Where’s The Beef ?

“Where’s the Beef?” is arguably the most famous catchphrase concerning a fast food chain. Can you think of another that rivals Wendy’s ad from 1984? There have been many iconic catchphrases from commercials over the years. But in the 1980s, one catchphrase ruled them all — “Where’s the Beef?” If you grew up during this time, you know how iconic this catchphrase was. It had a tremendous impact on…

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I was visited by a flea

The lore from this post, rip in pieces clay you will be missed.

Also featuring Jade an oc by @spjs shes the one next to John in the second to last page :D she was in one of their fics and I fell in love with her.

they can’t stand eachother they told me

i read a wonderful little sickfic that had phantom!etho in it, and despite never even considering the concept before i now can't stop abt etho phantom mechanics and him just being silly with it <3

Miguel is Fine, Actually (Being Spider-Man's Just Toxic As Hell)

Before I watched ATSV I said that I would defend my man Miguel O'Hara's actions no matter what, because he's always valid and I support women's wrongs. I was joking, and I did not actually expect to start defending him on Tumblr.edu. But I'm seeing a lot of commentary that's super reductive, so I do want to bring up another perspective on his character.

Miguel wasn't acting against the spirit of Spider-Man, or what being Spider-Man means. Miguel isn't meant to represent the antithesis of Spider-Man. Miles is the antithesis of Spider-Man. Miguel represents Spider-Man taken to its extreme.

Think about Miguel's actions from his perspective. If you were a hero who genuinely, legitimately, 100%, no doubt about it, believed that somebody is going to make a selfish decision that will destroy an entire universe and put the entire multiverse at severe risk - if you had an over-burdened sense of responsibility and believed in doing the right thing no matter what - you would also chase down the kid and put him in baby jail to try and prevent it. He believed that he was saving the multiverse, and that Miles was putting it in danger for selfish reasons. Which is completely unforgivable to him, because selfishness is what he hates the most. And then he goes completely out of pocket and starts beefing with a 15yo lmfaooo he's such a dick.

But why did Miguel believe that? Why did he believe that Miles choosing himself and his own happiness over the well-being of others was the worst possible thing? Why did he believe that tragedy was inevitable in their lives, and that without tragedy Spider-Man can't exist?

Because he's Spider-Man.

Peter Parker was once a fifteen year old who chose his own happiness over protecting others. It was the greatest regret of his life and he never forgave himself. Peter's ethos means that he will put himself last every time, and that he will sacrifice anything and everything in his life - his relationships, his health, his future - to protecting and helping others. Peter dropped out of college because it interfered with Spider-Man. He destroyed his own future for Spider-Man. He ruins friendships and romantic relationships because Spider-Man was more important. If Peter ever tries to protect himself and his own happiness, then he's a bad person.

That is intrinsic to Peter. Peter would not be Peter without it. A story that is not defined by Peter's unhappiness is not a Spider-Man story. If Peter doesn't make himself miserable, then he's just not Peter.

That is a Spider-Man story: that not only is tragedy inevitable, that if you don't allow yourself to be defined by your tragedy then you're a bad person. If you don't suffer, then you're a bad person. If you ever put anything above Spider-Man, then you're killing Uncle Ben all over again. Miguel isn't the only one that believes this - as we saw, every Spider-Man buys into what he's saying. There's no Spider-Man without these beliefs.

Miguel attempted to find his own happiness, and he was punished in the most extreme way. He got Uncle Ben'd x10000. He tried to be happy, and it literally destroyed his entire universe. It's the Spider-narrative taken to the extreme. Of course Miguel believes all of this. Of course he believes this so firmly. He's Spider-Man. That's his story. And the one time Miguel tried to fight against that story, he was punished. And like any Spider-Man, he'll slavishly obey that narrative no matter the evil it creates and perpetuates. Because if he doesn't, the narrative will punish him. The narrative will always punish him. It's a Spider-Man story.

I don't think the universal constant between Spider-Mans, the thing that makes them Spider-Man, is tragedy. I think it's the fact that they never forgive themselves. And Miguel is what that viewpoint creates. He doesn't believe this things because he's an awful, mean person. He believes them because he's a hero. He's a good person who hates himself.

Across the Spider-verse isn't really a Spider-Man story. It's a story about Spider-Man stories. Miguel's right: if this was a Spider-Man story, then Miles acting selfishly really would destroy the universe. But Miles' story isn't interested in punishing him. It pushes back against Peter's narrative that unhappiness is inevitable and that you have to suffer to be a good person. It says that sometimes we do the right thing from love and not fear, and that Peter's way of thinking is ultimately super toxic and unhappy. ITSV was about Miles deciding that he didn't need to be Peter Parker, that all he needed to be was Miles, and ATSV is about how being Peter Parker isn't such a good thing. Miguel shows that. Whatever toxic and unhealthy beliefs he holds - they're the exact same beliefs that any Spider-Man holds. He's a dick, but I don't think he's any more awful a person than Peter is.

