his own ears.

Michael finally met Max’s eyes for a long while, studying his expression. Then he turned, smiling with narrowed eyes. “Are you . . . you’re not . . .?”

Max raised a brow, waiting for his brother to elaborate.

“You’re not . . . starting to actually like Alex, are you?”

Max’s eyes widened and he scoffed. He started to say that he absolutely wasn’t when he caught himself. He thought of Alex’s kind eyes and his laugh and the hurt in his voice when Michael ignored him. He thought Alex had had enough people dismissing him behind his back.

“Of course I like him,” he said. “He’s nice, you know? There’s nothing wrong with him.”

“Yeah,” Michael said with a nod, as if reassuring himself. “Yeah, I mean . . . you like him like you like Kyle, right?”

Max hesitated. “Michael . . . do you like Alex?”

“I love Alex,” he said at once. “Just not like that.”

No, Max silently agreed. Not like that. Michael’s feelings seemed more . . . possessive, though he didn’t want to talk about things he wasn’t sure of. All he knew was that Michael wanted Alex to himself. He didn’t know how to tell him that that wouldn’t work with the plan.

“I’m sure he just brought me along because he felt bad for me,” Max placated, though the idea made him want to curl up on his bed. “You know, you did bring me along for no reason.”

“No,” Michael said with that same forced lightness, turning back to his clothes. “No, this is good. Like I said, it’s great! Alex is starting to want you along. The plan is working perfectly.”

“Yeah,” Max muttered, noticing the way Michael roughly tugged his sleeves down. “Perfectly.”

“This is a bad idea,” Kyle said as soon as Alex had called to tell him his plans for tonight. “I think you’re forgiving him way too easily.”

Alex’s phone sat on speaker on his nightstand. He sighed, fixing his hair so that it looked less like he’d walked through a hurricane, but the strands remained windswept and messy and he gave up.

“He made a mistake,” Alex said for what felt like the millionth time. “Everyone makes mistakes.”

“Not that kind of mistake!” Kyle argued, his frustration evident. “Alex, he invited Maria!” Alex flinched at the name and was glad his friend couldn’t see him. “That’s like if I invited Jared!”

“Jared Wilson is a homophobic ass,” Alex argued at once, and calmed the edge in his voice. “It’s not the same thing.”

“Both of them made life a lot harder for you when they realized you were gay.”

To that, Alex had no response. He didn’t care. He loved Michael, and being angry with him felt wrong. He didn’t want it.

He sat on his bed’s edge and played with the buttons on his black cardigan. It was new, something he wanted to wait to wear until he and Michael were alone, because Michael always liked hugging Alex as they walked and clinging to his side, and Alex had wanted Michael to feel soft and warm when he hugged him. It should bother him that he did so much of what he did with the worry of how Michael will take it, even though they’re not dating and could probably never date, but every so often, that traitorous bit of hope would claw its way to the surface and tell him that it could still happen.

Maybe all it took was Michael knowing how he felt. It didn’t matter. Alex could never do it.

“I don’t want to lose him,” he said quietly. Kyle didn’t answer. Alex half-wished that he hadn’t heard him, but he doubted it.

Finally, Kyle sighed and said, “I know.” A pause, then, “What about Max?”

Alex blinked. “Max?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Seems like he really likes you.”

Alex wanted to scoff, but what left his lips instead was, “Yeah?” Kyle chuckled and Alex blushed. “N-Not that I care! I just don’t want to get his hopes up for nothing.”

He hummed. Alex hated how he could hear the amusement in his voice. “Okay, well,” he said, “don’t count him out just yet.”

Alex was about to retort when a door suddenly slammed outside his bedroom. He heard the heavy footsteps of hunting boots and swallowed thickly. He tried to keep his light voice as he turned off his speaker and held the phone up, “Hey, I-I’ll see you at school, okay?”

“Uh –” Kyle was clearly thrown off by the sudden change in conversation. “Sure, but are you –”

Before he could finish his question, Alex hung up and put his phone aside. Then he caught himself in the mirror. His eyeliner. He was already wearing it.

“Fuck,” he breathed.

His heart hammered in his throat as the footsteps stopped outside his room and the door swung open. His father stood there.

“Did I hear you talking to a boy?” he demanded.

“N-No,” Alex said at once, cursing his stammering. “I mean, yes, but it was just Kyle.”

Jesse hummed. Alex’s heart sunk into his stomach when Jesse closed the door behind him and stayed inside.

“Dad,” he started, “really, I was just –”

“Come here,” Jesse said with a wave of his fingers. When Alex didn’t move, Jesse fixed his son with his cold blue eyes. “Alex, come here.”

Alex swallowed and resisted the urge to cower away. If his father hated disobedience, he hated a coward more. So Alex marched up to him swiftly as he was trained to do, his shoulders straight despite his lowered eyes, and the second he was close enough, Jesse grabbed his face in one hand, his grip painful.

“What is that,” he said coldly, “on your eyes?”

Alex clenched his jaw, trying not to whimper even as his dad’s hand nearly broke his jaw. Even as he knew what was coming. Not for the first time, as his fingers trembled on his dad’s wrist, he wished Michael could be here to protect him.

Max was in Alex’s class, and it was rare that a Manes was late, but Alex didn’t show up until halfway through the first lecture. He had a black sweater on with a collar that hid most of his chin and long sleeves that fell past his fingers, despite the fairly warm weather. His arms were stiff at his side, and his eyeliner was smudged a little bit.

The math teacher said nothing to his most brilliant student about being late, and just gestured at him to take a seat. Max lifted his head off his desk and tried to catch Alex’s eyes, but Alex was staring straight ahead.

Liz turned around in her seat, her brows furrowed. Max didn’t hear her murmurs, but whatever she said, Alex merely nodded once in response, his smile small. Liz didn’t look reassured, and Max realized he was inching out of his seat.

“Yes, Mr. Evans?” the teacher said.

“Uh – nothing, sir,” Max said and sat back down. “Sorry.”

Some of the other students snickered, but Max didn’t care, because at least Liz was looking at him. He swallowed and pointed at Alex, the silent message clear. Liz nudged Alex’s arm softly and gestured with her chin at Max. Alex looked over.

Max didn’t know what to do but raise his hand in a little wave. Alex just looked away again, his shoulders scrunched as he almost folded in on himself. He looked out the window and didn’t seem to pay attention to another word of the lecture.

Max tried to catch Alex in the hall in between classes, to ask him if he was all right, but Alex just shrunk away from him.

“I’m fine,” he muttered.

“Alex, wait a second,” Max tried, instinctively reaching for his wrist.

He’d barely touched him when Alex flinched away. “Don’t do that!” he snapped, making the entire hallway of students stop and turn to stare. Alex looked furious and terrified all at once. “Don’t ever, ever grab me!”

Max stood frozen with his hand outstretched, stunned, and the hall filled with a heavy, tense silence. Alex didn’t seem to care. He kept glaring at Max a moment longer, his breathing quick like he was on the verge of crying, and he whipped around to where a startled and concerned Liz was ready to guide him away.

Murmurs broke out over the crowd, and Max heard more than a few people call Alex a number of things, all ranging from “freak” to “psycho,” before they came to check that Max was okay after that outburst. Max could only be offended.

Alex was clearly suffering with something, didn’t anyone notice or care?

When Max got to lunch, Isobel was already standing. She looked as she rarely did; her bright smile gone, replaced with a solemn frown. “Hey,” she tugged Max down as soon as she caught sight of him. “What happened with Alex in the hallway? Rosa said he suddenly started screaming at you?”

Max shook his head. “Something’s wrong with him,” he said.

Isobel’s frown deepened. “Hey, don’t say that, you don’t know what could be –”

“No,” Max cut her off, indignant that she could assume he meant the worst. “I mean, something’s wrong with him, like something must’ve happened. He’s usually a lot nicer. And he showed up late. He never shows up late.”

Isobel rubbed her jaw as she looked over at Alex’s table where both Liz and Kyle were encouraging him to eat something, the concern evident on their faces.

“I mean, it’s not exactly new, right?” she muttered. “He’s freaked out like this before.”

Max pursed his lips. Alex had seemed so excited yesterday when Michael had asked him to the fair. What could’ve happened from then till now? Had Michael done something? No, he would’ve warned Max.

Then he remembered something Michael had told him about Jesse Manes . . .

His shoulders fell. “Shit.”

Isobel seemed to realize he’d figured it out, and eagerly asked, “What? What is it?”

Max hesitated. “You can’t tell anyone. I mean, not even the Ortechos. No one, Isobel.”

“My lips are sealed,” she quickly promised.

Max licked his lips. “Well, remember how nervous he was when I offered to walk him home the other night?”

“Yeah?”

“Michael told me about his dad,” he said. “Apparently, he really, really doesn’t want his son to be gay.”

Isobel’s eyes widened with horror. “Alex is scared of his dad?”

“He’s wearing long sleeves, and he’s sweating through it,” Max said darkly by way of saying what he didn’t want to outright.

Isobel gasped. “You think he . . . hits him?”

Max shook his head, not wanting to believe that Alex had that kind of father, but . . . “I’ve never heard Michael so unnerved by someone outside of his foster parents.”

“Oh my god,” Isobel whispered, her wide, glassy eyes turning to Alex who was sitting slumped in his chair as if allowing himself a few seconds to stop pretending he was fine. “Oh my god,” she started to stand, to go over to him, but Max grabbed her arm and sat her back down.

“Don’t,” he warned. “Michael didn’t want to tell me, and I doubt Alex wants anyone to know.”

“He’s beating him!” Isobel whisper-yelled through grit teeth. “We – we have to tell somebody!”

“Not if Alex doesn’t want us to,” Max argued.

“Max!”

“He has brothers,” Max said, and Isobel fell silent. “The last thing Alex needs right now is for the only family he has to hate him because they think he told on their dad. Not if Alex doesn’t want us to.”

Isobel clenched her jaw, her eyes miserable, and she nodded. It was clearly the last thing she wanted to do.

“I don’t know how you can bear it,” she breathed, looking over to Alex like she wanted nothing more than to hug and protect him. “He’s so sweet, I don’t know how you can bear it.”

Isobel, of course, couldn’t see Max’s clenched, trembling fists beneath the table as he watched Alex start to eat despite himself, start to smile like he was so used to the beatings that he’d learned to work past them after a while, wondering the exact same thing.

Technically, Michael’s official house was an airstream at the junkyard where old man Sanders had let him stay while he had a part time job after school. Max wished Alex hadn’t known the whole story because then at least, as they went together to the auto shop, Max would have something to say instead of wallowing in the awkward silence between them.

In fact, awkward wasn’t really the right word. Heavy seemed more appropriate.

The weather was cooling quickly, making it more bearable for Alex’s sweater. Max half-wondered what Alex would do if he reached down and looked for his fingers underneath the sleeves.

“I’m sorry,” Alex mumbled, and Max snapped out of his thoughts. Alex had said nothing on the drive over, nodding quietly in thanks when Max had offered to drive him as they were both going together, but his eyes were on the ground now.

He looked so shy for once that Max was caught off guard.

“Huh?”

“For yelling at you,” he went on, even more quiet. “I didn’t mean to . . . I just don’t like . . .”

“Being grabbed,” Max finished. He stopped, and Alex did the same. “Alex, I would never hurt you, okay? I wouldn’t.”

Alex wouldn’t look at Max, but Max could see his breathing getting quicker, his jaw clenching tighter and tighter.

“What did Michael tell you?”

Max tried to school his features. “Nothing.”

He was sure Alex would snap at him, would turn right around and cut off his friendship with both him and Michael. Instead, he scoffed wearily. “You’re just as bad a liar as he is.”

Raising his chin and pretending that it didn’t cause him pain to fix the bag on his shoulder, Alex forged on ahead. “I don’t need anyone’s pity.”

Max followed in silence, but only for a minute. “My mom knows someone in the state council, I could talk to her –”

Alex whipped around, his eyes wide and terrified. “Don’t! You can’t, Max, please, don’t ever –”

“Okay!” Max took Alex’s hands to calm him. He was rambling, his fingers shaking. “Okay, I – I won’t, Alex, calm down.” When Alex had been reduced to a trembling figure, Max pulled him in gently against him. “I won’t tell, I promise. Just calm down, okay? Please, calm down.”

Max’s chin was on Alex’s head. He had a hand in Alex’s hair – it was so much softer than he could’ve imagined – his other hand running up and down his back, trying not to scare him again with any sudden movements.

“It’s just me,” Alex croaked out against Max’s chest. “It’s only me. Because I’m . . .” He shook his head. “He doesn’t hurt them. They – they don’t care about enlisting. They’re happy to do it. I don’t want to ruin their lives, please –”

“Okay,” Max whispered into Alex’s hair. He smelled like vanilla. “Okay, Alex, it’s okay. I won’t tell, I promise. I promise.”

They stood there like that for a long time, Max’s fingers raking through Alex’s hair, taking in the way each strand felt against his fingers. He felt the strong muscles of Alex’s back even through his sweater. He couldn’t help it. Everything about Alex was a mystery, and the more he uncovered, the more he wanted to know.

A breath escaped his lips, and Alex tensed. He stepped back, unwilling to look at Max, his face tinged pink.

“S-Sorry,” he murmured.

Max nodded, putting his hands in his back pockets to keep from reaching out for him again. “Me, too. It’s – uh . . . been a long couple of days.”

Alex sighed, rubbing his face with one hand. Max resisted the urge to ask how bad the pain was underneath the sweater, but if he was being honest, he didn’t think either of them wanted the answer to that question. So he nudged his head towards Michael’s trailer, and waited for Alex to lead the way.

“What’s your favorite fair treat?” Max asked before they could get to the door. He didn’t know why, but he wanted just a few more seconds before Michael joined them.

“What?”

“Fair treat,” he repeated. “You know, they sell a lot of snacks at fairs. They’ll be selling a lot tonight. Which one do you like best?”

“Uh . . .” Alex thought about it. “Cotton candy? I guess? The, you know, big swirls?”

“Okay,” Max nodded, grinning. “Then I’ll buy you the biggest swirl they have.”

Alex’s eyes widened and he turned pinker. It was so cute that Max had to giggle.

“I have my own money.”

“So?” Max shrugged. “I want to get you something. I thought about winning you a prize during one of the games, but that feels a little cliché, you know?”

Alex opened and closed his mouth on several sentences, and Max wondered if Michael had ever offered to buy him anything with the promise that it meant something more.

Alex looked away with a shake of his head. “You’re silly,” he muttered, and opened the door, climbing inside.

Max followed, still grinning. They found Michael dressed and looking for the keys to his truck.

“Hey!” Alex said a little breathlessly. “You ready to go?”

Michael froze, looking over his shoulder. Max’s smile fell at once. Oh no . . .

“Crap,” he said, sounding genuinely apologetic. “Crap, we said we were going to the fair tonight!”

Another act, Max thought. “Michael,” he said quietly, a private warning, “today really isn’t the day to –”

“I don’t get it,” Alex cut him off, his brows furrowed. “If you – if you forgot about the fair tonight, then why’re you in such a hurry to leave?”

Michael shrugged, glanced at Max, and said, “I have a date.”

Alex was silent a moment. “You . . . have a date.”

“Yeah.”

“But –” Alex shook his head. “The fair was your idea. Why’d you ask me to come with you if you knew you were going to be busy?”

“I didn’t know when I asked you,” Michael said, and Alex stared. Despite his hidden fingers, Max did not miss the way they curled to fists.

“So you –” Alex cut himself off abruptly, smiling incredulously, like he couldn’t believe his other half had stooped so low. “You made plans with someone else when you already had plans with me?”

“Alex,” he huffed, exasperated. “Are you gonna get like this every time I’m meeting someone? A very attractive friend asked me out tonight, I said yes.”

“But you’re my friend, too,” Alex argued. “When we make promises to each other, we’re supposed to follow through on them, it shouldn’t matter if you have a ton of friends or not.”

“Well, it’s not my fault you don’t have any friends, Alex.”

“Michael!” Max stepped forward, but Alex held a hand up. He didn’t look tense or frozen to the spot. He looked like every horrible thought that had ever crossed his mind about his friendship with Michael, every doubt that had ever haunted him, every fear of being unwanted or not good enough, it was all coming true.

To Alex, Michael didn’t consider him worth anything.

To Alex, Michael wasn’t protecting their friendship. He was shattering it beyond repair.

He looked resigned and exhausted. Michael seemed to realize that too late.

“W-Wait,” he tried, “I didn’t – I didn’t mean –”

“You’re my friend,” Alex quietly defended. “You’re . . . you’re my . . .” He shook his head, like it didn’t matter anymore. He turned to Max. “D-Do you – uh – do you still want to come with me? To the – the fair?”

He was clearly terrified, clearly unwilling to go at all if Michael didn’t want to, but wanting to prove that he was unhurt. That he wouldn’t break. Max was in awe of his courage.

“I was just going to ask you the same thing,” Max said.

A brief, barely-there smile tugged at Alex’s lips before it was gone. Without another word or glance at Michael, he left. Michael stared at the open door like he wasn’t even in the room, like he was numb and out of body. He’d gone too far this time.

Max shook his head. “You were so terrified that he was in love with you . . . that you decided to make him hate you instead.”

“I told you,” Michael said hoarsely, his eyes filling with tears. “He’ll only hate me for a little bit.”

“And you’re willing to bet on that?” Max tilted his head. He promised Alex he wouldn’t tell anyone else what his father had done to him, but he leaned in anyway and said, “Because if I were you, I would think a little harder instead about why he’s wearing such a long sweater near the end of spring.”

And with those final words, Max turned and left, catching only the realization in Michael’s eyes before he shut the door behind him. Alex was already in the car, hugging his arms and staring out the window.

Max got in and shut the door. He exhaled slowly, “Alex –”

“Just drive,” Alex said hoarsely, like he’d been crying for hours though his eyes were dry. “Please just drive.”

Max swallowed and turned on the ignition. He didn’t want to be a hero here. He didn’t feel like one. The only reason Michael had hurt Alex this badly at all was so that he could swoop in. But this seemed like too high a cost.

It didn’t matter in the end. Max did as Alex wanted, and drove.

The fairy lights were already strung up when Max and Alex got to the fair, plenty of booths already up with lanterns lighting the way, showering everything in gold. It looked more like a market with a few chances for the kids to win toys, but Max watched as Alex eyed each booth and necklace and dress like they were the only good parts of a bad memory.

“My mom used to bring us here a lot,” he said, “back when she was around.”

“When did she die?” Max asked quietly.

“She didn’t,” Alex said simply. “She left. But this fair . . . it’s my favorite time of the year. Michael knew that.”

“Alex,” Max shook his head. “I’m sure . . . I’m sure he had a reason for what he did.”

Alex scoffed, but the press of his lips was both sad and sincere. “I know he did. But god, what could be worth all this?” he gestured at his own face, the exhaustion and misery there. “I can usually read him, but this time I just . . . can’t. I hate not knowing.”

Max thought about that, and realized he was the same way when it had to do with someone he loved. How was he going to save someone who didn’t want to be saved?

“Tell me something you do know,” he offered. “You said your brothers are happy to enlist. Does your dad make them all?”

“No,” Alex sniffled. “No, dad would never make any of us enlist. He pushes it hard, and all the time, but . . . no, if you don’t want to enlist, then just don’t bother coming back home, you know?”

Max hesitated. “Have you ever . . .?”

He expected Alex to laugh it off or be indignant about anyone even considering that he would ever enlist, but he only sighed and confessed, “Sometimes.”

Max stared. “S-Seriously?”

Alex shook his head, smiling, and for once, he didn’t look sarcastic or amused. He just looked sad. “You don’t know what it’s like there. Or how bad it gets, and – and sometimes I think . . . I couldn’t afford a place of my own. I could escape him though. I could rise in ranks, I could beat him –”

“Beat him some other way!” Max argued, and a few heads turned to look. Alex didn’t look like he cared, he never did, but Max stepped closer. “You can’t enlist, Alex.”

Alex looked away. “I said I thought about it, okay? Only when things get really, really bad. It doesn’t mean I’ll do it. I’ll find some other way.”

He didn’t sound sure, but Max couldn’t have been more sure of his abilities and talent. Alex was the strongest and smartest person he knew, he could easily make it out there. And what if . . . what if he had Max there with him? Supporting him? Helping him? The two of them together in a small apartment in New York or something –

Max shut his eyes. He wasn’t supposed to think like that. This wasn’t supposed to be long-term. Soon enough, Michael would tell him the truth, and it would all be over. Alex might even hate him for it. He didn’t want to think about that though, so he bought Alex the biggest blue cotton candy swirl, got one for himself, and laughed with Alex about the sizes.

About an hour in, Alex seemed to really be having a lot of fun. He was laughing at Max’s stupid jokes and tugging on his arm to show him little ceramic toys for sale and even a small aquamarine necklace that glittered in the moonlight with a gold chain so thin it was almost a silk thread.

When Alex wasn’t looking, Max bought the necklace, and snuck up behind him, letting it rest in the dip of his collarbone.

“W-What –”

“For you,” Max said.

Alex touched the stone, still stunned. “Max, I’m not – I’m uncomfortable accepting so many gifts from people.”

“I’m not just people though,” Max said simply. “I’m your . . .” he caught himself, “f-friend.”

Alex looked at him. Max may have been wrong, but he could’ve sworn Alex had seemed disappointed for a moment at the use of the word friend.

“R-Right,” he murmured. “Still, no more gifts, okay?”

“No promises,” Max grinned, and his heart jumped when Alex’s face turned that same shade of pink. He was starting to wonder if he could turn it any darker when Alex glanced up and froze.

