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Amazon review on this Morrow edition of "Good Omens" by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett I found this morning that left me laughing in tears right from the title.
... Actually, in hindsight, having seen the ineffable divorce™️ of Season 2, the fact that the only thing left on the cover is his glass of wine makes me so sad. It's like Crowley, having now been through all that, has left his glass of wine in the bookshop and is refusing to come back since Aziraphale is gone. Muriel doesn't really want to touch what Crowley left in the hopes he will be back soon and maybe still want his glass of "whine", whatever that is. He seemed sad last time they saw him, so that's probably what they meant by "whine".
.... Wait a minute though, did Aziraphale write this review?!? "WHERE IS MY WIFE?" ?!?!?
Okay it's time to tag him, this has gone off the rails and so have I. @neil-gaiman please explain. Thank you. (Love your work, actually. But also... What is going on here.)
Update, not even 10 hours after I originally posted this: Neil himself liked the post. I'm freaking out a normal amount about it.
PS: here's a lil thank you post for all the notes I'm getting, holy hell!!!
The more I learn about judaism the more I wonder where tf christianity got all its bad shit. Why is divorce a sin in christianity when judaism has recognized the right to divorce for nearly a millennia and has codified religious laws for it. Why does christianity consider sex to be dirty (to the point where puritans considered it a sin to enjoy having sex with your own spouse) when in judaism it's considered holy and it's a literal mitzvah to have sex with your spouse on the sabbath. Why does christianity consider it a sign that you're faithless if you question your religion when in judaism that's considered an essential part to developing your faith. I'm probably stating the obvious here but I still can't get over the fact that there's no historical basis to any of this shit before christianity started, it's like christians just said "hey guys what if we took the torah and built a new religion around it but this time it was actively hostile to human life"
THERE ARE OTHER WAYS DID NOT GO WHERE I WAS EXPECTING IT TO OH MY GOD /POS
PENELOPE’S THEME AND INSTRUMENT?? ODYSSEUS BEING QUITE LITERALLY BACKED INTO A CORNER AND HAVING SEEMINGLY NO OTHER WAY TO SAVE HIS MEN BUT STILL NOT BEING ABLE TO BRING HIMSELF TO GO THROUGH WITH THE ACT (EVEN THO IT WOULDN’T BE A TRUE ACT OF BETRAYAL BECAUSE THERE’S NO ACTUAL CONSENT ON HIS SIDE AND IT WAS SOMETHING HE WAS ABOUT TO BE COERCED INTO)??? CIRCE BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF BEFORE AND BELIEVING THAT “BECOMING THE PUPPETEER” IS THE ONLY WAY TO KEEP HERSELF AND HER NYMPHS SAFE SO SHE OFFERS THIS “ACT OF PASSION” TO STILL HAVE A FORM OF CONTROL, AND THEN SEEING ODYSSEUS IS NOT LIKE THOSE BEFORE BECAUSE HE’S SO IN LOVE WITH PENELOPE (WHO HE HASN’T SEEN IN 12 YEARS) THAT HE REFUSES HER OFFER AND PLEADS BECAUSE IT’S NOT WORTH IT EVEN THO THATS THE ONLY OPTION HE’S BEEN GIVEN??? HIM CALLING HIMSELF A PUPPET MAKING HER REALIZE THAT THIS CYCLE OF ABUSE AND CONTROL ISN’T WORTH IT ONLY TO COME TO A MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING BECAUSE SHE KNOWS WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE TRULY IN LOVE AND TO BE HURT, SO SHE OFFERS HIM AN ACT OF KINDNESS INSTEAD???
“Maybe showing one act of kindness leads to kinder souls down the road”
big fan of essek thelyss, not the fanon interpretation, which is either "smol bean, tiny fragile elf who's a sweetheart and basically a child" or people mistakenly calling betrayal of one's home country a "war crime" and then proceeding to be flippant about it anyway, but the real Essek
pretentious motherfucker that committed treason bc he though he was smarter than everyone else
learned to float literally just to impress other rich people
canonically neutral evil
basically head spymaster of his country and master of lies but sucks shit lying to his friends
stayed bitchy even after his redemption arc
"there is nothing I would love more than to not be around you all for the remainder of this day"
a space wizard that crushed someone with telekenesis just to show off (the person was already dying)
sexy feet, nice ass, overall hottie
fell in love with a traumatized wizard of his enemy country and it was mutual despite all the betrayal
faggot
gave away state secrets to enemy wizard bc he though he was sexy
discovered time travel with his boyfriend
proceeded to say they shouldn't use time travel (bc now he's a good boy) but was willing to sacrifice everything and help if his bf wanted to use it
once confessed he had such a bad fight with his dad that his dad ran into the demon caves and never returned (essek doesn't feel bad about this at all)
young for an elf but still 120 years old, he called his bf "young man" and flexed on him about how much more evil he is