TL;DR: Miguel isn't a bad person, he just has Spider-Man brainrot.

even more duos!

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 6 part 7 part 8

ode to steeplechase, which ended today and I am very sad to see it go, thank you Justin McElroy for everything

category 5 jetko moment

so i rewatched nimona today and it was great but ive been puzzling over why on earth the director decided, when she thought ambrosius was confronting her with zero evidence beyond his faith in ballister, to pull out the actual proof of ballisters sword and kill him with it.

it seemed like the most incriminating possible choice!

and then i realized she did it with ballister's sword because she was going to frame him for ambrosius's death, too.

most iconic bridge crew moment has to be sulu chekov uhura and bones all talking mad shit about this politician spock was very diplomatically trying to talk to on call, and as the audience we assume the call ended BEFORE this roast fest started until the camera slowly pans round to reveal the politician guy still on the line listening to uhura call him an infuriating asshole straight to his face. and like poor spock is just trying to save his boyfriend and be diplomatic while his whole crew is LOOKING STRAIGHT AT THE SCREEN and being like “spock this guy sucks ass”

I think what is not mentioned in the Rite of Ascension dilemma is that it's certainly not the only way for a vampire to walk in daylight. The Rite was the way for a vampire to have it all at once, with a cherry on top - which is why it took a devil and 7000 souls to arrange.

For instance, the Cloak of Dragomir, which canonically exists in the in-game universe and allows vampires to walk in sunlight, also nerfs them, removing their vampire strength and bringing them on the same level as mortals. It was the reason why the original owner and commissioner, the vampire lord Dragomir, was furious with the result. He didn't want just to stroll in the light of day; he wanted to dominate everyone in the light of day. He could no longer enjoy simple things; he was obsessed with cultivating more power, and the cloak failed to assist him with that purpose.

So, there are certainly ways and methods. They aren't "good enough" for vampire lords because vampire lords don't want to just take a walk in the city in the light of day; they want to conquer cities without having to fear the sunlight.

However, such methods would be more than enough for one dashing vampire spawn rogue who simply likes to bask in the sun.

Additionally, from what I learned by combing through DnD forums, it is possible that spells and artifacts that protect vampires from sunlight do exist, but any vampire lord who owns those would keep them a secret. After all, they don't want their advantage stolen or compromised by their vampire competitors or adventurers.

Finally, while such an artifact or a spell may not be found in ancient books or texts, but they can be commissioned from a knowing master of arcane arts or an artificer. It's not easy, but and would cost a fortune, but it's possible.

a personal favorite

The baby sannin and the Senju. OK IDEAS UNDER THE CUT

I’ve read it a few times (not often enough) in fic that because of Tsunade’s lineage/family, it’s possible that the baby sannin got to know Hashirama, Tobirama, Mito etc. Basically the esteemed, almost royal, Senju family. By virtue of just being Tsunade’s teammates, I’m sure both Orochimaru and Jiraiya would’ve been kids the family wanted to get to know, and might’ve even come under intense scrutiny and/or affection lmao.

I know the warring era timeline is fuzzy, but it seems like Tsunade knew her grandpa for a while. It’s unlikely for the sannin to be a trio until they’re genin (would be cute tho), but I think would still warrant Tobirama knowing who they are. I’m assuming Sarutobi was already teaching the three, during the Nidaime’s rule, before he takes up the hat. Mito is still alive in Kushina’s time, so she’d definitely see the other two often.

Regardless, I like the thought of this being possible lmao. Tsunade roping her two buddies into her family compound and stuff. (Orochimaru is orphaned at some point and it squeezes my heart at the thought that the Tsunade tries her best to help) ((There’s probably something about the clan not taking orphans, because favouritism and all that but eugh PRETEND))

In any case, I think any students linked to the Hokage or the Hokage’s students are always a big deal as they’re likely to be the next candidates, so the sannin were a very special team from the get go. It then makes sense then for Nawaki, Tsunade’s brother, to be entrusted to Orochimaru (not at all canonically proven to be a sensei-student relation, but still entrusted because it’s Orochimaru, Tsunade’s teammate). This is probably a death that was a rather big deal for the Senju family tbh, and it’d be news in Konoha at the very least, tied to Oro’s name possibly? Fast forward to when Oro’s the only Sannin left in Konoha and the small and dwindling Senju clan, he’s quite terribly alone, leading to Danzo, Root, etc. He made the choice to be a horrible human, but quite a lot leads up to it/molds him into it. Anyway, lmao how awkward it’d be to reincarnate Tsunade’s grandpa and granduncle with Edo Tensei sldkfjngsdg. The god of shinobi going “Omg you’ve grown so tall now, you used to be so kawaii” XD

The rest of the poem is even better so go read the 2015 comics. Shoo.