“Oh my god,” he breathed.

“What?” Max followed his gaze, and understood what it was that had terrified him. Making their way towards them was some man in uniform, and beside him was Jesse Manes, hands folded behind his back with his medals shining on his uniform jacket, smiling at booths and laughing with children who ran past.

That, Max realized, was the most frightening part. Who would believe Alex if he told them their beloved sergeant was a monster?

Alex stepped back, already trembling. He turned, but the crowd had gathered around them. Even if he stood in the shadows outside the lanterns’ light, he was still visible to anyone passing by, especially if his dad was looking through the booths. He would see Alex here, and just the implication that he was here with Max would get him hurt again.

Alex hugged himself. “Think, Alex,” he whispered to himself, looking around frantically for a hiding spot. “Think.”

Max looked back at Jesse. He was getting closer. He couldn’t stand seeing the usually intimidating Alex so frightened now. He had to protect him.

He took Alex’s hand in his own and pulled him into the shadows, up against a booth. “Is your dad uncomfortable with PDA?”

“What?”

“Is he?”

“Uh – yeah!” Alex shook his head, confused. “He hates it –”

“Good,” Max breathed, taking Alex’s face in his hands, and before Alex could ask what he was doing, Max closed the distance between them and covered Alex’s mouth with his own. Alex stood frozen against him, but Max wouldn’t pull away, his body blocking Alex’s from sight.

Half of him was silently urging Alex to play along, if only long enough to get his father’s attention away, but as Alex whimpered softly against his lips, his body melting against Max’s, his hands coming up to Max’s chest, clutching his shirt, Max suddenly forgot all about Jesse Manes.

He forgot about the fair, he forgot about the booths around him, the crowd of people. He couldn’t think of anything but how soft Alex’s lips were, how perfectly he fit in Max’s arms. Max wanted to taste more of him, so he slipped his tongue in. Alex moaned, pressing unbearably close, and Max could feel him. His toned chest, his flat stomach.

Max had never wanted to feel another man’s chest until this moment, to claw down his stomach, to feel the muscles of his back. Max tilted his head, bringing his hand around the nape of Alex’s neck and reaching his fingers through his hair, tugging a little on the strands.

Alex’s hands came up to Max’s face, one hand reaching into his hair. Max wanted to tilt his head, to deepen the kiss, to put his hands up Alex’s shirt and feel his skin. He wondered if it was as sexy as the rest of him – he knew it had to be – and his hand had just fallen to Alex’s hip, tugging at the hem of his sweater, when he heard someone behind him scoff –

“Ugh, disgusting,” a voice said, and Max snapped out of his thoughts.

He pulled away, pressing his forehead to Alex’s, the both of them panting heavily. Alex’s eyes were closed, and Max took the opportunity to trace his deeply red cheeks with the tips of his fingers, his rosy, kiss-swollen lips.

“Wow,” he breathed.

“Yeah,” Alex swallowed and opened his eyes. They fluttered again as Max traced his thumb across his lips for the second time. “That – that was –”

“Wow,” Max finished.

Alex huffed a breathless chuckle. “Are you okay?”

Max shook his head. “Wow.”

Alex started to laugh, but seemed to remember they were supposed to be hiding. He covered his mouth with his hand, his eyes wide. Max wanted to hear his laugh, so he looked over his shoulder for any sign of Alex’s dad, but he was so far down the path that by the time Max had tilted his chin up to get a better look, Jesse Manes and his friend were completely gone.

When he nodded to Alex, Alex’s grin widened and he laughed happily into the night. He jumped into Max’s arms, his own wrapped around Max’s shoulders.

“Thank you!” Alex said into his shoulder, his voice muffled and filling Max’s chest with butterflies. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” He heaved a deep sigh, probably the deepest he’d had in a while. “Thank you, Max.”

Max wrapped his arms around Alex’s waist, keeping him close and steady against him. In the back of his mind, he could hear Michael’s one, big warning about Alex.

“Don’t kiss him.”

But now, in this moment, as he could still feel Alex’s soft, warm lips against his own, as he could hear his moans and smell his sweet scent, he couldn’t remember why.

He smiled into the crook of Alex’s neck and said, “You’re welcome, Manes.”

It’s finally here! Please please please comment and reblog/share if you enjoyed reading even a little bit, it always makes the world of a difference 💗 I’m going to bed.

#alex manes #max evans #sheriff manes #sheriff manes fic #roswell new mexico #roswell nm #tyler blackburn #nathan dean parsons

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galacticlamps · 3 years

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im sorry im sorry im sorry i know it’s been well over a year but i accidentally thought about Short Trips: Deleted Scenes (again) and it’s killing me (again) so i think im just gonna go ahead and post all these stupid thoughts that have been plaguing me about it since i first heard it & maybe that’ll help clear up some space in my head for like, real life things.

Spoilers I guess? It’s like a year and a half old but also high key the most recent 2nd doctor content i believe we’ve gotten which is like, the only negative thing I can say about it

The TLDR version is this:

I literally cant believe how sweet it is? Painful, but sweet. Like. I don’t honestly know what’s more likely - did they set out to write Jamie a nice little straight love interest and just fail miserably at it by constantly likening her to the Doctor AND paralleling the Doctor’s perspective with her ex’s AND putting Jamie’s relationships with both of them in direct tension with each other while constantly letting his with the Doctor win out?

OR - did they do a very 1960s thing and say hey we’re gonna write what’s essentially a story about how much Jamie and the Doctor love each other and release it on Valentine’s Day thinly disguised as a one-off romance with a french lady?

Now, as a general rule, my attitude toward questions like that is usually “don’t know, don’t care, doesn’t matter” - and while I 100% stand by that, I also have to admit that this particular audio seems to pay enough attention to detail that I’d kind of think I was selling it short if I assumed too many of these things were just meaningless coincidences, you know?

Anyway, that’s the most coherent/overarching thought. And here’s a disorganized list of things I absolutely cannot get over about it (they don’t form any kind of argument, mind, they just all happen to live rent free in my head):

- Celine is first taken in by Jamie being an idiot (specifically him claiming not to speak French, in perfect French); likewise, her entrance in the scene where they actually kiss is marked with a little anecdote about her hat getting stuck on a doornail and her scolding it as she attempts to fix her un-tameable appearance, and the narration says Celine “would often clown for Jamie like this” - all of which, while undeniably adorable, don’t exactly strike me as entirely original traits to have been assigned to Jamie’s love-interest (but also Celine is so cool and her perspective on film/media/time is an excellent addition to the long list of dr who characters)

- When they’re in the present, describing Jamie’s relationship with Celine in 1908, they call him her “companion” and highlight his going nearly everywhere with her, which earns a laugh from the 4th doctor (and me as well, though probably for slightly different reasons - but like, is that really all it takes to have a fling with someone in 60′s era who? bc if so...)

- Celine’s ex-fiance is still in love with her and is jealously watching when she kisses Jamie ... and then the Doctor appears beside him, evidently doing the exact. same. thing. They have the following conversation:

“You know, it’s not prudent to spy on people. But then, people in pain can’t be expected to act prudently.”

“Pain, monsieur? You mistake me.”

“Ah, do I? Good, because I rather thought you’d lost something.”

“What would you know about loss monsieur?”

- I’m sorry doc but who do you think you are, saying stuff like that and smiling sadly at the floor to boot? I 100% had to pause it here the first time I listened, just to not throw my laptop across the room.

- Then when I recovered continued, the Doctor closes the door so they can’t watch anymore and explains “Possessing things comes so terribly easily to some men that losing them can feel cruel, intolerably cruel. In my experience, only the very best of men cannot be tempted to answer that cruelty with more - I do sincerely hope that you are the best of men.” (guess who gets described as the best of men by the end of the audio?)

- Jamie and the Doctor apparently develop a habit of walking along the river in Paris in silence

- During one such walk, Jamie suggests Celine come with them since she already figured out about the Tardis - and when the Doctor’s worried by this, he says he only allowed Jamie & Celine to grow closer “because of Victoria.” Jamie takes offense at the ‘allowing it’ comment and also refuses to admit he knows what the Doctor means about Victoria, which leads the Doctor to say that he knows how fond Jamie was of her - he was too, of course, but with him, “it was different, wasn’t it?” Jamie only says maybe that’s true and maybe that’s not, but his voice catches until he changes the subject

- Jamie doesn’t see Celine for days both times that she’s recovering from the shock and depression of her work being destroyed. In contrast, when the Doctor’s not well, Jamie’s "afraid” and “guilty” and hardly seems to leave his side at all, if his being there “rushing to embrace him” the second he wakes up - after a period Jamie describes as “at least a week” - is anything to go by, anyway. so either bf writers need to learn how to write a committed straight relationship or admit that’s not what they ever intended in the first place

- Oh yeah, and the Doctor spends that week "asleep” in Jamie’s bedroom - no, there’s no explanation as to if that’s where he was when he first collapsed or if it’s where Jamie decided to take him bc why would they feel the need to explain him being there? why was it even relevant to tell us it was Jamie’s room in the first place?

- The Doctor somehow manages to control the Tardis enough to take Celine on one trip to an alien planet and then return to the correct time & place for her to use the footage she recorded there in her new film - and while the audio doesn’t do very much to explain how that was possible, it does treat this as A Pretty Big Deal, and immediately afterward the Doctor has to spend a week communing with his past self (and/or the Tardis?) debating how likely it is that the Time Lords could use this to trace him. When he decides it’s not worth the risk and they have to stop the film from ever being shown to the public, Jamie asks why he agreed to it in the first place, and all he can say is “Because, Jamie, you asked me to!” earning awkward stares from the crowd.

- Oh, but, lest we forget, that little outburst is also immediately followed by him putting his arm around Jamie’s shoulders, and, shockingly, apparently beginning to actually explain the truth about the danger from the Time Lords - until they’re interrupted, of course idk why exactly but the idea of a 60s dr wanting to come clean with a companion but not being allowed to bc the show demands the war games be something of a reveal hurts me in a very good way

- The mental image of “the Doctor and Jamie, resplendent in borrowed evening wear”

- The audio admitting that Jamie’s not very good at subterfuge, and the Doctor asking if he’s going to be alright with them having to steal the film back from Celine - and Jamie’s little “Aye, Doctor” as he feels a ‘glass arrow piercing his chest’ glad to see bf is reading all my letters about exactly how i feel any time something sad happens to james robert mccrimmon

- The Doctor’s anxious to get out of there for obvious reasons, but he hangs around bc Jamie wants to see Celine again - which doesn’t happen, because of her aforementioned shock & depression, but she does leave Jamie a note that ends “you and that Doctor of yours - look after him Jamie, he loves you dearly, as do I.” yeah, if you didn’t want people to draw a parallel there, you could’ve picked, like, any other wording in the world.

- In case you weren’t fully convinced I’ve been reading too much into this whole audio already, consider this: Celine dies in Long Island in 1968, three days before her birthday - 1968 is when this story would’ve taken place in the show’s history (between Fury & Wheel), and dying three days before/after a birthday in America seems a bit... well I had some deja vu from it, anyway

- Four of all people being the one to bring back the film - I know he does it bc Sarah Jane makes him, but personally, I often feel like despite the length of his run, 4 is the Doctor with which we might’ve gotten the fewest glimpses into his interiority, so the fact that it’s him and not one of the more overtly sentimental Doctors makes it feel like it carries even more weight somehow, to me anyway. I think I wrote a post saying roughly the same thing about 4 & Fate of Krelos/Return to Telos but maybe I only did that inside my own head lol. Still, I’m all for any opportunities for Jamie to be one of the few characters to draw some noticeable emotion out of Four, but in fairness I haven’t touched too much of his EU stuff to really be able to compare the frequency with which this happens with other past companions

- Is Four referring to Two or Jamie when he says he got the film from “an old family friend”? Two did the actual stealing, but he probably means Jamie’s involvement - either way, it’s an interesting way of describing old companions - or selves?

- When Jemima goes to call Jamie a thief, Four is “roused” to defend him: “he really was the very best of men” again, any time four freely shows he cares about someone, im over the moon about it

- Oh ha ha, there’s an audio called “Deleted Scenes” featuring the Doctor who’s most affected by junked episodes. And at the end of it, a character who’s spent her life researching and lecturing about a lost film gets to watch it be ‘rediscovered’ after it’s gone unseen for decades. I feel marginally less stupid for reading into the other details of a story like this when it ends up deciding to be to be clever & slightly meta like that

But yeah

all in all, it’s kind of amazing to me that this genuinely reads like they sat down and said okay boys it’s valentines day, let’s write an audio where jamie kisses a girl, since that hasn’t happened except as a plot device in one story in 1967 - but then when they got down to business they accidentally(?) wrote a story all about how important his bond with the Doctor is and how easily that can be compared to a legitimate love interest (even if the love interest in question is a one off character & the extent of the relationship appears to be like one kiss & then having Jamie spend most of his time around the Doctor instead)

I realize there’s something slightly illogical about writing the words “shipping aside” after a post like this but seriously - no matter how many categories you’re able to see two & jamie’s relationship fitting into, this is 40 minutes of big finish just hitting you over the head with how powerful/special/important that relationship is, and with them being two of my favorite characters, i really haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since

#jamie mccrimmon #second doctor #big finish #Short Trips: Deleted Scenes #yes i am gonna tag this #two/jamie #i think it earned it with the line from celine's letter if nothing else #and quite possibly the doctor's so-called imprudent & pain-driven spying #but i'll leave it at that #in case anyone's looking at the tags to decide if they should actually read this rambling monster of a post #also if you for some reason read this but haven't listened to the audio -#a) that's kind of you to care what i have to say but #b) you could probably have listened to half of it by now lol #did i mention it's a stand-alone audio that only costs $3?#and it's more of a traditional audio book format with one narrator who voices all the characters?#sorry i wasn't ready to do a bf pitch in the tags here #i genuinely dont know why someone who hasn't already heard it would bother to read all this #but if anyone has - thanks?#i'll shut up now so you can get on w ur day :)

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weapon13whitefang · 3 years

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Here’s why I, personally, don’t think the Daryl Spoiler is as big of a fucking deal as people are making it out to be.

So it’s all over the fandom by now, Imma just say shit now. If you don’t wanna know, don’t read anymore okay? Sorry not sorry at this point.

For those that don’t know what I’m talking about and want to know, here’s the scoop – This is all told in flashback due to Dog leading Daryl and Carol to a Cabin Daryl recognizes. In the flashback, after the bridge explosion that “killed” Rick, Daryl seems to still be off wandering the woods and searching the water for Rick’s body (As we knew he was). We don’t know his state of mind or how he’s acting but if this isn’t long after Rick’s “Death” then he’s most likely still in mourning.

Well then Daryl runs into a woman named Leah, which we see a glimpse of this woman in one of the trailers (Which, honestly, is so quick and brief and for a second I thought it was Magna funny enough but annyywayyy), and at first she’s very stand-offish and up in arms against Daryl (understandable, most of the survivors that don’t know each other tend to be hostile/guarded against each other). She seems to realize Daryl isn’t a threat and the two part ways.

We’re give moments of time that show Daryl and Leah keep running into each other as he’s searching for Rick and Leah is doing whatever she is doing. We aren’t specified on how these constant run-ins are played out. We don’t know if Daryl talks to her or she confronts him a lot. We don’t know. We just know that time goes by and that they’ve formed a relationship with each other. We don’t get any specifics, again, besides she’s cooking for him at his camp, they’re snuggles up watching stars together, and apparently there’s a hint that they’re noodling with one another because the. we see Daryl and Leah under a blanket together in front of a fire and she snuggles him closer to her… And we get Dog as a Puppy… Which, does that mean Daryl and Leah found dog together? Or was Dog Leah’s dog and she left him to Daryl? Or what?... Oh well, Puppy Dog! Also… They don’t SHOW Daryl having sex. It’s implied, sure, but anything can look sexually implied with the right lighting and angle. So if they did bump uglies, I don’t know for certain until I get to SEE the episode.

Well, anyway, we then go from snuggles by the fire and puppies to back at the cabin with Leah telling Daryl that he needs to start choosing what he wants because she thinks he’s all over the place… Now, to be fair, it’s kind of always been that Daryl gets dragged all over the place. He’s torn between his loyalty to Rick and finding him, his loyalty to those in Alexandria, and now apparently his whatever relationship with Leah. Well if Daryl says anything to this, I don’t know the spoiler doesn’t say. But he apparently leaves and goes back to his search for Rick’s body before he’s back at the camp. Which leads to a meetup with Carol, who comes by his camp to bring him stuff but also to tell him she isn’t going to be able to visit him anymore because Ezekiel and Henry need her at the Kingdom (which explains a little to why Daryl seemed surprised to see her later on when she and Henry go looking for him). This news seems to settle things for Daryl and he wanders back to the cabin for Leah… But Leah isn’t there. But her shit is still around, so Daryl believes she’ll be back. So he leaves her, basically, a little love note. “I belong here with you. Come find me.” But it’s implied she chose to just leave him, even knowing the routes he takes to look for Rick and how to get to his camp.

So… that’s the big booharah that has everyone shitting themselves and freaking the fuck out… Over what? This is a flashback. FLASHBACK. Something that happened during the missing years of the time jump… This implies Daryl has been out in the woods for YEARS looking for Rick, first of all (Which OMG my fucking heart. Knew this but the confirmation makes my heart want to cry for their brotherly love U3U ). But this whole mess has shown me that… A lot of people would rather have Daryl alone and miserable in the woods than find any form of comfort in someone. He’s lonely for fuck sake! He’s lonely, his best friend said she won’t be coming around anymore, his brother-friend is “Dead”, and he’s not happy back at Alexandria without being able to put Rick to rest but doesn’t wanna be far from them in case they need him… He’s just a lonely guy. And, I’m sorry, but this belief that Daryl needs to be alone for six/seven years… That’s just cruel.

But here’s what is making me laugh. This is OBVIOUSLY a show of character develop for Daryl. About why he is more comfortable with opening up to someone like Connie (this isn’t a ship call out, this is an observation). That Daryl can be open to having a romantic interest when, up until now, he’s been the lone wolf character just floating around everyone. No real settlement to a character (no matter what you all think or wanna say, Daryl was never in-canon called out as being with any character in a romantic way. Can still say the same for Leah to). This was an opening for Daryl to not be alone anymore, because Carol wasn’t gonna be coming around anymore and no one else came out to help him/stay with him. So I don’t blame him for reaching for someone he connected to, even if only briefly. If Daryl is comfortable with you/cares for you in any capacity, he will reach out for you. And whether we like it or not, he got comfortable with Leah. He let her snuggle him, guys. That’s a big sign he was okay with her. Sexy time aside, whatever. He was something with her and she to him and then she was just outty-3000. Which is really sad for him... Someone else he was close to stopped coming around. Like, Damn. Daryl can’t catch a break. Also, let it be noted, he didn’t go chasing her down. He could’ve easily tracked Leah down to stay with her/let her know in person he’s picking her... He didn’t. That tells me a lot. That should tell you all a lot!

Third thing is… This happened IN THE PAST. This means that the Daryl we see that Carol and Henry finds and up until now is still the same Daryl we’ve been seeing. This doesn’t change his narrative. It just adds more layers to him. It shows more growth, That’s great after all those seasons of Daryl having no lines or actions or any growth. It’s downright beautiful to me!

Nothing has changed for Daryl. He’s still the same as he was… Well right now he’s very angry and hurt and fighting with Carol, but he’s in a raw state right now. Remembering something like that then having a recent heart wrenching event be brought back up – the Connie trapped thing – has made Daryl’s hackles rise and he’s lashing out. We know that’s what Daryl does. He bites hard and digs into what makes you upset. Like when he threw the stuff about Beth cutting her wrist at her. He said that to specifically hurt her. Just as he threw the “No… That’s on You. That’s on you because you never know when to stop”. He held back on biting her head off back when the event happened. Which shows a lot of growth from Daryl and a lot of maturity. But he’s raw and upset so he’s digging at her.

This won’t end their friendship. Friends and couples fight all the time. This doesn’t mean they’re finished with each other. For the Carylers out there hissing a fit, these two are raw and broken characters and sometimes two similar characters hurt each other cause they know how to. But that doesn’t mean they hate each other. And I believe Daryl when he said “I aint ever gonna hate you”. He’s just angry and Carol is defensive and that’s not a good combo for anyone together...

For you Bethylers, so what if he fucked someone else? It’s not like Daryl was an actual virgin. Norman said he liked the idea of playing Daryl LIKE a virgin. But I always took that as emotionally. He’s an emotional virgin learning to experience and grow and shy about his feelings and understanding them…. He’s MERLE DIXON’S little brother. He followed Merle around. You think Daryl didn’t fuck around when he and Merle were running around? Look at Season 1 Daryl. That boy was a rough around wild man. Aint no way he never fucked before. Or at least got a blow job. I’m not saying he couldn’t be, but I don’t see Merle letting his brother move about with him without getting fucked/not letting his brother come off as gay (To put it in Merle’s colorful term). Not the way those characters were before S3. Nah.

For the Donnie fans, this just explains why he’s been so easy to open to Connie. He’s had practice letting someone in and being comfortable with the idea of it again. Connie also makes it easy on him by being her adorable and understanding self. Without Daryl’s growth into a previous emotional/physical relationship, I don’t see them connecting as quickly as they did.

