In F/SR, Chiemon was the victim of the Shimabara Rebellion, his family and his village all died because They were christians
He doesn't ever stop being religious, he still prays to God, even if he has given up everything else
He has no hopes of going to Heaven, so what he wants is to see that Hell he lived again
Because that's what he believes that he deserves
And yet, at the end of the day, the only thing Chiemon wants was to be saved (from the DLC 1, Lancer's Team ending, he prays at (possibly) his mother's grave)
But he can't allow himself that because he doesn't even believe he should have survived at all
Why only him
His mother, his father, all of them killed
And he was the only one who survived
Left in that hell
And then you have Lancer
He prayed her summoning, he started the chant as a prayer
Jeanne, who gave her life to save everyone
Who was fine with being killed because she had saved her country
They are opposites and they are one and the same
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i'm only at the beginning of li tongguang's descent into obsession (eps 17-18), but already it's both hurting and hitting. hurting, because we know li tongguang's capabilities, and his level headedness, and the potential he has, that he seems to throw out due to this obsession. hitting, because when you think about it, the obsession storyline and characterization does make perfect sense. obsession like that is a double edged blade, which can turn from love to hate, childish belief and joy to embittered rage in a second.
on one hand, it's painful to watch ltg's childlike desperation when faced with ruyi again. we want to grit our teeth and think of him as idiotic, unable to take a hint. but the reality is that it's a completely normal response to be expected from him. i mean, it's a dream come true, to see the person you 'love' the most in the world to be whole in front of you. it's probably what he could only dream about, especially being the one to apparently find her bones and bury them.
on a deeper level, ltg's initial reaction is very much a manifestation of his inner child, almost peter pan-like in the 'child that never became an adult/grew up' way. by that i mean to say the desperate urge to please, the constant worrying, and the oscillation between hot and cold moods are all so indicative of someone who grew up in an insecure/unstable environment, usually with volatile or simply unavailable authority figures. from what we can gather, he had no father, his mother wasn't in his life ("she doesn't want him around, nor can she bear for him to be away, so that's why he's like that" per empress zhaojie's words to ruyi). the one authority figure that entered his life to offer some semblance of guidance was ruyi, and even though it's clear that she held care for him, she was also a twenty year old assassin used to training subordinates, not children. her mentorship style is clearly so different when you hold ltg and yang ying side by side, and we know from ruyi's own mouth that she doesn't consider herself to have taught ltg well, and wants to remedy that through/with yang ying (i'll probably make a whole different post comparing this and the affects of this after watching some more episodes lol - there are bullet points in the drafts). so even though ruyi was his authority figure, she was still an emotionally unavailable one who couldn't meet ltg on the level he probably needed at that time in his life, and which no one probably ever did. hence his up and down reaction and actions.
it intrigues me, too, because i think, in a very subtle way, ltg is very much a character foil to ruyi in that he reflects some of her worst attributes, or more accurately represents the sort of person she was, or at least acted like (yuan lu's comment about how ltg has ruyi's gaze was meaningful outside of the jealousy arc - to me at least). i saw someone make a really interesting comment on how ltg's devotion to ruyi parallels ruyi's own devotion to empress zhaojie, which i'll also probably comment on more later.
obviously, ltg's obsession stems from an issue much larger than ruyi herself - she just happens to be the unfortunate target of it. and, clearly, i know his descent into it will be ugly, if understandable. i understand ruyi wanting to leave that part of her life behind, but also - to think that maybe many of the issues faced in future eps could have been avoidable if she'd been upfront with li tongguang about her identity early on.
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any particular thoughts on how number would react to delores?
Do I! Do I!
The long and short of it is that Number would fucking hate Delores. She represents too much about how bad things could have been for him and begs for self reflection, which he is not going to do.
She's an immediate shorthand to show how desperate and insane Five got living alone in the apocalypse, with the added level of that Number is also Five. Number is also confident and comfortable in his identity as aroace - been there, tried it, didn't like it, he's good to go. And now here's this alternate version of himself that not only went so far off the deep end that he made up a person to love, but he then made that fake person his wife.
We know the nuance of Five and Delores (at least through my headcanon - Five was 13 when he landed in the apocalypse and had very limited examples and vocabulary for what adult relationships are and mean to build his Person with), but Number absolutely is not going to sit down and listen. He's out, it's too close and too real and makes how close he was to being Five too much. Delores' introduction to us in the show was a real What The Fuck; her introduction to Number would be a true mindfuck. She's where he's drawing his line for Too Far.
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