I really do not see why this has everyone in a frantic state, Maybe I just look at things differently? Or I just don’t care that much about who Daryl ends up with forever. As long as he’s in a good headspace and happy… Let Daryl Fuck! Let him develop away from the Alexandrian’s and everyone else. Let him develop at all, Jesus…

#the walking dead #the walking dead spoilers #daryl dixon #beth greene #twd carol #queen carol #twd connie #twd leah #twd spoilers #the Daryl Dixon incident

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theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin · 3 years

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Lily (from "Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus", what else?) and Lenin and maybe some other people? Watch "Heathers". Reactions? Or what they get transported there? Sorry, it's just that I'm in this Heathers-obsession phase and since I love your work so much (and the fact that Trotsky is kinda sorta like JD) I've been wondering about a crossover like that. I honestly have no idea what your answer to this will entail.

I’ve been musing on this one for a bit now but I suppose it’s time to dig in and answer.

First, I’m not usually a fan of the “X characters watch Y thing” so we’re going to avoid that. Also, to Wizard Lenin, it’d undoubtedly be yet another one of Lily’s weird 80′s movies that she loves so much and forces him to watch. It’s less gory than Predator, but dammit Lily, high school isn’t like this!

Getting transported there is a similarly weird story. It’s such a muggle setting that it really doesn’t mesh well with the “Sisyphus” cast. Why would Lily and Wizard Lenin be stuck in this high school in Ohio? Would they even do anything besides go “That JD kid sure is weird” and “Wow, the death count here is higher than Hogwarts!”? Point being, I can’t imagine they’d get entangled in the true plot of “Heathers” and at best would be providing riff track commentary on this crazy high school.

So, instead, let’s go the good old fusion route. Let’s make the world of “Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus” just a bit more like “Heathers” and see how it pans out.

Because “Heathers” is all about the destruction of society from within, we’re axing Voldemort. Sorry, Tom, you got stuck in a magical mirror, eaten by bears, or something after 1943 and are going to be Sir Not Appearing in this Universe. As a result, there’s no Voldemort, but the deep societal issues that Tom took advantage of very much remain and are flourishing.

In this world, Lily is still a god, but is not immediately recognized as such by being the girl who lived. Instead, she’s just a strange, dangerously overpowered, nuisance that nobody likes. And her home life is trash.

I imagine in the world without Voldemort, Death Eaters, and a second war Lily and James’ marriage quickly crumbles. This is mainly due to the stress of marriage but also due to having a gifted, ridiculously intelligent, and creepy child. Within a few years, Lily Evans has the audacity to do what is never done: she divorces her pureblood lord husband and tries to vie for child custody. She loses, of course, as she’s a muggle born woman, and is basically banished from ever seeing her kid again.

James never really gets over this, Ellie looking so much like Lily Evans certainly not helping matters, and over the years grows very cold to her. She’s not a son so is useless to inherit, she’s nothing like him, and she’s just an all around disappointment. James very quickly gets remarried for political purposes, marrying a far less scandelous pureblood witch from pick your prestigious family, and they have a son meaning that Lily is no longer heir.

Lily thus attends Hogwarts as essentially the half-blood Potter. She’s for all intents and purposes a bastard child, one barely acknowledged by her father, and is also weird. As a result I imagine she’s bullied relentlessly much in the manner Luna is. For years.

I imagine Luna Lovegood is her only friend, as the pair have bonded over constantly having their stuff destroyed and being locked out of their dormitories.

Enter Lily’s seventh year and thus the plot.

The outside world is looming and Lily effectively has no future. Despite being the daughter of Lord Potter, she’s in a similar position that Tom Riddle was. She won’t be hired into the Ministry or basically any position thanks to her dubious heritage as well as the fact that no one likes her.

Mostly, she just wants out. She wants out of the country where everyone knows exactly who she is and where she came from. Her best hope for this is employment with the goblins but she needs recommendations from a professor. Her best bet is Slughorn, but while he’s always been awed of her ability after seven years of Lily the charm has worn off. Lily has never received an invitation to the Slug Club.

Lily realizes that to get out she must become popular so someone can vouch for her to Slughorn. Not to mention her life might become slightly, slightly, less miserable. So, Lily approaches the Heathers. Much like in the film/musical, Lily offers her services to them for the fee of making nice, pretending to like her, and getting her an in with Slughorn.

This spirals out of control as the Heathers instead do the makeover and make Lily suddenly cool. She’s suddenly invited to parties, people talk to her, it’s a whole new world.

Around this time, Lily in the room of requirement happens to stumble across the diary (nevermind how he gets there, we’ll pretend Tom just never managed to smuggle him out of the castle). Tom has been trapped in there, dying, and Lily obliviously informs him that all his ambitions and sacrifices amounted to nothing. There was no dark lord after Grindelwald, she’s never heard of a Tom Riddle, and everything she describes makes it sound like nothing has changed.

Tom Riddle inexplicably vanished off the face of the earth leaving only the diary behind.

Naturally, Tom is very pissed about this, and sets about plotting how he can return, trying to get Lily to open up by asking her for help returning him to his body. Lily does him one better and just returns him to his body without any sacrifice, casually remarking that she’s always been like this as long as she can remember, fully accepting Tom to yell “SHE’S A WITCH! BURN HER!” to her face as everyone else does.

Tom, however, is floored and everything he’s ever known to be true is thrown out the window. He decides to make Lily his new pet project.

Unfortunately for him, by this point Lily has a Slug Club to attend, only it goes horribly wrong. The Heathers have purposefully set about humiliating Luna, Lily’s only friend, and Lily has to very publicly break ties with them even though it means sacrificing her only real chance of leaving the country with gainful employment. Worse, the Heathers promise wrath the likes of which Lily has never seen before.

Lily, devastated and despairing, goes back to Tom and confesses all the shitiness of her extremely shitty life and how she doesn’t even know what the Heathers will do to her now. Tom finds this a little odd, as Lily has quickly proven herself the most powerful person on the planet, but he’s willing to play along. More to the point, Lily and Tom’s relationship goes from 0 to 100 as he is not only the first guy to show interest in her but he’s very very interested and very very hot. When Lily decides to beg Alpha Heather for forgiveness, Tom notes that he’ll come with, he’s better with people than she is.

Tom, having hit a low point of nihilist rage thanks to Voldemort having amounted to nothing, poisons Alpha Heather and dutifully covers for Lily by writing her suicide note. This works. There is an ecstasy of joyous grief throughout the school as staff and students alike confess how they never knew the true Heather. Lily is astounded, Tom is ecstatic.

Lily tries to return to life as normal, goes back to hanging out with Luna, but also has to introduce Tom to the school. Tom suggests she mind wipes everyone, that makes Lily uncomfortable, so she instead confesses what she believes is the truth in that Tom was trapped in an enchanted object. Dumbledore nearly has a stroke, but since Tom Riddle never became Voldemort, it’s more that this is a solution to an unsolved mystery and the castle is glad Tom isn’t actually dead. They’d thought he got hit by one of those muggle bombs during WWIII or whatever it was the muggles had going on.

HA HA HA HA, but no, Tom says in response.

In the meantime Tom gets to witness Lily’s weird and strained relationship with her father, his friends, and her younger half-brother. Tom points out that Lily seeking out gainful employment is unnecessary. Lily doesn’t have to be a part of society, like all these worthless people around her, she’s so powerful that she can do whatever she likes however she likes it. She can simply leave the country, she could become a dark lord even, there’s nothing stopping her. Lily’s never thought of it like that before, to become a true part of society, to be accepted on some level by that society, has always just seemed like the obvious path to her. What else would she do?

Due to this, Lily and Tom’s relationship continues to grow as they’re really the first people to see each other as they are. Naturally, this is when shit hits the fan. Thanks to Tom, Lily’s invited to another Slug Club with him (Tom can still become minister even if he was trapped in a book for fifty years! Slughorn says). Lily gets hit on and nearly sexually assaulted by some of the boys there, Lily gets out, but the next day rumor circulates around the school that Lily was in a threesome with them.

Tom Riddle sets up a ridiculous scheme in which he fakes their murder suicide where they confess to being homosexual. Lily is increasingly horrified. The school, once again, is in an ecstasy of joyful grief over the loss of these two, beautiful, oppressed, gay souls. Lily realizes that Tom is A Bad Dude (TM) and tries to confront him. He easily confesses he cares nothing about these people and has decided he wants to watch society burn. These are the people who thought he had died in the Blitz and did nothing. They are people who cannot and will not change. They’re the absentee fathers who dote on far less powerful, pureblood, sons. Tom has officially, completely, given up on the wizarding world and now he will destroy it as quickly and horrifically as he can. Lily, not belonging to society, can pour the kerosene on with him.

This is getting a little too gnarly for Lily and she dumps Tom.

Unfortunately, he quickly becomes exceedingly popular thanks to his angelic face, his natural charm and charisma, and his understanding of people. He passes around a petition for suicide and bullying awareness that everybody and their brother signs. What they’re really signing is pages from the diary which, much like Death Note, promises him both their magic and their life force.

Tom confronts Lily and admits he’s going to murder everybody, an entire generation of wizards and witches gone in an instant, AND LILY CAN BE HIS DARK QUEEN! Lily and Tom get into a fight, Tom accidentally murders the shit out of her and is devestated, only of course for Lily to wake up later after he’s left because she was unwittingly immortal this whole time.

Rising from the dead, Lily hunts Tom down before he can blow up the school, and sucks him back into the diary. Upon graduation Lily makes up with Luna, still has no prospects and plans to go and be homeless in India, has hesitantly gotten in contact with Lily Evans, basically has no contact left with her father, and has a boyfriend diary named Tom who might be let out in fifty years if he promises not to blow up a school.

#ask #anon #lily and the art of being sisyphus #heathers

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king-maven-calore · 3 years

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Odd question no. 16, who are your top 5 fave Red Queen characters and which part of the series/books did you start to like them.

You know anon, your questions aren’t odd at all 😊 but I’m guessing this is your signature at this point. Here you go! (it got a little long, sorry)

5-Farley: She grew on me tbh, there wasn’t a point in particular that made me feel like wow now I stan her. Nah, I just thought she was badass, smart (also she got that short haircut at some point that I totally fell in love with 🥵) ) and I liked how idealistic she is. She is the female version of one of my favorite characters in all of literature, Enjorlas from Les Miserables. (Except her revolution did work 🤧 )

4-Evangeline: I fell in love with her the moment she shows up at Queenstrial clad in leather and spikes and smirks like she owns the place. 10/10 stole my heart and kept stealing it every time she opened her mouth (except when she screams “he was supposed to be mine” about Cal in the Bowl of Bones yikes) I was praying to the literature gods that she would be a lesbian and they answered. When she said fuck the war, I’m going to Montfort with my GF to sip piñas Coladas? Absolute legend behavior. Unparalleled.

3-Mare: She started to grow on me when she decided to go through with the shooting and again in Glass Sword when she straight up maims those prison guards despite Cal asking her not to do it. Not her best moments for a lot of people, but for me, this is exactly the kind of behavior you can expect from a girl who has been oppressed and starved all of her life and has seen the torture inflicted upon her people. White people tend to have this high and mighty rhetoric about how oppressed people should react to shit, how they should be the better person. FUCK that. I’ve seen it play out a thousand times on TV and in books. Characters of color and especially women aren’t allowed to be raging, teeth bared, screaming and kicking angry about anything, or they are called crazy, irrational, and barbaric.

tl,dr: Mare is rightfully angry, she acts on it, she has love for her people and her family, I love ❤️❤️❤️her. I love she gets everything she wanted. More brown women getting everything they want, please.

2-Cal: I liked him when he showed up and helped Mare tossing a coin at her, later when he helped her get a job, the dancing lessons. All good things. But the moment I really was like damn, silver boy 😏😏 was after the shooting, how this cold, pragmatic part of him comes out. Like Mare says, he’s a warrior through and through. And later when he refuses to join the Red Rebellion, that completely sold me. Too often YA love interests have “the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair” and throw their beliefs out of the window to make out with the protag and there’s nothing I loathe more. He slowly changes as the series progresses and I love his character arc so much sometimes my heart aches lmao. Because he starts off as an upholder of the oppressive system with a ver flimsy sense of compassion and ends the books wiser, actually compassionate, with a sense of striving for the greater good, and a huge softie. As I said before, I consider him the Darcy of YA.

1-Maven: oh my tragic child. First started liking him when he seeks out Mare under the rain and then takes her to Cal so she can see her family. Completely owned my soul when he rises from the ground as Mare asks for help and he’s like “Nah, fam. I’m good.” how easily he drops the act and how far he is willing to go to get power. I’m going to cut it here because when I start talking about him I can’t stop (That’s why I don’t include him in fics that much oops). There are personal reasons why I like him and literary ones. He’s extremely layered and whenever he showed up, he elevated the story to a whole new level.

#ask #anon #red queen #red queen series #Maven calore #Evangeline samos #Mare barrow #Tiberias calore #Diana farley #Anonymous

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ostrichlady · 3 years

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THOUGHTS AND RAMBLES ABOUT SNK CHAPTER 139 (SPOILERS!!)

Rating of this chapter: Lukewarm tea.

And everyone knows lukewarm tea tastes bad.

I do think the best way to deal with this chapter is to not overanalyze it. Read it once, call it quits and move on. I did that and felt great the next day. But because I spent too many years of my life in this story, of course the thoughts came back and there are a few things I need to say before leaving this story behind.

I never wanted a happy or tragic ending. I never wanted for everything to be solved neither for everything to end on a depressing note. The only thing I ever asked for was that the finale was fair and made sense.

But unfortunately, what happened was the exact opposite.

Everything that happened after the 3 years time skip was a big whatever and the only thing that comforts me is that Armin is alive, and Historia seems happy with her child.

I still don’t understand why Reiner and Annie were so easily accepted. I mean, at least Reiner showed huge amounts of regret and we saw how he dealt with the trauma that everything caused to him (although now he's back to being a creep for Historia? Ew). But Annie? She herself admitted she would do the same shit all over again no problem, and why was she tearing after talking to Eren in the PATHS? Didn’t she say a few chapters ago that if they had to kill him, she wouldn’t hesitate and was almost judging Mikasa and Armin for not thinking the same way? Excuse me Annie, but what made you so emotional all of the sudden?

Then we learn that the world is still a very dangerous place for Eldians and Paradis; the yeagerists are in charge of the military force and will swoop the alliance’s ass very easily if they find them chilling outside. And my question is: killing 80%of the population lead to this? Really? At any moment, Eldians can be exterminated, this is even worst than before!? They don’t have proper military training, the world still doesn’t like them and the alliance ambassadors or whatever are not very liked either sooo...I truly don’t understand the point of this. Now, don’t get me wrong: I never liked the Rumbling plan because as Hange said, "There's never a good enough reason for committing genocide", and I also always believed the Rumbling would make everyone else hate Eldians even more. But if 80% of people had to have their lives taken, at least don’t let it go to waste!?

Anyways, going back to when they’re still at war.

So Eren went around everyone’s mind and now everyone cries for him. A little late, but sure.

Everyone who was transformed into a titan is back, making the previous chapter be even more useless. Imagine reading the volume, get some shock value with Jean, Connie and everyone else becoming titans just to turn the page and they are back. I mean, I thought it was really unfair Jean died (and I hope he’s not arranging his hair for when they meet Mikasa) but having him and everyone else coming back like this is just....dumb?

The fact we had Eren’s intentions explained this way makes the whole situation even messier. From his conversation with Armin to the road trip he did through people’s memories, it was just a big dump of information that did nothing but pull out a wtf from me. I think it would be a lot better if we saw a POV like the one from chapter 131, more honest and raw being that we would be seeing his true thoughts with no outside opinions and questioning. But this whole mess felt so, so displaced that for two seconds I wondered if they were all going crazy, Eren included.

And I will never accept that Eren “killed” his mom for the sake of whatever the heck this became. Just no. Carla was Eren’s most important person, the one who said he was special simply for being born, and you want to convince me she had to be pulled into this mess because of some weird shit Ymir had going on with Mikasa, and Eren had to follow through?? This was cheap shock value that didn’t even shock because of how nonsense it is. The scene in which Eren asks Reiner why did his mom have to die lost all of its value and weight. How can one rewatch or reread snk, see the tragic and emotional scene where a 10 year old kid cries and screams as he see his mom be EATEN BY A TITAN and feel anything at all? Honestly, what a disrespect to Carla. Someone should have told her Yeagers can’t be trusted.

Speaking of Yeagers: Grisha, your kids are a mess. Come take responsibility for this-

Besides the fact that Zeke was killed for absolutely NOTHING, Eren’s character became a joke on a dozen of panels. More than angry, I’m shocked with how Isayama pulled this off. From having one of the best MC in modern shounen to having a pathetic little idiot that doesn’t know wtf he’s doing and has an intense unresolved crush on the girl he’s always had zero chemistry with. Legit I would be less surprised if he said he had a crush on fucking Connie, for god’sake. All of his motives, ideals and determination were sacrificed in sake of complete obnoxious notions of love I’m not even gonna ramble about here. And don't come at me with the whole "Oh bUt hE's JuSt A tEeNaGeR aNd DoEsN't UnDeRsTaNd HiS eMoTiOnS aNd WaS hIdInG hIs LoVe FoR mIkAsA". That's a cheap explanation for a cheap argument for a cheap mess that makes no sense. If you’re an Eren stan, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened but I feel your pain.

Last but certainly not least: Mikasa and Ymir.

I could say so much about these two but to sum it up: what a miserable duo. I’m not head over heels for Mikasa but I thought she had her place in the story and could have had some good character development. But ever since the timeskip, I had a feeling it wasn’t going to happen and it really didn’t. If Isayama chose this way for her because there’s a message between the lines, I don’t care because this was the last chapter and we all wanted answers. So we’re working with what we have laid down plain which is: Mikasa had a miserable ending, can’t let go of Eren and is stuck in the past. Her so called “selfless” love and obsession towards Eren is a very unhealthy response to her own traumas. This connection between her and Ymir just proves even further what I said as both of them are devoted to a love that never gave back and deeply hurt them in more ways than it’s apparent.

And still on Ymir’s topic, I don’t understand why she now has stockholm syndrome towards that nasty, disgusting, waste of human being king when the plot was setting her up in a complete different direction!? That whole talk of Eren finally freeing her from being a slave to the royal family, and giving her the chance of choosing her own path, where did all of that go!? What was that chapter for!? All of this buildup just because she was waiting for Mikasa?

Where has the entire talk about “everyone deserves freedom because they were born into this world” go? Why has a theme bigger than any of the characters gotten reduced to “waiting for Mikasa to decide herself about her feelings ‘cause omg tragic loooovee story”??? This just makes the deaths of everyone, and the scouts look completely useless. That Ramzi kid really died for this...

I swear, what a mess.

Overall, if you read this chapter in one go and then sigh relief as snk is finally over, this ending will probably be okay or just meh. I’m not angry or anything near that. Just disappointed and shocked that these two last chapters were this bad. Again, even if there are hidden messages between the lines, this is the last chapter and we shouldn’t have to be debating that. It’s okay to pull out a bunch of foreshadowing and questioning and whatnot in your story but to leave things in the open with the most weird messages and morals on the surface is just...blergh.

#snk 139 #aot 139 #snk last chapter #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk spoilers #aot spoilers

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thelostandforgottenangel · 4 years

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Turtle’s Naked Challenge

@bloody-weapons-soft-soul13 @fyreball66 @lonelyheart-clubband @blossom-skies @narwals14 @betelgeusessonajblog @missbeautyandherbeast @midnightrebel669 @midnight-chocolate-turtle @myheyheyheystuff @nikitaboeve @mistyroselove @waterstar2016 @bluesakurablossom @bayverse-turtle-power @nights-legacy @janna-the-breaker @missmagellanic @darksaphire2002 @aurora-the-kunoichi @moonlightflower21 @queendice98 @infintyfandoms @ravn-87 @bmntgirl @vixie-chan233

This took a while to do considering my daughter after hearing her auntie bae claim I was fucking lazy decided to dump a drink over my flashdrives so I couldn’t use them anymore resulting in losing all my files, stories, and all my asks but as requested here’s some steamy wet turtle nudity

Her boyfriend had gotten to her place after a long strenuous patrol looking so tired and rundown just knowing being the leader could be hard

Being the older brother to three whack job goofy brothers could also do a number on a turtle’s mentality and had her heart going out to him instantly one these nights making her somewhat baby her alpha much to the displeasure on his face

He didn’t like the coddling but knowing how grumpy he could be had the woman wanting to make it better because Leonardo deserved to be pampered like a king when he allowed her to do so

After all he made her feel like a queen every day she could do the same for her leader

Upon offering him her shower to relax and wash the day away but also giving him tons of kisses that pulled a loving smile from her special guy and promising of more once he was done had him swayed easily

Plus he seemed more willing as her hand trailed up his plastron hearing her whispering of maybe some more enticing fun once he was finished he had immediately hopped in to clean up while she got comfortable and started reading her new book he had gotten her a few weeks back

The woman figured he might be a while and he deserved the longest shower he could stand so why not read a few chapters until he was done already having their movie ready to be started and dinner in the stove already prepared knowing he loved home cooked meals

Only the best for her turtle

She was so absorbed in the pages happily following the hero’s tale the water turning off didn’t even register to her nor did the bathroom door squeaking or abnormal soft steps approaching her couch where she was lounged out comfortably

What did was the sopping wet towel that landed on her making her squeak and jump a foot in the air

“Finally reading it – it’s a really good story”

She pulled the cloth off her before freezing seeing her leader standing there proud in front of her in all his glorious perfection steam roving lazily off his leaf green flesh as those blue sapphires set her on fire feeling the room getting warm as she looked him over shifting in her seat as something else started to feel ‘hot’

She was panting and all he was doing was looking at her

The throbbing appendage between his thick thighs had her trying desperately not to look down and she failed miserably as he strolled forward a sly grin on his face his lower lip caught between his teeth before he tilted her head up smelling what he was doing to her and the soft fabric of the blue nightie had him seconds from losing his dominate stance

“Just wondering does that offer still stand or are you just going to sit there drooling all over the book” she apparently didn’t answer him fast enough because the look in his eyes shifted as he got over her growling under his breath “Bedroom now and on your knees before I break the couch again~”

Her body responded this time as he moved back so fluidly walking towards the hallway before letting her pass him a small moan leaving her as the pressure of his fingers on the back of her neck had her bending to his will “Whatever you want Sensei”

He had to be having a bad day cause when he got to her place he was growling, cussing, and mumbling nasty obscenities through his bared teeth

No doubt somebody had pissed him off and being how late it was that list of names was fairly a mile long but not limited to several of the normal characters but after a bit of persuading and lots of affection to her teddy bear she had finally convinced him to go take a hot shower to calm himself

She hated seeing him so upset

She lit the sweet fresh picked strawberry candles on the counter just for him knowing the smell of her newest set always made him feel calm remembering with clarity the first night she got them he had shown up in a rage over something she truly didn’t understand but the second he took a deep breath he had just relaxed curling up with his head on her chest passing out almost immediately purring like a kitten

Every night after if she knew he was coming over she was burning those candles finding he became very affectionate and needy

He tried to coax his love into the bedroom mumbling he just wanted cuddles but she handed him her biggest towel and sent him on his way swearing they could snuggle after he was done for as long as her turtle needed

Not wanting to bother the hothead she had sat down on the sofa to wait knowing once he was done she could drag the turtle into some loving cuddles until he wanted to talk about what happened so maybe when he headed home he was in a much better mood

While he was showering she just knew he would be a while and it was her favorite night so the woman turned on her TV fast to catch up on her crime show and became oblivious to everything in her surroundings

She was focused on her favorite character shirtless grinning like a love sick school girl hardly hearing the bathroom door open so when a towel landed over her head she was a bit shocked quickly pulling it off “Raphie this is the best part what are you-!?”

The woman looked up from her couch to see the massive turtle standing there with a serious look completely stripped of his normal attire leaving her in a dazed stupor upon seeing what was in front of her as he stepped in the way of her TV

Licking his lips Raphael stood holding a smaller towel drying off his neck as water dripped down his naked built body and damn he had her full attention before a smug smile was aimed at her when she couldn’t look away taking in his perfectly sculpted physique realizing now she had never comprehended how big he was

“Ya still wanna watch the show or – ya up ta help me blow off some pent up steam?” he winked still exuding cockiness walking towards her room giving her a great view of his ass making her turn off the TV so fast not caring if she missed her new episodes before jumping over the back of her couch already unbuttoning her blouse

“No sir… Nope not at all” she ran after him hearing that thunderous chuckle as she shut her bedroom door jumping the massive turtle quickly once he was on her bed kissing him hard as the woman was pulled against him knowing she wasn’t going to let Raph leave tonight “I’m all yours baby”

He was late and not answering his phone… of course he was and after she had worked so hard making him his favorite Italian dish and had even gone all out to make a beautiful tiramisu from scratch which was far from easy like the recipe online had claimed but it was all for her loving genius wanting his rare day off to be perfect but after this long she knew he’s be at her window the moment he realized it

As forgetful as Donatello was she knew he wouldn’t stand her up

Almost on cue two hours later the genius was tapping on the frame with that cute bashful smile on his face as he climbed in the window dropping his gear in the chair she had purposely moved there to keep him from just dropping everything on her floor

“Sorry dove the truck was in need of a tune up and then I got distracted by the leaking radiator hoses – it was a big mess but I’m here – and dinner smells amazing”

Her adorkable nerd trying to explain the whole ordeal as if the woman couldn’t tell what had kept her boyfriend was always adorable he wore the evidence of oil and grease all over his skin and pants stained

The woman jumping back as he started moving in to kiss her made him pause hoping she wasn’t mad at him before she stopped the genius with one finger pointing to the problem before heading to her room

He was still looking himself over like he didn’t see the problem when she reappeared handing him a large towel and the clothes he had left last time he had stayed at her place a serious look plastered on her face but the ghost of a smile on her lips told him she wasn’t upset “You are not sitting on the couch or any furniture until every speck of that is off you”

He gave her the cutest pout starting to argue that he was starving and she knew how long it would take for him to actually get off every bit of grease which – actually made her reconsider her words wondering if he had eaten today but moved closer bringing him down by his dirty mask giving him a loving kiss

She promised as soon as he was cleaned up she would have his plate ready before going to the kitchen getting the degreaser scrub she bought after the last time the genius came over covered in oil after fixing the garbage truck seeing him roll his eyes before chuckling as he finally gave stealing one last kiss as he headed down the hallway

It was going to be a little bit with his having to scrub his arms and hands so she turned on her computer starting to check over a few things her boss needed by next week already having it mostly done thanks to having a brilliant boyfriend who explained it in full detail in less then a minute where as her dumbass boss had pulled her into a three hour long meeting to explain it but left her even more confused

But of course the computer was running slower then normal calling down the hall she would need his tech support help to fix it later whining as it tried to shut down on her after working great minutes before

She had just hit save when a soaked towel landed in her lap making her jump nearly spilling her drink on the laptop before snapping around to get onto the turtle but paused her face draining of any anger that had been there to be replaced by a dark blush

A smaller towel draped over his shoulders as he dried his neck and face had her suddenly aware of just how handsome he was without the mask he always wore but him standing there with nothing on but a crooked half smile on his lips and his glasses hanging low on his snout giving her a clear view of the molten honey brown orbs taking her in

“Did I hear somebody needs tech support? I hate to tell you this princess but the price of services goes up on my day off~”

She couldn’t even come up with a single thing to say with him looking down at her, that heated bedroom gaze melting her in her chair as his mates wide eyes drifted slowly over his body left completely breathless by just how sensual he looked

They had been together for a while and Donnie was normally a little shy even around her but right then he was just as confident as any of his brothers “But maybe I could be swayed to give you a discount for the right payment”

His smile widened noticing she was unable to tear her gaze away from his body always loving how she could boost his self confidence so easily

“I’m willing to do a full payment with interest if you’ll fix it by tomorrow morning Sir”

Her eyes finally met his again feeling the heat building in her, she was already well aware of what he was silently commanding closing her computer the second he shifted his weight back, dinner long forgotten before she was hurrying after him catching his hand

She was in his arms seconds later his lips crushing hers just as the door shut never realizing they were on the bed until the thin fabric of her top ripped and he was ravishing her breast

His glasses coming off was her only warning the lovable shy genius was no longer there

She had already pushed all of the furniture out of the way hoping his patrol wouldn’t last too much longer knowing Leo would try to not make him too late but it gave her time to get everything set up along with the three pizzas and his favorite snacks

Having just finished up with everything a smile spread on her lips when he clambered through the main bay window from her balcony already dressed out in his old sweatpants covered in paint stains with all his supplies knowing he had just ran the whole way after getting home his arms immediately placing them on the plastic on the floor before he was behind her wrapping his girl in a tight hug giving all the kisses he could to her

“What do you think?”

Michelangelo had came over to do an art date and being as the wonderful girlfriend she was she had gotten some of the biggest canvases she could find at the craft store for them wanting to do something special for both of them giggling as he kissed down her neck seeing her surprise for him “I love it babycakes! This is perfect!” his excitement only made her smile wider

They were going to do a portrait for one another so she had planned out her painting to the youngest turtle since she had seen his excitement in having a special night at her place like she tried to do often for him

Being Mikey couldn’t go out in public and she knew how much it bothered him that he couldn’t take her somewhere on dates even though she didn’t really want to be in public the woman always tried to come up with fun dates where the only thing that really mattered was being together and making sure he knew his baby didn’t need to be seen out with somebody or go anywhere fancy to love him

All she needed was the loving and attentive turtle who made her feel special every single day

After placing their easels back to back both of them were so ready to get started grabbing one box of pizza to sit between them as he prepared his stuff being overly affectionate with her kissing and holding her just wanting to watch what she was going to do but she shooed him to his side

This had to be a surprise

Two hours later she finished with the layout starting to add color, of course she couldn’t see what he was doing but her normally hyper noisy boyfriend was surprisingly quiet hearing him working hard on whatever he was painting for her made her work even harder wanting it to be perfect for him

Lost in the painting the woman couldn’t stop from smiling the more and more it looked like his shell the deep mahogany blending in with the hints of chestnut and small streaks of orange she had admired since the day she met him giving it a few finishing touches

He called out he was done just as she finished the last major detail making her carefully pick up her painting placing it over on a homemade drying rack when he came over placing his canvas beside hers for the big reveal

Mikey was instantly pressed against her back holding her from behind hearing a surprised gasp at seeing the pattern of his carapace plates up close “Baby! Holy crap it’s – does my shell really look like that?” she giggled as he tried to look over his shoulder before she took in what he had done

On his there was lots of color blended in together making it very bright, happy, and a bit psychedelic the way the splatters brought out the finer details, her name was in a graffiti like cursive style with tiny spots of glitter making it shimmer like a diamond before seeing in the center the imprint of his chest plate was painted there in his own cute signature loving how he had painted in the heart with green and orange so she would never forget him

“It’s beautiful-” she turned to kiss him noticing his sweats on the floor looking back before she exploded in laughter shocked to see the turtle standing there with a wide grin his brow line wiggling before her eyes slipped lower finding him there in nothing

“Oh my god Mikey!” her boyfriend stood there looking so proud of himself, his entire upper half centered more towards his plastron was covered in multiple colors of paint that went all the way down past his waistline which told her he had painted himself and pressed against the canvas he was splattered in every color imaginable across his muscular arms and cute happy face “Did you get any paint on the canvas”

He seemed so offended looking himself up and down before striking a pose in full Mikey fashion giving her a flirtatious wink “Oh baby you see this body it is the canvas” she giggled waving him off before screaming out as he tackled her to the floor kissing her as he smeared some paint on her face

“N-NO MIKEY! STOP!” she was laughing way too much to be taken serious squirming as he pulled at her clothes mumbling she should try painting nude too throwing them off to the side

Biting her lip she tried to stop from moaning her cheeks burned hotly while trailing the streaks of colorful paint that made his body stand out a bit more biting her lip trying to look up blushing and finding it a bit difficult to resist him with the thick shaft already erect and throbbing against her exposed belly as he picked up a brush as he opened her to him pressing close so she could feel him “Now baby girl – I know something I’m about to paint white~”

With him this was what she lived for her arms surrounding him as she kissed her way to his neck not really caring if she got messy when his hands accidently landed in her paints starting to like where this was going as he smeared it over her curves when she fell limp finally submitting as she pointed to a stack of canvases off to the side

“Let’s do something that will only be for your eyes Daddy~”

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #naked challenge 2 #tmnt leonardo #tmnt raphael #tmnt donatello #tmnt michelangelo #lemon #turtles x female #Shower #tmnt bayverse #tmnt 2014/2016

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snkpolls · 3 years

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SnK Chapter 134 Poll Results

The chapter poll closed with 1747 responses. This month’s poll results were brought to you by /u/_Puppet_, /u/berthototototo, /u/staraves and @momtaku.

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,675 Responses

Chapter 134 “Depths of Despair” was another solid chapter with an average rating of 4.52, making it the highest rated chapter of the volume and 15th highest since we started keeping records.

The art was incredible

The best chapter in the volume, bar none.

it was really fucking cool and a definite step up from Chapter 133. This chapter does well to inform you that we *are* at the final battle now, and nothing is stopping this story from crashing to a sudden end pretty damn soon.

This chapter, like every other in the volume, feels like it was stretching. I was actively bored reading it. With so few chapters left, does Isayama really have time to stretch this much? He has so many loose ends to tie up and it's concerning. He obviously wanted a volume cliffhanger with the alliance facing Eren so I hope that his pacing next volume is much tighter because this ain't it, chief

This has easily become one of my favourite chapters in the while manga. [...] Overall, it's as good as 112, 122, 131 and other popular "masterpieces" in my opinion

Bruh I have been waiting for this so long and Isayama fucking DELIVERED. I was so worried with all the build-up and sometimes sloppy pacing that the final Eren vs Alliance showdown wouldn't live up to the hype but NOPE, it was amazing and beyond expectations. The moment where the refugees realize that Paradis forces had come to save them?? Gold. Beautiful. 10/10. Isayama I am sorry for ever doubting you, you are a god and I am thankful for your existence.

Rank this chapter a 5 for the Source of All Organic YEEKS.

Is there any button to press in order to rate this chapter 20/10?

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? 1,692 Responses

It was a very close race, but “the crowd attempting to save the baby” ultimately came out on top and once again demonstrated the fanbase’s affinity for despair… or was it hope this time? In a close second comes Armin’s cliffhanger question to Eren, third place going to Reiner stomping the Beast Titan, which beat the rumbling scenery across the world by a single vote, which beat seeing the final audio by a single vote. If the extremely close results mean anything, this chapter certainly had something for everyone.

The crowd lifting the baby to safety is an image that will leave a permanent mark on me. I don’t have words to describe that scene.

Honestly, each goddamn panel is impacting, exciting or badass. I love the Historia scene, the chaos and destruction left me speechless, Karina and Mr. Leonhart's reflexion was heartbreaking, as well as the Marleyan general's.

“That Fucking Monkey!”

Reiner Helos was the most hype part of the chapter.

I could never really decide what’s my favorite scene or anything, it’s all just amazing.

as an eren stan it was rly brutal and eye opening to actually see all the innocent people and kids dying, overall it was a great chapter, just very gruesome

Reiners armored body slam and Levi’s monkey comment were best moments. Really appreciated seeing the worlds POV one more time.

I loved Reiner's moment but otherwise boring chapter.

I loved armin in this chapter he finally looks like hes acting as a commander.hopefully we will get more of this.

I love how much of other countries we get to see through rumbling, it helps to show more details for the wolrd building.

I liked Levi calling Zeke a “Big, furry bastard”.

We finally see Eren's new titan for doing something other than moving forward, and the beast titan scene was epic.

i cried when i saw the families saying goodbye. seeing eren as the founding titan hurts too.

Amazing. Literally lost for words. The last panel with Armin was so emotional/amazing. His character growth is phenomenal. Cannot wait for the next one

The tower guard's words were too much but I LOVED the moment with the baby on the cliff. I wasn't expecting something like that.

WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER'S MVP? 1,669 Responses

As well as earning the favorite moment this month, the crowd at the cliffs also scored a collective MVP, showing that teamwork does indeed make the dream work. Closely coming in second is Reiner, no doubt from his valiant attack on the Beast Titan, and in third place is the commander of the alliance, Armin.

ARMIN GOAT

I love reiner so much :D

CHADERENFTW

The final pages just shows why i love Armin so much

Karina's regret was one of best parts of this chapter.

Reiner such a badass.

Wow just wow, the crowd, the alliance with their shit together (for the most part) can’t wait to see how this ends

WE SEE HISTORIA AGAIN! FOR ONE PAGE… THOUGHTS ON HER GOING INTO LABOR? 1,666 Responses

28 months since we last saw Historia in the present time, and now we finally see her again. But is this one page worth the wait? 36.6% are glad that this plot point is finally coming back, 33.1% are glad to see her but wish we’d gotten her side of the story, 12.3% are glad it seems to be a real pregnancy, and 11.6% are done with Isayama’s handling of her in the story.

I thought she was only like five months pregnant.

i hope she survives this :(

I just want this subplot to be over.

It's alright? I still wish she would have joined the scouts in the final battle instead of the pregnancy tho…

I'm so disgusted by the whole Historia situation. The execution of this plot point was abysmal from the beginning and I hate it

None of the above options square with how I feel. Historia's perspective (in addition to Eren's) is being set up as the final "basement"; so while I can see why some are frustrated, it has actually piqued my interest to see where this may end up

EH is endgame

EreHisu would ruin the manga

Each chapter I become increasingly pessimistic about Historia as a character. In the beginning of this chapter when we got the close-up of her eyes as she closed them in pain, I was certain the next page would have her inner monologue as she thought back on how she got into this position. But instead it cuts away, us seeing absolutely nothing from Historia, and I'm back to thinking she really has no agency anymore. Even if she is super important in the ending and a pivotal player in determining the state of the world after the rumbling, it won't be worth what she's been reduced to. To be fair, she was in one scene in Return to Shiganshina, no scenes in Marley arc, and this arc... well, we know how she's been treated. So maybe I should have seen this coming, but it was still disappointing for Isayama to hint that she will have a role this arc like in Uprising arc, only for that to be a breeding machine.

Why Historia was crying when she was having a child?

She finally is realizing the regret of the pregnancy decision and that she once again chose something she didn't necessarily want to do.

her life was always miserable and I don't believe that she will get some ray of light. She was the happiest when she had Ymir by her side. Now, even if she survives and has her child with her, she will always feel the heavy weight of her decision and the blood of millions innocent people will always stay on her hands.

I'm dropping the series after this. It just hurts seeing a queer-coded character like Historia constantly being beaten and reduced to literally nothing. First it was Ymir's death. Then Zeke's plan that involved her having children to be eaten by them (WHY NOT HAVE ZEKE IMPREGNATE WOMEN? WHY MUST IT BE THE QUEER FEMALE CHARACTER?? WHO'S ALSO THE QUEEN?). Then all the talk about her as a mere breeder, as a not-so-walking womb. Then the awful, awful ship-tease with Eren. Then her not opposing Eren's plan?? This is just it. I was holding onto the fake pregnancy, but now I envy the people who dropped the series once they saw the first panel of her pregnant.

I am tired of Tumblr crying over Historia. You are taking this pregnancy plot way too seriously. Newsflash: women don't automatically lose their agency when they get pregnant, kinda problematic of you to think that's what's going on. Historia has a plan and we will hear it

I think this may be a HUGE death flag for her. I mean if he can kill Sasha off with a gun says who histortia can’t be killed off by child birth?

I DONT WANT HER TO DIE

Historia gets what she deserves. She agreed to help Eren and now A LOT of innocent mothers and children is losing their lives in the rumbling. Historia has their blood on her hands and she won't be free from it. I don't feel sorry for her, at all.

If there's any character, besides Eren, who has humanity's blood on their hands, it's Historia, and her labor acting as a prelude to the moment that will decide the fate of humanity is incredibly poetic.

Hisu's baby is definitely having a titan inherited. So someone with titan powers will die in the final battle.

Don’t care about her

Well I guess she aint faking it after all

She's committing to the bit. There's no baby, it's all an act

WHO IS THE FATHER AAAAAAAAAA

Why did she want this child?

...all i can think is why does yams draw mouths/teeth like that? it’s so weird...

WHICH OF THE NEW LOCALS HAVE YOU FOUND MOST INTERESTING? 1,669 Responses

We get to see new corners of the earth… just before seeing them crushed. 37.3% found the cliffside of chaos to be the best, 31.3% enjoyed seeing Onynakopon’s London-esque homeland, and 23.9% enjoyed the scenery of the shrines in what could be Hizuru.

the panel with the people praying in the shrine was amazing also the cliff, these rumbling chapters are really dark yet visually beautiful (maybe I'm sick for finding it beautiful lol). "

The Titans drove Pennywise off that cliff

I really liked how it shows the different places where the rumblings is effecting like the Snk London etc

I’m a little confused about the timeline and placement of the cliffs and where the Titans are. Can someone explain how the Titans were seen pushing people off the cliff sides (also how were so many people herded into the middle of nowhere to be shoved off the cliffs?) and then also seen heading toward the fleeing Eldian/Marleyans? Are those two different places, a montage, etc? Do we suspend some disbelief to take in the apocalyptic scene of people falling from the cliffs into the sea? The opening scenes had me a bit turned around.

These shots where absolute nightmare fuel and they did an amazing job at showing how horrifying this situation is

HOW DO THE DEPICTIONS OF THE RUMBLING IN THIS CHAPTER, INCLUDING THE CROWD HOLDING THE BABY AWAY FROM THE CLIFF, RANK IN TERMS OF DARK MOMENTS INVOLVING CHILDREN? 1,652 Responses

Let’s just rename the series “In the Depths of Despair”. 39.2% think this chapter ranks near the top of the darkest moments in the series, 28.1% think Ymir’s daughters cannibalizing their dead mother is the darkest, while 19.1% hold to the other incredibly dark rumbling chapter we got with Ramzi and Halil.

All are equally dark.

Eternal winner is Udo trampled to death by a crowd while trying to save crushed Zofia

Every scene of children's deaths are all gruesome. Not one tops each other.

the mother throwing her baby away hoping to save them made me feel something and it broke my heart

I didn't think the cliff scene was that dark tbh, it was actually faintly uplifting. Though I also felt that way after reading chapter 131, so maybe I think that about any tragedy Isayama depicts.

Kruger saw his entire Family burn to death

It's a dark moment but I also think it's sort of hopeful, that humanity isn't completely fucked and they're all eager to try save this child rather than let it fall and die.

The entire imagery of masses of people barely hanging for their lives at the edge of a cliff is so abyssmal and daunting. This is seriously peak bleakness SnK. I still can't believe that there are people that support Eren after this.

he opening panels of the Rumbling were some of the most horrifying so far, especially the one with the baby.

This was, to me, possibly the single most powerful moment in the ENTIRE series -- and that's not something I say lightly.

Very little about this manga shocks me anymore. This moment is really no worse or better compared to every other disturbing scene

All the above are horrendous. I cannot choose.

TV Tropes has an entry called Darkness Induced Audience Apathy and that pretty much sums up my feelings at this point. Everything is so unrelentingly bleak and miserable that I’m rapidly losing my ability to care about these characters and what happens to them anymore.

The Rumbling; Yam's biggest middle finger to the world. Can't wait for this shit to end so my life can continue. Forever Yeagerist, because I am free, and Floch did nothing wrong.

THE GENERAL AT FORT SALTA GAVE A SPEECH ABOUT HATE AND MISTAKES, WHAT DID YOU THINK OF IT? 1,663 Responses

In the face of annihilation, the general stationed at Fort Salta has an epiphany on the path that brought everyone there. A solid 60% of respondents thought it was a great speech – it covers perhaps the grandest theme of the final arc of the story and someone needed to hammer home the message. 27.3% liked the message of the speech but thought it was a little too ham-fisted for the moment, but 6.8% just thought it was silly.

The general at Fort Salta’s words were really... desperate. It showed the truth of Eren’s rampage as the founding and I think it showed that Eren was more than what he hoped to become. He shows no pity now: I don’t even think he cares about the 104th and co. anymore. Really dark and I’m living for it.

The parts with no speech was great. Isayama is great with visuals which I love. The Marleyan speech was very cringe unfortunately.

Great to see the world let go of their hatred for the enemy. Still, Eren's stubborn charge is pissing me off!

FUCKING FINALLY. All this bullshit and guilting of the children and Eldians and we finally get SOMEONE owning up that their bigotry is the fucking problem here. And of course, too fucking late. But that seems to be how real history is

Nothing unrealistic about desperate people about to die thinking of second chances.

Great message, but would've meant more if it came from a more significant character such as Magath

Great speech showing that people always have the biggest realization when it's already too late and you can only count on miracles

I think it was honestly fine, but one tiny change could have been made to make it flow more naturally and not be so jarring to so many people: Rather than having the general talk about "us adults", and how "we" used hatred, I think it would have been more natural if he only talked about himself. This is a very common trope in war movies, and we're all capable of reading in between the lines and understanding how what he says applies to the different characters and the world as a whole. For him to point it out for us is a little jarring

hammy, but on theme

I feel like it's isayama's way of forcing his audience to understand his narrative by spelling it out for us. indicating that he has failed as a writer to just make his narrative naturally understood

IF the rumbling get stopped are they gonna still gonna keep their promise

In context it is fine, but I'm cautious about it being the end solution.

It was a desperate man's final words, and it showed.

It was a fitting speech that showed the Marleyans were finally ready to let go of their hatred towards the Eldians. It also felt like last-ditch speech to try to move Eren into reconsidering flattering the whole world with the Rumbling, but knowing Eren, the speech wouldn't sway him at all.

It was way to convenient and unrealistic for the general and the liberio Eldians to realize that they were wrong and I hope they die. That is all.

It was good to see they realized how terrible they were but as a wise man once said... “It’s too laaate to apologiiize. It’s too laaaaaaaate! Ay. Ay. Ay.”

Its good because its shows the message of the series of trying to stop the cycle of hate by either changing our actions or by sacrificing others for the "greater good". Placement is not bad tho, the general is realizing it is the true end

It’s okay, everyone has their own opinion. The general's opinion just happened to be like that.

I understand it, but I’m also bothered by the suggested idea that it took total annihilation to make people decide to finally “be considerate” of each other. It also feels very black and white to me, some of the subtleties of this whole situation was lost I think.

It was a great speech and super satisfying moment to see non-Eldians recognize how they played a part leading up to this, but there's no guarantee there won't be residual hatred for Eldians once all of this is over.

i honestly loved it. i don't mind the cheese one bit

KARINA THINKS BACK TO A YOUNG REINER AND REGRETS HER ACTIONS AS A MOTHER. WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT THIS? 1,659 Responses

There are many bad parents in SnK, and Karina has certainly been one of them. The majority of fans accept her seeking redemption, while 25% think it’s too little too late. 20.8% are willing to give her a chance if she proves she means it through her actions.

I liked the moment between Karina and Mr. Leonhardt. Awful parents unite. XD At least they showed a change of heart, even if it was too late.

Felt like she just wanted to live a normal life

Anyways, Karina saved the chapter. We've seen a more logical character evolution than in Annie's father, and at least she got to see Reiner again.

IF the rumbling stopped are they still gonna keep their promise

the attempt to make me feel sympathy for Karina Braun was just obnoxious

Only took advantage of the boy

I’m glad Reiner mom is realizing her mistake of using her son as a tool but there’s not really much she can do.

Fuck Karina in particular.

Am I the only one who thought that Karina and Mr Leonhart looked good together? 😳

WHAT DID KARINA MEAN WHEN SHE SAID THAT SHE USED REINER AS A TOOL OF REVENGE? 1,653 Responses

Karina mentions that she only ever used Reiner as a tool for revenge. 31.1% think he was a tool to use against her former lover, 19.1% think he was primarily a tool for Marley, but 47.9% believe it to be a mix of both purposes.

All of the above and perhaps just a general narcissistic “I’ll show all of you how special I am by proxy of my child. Reiner being a Warrior means I am a Good Mother TM”

Reiner was a tool to make Karina feel like she had worth in a world where everyone, from the man she may have loved to her nation to the rest of the world was telling her she was worthless.

Karina hated Paradis' Eldians for "abandoning" her and the others to the mainland and wanted revenge on them for that.

Clearly revenge on his father and if anyone thinks Karina intended on Reiner being used to get revenge on Paradis is really reaching to villify Karina.

She said it on panel: Why did Karl Fritz leave them in Marley's power?

I believe it's "both of the above", but with the revenge on Paradis being from Karina, not Marley, as an allegory for Reiner's father. She always talks about how Paradis abandoned the Eldians on Marley, and I figured this was her way of expressing the sorrow and anger at Reiner's father for abandoning her and Reiner. So she did believe Paradis were devils who abandoned them, but that was fuelled by her personal issue

I didn’t and still don’t understand what Karina means by revenge.

It was both but also to give herself a higher status given her self-hatred.

WHAT IS THE BEAST TITAN WE SAW? 1,668 Responses

That was unexpected! The Beast Titan showed up, but not in a way we saw anyone predict. A very close tie between it being Zeke’s beast being controlled/manipulated and it being a War Hammer formation created by Eren, with the former just edging out the latter. 14% believe Eren can make titans however he wants via the Founding Titan/paths, and 2.4% think this was just straight up Zeke.

Don’t know, very confused. But whenever I don’t clearly see the eyes of a character, I usually feel like something fishy is going on....

Eren ate zeke and took his power.

Eren using the WHT to generate a Zeke dummy, using Zeke's titan blueprints.

I think he used the Founding Titan powers, not the WH. Ymir/the founding titan is the one that builds the titan forms so I think that makes more sense.

I do believe eren is controlling him since his titan was attached to eren at the neck, and then reiner broke that off.

I think it's Zeke being mind controlled and treated like a puppet by Eren.

I think Zeke is crystalized somewhere in the Founders body and Eren is using him to create a zombie Beast Titan.

It could be Zeke in there, it could be a clone. Nonetheless it's a puppet and he still needs Zeke to do a complete exact rendition.

It took Eren all three powers of the Founder, WHT, and Beast Titan, combined to pull this off. The WHT alone can create anything with hardening but i doubt it could create another titan moving by itself.

It's obviously a War Hammer construct, but I can't stop laughing at the idea that the Alliance don't realise how vastly different he looks. It kind of reminds me of when they would go "There's no opening in the Armored Titan's armor, it's covering everything" even though there's clearly spaces in between where you can see the red muscle

YFW another Beast Titan clone shows up next chapter

if monke isn't a Warhammer construct, where the heck does he get those rocks?

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT EREN SEEMINGLY CONTROLLING THE BEAST? 1,656 Responses

So we’ve discussed what you think the Beast is, now what do fans think of the development from a narrative standpoint? Most fans are happy with this development finding it cool and surprising, with 17.9% being happy just to see monke again. 12.1% feel it’s another ability coming out of nowhere, and 9.4% don’t like Zeke being handled this way. 4.4% think Zeke is in full autonomy, which is somehow 33 more people than when that was an option last question...

ZEKE DEAD IN BEAST TITAN BODY AND EREN CONTROLLING HIM

I just wanna see Zeke :(

I was so happy to finally see Zeke but all along it was just a puppet Beast Titan :(

If Zeke is just going to be a mindless powerup for Eren to keep Levi or Reiner busy, he'd better have been dead. We already had the Warhammer doing that job, why this again?

Tired of the Eren OPness to be honest, its stale and old and overall poorly writter. It's clear from the start Isayama's willing to bend backwards to not only power up Eren randomly but to try and justify everything he does.

THE ALLIANCE CONTINUES TO FOCUS ON ZEKE DESPITE EREN STANDING WITH YMIR IN THE PATHS REALM LAST CHAPTER. WHY HAVE NONE OF THE CHARACTERS MENTIONED HER? 1,650 Responses

Despite us fans freaking out every time we see Ymir, the alliance doesn’t seem to care. 43.9% believe they’ve just been a little too busy to focus on the minutiae of the lore, while 39.5% just have no idea. 11.1% don’t think they saw her standing there in the first place.

Did any of them really know who the little girl was?

Easier to focus on what they know than what they don’t

Do they recognize her! Are they familiar with the iconography of this creation story? Either way, they’re probably at the “Oh look, Eren’s in his child body and standing with a little girl who is the progenitor of our race. This might as well happen.”

I'm pretty sure they at least discussed it and formed a plan in the plane

They don't wanna face the fact they have to kill Eren, plus killing the beast titan may be easier than killing the founding titan

They still are still not as informed of the relationship between Eren and Ymir, their first goal is to rid the connection of royal blood to Eren preventing further destruction

Wait, are you saying we as the readers can see Ymir but the others can't? in that case, Ymir may have appeared multiple times throughout this mess and yet we've only seen her for Ramzi's death and when the alliance were in paths…

Only Eren can see Ymir since he has the founding Titan, as well as Zeke since he has royal blood. The rest can see Eren because he has the founding Titan and is connected to all Eldians and Ackermanns via paths.

seems like they hold Zeke more accountable to the rumbling than Eren himself. Yeah I get it, he's their friend. But fuck that, humanity is at stakes, and when Zeke turned against the warriors, they accepted that they had to kill him, even if they didn't wan't to (especially Pieck), even if he was their comrade and leader, even if they grew up together, because it needed to done.

They’re saving it for when they discuss Levi’s hand

They're like Ramzi -- they have no bloody idea who this loli is.

Nothing to do with the question but I'm bummed the official translation for this image was not "THAT FUCKING MONKEY!" like earlier ones

Alliance are stupid Motherfuckers

THE BLIMPS CERTAINLY TRIED THEIR BEST, HOW WOULD YOU RATE THEIR PERFORMANCE? 1,646 Responses

Surprising no one (except for 5.6% of you from last month who predicted the blimps would deal a decisive blow), Eren tore through the bombing fleet like it was nothing. On a 1-5 scale from “Abysmal” to “They tried their best, okay?”, the plurality of you have decided to lend some sympathy to the squadron, with some erring on the side of neutrality. Low expectations seem to have prevented disappointment, as not many people are criticizing them in the write ins either.

as a WWI nerd I really disappointed by the airship "battle." Isayama has done his research on some aspects of early modern day tech (like the detail on the firearms), but then has the airships dropping what looks like submarine depth charges instead of zeppelin bombs (I was like--why are they dropping oil canisters?!) and then has the airships go down in Hollywood-style explosions from having rocks thrown on them.

WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE PART IN THE PLANE’S ARRIVAL? 1,659 Responses

35.4% of respondents loved Reiner’s dynamic entry, followed by 23.6% of respondents who loved Levi’s war cry of MOONNKEEEE. 17.1% were happy to see the image of Armin leading the charge that we’ve been expecting since hearing that final audio sample. 9.1% embrace the ongoing Avengers theme of everyone jumping into battle at once. 8.3% appreciated Onyankopon’s sweet fighter pilot moves, and 5.2% liked seeing the Eldian evacuees getting a glimmer of hope.

Finally, shoutouts to the handful of people whose favourite moment was Pieck bounding out with the bombs like a happy dog with sausage links.

This chapter was pure adrenaline. The Alliance's entrance in the plane was seriously badass. I can't wait for 135!!

Reiner with the Buddha's Palm. Respect!

I love how Levi is still so focused on killing Monke. Avenge your husband, sweetie.

Armin is finally grabbing Eren by the collar again and I like that. Safe to assume we're going to see more of the Eren vs Armin showdown now. Armin delivered a truly powerful line, "Which part of you is free" and I'm curious how Eren will respond to that

Reiner's transformation is probably my favourite one, and seeing the rest of the alliance jumping down in a tense but at the same time epic scene was priceless.

It was impossible to choose what part of the plane scene was the best, it was *chef's kiss* all of it.

PIECK TRANSFORMED AND GOT THE BOMBS IN THE CART’S MOUTH WITHOUT BLOWING THEM UP. IS THIS UNREALISTIC BASED ON THE WORLD’S RULES TO YOU? 1,602 Responses

Chekhov’s bombs are now in the hands, er, mouth, of Pieck Finger, via grabbing them from the plane and transforming into a titan while holding them. About half of fans had no issue with this, seeing that titan transformations are just summoning flesh around you. 17.5% did think the transformation explosion should have detonated them, and 30% are just wondering how she also managed to perfectly unravel the bombs midair.

Bold of you to imply Isayama cares about physics after the wet gun and the plane being ready in 5 minut... 1 hour excuse me.

Bombs are detonated through fire reacting to the gunpowder right? Do we know that the Titan's 'explosions' are made from fire?

Pieck has probably done this many times before, the cart titan is mainly used as a war mule after all.

She's just very very gentle ok ?

Cart titan has experienced in carrying things in different situations and the explosives shown could be improvised. Also, these types are initiated with fire and will not explode with any impact occurred.

I assumed that she let go of the bombs, transformed, then caught them. This does not bother me in the slightest.

I think it's kinda like Eren with the spoon, the objective was holding it, which is why it wan't damaged when Hanji noticed it. Same thing with Pieck and the explosives.

Rule of Cool, doesn't matter either way to me.

No, Cart Titan is especially a strange titan to begin with and a use for delicate and ambushing situations(read the chapters where Pieck transport Bertold in a barrel before the attack on Paradise)

It's kinda unrealistic, but falling from 50 meters with all your body burned and survive is way worse.

WAS THIS THE START OF REINER’S HELOS MOMENT? 1,615 Responses

Reiner being Helos has been a popular theory for a while, and now he seems to be acting as a hero to those left at Fort Salta. 54.4% believe this is the start of Reiner embodying the idea of Helos, while 12.9% are holding out for if he kills Eren. 27.9% don’t believe Reiner to be connected to Helos in any way.

Appeared as a small hope

Are people really still going on about Helos?

can he kill Eren? If he can, then hes Helos

H E L O S

What is Helos

Half-Eldian, half-Marleyan -- he represents so much more than Helos ever did.

He could be Helos, but I think Armin will be the one to save humanity, but Reiner can join him

I dont really like the whole X is helos thing, reiner definately is acting the part of the hero but i think its more redemption for reiner than trying to be some kimd of savior of humanity and i think that fots his character better.

The real "Helos" is not just Reiner, but the whole alliance.

He going to be Helos not when he kills Eren, but when he makes a sacrifice of some sorts.

He's not Helos, and will never be, but he is definitely a big hope

Who is Helos

Reiner does not deserve to be a ‘Helos’

HELL YEAH REINER

He'll do something sick

Helos was a fake hero, just a mask. Their is no comparison with Reiner's journey to maturity..

I won’t compare him to Helos. But this is sure a hero moment

Captain Suicide to the rescue

I think he’s helos but it’s gonna be armin who saves the day

I’m not sure if he’ll be helos but he’s still going to be essential to the story

Helos was a hollow and fake historical figure made up to push the "Eldians are evil" narrative. Reiner, on the other hand, is someone who was raised with a hatred for Eldians and committed atrocities because of it, but came to face his past actions and save the world as a true hero. Reiner isn't Helos, he's so much better than that.

WITH THE BEAST TITAN THROWING AT THE PLANE AND SKYDIVERS INDISCRIMINATELY, IT SEEMS LIKE EREN IS OK WITH KILLING ANY OF HIS FRIENDS. THOUGHTS? 1,630 Responses

The question of how far Eren would go to achieve his goal of freedom has plagued the community for a while, and this chapter seemingly confirmed his willingness to even kill his friends, as seen by the deadly projectiles that the alliance only narrowly avoided. 61.8% of respondents aren’t surprised by this, despite Armin and Mikasa, who were in the line of fire, being voted as very unlikely for Eren to willingly kill last month. While 16.6% were indeed shocked by this, 19.1% believe this can be explained away by Eren knowing his friends aren’t in any serious danger.

Eren has to kill everybody, the rest of the world and if they don't stop even the alliance. Otherwise this story will be worse then Game of Thrones Season 8.

Scared that eren is fine with killing the friends he wants to protect

ARMIN SEEMS TO RECALL THE 112 CONVERSATION WHEN HE SAYS HE WANTS TO ASK EREN ONE MORE QUESTION HE WON’T LIKE, “WHAT ABOUT YOU IS FREE”. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? 1,636 Responses

Eren’s quest for freedom and Armin’s quest for understanding come to a head in this chapter’s cliffhanger question from the latter: “What about you is free?” More of you think he is still in the reasoning stage (37%) than those who think the question was an affirmation of his determination to say goodbye to his old friend (30.1%). Some of you think the callback to chapter 112 is indicative of Armin believing Eren to be controlled in some way (27.6%).

Armin is trying to manipulate Eren like what he did with Berthold but I think he will 100% fail .

Armin is really being built up here for an amazing redemption. These last three chapters we've seen him carefully being inserted into the pivotal role in the series just like in RtS. I'm 90% confident the biggest plot twist of the entire series is coming, and Armin is the catalyst as he's always been for every amazing moment in the show prior to chapter 91. I think the ending is going to blow everyone out of the water, and that everyone predicting a side to win is missing entirely how the manga will end.

I'm so happy to see that Armin is basically done coddling Erin. He's ready to take him out, especially since he's become the commander

in line with what kenny ackerman said, armin thinks eren is a slave of his own obsession.

Please stop blaming Eren for everything, he needs Help. It makes me sad to see Eren has to face his best friends, and I dont like Armins way of confronting him, it looks like Armin has erased his memory of his best friend…

He's a fucking clown, I can't stand his shit. Still selfishly trying to talk Eren out of it when he's causing the fucking apocalypse and asserted many times that no, he won't stop. Who cares about Eren's vision of freedom when he's killing millions of people ? Just nuke him, you're supposed to be the colossal titan ffs

Their ideas clash at the moment. However, Armin still believes that his friend behaves unnaturally and won't let go until he discovers the truth.

we have continuously witnessed Eren being a hypocrite it makes perfect sense why he would say that

We need Armin's POV to know if he's now fully prepared to kill Eren or not

What I think is that armin might think that eren is being controlled by the attack Titan

Perhaps to get a rise or reaction out of him? Or just a cool way to introduce himself to the conflict!

that seashell fucker joke of a commander still wants to talk rather than kill him when Eren repeatedly made it clear that he won't ever stop the rumbling.

Hoping to see how this ideological conflict between Eren and Armin will end.

THIS CHAPTER HAS AN EMPHASIS ON THE SURVIVAL OF CHILDREN. WHICH ONES DO YOU SEE SURVIVING THIS CONFLICT? 1,649 Responses

This chapter’s repeated motif of humans coming together to save children, especially infants, has been noticed by many. As for what it means for the survival of the ones in this chapter, the majority of readers believe Historia’s child is in the clear (81.4%). The children at the fort appear to have much less of a chance (32.8%), but are believed to be comparatively less doomed than the baby at the cliff (26.1%). On the bright side, only about a hundred of you (7.6%) think they will all perish.

Great chapter showing the contrast between a child being born in Paradis and a child dying on the other side of the world.

Sometimes people will trample each other to escape (as we've seen in Marley), but sometimes through the mindless fear people try and protect a tiny helpless thing for a few moments. Whether the baby lives or not it was amazing imagery.

The crowd trying to save the baby from the cliff as the Wall Titans arrived was very dark, but I still think Ymir's daughters eating their own mother is still the darkest moment in the series involving the children, while the runner-up is Faye's death.

we all theorized that the final panel was Historia's child but maybe it's the baby at the cliff. Eren might actually win and destroy the world, then through the wreckage he approaches the child and picks it up and tells it that's it's free

Cliff baby is toast

While the Rumbling is still as horrible as ever, this time it didn't feel quite as hopeless as when we saw Ramzi and his brother. The baby lifting scene was chilling and yet strangely inspiring.

damn bruh seriously the poor kids

MANY CHARACTERS HAVE BEEN SHOWN TAKING ON THE BLAME FOR THE CURRENT SITUATION, INSTEAD OF POINTING TO EREN. DOES ISAYAMA WANT THE WORLD TO BE AT FAULT INSTEAD OF EREN? 1,636 Responses

With the story presenting us a complicated situation, does Isayama’s approach lead to the wrong conclusions? Almost 70% of fans believe that he wants us to view both parties as at fault for the current situation. About 17% believe the hatred of the world is squarely to blame, while 8.3% think it all lands on Eren for his own actions. 5.3% think Isayama is just really clumsy with his messaging.

this chapter makes you realise that eren is actually at fault. I used to make more excuses for him, but this chapter really sealed the deal for me atleast. No one deserves this pain. It is not marley vs eldians anymore it is everyone vs Eren.

While it makes sense for them to feel regret, I still disagree that its their fault. Like look at Grisha's parents, they didnt do any wrong to deserve this. They just lived their life the way they were told to. Thats why i dislike the argumentations. Most people just were forced to hate someone they never met, so I dont this like the speech that much.

i think isayama states that the alliance is at fault too because they decided to still fight on eren's side until it was already too late and he activated the rumbling. not because they are killing people directly.

while I think that Eren is the main culprit of the Rumbling, true peace cannot be reached if everyone acts all high and mighty ""well, it wasn't MY fault"". After all this, the whole world has to be humble and willing to work together, otherwise it has all been for nothing.

I find it weird everyone (SC, warriors, the world) is blaming themselves for everything and readers are using their pre-death laments as a confirmation that Eren is right/justified. I don't like Eren being portrayed just like the product of his context, especially because he himself deny it and many chapters exist to reforce that (100, 121, 123, 130, 131, etc). I feel nobody is treating Eren as an individual, but as a force of nature coming to punish humanity for their sins. It's uncomfortable, because he's just a person like everybody else and not a god even if he has some god-like powers.

I don’t think the narrative is on eren side, but it also doesn’t absolve the rest of the world, the narrative shows that both sides have good and bad people, innocent and guilty, how each decision affect each character, and what they feel about it all. This story is about a cycle of hate, eldia used titan power to attack the world, then the world revolted and decided to attack eldia, now eldia (eren) attacks the world again, cycles have no end unless someone interrupts it, the question is; What is the most effective way to end this cycle?

Eren already lost. He wanted protect people on Paradis, his friends and Historia but it looks like his actions only have created more sadness and misery. A lot of people on the island died when the walls collapsed and now they most likely will have a civil war. Two of his closest friends are already dead and the rest feels depressed and miserable. The things for Historia don't look good either. Even if he fully rumbles the world, he will never really save anyone.

I think genocide is the solution to stop Racism

AS THE ALLIANCE PREPARES TO FIGHT EREN, ONYANKOPON IS MAKING AN EMERGENCY LANDING WITH THE PLANE. HOW WILL THIS GO? 1,638 Responses

Onyankopon flew the alliance where they needed to go, but the plane’s in trouble and he might be as well! 44.5% think he’s going to die or has already died in a crash, 41.3% think he’ll land with injuries, and 14.2% think he’ll be a-ok and join the onlookers for the battle.

Onyankopon is probably dead but I really hope he’s not.

WHO DO YOU SEE DYING BEFORE THE MANGA ENDS? 1,602 Responses

Going into the final battle, it’s useful to have some data on everybody’s predictions, as well as a follow-up to the same question that was asked for the chapter 127 poll, back in March. The characters who were voted more likely to die than survive are led by Zeke, who has a clear majority (78.1%), followed by Connie (59.8%), Onyankopon (59.2%), Levi (57.5%) and Eren (54.6%). Coming close, but still more likely to survive according to voters, is Pieck (48.9%), Reiner (47.9%) and Yelena (44.9%). Gabi (11.5%), Falco (15.1%), Armin (16.2%) and Historia (17.4%) are expected to make it till the end.

Interestingly, as we approach the end, every single character who was present in the March poll has increased in perceived likelihood of dying. Except for one, Yelena, who dropped 6.6% in votes, perhaps due to her injury rendering her a more sidelined and subdued character. The characters that the fandom changed their mind on the most are Levi (+39.1%), Onyankopon (+37.3%) and Connie (+23.8%). The characters that have remained relatively unchanged include Gabi (+3.5%), Jean (+1%) and Kiyomi (+1%).

if he kills Jean without giving him anything important in the whole arc I'm going feral.

I really hope there’ll be no casualties to any of my favorite characters

IM FUCKING SCARED TO SEE LEVI DIE

i hope reiner didn't die untill the last chap

I sadly think everyone will die besides the main three and levi since he’s an ackerman.

ARMIN, SON, PLEASE DON'T DIE. YOU'RE THE MOST PRECIOUS LITTLE BUNDLE OF HOPE. PLEASE DON'T DIE!! 😭

WE’RE STEALING THIS ONE FROM THE WIKI. ARE YOU MORE EXCITED FOR CHAPTER 135 OR THE SEASON 4 ANIME PREMIERE NEXT MONTH? 1,661 Responses

Monthly waits between chapters are rough, but so are the years between seasons! Luckily we have both with the next chapter and the Final Season coming out within days of each other. 57.9% are more excited for the next chapter following the pretty popular 134, and 42.1% are more excited for the anime to kick off.

FINAL SEASON HYPE LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO

Can't wait to see what will happen 135 and beyond!

I am overall completely hooked on the manga chapters, and I love Eren’s characteristic traits and mental strength. I am really excited on the final season.

can't wait for the final season!! It's going to be EPIC

Super emotional, everything seems to be leading to a tragic crescendo and all of this is going to look bonkers if MAPPA adapts it well for the final season

Incrediblesuperawesomethebestimsohypedineedchapter135

Cant wait for the next chapter and the final season!!

DESCRIBE THE CHAPTER IN ONE WORD 1,181 Responses

The top 5 words used to describe the chapter this month are below. As opposed to the usual superlatives as well as a resurfacing of pain, the standout this month is monke, thanks to Zeke’s return. We seem to be fully done with the recipe shenanigans after a few months.

Amazing [60] Monke [38] Epic [36] Pain [33] Awesome [31]

ISAYAMA RECENTLY ESTIMATED THERE IS 1-2% LEFT OF THE STORY. WHAT CHAPTER DO YOU THINK THE MANGA WILL END AT? 1,657 Responses

At the statue unveiling on November 7th, Isayama dropped another clue in the ever evolving mystery of when this series will end. His new estimate of 1-2% would translate into two more chapters (!). That estimate did little to dissuade our fandom from our most popular choice of 138.

Between Isayama's comments and this chapter, I'm really afraid there's 1 volume left and Isayama might rush everything, thus giving a shitty ending for everyone.

I really hope it doesn’t end at 135, there’s no way Isayama can muster a proper conclusion out of that unless it was all a dream or some dumb shit.

I'm confused as to how there is 1-2% left. Is Isayama really going to make Eren a cold-blooded killer after all the character development, I wonder. Honestly, I constantly feel like it's going to fast and that there are some things that need to go into more detail.

I fear the ending could feel too rushed if it really ends in ~4 chapters from now.

I'm glad we're closer to the ending. I just want to leave this series behind me and never look back again.

idk but i just dont want it to end too fast😭😭😭

WHAT ARE YOU MOST HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,657 Responses

The countdown clock is ticking away but there are still plot points to be completed and mysteries to be solved. To kick off what is likely the final volume of this series, nearly half of us hope the focus next month is The Alliance vs Eren (45%). In second place with slightly over 1/5 of the fandom, is interest in Eren POV (21.7%). Falco’s Flying Titan (9.2%), Historia (9.1%) and Zeke (8.1%) fill out the remainder of the pie with the smallest fraction (5.6%) wanting to know what is up with OG Ymir.

I still want to see Eren redeemed and saved, as that felt teased too much. Eren vs Zeke also felt teased too much. I also wanted to see Historia in action again. And how will Annie and Falco fit into the equation? And what of the titan powers? And the aftermath?

Kinda want to see this conversation between Eren and Armin more than anything

I want to see more Mikasa action.

i want armin to shift into the colossal titan and give spider-eren a big smooch on the lips

I personally would like to see Historia's pov because we still haven't gotten it and I want to know if Zeke is actually dead or not

I want to see more of Historia

v excited to see Zeke again, same w historia, hope eren pov is soon, liked seeing more of the world

Has Hajime forgotten Riko or will she have an interesting role in this ending? Can she be the child's mother in the end?

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING PLATFORMS DO YOU USE TO DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,562 Responses

It’s official, after months of steady growth since we allowed multiple social media to be chosen, twitter has finally dethroned reddit on the polls as the most popular platform to discuss SNK. The more distant third place goes to real life, which managed to overtake discord again after falling behind a little last month. And 38 snapchatters now! Are you multiplying?!

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER? 479 Responses

this chapter got me fucked up.

Isayama: Hold my plum wine.

I haven’t seen anyone talk about it yet but in one of the manga panel you can see levi holding his sword in his way as if he had all his fingers back. So I think he does.

Save for chapters 130-131, the manga has been noticeably become underwhelming since 124. Like I implied above, there are many hints that this manga is going to have a GOT season 8 tier ending. Eren will be defeated and all the hate in the world will magically disappear. There will be some sort of unity between Marley and Cringevengers that brings peace to the world even though it shouldn't realistically be possible. And lastly, that baby near the cliff will end up living at the last moment and will end up being the baby from the final panel. "You are free", most likely being held by Armin or Reiner.

Go get him, Armin!

ALLIANCE HAS ME SO HYPED BYE

I wish it were longer but no thoughts my heart is heavy

I know Eren wants to destroy the world but HOLY FUCK.

I just, really hope that baby will be ok

I LOVED EVERY PANEL !!!!! I WAS FILLED WITH EMOTIONS WHILST READING 😭😭😭

I’m just really excited to see what’s gonna happen on the next chapter because everything is really chaotic and I’m just curious what’s the ending really like after years of making up theories and stories in my head.

I’m just so ready to see what’s really going on with Eren and which side will win. Also Armin is amazing in this chapter and his last question to Eren in this chapter gave me chills

I think Isayama is trying too hard to excuse Eren. Despite everything, he exterminted humanity instead of saving it. Other have gone trhough worst and would never have gone that far.

I’m not sure how to word it for English isn’t my first language, but it’s kinda sad to see a fictional world realize their mistakes/bad things they’ve done and how hatred can affect things

is the baby in the final panel (the « you’re free » one) the one that was saved or historias??? 😳

I'm so tired.

I think it will be more clear if we got eren pov sooner

I think that it doesn't make any sense if Isayama gave us Historia in labor for nothing. I want to know more about her and her baby, how have they been all these times after the squad left the island and before the rumbling. And Zeke, too. We haven't seen him for a while so i'm glad that he's back, but i think he's under Eren's control now. The chapter is kinda short for me. It's gonna perfect if we have more scenes of Historia and her baby, or at least Zeke's POV.

I think that we will have a lot of deaths in the next chapter

I think the current titan shifters will die. And then it will be reborn by historia's child. In short, the titan shifting powers won't end

I think this will end bittersweet at best

I think what Eren will do when seeing his friends are fighting him. Does him will hurt them back

Big fan of seeing Historia again, and that baby being held up is a very chilling image we haven’t seen the likes of for a few months.

I think with all the hype, it still was a setup chapter and I think the last 4-6 chapters will be monstrous and very bitter sweet.

I think zeke is there but only partially controlled, but the titan is formed by warhammer capability

I thought it was a very good chapter to end the volume off of. Now I expect the next 4 final chapters to be amazing Isyama writing we are use too.

I thought that it was interesting because we got to see zeke again and the alliance going to try to save eren and to fight again

I thought that that eren will go back to mikasa

I want a goodass ending

Rumbling hits Hiruzu but the base is still there? That can't happening at the same time.

SADDDDD

i have no idea I just stressed out with this chapter.

Safe pregnancy for Historia

THAT FUCKING MONKEY 🐒

the art is amazing but i'd like to see more dialogue

so much happened in a single chapter, i can't believe we're reaching the end

I've been here since 2013, and it's finally at the final volume, AND I'M NOT READY! ALL HAIL ELDIA! ALL HAIL EREN!

Isayama's art keeps evolving every month, it was live watching anime key frames before any color was applied.

it made me cry so much i hope it will have a happy ending

It was a rollercoaster of hype and regret lmao

yams says fuck dem kids

Can’t wait to see this animated

It was awful. All those big questions without answer... And I hate what he did with Hisu. I hate it as a woman.

It was cool like always hope isayama feels good like we do

It was cool, but it had some cheesy moments. Does the title suggest that History is in despair too? Is she having complications in her labor or is feeling guilty because of the rumbling? Or both?

It was cruel, it made me uncomfortable, I don't understand Isayama's joy in drawing scenes of suffering without a reason. And Historia, wow, I don't even know what to say, I still don't understand why she's pregnant.

wondering why she’s giving birth 2-3 months earlier, and why she lied to the mps. Unless it’s a premature birth but I doubt it.

astonishing, astounding, surprising, bewildering, stunning, staggering, shocking, startling, stupefying, breathtaking, perplexing, confounding, dismaying, disconcerting, shattering.

At last the end is near, but despite that the ending is not clear, it can end in so many ways but I don't think Isayama will disappoints us.

Avengers will beat the bad guy.

The biggest victims are always innocent children and that's the darkest and saddest part for me.

Great setup for the final battle, and that cliff scene broke me.

i tilt with helos theories :)

Armin and company, except Mikasa, are NOW ready to fight Eren to the death. Eren is also prepare to finish what he started, no matter who dies. Final result could go either way as Falco, Gabi, and Annie will come eventually, and their arrival will turn the tide one way or the other.

I hope armin and the gang can get through to eren :(

I hope eren kills them all

i hope eren win, to show the consequence of hatred

I just don’t care anymore

I just dont want that if the alliance wins, the marleyans and other races forgive eldia because that does not even make any type of sense

If it somehow wasn't clear before, this manga's message is about peace. It is NOT some n*zi propaganda, and it never has been. This chapter perfectly conveyed that.

Confusing but interesting alliance is making me angry they don’t understand Eren still think he’s being controlled

When a host for one of the Nine Titans dies without being devoured, their powers are transferred to an Eldian child through Paths. If one, some or all of the Nine Titan holders die during the current battle, would it be possible that the newborn, which is also of royal blood, inherits the Titan power?

Death Flags for Armin give me joy…

Why are men so afraid of letting lesbians be lesbians

did eren awake? will the wall titam fall off the cliff because it sweeps the area there? i always think about this, does eren have any secret plans behind this rumble? lol maybe, find a path tree and destroy it? lmao

downer chapter, I expected something better for the chapter where we see the final audio at last

Eren already won.

Eren and the rumbling is reminding me of Shin Godzilla

Eren best character

Eren goat, hisu goat

Eren holding his and historias baby in final panel seems more and more likely

EREN IS 100% THE FATHER AFTER THIS CHAPTER, IT'S NO LONGER EVEN A DEBATE

EreHisu would ruin the series

Eren, please stop the Fucking rumblimg. You killed A lot of innocent people.

Eren's eaten Zeke, and that's why he can form and control a beast titan. Sorry Levi, the only person that your gonna beat up is Eren yet again.

eren’s face with this dino titan just creeps me the fuck out, and i don’t look forward to the transformation being animated.

It was definitely surprising for me when I saw historia while some people predict she will die when giving birth although that could be a possibility I see her dying due to either old age or somehow her inheriting the beast titan since the Ymir curse exists

It was epic!

It was great but can we see eren and Mikasa moments in the upcoming chapters before the manga ends and also show some light on how to cure ymir's curse and stuffs

It was great to see Historia again.

It was necessary to show all the chaos Eren is doing, and i'm so excited to see the Alliance fight him!

It was really good set up for 135

all the violence !! Like was this even necessary ?? No ! Too much violence just "kills" the whole thing ! Damn it was just awful and a waste of time to read for me !

This is probably going to be the most disturbing episode in the show's history once it gets animated, even if it's heavily censored. I wouldn't be surprised if they end up having to put a disclaimer at the beginning as well. I can already see it now, God this is going to be insane...

This is the first chapter that has really felt like the end REALLY is here. The gang is engaged in battle with Eren, there is no turning back from this point. They will either succeed, or perish in the attempt.

This story used to have the character growth and the plot at the center of the focus. I'm sad that it is all blown away in favor of cheap spectacle.

This won't end well, for anyone. I know Isayama has something significant planned for Historia's baby (my pet theory is that all the titans will die without heirs, be recombined with OG Ymir, and then she can finally be reborn and GTFO of PATHS), but thanks, I hate it.

Armin already grew up. he was from a coward child and now he is a brave man. i wanna cry

Geez, I hope the alliance can stop eren

This is all a series of bad plot choices falling like domino. Are things gonna work out once we get to final revelations? Probably. Is it gonna feel earned? At this point I doubt it. I miss the passion in this story. Char. develp. has never been the finest but they've always been human. Historia's a uterus. Eren just cares about his freedom. Dialogue falls flat as if Isayama didn't believe in what he writes and he's trying so hard to force feed the reader. If the rumbling is the final stop why was half of this necessary when it gave no closure to any character? But if it isn't, we deserved a real build up of events.

Zeke finally back but we still didn't know if he being controlled or willingly

Zeke is not being controlled and instead helping his brother, Eren is going to win and killed some of his friends, Levi is going to survive, Historia is going to survive with her baby and showed up at the final chapter. That's all I'm sure at this point. Mark my words.

it was sad

It was so cool but very chaotic I feel like I need a flashback or something or a tiny break.

It was so depressing, I can't imagine how Isayama would end this manga in only 1-2 chapters, it definitely need more

Omg this chaoter make me cry and relived, im just relieved that marleyan know they are wrong, that paradis not a devil blooded

one of the best chapters

Poor pacing and seems like a lot of unnecessary convolutions to the overall message

Pure masterpiece! Thanks Isayama

The chapter is fine but ,The story is leading to an obvious ending .I want to be wrong about that . I want a satisfying end . But part of knows that is not possible , let's watch isayama handle this shitshow he created.

The chapter leaves you with just the right question.

ERREEHH REINEERR!!???

Even if I don't want many people to die, I think that everyone will die, humanity will go extinct :(

Ever since 133, it's two chapters which have amazing elements but ultimately falls off as dissapointing. The plot needs to move forward. I thought we were going to have Bertholttalk and Ackertalk. 132 was such a masterpiece of a chapter that it becomes a let down.

Everyone told Eren early on that he'd have to abandon his humanity to make a difference, to save Paradis- especially Armin. Regardless of whose on which side, its ironic that now Armin is the one who can't accept this.

Excitement😎

There are two panels where Levi and mikasa are showing a shocked expression, idk if it’s just coincidence but can this possibly be relating to the Ackerman instinct?

This chapter is amazing good job isayama thx for a another masterpiece chapter

This chapter is really intense. Also, I wish I could've seen Zeke's POV.

Waiting for royal blooded Armin

was good until it spoke

We miss you, Hange, fly high our angel

We're finally at the final showdown boys and girls

We're truly at the beginning of the end for my favorite anime/manga series, huh?

What a series!

What happens with Yelena when either Falco or Annie transforms on the ship? Kiyomi said she‘s ready to sink with it but Yelena?

i hope eren isn't the father

What’s up to come seems uncertain.

Where is Ymir

falco or annie is definitely gna come flying in sooner or later

I really hope we don’t get a peace treaty ending.

I really hope we get a good ending... not happy necesarily....but good.....

I really just don’t care anymore. Yet I come back for more every time. Curse my completionism nature.

I really liked it. Definitely worth the month wait.

I really love the detail from this chapter and my favourite was when seeing Isayama drawing all those colossal titans and those people being crush. That's so amazing.

The end is near. I think we'll see Eren's next (final) POV in the final chapter.

Very cinematic, impressive setup/start to the alliance vs Eren fight

Very devastating

WHY is historia pregnant? (idc about father) Please give us the real answer yams! It was nice to see final audio. I loved Armin’s final comments and can’t wait to see the EMA confrontation.

Wonderful chapter, it's nice seeing another of Armin's plans. Reiner decking the beast titan was hype. The babies and the rumbling were a great juxtaposition too.

Would love to see if eren is really being controlled or if he’s willingly doing this to be stopped and perhaps killed?

I still wanna hope Hänge IS alive

i still wanna know how the hell eren's titan moves forward. the only thing i can imagine is some of the big bois carrying him. i can't get over it

I suffer

#snk poll #snk polls #snk chapter 134 #snk 134 #snk poll results

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paranoia-assault · 3 years

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Fate/Stay Night Review

I've been meaning to get around to this for a while, so this post will contain my thoughts on Fate/Stay Night. I'll be going in order of how you're supposed to play the routes. Massive spoilers btw. Also this is copied over from Twitter, so sorry for any weird formatting.

Keep in mind I enjoyed every route, so any negative points I bring up never made me think the route wasn't worth reading. That said, UBW > HF > Fate, so we'll be starting with my least favorite route.

There's 2 reasons why the Fate route is my least favorite. The first is that is has to explain a lot, so it feels like not much happens in it compared to the other two routes. The second is Shirou's "girls can't fight" bullshit. I can't stand Shirou in the 1st half of the route. Shirou does get better, but this is probably my least favorite version of him. I cannot stand every moment he tries to hold Saber back from fighting and almost gets himself killed because "girls can't fight." It is extremely aggravating.

That said, Shirou is fantastic in the second half of the route. The Fate route is Saber's story, and he plays the perfect part in it. His dream of being a super hero goes perfectly with her wish of being a great king. Seeing these ideologies clash, then come together, is amazing. It's why I like the Shirou/Saber ship despite Shirou/Rin being my favorite. These two were practically made for each other. Last Episode only adds to this, and it made me retroactively like the Fate route more. Saber's ending was beautiful and their eventual reunion even more so.

Illya was also great as a villain. I do think Gilgamesh and Kirei both have routes where they shine better as villains, so when I think "the villain of the Fate route," it's Ilya who comes to mind. Berserker was the perfect threat, and the two together were genuinely terrifying.

Summed up thoughts on the Fate route: Good starting point. A bit slow, and Shirou is very annoying in the first half, but the Saber/Shirou dynamic in the second half makes the route worth playing. 7/10.

Time for my favorite route: Unlimited Blade Works. I fucking adore this route. When I think "Fate/Stay Night," this is the route that comes to mind. If I were to recommend one route, it would be this one. I even plan on watching the anime for it at some point.

The main reason I love this route is Shirou. UBW Shioru specifically is one of my favorite Fate characters. He is confronted with a massive challenge to his ideals. He's pretty much shown they're flawed. But rather than toss them aside, he strengthens his convictions. He denies his future self, determined to be different. Yeah, his ideals might have flaws, but why should that matter? Carrying on Kiritsugu's dream is meaningful to him. The pain is worth saving those he can. Even if it's a thankless, miserable task, he won't turn away from it.

Oh, and let's talk about Archer. I love him. Seeing a pessimistic side of Shirou, a potential result of his ideals, was fascinating. I was genuinely shocked when the twist happened, and it made me deeply appreciate Archer's character. Archer is another of my favorite F/SN chars.

Now, let's talk about my favorite F/SN character, Rin. Rin is great. She was trained to understand and accomplish what has to be done, but has a soft spot not unlike Shirou's that leads her to help others. She had a painful upbringing, but doesn't regret a second of it.

She is the perfect foil for Shirou. She recognizes the pain his ideals are putting him through, but rather than force him to throw them away, she decides to stay with him to make sure he doesn't push himself too far. She tries to help Shriou learn to enjoy himself. Shirou/Rin is my favorite ship in the VN for this reason. They compliment each other so well. Their personalities clash in a way that lets them both grow, and they're genuinely cute together, though you can say that last part about any of the 3 main Shirou ships.

The villains are also great. Caster isn't the same type of threat as Illya/Berserker, but her backstory and dynamic with her Master is really interesting to see. I enjoyed her moments on screen. Gilgamesh was the perfect final boss for this route though. Specifically for Shirou. Gilgamesh' powers match Shirou's reality marble perfectly. Infinite Noble Phantasms. Gilgamesh calls Shirou fake, but that leads to Shirou showing how an imitation can outclass the original. It's such a smart hero/villain dynamic, and the perfect end to Shirou's story in UBW.

Saber even gets some closure in this route, though not as much as in Fate. She gets to be Rin's Servant at the end (which I adored btw), and once again chooses to destroy the girl, moving on from her past. Also, she lives in the good ending which makes me happy.

I also need to talk about Illya. Her scene with Berserker is one of her best scenes in the entire VN. She's barely on screen in this route compared to the other routes, but somehow she made just as much of an impact with that time. I felt so bad for her in that last scene.

Summed up thoughts on the UBW route: This route is where all the characters shone their brightest. Shirou's ideals are handled perfectly, almost every Servant gets the attention they deserve, and the writing is overall high quality the entire route. 9/10.

Finally, Heaven's Feel...I think my thoughts on this route will be the most controversial, as I have very mixed feelings.

I do want to say this first. I love Sakura. She is a fantastic character, and she deserves the world. I'm glad she gets the spotlight in this route.

I also think Kirei was at his best this route. His backstory, along with his final confrontation with Shirou, were both extremely well written. He went from a despicable villain to a despicable written I love to hate. He almost stole the show as much as Sakura did, honestly.

Rider was great this route. I love the twist that Sakura is her true master, and her protective nature over Sakura was great to see. This is the only route where she manages to stand her ground against Saber for a decent period of time, too. I'm glad she lives to the end.

The highlight of the route, however, has to be Sakura and Rin's bond. Learning that they were sisters, and seeing them slowly and awkwardly get closer, is fantastic. That final confrontation between the two of them blew me away with the spectacle & Rin using the second sorcery. Of course, the hug that ended the fight was the best part. Rin realizing she can't kill Sakura after all, despite everything she said to Shirou, was beautiful. Sakura's horror at thinking she killed her sister, showing she's not a full monster yet, was tragically heartwarming.

Them bringing the sorceries in with Illya and Rin was nice. I like how we got an epilogue that took place two years after the final battle rather than a few months. There is a lot to like about this route.

...But there's also a lot I don't like.

Zouken and Assassin are just...okay villains. I don't think they're terrible, but they're not as interesting as any of the other villains in F/SN.

My main complaint is that this route introduced too much. So many elements are here that aren't even touched on in previous routes. Zouken, true Assassin, the crest worms, the true Holy Grail, Angru Mainyu, these are all elements of the route that I'm just supposed to accept only come into play under these circumstances. Sometimes it feels like they came up with it all after the other two routes were written. None of them are badly written per se, it just feels so out of nowhere that I couldn't fully get into the story here.

As for what I do think is badly written...I don't like Shirou in this route. He feels more selfish than in the others, often pushing aside others' feelings. The main moment that comes to mind is when Illya goes with Sakura. When Shirou finds her, he slaps her and yells at her, not accepting her feelings of wanting the end of her life to be meaningful. And there is no way to escape her death. The route makes that clear. Shirou also throws away his ideals for Sakura, which I don't like. The route before this one had him stick to his ideals despite being given evidence of the despair it will lead to. Yet here he tosses them aside without that, simply for one person.

Maybe badly written was too harsh. Shirou's fine, I like him more than in the first half of the Fate route, but he just doesn't seem to fit with the other instances of Shirou, and there were often times he frustrated me. Again, I did love his confrontation with Kirei though.

Now for the romance of this route. Shirou/Sakura. I'm sorry, but...I'm not a fan of this one. It's cute, even made me emotional at times. I think these two can have a great relationship. The thing is, I don't like how it happens here specifically. I think these two are way too dependent on each other, to the point that one can't live without the other. Just look at the bad ending where Rin kills Sakura and Shirou gives up entirely, or the normal ending where Sakura wastes away her life after Shirou's death. There's even a physical dependence due to the state of Shirou's body at the end of the route. It's honestly worrying how much they need one another.

I think they can grow past this, and I'm sure they do since the true end is a happy one. I don't hate their ship. It's my least favorite of the three, but I can easily see it being someone's favorite. Hell, I know someone for who it is. The ship isn't awful, just has some issues.

Back to the route as a whole, it is certainly the most ambitious, but I think they got carried away at times. It's certainly more geared toward horror as well, especially with those bad endings. Not that that's a bad thing, even if I'm not often into horror.

Summed up thoughts on the HF route: A spectacular finale to the VN, but it has a few hiccups along the way. There are a lot of great character moments and interesting ideas that make it worth the time. The true ending is beautiful as well. 8/10.

Overall thoughts on F/SN: A great time that I would recommend to anyone who can get it working on their computer. Fantastic characters and cool concepts drive what can be just decent writing at times, and the high points are really high. Definitely worth the lows. 8/10.

Quick add on for my thoughts on the prequel, Fate/Zero: An amazing first half that got me attached to so many characters, but it falls apart in the second half due to Gen Urobuchi's more problematic writing tendencies. Those have been discussed to death, so I won’t go into detail on them here, Still, the show has enough moments that make it worth watching. 6/10.

That's my experience with Fate so far. I'm about halfway through the first arc of FGO, so I'll make a thread summarizing my thoughts on each singularity when the time comes. Also I want to read Fate/Hollow Ataraxia if I can. Overall I can say I’m glad I got into this franchise, and I’m excited to engage in more Fate content.

Anyway, this review took me 80 minutes to write, and another 15 to copy over here. Clearly I’m pretty passionate about this franchise.

#fate #fate stay night #fate stay series #fate stay ubw #unlimited blade works #heaven's feel #fate stay night spoilers

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soysaucecas · 3 years

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oooh for the ask game 24, 30, and 44!

MAGPIE MY BELOVED HELLO

24. What are your favorite episodes?

The only episodes I've really watched are TMWWBK (which is my favorite episode and I'm certain would still be my favorite if I watched every single one because it has the only SPN character and the only SPN line), The French Mistake (which was funny enough but honestly in the Just Okay category for me, which makes me pretty sure I wouldn't enjoy actually watching SPN if this is one of the funniest/highest-rated eps), and Reading Is Fundamental (my best friend was watching it and asked me if I wanted to hop on Discord, I thought it might be fun to see Kevin's first introduction but instead this ep found the two of us taking like 90 minutes to get through it bc we kept pausing and screaming (derogatory) as the model minority stereotype jokes piled up and up and up... Unfortunately not a favorite even if we got Meg AND the "pull my finger" joke AND the "Sorry" shot). Other than TMWWBK, from clipping and transcript-reading, I like Wayward Sisters (who doesn't?), The Things We Left Behind (Claire!!!! Cas trying to be a dad! The diner scene aka my favorite destiel scene of all time bc being in love just looks so good on Cas! Also the parallels between Claire and Randy and teen Dean and the adults at that club in his story... woof.), Golden Time (Eileen gets to be HERE and be sad and loved and fight people with ghost powers and Cas gets to do a cool speech and a stabbing and do the Asian community a favor), and Lucifer Rising (just immensely sexy on all counts for Ruby, Sam, Cas, and myself). Also I am SO fond of Steve!Cas so I'll add Heaven Can't Wait even if I barely know anything about it.

30. What is an unpopular opinion or headcanon you have about the show?

Ooh okay hm I think. So I adore confession scene, but I don't think the "I cared about the whole world because of you" is like. The Objective Truth the way that most bloggers seem to take it. Cas was lobotomized tons of times before he met Dean, he was described as coming off the line with a crack in his chassis, he's always been the weird little angel who likes humanity too much! I don't think Dean came first, and although gay love was part of what helped Cas invent free will, he *Ruby voice* didn't need the feather to fly, Dumbo! I do think Cas believes what he says in the moment, but I also think he sorta... made himself believe it? This is probably just me deciding that cas-coding should go both ways, but like. I very much crush as a coping mechanism and I very much overascribe my actions to love because it simply seems more noble/poetic to do so. Being miserable because school is hard is cringefail but being miserable because of unrequited love is Good Shit. And I have been in unrequited love with my best friend for at least 7 years (probably 9 but I didn't realize it earlier) and if you asked I would 100% say that she taught me love and defined love for me and that she will be my first and last, but I also know that that is not entirely true; it's just the narrative that I like for myself. And I think that being in an Empty deal contingent on whether or not he LETS himself feel happy would lead Cas to do plenty of mental maneuvering, which I think involved intentional self-poor-little-meow-meow-ification via overascribing his choices and happiness to Dean (and I also think he'd already been doing that for a while just because of personal self-worth issues and because it's a nice narrative). I know as Cas's last Moment on the show it was probably written to be The Objective Truth, but I am perceiving him and I say no.

44. If you could write an episode of Supernatural, what would happen?

Oh scream okay! This is a fun one! I am going to start out with two ideas from other people:

1. Months ago Nate from the pocnatural discord had the idea of an episode from the "monster"'s perspective where the Winchesters are just clearly the antagonists while not doing anything different than they usually do. I think the idea was that all these supernatural beings live in a self-regulating community together and we have one Very Likable pov character who's a member of this community, but one of the newer members messes up one day and kills someone and the Winchesters come on a case and wreak havoc on this Very Much Functioning (there was going to be a whole rehab and reparations thing for the new member who messed up!) system and kill pov character and in the end you just HATE Sam and Dean for it.

2. It's hard to adapt anything from bad moon rising (aka my favorite spn fic) very well because the point of an Arab Winchesters season 1 rewrite is that it doesn't really work with the white characters we have now, but I think I could see a version of chapter 2 adapted as long as Haley (an Ojibwe hunter who lives in the area affected by what Sam and Dean are hunting) takes the lead. I'd especially like to see this section:

Dean laughs, a little disbelievingly. The question has never crossed his mind. “Do you like it?”

This gives Haley no pause at all. “Yeah,” she says. “I mean, it’s not really about killing monsters, though, for me. Or, it’s not always about killing monsters. It’s about community. Not violence. It’s a spiritual thing to build a home, you know?”

“Oh,” Dean says. He can’t think of anything else to say. It has never crossed his mind before that hunting could be compatible with a community.

I don't have any original episode ideas to add to the hunting discourse, so we're on to my ideas about character-driven eps. I think I would like to see a version of my sastiel possession fic (ty again for beta-ing that! you're a real one) as an ep around the time of 9.11 because Sam deserves to work through their trauma, but idk what the Dean plot should be for that. Another thing I would like very much is TFW drunk history storytime (so like. Tall Tales bass boosted), where for some reason they all need to go over what they were doing during Stanford era but each of them is telling someone else's story. It's gonna be either Sam->Dean->Cas->Sam or Dean->Sam->Cas->Dean. It starts out very funny (they all have terrible wigs and makeup in the flashbacks. Cas is Jimmy wearing a giant mask with googly eyes on it.) but as it goes on it gets increasingly sad how much these three don't really know each other.

In the Sam->Dean->Cas->Sam episode, Sam's telling of Dean's past veers wildly between "crushing pussy and killing things" and "feels like absolute shit all the time" and it's funny but Not Right and afterwards Dean goes "I didn't know you thought of me that way" and Sam says "... I am basically reading off the voicemails you left me back then" and Dean has to sit there and contend with the mythology he himself wrote for Sam to believe in. Dean->Cas provides the comedic beats for the episode as Dean awkwardly narrates Cas's Life As A Weird Little Guy who watches trees grow and heals babies and in the end Dean goes "so how did I do" and Cas is like "well actually I was either getting lobotomized or murdering people so like 3/10?" The moral of this plot line is that Dean is bi. Cas gives a fairly faithful retelling of Sam living her trans little life at Stanford and veering between trying to be Normal and being a total weirdgirl and feeling guilty and angry and happy and free. It becomes clear that Cas admires Sam a lot (but also feels like. guilt and some self-recrimination for not being that) for rebelling from their dad and exploring their queerness during a time Cas was still to his knowledge in total soldier mode, and Sam is having an a_good_soldier's Thesis 5 moment about how she failed the kid she used to be and how very sorry they are about all the things that happened to them, and Dean hates that this is the first he's hearing about so much of this but is also quite emo about the parts where Sam is struggling. The ep ends with them all in the same room not looking at each other and not knowing if they want to group hug or never talk again.

Dean->Sam->Cas episode is similar but the storytelling dissolves a lot faster as it becomes clearer way faster how much their own emotions are getting in the way. Dean is upset that Sam could leave their family so easily and probably swing a normal life, Sam keeps wondering what it would be like to live millennia just KNOWING that you were right and good and clean, and Cas is gay and veering between fitting Dean's life into a larger Righteous Man narrative and just being very tender (and sad and angry) about Dean's pain. Episode ends in a rather cathartic shouting match where they all end up apologizing to each other for many things.

Oh also I would like to see Cassie again but I don't have an episode in mind there. Also would love to see Kaia adjusting to life in Sioux Falls and befriending the others and dealing with Bad Place trauma.

tysm for the questions sorry for taking so long!

(ask game)

#ask #long post

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ariella884 · 4 years

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Voyager Book Club - February Favorite Fics

So I put forth a challenge of sorts to our Voyager Book Club. I asked everyone to pick ONE Voyager fic that they consider to be their favorite. Now, you can imagine, this is pretty freaking hard! There are so many incredible fics out there. I didn’t say it had to be the best written, or the most in character. I gave examples such as: the one you read over and over or your go-to fic, however you want to phrase it. It was pointed out that a favorite fic can change every hour based on your frame of mind and what you are in the mood to read at any one moment. I get it. Even so....I challenged everyone to only pick ONE. And they did it! Or most of them! I got around 20 different favorites picked! So here is the list of our Favorite Voyager Fics, why they were chosen and by whom. Happy Reading!!

Note: Click on the name of the fic for a link to it! Also, this list is in no particular order.

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@curator-on-ao3: ‘Fragile Things’ by @mia-cooper

“Fanfic is about exploring possibilities. That’s what put this fic over the top to be my favorite. In Fragile Things, MiaCooper examines multiple versions of one relationship, pulling different threads to see how things unravel or knit together. It’s thoughtful, it’s meta, it’s realistic as hell, it’s damn good writing — it’s MiaCooper and it’s excellent.”

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@ariella884(yep, that’s me!): ‘2013′ by PCBW (@pcbw)

“I had a hard time choosing my favorite (like most people here), mostly because as i was gathering them all from everyone else I kept seeing ones and going, ‘Oh! I love that one!’. I also didn’t want to have any duplicates so I had to change mine a couple times, that being said, 2013 is easily one of my top three (which of themselves is almost impossible to pick just one. I’m lucky that my other two were chosen already and I didn’t have to!). I love 2013 because it is a modern AU, without being a completely modern AU. No, that doesn’t make sense. But you get our Janeway and Chakotay, Starfleet officers and all, and you get them in the modern world. It’s incredible! We see the challenges they go through of being taken from everything they know and put into a world that is pretty much unknown to them. Add to that the personal differences they have to work out together. Splash in the normal challenges that we all go through when trying to live a life in this day and age (jobs, house, money, love, family, etc). This is just an incredibly beautiful story that I have read many times and will continue to read over and over. It’s also a long fic and those are my favorite because I like to get completely involved in stories!”

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@mia-cooper: ‘Deceiving’ by QuantumSilver

“Because it starts with a canon event that is absolutely devastating and shows just how devastated Janeway and Chakotay are by it (and Tuvok and Ayala as well, though they only make a brief appearance). It shows Janeway at her absolute best - every last inch the captain, going above and beyond for her crew not just physically but emotionally in spite of the absolutely gut-wrenching cost to her - and it really kicks off with one of my absolute favourite tropes: mutual pining to the Nth Fucking Degree.

It has Chakotay being every bit the commander, backing her up even though he's dying inside, and REFUSING to let her shut herself away even though he KNOWS she's going to want to murder him for pushing and pushing and pushing at her.

And then OH MY GOD, he's deliberately getting on her every last nerve just so he can wrench honesty from her because he knows if she doesn't tell him how badly he's hurt her, how she's absolutely bottomed out because of him, she will never open up to him or anyone else again.

AND THEY DRINK WHISKEY OMG GIVE ME KJ AND C UTTERLY MISERABLE AND DRINKING WHISKEY LIKE IT'S WATER AND PINING LIKE FUCK AND NOT SAYING A WORD BUT BLEEDING TO DEATH FROM THE HEART AND I WILL DIE HAPPY FOREVERRRRRRR

I'm sorry for yelling but this fic makes me want to rip off my clothes and run up and down the street screeching how everybody should read it and they are just BRUTAL with each other and they STILL do not understand, refuse to, CANNOT understand, that the other would not just die for them but MURDER WHOLE FUCKING ARMIES FOR THEM and it's tragic and devastating but then oH MY GOoOoOODDDDD

So that is my favourite fic and the one i read approximately every two months or more if i really hate my writing that day and want to torture myself with How It Should Be Done.”

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@bizships: ‘Fealty’ by MsDisdain

“My favorite story. I honestly don’t have to think about it. It’s one I always go back to.

I love the way the crew pledges their loyalty to her and the way subtle way they tell her that it’s okay that she’s happy too in that they effectively give her Chakotay for her birthday, by way of him “fighting” Tuvok(Starfleet) for her hand.”

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@arcadia1995: ‘The Space Between’ by lauawill ( @joyful-voyager)

“The Space Between is a story I return to time and time again when I'm feeling down. I like that it realistically portrays what might have happened between Janeway and Chakotay right after the returned home in Endgame. I like that no one in the J/C/7 triangle ends up being a bad guy. I like the hopeful ending and imaging what might have happened after the fade to black (lots of sex!!!)“

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@wishful-thinker-87 : ‘if you came this way’ by tree

“It’s always a go to for me, even though I don’t usually like AUs. The sex is intense and emotional. The characterization is pot on. And we get Phoebe being an awesome sister and some Chakotay/Molly bonding too. What’s not to love?!”

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BlackVelvet: ‘Bluffing the Crowd’ by @ralkana

“Even after years since i read this, just thinking about this story brings a warm fuzzy feeling to my heart and a huge silly grin to my face. I simply love it.”

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@purpledog47: ‘The Future is Ours’ by Dawn

“My favorite is most definitely Dawn’s ‘The Future is Ours. This is my one fic. It’s super long and it tells us what happened after Endgame and it has a little bit of everything in it: angst, romance, hurt/comfort, Q, babyfic, romance.”

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@amoderngirl: ‘Time and Distance’ by northernexposure

“If I am ever loosing the thread with J/C, I can always read this and I am immediately in love again.”

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@coffeeblack75: ‘Soft Light’ by northernexposure

“There are so many reasons why I love it that I can't even, haha. I'll start with: it was the first piece of fanfic smut I read, so I love it for that reason - my first time haha. More importantly, it is just beautifully, beautifully written - it's plotted beautifully, it flows beautifully and the pacing is spot on. The author has complete control over all of that & over the language, which is just used masterfully. There's so much subtley going on in this story too - the author doesn't spell everything out for us and instead draws us to the details that reveal what is important - the beginnings of these two getting to know each other. Gosh, it's so hard to articulate haha! But lines like this just make me shiver in delight for their beauty and what they reveal: "he was kissing her, with a lot more sweetness than was wise. Ah god, I could go on and on but perhaps I'll finish with my favourite bit, which is when C feels that first stab of lust & realises she might too & tests his theory by blowing softly on the back of her neck. This moment, omg, the moment is just so beautiful, so quiet, so pointed and private and intimate. You really feel that moment as if you are there. Ahhhhh :)

Also….there are two sequels to it that are equally as wonderful ;)

Oh and one more thing I adore about this story is the way that the C thinks he is lusting after KJ but it is quite obvious he loves her - even before they come together - but he hasn’t realized it yet. The way the author does this is just incredible - so deft! Everything for C is about taking care of KJ … it’s just beautiful.”

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@caladeniablue: ‘Lifeline’ by helenagray ( @picking-daisies-in-the-outfield)

“Why do I like that fic? An unfinished WIP at that (Started in 2013; last update in Jan 2019. No indication how many chapters to go.) The perfect serial story and that's part of the attraction for me.

The first chapter sets the scene: raw Janeway, alone, without the backup of her ship, her crew or Chakotay. Bare of essentials and with only her courage and intelligence and sheer determination to help her survive, and even she wonders how long those will last her.

And while we learn about Chakotay and how he seeks her while the crew has to move on, I am drawn to Janeway most of all.

The fic jumps back and forth across locations and in time from that first chapter to catch up with it again some 20 chapters later, but there is no jarring. The reader knows immediately what KJ is experiencing , but the past events that led to that situation are as important, and that's one of the many attractions of this story. No overlong flashbacks, no tedious info dump. It's all layered, making one wait for the next chapter and the next one, while knowing all the time where KJ has ended up.

The writing is gorgeous, which is a bonus. And it is pure J/C, distilled to its purest by separation. Perfect.”

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@keiraniels: ‘Bad Ensign’ (Series) by @curator-on-ao3

“Ok so I chose Curator’s ‘Bad Ensign’ because I come back to it often - - it’s such a freaking brilliant idea that I can 100% imagine being canon, and it inspired so many Voyager Bookclubbers to write Bad Ensign stories”

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@cnrothtrek: ‘War Torn’ by @curator-on-ao3

“Why? I had the pleasure of beta reading this story, and I am so glad that I did. It has a great plot, is well-written and perfectly paced, and is hard to put down. The way it pulls together two pieces of canon backstories for Miles O’Brien and Kathryn Janeway is genius. The characters feel so real and their voices can be clearly heard in the text. And the supporting characters of Captain Benjamin Maxwell, Will “Stompie” Kayden, and Molly Walsh are incredible. The story is intense, absorbing, and emotional. I just can’t say enough good things about it.”

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@theshortywrites: ‘The Dragonfly Oath’ by Koneia

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@emmikamikatze: ‘All the Good Things We Never Did’ by northernexposure

“This story brings me to tears, makes me smile and shiver and fear and worry. It's given me phrases that won't leave me, that keep repeating itself in my head even months (years) after first reading it. There's just the right amount of show trivia to make it a fanfiction, but little enough to make it a unique and original story. ne makes me fall in love with these characters all over again as if I didn't know them beforehand.

This story is special and precious and it speaks to me on so many levels I can hardly comprehend how genius it is. It's a literary masterpiece of fanfic if there ever was one.”

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@missmil: ‘Here I Stand’ by lauawill

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@manalyzer13: ‘Gravitation’ by northernexposure

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@grace-among-the-stars: ‘Filling the Void’ by Spiletta42

“Filling the Void is the one fic I always return to. It has my fave ships, JC, PT and D7. Minor characters play major parts and it is just funny. It makes me laugh every time.

JC’s relationship is really explored from all angles, this is not just your average, ‘the crew get them together fics’, it is so much more. It has sexual tension, smut, humour, sadness and is pure JC BLISS. It always cheers me up and I was so happy when Spiletta42 added it to Ao3 because this meant so many more people would find it.”

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Anonymous: ‘Bent, Not Broken’ by @killermanatee

“This is an incredible hurt/comfort Janeway/Chakotay fic. The story is painfully written from both characters' perspectives, showing how each is suffering in a different way from the traumatic event that has occurred. In the end, their love for each other will help them come together and they will both be able to heal with time, comfort, and support from one another. This is a beautifully told, emotionally heavy story of one couple's love overcoming tragedy. It is my favorite Janeway/Chakotay fic, and I recommend it to anyone who wants to read a heartbreaking yet fulfilling story.”

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@minakotenjou: ‘Mysterious and Curious’ by @h4t08

“It was so hard to choose - there are a lot of incredible fanfics out there. This was one of the first...shall we say spicier J/C fics I read and for some reason I still think of it often. It's great smut for sure, but I think it stuck with me because of how it all gets tied together at the end.”

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@leisylaura: ‘The Bitter End’ by @mia-cooper

“We have post endgame books but not one about the original timeline, I remember reading “The bitter end” and thinking “this is it, this is what happened”. I cried from beginning to end.”

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@killermanatee: ‘The Dying of the Light’ by @cnrothtrek

"This fic is such a gorgeous piece of art. I hadn't seen the TNG episode before reading it and when I did watch it I was very disappointed because this fic is just on such a completely different level. The storytelling is so delicate and intriguing, that combined with the poignant and elegant writing style, so that it was impossible to put my phone down. I can't recommend this fic highly enough."

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@cheile: ‘Marooned’ by Soliquilii9 (aka Running Horse)

“I love how she makes the story unfold in slow steady measures. Also, she filled in the gaps left by the writers in regards to his heritage by using information from her own Cherokee background and it is done naturally (not in an info dump type manner). “

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What do you think of our list of Voyager favorites? Do you have a favorite that isn’t on this list? Reply to this post with your favorite!! And if you haven’t read ALL of these fics yet, I strongly suggest you get started!! Have fun and enjoy!!

#voyager #star trek voyager #voyager fic #voyager book club #Voyager Favorite Fics

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buffyversefanfiction · 3 years

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Slayer of Slayers

Warnings:I do not own, nor do I claim to own any of the copyright or characters within the Buffyverse which includes but not limited to the television shows Buffy and Angel, as well as the Darkhorse comics series’ continuation.

15+ Strong to moderate violence, Graphic to mild descriptions of gore, and torture, sexually charged scenes, sexual innuendos, mild to strong language, and practices of witchcraft.

M/M, F/F, M/F, GEN, OTHER +

PART FIVE LINK HERE

Part Six - What You Left Behind

Theo Frey had confronted his parents Buffy and Angel, fought with them, and even almost killed one of them, but in the end, he could not find himself capable of the kill despite managing many kills before that. If anything, he had thought he would only become more ruthless after becoming a vampire but clearly things were not that straightforward, but could it really be that dying made him more human? No, surely not he thought as he ran out of the backdoor of his former family home only to find himself hit by a shovel to the head, not seeing where it came from, or who was holding the shovel, as everything suddenly went to black…

Ruby Moon, the former best friend of Theo Frey, joined Theo when he first left Riverborn to become a lackey for the deranged vampire Drusilla in a bid to protect her best friend but instead, she too found herself briefly seduced by the darkness, of the magical kind, but as she spiraled further and further into the dark acts she began to see changes within herself she did not like and soon she started to see Theo experience the same changes at the hands of Drusilla and her right-hand guy Tobias. She had tried multiple times to convince Theo to run away with her, but he was in too deep and so the young witch was forced to save herself, leaving her best friend behind, as she returned home to Riverborn to live a relatively normal life which led to her graduating from Riverborn High, going on to college, and marrying her best friend’s former crush Lucien Knight but through all the changes, and developments in her life, she could never shake the guilt of not being able to save Theo from the crutches of Drusilla and Tobias. Her now-husband Lucien Knight’s life was as far from normal as possible going on to join a top-secret government organization run by ex-initiative operative Riley Finn, an organization which unlike the initiative itself worked alongside slayers, witches, and even werewolves to achieve their mission, protect the innocent. Ruby and Lucien’s relationship started out as a friendship formed in the wake of losing Theo but grew over time into something more solid, eventually leading to the two falling in love and getting married, a marriage that nobody saw coming but somehow worked very well for the two of them. “Well, if it is not the witch who loves to ditch…” Theo said as he awoke to find himself chained to Ruby and Lucien’s bed within their bedroom, as the husband and wife stood above him, hovering over him, clearly revealing themselves to be Theo’s kidnappers. “I heard you two got hitched but has the marriage already gone that stale you’ve started chaining folk up to the bed?” “I never ditched you, Theo, I pleaded you to come with me, but you made your choice, you were never going to leave that life because you believed you had nothing left in your old life, but you always had me,” Ruby replied to him, making it clear to her friend that she never left him out of choice. “I never should have left you and for that, I am truly sorry, but I cannot allow you to just keep hurting people especially now you’re a vampire.” “You may have left but you did not leave with clean hands dearest friend, or have you forgotten your own kill count?” Theo responded, taunting the witch who at one stage in his life was his best friend. “And as for the whole vampire thing, am I wearing a sign or something?” “Once you have been around enough vampires you start being able to spot them,” Lucien said, finally breaking his silence and adding something to the hostile conversation. “Drusilla manipulated us both got me so hooked on magic I could not think straight but your drug of choice was vengeance, towards people she wanted you to hate, and you did everything she said,” Ruby argued with Theo, before going on to say. “I also know you still have a soul somehow which means despite all the odds, all she did to you, to us, that you are still able to be saved.” “Listen love if your conscience stopped you from getting dirty with the big players that are on you and nobody else but do not go blaming one vamp for your miserable life which includes marrying my sloppy seconds.” Theo cruelly mocked his former friend, as well as her marriage to his former lover. “You are not the guy I grew up with, you stopped being him the day your parents died but that does not mean you cannot ever be him again,” Ruby responded, refusing to react to his attempts to infuriate her. “I know you better than everyone, including those vampires who you claim as family…and I know somewhere deep down you are still a good person.” “And if you prove us wrong…if you really are too gone to be saved…then before the day is over, I’ll slam open those curtains and watch you burn

until there is nothing left on that bed except for your ashes.” Lucien warned the vampire, making it clear that he was ready to save or kill him.

Buffy sat on the doorstep of her son Theo’s adoptive family home, the place he grew up, as she remained shaken by her first meeting with her son, the hatred he had for her, the fact he was now undead just like his father, and the opportunity he had to take her out and was not unable but unwilling which meant despite all the darkness residing within her son there was still some light in there somewhere. “There’s no sign of him anywhere my guess is he’s hiding out while the sun is out who knows maybe he will come back tonight,” Willow said to Buffy as she sat down on the doorstep next to her friend. “I do not think he’s coming back, not again, the only reason we found him this time is that he wanted to be found and something tells me he may never want to be found by us again,” Buffy replied with a saddened sigh, speaking for the first time since her confrontation with her son. “I will find him, Buffy!” Willow promised the slayer, making it clear she was not giving up on Buffy’s son anytime soon. “I do not know when or where but I promise you I will not stop until I find and help him, the proper way this time with no slayer prisons.” “I hope your right Will, I hope we can get through to him, but what if we can’t?” Buffy cried, feeling defeated not only by her son’s hatred towards her but the guilt she felt for the tragic life he lived without her being there to protect him. “I wonder if he came back here for any other reasons, I mean he grew up in this town, right? I know his parents are dead but what about other family members? Or friends he may have grown up with? We should go to the High School, wait till night-time, of course, break-in, and hack into the school system to find out what year he was in, who he was in with, and possibly look for some old files, photos, or perhaps a yearbook to see who his people were.” Willow suggested, hoping to give Buffy hope. “At the very least you’ll get to learn more about your son before his world got torn apart and maybe there’s something in that information which could help us help him in the long run.” Buffy’s face lit up for a moment as she wiped the tears off her face, realizing that Willow’s idea was a stroke of genius, that maybe just maybe learning more about Theo’s life before everything went to hell, that maybe it would help her understand her son more perhaps even get through to him, or who knows to find somebody within this smalltown who could get through to her son.

“I guess a lot has changed since our days in High School judging by the fact you have a vampire shackled to a dead and it seems normal to you,” Theo said to Lucien, as the vampire remained chained to Lucien and Ruby’s bed within their bedroom, as he began plotting his escape as he noticed the sun starting to set. “After you left town with Ruby everyone just assumed you went crazy and killed your parents, then this team of specialists took over the case, and before I knew it, I found myself embroiled in the mystery of it all leading to the supernatural being my day-to-day job I guess,” Lucien replied to the vampire he once loved. “I joined a private organization specialized in working with, helping, and hunting the supernatural from time to time, by the time the whole world had realized what the hell was going on around us I was already working to help solve the problem…problems.” “One could say you chased after me and settled for the rest of the supernatural…and that is clearly not all you settled for…” Theo teased the first man he ever loved, before going on to ask. “Do you remember the last time we were together?” “You mean when you asked me to skip town with you? It’s not something someone easily forgets.” Lucien admitted reluctantly, piquing Theo’s curiosity. “Do you ever wish you came with me?” Theo asked, intrigued to know the answer. “No!” Lucien answered honestly. “But I do wish I found a way of making you stay…” “Probably a good thing you did not join the party you probably would have just wound up addicted to the magics like Ruby or a soulless vampire like the rest of the gang,” Theo told Lucien, before going on to say. “I know you did not take a vamp hostage without getting in some blood…and I’ve not eaten in a while…do not worry I won’t bite, as long as it’s not pig blood you’re serving.” And just like that Lucien went downstairs towards the kitchen to get fresh blood in a pouch bag from the local hospital that Ruby and he acquired before abducting Theo, and began pouring the blood into a glass, knowing Ruby said not to feed him until she got back, but foolishly believing he was getting through to his ex, which is of course exactly what Theo wanted him to believe. Lucien returned to the bedroom, a glass of blood in hand, ready to feed Theo, unwittingly becoming prey to the predator, as he reached out to hand Theo the glass, Theo grabbed a hold of him and pulled him into his grasp with all his force, Lucien unable to break free from the vampire’s hold. “You smell as good as you did back then!” Theo stated as his face turned into full vampire mode and he sunk his teeth into his ex-lover’s neck, draining him of his blood but cautious not to take too much, after all, Lucien was his leverage for his latest prison break.

Elsewhere in Riverborn, Buffy, Angel, and Willow had waited for the sun to go down before breaking into Riverborn High School, specifically the principal’s office, as the slayer and vampire worked their way through endless files within filing cabinets while leaving the computer hacking to the tech-savvy witch who was more than willing to hack or spell her way into gathering as much information about Theo Frey as possible. “Well, I’m in the records regarding his grades before dropping out and they’re quite impressive, not like Willow Rosenberg impressive but not far off either, perhaps he would’ve got there if he finished school,” Willow informed Buffy and Angel as they continued searching through the school files. “I’m going to load up reports, detentions, warnings, etc.… to see if there is anything about who his circle was, and if not, thankfully the yearbooks are now all online these days so that should show us actual pictures of his friends…if he had any that is.” “Can you print out any pictures you find of him?” Angel asked the red-headed witch nervously. “I know it may sound weird, but I have hardly any pictures of Connor before everything…it’d be nice to have some of Theo, even one picture.” “Of course, the minute I get to viewing I’ll get to printing!” Willow replied awkwardly, knowing she was partially to blame for Angel not seeing his son Theo grow up over the years. “Print me out some copies too!” Buffy said with a sense of sadness, knowing pictures were all she could ever have of her son’s past even if it would never make up for all the time, she had lost with him.

Meanwhile, back at Ruby Moon and Lucien Knight’s marital home, Ruby had just walked into the horrifying scene of a shackled Theo in full vampire face, strangling an unconscious Lucien, with bite marks on the victim’s neck, as Theo held his neck tightly with both hands, ready to snap his ex’s neck if Ruby so much as made one single move wrong. “Girl, he was all fine and funky for our teenage selves but we’re playing in the big games now and humans are just so fragile and expendable.” Theo taunted his former friend, as he applied more pressure on an unconscious Lucien’s neck. “But that does make awfully good cannon fodder…” “Please do not hurt him, Theo!” Ruby pleaded with the slayer of slayers turned vampire. “You do not want to hurt him!” “Maybe I do or maybe you want me to, after all, what kind of wife does not take the husband’s name and I know we’re all modern now, but he did not take your name either,” Theo responded knowing he had the brown-haired witch exactly where he wanted her. “But what would I know about marriage? All I know is you’re about to be a widow if you do not get these chains off me right now.” “If I do let you go what’s going to stop you from killing him anyway and then me?” Ruby asked him, knowing the chance of either her or her husband surviving this ordeal was rather slim. “You can either choose to believe there is still enough humanity in me to not kill my former best friend, enough to stop me killing a man I once love, or believe me to be the monster I truly am,” Theo stated before chuckling sinisterly. “Not like you really have a choice…” A choice Ruby did not have, she’d either not free Theo and watch him kill her husband, or free him and hope he does not kill them both, and so she released Theo from his chains and to her surprise, the vampire just left, without attacking, or threatening her, he just walked down the stairs, out the house, and out of sight, without any intention of bringing her any harm, and whether he meant to or not at that moment he had convinced the witch that now more than ever her best friend was still in there somewhere, and perhaps just perhaps, she had grown a little closer to bringing him back.

Following breaking into Riverborn High, Buffy, Angel, and Willow had discovered some more information about Buffy and Angel’s son Theo, learning he was quite the academic achiever, never missed class until he dropped out that is and was always with his friend Ruby Moon, who just so happened to go missing the same time as Theo, the difference being that Ruby returned to Riverborn less than a year later. With their new information, Buffy and Willow waited until the next morning to track Ruby down, hoping she had more information about Theo, or even hoping he had reached out to her after returning to his hometown, not realizing they had missed Theo himself by a matter of a few hours. “I’m not saying this friend is going to be the answers to all our problems but at least she is going to provide answers in general about your killer kid.” Willow tried to reassure Buffy as she knocked on the door of Ruby and Lucien’s front door. “If she’s willing to speak to us that is,” Buffy replied as Lucien opened his front door to the vampire slayer, and witch. “Willow Rosenberg, my wife is a huge fan of yours.” Lucien greeted them, instantly making it clear he knew who Willow was, before going on to say. “And I’m guessing by your blonde-haired companion that your Buffy Summers.” “I guess the government constantly trying to hunt us down makes us kind of famous everywhere now,” Willow said, surprised by the stranger’s sudden knowledge of her and Buffy, remembering how much things had changed for them both in recent years. “I work for Riley Finn; he talks highly of you both,” Lucien admitted to them both. “I do not think I’m supposed to say who I work for but oh well you are friends of his, so I hope that saves me from being fired.” “Talking of your wife being such a fan, is she in we kind of need to talk to her about a certain situation.” Willow wondered, eager to get to Ruby and get some answers for Buffy and Angel. “My wife is going to be super pissed she missed you, but she’s gone out of town…” Lucien began to explain as Buffy noticed the bite marks on her neck, assuming correctly that Theo had left his mark. “He’s been here, hasn’t he? Theo Frey, the slayer of slayers, and now newly turned vampire.” Buffy questioned him knowing she was getting somewhere. “We are looking for him and if you have any leads…” “I was worried that one day he pissed off the wrong slayer…I’m sorry Buffy I really because trust me after him taking a chunk out of my neck and getting my wife into all sorts of trouble I would happily hand him over to you but my wife’s convinced she can get through to him so I can’t be the one to get him killed, she would never forgive me.” Lucien apologized, assuming that Buffy and Willow were there to kill the slayer-turned vampire. “I do not want to kill him I want to stop him from killing others,” Buffy replied urgently. “Please, he’s my son I just want to help save him from himself before it’s too late.” “Hold up…Theo Frey is Buffy the vampire slayer’s son? I mean we all knew he was adopted but his birth mother being the legend herself.” Lucien responded looking gobsmacked by Buffy’s revelation. “Yeah, she’s his mum and Angel’s his dad but right now all we need from you is to tell us where he’s heading so we can safe your wife from being his latest target and hopefully save him too.” Willow snapped at Lucien, making it clear he had to tell them all he knew. “Where is he going?” “Back to where he considers home or that’s at least what Ruby reckons, back to the city of angels so to speak,” Lucien revealed to them both, as the slayer, and witch realized Theo had gone back to the last place he considered himself happy, the demonic dive bar he had with his recently dead lover Tobias.

Several days later, a determined Ruby walked into the infamous demonic dive bar located within a shady alleyway somewhere in the city of Los Angeles, stunned to see the place almost in ruins, having been wrecked during Theo’s showdown with Faith and not being fixed since. She looked around at the place she knew Theo would have loved running especially with Tobias and for a moment she felt saddened by Tobias’ death, not because she felt sorry for the vampire himself but because she knew how much Theo loved him, and how rare it was for Theo to care about anyone especially after the death of his parents. “I personally never got the appeal of Tobias; I mean he was painfully beautiful of course but other than that I really did not get it,” Ruby claimed as she found Theo staring into thin air, sitting at a corner table of the bar looking somewhat defeated. “But I get he meant something to you and for that, I am truly sorry.” “Listen, witch, I gave you a free pass for old times sake but if you are going to keep pestering me, I’m going to have to kill you,” Theo replied to his friend as he turned to look at her, his eyes clearly red raw from crying. “Have you ever wondered how Drusilla randomly just showed randomly show up into our lives the same night your parents were mysteriously murdered by a vampire? Does not take a genius to figure out she’s your parents’ killer and something tells me deep down you already know that.” Ruby replied to the vampire, revealing to him what she already believed he knew and just did not want to admit. “Do you not think that thought crossed my mind a hundred times?” Theo snapped at the witch, as he rose from his chair furiously. “Dru said she saw it coming and did not stop it which was a hard pill to swallow but I did…but Tobias promised me that she never took their lives and I believe in him more than I’ve ever believed in anyone.” “Well, your undead lover not only lied to you about Dru killing your mother but according to strong evidence from a corporation who specializes in the supernatural he may have killed your father or at least knows the vamp who teamed up with Drusilla to take out your parents,” Ruby confessed to the slayer of slayers, refusing to let him be in denial any longer. “Face facts Theo if your parents never died then you would never have run off with them and they knew it! I get you to want vengeance so how about you get it on the bitch who really deserves it?”

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